The Real Weird Sisters: A Harry Potter Podcast

Well done, Dragon! Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim have made it through the first hour of Goblet of Fire... oooOOOhhhh! Harry fights the Horntail (what's that, boy??), Krum fights Rita, and Alice fights to understand perspective and time jumps!  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha enter a world which is entirely E.B. White's own, which may or may not be a good thing. Is Stuart a mouse or not? What ever happened to Margolo? And what exactly were the publishers thinking? Stuart Little is quite the canoe ride and is nothing like the sisters remembered. In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week, and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice, Martha, and Jim Dale are back to finish discussing Neville. In the seventh book, Neville becomes--there's no other word for it--cool. As usual, this is obvious to readers through his long hair, his casual demeanor, and his habit of calling people by the first syllable of their name. Neville's arc is one of the best of the series, and Alice and Martha do take a break from mocking him to praise his final moments. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Neville's arc continues in the sixth book, though perhaps not quite as gracefully as readers might hope - there's still plenty of falling on his back, hitting his head, and of course, lighting his own pants on fire! Though Dean might still find him hilarious, Harry, Augusta, and McGonagall seem to view Neville with a newfound respect. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

I dink it's time for our fifth Neville character study, in fact I'b sure id is! After Christmas on the closed ward, Neville takes an "alarming" and "unnerving" turn as he becomes a master dueler, which he shows off at the Department of Mysteries -- a completely error-free enterprise on Neville and all the DA teens' behalf. This episode covers Neville's arc in the second half of Order of the Phoenix.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time for Neville Part 4, which of course covers Neville in the first half of the fifth book! Alice and Martha discuss his amazing birthday present, a potential new nickname, and the turning point for his character arc in this week's episode. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha pick up their conversation on Neville from several years ago, this time, hopefully, without repeating any content! In the fourth book, Neville continues his arc as the class dunce and is often the butt of the narrator's jokes. But with the revelation about what happened to his parents, Harry and readers begin to see Neville in a new light. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time to break down everyone's favorite dynamic duo of professors! With help from the Wiki, Alice and Martha speculate on whether old Griselda Marchbanks is really a close friend of the Malfoys, how old Professor Tofty really is, and what these two legendary proctors do for the rest of the school year. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha dive into Make Way for Ducklings by Robert McCloskey. This super cute picture book includes some yaasss queen moments, a deadbeat dad, and some questionable duck-feeding tips. In any case, it's not The Borrowers... and that's for the best! In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week, and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Mike NeWELL, it's time for another Take Five! Special guest Shut Up Tim joins the sisters to discuss Moody's transfiguration tactics and tongue antics. Find out which sister scares Tim more, and listen for a first on the Quora Question of the Week segment! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss Grawp, Hagrid's absolutely miniscule younger brother. From his special bond with Hermy to his role in the Battle of Hogwarts, Grawp's amazing arc in the series provides plenty of conversation fodder! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Chappell (@Chappells_Show), and the Sorting Beret to sort the contestants of the second season of The Traitors US into Hogwarts houses.Be aware that the show contains spoilers from The Traitors US, original shows of the contestants, and the Harry Potter series.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha review Mrs. Piggle Wiggle by the highly memorable Betty MacDonald. Mid-century kids misbehaving and being disciplined... what could go wrong? In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week, and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice, Martha and special guest Shut Up Tim are back for another Take Five! Find out what significant figures, Willem Dafoe, and teenage tragedy have to do with this week's five minutes. Just don't ask Hermione to deliver any messages, because she's NOT an owl... cut to the fire! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha resume inferring things about tiny little Professor Flitwick. Find out why he wasn't a member of the Order, what was really going on with dear old Pomona, and whether or not Charms really is a soft option on this week's character study! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Without much source material to go off of, Alice and Martha are left to make a lot of interferences about this week's character, Filius Flitwick! Luckily, the Wiki seems to have a lot of information about this tiny little miniature professor as well. Pour yourself a Shirley Temple (with umbrella, of course!), smack your lips together, and enjoy Flitwick's robust arc in the first three books! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this podcast (a word which here means "a recorded discussion between two real weird sisters"), Alice and Martha delve into The Bad Beginning, the first book of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week, and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss Cho, Cho from Harry's point of view, and Cho from Hermione's point of view on this week's episode. From really good Quidditch player to the person Cedric would miss most, to the human hosepipe, Cho goes through a lot during her time at Hogwarts. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

As 2023 comes to a close, we are back to celebrate the holiday season Potter-style. First, Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Shandy to speculate about how Wizarding World characters would act at an "office" holiday party. Up second (00:40:55), the sisters Take Five on Christmas classic Fred Claus, with special guest Shut Up Tim (@ShutUpTim). And finally (01:39:55), special guest Gia Worthy (@classicallygia) joins the show to assist in sorting the cast of Big Brother Reindeer Games! Special thanks and credit to the listeners who submitted musical numbers. In order of appearance: "Real Weird Queens" -Zoe"Poor Queen Hedwig" -Gibson"Lily Did You Know" -Amy and LukeThank you so much for listening to the show. We wish you a wonderful holiday season!If you enjoyed today’s show, please consider supporting us on Patreon (www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters)!

Alice and Martha reminisce on Mary Pope Osborne's hit children's series, Magic Tree House, in which Jack and Annie stumble across a treehouse filled with books (both old AND new), and enter a world which is entirely their own, book after book after book after book! In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week, and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Believe it or not, Alice and Martha manage to fit Phineas Nigellus Black's entire character arc into one podcast! The thin, reedy voice comes out more than a few times, as well as the voices of many of the old headmasters, who, by the way, are honor-bound to serve the current headmaster! So, pull up a chair, put a painting in it to make it feel like you have company, and enjoy this week's character study!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are back to discuss another five minutes of Mike Newell's cinematic masterpiece! These five minutes are heavy on Sirius, birds (finally!) and amazing acting by Harry (as usual). Plus, the world goes topsy-turvy when it comes time for all the segments! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are back to discuss Mike Newell's most unhinged five minutes yet. McGonagall proves to be the only sane adult in the room, as well as possibly the only good actor in the five minutes. Plus, Harry and Ron get into a very convincing fight and Tim picks a highly predictable Classic Owlice moment. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha enjoy their privilege as first and second children as they discuss Margaret Peterson Haddix's twisty thrill ride, Among the Hidden. This top secret podcast can be found on "The Net"... and the super secret password is free. In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week, and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha gather to properly eulogize Professor McGonagall, although luckily, her body doesn't end up lying next to the Creevey brothers in the Great Hall. What's more, she doesn't seem to be Hogwarts Headmistress 19 years later, saving us all a massive eye roll. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss McGonagall in the penultimate book, as she helps verify timetables and performs some very cool magic, reprimands Malfoy (to Snape's irritation?) and steps into the role of deputy headmistress. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Harry and Professor McGonagall bond over a shared enemy as Umbridge enters the series. Have a biscuit and settle in to listen to Alice and Martha's analysis of McGonagall's arc in the fifth book! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss Professor McGonagall in one of her most stressful books yet, as she tries to make sure her students don't embarrass her in front of Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. Luckily, she still has a chance to, er, let her hair down at the Yule Ball! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are on "barrier watch" again this week as Professor McGonagall takes on the important new role of blocking Harry from going to Hogsmeade and confiscating his Firebolt. Plus, with the introduction of her rival, "Sybill Trelawney," McGonagall once again shows her quick wit and sharp tongue. Just wait til we tell Buckbeak!! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha resume their study on Queen McGonagall. While her main role in Chamber of Secrets may be to deliver bad news to the students and respond to basilisk attacks, no one can deny she does it in style! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's a good thing this isn't the 19th episode of Into the Pensieve, or it wouldn't exist! This week, Alice and Martha climb thirty flights of stairs to discuss the world's strangest class of kids.In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week, and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are once again joined by special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss the next five minutes of a very Newell-that-just-happened five minutes. Fred and George have one of their characteristic brawls, Krum and Hermione share in some intense eye contact, and Dumbledore begins his evolution into the DIDYOUPUTYOURNAMEINTHEGOBLETOFFIRE Dumbledore that we'll be seeing before we know it! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The time for fun and games has come to an end as Alice and Martha conclude their discussion on Queen Hedwig and she flies off into the sunset. Though Hedwig faces some horrible trials in the fifth, sixth, and seventh books, she gets a brief reprieve when she comes face to face with another powerfully magic woman, Queen GP! Ultimately, though, nothing could save Hedwig from an awful fate (there was just no other way for her to leave Privet Drive...), and it's time to finally properly eulogize her. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Heh! Hooooot!! Alice and Martha are excited to continue their discussion of Real Weird Queen Hedwig. Though Harry is awfully rude to her numerous times throughout the fourth and fifth books, Hedwig doesn't stand for disrespect, even from "The Chosen One." And don't worry, it's not time to properly eulogize her yet; this week is all hoots, nibbles, and pecks! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

