Heart's cult Sunday night show Ellie Taylor and Anna Whitehouse is now available as a podcast - and it's packed full of extra unheard content that’s too rude for radio. Everything’s up for discussion from dating, sex, family matters, fashion disasters to those little things you notice and need to tell someone. Heart's very own dynamic duo don't hold back. Whether you're commuting, tackling a Herculean pile of 'adulting', or just trying to drone out the sound of your colleagues, Ellie and Anna have got your back.
What's the craziest thing you've done in the name of beauty? Placenta facial? Vampire face-lift? Did the suffragettes really fight for us to have the right to laser off our pubes? Plus, Ellie and Anna discuss whether it's ever a good idea to get back with your ex. And find out what led to Ellie peeing in the bath on a weekend away with her husband. Don’t forget to rate and subscribe, we love hearing from you, and drop us a message on the details below Anna Whitehouse Twitter: @mother_pukka Instagram: @mother_pukka Ellie Taylor Twitter: @EllieJaneTaylor Instagram: @elliejanetaylor Don’t forget to listen to the live radio show on Heart! Sunday nights 10pm – 1am
As 65-year-old Hollywood actor Dennis Quaid announces his engagement to his 26-year-old girlfriend [insert Ellie's vomiting sound], Ellie and Anna discuss age gap relationships, the weird and wonderful things people have done in the name of love, plus Anna discovered another word she can't say (spoiler alert: it's bread based). And a BONUS, Ellie and Anna speak to Cathy Keen, who's in a consensual non-monogamous relationship with her husband and female partner. Don’t forget to rate and subscribe, we love hearing from you, and drop us a message on the details below Anna Whitehouse Twitter: @mother_pukka Instagram: @mother_pukka Ellie Taylor Twitter: @EllieJaneTaylor Instagram: @elliejanetaylor Don’t forget to listen to the live radio show on Heart! Sunday nights 10pm – 1am
Ever heard of findomming? Nope, us neither. We talk to Elysia Nicole about her life as a financial dominatrix - a new trend where men pay women to insult them and then drain their bank accounts. Plus, Chef Heston Blumenthal has caused quite a stir this week after he claimed female chefs aren't reaching the same levels as men in the industry due to "evolution" and women not being able to lift pots and pans. FYI, Heston, a standard iron skillet weights on average 3.5kg, while a toddler on average weighs 12kg. Ellie and Anna talk about their own experiences of workplace sexism. Also, can dried weetabix in a bowl end a relationship? We delve into couples' pet peeves. Don’t forget to rate and subscribe, we love hearing from you, and drop us a message on the details below Anna Whitehouse Twitter: @mother_pukka Instagram: @mother_pukka Ellie Taylor Twitter: @EllieJaneTaylor Instagram: @elliejanetaylor Don’t forget to listen to the live radio show on Heart! Sunday nights 10pm – 1am
Whose side are you on in the war of the WAGs? This week Ellie and Anna are discussing Coleen Rooney's, AKA WAGathaChristie, top class sleuthing after she accused Rebekah Vardy of selling fake stories about her to the press. Is it time to start the 'wap yer bap out' campaign? After a woman was asked by a cafe owner to cover up while boob-feeding her baby, Ellie and Anna discuss why in 2019 people still have a problem with breastfeeding. While it's always okay to breastfeed in public, plucking chin hair and cutting toenails is definitely not. Don’t forget to rate and subscribe, we love hearing from you, and drop us a message on the details below Anna Whitehouse Twitter: @mother_pukka Instagram: @mother_pukka Ellie Taylor Twitter: @EllieJaneTaylor Instagram: @elliejanetaylor Don’t forget to listen to the live radio show on Heart! Sunday nights 10pm – 1am
To shave or not to shave? That’s the question Ellie and Anna are asking this week! To help them out, we’ve enlisted the help of writer and illustrator Flo Perry, who’s also conveniently written an amazing book called ‘How To Have Feminist Sex’ (no, we know what you’re thinking, it’s not role playing as a Suffragette….). It’s all about having more of the sex you want, sex that makes you feel good, and sex on your terms, as well as also taking a cheeky nude every now and again. Were you disciplined when you were a child? This week Scotland made smacking your children illegal. As difficult as kids can be sometimes, this is definitely overdue, so Ellie and Anna reflect on their childhood discipline of the 80s and whether grounding really worked. Don’t forget to rate and subscribe, we love hearing from you, and drop us a message on the details below Anna Whitehouse Twitter: @mother_pukka Instagram: @mother_pukka Ellie Taylor Twitter: @EllieJaneTaylor Instagram: @elliejanetaylor Don’t forget to listen to the live radio show on Heart! Sunday nights 10pm – 1am Flo Perry’s book “How To Have Feminist Sex” is out now!
