Dear Sugars

Dear Sugars

By WBUR

Radically empathic advice. Produced by WBUR.

Episodes

Archive: When Your Loved Ones Just Don't 'Get It'

Our loved ones are the people who are supposed to understand us. But what if they just...can't? Where do we turn then, and how do we fight the feelings of resentment that this lack of understanding can stir up? This episode was originally released November 11th, 2016.
17/02/24·31m 57s

(Encore) Rapid Fire: Friendship, Part 2 - Male-Female Friendships

The Sugars' conversation on friendship continues with a handful of letters concerning male-female friendships. Is there such a thing as a platonic relationship between a heterosexual man and woman? Can male-female friendships be as emotionally satisfying as same-gender relationships? What do you do when a friend crosses a romantic line? The Sugars discuss it all in rapid-fire fashion.
27/01/24·31m 58s

(Redux) Rapid Fire: Friendship, Part 1 - FAQs

Everyone has had a friendship quandary of some sort in the past, right? This week, the Sugars take on frequently asked questions in "rapid fire" fashion – from hating your best friend's significant other, to hating her politics.
13/01/24·41m 28s

Redux: The Stepchild's Dilemma

Whether you’re 5, 15, or 50 years old, it can be difficult to usher a stepparent in and out of the family unit. In today’s episode, the Sugars answer letters from stepchildren who have fraught relationships with their stepparents. What is a stepparent’s responsibility to a stepchild after divorce? And what can be done if you don’t like the person your parent chooses to marry? This episode was originally released on April 28th, 2018.
30/12/23·45m 29s

Encore: Buyer's Remorse

Buzz Bissinger owns more than 100 pairs of leather pants and over 200 pairs of leather gloves, having spent more than $600,000 on leather goods in the span of three years. Mr. Bissinger has a spending addiction, and he joins the Sugars to offer guidance to a letter-writer whose therapist and family don’t take her spending seriously. This episode was originally published on April 14th, 2018.
16/12/23·24m 1s

Redux: Love In Doubt

How many times have you heard this: "I love him, we're great together, but..."? There's always room for doubt, even in the happiest of relationships. So this week, the Sugars take on some of those doubts in rapid-fire fashion. This episode was originally published on January 5th, 2017.
25/11/23·41m 55s

Redux: The Ugly Truth

Most of us have days when we don’t feel attractive. But in this episode, the Sugars read letters from people whose faces are at odds with conventional ideas of beauty. Writer Ariel Henley joins to talk about her own facial differences. Henley was born with Crouzon Syndrome, and underwent dozens of surgeries that changed the shape of her face.
08/11/23·34m 50s

Redux: Talking About Privilege

Privilege comes in many forms: socio-economic privilege, gender privilege, heterosexual privilege, to name a few. In this episode, the Sugars reply to two letter writers who are facing different forms of privilege. They discuss with Catrice M. Jackson, a leading voice for racial justice. This episode was originally published on August 11th, 2018.
21/10/23·51m 44s

Encore: Cutting The Financial Cord

At age 18, we are granted the rights and responsibilities of adulthood in the eyes of the law. But for parents of young adults, it’s not so clear cut. When is the right time to wean your children off the family payroll? The Sugars tackle this question with the help of Dr. Kate Gale. This episode was originally released on December 23rd, 2017.
07/10/23·30m 31s

Introducing ‘The Gun Machine’, a podcast about how America was forged by the gun industry

Produced by WBUR, Boston’s NPR, in partnership with The Trace, The Gun Machine looks into the past to bring you a story that most Americans never learned in history class: how early partnerships between mad scientist gunsmiths and a fledgling U.S. government created the gun industry in the Northeast, and how that industry has been partners with the government ever since. Host Alain Stephens examines how this 250-year relationship underpins all Americans’ interactions with guns — including our failures in dealing with the fallout of gun violence. The Gun Machine episodes drop every Wednesday, starting Oct. 4, 2023. Listen and follow on Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music and wherever you get your podcasts. https://link.chtbl.com/thegunmachine
06/10/23·3m 0s

Redux: A Spy In The House Of Love

Snooping on your spouse is generally ill-advised, but what if he or she has an addiction and is constantly lying about it? The Sugars and writer Ariel Levy answer this question in this episode, originally released on December 2, 2017.
23/09/23·33m 22s

Redux: The Empty Chair, Part 2

This is part two of the series on early childhood death. The Sugars read letters from parents who worry that their grief may overshadow their surviving children. They are joined by the writer Emily Rapp Black, who decided to have another child after learning that her son had a fatal congenital disorder.
09/09/23·33m 31s

Redux: Trust Your Body

Her grandmother always introduced her as the “chubby one.” Now, she vacillates between moderation and binge-eating. “It’s only when my pants are nearly impossible to button that I force myself to lose weight,” writes the letter-writer who calls herself Body Negative. “And then the pattern starts all over again.” The Sugars discuss and share their own struggles with body image.
25/08/23·41m 59s

Episodes We Love: The Power Of No, Part 2: Oprah Winfrey

"What do I want?" This is the question Oprah Winfrey finally asked herself, after years of struggling to say "no" to people in her life. In the second of this two-part series, the Sugars continue their conversation with Oprah Winfrey on when, why and how to say "no."
12/08/23·25m 18s

Redux: The Other Half of Sexless Relationships

In this episode, the Sugars answer letters from letter writers who want to have sex less frequently than their partners do.
29/07/23·24m 22s

Encore: The Empty Chair, Part 1

In the Empty Chair series, the Sugars discuss early childhood death, an absence that can be ever-present. In Part 1, they read letters from siblings who live in the the shadow of their parents’ grief. This episode was originally released on November 4th, 2017.
15/07/23·33m 40s

Encore: What About The Stepchildren?

When the Sugars answered a letter from a woman who felt trapped in the role of "wicked stepmother," dozens of listeners wrote in asking the same question: what about the stepchildren, who have no control over the restructuring of their family? This episode, the Sugars respond with an episode devoted to the other side of the story.
01/07/23·40m 11s

Encore: I Divorced My Spouse, And My Child Divorced Me

Divorce is always a painful process, but it's especially so when there are children in the middle. In this favorite episode from the archives, the Sugars discuss situations of parental alienation caused by divorce. They answer letters from a mother and a father whose daughters have cut off all communication with them after taking the other parent's side. This episode was originally released October 14th, 2016.
17/06/23·31m 40s

Dear Sugars introduces Love Letters

Dear Sugars fans: We wanted to share with you an episode from Love Letters, hosted by Boston Globe advice columnist Meredith Goldstein, that we think you'll enjoy.
10/06/23·37m 7s

Encore: The Power of No, Part 1

There’s incredible power in saying “yes.” It opens up avenues and allows us to be brave. In Cheryl's case, it’s what led to her becoming Sugar. But saying yes to life's opportunities can also have its risks. In this favorite episode from the archives, The Sugars are joined by Oprah Winfrey to discuss when to say no, how to say no, and what happens in the wake of that. This episode was originally released July 15th, 2017.
03/06/23·35m 13s