After all this time... Alice and Martha finally get the chance to honor Queen Hedwig! Reproachful glances and helpful nibbles abound on this week's legendary character study! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha wish that you would listen to this podcast about Edward Eager's Half Magic. They wish it twice! While they may not be the biggest fans of the Knights of the Round Table or "the charm," the sisters are big fans of Uncle Huge and FitzCarrie, and Martha is a big fan of Martha, even when she's only half there.In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week, and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Shut Up Tim makes yet another guest appearance on this week's Take Five, covering Moody's questionable teaching methods, a hilarious slapstick montage, and some hard-hitting symbolism in the Hogwarts windows. And if you think an Aging Potion is going to be enough to allow the Weasley twins to enter their names into the Goblet of Fire... well, it's not going to woooo-oooork! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Would you like us to clean out your ears for you? We weren't about to weasel out of discussing "Smith," even if he is suffering from a bad case of Loser's Lurgy. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

There's plenty of competition for the Mike Newell That Just Happened moment in this five minutes, and from Flitwick's choice of meal to Alice's classroom management style, there's plenty for the two official sisters and special guest Shut Up Tim to analyze this week! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha - AKA Fern and Templeton - discuss one of their all-time favorite children's books, Charlotte's Web by E.B. White. In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week, and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Rounding out the discussion on (but unfortunately, not eulogizing) Umbridge, Alice and Martha analyze Umbridge in the sixth and seventh books. The "Selwyn descendent's" audacity and cruelty peak in these books, as she leads the Muggle Born Registration Commission with disturbing vigor. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time for Part 3 of our Umbridge series! Filch may think his dreams have come true with Umbridge as the head of the school, but Fred, George, Peeves, and the rest of the troublemakers in training give the ultimate dictator a run for her money in the form of fireworks, stinkbombs, swamps, and "Umbridge-itis." Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In what might be the best five minutes of the movie so far (despite some stiff competition), Harry and the gang arrive at Hogwarts and are joined by the acrobats of Durmstrang and the lovely ladies of Beauxbatons! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Our second Umbridge character study covers her reign of power as Hogwarts High Inquisitor, from blocking meetings of the DA, Gryffindor Quidditch team, and Gobstones Club to sacking Trelawney and shaking Marietta violently. Percy was right, she really is a delightful woman.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Hem, hem! Thus begins our series on the most supremely obnoxious and infuriating character of the Harry Potter universe. Progress for progress's sake may be prohibited, and there's a lot of meaning hidden in the waffle... Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss the Wunderkind Matilda and her sweet (albeit nerdy) teacher / best friend Miss Honey in this week's Into the Pensieve episode. In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week, and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are once again joined by not-so-special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss a riveting five minutes of Mike Newell's almost-magnum opus.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's Luna's final episode, so we've donned our sun colors and prepared the pudding to celebrate! Luna's seventh book arc includes new friendships with Mr. Ollivander and Dean, helping Harry through some tough emotional moments, and a possible case of the Gernumblies. In any case, Luna ought to have enough Plimpies soon...Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha dive into Luna's highly complex sixth book arc. Hope you've dyed your eyebrow yellow and donned your spangled silver robes in order to listen to this podcast, as friends! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Find out if you're more of a Crockford or a Purkiss on this week's show, as Alice and Martha begin their deep dive into one of the quirkiest main characters of the series! Luna's arc in the fifth book includes radish earrings (sort of), nargles, the Kacky Snorgle, and much better dialogue than the movie. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

For the first time in Into the Pensieve history, Alice and Martha discuss a book they may not still love as adults, Frindle by Andrew Clements. In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children’s books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Find out Mrs. Figg's real middle name, secret profession, possible relatives, and more from this week's character study! She may not always use the right verbs to describe dementors, but you can't deny - Mrs. Figg's got interior decorating skillz. So get up, you useless lump, and listen to the episode! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this week's Take Five, we resume our Microwave Minute as Harry and his friends (sort of) attend the World Cup. Fudge practices his commentator skills, Malfoy exercises his bragging skills, and Harry LOVES MAGIC! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha dive into the pensieve to discuss literature's most "successful" maid, Amelia Bedelia. She may take things way too literally, but at least she's an amazing baker! In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children’s books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time for Alice and Martha to round out their discussion on the Kreacher from the Black Lagoon! Stick to this episode like a couple of wart plasters and you'll learn everything you need to know about Kreacher in the sixth and seventh books! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

He may be small, but his arc is long enough to warrant a two-parter, if you can believe it! Alice and Martha are joined by Kreacher to discuss his story in the fifth book. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Take Five is back, baby! Let's give our guest, Shut Up Tim, a proper greeting! (Insert frantic tongue waggling here!) Alfonso's magnum opus might be over, but the task he has laid out before us is far from concluded. Mike Newell might just well give him a run for his money! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha dive into the pensieve to discuss Arnold Lobel's masterpiece series, Frog and Toad. In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children’s books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

We got it from mu'dungus (even if we're not quite sure what that means anymore)! It's time to break down the Wizarding World's most noble thief, even if he has been nicking Sirius's stuff! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha dive into the pensieve to discuss one of Judy Blume's first novels, the first book in the Fudge series, Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing!In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children’s books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time to properly eulogize wittle Ginny, wrapping up her story in the seventh book and (unfortunately) nineteen years later, too. Though Ginny isn't with Harry for much of Deathly Hallows, she makes her appearances count. There's the silver lining we've been looking for! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha continue their conversation about widdle Grin, queen of physical comedy and impressions! In the sixth book, Ginny is joined by two important new characters - King Arnold, and Harry's scaly monster. Hopefully this episode will leave you purring, not rearing your ugly head! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha cover Ginny's arc in the fifth book, as she starts to come into her own but continues to be handled with kid gloves by everyone around her. She reveals a love for speaking in codes (as any good DA member does), an emotional maturity beyond her years, and a hidden talent for Quidditch that should have been obvious to her brothers for years. In other words, Ginny does not go quietly in this book! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time to discuss Ginny in Prisoner of Azkaban and Goblet of Fire, two of her most important books! Tune in to see if Alice and Martha can pack in all the mentions into one episode, and stay to hear their analysis of Ginny's reaction to the veela and her ability to bounce back very quickly from her experience in the Chamber of Secrets! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss "Gin's" arc in the first two books. Even if she won't wake and isn't really herself, she still proves why she's Harry's hashtag soulmate. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss Kristy's Great Idea, the first book in the legendary Baby-Sitters Club series by Ann M. Martin. In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha complete their conversation on the MetamorphoSis, from her mouse-brown hair to her whirlwind romance with "Romulus." She has let 'erself go, zat Tonks... Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss Tonks as she makes her series debut. With her signature bubble gum pink hair and pig snout nose, she's always sure to be a laugh... in this book, at least! Whatever you do, don't call her Nymphadora!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss Stan and Jan Berenstain's classic series, focusing on three books that influenced their childhood most - Too Much Junk Food, Get the Gimmes, and Forget their Manners. In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time to wrap up the conversation about Petunia by talking about her arc in the second set of two books and the final one book. Alice and Martha discuss her relationship with Dumbledore, the ending of her story with Harry, and memories from the Pensieve in this final Petunia episode. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

As 2022 comes to a close, we are back to celebrate the holiday season Potter-style. First (00:05:06), Alice and Martha dive into the Pensieve to discuss Chris Van Allsburg's classic picture book The Polar Express with special guest Shandy. Up second (00:48:03), the sisters roll the dice on a White Elephant gift exchange with a very normal assortment of characters. And finally (01:40:05), special guest Haley Strong (@hstrong_) joins the show to assist in a holiday sorting... or should we say a Holiday sorting! Special thanks and credit to the listeners who submitted musical numbers. In order of appearance: "The Seven Days of Take Five" -Gibson"Lily Did You Know" -Grace"Hogwarts Founders Carol" -Miriam"Last Christmas (Reprise)" -Shut Up TimThank you so much for listening to the show. We wish you a wonderful holiday season!If you enjoyed today’s show, please consider supporting us on Patreon (www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters)!