This week’s episode is a tense one as Ellie and Anna discuss the most hotly contested topic since the Brexit referendum... what’s the correct way to have a jacket potato? Things get nasty as they unpack whether you stick to the classic cheese and bean combo, or go rogue and chuck in some tuna/coleslaw/BBQ sauce? It’s safe to say there are no real winners, just a bruised ego or two. Now the important bit is out of the way, Ellie and Anna break down the etiquette surrounding discussing your ex and whether you should do it at all, even if it is polite. When’s the correct time to bring it up on a date? Anna’s also still recovering from falling out of a taxi stone cold sober and has a fat ankle as a result, so if that story in itself wasn’t hilarious enough, Ellie and Anna also discuss their funniest holiday injuries and they are GOLDEN.
Monday 30th September is International Podcast Day, and is an international celebration of the power of podcasts! To celebrate, Anna is sharing some of her favourite podcasts with you and why she loves them so much. Have a listen, subscribe to some new shows and share your favourite shows on Twitter by using the hashtag #InternationalPodcastDay
Monday 30th September is International Podcast Day, and is an international celebration of the power of podcasts! To celebrate, Ellie is sharing some of her favourite podcasts with you and why she loves them so much. Have a listen, subscribe to some new shows and share your favourite shows on Twitter by using the hashtag #InternationalPodcastDay
Little Mix’s Jesy Nelson’s documentary on trolls has got everyone talking, so this week Ellie and Anna are reflecting on their own experience of trolls. Should you engage with them? Should you block them? Do you kill them with kindness? Or do you take a leaf out of Anna’s book, and take them for a 2for1 offer on doughballs at Pizza Express*? We don’t condone that last one, but Anna actually did this!? Plus, it’s that time of year that students across the country flock the nest for the first time and venture off into the complicated world of adulthood at university. But do we ever really grow up? Do we ever not like coming back to the safety of our caregiver’s home, with soft furnishings and fully working appliances at any age? The answer to that is a fat NO. There’s also some bonus content of Ellie asking for a skinny almond milk cappuccino (what a rookie) and Anna’s husband coming to the office to actually hand deliver crutches! *other pizza chains are available
Tonight, it’s rekindling the flame in your relationship, FOMO Vs JOMO, and regrets! Has the spark gone, is the flame now just a barely lit ember? Ellie and Anna look at what to do when things aren’t as sassy as they used to be, and how you can get the spark back in your relationship… including discussing their own sex bucket lists. They discuss whether missed opportunities ever turn out to be a good thing, and then delve into the world of regret. It turns out Anna has one or two!
The holidays are over, summers finished and as we get back to normality it turns out the post-holiday hangover is real! Ellie and Anna reflect on their own summer holidays, whether they bring you together as a family or divide your relationship and they reminisce about going back to school. We’re talking about the joy of stationary, signing hymns and those first day photo’s on Facebook. They also delve into the world of personal grooming fails. From the bottom to the top…they discuss everything from hair removal cream regrets to holding 90’s celebs account for their crimes against fashion.
What’s the difference between being a gentleman and being a lad? What’s the difference between being a gentleman and just generally being a good human? Has feminism killed the gentleman? Where do we go when we die? Just when things are starting to feel a little highbrow this week, it’s all brought back down to earth when Ellie belches into the microphone half way through the show. Ah well, it was nice while it lasted right?! Ellie and Anna also tackle the dreaded ‘ICK’ feeling in a relationship, and discuss the fine line between being understandably grossed out by something your partner does, and just being shallow.