Encore: In the Shadow of Damaged Parents

A damaged parent can cast a dark shadow over our lives, especially when we inherit some of that damage. In this favorite episode from the archives, Steve’s father, the psychoanalyst Dr. Richard Almond, joins the Sugars to answer letters and offer a way out.
20/05/23·33m 37s

Encore: The Price Of Our Dreams

In this favorite episode from the archives, the Sugars, along with fiction writer George Saunders, field letters from people who are chasing their creative dreams but frightened by the practical and financial risks that come with that pursuit. This episode was originally released on August 5th, 2017.
06/05/23·34m 51s

Encore: Sexual Fluidity

"Whatever" -- that's how the actress Maria Bello describes her sexual orientation. Her "love who you love" attitude toward sexuality, regardless of gender, is often referred to as fluidity. In this favorite episode from the archives, Maria joins the Sugars to discuss a couple of letters having to do with the confusion and complications that can accompany a shift in one's sexual preferences and partnerships. This episode was originally published on March 3rd, 2017.
25/04/23·42m 22s

Encore: When Your Loved Ones Just Don't 'Get It'

Our loved ones are the people who are supposed to understand us. But what if they just...can't? Where do we turn then, and how do we fight the feelings of resentment that this lack of understanding can stir up? This episode was originally released November 11th, 2016.
08/04/23·32m 4s

Encore: Career Vs. Love

You love your partner, you love your career... but they're pulling you in different directions. What do you do? In this favorite episode from the archives, The Sugars have help from psychotherapist and sociologist Leslie Bell, author of Hard to Get: 20-Something Women and the Paradox of Sexual Freedom. This episode was originally released on April 13th, 2017.
24/03/23·33m 53s

Dear Sugars introduces Violation, a new podcast about who pulls the levers of power in the justice system

Dear Sugars fans: We wanted to share with you a new podcast we're working on at WBUR. Violation tells the story of two families bound together by an unthinkable crime. It explores America's opaque parole system and asks: How much time in prison is enough? Who gets to decide? And, when someone commits a terrible crime, what does redemption look like? Listen to the trailer and if you like what you hear, head over to the Violation feed wherever you get your podcasts and hit subscribe so you'll get new episodes when they drop, beginning March 22.
15/03/23·3m 36s

Encore: Baby or Bust

You wants kids; your partner doesn't. Or your partner wants kids, and you don't. Whatever the scenario, few subjects are as emotionally charged and potentially deal-breaking in a relationship as a disagreement over the decision to become parents. In this favorite episode from the archives, The Sugars take on this tricky topic with the help of the writer Danielle Herzog, who's written in the past about ending her own marriage to become a mother. This episode was originally published on March 22nd, 2017.
11/03/23·35m 11s

Encore: Emotional Labor

Remembering the grocery list, coordinating with the babysitter, scheduling a get-together with the in-laws: These are some of the invisible tasks that (most) women exclusively do in their romantic relationships — and the list goes on and on. In this favorite episode from the archives, The Sugars commiserate with Gemma Hartley, the writer who set off a national conversation about emotional labor with her viral article in Harper’s Bazaar, “Women Aren’t Nags — We’re Just Fed Up.”
25/02/23·44m 18s

Encore: May-December Romances

In this favorite episode from the archives, The Sugars discuss relationships with big age gaps, so-called "May-December" romances with the help of Lucinda Franks, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author of the memoir Timeless: Love, Morgenthau, and Me, which tells the story of her marriage to New York District Attorney Robert Morgenthau, who's 27 years her senior. This episode was originally released October 20th, 2016.
11/02/23·29m 47s

Encore: Should I Stay Or Go?

In this favorite episode from the archives, The Sugars bring you another "Rapid Fire" episode, where they give brief answers to a handful of letters that are all centered around a theme. The theme for this episode is "stay or go" -- people who have a voice in their head telling them to leave their relationship, but who aren't sure it's the right move. This episode was originally released on September 9, 2016. 
28/01/23·34m 20s

Encore: How Do I Find The Courage To Be My Own Guide?

The Sugars often discuss letters dealing with very specific problems or struggles. In this encore episode, they take on a broader, more existential question: how to follow your heart. The Sugars discuss with the GRAMMY-winning singer/songwriter India Arie, who shares how she learned to be her own guide. This episode was originally released September 23rd, 2016.
31/12/22·26m 53s

Encore: Pet Dilemmas

This encore episode is all about adventures in animal ownership! The Sugars, along with Julie Barton — author of the memoir "Dog Medicine: How My Dog Saved Me From Myself" — answer letters about pet dilemmas and the ways these creatures affect human relationships. This episode was originally published on August 26th, 2017.
17/12/22·46m 23s

Encore: I'm A Transgender Man, Seeking Acceptance

The Sugars read the letters of two transgender men who are struggling to find love and acceptance. They discuss with Cooper Lee Bombardier, a visual artist, writer and transgender man. This episode was originally aired on September 2, 2016.
03/12/22·38m 31s

Encore: Who's Your Daddy?

When Steve Lickteig turned 18, he learned that his mother and father, who he thought were his adoptive parents, are in fact his biological grandparents. With the advent of affordable DNA testing and companies like 23andMe, more and more people are having revelations like Mr. Lickteig’s. For some, these revelations can be a welcome and exciting discovery process. For others, they’re shocking and unwanted. In today’s episode, Mr. Lickteig shares his story and helps the Sugars advise letter writers who are still reeling from their genetic discoveries. This episode was originally aired on June 16, 2018.
19/11/22·40m 44s

Encore: I'm In Love With My Abuser

For the first time on the podcast, the Sugars answer a voice mail message from the Dear Sugars hotline. The message comes from a woman who reunited with her ex-boyfriend, who once assaulted her. Wracked with shame, she wonders if reconciling with him is acceptable and if it’s possible he’ll change. Esta Soler, president and founder of Futures Without Violence, joins the Sugars to help answer the question: Is it O.K. to love someone who abused you? This episode was originally released on April 21, 2018.
03/11/22·26m 25s

Encore: Moving On, Part 2

In this second part of our series on moving on, the Sugars discuss how we can release ourselves from our past mistakes. Dr. Harriet Lerner drops in to answer a letter from a woman who calls herself a "serial codependent," as well as a woman who is haunted by her abortion. This episode was originally published on August 25th, 2018.
22/10/22·43m 28s

Encore: Moving On, Part 1

The Sugars have been thinking about what it means to say goodbye and let go. In this first episode of their two-part series on moving on, the Sugars and Claire Bidwell Smith answer two letters from people struggling to move past their grief after the death of their loved ones. This episode was originally released on August 18th, 2018.
08/10/22·46m 54s