This week, Alice and Martha cover Petunia's storyline in the second set of two books, reviewing her relationship with her sister-in-law and her continued doting on Dudley. Remember the middle of the series, Petunia! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha move to discussing Order of the Phoenix Real Weirdos, unfortunately skipping over the realest weirdo of all (Bungy) due to lack of source material. This week's episode focuses on the world's greatest aunt (no, not "Aunt Figg") in the first two books. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha talk about the first book of Beverly Cleary's Ramona series, discussing ways in which they may or may not be very similar to these two iconic sisters. In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha dive headfirst into the Pensieve to analyze the Prince's tale, along with the rest of Snape's arc in the seventh book. It's time to properly eulogize Sev, one of the bravest men we've ever known.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha finish up their discussion of Snape's arc in the sixth book, from his handling of the Sectumsempra incident to feelin' a bit overworked by Dumbledore. Whatever you do, DON'T call him coward! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The first half of the sixth book has Snape victorious, as he intercepts Tonks's patronus, finally lands his dream job as DADA instructor, and tries his hand at some interior decorating. At this point, Alice and Martha neither like nor dislike Severus.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The Official Real Weird Gamemaster, Shut Up Tim (@ShutUpTim) returns to host the third "annual" Real Weird Hunger Games. Alice, Martha, and special guest Logan B. Adair (@loganBadair) draft teams and compete in a DND-style game featuring the Take Five Real Weirdos. Can Martha finally claim a victory for the characters that *definitely* play authentically as themselves? Be aware that the show may contain spoilers from the Harry Potter series.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's another zero, then, for Potter as he continually messes up in Snape's class and even has to start Remedial Potions. Snape continues to improve his one liners and makes some more questionable decisions as his story continues in the fifth book. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Snape's double agent arc continues seamlessly in the fourth book, as he continues to threaten and mock students like Neville and Hermione (most certainly on Dumbledore's orders). Harry learns of Snape's former Death Eater identity, but we are just not going to go there *again* with suspecting Snape of being the bad guy!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha resume their Snape character studies, this time focusing on his arc in the third book. Remember, anything mean he does can be fully explained by the fact that HE WAS A DOUBLE AGENT WHO WAS IN LOVE WITH LILY! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim close out the Prisoner of Azkaban Take Five series with an in depth conversation about the freeze frame and the credits, followed by all your favorite segments, including an extra special Take Five! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss the first picture book of the Into the Pensieve series. Hear about all of the ways Sylvester impacted Martha's childhood, from new vocab words to birthday party themes! In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Was he truly the most loyal Death Eater? Did dementors change significantly over the course of the series? Didn't we cover this in a previous episode? Alice and Martha answer all the most pressing questions surrounding JUNIOR's full story for the very first time (believe it or not) in this week's character study. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss the Junie B. Jones series by Barbara Park in the third Into the Pensieve episode. For in memories, we enter a world which is entirely our own... In this new series, Alice and Martha will reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In the penultimate Take Five episode on Alfonso's magnum opus, Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim discuss the almost-final five minutes of Prisoner of Azkaban. Michael Gambon shines (no, really), the Whomping Willow takes another victim, and the Hogwarts ghosts have a final hurrah. Don't worry- there's still plenty to discuss in the final Take Five! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha conclude their discussion of the Pillsbury Doe Girl, including a refresher on where her iconic nickname originated. Most of this episode centers around the Prince's Tale memories of Lily, with a few short scenes from the end of Deathly Hallows to conclude Lily's extremely 3D arc. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Leandra for a Back to School extravaganza! Alice, Martha, and Leandra rank some of Hogwarts' more questionable policies, sort Harry's professors into their teaching type, and compare wizarding school subjects to those in the muggle world.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss the Pillsbury Doe Girl's "arc" in the first seven books, up until the Prince's Tale memories. From her charitable modeling career to her apparently unnecessary death, Lily comes out smelling like a rose in just about everything she does! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

This week's five minutes feature Harry and Sirius almost dying as Harry waits for his father to show up, Hermione demonstrating an impressive mastery of BOMBARDA! and an underrated reprise of "Heh! Whooooo!!" Plus, Alice and Martha suffer another embarrassing Movia Trivia moment. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In the second Into the Pensieve episode (well, technically the first *official* Into the Pensieve episode), Alice and Martha discuss Holes by Louis Sachar. In this new series, Alice and Martha will reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats.We are requesting listener feedback on this new episode format as well as suggestions for a title for the series! Reach out on Twitter (@realweirdsister), Instagram (@realweirdsisterspod), or Facebook (facebook.com/realweirdsisters) with suggestions.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Harry and Hermione continue their time travel, running through the woods and performing uncanny werewolf impersonations. As usual, Alice, Martha, and frequent guest Shut Up Tim find plenty to discuss for these five minutes. In other words, you'll find no small Take Fives here, professor! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

There's lots to discuss as Alice and Martha dive into Wormtail's arc in the fifth, sixth, and seventh books! Kick back and enjoy some elf-made wine in our final Wormtail character study.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss one of the most sympathetic, charismatic, and charming characters of the series, Wormtail. It's honestly hard to believe he hadn't received the Real Weirdo until now! Not to be confused with our Scabbers episode, this character study discusses Peter Pettigrew's arc in the third and fourth books. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha take a break from their usual topic of discussion to explore another influential book series from their childhood, The Boxcar Children by Gertrude Chandler Warner. In this new series, Alice and Martha will reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children's books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats.We are requesting listener feedback on this new episode format as well as suggestions for a title for the series! Reach out on Twitter (@realweirdsister), Instagram (@realweirdsisterspod), or Facebook (facebook.com/realweirdsisters) with suggestions.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice, Martha, and recurring guest Shut Up Tim discuss a riveting five minutes of Alfonso's magnum opus. There are lots of questions and surprises in these five minutes. Where did Hermione get all those ferrets from? Why does that little fossil rock have to look like that? And has Martha had a change of heart about Michael Gambon????Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time to talk about the Spare, whose arc is unfortunately far too short!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha round out close to fifteen hours on everyone's favorite headmaster. The proper eulogy may already be complete, but there's still plenty to talk about Dumbledore postmortem! This week's discussion includes dissection of the Pillsbury Doe Girl's letter to Snuffles, and pedagogical advice that Dumbledore could have benefitted from adopting. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are joined once again by their friend and recurring guest, Shut Up Tim, to discuss the top five Michael Gambon moments in this mysterious, honest, and true five minutes. Shoutout to Googy Gress, Stan Lee, and James Cromwell!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guests Gia Worthy (@classicallygia), Sarah Carradine (@sarahcarradine), and the Sorting Buff to sort the contestants of Survivor 42 into Hogwarts houses.Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both Survivor 42 and the Harry Potter series.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha finally get the chance to properly eulogize Dumbledore, but don’t worry — our Dumbledore character studies aren’t over yet! My, how the turntables...Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha pursue that flighty teptress, Dumbledore, discussing his arc in the sixth book up until Harry procures the absolutely crucial horcrux memory from Slughorn. This definitely includes a lengthy discussion of the most canonically accurate subway station hottie, too! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha resume their discussion of Dumbledore in the fifth book, this time focusing on his relationship with the Ministry of Magic and his role in the Wizarding War. Our feedback survey is now live! Please visit realweirdsisters.com/feedback to give us your thoughts as we enter our seventh year of the podcast! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss Dumbledore's relationship (or lack thereof) with Harry in the fifth book, and will pick up with Dumbledore's relationship (or lack thereof) with the Ministry and his role in the Wizarding War next week! Our feedback survey is now live! Please visit realweirdsisters.com/feedback to give us your thoughts as we enter our seventh year of the podcast! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

There might not be much dialogue in these five minutes, but what dialogue there is is absolutely brilliant (good doggie... good doggie!!). Alice, Martha, and returning guest Shut Up Tim discuss the rat, the werewolf, and a surprising reference from an incredibly obscure band. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss Dumbledore's arc in the fourth book, from his many speeches to his rage-filled rant when he finds out Harry put his name in the Goblet of Fire! Our feedback survey is now live! Please visit realweirdsisters.com/feedback to give us your thoughts as we enter our seventh year of the podcast! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's back to the character who started it all, Dumbledore! In part 3, Alice and Martha discuss a new dementor litmus test and try their best to separate Book Dumbledore from Michael Gambon. You may not like him... but you can't deny, Dumbledore's got style! Our feedback survey is now live! Please visit realweirdsisters.com/feedback to give us your thoughts as we enter our seventh year of the podcast! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The twentieth Take 5 features a returning guest (Shut Up Tim), the end of the microwave minutes, and a new theme song! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha gather to properly eulogize Fred... but first, there's a whole world of ear-related humor to get through! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Pull out your Extendable Ears or clean out your own with a long, lethal instrument, and get ready for part three of the Fred and George character study! Alice and Martha discuss the twins in the fifth book! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

April Fool's jokes abound in this latest Take Five, which features Sirius tempted to commit murder and an MVB who is about to run along and play with his chemistry set. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha resume their conversation about Gred and Forge, this time picking up in the fourth book. From their HILARIOUS fake wand to their super-responsible Ton Tongue Toffee testing, it's easy to see why the twins' business begins to take off in this book! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Faye Collyer for an introductory Astrology lesson, learning about their own charts as well as aligning the twelve signs with the four Hogwarts houses and discussing Harry Potter characters' astrological signs and how they fit with their personalities in the series! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Real Weird Sisters Alice and Martha are joined by Real Weird Guest Shut Up Tim to tackle another five minutes of Prisoner of Azkaban. These five minutes feature Bucky's "execution," some good old fashioned Whomping by everyone's favorite Willow, and another sighting of the infamous Egg Creature. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss another morally gray character, Barty Crouch... SENIOR... and uncover several important, groundbreaking plot holes that throw the whole series into question! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha welcome Real Weird Recurring Guest Shut Up Tim back for another Take Five episode, this time introducing a VERY important new character! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Join the Real Weird Sisters and PLEASE STAND UP for our Real Weird QUEEN! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time to break down another five minutes of Prisoner of Azkaban! This week's episode is full of cutting burns from the marauders, some awkward Lupin moments, and not a whole lot else... but don't worry, the sisters and special guest still find plenty to discuss! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss another pair of real weird sisters. It can be assumed that this character study will be one of the top five double character studies of all time! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Join official sisters Alice and Martha and special guest Shut Up Tim as they discuss the fifteenth section of Alfonso's magnum opus! Harry fights off "one nasty dementor" with a memory that's not really a memory, Hagrid skips rocks, and the spiders force Ron to tap dance in this five minute segment, which is definitely exactly five minutes, no more, no less. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha gather to properly eulogize Dobby. But don't worry, it's not all sad... there's also a chance for three of Martha's most notorious impressions to gather together in one room. This is one Elf Tale you won't want to miss! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Official sisters Alice and Martha discuss the iconic "HE WAS THEIR FRIEND!" scene with recurring guest Shut Up Tim. There's plenty to pick apart in these five minutes, from the choppy editing of the Peter Pettigrew story to Harry's inability to run under the Invisibility Cloak without knocking into everything in his path. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss the many mysteries surrounding Karkaroff: how exactly did he rise to his role of headmaster? Was he perhaps once a student at dear old Hogwarts? And why exactly does Alice think she can do a Moody impression? Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Take Five is back, along with all your favorite Take Five segments! Alice, Martha, and recurring guest Shut Up Tim analyze the thirteenth five minutes of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, which includes plenty of (fake) snow and a trip to Hogsmeade. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha round out their discussion of Hagrid, analyzing his arc in the seventh book as he flies Harry away from Privet Drive, crunches up some chairs at the Weasley wedding, and is bullied by Tom Riddle for the last time. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The sixth book sees Hagrid as he reunites with Buckb-- er, Witherwings, makes a new "friend" in Slughorn, and is forced to say goodbye to two of his oldest companions, Aragog and Dumbledore. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