Hi! Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk past again? Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? This week it’s chat up line GALORE as Ellie and Anna discuss the importance of humour in relationships, and how to deploy it expertly to diffuse arguments. Plus, Gemma Collins was in the headlines for making her stylist sniff her ‘yeasty’ vagina, bringing a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘scratch and sniff’, so Ellie and Anna explore what it means to be a ‘lady’ in 2019. We also discover ANOTHER word that Anna can’t say…. She says ‘PISTACH-OH’ FOR ‘PISTACHIO’?! What on earth?!
Forget love at first sight, it’s all about love at first sniff. This week, Ellie and Anna hark back to the days of Lynx Africa and the Charlie SO! Fragrances as they discuss the importance of scent in attraction and relationships. We also get a bit high-brow as we do make some REAL LIFE SCIENCE on the show: A SMELL TEST. Can Anna sniff out husband Matt’s t-shirt amongst a shirt from a random man in the office (who was left shivering by the photocopier), and quite literally the shirt off Ellie’s back? The girls also get a bit competitive in the Great British SICK Off at home as well as discussing muting people on social media because their success and happiness quite literally makes you want to die a little inside. There’s also some bonus content involving a DOG called HELEN (?!) and the time Ellie wrote an actual complaint to Pret* for discontinuing her favourite snack.
When sex goes from hush hush to bang bang as you mature from creeping around as a teenager, to being a married woman with a mortgage, a child, another one on the way, and finally being able to sleep in the same room as your partner under your parents roof. The girls also come equipped with some handy tips if you yourself live under a ‘Mr or Mrs Stamina’, which come mainly in the form of a sleepy Ellie in a dressing gown, banging the ceiling with a broom in the middle of the night. Plus in the week that saw Kylie Jenner’s entire floor get covered with $50,000 worth of roses by her boyfriend for her birthday, and not forgetting the woman who was proposed to by her farmer fiancée using a ring on a cow udder, it’s all about romantic gestures. Throat losanges and silicone straws are about as far is it stretches in the Taylor/Whitehouse household apparently… lucky, lucky ladies.
This week dear listener, Ellie and Anna regale us with tales of their youth about times they used older relatives IDs to buy peach Archers and Lambrini, and when Ellie lied on her CV saying she was a journo so they sent her to interview a scouse man in prison. Unsurprisingly that was the last feature she wrote as a journalist. Certainly lots of faking, maybe not so much making it. Plus, in the week Jacob Rees-Mogg’s style guide was leaked to the press banning words and phrases like ‘very’ and ‘not fit for purpose’, Ellie and Anna give us a glimpse into what the world would look like if they were rulers of the universe and rattle off ALL the words and phrases they would want banned #sorrynotsorry. We’ll also throw in a story from Anna about two horses defecating in unison, just for good measure. Don’t say we don’t treat you!!
In the week that the summer holidays got into full swing and Britain saw the hottest day EVER, parents everywhere were beginning to break down. Have no fear! Ellie and Anna being the female superheroes we never had are saving the day with tales of their youth and a summer holiday survival guide. The girls also get talk style wars with your partner as Anna’s bought a pair of sandals that made hubby Matt nearly walk out the house. There’s also the added bonus of a runaway scrotum in the park, and Anna having a dream that she fancied Katy Perry, but couldn’t talk to he without a lisp as she had artichoke leaves for teeth. Yeah, we don’t know either… enjoy!
Diets for werewolves, getting excited over posh crockery and Ellie smashing the patriarchy by watching Magic Mike Live whilst her husband looks after the babe. What. A. Week. It’s bikini body season (and by that, we mean you have a body and a bikini) so the girls are venturing into the world of fad diets, diet myths and detoxing. The conclusion? Let’s sack it all in and get a large Margherita and a bottle of red wine. Plus this week our feeds have been saturated with leathery faces of ourselves courtesy of the FaceApp, so we’re asking how do you know you’re getting old?! Turns out it’s when you’re more interested in the bedding in ‘Killing Eve’ than the actual story line, that’s how!
Possums, wombats and a bull EE-I-EE-I-O. No, Ellie & Anna have not invested in farmland (as far as I know), but these animals do all feature in this week's episode, as the girls discover how language barriers can affect relationships. Plus, why's it so easy to "fall in love" when you're on holiday? In pursuit of the answer to that question, Anna shares a sexy story about a head brace-based snog she experienced with a boy named Bug Breath. The girls also delve into the Top Three Holiday Romances We've All Experienced! P.S. Probably should've had opened with this - it's HUGE NEWS - but this show's been officially happening for one whole year! Confusingly, there aren't 52 episodes of the podcast (holidays n that), but we'd all like to take this opportunity to thank you for listening!