Encore: Emotional Abuse

Reema Zaman, our guest in this week’s episode, was in an emotionally abusive marriage. Although her husband’s abuses never left any physical mark, it took her years to repair the damage he inflicted upon her. Ms. Zaman describes some of the telltale signs of an emotionally abusive relationship and helps the Sugars answer two painful letters from women who are struggling to disentangle themselves from their abusive partners. This episode was originally aired on August 4th, 2018.
24/09/22·48m 1s

Encore: The Great Reckoning

Dear Sugars returns to Portland, Oregon, for another epic live show. Special guests Mitchell S. Jackson and Rebecca Skloot share the stage with the Sugars to tell stories of personal reckoning and answer letters from the audience. This episode was originally published on July 28th, 2018.
10/09/22·51m 38s

Encore: Haunted by Ghosting

The term "ghosting" may be relatively new, but the concept -- someone suddenly and inexplicably disappearing from your life -- is not. In the past, a total halt to communication with a friend might leave you feeling concerned that something bad happened to him/her. But in a time where our devices have made us more accessible than ever, it can leave the person who's been ghosted feeling rejected or unworthy. This episode was originally published on March 16th, 2017.
29/08/22·36m 59s

Encore: Do I Follow My Head or My Heart?

The Sugars get a letter from a young woman who has fallen head over heels in love. She and her boyfriend only met a month ago, but are already in deep. Everything seems perfect, and yet the letter writer can't help but wonder if the traumas of her new love's past are hiding somewhere under the surface, threatening to resurface. This episode originally aired Nov. 6, 2015.
13/08/22·25m 29s

Encore: Location, Location, Location

Location, location, location. It makes all the difference in real estate, and it can make all the difference to one's happiness. But finding a place that really feels like home can be tricky.
29/07/22·35m 53s

Encore: Rapid Fire Letters

In a heated moment, a mother reveals a dark chapter from her childhood to her daughter, then immediately regrets it. What now? In this week’s episode, the Sugars tackle this and several other questions, including how to handle a brother-in-law who treats your vacation as his own free childcare; what to do when your best friend’s husband asks you to lie; and why we sometimes recoil at very public displays of grief. This episode was originally released July 29th, 2017.
15/07/22·32m 2s

Encore: Talking About Privilege

Privilege comes in many forms: socio-economic privilege, gender privilege, heterosexual privilege, to name a few. In this episode, the Sugars reply to two letter writers who are facing different forms of privilege. They discuss with Catrice M. Jackson, a leading voice for racial justice. This episode was originally published on August 11th, 2018.
02/07/22·51m 42s

Encore: Sex & Aging

The erotic lives of senior citizens are typically made invisible by our culture, which can lead to confusion and misinformation. Dr. Pepper Schwartz, the love and relationship columnist for AARP, joins the Sugars to dispel certain myths about sex and aging: Do libidos change after menopause? How does the aging body affect the way we feel about sex? Should medical interventions be considered for a declining sex drive? This episode was originally released on May 25, 2018.
18/06/22·36m 32s

Encore: The Stepchild's Dilemma

Whether you’re 5, 15, or 50 years old, it can be difficult to usher a stepparent in and out of the family unit. In today’s episode, the Sugars answer letters from stepchildren who have fraught relationships with their stepparents. What is a stepparent’s responsibility to a stepchild after divorce? And what can be done if you don’t like the person your parent chooses to marry? This episode was originally released on April 28th, 2018.
04/06/22·45m 20s

Encore: The Empty Chair, Part 2

The Sugars conclude a two-part series on early childhood death. In Part 2, they read letters from parents who worry that their grief may overshadow their surviving children. They are joined by the writer Emily Rapp Black, who decided to have another child after learning that her son had a fatal congenital disorder. This episode was originally released on November 11th, 2017.
21/05/22·33m 22s

Encore: The Empty Chair, Part 1

In the Empty Chair series, the Sugars discuss early childhood death, an absence that can be ever-present. In Part 1, they read letters from siblings who live in the the shadow of their parents’ grief. This episode was originally released on November 4th, 2017.
07/05/22·33m 32s

Encore: Just Say It

Words can be wielded like weapons. On today’s episode, the Sugars hear from people who have something to confess but are afraid to hurt others with the power of their words. This episode was originally released on December 9th, 2017.
22/04/22·28m 30s

Encore: Love in Doubt

How many times have you heard this: "I love him, we're great together, but..."? There's always room for doubt, even in the happiest of relationships. So this week, the Sugars take on some of those doubts in rapid-fire fashion. This episode was originally published on January 5th, 2017.
09/04/22·41m 48s

Encore: Body Weight and Romance — with Ashley C. Ford

It’s never easy to talk to our romantic partners about their bodies, especially when it’s about weight. The Sugars, along with writer Ashley C. Ford, answer letters from people questioning their relationships because of major changes in their partners’ bodies.
26/03/22·34m 12s

Encore: Rapid Fire: Love & Money

When it comes to love, money is supposed to be no object. But there’s no disentangling love from anything in our lives, and income is no exception. So how do you assess the role money should play in a relationship, and what happens when your desires and means change over time? The Sugars take on 5 letters in this rapid-fire episode.
12/03/22·44m 20s

Encore: Dark Fantasies, Part 2

In part two of our Dark Fantasies series, Dr. Ian Kerner returns to help the Sugars answer questions about where our central ideas about sex and eroticism come from, and delve deeper into the world of sexual fantasy. This episode was originally released on January 20, 2018. 
26/02/22·28m 57s

Encore: Dark Fantasies, Part 1

Orgies. Sex in public. Incest. These are the things that some of us think about in the dark. Taboo fantasies can be exciting, but they can also be the source of our deepest shame. In this two-part series on sexual fantasies, the Sugars read letters from people who want to turn off the thoughts that turn them on. This episode was originally released on January 13, 2018.
12/02/22·32m 23s

Encore: The Ugly Truth

Most of us have days when we don’t feel attractive. But in this episode, the Sugars read letters from people whose faces are at odds with conventional ideas of beauty. Writer Ariel Henley joins to talk about her own facial differences. Henley was born with Crouzon Syndrome, and underwent dozens of surgeries that changed the shape of her face.
27/01/22·34m 49s

Encore: Rapid Fire: Make the Call

In this encore "rapid fire" episode, the Sugars give brief answers to a handful of letters. This time, they challenge each other to make the call -- one way or the other -- on the questions they're discussing, rather than offer open-ended guidance.
14/01/22·39m 41s

Encore: A Spy In The House Of Love — With Ariel Levy

Snooping on your spouse is generally ill-advised, but what if he or she has an addiction and is constantly lying about it? The Sugars and writer Ariel Levy answer this question in this episode, originally released on December 2, 2017.
21/12/21·33m 11s

Encore: There's Just One Thing

In this "rapid fire" episode, the Sugars read letters from four women who each have one not-so-tiny reservation about the men they’re dating. A Black woman is dating a white man who is unwilling to talk about race issues, claiming that she’s “too sensitive.” Another woman’s boyfriend, a Christian, is having second thoughts about dating her because she’s an atheist. The Sugars tackle these issues and more, and weigh in on which can be ironed out and which should be deal breakers.
17/12/21·40m 40s