As 2021 comes to a close, we are back to celebrate the holiday season Potter-style. First (00:04:03), Alice and Martha rank popular holiday songs and imagine a magical karaoke party / holiday album with music guru Aman Adwin (@AmanAdwin). Up second (01:00:00), the sisters compete in a rematch of last year's holiday game show, hosted by the Real Weird Husband / Brother-In-Law, Paul Asleson (@paulasleson). And finally (01:43:00), it just wouldn't be a Real Weird Holiday Special without an appearance from the official Real Weird Recurring Guest of the show, so Alice and Martha are joined by Shut Up Tim (@ShutUpTim) for an abbreviated Take Five of the Christmas scene in the first movie. Special thanks and credit to the listeners who submitted musical numbers. In order of appearance: "Have a Very Harry Christmas" -Kanna"All I Want for Christmas is to Avada Kedavra You" -Rohit"Snape December" -Emily"Tim's Song" -Harrison "Last Christmas (Reprise)" -Shut Up Tim "Hedwig the Pretty White Owl" -GibsonThank you so much for listening to the show. We wish you a wonderful holiday season!If you enjoyed today’s show, please consider supporting us on Patreon (www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters)!

Alice and Martha are back to talk about our biggest friend--any guesses who that might be?? In the fifth book, Hagger endures more than the normal bumps an' bruises of his rough job, as he takes on teaching his little brother English, becomes one of Umbridge's main targets, and tangles with the centaurs in the Forbidden Forest.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time ter resume the Hagrid character studies! Don your hairiest brown suit, a yellow and orange checked tie, plenty of axle grease, and eau de cologne, and settle in to hear about Hagrid's arc in the fourth book. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guests Gia Worthy (@classicallygia), Sarah Carradine (@sarahcarradine), and the Sorting Buff to sort the contestants of Survivor 41 into Hogwarts houses.Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both Survivor 41 (through episode 11) and the Harry Potter series.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

CHARACTER STUDY: LUDOVIC BAGMAN! It's a pretty safe *bet* that you will enjoy this week's episode, as Alice and Martha analyze Bagman's motivations, relationship with Barty Crouch Sr., and the major conflict of interest in his role as a Triwizard Tournament judge. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss Olympe, a fine, well-dressed woman who's not afraid of roughin' it. From insisting on treating the Beauxbatons horses like royalty to ensuring 'Ogwarts does not get two bites at ze apple, Madame Maxime is a force to be reckoned with! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha school recurring guest Shut Up Tim on some important filmmaking secrets, including the importance of perspective and scene transitions, once again shedding a light Alfonso's brilliant, dark, twisted direction in the twelfth five minutes of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Spoiler alert: Mad-Eye's dead. So of course now it's time to properly eulogize his gnarled corpse. Alice and Martha discuss the real Mad-Eye in the fifth, sixth, and seventh books, where he turns out to be even gruffer and more socially awkward than the imposter Moody. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Oh no you don't, laddie!! It's time for Alice and Martha to discuss all things Moody in the fourth book, and some things Barty Crouch, JUNIOR (though this is not a Barty Crouch character study). From his x-ray vision to his penchant for pushing the boundaries of what's appropriate to teach high school students, it's really a wonder that he made it through an entire school year at Hogwarts. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

This week, Alice, Martha, and returning guest Shut Up Tim enter a world that is entirely their own as they discuss the eleventh five minutes of Alfonso's magnum opus. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The cards never lie, and our reading shows that this week's character study is not to be missed! Alice and Martha discuss Trelawney's arc in the fifth, sixth, and seventh books (with heavy emphasis on her extensive seventh book arc). Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

This week's Take Five is all about that infamous bridge scene, with the added bonus of plenty of impressions from Martha and a Movia Trivia segment that will live in RWS infamy. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The Real Weird Sisters are back to discuss a second set of Real Weird Brothers in the Harry Potter series. From attempting to deliver the infamous bunch of grapes to Harry in the second book, to the tiny corpses lying side by side in the Great Hall in the seventh book, the Creevey brothers' legacy in the fight against Lord Voldemort is second only to their legacy of providing running jokes to the podcast over the years.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Chappell (@Chappells_Show) and the Sorting Blanket to sort the characters of Big Brother (season 23) into Hogwarts houses.Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both the Big Brother series and the Harry Potter series.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are back for another riddikulus Take Five episode! This five minutes is spent on pretty much one scene, but there's still plenty to talk about, as usual! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's finally time to "properly eulogize" Draco, as Alice and Martha round out their discussion of his arc in the seventh book. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Watch where you're sticking those pins, come over to the right side, and listen to our character study on Draco Malfoy in the sixth book! As seven-year-old Martha would say, Draco comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb in this one. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Draco reverts back to his early-series-villain-self in the fifth book, taking his antagonism to new lows as he scripts highly creative lyrics, tries out many different angles to try to provoke Harry, and revels in his roles as a prefect and on the Inquisitorial Squad.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

OH NO YOU DON'T, LADDIE! It's time for Draco's arc in the fourth book! From his short but glorious experience as a ferret to his love of Blast-Ended Skrewts, Draco provides some comic relief in this book, but his storyline also begins to take a darker turn as we head into the latter half of the series. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

This podcast has gone to the dogs as Alice and Martha analyze Draco in the third book. It might not be a Madam Hooch character study, but there's still plenty of Quidditch talk - we've never seen such tactics!! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode

HEH! WOOOOO!!! It's time for another joyride through Alfonso's magnum opus. Returning guest Shut Up Tim is back, and so is Bem, back with another gloomy warning. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Allison Serafin Steere for an introductory Herbology lesson, complete with an overview of the major magical plants of the series, their connections to the muggle world, and an official plant ranking. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss everyone's favorite supermom, Molly Weasley, and her arc in the last four books. Molly may have many rivalries in these four books - Sirius, Fleur, Hermione, and Bellatrix to name a few - but her role as the Tonksfidant is far more significant. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode

Recurring guest Shut Up Tim returns to once again attempt to shed light on the way Alfonso's beautiful, dark twisted mind works. In this five minutes, Harry attends Divination and Care of Magical Creatures, though we're not quite yet to HEH! WOOO! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha round out their conversation about Hermione, discussing her arc in the seventh book. With the infamous beaded bag and her quick thinking in numerous sticky situations, we can all agree that Hermione is largely responsible for getting Harry out of this book alive. After all, she's highly logical, which allows her to look past extraneous details, to see clearly that which others overlook! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha continue their study of Hermione, who (believe it or not) is the best student in Harry's year, this time focusing on her arc in the sixth book.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are back to continue their discussion of Hermione, covering her arc in the fifth book. You might remember this as the book when Hermy stands up to Umbridge by forming Dumbledore's Army, but more importantly, she learns to knit and becomes one of the few brave enough to say Voldemort's name. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha kick off the remainder of their series about Herm-oh-ninny, with Part 3 very logically covering Book 4. This is going to be a bit of a marathon, so make sure to pace yourselves or you may wind up clutching a stitch in your side! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Recurring guest Shut Up Tim returns for the next five minutes of Alfonso's magnum opus, in which the trio gets settled at Hogwarts for the year. Michael Gambon gives a foreboding speech, the new Fat Lady makes her first appearance, and Harry makes the mistake of eating one of *those* candies. There's also a very obvious MVB and our first sighting of Professor Trelawney. Good luck, Professor. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