I LOVE YOU! Was it too soon tell you that? Maybe a podcast description just wasn't the right place to let you know. Thankfully, Ellie & Anna are here to clue us up on the dos and don'ts of saying the three words that mean the most. There are rules, stats and some interesting views on lip-kissing your dad! Plus, modern day dating milestones! Remember when meeting the in-laws was a the biggest hurdle in any new relationship? Well, those days a long gone! Now, it's all about being invited into the family WhatsApp group and sharing your social media passwords. The girls also discuss also discuss what the future of dating has got in store!
This week, Ellie & Anna mark the end of Pride Month by sharing a couple of difference perspectives on coming out. One experience exists at the end of a phone line, the other at the end of Anna's family tree! Plus, are millennials having less sex than ever before, or is technology making it even easier to get laid? The girls explore those questions with the help of Brian, a 22-year-old male virgin.
First issue on the agenda this week? Hay fever-based noises! From the humble sniffle to something resembling a spluttering steam engine - we've got them all! It's not so much a topic of conversation, more a warning, if you're one of the few (sensible) listeners who reads this blurb/disclaimer before diving in. ACTUAL ISSUE NO.1: How do you tell a sexual bedfellow that they're not hitting the spot? That's where we begin this week. Ellie & Anna are joined by Sex & Relationship Coach, Louisa MacInnes, to discuss "the old hoo-haa" and The Bossy (not botty) Massage! Plus, "Relationship Regret" and how it affects us... there's a list and everything. Of course, the great British weather plays a part. Bloody weather.
It's Father's Day! Or, at least it was Father's Day. So, who better to join the girls than host of fathering podcast 'Don't Tell Your Mum' and Heart Dad, JK! Following a quick warm up, which mainly consists of ropey Darth Vader impressions, it's straight onto what Dad's really want on their big day. Turns out it's not giant frying pans or personalised Toblerone - who knew?! Also this week, Ellie & Anna discuss giving advice to your younger self and explain the intricacies of the "strawpedo".
This week, Ellie and Anna explore "The Top Five Types of Cheating"... two of them don't even involve another person. Turns out, however, they could involve your coppers/gherkin jar and Anna's former gardener, Vince (The Prince). Also, gossip! Why it's good for us, when it backfires AND why, if you're planning a secret proposal, it's probably best to keep the proposal secret. Simple advice, easy to follow.
Classy: An adjective, meaning stylish and sophisticated. Unless, of course, you're Anna Whitehouse, who's got other ideas. All will be revealed as the girls discuss body modifications and how they affect your relationship! Also on the menu this week - the purchases you make "under the influence". We're not necessarily talking booze, either. What about those big "romantic" gestures that cost the earth... but are often made prematurely under the guise of true love!
This week, Ellie & Anna celebrate our 'Everyday Heroes' and explore 'Digital Parenting'. Plus, Anna's folks may have unlocked the secret to a long and successful marriage! You'll be pleased to hear that it involved carrots... and an aggressive melon. Providing very little counter balance to that revelation, is Ellie's story about her dad's (yet undiagnosed) psychopathic tendencies.
HOW OLD IS TOO OLD TO BE AT DA CLUB? Well, according to "the people" - or 5000 of them, at least - it's younger than Anna is, and trust me, she's still very much (annually) at da club! Despite her aggressive passion for the nightlife, she won't be "Russian" to the final of Britain's Next Top Mixologist* any time soon - a joke that should make sense if you make it that far through this week's episode. To camp Ellie, where the pressure's on in the inaugural (and only) "D of E Off" - we're making history here, guys. *Not a genuine TV show. Just a great idea.
Ellie & Anna officially welcome "young Archie-chops" into the people's nook, as they discuss the royal arrival! There's advice from Anna on how much padding should be involved when wearing white post-birth, and the girls share your "my labour was overshadowed by..." stories. Plus, we delve into Anna's husband's calendar, and find out what "accounts due" really means (and why she probably shouldn't have made this discovery on the eve of her birthday)!