Encore: Sexless Relationships, Part 2

The Sugars are joined by the therapist Esther Perel to discuss a letter from a husband who is in a sexless marriage and is looking for a way to help his wife heal from trauma.
03/12/21·26m 0s

Dear Sugars Presents: Woman Yelling at a Cat

This week, we're sharing an episode of another WBUR podcast, Endless Thread.The show is in the middle of a series all about internet memes, and they recently featured the woman at the center of the popular "Woman Yelling at a Cat" meme, Taylor Armstrong from the original cast of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. The story behind the image featured in this meme is surprising and painful, so please take care when listening. 
19/11/21·42m 40s

Encore: A Night of Bad Stories

Dear Sugars returns to Portland, Oregon, for another raucous and uplifting live show. The Sugars get a surprising update from a letter writer from their past; discuss a new letter with a special guest, Omar El Akkad; and ask the audience, “What’s the ‘bad story’ you tell yourself?” “Bad Stories,” the title of Steve Almond’s new book, are the false narratives we tell ourselves that undermine our happiness. “You’ve got to revise those narratives,” encourages Cheryl Strayed. “You have the capacity for change and transformation.” This episode was originally published on April 12th, 2018.
05/11/21·41m 3s

Encore: Sexless Relationships, Part 1

A sexless relationship is often a symptom of deeper dysfunction. The Sugars, along with couples therapist Esther Perel, advise a letter writer whose loving partner is erotically absent. This episode was originally released on September 9th, 2017.
05/11/21·32m 34s

Encore: The Other Half of Sexless Relationships

The Dear Sugars inbox was flooded with responses to the two-part episode “Sexless Relationships” with Esther Perel. In those episodes, the Sugars answered letters from people who were longing for sexual intimacy with their partners. But many readers asked why we didn’t address the other side of sexless relationships: the people who want less sex than their partners. This episode was originally released on October 28th, 2017.
08/10/21·24m 22s

Encore: Should I Intervene?

When we decide to meddle, it can often backfire. The Sugars, along with the writer Meghan Daum, answer letters from people who see loved ones heading down the wrong path, but worry intervention might be the wrong move. This episode was originally released on August 12th, 2017.
24/09/21·41m 5s

Encore: Rage Is A Red Lesson

Shortly after the birth of her first child, a letter-writer who calls herself “Tantrum Daughter” lost her mother to suicide. Now, with a second child on the way, Tantrum Daughter is overcome with pain and anger. After reading Morgan Jerkins’s essay “How I Overcame My Anger as a Black Writer... Content warning: episode mentions suicide. This episode was originally released on May 12th, 2018
10/09/21·40m 46s

Encore: Young & Isolated

Feeling like an outsider is one of the hallmarks of adolescence. But in today’s episode, we hear from two 16-year-olds who have cause to feel especially isolated. One is home-schooled; another feels disconnected from her best friend. Shirley Manson, the lead singer of the alternative rock band Garbage, joins the Sugars to discuss her own journey as an outsider.
27/08/21·44m 37s

Encore: Lovers & Friends

It’s healthy to cultivate friendships outside of your romantic relationships. But sometimes, they can be the source of jealousy and resentment. So when is jealousy actually justified? In this rapid-fire episode, the Sugars weigh in on this question and offer ways to confront and neutralize feelings of jealousy. This episode was originally released on March 31st, 2018.
13/08/21·42m 41s

Encore: Trust Your Body

Her doctor categorized her as overweight when she was 5 years old. Her grandmother always introduced her as the “chubby one.” As an adult, she vacillates between moderation and binge-eating, restricting food some weeks, and gorging on cake and ice cream during others. “It’s only when my pants are nearly impossible to button that I force myself to lose weight,” writes the letter-writer who calls herself Body Negative. “And then the pattern starts all over again.” The Sugars discuss and share their own struggles with body image. This episode was originally released on June 11, 2018.
30/07/21·42m 2s

Encore: Emotional Labor: The Invisible Work (Most) Women Do

Women from across the country wrote in to the Dear Sugars inbox echoing identical inequalities in their relationships with their husbands and boyfriends. The Sugars commiserate with this aggrieved chorus, along with Gemma Hartley, the writer who set off a national conversation about emotional labor with her viral article in Harper’s Bazaar, “Women Aren’t Nags — We’re Just Fed Up.” This episode was originally released on May 5, 2018. 
16/07/21·44m 16s

Redux: Family By Proxy

When a family experiences loss, familial roles are often redefined. In this episode, the Sugars answer letters from people who are unexpectedly charged with caring for new family members. This episode was originally released on February 10th, 2018.
02/07/21·32m 44s

Redux: In The Shadow Of Damaged Parents

A damaged parent can cast a dark shadow over our lives, especially when we inherit some of that damage. Steve’s father, the psychoanalyst Dr. Richard Almond, joins the Sugars to answer letters and offer a way out. This episode was originally released on September 2nd, 2017.
17/06/21·33m 35s

Redux: Consent, Part 3

The #MeToo movement deluged the Dear Sugars inbox with letters about sexual harassment in the workplace. In the final episode in our series on sexual consent, the Sugars read some of these letters and discuss what happens when non-consensual sexual attention moves from the private to the public realm. This episode was originally published on March 24th, 2018.
04/06/21·40m 51s

Redux: Consent, Part Two

Some sexual encounters are obviously consensual, while others are obviously not. But what about those that are neither black nor white? In the second episode in our series on sexual consent, the Sugars plunge deeper into the gray area. This episode was originally published on March 17th, 2018.
28/05/21·33m 11s

Redux: Consent, Part One

In the midst of the #MeToo Movement, women and men all over the country were re-examining sexual encounters from their past. Over the course of a three-part series on consent, the Sugars answer letters from some of these women and explore the complexity and nuance of sexual consent. This episode was originally published on March 10th, 2018.
21/05/21·39m 16s

Redux: Cutting The Financial Cord

At age 18, we are granted the rights and responsibilities of adulthood in the eyes of the law. But for parents of young adults, it’s not so clear cut. When is the right time to wean your children off the family payroll? The Sugars tackle this question with the help of Dr. Kate Gale. This episode was originally released on December 23rd, 2017.
30/04/21·30m 28s

Redux: The Dark Side Of Porn

The Sugars continue their series on porn with a letter from a woman whose fiancé is "addicted" to porn. This episode was originally released on December 16th, 2016.
09/04/21·38m 18s

Redux: Is Porn Wrong?