There's more than enough to talk about with this groundbreaking double character study! Archie and Hassan Mostafa have lots in common, from their interesting Harry Potter Wiki pages to their their ability to make Hermione giggle. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The Real Weird Sisters are joined again by recurring guest Shut Up Tim. In addition to analyzing an important five minutes, filled with frog puppets, new "Flitwick," and Alfonso's take on dementors, the official Real Weird Sisters each sample a Take 5 candy bar, and get an important cameo update from a very cool actor. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time to discuss another unique and creative side character, Amos Diggory! From his relationship with his SON! to his rivalry with Harry and his confrontation with Winky, Amos is a fully three-dimensional character (except, of course, when his head is a possible 2-D hologram). Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time for the next five minutes of Prisoner of Azkaban - we're flying through this movie as fast as all of the MVBs ! Shut Up Tim is back for another guest appearance and Alice scrutinizes Alfonso's scene cuts, in a classic "Owlice" moment. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha put on their fang earrings and dragon skin boots, even if that means they won't be attending a rock concert any time soon. There's no other word for it - this episode is cool. Plus, an important discovery about the Harry Potter Wiki(s?!). Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The Real Weird Sisters are joined again by recurring guest Shut Up Tim to review what is quite possibly the worst five minute chunk of Prisoner of Azkaban. From the kneeslapper "mind your heads" moment to the "right smart bird" moment, there is plenty to dissect, though we know we'll never fully understand the intricacies of Alfonso's beautiful, dark, twisted mind. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guests Mary Kwiatkowski (@FrailMary), Sarah Carradine (@sarahcarradine), and the Sorting Circle to sort the contestants of season two of The Circle (US).Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both The Circle (US) and the Harry Potter series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

Alice and Martha discuss Arthur Weasley in the fifth, sixth, and seventh books. If you have time to listen to this episode later, Molly’s making meatballs.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss Arthur Weasley in the second, third, and fourth books. From his love of eclectricity to his vast knowledge of the Wizarding World, Arthur is one of the most underrated father figures to Harry in the series. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The Real Weird Sisters and Tim discuss everything about minute 5:01 TO minute 10:00 of Prisoner of Azkaban. Dudley watches two television sets simultaneously, the CGI Snuffles inspires an impression from a surprising source, and the Shrunken Heads (Alfonso's legacy) make their first appearance. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha won't be whistling "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" on this episode, but there's still plenty to laugh at in this discussion of Uncle Vernon in books 3 - 7. From his relationship to his sister to his inability to say the word "dementor" correctly, Vernon's character is nothing if not consistent throughout the series! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The Real Weird Sisters sit down with Shut Up Tim to discuss the first five minutes of the Prisoner of Azkaban movie, kicking off a new regular Real Weird podcast series called "Take Five." Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Dig a gnarled finger into your ear and get ready to listen to this week's show, which is all about Frank Bryce, his imaginary wife, and his very real hot water bottle. Alice and Martha discuss their evolving feelings on Frank, dissect his tragic arc, and do some top notch impressions of the residents of Little Hangleton. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's officially eulogy time, because Sirius did not choose to say "Hello, Sir Nicholas!" after all. Alice and Martha discuss Sirius's legacy after his death, at the end of the fifth book, as well as in the sixth and seventh books. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Though it's not quite time to *properly* eulogize Sirius yet, Alice and Martha delve into Sirius's death scene, the consequences of his "recklessness," and the fraught nature of his relationships to Snape and Kreacher. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss Sirius in the first half of the fifth book, as he walks the line between father figure and friend to Harry and heads toward his tragic demise. Because his plot is less than "stubby" in this book, Sirius will be the topic of at least one more character study! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Though most of his interaction with Harry is via owl post in the fourth book, Sirius begins to take on a very important role, as a mentor, confidant, and constant source of worry for Harry. Alice and Martha break down Sirius's arc in what is arguably the happiest year of his adult life. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Snuffles, Stubby Boardman, Padfoot, the Grim... whatever you call him, there's plenty to discuss when it comes to Sirius Black. Alice and Martha break down his arc in the third book, from his escape from the Azkaban guards to his antics in the Shrieking Shack. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha take some time to remember their grandfather, Paul Krebill, who passed away on February 19th from complications of COVID-19. Following a brief introduction is the Real Weird Grandpa's interview from the 2019 Father's Day special episode. Regular episodes will resume next week with the first Sirius Black character study.

Squeak squeak! It's time to discuss the most notorious rat of the series, Ron's absolutely darling pet, Scabbers. He might have died and you wouldn't know the difference, but he's still worth a full hour of discussion to the Real Weird Sisters! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

This episode is all about CATS (and kneazles)! Alice and Martha finally pay homage to Crookshanks, the Real Weird King! From his sneakoscope abilities to his cosplay skills, Crookshanks is more than just a special pet--he's truly the hero of the series, almost single-handedly responsible for Voldemort's downfall! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Crack open a nice cold Snapel and settle in for our second conversation about everyone's favorite bat-like professor. From his love of the very old and valuable Whomping Willow to his choice to pair Harry and Draco together at the Dueling Club, we can say for certain that every action Snape carries out is due to his love of Lily and his promise to protect Harry. It was all just as Snape planned! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Listeners, start your engines, because you're about to get.... HOOCHED! Alice and Martha analyze everything Madam Hooch does best, from blasting her whistle to practicing some nice, clean negligence when "supervising" the Hogwarts students. Ready to resume play? Because Madam Hooch certainly is. It's time for our annual feedback survey! Please let us know your thoughts about the show at realweirdsisters.com/feedback. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

At long last, Alice and Martha discuss Queen McGonagall in the first book! A no-nonsense nurturer who would never think of tackling a full-grown mountain troll on her own, McGonagall never favors the Gryffindors, and that's just a few of the things we love about her! It's time for our annual feedback survey! Please let us know your thoughts about the show at realweirdsisters.com/feedback. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time to talk about *Professor* Hagrid, who is as natural and gifted at teaching as he is with magical creatures. Yes, everything's great when it comes to Hagrid in the third book. Just don't ask how the flobberworms are doing. It's time for our annual feedback survey! Please let us know your thoughts about the show at realweirdsisters.com/feedback. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Care for a game of Exploding Snap? NO, we don't either. And watch where you sit - Crookshanks might already be there! But for as many cringeworthy moments as Neville has in the third book, there's also plenty of redeeming scenes - Lupin helps him face his worst fears, and Hedwig helps herself to a delicious snack! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Though the inner eye does not see upon command, this episode is sure to be one of the best character studies yet, as Alice and Martha discuss Professor Trelawney in the third and fourth books. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It is time to discuss Remus John Lupin in the third book! This is sure to be quite some episode... even if Alice and Martha forget to mention that particular joke until the very end...Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

As 2020 comes to a close, we are back to celebrate the holiday season Potter-style. First (6:54), Alice and Martha compete in a Harry Potter holiday game show hosted by the Real Weird Husband/Brother-in-Law, Paul Asleson (@paulasleson). Up second is Molly Weasley's Cookie Exchange, where Alice and Martha are joined by returning guest Haley Strong (@hstrong_) to rank popular Christmas cookies and predict which characters would be most likely to bring which cookie to the party (51:53). And finally, it just wouldn't be a Real Weird Holiday Special without an appearance from the official Real Weird Acquaintance of the show, so Alice and Martha are joined by Shut Up Tim (@ShutUpTim) to sort the characters (not the cast) of Love Actually (1:52:18). Special thanks and credit to the listeners who submitted musical numbers. In order of appearance: “Twas the Night Before Christmas” -Carly“Hoot the Lovely Owl Sings” -Gibson“Bella’s Song” -Alicia and Elena, written by Harrison“O Round Blue Light” -Amy“Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” -Kanna“That Christmas Night” -Talitha“Hedwig the White Owl Flew Out on that Evening” and “Last Christmas” -Shut Up Tim“Coventry Carol” -Emily Thank you so much for listening to the show. We wish you a wonderful holiday season!If you enjoyed today’s show, please consider supporting us on Patreon (www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters)!

It's time to talk about everyone's favorite pair of (non-interchangeable) twins! Besides discussing Gred and Forge in the first three books, Alice and Martha also give an update on the search for fellow Bar J fans. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Yet another extremely unique (at least 3 stars) and important character to discuss this week! Alice and Martha analyze Stan Shunpike, the youngest Minister of Magic in history. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

From her canonical unrequited love of Colonel (pronounced phonetically) Fubster, to her devotion to dear old Ripper and her darling neffy poo, Aunt Marge is certain to get a 6/5 in the "heart" category this week. But don't let that spoil you! There's a staggering amount of content to get through in this week's character analysis! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha pay tribute to Fawkes, who really is a wondrous bird! Plus, Alice has some realizations about phoenixes, and Martha explains the history of Guy Fawkes, which she knows like the back of her hand. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Hopefully Olive Hornby isn't listening to this episode, or she might have to renew her restraining order, because Alice and Martha are joined frequently throughout the show by Myrtle herself (thought not quite in the flesh...). This will probably be the last time we ever see or talk about Myrtle, so make sure to cherish every minute! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Mosag's husband, Aragog, is the topic of conversation this week, even if Martha's impression isn't quite what it use to be. (Or maybe it's exactly as it always was? We're not quite sure.) From his obsession with Hagrid to his unknown origins, Aragog is (of course) a highly unique character and a deserving Real Weirdo. And we cannot deny our listeners fresh podcasts, not when they wander so willingly into this feed...Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Put on your lime green bowler hat and your purple boots and settle in for a nice buttered crumpet and an episode about one of the worst Ministers of Magic imaginable! Alice and Martha debate Fudge's unknown Hogwarts house and discuss the myriad ways he is an unfit leader for the Wizarding World. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss the world's creepiest child, "Cotton-Eyed Tom" Riddle! Plus, Martha reveals a new childhood memory and Miss Hepzibah makes a reappearance. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Whether he's advising Harry on which electives to take or polishing his Prefect's badge, Percy is well on his way to a meteoric rise to power by the end of his arc in the first three books! And in addition to discussing everyone's favorite HB, Alice and Martha relive some real weird childhood memories. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