ELLIE TAYLOR AND HER UNCLE HARRY'S WET EXCHANGE. The hottest new indie band to come out of the UK, or an awkward family-based greeting gone wrong? Ellie's got the answer (and all the disturbing details) in this week's episode! Plus, Anna campaigns to bring back the high five, and the girls play a game of "Snog, Marry, Swipe", as they consider how they'd cope dating in the modern day.
Guess who's back, back again!? It's comedian, writer, actor and former vodka luge operative/hostess, Ellie Taylor! She's also a new mum (which is where she's been for some months). She returns with a spring in her step and joyous tales of early motherhood - you definitely won't hear horror stories that involve shower caps and blocked toilets. Definitely not.
What goes "PLAT PLAT PLAT PLAT PLAT PLAT" really quickly? No, not a frog running on it's hind legs, but Zoe's worst ever sexual experience. PLUS, the girls rate each others sexy selfie attempts, but which part of Anna resembles a digestive biscuit? Answer inside.
In this episode - and for the first time in recorded history - both Zoe & Anna are left speechless by just two words! No spoilers, but one of those words begins with "p" and ends in "enis". Oh, they're talking sugar daddies/mummies/babies, by the way! Also, ever fancied your best mate's mum? How about one of their siblings? It really does happen, as the girls discover!
Disclaimer: This episode will make you cringe. On the plus side, it could also increase your tolerance of awkward situations! Can you remember when your parents sat you down to talk about the birds and the bees? Maybe you're a parent who's gearing up to have that very chat - there are PLENTY of you, and your stories are golden. Zoe & Anna also talk "sexpectation VS. reality" - how have your experiences (between the sheets) compared to what you've seen in the movies? I mean, no one knocked themselves out on a bedside table in "Throbbin' Hood" and I don't recall an awkward condom moment in "Breast Side Story"... And SURELY no-ones ever defected their marital bed, in a movie or otherwise? Anna? ANNA? Foot note: Aren't porno puns the best? One more? Sure. Saturday Night Beaver. Enjoy.
This week, Zoe & Anna uncover a chest/box/portmanteau full of Mother's Day treasures, and for the first time ever, we hear from Carol (Zoe's Mum) and Lucy (Anna's Mum)! The girls are also joined by queens of clutter, The Style Sisters, who share their quicks tips for your 20 minute spring clean! Don't panic, it's not all floor polish (is that a thing?) and feather dusters - Zoe & Anna also get their teeth into "7 Sex Positions to Kickstart Spring"... Hurray for graphic diagrams!
Roll out the red carpet and make way for mind-master, Paul McKenna, and his heartwarming "lightbulb moment" story. That's where this week's podcast begins, with some absolute tear jerkers from you lot! Zoe & Anna also chat to Sex & Intimacy Coach, Sarah Rose Bright, who shares her top tips for a great sex life... notepads at the ready!
Thankfully, in this episode of the podcast, we are NOT introducing "Anna Whitehouse, hostess with the mostess", because in this case, it would involve a nest of eight legged visitors... EURGH! Instead, we're digging into Zoe & Anna's list of film fantasies and finding out when it is (and isn't) appropriate to give your partner feedback!
Naughty texts and pictures seem to be a recurring theme this week, as Zoe and Anna delve into the world of long distance relationships. With a few Chinese sayings thrown in along the way (no, we don’t know why either…), you’ll hear issues from the week including Anna experiencing serious space invasion on a plane, and Zoe & her husband having a big night out. Plus, the girls ponder how many holes you have, chat about age gaps in relationships, and turn into consultants for listener Mark who’s looking for love with his friend.
Is it true what they say? Do couples that sweat together really stay together? This week’s expert opinion is brought to you from an 800 meter record holder, and someone who’s just started using wine bottles for weights - we’ll let you work out who’s who. Next up, Zoe and Anna are helping you navigate the world of proper code in a couple. Is it ever right to know how many people your partner’s slept with? Should you return any left behind items from ex’s? PLUS, Anna’s gone and got another dodgy beauty treatment and Zoe won’t stop rinsing her #faketanfail
Something that won't be dropping onto Zoe's doormat anytime soon, is her husband's certificate of acceptance into The Hairy Hogs. That's what we find out this week, as the girls tackle 'hobbies! Think that sounds sexy? I raise you hygiene! Let's talk dirty... raisins, honking and sporadic showering all make an appearance. PLUS, an actual conversation expert explains how you can tell your partner they stink, and we stumble upon an un-planned SOCK OFF!