Pornography is more abundant and accessible than ever before. So it probably isn't surprising that it appears to be having a greater impact on romantic relationships. Part one of a two-part series focuses on some basic questions about porn -- is it wrong to use it? Why do people turn to porn? Is there such a thing as "healthy" porn use in a relationship? This episode was originally published on December 1st, 2016.
26/03/21·35m 30s

Dear Sugars Presents: Double Date

This week on Dear Sugars, we have a special treat for you. It's an episode of Marlo Thomas and Phil Donohue's new podcast, Double Date. Hear how actress Viola Davis met Julius Tennon and how they found deep love in the land of Opposites Attract.
13/03/21·33m 13s

Redux: Baby or Bust

You wants kids; your partner doesn't. Or your partner wants kids, and you don't. Whatever the scenario, few subjects are as emotionally charged and potentially deal-breaking in a relationship as a disagreement over the decision to become parents. The Sugars take on this tricky topic with the help of the writer Danielle Herzog, who's written in the past about ending her own marriage to become a mother. This episode was originally published on March 22nd, 2017.
26/02/21·35m 18s

Redux: Career vs. Love

You love your partner, you love your career... but they're pulling you in different directions. What do you do? The Sugars have help from psychotherapist and sociologist Leslie Bell, author of Hard to Get: 20-Something Women and the Paradox of Sexual Freedom. This episode was originally released on April 13th, 2017.
12/02/21·34m 1s

Redux: The Price Of Our Dreams

The Sugars, along with fiction writer George Saunders, field letters from people who are chasing their creative dreams but frightened by the practical and financial risks that come with that pursuit. This episode was originally released on August 5th, 2017.
29/01/21·34m 56s

Dear Sugars Presents: Anything For Selena

Today, we present the very first episode of Anything for Selena, a new podcast from WBUR and Futuro Studios. In "Anything For Selena," Host Maria Garcia takes listeners on a deeply personal journey into the life and legacy of the Mexican-American popstar Selena Quintanilla. She shares how Selena's music and unapologetic sense of identity helped her find her own place in the world. And it explores how Selena's legacy continues to spark important conversations around race, class, and body politics.
15/01/21·31m 1s

Redux: You Must Change Your Life

“I remember them finding the drugs and holding them up in the sky. And I was like, 'Oh man, I’m going to prison.'” This week’s guest, the writer Mitchell S. Jackson, started selling drugs when he was 14 years old, then went to prison for drug possession years later. When his mother tried to buy drugs from him, he knew he couldn’t run away from his bad decisions. This episode was originally released on October 21st, 2017.
02/01/21·38m 26s

Redux: Buyer's Remorse

Buzz Bissinger owns more than 100 pairs of leather pants and over 200 pairs of leather gloves, having spent more than $600,000 on leather goods in the span of three years. Mr. Bissinger has a spending addiction, and he joins the Sugars to offer guidance to a letter-writer whose therapist and family don’t take her spending seriously. This episode was originally published on April 14th, 2018.
18/12/20·24m 12s

Redux: Haunted by Ghosting

The term "ghosting" may be relatively new, but the concept -- someone suddenly and inexplicably disappearing from your life -- is not. In the past, a total halt to communication with a friend might leave you feeling concerned that something bad happened to him/her. But in a time where our devices have made us more accessible than ever, it can leave the person who's been ghosted feeling rejected or unworthy. This episode was originally published on March 16th, 2017.
04/12/20·37m 1s

Redux: Location, Location, Location

Location, location, location. It makes all the difference in real estate, and it can make all the difference to one's happiness. But finding a place that really feels like home can be tricky. This episode was originally published on March 9th, 2017.
20/11/20·36m 2s

Redux: When Your Loved Ones Just Don't 'Get It'

Our loved ones are the people who are supposed to understand us. But what if they just...can't? Where do we turn then, and how do we fight the feelings of resentment that this lack of understanding can stir up? This episode was originally released November 11th, 2016.
09/11/20·32m 5s

Dear Sugars Presents: Anything For Selena

Listen to the trailer for "Anything For Selena," a new podcast from WBUR and Futuro Studios coming in January 2021. Subscribe now so you don't miss it! About The Show: On March 31, 1995, nine-year-old Maria Garcia came home to find her mother glued to the TV, tears rolling down her rosy cheeks. The phone kept ringing. Relatives in Mexico and the States wanted to know if Maria’s family was watching, too. American networks and Mexican programming aired the same top story. Selena Quintanilla, the Grammy-winning ascending Mexican American popstar had been killed — swiftly, violently — by the president of her fan club. The story shook the country and changed Maria’s life. In "Anything For Selena," host Maria Garcia goes on an intimate, revelatory quest to understand how Selena has become a potent symbol for tensions around race, class and body politics in the United States. The series weaves Maria’s personal story as a queer, first-generation Mexican immigrant with cultural analysis, history and politics to explore how, 25 years after her death, Selena remains an unparalleled vessel for understanding Latino identity and American belonging.
29/10/20·4m 54s

Redux: Pet Dilemmas

The Sugars, along with Julie Barton -- author of the memoir "Dog Medicine: How My Dog Saved Me From Myself" -- answer letters about pet dilemmas and the ways these creatures affect human relationships. This episode was originally released on August 26th, 2017.
23/10/20·46m 34s

Redux: Male-Female Friendships

The Sugars' conversation on friendship continues with a handful of letters concerning male-female friendships. Is there such a thing as a platonic relationship between a heterosexual man and woman? Can male-female friendships be as emotionally satisfying as same-gender relationships? What do you do when a friend crosses a romantic line? The Sugars discuss it all in rapid-fire fashion. This episode was originally published on November 4th, 2016.
09/10/20·32m 4s

Redux: I'm A Transgender Man, Seeking Acceptance

The Sugars read the letters of two transgender men who are struggling to find love and acceptance. They discuss with Cooper Lee Bombardier, a visual artist, writer and transgender man.
25/09/20·38m 32s

Redux: Step Into Your Spotlight

The Sugars find out what happened to two letter writers who let self-image sabotage their love lives. They find out if “Scared to Choose Wrong” married her fiancé, and they give “Aspiring Warrior for Love” a call to see how he’s changed since hearing the Sugars’ advice more than a year ago. This episode was originally published on February 3rd, 2018.
11/09/20·36m 51s

Redux: Inbox Outliers

Infidelity. In-Laws. Friendship. These are just a few of the categories that help keep the Dear Sugar inbox organized. But every once in a while, we get a letter that doesn't fit neatly into any category. The Sugars discuss a handful of those letters in rapid-fire fashion -- from a woman whose mother-in-law might be faking an allergy to her cat, to a woman whose identity was stolen...by her own sister. This episode was originally published on April 25th, 2017.
28/08/20·39m 33s

Redux: 'Totally Confused' Finds A Resolution

The Sugars get an update from a 62-year-old, divorced woman who was considering a reconciliation with her ex-husband, even after years of unhappiness inside their marriage. The situation was further complicated by the fact that he was engaged to another woman. Find out how the letter-writer and her ex-husband decided to proceed. This episode was originally published on August 26th, 2016.
17/08/20·40m 18s

Redux: Does 'The Wicked Stepmother' Still Feel Wicked?