He may not be as skilled at Apparition or Potions as he would like, but he was one of Alice and Martha's main inspirations for staring the Character Study series! A true Hufflepuff at heart, Ernie shows his loyalty to Justin, Cedric, and Harry, and though he may be a bit pompous, we rather like him. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Special guest Sarah Walt Weaver (@sarahwaltweaver) joins the Real Weird Sisters to discuss her web comic, Adventures with Vrah (www.adventureswithvrah.com), her story "Harry Potter Curses Family; Hero Mom Saves Day," and the power of humor in the face of tragedy. In the second half of the show, Sarah and Alice compete in some Harry Potter games, led by the game master, Martha.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha resume their discussion of Hermione, covering her arc in the third book. From her relationship with Ron to her time (turner) management to her standing up to Professor Trelawney, Hermione really starts to come into her own in Prisoner of Azkaban! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Chappell (@Chappells_Show) and the Sorting Blanket to sort the characters of Big Brother (season 22) into Hogwarts houses.Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both the Big Brother series and the Harry Potter series.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha drone on and on this week about Professor Binns, in a tone that is guaranteed to cause drowsiness within ten minutes! Listeners, please channel your inner Hermione and resist the urge to fall asleep during the show! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Well hellooooo, Sir Nicholas! Helloooo!! Alice and Martha are back to discuss one of Hogwarts' most notorious ghosts, Nearly Headless Nick. He may not be part of the Headless Hunt, but at least his reenactment of his own beheading was deemed a success! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss Hagrid's development in the second book, from his being framed (twice) for opening the Chamber of Secrets, to his relationship with Aragog and his sly way with words! All we're saying is, if anyone wanted ter find out some stuff, all they’d have ter do would be ter follow the spiders. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Peskipiksi Pesternomi! Alice and Martha giggle about Lockhart and his charming ways on this week's episode. After all, they are just silly girls like Mrs. Weasley and Hermione! Whether it be his forget-me-not (or was it periwinkle?) eyes or his dazzlingly white smile, all that really matters is the publicity. But, in the end, when it comes to Lockhart, fame certainly does turn out to be a fickle friend indeed... Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha resume their discussion of Ron, this time focusing on his *extremely unusual* fear of spiders, his impressive driving skills, and his willingness to stand up for Muggle-borns. Though his interior decorating choices may not be the most tasteful and his decisions might be particularly rash in this book, Ron's arc in the second book shows us just how sweet and loyal he can be! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Though Lucius's role in the beginning of the series is mostly behind the scenes, we get a clear picture of who he is through his parrot, Draco. If you are in need a more productive hobby, and enjoy putting others down to preserve your family name, well then, our slippery friend, you sound like Lucius... This episode covers Lucius Malfoy's arc in the first three books. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Car gone! No note! Alice and Martha discuss the bad cop of the Weasley family, supermom Mrs. Weasley. She may be a bit strict, but we can't think of a better surrogate mother figure for Harry. Pop six quick bacon sandwiches and get ready for our conversation about Molly in the first three books. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Shut Up Tim (@shutuptim) and the Sorting Bonnet to sort the characters of Winnie the Pooh into Hogwarts houses.Please be aware that the show contains spoilers from both Winnie the Pooh and the Harry Potter series.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Put on your mismatched socks and tea cozy, because it’s time to talk about everyone’s favorite elf! From new theories about how his friendship with Winky came about, to discussion of his relationship with Harry, there’s plenty of chances for some classic Dobby impressions, miss! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Andrew Shim (@andrewwshim) to discuss issues of Asian representation in the Harry Potter books and movies as well as ideas for how this representation could be improved. Be aware that the episode includes spoilers from the Harry Potter series.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time to talk about Dinky Diddidums, Ickle Diddikins, Aunt Marge's Neffy Poo, or, as most know him, "Big D." He may be too busy to join Alice and Martha, as he is probably at tea with the Polkisses, but we'll all make sure to keep him happy with at least 39 presents to celebrate his character study. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

He may be only *smoke and vapor! smoke and vapor!* but Lord Voldemort still has a large presence in the first four books--hence the two hour podcast! He's sassy, charming, and an ego-maniac, but HE'LL GO WRONG, MARK OUR WORDS! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are joined by Lital Ruderman, PhD, MA, LPC, NCC, (she/her) to discuss themes of mental health in the Harry Potter series and how they are developed. Be aware that the episode includes spoilers from the Harry Potter series.For listeners who may be struggling or need someone to talk to, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are joined by clinical psychology doctoral candidate Oak Reed to discuss ways to combat transphobia and practice self-care during difficult times. For more information on the topics discussed in this episode, Oak recommends the following resources: the 2015 National Transgender Discrimination Survey; Adult Transgender Care, edited by Michael R. Kauth and Jillian C. Shipherd; Stacey’s Not a Girl by Colt Keo-Meier; Red: A Crayon’s Story by Michael Hall; and Second Son: Transitioning Toward My Destiny, Love and Life by Ryan K. Sallans. Oak's research can be found by searching for Oakleigh M. Reed in research databases or Google Scholar. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time to stop horsing around once and for all, and to finally have a serious conversation about the number one Hogwarts hottie, Firenze! He may not hold a candle to Mr. Tumnus, but he's still one of the sexiest stargazers in the Wizarding World. We don't know a whole lot about Firenze's backstory, but one thing is for sure: Hagrid definitely didn't breed him. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Jessie Earl (@jessiegender) of the Jessie Gender YouTube channel joins Alice and Martha to analyze JK Rowling's transphobic views through a geek culture lens and discuss ways fans can distance themselves from these harmful ideologies without fully losing Harry Potter. Jessie, Martha and (sort of) Alice also talk Star Trek, including a mini Sorting hat and a recasting of the Hogwarts professors. For more information on the main topics discussed in this episode, please check out Jessie Gender's videos "Breaking down JK Rowling’s Transphobic Essay" and "JK Rowling Transphobia Explained." Jessie also recommends Vox's article "The Rise of Anti-Trans 'Radical' Feminists, Explained" for more information on TERF ideology. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss their hottest, most original takes on poor, blundering Neville in the first three books. He may be worth twelve of Malfoy, but a game of Exploding Snap with him is the last thing Harry would ever want. Is your Remembrall glowing red? If so... sorry, we have no idea why, either!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are joined by "family" members Kate Hildner and Shut Up Tim (@ShutUpTim) to compete in a game of Family Feud hosted by the Real Weird Husband/Brother-in-Law Paul Asleson (@paulasleson). Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Special guest Laramie Dean (@bylaramiedean) joins the Real Weird Sisters to discuss his upcoming novel, Black Forest, his love of horror, and LGBTQ+ allyship, as well as many other fun topics! Black Forest is available for pre-order at https://www.inkshares.com/books/black-forest. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha return to their discussion of Dumbledore's questionable decision-making, from his hiring Lockhart, to his keeping Hogwarts open during a pandemic-like situation, to his inability to crack the case on the Chamber of Secrets. Not to mention the biggest question mark of all -- what Dumbledore does on a daily basis. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guests Aman Adwin (@AmanAdwin) and Matt Liguori (@mattliguori) of The Choir Room (@ChoirRoomPod) and the Sorting Slushie to sort the characters of Glee into Hogwarts houses.Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both Glee and the Harry Potter series.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Most of the Real Weirdos so far haven't got an ounce of logic, but oooh, Harry, it's finally time to talk about a female character! Martha and Alice are back to discuss everyone's favorite lovable know-it-all in the first two books. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time to discuss Wood, who is not a cane to be used on Harry, but a ruddy good keeper who goes on to play for Pride of Portree (nah, it was Puddlemere United). That means it's also time for SPORTS HOUR with Alice and Martha! And this is NO time to be a gentleman, we'll knock you off your brooms if we have to. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time to discuss another unproblematic hero of the series! Alice and Martha discuss Draco's sweet disposition and his inclusive value system, as they are clearly established in the first two books. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The two biggest Snape stans / apologists convene to praise this amazing, heroic character! Alice and Martha discuss Snape's vast repertoire of talents, from his Potions ingenuity, to his logic skills, to his passion for refereeing Quidditch. And nothing is as impressive as his classroom management! There's no question about it, this professor is Mature and a Real Adult! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

We are taking a break from our regularly scheduled programming this week to respond to current events and unpack our thoughts on the Black Lives Matter movement as well as JK Rowling's transphobic twitter tirade. In the second half of the show, we discuss some YA book recommendations to uplift voices of BIPOC as well as LGBTQ+ people. This is by no means an exhaustive list, just some of our personal favorites. We are not experts, but we want to do what we can with our privilege to be better allies.If you don’t think this show is for you, please consider listening with an open mind. Our regularly scheduled program will resume in a week, but there are more important issues that need to be addressed now.Please consider donating to Equal Justice Initiative at eji.org. We have reached our matching goal at this time but would love to continue raising funds as a Real Weird family for this important cause. Send us a screenshot (realweirdsisters@gmail.com) if you donate so we can record your contribution.