It's more questions than answers in this week's episode of the podcast! Why did Anna's Valentine's Day involve a "rubber foot", which part of Zoe's husband has been enhanced, and how much cream does it take to remove your (new) eyebrows? All revealed inside. Plus, the girls talk to the perfect size 10 and, much to Zoe's delight, we get another "Pizza the Action", courtesy of Anna Whitehouse. Yay. Can't wait. Great feature.
Welcome to episode 25! Because Zoe and Anna are basically married, that means it’s our Silver anniversary, so happy anniversary to us! As a gift, the girls regale us with tales from their younger days, hosting the used car roadshows in Rotherham and reporting on slug pellets (#glam). Not to mention Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, so we’ve got some top tips on how to have a low-key celebration, without breaking the bank. Plus, hear about the couple who are CROWD FUNDING their wedding! Think they’ll raise the funds for Anna's radiator repairs too?
This week it’s all about tales from the humble condom and asking whether it’s ever okay to lie to your partner? Zoe and Anna discover condoms that change colour in contact with STIs, we learn about a man who likes to slip four on in a session, (surely that can’t be healthy?). To help us answer this and more, we brought in our new favourite doctor, Dr. Emeka! Plus there’s another special delivery from our mates at Poundland, and if you don’t wanna splash out on a new toy, Anna’s got all the answers!
If your "first time" didn't involve a lava lamp or clumpy hair wax, then Zoe & Anna probably can't relate! This week, the girls go back beneath the sheets and speak to a 24-year-old virgin, as they explore The Modern Day Lifecycle of Sex. Also, calling all parents, parents-to-be, and nightclub staff... Zoe & Anna talk Social Parenting! Does a picture of your kids count as valid photo ID? What are the telltale signs of parents on the dance floor? These key questions and (many) more in this episode of the podcast!
In this episode, Zoe & Anna tackle this week's (cue Alan Partridge impression) HOT TOPIC... Masculinity! Is there a need for men to change? The girls muscle their way through more opinions than you can shake a meat stick at, and speak to the founder of The Book of Man, Martin Robinson! PLUS, your search history isn't safe with these two! Zoe & Anna reveal what porn women watched in 2018, and discover something surprising when they speak to Journalist (and all round wonderful human), Mark Smith!
This week we’re learning to love the jiggle and embrace the days of the less perkier boob, as well as tackling the oh so erotic topic of the tax return. Zoe and Anna chat to Jess from @thefatfunnyone who tells us sex really is so much better when you have more “cushion for the pushin’”, PLUS sex and relationships expert Dr Pam Spurr throws in her two cents when it comes to deciding ‘to joint back account’ or ‘to not joint bank account’. Oh, and the girls unbox another surprise gift, and let’s just say, it’s not what you’d normally expect from your producer.
If, like Zoe, your dry-January's already gone bottoms up, then the Professor's here to help... and he's naked! That's right, Ben Bidwell's in the studio, introducing Anna to some vomit-inducing techniques that could enhance her marriage! Plus, when two become three... The girls find out what it takes to turn a couple into a throuple, as they count down the top sex trends of 2019! Oh, and find out what a pulsating ‘rock ring’ is.
Zoe and Anna are joined by special guest Giovanna Fletcher to chat about opening gifts of sexy lingerie in front of your parents and how on earth more babies are conceived over the festive season when there’s so much to do and so many family members to look after or entertain. The functional ‘in and out’ seems like the best way to go. Zoe and Anna find a survey about a ‘typical’ Christmas day and Ellie calls in to talk about maternity leave and the pros and cons of putting her new daughter in the bin. Finally, it may be a time for giving, but it’s also a time for getting irritated by your family, so Zoe and Anna examine the top ten reasons for festive bickering, leading to stories of unwrapping anxiety and face-planting trifle. HAPPY CHRISTMAS!