The Sugars revisit a letter from a woman who felt like a fairytale-esque wicked stepmother. When she wrote to the Sugars, she was feeling pressured to love her stepchildren "like her own," but she didn't want to be their mother. The Sugars find out how the self-proclaimed 'Wicked Stepmother' and her husband are doing today. This episode was originally released on August 19th, 2016.
31/07/20·49m 36s

Dear Sugars Presents: Loneliness In A Socially Distant World

Former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy talks with the Kind World team about the startling effects of chronic loneliness and how we can combat this public health concern -- even in a socially distant world.
16/07/20·13m 37s

Redux: An Update From 'Head Or The Heart'

The Sugars get an update from "Head or the Heart" -- a woman who'd fallen in love with a man with a troubled childhood. She worried that the traumas of his past could surface at some point in their relationship. Nine months later, is she still with her boyfriend? The Sugars find out. This episode was originally published on August 12th, 2016.
10/07/20·33m 43s

Redux: An Update From 'Two Truths And Many Lies'

The Sugars catch up with "Two Truths and Many Lies," whose letter about her husband's infidelity generated significant interest and advice from our listeners. Did she stay with her husband or walk away? The Sugars find out.
02/07/20·49m 22s

Redux: Sexual Fluidity

"Whatever" -- that's how the actress Maria Bello describes her sexual orientation. Her "love who you love" attitude toward sexuality, regardless of gender, is often referred to as fluidity. Maria joins the Sugars this week to discuss a couple of letters having to do with the confusion and complications that can accompany a shift in one's sexual preferences and partnerships. This episode was originally published on March 3rd, 2017.
26/06/20·42m 31s

Redux: I Divorced My Spouse, And My Child Divorced Me

Divorce is always a painful process, but it's especially so when there are children in the middle. This week, the Sugars discuss situations of parental alienation caused by divorce. They answer letters from a mother and a father whose daughters have cut off all communication with them after taking the other parent's side.
19/06/20·30m 59s

Redux: The Writer's Resist, Part 2

Part 2 of "Dear Sugar Radio: The Writers Resist" at The Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon. They discuss how to counteract post-election cynicism with Zahir Janmohamed, writer and co-host of the podcast "Racist Sandwich," and they answer questions from the audience in rapid-fire fashion. This episode was originally released on January 27th, 2017.
12/06/20·29m 39s

Redux: The Writers Resist

On November 9th, 2016 -- the day after Donald Trump became America's President-elect -- the Dear Sugar inbox was flooded with emails asking some version of the question, "How do we move forward as a nation from here?" In this episode, the Sugars bring that question before an audience at The Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon. This episode was originally released on January 20th, 2017.
05/06/20·37m 18s

Redux: Friendships

Everyone has had a friendship quandary of some sort in the past, right? This week, the Sugars take on frequently asked questions in "rapid fire" fashion – from hating your best friend's significant other, to hating her politics.
29/05/20·41m 28s

Redux: How Do I Find the Courage to Be My Own Guide?

The Sugars often discuss letters dealing with very specific problems or struggles. This week, they take on a broader, more existential question -- how to follow your heart. This episode was originally released July 28th, 2016.
22/05/20·26m 50s

Redux: What About The Stepchildren?

When the Sugars answered a letter from a woman who felt trapped in the role of "wicked stepmother," dozens of listeners wrote in asking the same question: what about the stepchildren, who have no control over the restructuring of their family? The Sugars respond with an episode devoted to the other side of the story. They're joined by Jane Alison, author of the memoir "The Sisters Antipodes," which tells the story of how her parents swapped spouses with another couple when she was 4 years old. This episode was originally published on November 18th, 2016.
15/05/20·40m 10s

Redux: May-December Romances

Age is just a number in many contexts, but when it comes to finding long-lasting love, an age gap between partners can greatly impact the course of the relationship — both in positive and challenging ways.
08/05/20·29m 54s

Dear Sugars Presents: Madness

"Madness" is a new investigative series from our fellow WBUR podcast, Endless Thread. Told in 5 parts, "Madness" unravels the shocking history of CIA-funded mind-control experiments. In the first episode, Endless Thread presents powerful accounts of abuse at a psychiatric hospital in Montreal, and introduces the renowned doctor who conducted these disturbing experiments on his unwitting patients.
04/05/20·27m 31s

Redux: Step Into Your Spotlight

We find out what happened to two letter writers who let self-image sabotage their love lives. The Sugars find out if “Scared to Choose Wrong” married her fiancé, and they give “Aspiring Warrior for Love” a call to see how he’s changed since hearing the Sugars’ advice more than a year ago. The episode was originally released on February 3rd, 2018.
01/05/20·36m 50s

Redux: Change Is A Work In Progress

In today’s update episode, we check in with some of our most memorable letter writers from previous episodes. The Sugars find out if “Struggling” was kicked out of his mother’s house, and they give “Bad Mom” a call to see if and how her views of motherhood have changed since hearing the Sugars’ advice more than two years ago. This episode was originally published on January 27th, 2018.
24/04/20·35m 28s

Redux: Should I Stay Or Go?

The Sugars bring you another "Rapid Fire" episode, where they give brief answers to a handful of letters that are all centered around a theme. The theme for this episode is "stay or go" -- people who have a voice in their head telling them to leave their relationship, but who aren't sure it's the right move. This episode was originally released on September 9, 2016. 
17/04/20·34m 19s

Episodes We Love: Saying Goodbye

It's never easy saying goodbye to our loved ones, but it can be especially painful when a goodbye is drawn out by illness. This week, the Sugars answer two letters dealing with the guilt and heartache involved in a long goodbye to a parent. They're joined by Robin Romm, author of the memoir "The Mercy Papers," which tells the story of her mother's death from cancer. This episode was originally published on September 16th, 2016.
10/04/20·33m 26s

Dear Sugars Presents: Sugar Calling

Hear the first episode of the New York Times podcast “Sugar Calling,” featuring our own Cheryl Strayed.
10/04/20·9m 44s

Episodes We Love: The Great Reckoning

Dear Sugars returns to Portland, Oregon, for another epic live show. Special guests Mitchell S. Jackson and Rebecca Skloot share the stage with the Sugars to tell stories of personal reckoning and answer letters from the audience. This episode was originally published on July 28th, 2018.
03/04/20·51m 35s

Dear Sugars Presents: Good Life Project

Every week, the Good Life Project podcast from Jonathan Fields and Wondery shares inspirational, intimate and unfiltered conversations about what it really takes to live a good life. Host Jonathan Fields chats with world-shakers like Elizabeth Gilbert, Brene Brown, Cleo Wade, Adam Grant, Glennon Doyle, and Gretchen Rubin as well as everyday guests. Subscribe today.
03/04/20·8m 56s

Episodes We Love: Emotional Abuse

Reema Zaman, our guest in this week’s episode, was in an emotionally abusive marriage. Although her husband’s abuses never left any physical mark, it took her years to repair the damage he inflicted upon her. Ms. Zaman describes some of the telltale signs of an emotionally abusive relationship and helps the Sugars answer two painful letters from women who are struggling to disentangle themselves from their abusive partners. This episode was originally released on August 4th, 2018.
27/03/20·48m 8s