Special guest Sarah Barrios (@SARAHBARRlOS) joins the Real Weird Sisters to discuss how Harry Potter has influenced her career as a recording artist and songwriter and go head-to-head against Alice and Martha in some fun Harry Potter games (activities?).Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Bee in your bonnet? We'll eat ourselves if you can find a smarter podcast than this! Alice and Martha discuss everything Sorting Hat, from the original intent of the hat, to the houses that get the short end of the stick, to the Sorting Hat's questionable sentience. Branched out a bit, haven't we? Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha have dirt on their noses and corned beef sandwiches packed for the first leg of the journey through Ron's character. Even though he keeps busy mooching off his rich friends and dutifully tending Norbert, Ron still gets really good marks, and most importantly, he's a wizard chess savant! (That part will be VERY significant later in the series). Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Gray morals, silver eyes... it's time to talk about one of the most complex minor characters of the series, "Garrick" Ollivander. From his passive aggressive digs at Gregorovitch to his obsession with listing wand stats, there's plenty to discuss. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

He may have a big mouth, but his heart is even bigger. Budge up, yeh great lump, It's time to discuss everyone's favorite gentle giant, Ru-BAE-us Hagrid! Oh happee dae! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Put on your Smeltings best and get ready to hum “Tiptoe Through the Tulips,” because it’s time to “shake ‘em off, shake ‘em off.” That’s right, we are here to talk about one of the most perfectly normal characters ever created — Vernon Dursley, Howard’s uncle. Stay tuned for Part 2: this episode focuses solely on Vernon’s arc in Sorcerer’s Stone and Chamber of Secrets. And try not to ruin any of our punchlines.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha analyze Dumbledore's arc in the first book, from his taste for lemon drops (LOL!) to his short-lived obsession with music. Before we begin, we would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Shandy and the Sorting Baseball Cap to sort the characters of the Twilight Saga into Hogwarts houses.Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both the Twilight and Harry Potter series.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time for the Extraordinary General Podcast. Albus and Scorpius find themselves trapped in 1981, and by the grace of Dumbledore, they figure out a very simple yet realistic way to send a message to the future. Harry's had some pretty horrible Hallows' Eves, but this has got to be at least in the top five. It's time to get Polyjuicing. We love you specifically, listeners! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In an alternate timeline, The Scorpion King teams up with Granger, Weasley, and Severus to set things right. Back in the real world, McGonagall flies off the handle about irresponsible time turner usage and Albus considers getting a matching mark to Delphi. Listen to this podcast if you have a "spare" moment! For Voldemort and Valor! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The Official Real Weird Gamemaster, Shut Up Tim (@ShutUpTim) returns to host the second "annual" Real Weird Hunger Games. Alice, Martha, and special guest Mary Kwiatkowski (@FrailMary) draft teams and compete in a DND-style game featuring all your *favorite* Harry Potter characters as they fight to the death at the Ministry of Magic. If you're confused, don't worry; so are we! Be aware that the show may contain spoilers from both the Hunger Games series and the Harry Potter series.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha discuss the Greatest Showman on Earth, Myrtle Elizabeth Warren, and time travel confusion as they continue through Act 2 of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The Real Weird Sisters are joined by Shut Up Tim to rank all eight Harry Potter movies, with input from the other moviecast guests. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Bing, bang, boing! It's time for story of 19 years later (oh wait... 22 years later), when the characters are all super consistent and nothing feels like fan fiction! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersNew episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha are joined by Mary Kwiatkowski (@FrailMary) and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to review the Harry Potter computer game. Oh, and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2. Now move along! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersDon't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha walk through the history of the podcast and discuss plans for the new direction of the show. Thank you all for sticking with us for the past four years, and we hope you will continue to listen as we move to this next stage! Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.

All is well as Alice and Martha round out the final official book club episode. Albus Severus, Little Scorpius, Victoire, and the rest of the gang head off to Hogwarts, and how satisfying it is to know that this is the final moment of the series, the last we'll see of these characters! This may be the final book club episode, but the podcast is far from over! Stay tuned for later this week, when we will announce our plans going forward. Don't forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.

It's all come down to this: after all, neither can live while the other survives. Put simply, Harry got to the wand weeks ago; Tom Riddle is too late. This penultimate chapter of the series has wandlore, new theories, and one final Peeves impression. And don't forget that Slytherin House played its part (for better or for worse...). Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha once again find themselves on different sides of the aisle regarding what exactly is happening in this chapter. However, we can all agree that the gleam of triumph in Dumbledore's eyes following Voldemort's return was thanks to the fact that he would no longer have to coerce Harry into becoming blood brothers with Ron. And in his underrated decision to return to life, Harry is the man in the million and seems to know it (after all, he is a jock who became a cop). Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Come in command central: Harry Potter is about to die. We repeat: Harry Potter is about to die. in a lesser reported story, Martha and Alice have a rare difference of Potter opinion and have very contrasting emotional responses to this chapter. You'll be edge of your seat, panting like Bellatrix, to hear how those chapter rankings play out! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's time for the prince's long-awaited T-A-L-E, in which not only the page number is highly significant, but the number 19 (or 20?) is as well. Grawp is missing a shoe (and we all know how expensive Danskos in that size are), Ron and Hermione completely dip on Harry, and Snivellus becomes somewhat more humanized. After all, sometimes we think we Sort too soon. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and Martha sound like Lucius as they discuss "the boy," who makes his way out of the castle and heads for the Shrieking Shack. Hagrid also makes his way out of the castle as the acromantulas get a bit restive. And finally, it's the ultimate flight of the Prince. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Rob Cesternino (@robcesternino) and Penner's Sorting Fedora to sort the contestants of the upcoming Survivor Season 40: Winners at War into Hogwarts houses.Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both Survivor and the Harry Potter series.Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Luckily for you, Alice and Martha have not, to use the common phrase, done a bunk this week, though they might have to if all the Slytherin listeners start coming for them! Harry tracks down the Gray Lady, who really might want to consider taking out a restraining order on "The Baron," and finds his way to the Room of Hidden Things to get his hands on the the die-dum. And don't forget that in the midst of all this chaos, the Battle of Hogwarts has officially begun, and Percy is about to make Fred laugh for the first and last time. :( Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's too bad Flight of the Prince has already been taken, because that really would have been a much better title for this chapter--well, or, The Carrows Come to Call. While Ron and Hermione rush off to find a "bathroom," Harry acts on Dumbledore's orders and tries to tract down the missing diadem (which, in case you forgot, is a bit like a crown). Finally, as the entire DA and Order rush out to fight in a most organized fashion, the prodigal Weasley son returns and finally gets to meet his sister-in-law. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Kirsten MacInnis (@kirstensaidwhat) and the Sorting Circle to sort the contestants of season one of The Circle (US).Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both The Circle (US) and the Harry Potter series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

Neville's back, and he's a changed man, from his newfound confidence to his shrunken arm. At the same time, gossip king Terry Boot can barely contain his excitement, Michael Corner considers opening a bar (though the name is still undecided) and Cho Chang, Harry's ex-girlfriend, is as tempting as ever. All of this chaos does not impress Harry, who just wants to find the lost diadem (which is a bit like a crown). If you haven't done so already, please fill out our 2020 listener feedback survey at realweirdsisters.com/feedback. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

In the process of persuading the GOAT of his commitment to the mission, Harry ends up convincing himself, and proceeds with his nice job, which is the sort of thing you’d expect an unqualified wizard kid to be able to do without overstretching themselves. Meanwhile, Ron stuffs himself with cheese and mead, though he definitely missed the opportunity for some firewhisky- that bloke definitely would have sold him anything, he wouldn't care. If you haven't done so already, please fill out our 2020 listener feedback survey at realweirdsisters.com/feedback. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Heh! $%&*#!! Three highly edible humans take a joyride on the back of a dragon - in case you hadn't noticed, they just broke out of Gringotts. They're covered in burns, but it's nothing a little dittany and pumpkin juice can't fix. At least they're not wearing the cup around their necks, that would look weird! And to wrap up this very short chapter, Harry gets a highly gratifying "I told you so moment" when the location of the last Horcrux is confirmed. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The trio flies by the seats of their pants to make good on a premise laid out in book one, *banking* on one evil hair to disguise Hermione (and her voice) perfectly. Griphook keeps a tight grip on ol' Hook, Travers finds an amazing hiding spot in the Gringotts caverns, stalagmite's got an "M" in it, and the Probity Probes are so crude, but effective,. 'Ow you? Hopefully, not in sympathy with the Dark Lord's aims. And try not to touch anything! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

As 2019 comes to a close, we are back to celebrate the holiday season Potter-style. Join us as we rank the best magical locations to celebrate the holidays with returning guest Kate Hildner (@khildner11), go on a choose-your-own-corny-Holiday-adventure with new guest Angela Bloom (@angpalaggi), and sort some classic Christmas characters with the Real Weird Husband/Brother-in-Law, Paul Asleson (@paulasleson).Special thanks to friends of the podcast Justin Ramsay, Harrison Tu, and Kanna Ann Anderson for their musical contributions to the episode! Apologies to listeners for our inclusion of several of Shut Up Tim's non-musical contributions as well. Thank you so much for listening to the show. We wish you a wonderful holiday season!If you enjoyed today’s show, please consider supporting us on Patreon (www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters)!