The one and only Jilly Cooper recently revealed her top tips for hosting a Christmas party. Naturally, they are fabulous. Zoe and Anna dissect Jilly’s hosting rules and throw in a few of their own. Bowl food, aggressive cornichon offerings and yellow food are all on the menu. The conversation turns to another festive staple: the school nativity play. Anna goes method in her portrayal of the donkey, Zoe has stage fright as Lady Macbeth and an inflatable sex toy makes an unwelcome appearance.
The image of a fabulously-dressed Beyoncé performing onstage with a casually-dressed Ed Sheeran led Zoe and Anna to chat about different expectations of the effort men and women should put into their appearance. Are you all about power dressing and plumage or is your look more ‘Day 2 of Freshers’ Week’? Plus, the news that Jack and Dani from Love Island might have split has shaken Anna to the core because she’s financially invested in the couple. Anna and Zoe share their tried-and-tested methods of dealing with breakups, which range from duvets and Dawson’s Creek music to the ‘get under to get over’ mantra. There are plenty of top tips for getting over an ex, including chicken nuggets, Bentleys and rage-based workouts. Podcast extras include Dave the Cat, Douglas the Dog and hoovering up small pets.
The recent debate about David Beckham giving his daughter a peck on the lips leads Zoe and Anna to discuss the difference between slug kisses and snail kisses. This leads to the broader subject of public displays of affection with your other half, from clenching buttocks to full-on snogs. Are you a limpet on a rock, or are you a trophy? Do PDAs make you promiscuous or a player? And what word does Anna hate more than ‘player’? That’ll be ‘jiggy’, and that word is mentioned a fair bit as Zoe and Anna chat about the things people think about before sex. It’s all about the Big O (Ovaltine), not dirty talk. Other topics discussed include nightmarish trips to Santa’s Grotto, road rage at the school gates and how sandwiches can lead to accidents.
Zoe and Anna are intrigued by a new survey that explores the effects social media has on our relationships. Are #couplegoals affecting our self-esteem? And how does this lead to a conversation about fancy cupboards and a love of pickles? Also, a story caught Anna’s eye this week involving yarn and a tetchy relationship between a mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law. Zoe and Anna share tips about surviving the festive season with the in-laws, and for some reason, the discussion involves fat-shaming, Ryvita and shouty games.
An incident on a crowded train last week leads Zoe and Anna to work out what they would and wouldn’t do in front of their partners. Flatulent husbands, toothbrush sharing, Frederique the chin hair and wearing vests are all under the spotlight. Plus, what are your first memories of sex education? For Zoe and Anna, it’s all about condoms on bananas at school, but their parents had very different approaches to talking about ‘it’.
Dr Alex popped into the studio and Anna couldn’t resist flirting with her (and her mum’s) favourite Love Island contestant. Cheesy chat up lines, first snogs and sex nooks all feature, along with Alex’s experiences in a villa filled with 280 cameras. And after Zoe’s friend admitted she and her husband don’t have much sex any more, the girls share their top tips about spicing up long-term relationships, from sex on a window ledge (remember: if Brian the neighbour can see you, go for it!) to crumbs and penis-shaped toast.
It’s Zoe Hardman’s first show sitting in for Ellie who’s on maternity leave, so she comes armed with biscuits. And issues. First up, the business of beauty, so the conversation turns to things falling off your face, hair extensions called Boris, Jackson Pollock paintings and looking like one of the Muppets. Also, Zoe had quite the experience in the supermarket when she saw vibrators on the shelves. Yes, you can buy bullets for less than four salmon fillets! This naturally leads to discussion about sex toy etiquette, nipple tassles and dildo shaming. Will Anna follow Zoe into the red room?!
It’s Ellie’s last show before she heads off to “squirt out a baby” (her words) so Anna throws Ellie a baby shower. Guests include midwife Clemmie Hooper AKA ‘Mother of Daughters’ to answer all the tough questions about giving birth, like can Ellie bring a hairdryer and hair straighteners into the hospital, and Matt Coyne, author of ‘Man vs Baby’, joins the party to share a traumatic tale about getting stuck in a soft play centre. Conversation turns to flexible working and championing the 4-day week, and Zoe Hardman also pops into the studio. She’ll be keeping the seat warm for Ellie while she’s off on maternity leave, so not only does Zoe offer Ellie tips about raising a small human, but more importantly, Ellie shares advice about hosting a show with Anna.