Dear Sugars Presents: A 'Kind World' For Troubled Times

Take a listen to our sister podcast, Kind World.
20/03/20·12m 44s

Dear Sugars Presents: Family Ghosts

Dear Sugars wants to tell you about another great podcast: Family Ghosts, a show where people tell stories about experiences that transform their understanding of familial legacy. On this recent episode, a storyteller named David Crabb took a unique approach to that concept, telling the story of three dogs in his life and how they've shaped his perception of what it means to start a family and be a part of one.
13/03/20·49m 28s

Dear Sugars Presents: WorkLife With Adam Grant

Dear Sugars wants to tell you about another great podcast:  WorkLife with Adam Grant from TED. In the episode, Adam Grant speaks with Cheryl Strayed about getting and giving advice about our work lives. Season 3 launches next week, so get ready for ideas about how to procrastinate less, fight burnout, fix broken job interviews, and negotiate better.
06/03/20·33m 30s

Episodes We Love: Moving On, Part Two

In this second part of our series on moving on, the Sugars discuss how we can release ourselves from our past mistakes. Dr. Harriet Lerner drops in to answer a letter from a woman who calls herself a "serial codependent," as well as a woman who is haunted by her abortion. This episode was originally published on August 25th, 2018.
28/02/20·43m 26s

Episodes We Love: Moving On, Part 1

The Sugars have been thinking about what it means to say goodbye and let go. In this first episode of their two-part series on moving on, the Sugars and Claire Bidwell Smith answer two letters from people struggling to move past their grief after the death of their loved ones. This episode was originally released on August 18th, 2018.
21/02/20·46m 53s

Episodes We Love: A Night Of Bad Stories

Dear Sugars returns to Portland, Oregon, for another raucous and uplifting live show. The Sugars get a surprising update from a letter writer from their past; discuss a new letter with a special guest, Omar El Akkad; and ask the audience, “What’s the ‘bad story’ you tell yourself?” “Bad Stories,” the title of Steve Almond’s new book, are the false narratives we tell ourselves that undermine our happiness. “You’ve got to revise those narratives,” encourages Cheryl Strayed. “You have the capacity for change and transformation.” This episode was originally published on April 12th, 2018.
14/02/20·41m 34s

Episodes We Love: The Long Goodbye

After four years of ministering to the lost, lonely and heartsick, the Sugars say farewell on this final episode of the podcast. We take a look back at some of our most powerful advice, hear from former guests, and talk to listeners about how the show has affected their lives. This episode was originally released on September 1st, 2018.
07/02/20·28m 37s

Dear Sugars Presents: As Me

Dear Sugars wants to tell you about another great podcast: As Me with Sinead Burke. What’s the first step towards becoming more empathetic? Listening. Academic, TED alum, fashion enthusiast, and advocate Sinéad Burke leads candid conversations with diverse, notable guests who explain what it’s like to be them. They challenge us to confront our biases, deepen our humanity, and feel empowered to impact and change the world around us.
31/01/20·49m 23s

Episodes We Love: Young & Isolated

Feeling like an outsider is one of the hallmarks of adolescence. But in today’s episode, we hear from two 16-year-olds who have cause to feel especially isolated. One girl is home-schooled and suffers from social anxiety. Another feels disconnected from her best friend, who has suddenly become popular at school. Both letter writers wonder if they’ll ever feel comfortable in their own skin. Shirley Manson, the lead singer of the alternative rock band Garbage, joins the Sugars to discuss her own journey as an outsider. This episode was originally published on July 14th, 2018.
24/01/20·44m 37s

Episodes We Love: Love & Money

When it comes to love, money is supposed to be no object. But there’s no disentangling love from anything in our lives, and income is no exception. So how do you assess the role money should play in a relationship, and what happens when your desires and means change over time? The Sugars take on 5 letters in this rapid-fire episode. This episode was originally released on July 21st, 2018.
17/01/20·44m 30s

Episodes We Love: Talking About Privilege

Privilege comes in many forms: socio-economic privilege, gender privilege, heterosexual privilege, to name a few. In this episode, the Sugars reply to two letter writers who are facing different forms of privilege. They discuss with Catrice M. Jackson, a leading voice for racial justice. This episode was originally published on August 11th, 2018.
10/01/20·28m 37s

Dear Sugars Presents: Food, We Need To Talk

one woman's quest to end her war with food. Hosts Juna Gjata and Dr. Eddie Phillips wield solid science, medical knowledge, common sense and an endless supply of dad jokes to teach us how to eat better and feel better about it. Hint: it's not dieting. A new podcast from WBUR. To subscribe: http://hyperurl.co/mj567n
03/01/20·22m 42s

Episodes We Love: There's Just One Thing

In this "rapid fire" episode, the Sugars read letters from four women who each have one not-so-tiny reservation about the men they’re dating. A black woman is dating a white man who is unwilling to talk about race issues, claiming that she’s “too sensitive.” Another woman’s boyfriend, a Christian, is having second thoughts about dating her because she’s an atheist. The Sugars tackle these issues and more, and weigh in on which can be ironed out and which should be deal breakers. This episode was originally released on May 26th, 2018.
27/12/19·40m 51s

Episodes We Love: Who's Your Daddy?

When Steve Lickteig turned 18, he learned that his mother and father, who he thought were his adoptive parents, are in fact his biological grandparents. With the advent of affordable DNA testing and companies like 23andMe, more and more people are having revelations like Mr. Lickteig’s. For some, these revelations can be a welcome and exciting discovery process. For others, they’re shocking and unwanted. In today’s episode, Mr. Lickteig shares his story and helps the Sugars advise letter writers who are still reeling from their genetic discoveries. This episode was originally released on June 16th, 2018.
20/12/19·40m 41s

Episodes We Love: Emotional Labor

Remembering the grocery list, coordinating with the babysitter, making food for the potluck, scheduling a get-together with the in-laws: These are some of the invisible tasks that (most) women exclusively do in their romantic relationships — and the list goes on and on. The Sugars commiserate with Gemma Hartley, the writer who set off a national conversation about emotional labor with her viral article in Harper’s Bazaar, “Women Aren’t Nags — We’re Just Fed Up.” This episode was originally published on May 5th, 2018.
13/12/19·44m 16s

Dear Sugars Presents: Free To Be Childfree

From our partners at WBUR, Endless Thread is a podcast featuring amazing stories found on Reddit. This story is about a growing movement that hits close to home. It's about the hundreds of thousands of people who are choosing to be childfree -- to never have kids. This choice is becoming more common, yet it's still questioned ferociously.
06/12/19·42m 59s