Harry concocts a despicable plan to double-cross Griphook, though it's not nearly as vile as breaking into Dumbledore's tomb - he could never have done that. Fleur--who is not an owl--escapes from ze Grindylows long enough to give Aunt Muriel back her tirahrah, which is easier done than said! And finally, Remus John Lupin arrives for a well-timed nightcap with his bros, and answers a bunch of questions no one ever asked. It's a werewolf thing. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's back to the book club as Alice and Martha dive into "The Wandmaker," alternatively named "The Banker." Harry makes his decision in the Horcruxes vs. Hallows debate, and he is incredibly confident and assured in the wake of Dobby's funeral. Actually, he's highly logical, which allows him to look past extraneous detail. Meanwhile, You-Know-Who flies off to Dumbledore's tomb, where the old fool was definitely stupid enough to think that marble would keep the Elder Wand safe. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Alice and seven Marthas are joined by Jessica Liese (@HaymakerHattie) and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to review Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsistersSpoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode.

Numerous plots converge in what is definitely (SPOILER ALERT!) the best chapter of the book so far. Luna, Ollivander, Dean, Aberforth, Draco, Bellatrix, Griphook, Greyback, Grindelwald, and Wormtail all play important roles in the action, but none as important as our fallen warrior, Dobby, a free elf, who knows no master! From new character impressions to moments of silence to tears from an unexpected source, this episode has it all. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Watch Harry descend into madness as he contemplates the Elder Wand... the Resurrection Stone... the Cloak of Invisibility! Hermione is most skeptical, but old Xeno was right- she is limited. Narrow. Close-minded. Ron provides the trio with some much-needed stability and optimism, not to mention some amazing password-guessing skills. And finally, it’s time for some good ol’ Potterwatch, which is hosted by *gasp* some familiar voices! (Yes, we know that’s Lupin!)Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

This episode is set at midnight, not twilight - much spookier! Stretch out on the couch with your hands behind your head, sip your delicious Gurdyroot infusion, and eat some Freshwater Plimpy soup while you listen to Alice and Martha discuss Hermione's incredible translation skills, Luna's interior decor choices, and the complexities of old Xeno's motivations. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The gang's back together, but Ron has some serious and somber work cut out for him when it comes to winning Hermione over again, and tuning the wireless radio certainly isn't helping. Luckily, Harry and Ron are very subtly able to get away to "pick blackberries," which is bro code for "goof off ten feet away from the tent." Meanwhile, Hermione comes up with a plan to pay old Xeno Lovegood a visit, which seems foolproof as long as no one touches the erumpent horn (and there's no way anyone possibly will). Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Harry, dressed in all the sweaters he owns and running on two nights without sleep, makes the wise decision to follow a mysterious doe (dough?) deep into the Forest of Dean. Ron, with a ball of light inside his chest (we must have heard that wrong) saves the day and makes a triumphant return to the tent (if they can only find it!), where at least Hermione doesn't sic a flock of enchanted birds on him. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Yet another cheery chapter to brighten your Monday! Harry finally gets the savage pleasure of finding out the "truth" that old Batty and Enid Smeek shared (willingly or not) with the world's most reliable narrator, Rita Skeeter, and the truth is that Dumbledore shared a damn sight more with Gellert Grindelwald than he ever did with Harry. This super short chapter packs an emotional punch, leaving Alice and Martha admiring Hermione's steadfastness and looking forward to Ron's return. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The Christmas fun continues as the bald man and the little woman head to old Batty's house. To be fair, she was very persuasive and acting totally normal! This is one of Voldemort's weakest plans that should have never worked, but to Hermione's surprise, Harry's mistake was not failing to close his mind, but failing to learn what Parseltongue actually sounds like. This chapter is powerful stuff, and not even just for a house elf, sir. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

This chapter is a major emotional journey. Undesirable Number One finds himself pining for his ex-girlfriend (probably Cho; it is unclear from the context) and entertaining unrealistic theories about the sword in order to get his way. And between the fallout of Ron's departure, reminders of Dumbledore's desertion, and the first trip to James' and Lily's graves, Harry, Hermione, and Martha will all find themselves shedding real tears. At least next week should be more cheery! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The lack of bacon sandwiches is really starting to get to everyone, and it's a real slap of fish on the flesh when they realize they've completely forgotten about the possibility of "Accio Salmon!" Harry, Ron, and Hermione get their first excitement in days when they very coincidentally cross paths with some wizards (and, er, goblins) and learn all about what the sleeping snake has been up to at Hogwarts. But when they realize that the sword has been impregnated with basilisk venom, don't expect Ron to be too happy - that's just one more thing for them to add to the list. Don't bother increasing the end of this chapter, it's too depressing. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

It's finally time for some CAMPING!! The trio is now on the run, and Kreacher's delicious steak and kidney pie has to be swapped out for some rubbery mushrooms stewed in a billycan. This chapter is full of déjà vu moments, from Harry forgetting that he's a wizard to Hermione lecturing Harry about closing his mind. Harry's "dream" leaves him wondering who the thief is and why he looks so familiar. No, he's not some small, fierce creature, or Snape, the sleeping snake...Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The trio continues with their extremely well-thought-out plan at the Ministry, with only a few tiny hiccups along the way. With Hermione and Ron busy doing the actual jobs of their alter egos, Harry checks a most unlikely location for the locket--Umbridge's office, which is apparently now guarded by Mike Wazowski. And don't worry, if you've been missing the horribleness of the High Inquisitor since the end of book five, you're guaranteed to get your fix this chapter, as she stoops to new lows in her quest to stamp out Muggle Born witches and wizards. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

One of the biggest mysteries of the book is introduced and resolved over the course of this enigmatic chapter, and no, we're not talking about the mystery of why JK Rowling seems to think even and odd house numbers are on the same side of the street. If you are wondering what has been going on at Grimmauld Place for the last few weeks, so have we! All we know right now is that the square is filled with a motley assortment of onlookers, and even more of them now that it's September first! How mysterious it all is...Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

An extremely aged Lupin, bearing a strong resemblance to Jacob Marley, shows up at Grimmauld Place to inform the trio of the Death Eaters outside, propose a tempting plan, and drop some very surprising news about Tonks. Harry tries out the name "Remus," and it's about as cool as Remus's insistence on referring to Snape as "Severus." Though the title of this chapter may be a bit off, at least the chapter art makes up for it! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

Once again, the starting page number of this chapter proves to be very significant as Kreacher reveals his story to the trio. But before we get to the elf tale, Harry spends some time ransacking Sirius's bedroom, under the watchful eye of several bikini-clad muggle girls, a very telling photo of the Marauders, and possibly Phineas Nigellus. And "oh, Harry," this chapter is full of revelations, from the shocking reveal of R.A.B.'s true identity to the truth about the horrors of Kreacher's past. When you feel up to it, will you, er, please give this show a listen? Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters.Spoiler warning! Please be aware that our show contains spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Book club episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter three of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter two of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter one of Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters review the movie of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone with special guests Tim Ahlin (@shutuptim) and Paul Asleson (@paulasleson). Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) react to Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Be aware that the show will contain spoilers from Part One and Part Two of the play.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter seventeen of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter sixteen of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter fifteen of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

In this special topics episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by guest Chelsea Patton (@chelseakpatton) to rank the best names of the Harry Potter series and discuss their cumulative top 10 list. To see the complete lists, please visit our website at www.realweirdsisters.com. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers from the Harry Potter series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter fourteen of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter thirteen of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter twelve of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter eleven of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter ten of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Haley Strong (@hstrong_) to draft and imagine a fantasy season of The Bachelor, starring Harry Potter himself as the lead and featuring numerous other Harry Potter characters as contestants.  Be aware that the show may contain spoilers from both The Bachelor and the Harry Potter series. Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter nine of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter eight of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Robbie Hurlocker (@alphaknight) and the Sorting Wig to sort the characters of Hamilton: An American Musical into Hogwarts houses. Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both Hamilton and the Harry Potter series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter seven of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Mike Bloom (@AMikeBloomType) and Prison Mike's Sorting Bandana to sort the characters of The Office (U.S.) into Hogwarts houses.Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both The Office (U.S.) and the Harry Potter series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter six of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter five of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter four of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter three of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

In this crossover episode, The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) are joined by special guest Tim Ahlin (@shutuptim) and the Sorting Fedora to sort the characters of Breaking Bad into Hogwarts houses.Be aware that the show contains spoilers from both the Breaking Bad and Harry Potter series. No Better Call Saul spoilers, however.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter two of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series. Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) recap chapter one of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Be aware that the show may contain spoilers for events which take place later in the series.Please subscribe to our show! Book club episodes are released every Monday.

The Real Weird Sisters (Alice and Martha) tell about their Harry Potter fandom and what you can expect from their forthcoming podcast.Please subscribe to our show! Our first book club episode (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Chapter 1:  "The Boy Who Lived") will be released on Monday, April 11, 2016.