It’s coming up to Christmas, so ‘tis the season to split up with your partner to avoid buying presents for people you don’t care about any more. Eggnogs all round! A recent survey claims that breakup sex isn’t actually a bad thing. Ellie agrees. Anna doesn’t. They look at the positive side of breakups, and for some reason pineapple on pizza, GILFs and the Bible all crop up. And seeing as this is Ellie’s penultimate show before she heads off on maternity leave, the conversation turns to work departures, disappointing leaving gifts and fart machines.
One of the biggest stories in the papers this week leads Ellie and Anna to discuss bad birthdays. Cue food poisoning, getting sacked and proposing to chicken nuggets. Anna admits to forgetting her husband’s birthday last week – but it’s his fault he didn’t remind her, RIGHT?! Also, a recent survey revealed that 92% of Brits believe they’ve failed to reach their full potential in work, finance, relationships and home life. Oh dear. Ellie and Anna decide to combat this by celebrating the small victories in life, from losing (and finding) a bag to eating peanut butter like yoghurt.
Apparently 57% of us read erotic novels. Anna’s a big fan of grotty fiction but for Ellie, the subject brings back memories of her parents finding a ‘saucy book’ under her Simba toy. What other dirty little secrets have been found by family members, and how did they react? The girls turn from Penis Grigio to booze, or rather the lack of it: Ellie’s embraced her sober pregnant self but has developed a new addiction. For cereal. Thoughts turn to party bag rampages, duck bones, and plate licking.
According to a recent survey about online dating, men are 30% more likely to make the first move. Anna and Ellie discuss their limited experience of online dating and ask listeners to share their weirdest stories. Who knew humping a toilet roll was a way to woo? Also, Ellie’s getting ready to meet her NCT group this week and wants to make a good impression with her fellow parents-to-be. How can she endear herself to them? Will her classic friendship pick-up line ‘can I help you find your snorkel’ work? Bosom nuzzling, dumplings and laminated lists all feature here, and Anna’s attempt at making a celebrity BFF falls at the first hurdle.
Following the news that Richard Gere’s going to be a father at the age of 69, ‘geriatric mothers’ Ellie and Anna consider the dos and don’ts of growing old gracefully - or disgracefully – and wonder whether they’re in ageing denial. Plus it was the Emmy Awards this week, so Ellie would just like to thank her thermal vest on the red carpet, Anna puts her winning instinct down to her dad holding a gun against her back (not literally) and an apology is long overdue for the Duke of Edinburgh.
Ellie and Anna share their memories of when they first met – it involved baby poo – and discuss the art of making a good first impression, from spitting out water on a Mary Berry lookalike, extended eye contact and an irrational dislike of sequin hairbands. Plus, after Mark Walhberg shared his gruelling personal routine online, Ellie and Anna work out whether they have enough snack time on a day-to-day basis.
Anna was in quite a flap this week after she had a close shave – literally – and ended up in A&E, so the two discuss the perils of personal grooming. Prepare to be glued to your knickers. Also, Ellie and Anna talk about sexting, and whether they’re any good at it. As you’d expect, this leads to stories of radiator valves, ‘knick knocks’ and helmets of the motorcycle variety.
It’s Scroll Free September so Ellie and Anna try to figure out whether they could give up social media for a month and live without videos of slime, blackhead popping and soap carving. Plus, the X Factor’s back which means a) it’s nearly Christmas and b) Ellie wonders if she and her husband could work together like Robbie and Ayda. She turns to Anna for advice…..and Anna’s husband Matt. Who works with Anna.
Ellie and Anna had their first Public Engagement this week! They went to the Heart office party and managed to behave themselves, but it brought back memories for Anna of when she once did the walk of shame into the office and Ellie remembered trying it on with Josh Hartnett at a work do. Work nights out can be difficult to navigate! There’s also a new survey telling men what women find attractive. Beards, extreme sports and red trousers ahoy!
Ellie’s preggers! Ellie and Anna discuss the weird and wonderful reactions you get when you tell the world that you’re pregnant. Why is it so awkward and why does it compel friends and family to say the stupidest things? There’s also a theory that bragging on social media is actually good for you.