Episodes We Love: Trust Your Body

“It’s only when my pants are nearly impossible to button that I force myself to lose weight,” writes the letter-writer who calls herself Body Negative. “And then the pattern starts all over again.” Hilary Kinavey, M.S., L.P.C., and Dana Sturtevant, M.S., R.D., the co-owners of Be Nourished, join the Sugars on today’s episode to offer Body Negative and women like her some hope. This episode was originally released on June 11th, 2018.
27/11/19·42m 1s

Episodes We Love: Sex & Aging

The erotic lives of senior citizens are typically made invisible by our culture, which can lead to confusion and misinformation. Dr. Pepper Schwartz, the love and relationship columnist for AARP, joins the Sugars to dispel certain myths about sex and aging: Do libidos change after menopause? How does the aging body affect the way we feel about sex? Should medical interventions be considered for a declining sex drive? This episode was originally released on May 25th, 2018.
22/11/19·36m 39s

Episodes We Love: Just Say It

Words can be wielded like weapons. On today’s episode, the Sugars hear from people who have something to confess but are afraid to hurt others with the power of their words. This episode was originally released on December 9th, 2017.
15/11/19·28m 36s

Dear Sugars Presents: Hot And Bothered

In this special episode of Dear Sugars, Steve Almond is a featured guest on the Spoke Media podcast "Hot and Bothered." 
08/11/19·33m 41s

Dear Sugars Presents: A Place Of Respite

Dear Sugars' sister podcast, Kind World, recently produced a special series featuring stories of kindness and compassion at the U.S.-Mexico border. It's called "Lifelines" and tells stories of ordinary people who've stepped up in extraordinary ways during an ongoing humanitarian crisis. This story is called, "A Place Of Respite."
01/11/19·14m 52s

Episodes We Love: I'm In Love With My Abuser

The Sugars answer a voicemail message from the Dear Sugars hotline. The message comes from a woman who reunited with her ex-boyfriend, who once assaulted her. Wracked with shame, she wonders if reconciling with him is acceptable and if it’s possible he’ll change. Esta Soler, president and founder of Futures Without Violence, joins the Sugars to help answer the question: Is it O.K. to love someone who abused you? This episode was originally released on April 21st, 2018.
25/10/19·26m 27s

Episodes We Love: Rage Is A Red Lesson

Shortly after the birth of her first child, a letter-writer who calls herself “Tantrum Daughter” lost her mother to suicide. Now, with a second child on the way, Tantrum Daughter is overcome with pain and anger. After reading Morgan Jerkins’s essay “How I Overcame My Anger as a Black Writer Online,” the Sugars enlist her help to answer Tantrum Daughter’s letter. This episode was originally released on May 12th, 2018.
18/10/19·40m 45s

Episodes We Love: A Spy In The House Of Love

Snooping on your spouse is generally ill-advised, but what if he or she has an addiction and is constantly lying about it? The Sugars answer this question with the help of writer Ariel Levy. This episode was originally released on December 2nd, 2017
11/10/19·33m 22s

Dear Sugars Presents: How To! With Charles Duhigg

In this special episode of Dear Sugars, Cheryl Strayed is a featured guest on the Slate podcast How To! with Charles Duhigg. We hear from Megan who is 35 years old, a lawyer, happily married — and suddenly not sure if she wants to be a mom. She always figured one day the maternal urge would kick in, but so far she’s only felt ambivalence. Does that mean that she shouldn’t have a baby? Cheryl tells us how she juggled this question when there is no going back, and how regret — regardless of what we choose — is always part of the equation. Subscribe to How To! with Charles Duhigg at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-to-with-charles-duhigg/id1469631127
04/10/19·28m 56s

Episodes We Love: Cutting The Financial Cord

At age 18, we are granted the rights and responsibilities of adulthood in the eyes of the law. But for parents of young adults, it’s not so clear cut. When is the right time to wean your children off the family payroll? The Sugars tackle this question with the help of Dr. Kate Gale. This episode was originally released on December 23rd, 2017.
30/09/19·30m 29s

Episodes We Love: The Ugly Truth

Most of us have days when we don’t feel attractive. But in this episode, the Sugars read letters from people whose faces are at odds with conventional ideas of beauty. The writer Ariel Henley joins the Sugars to talk about her own facial differences. Henley was born with Crouzon Syndrome. As a child, she underwent dozens of surgeries that permanently changed the shape of her face. This episode was originally released December 16th, 2017.
21/09/19·34m 57s

Episodes We Love: Lovers & Friends

It’s healthy to cultivate friendships outside of your romantic relationships. But sometimes, they can be the source of jealousy and resentment. So when is jealousy actually justified? In this rapid-fire episode, the Sugars weigh in on this question and offer ways to confront and neutralize feelings of jealousy. This episode was originally released on March 31st, 2018.
16/09/19·42m 44s

Episodes We Love: The Double Bind Of Female Ambition

The Sugars are joined by Hillary Clinton to answer a letter about female ambition. This episode was originally released on November 18th, 2017.
06/09/19·23m 22s

Episodes We Love: The Stepchild's Dilemma

Whether you’re 5, 15, or 50 years old, it can be difficult to usher a stepparent in and out of the family unit. In today’s episode, the Sugars answer letters from stepchildren who have fraught relationships with their stepparents. What is a stepparent’s responsibility to a stepchild after divorce? And what can be done if you don’t like the person your parent chooses to marry? This episode was originally released on April 28th, 2018.
30/08/19·45m 30s

Episodes We Love: Consent Part Three

The #MeToo movement deluged the Dear Sugars inbox with letters about sexual harassment in the workplace. In the final episode in our series on sexual consent, the Sugars read some of these letters and discuss what happens when non-consensual sexual attention moves from the private to the public realm. This episode was originally published on March 24th, 2018. 
26/08/19·40m 51s

Episodes We Love: Consent Part Two

Some sexual encounters are obviously consensual, while others are obviously not. But what about those that are neither black nor white? In the second episode in our series on sexual consent, the Sugars plunge deeper into the gray area. This episode was originally published on March 17th, 2018.
16/08/19·33m 10s

Episodes We Love: Consent Part One

In the midst of the #MeToo Movement, women and men all over the country are re-examining sexual encounters from their past. Over the course of a three-part series on consent, the Sugars answer letters from some of these women and explore the complexity and nuance of sexual consent. This episode was originally published on March 10th, 2018.
09/08/19·39m 16s

Episodes We Love: Buyer's Remorse

Buzz Bissinger owns more than 100 pairs of leather pants and over 200 pairs of leather gloves, having spent more than $600,000 on leather goods in the span of three years. Mr. Bissinger has a spending addiction, and he joins the Sugars to offer guidance to a letter-writer whose therapist and family don’t take her spending seriously. This episode was originally published on April 14th, 2018.
03/08/19·24m 53s

Episodes We Love: Family By Proxy

When a family experiences loss, familial roles are often redefined. In this episode, the Sugars answer letters from people who are unexpectedly charged with caring for new family members. This episode was originally released on February 10th, 2018.
26/07/19·32m 43s

Episodes We Love: Dark Fantasies Part 2

In part two of our Dark Fantasies series, Dr. Ian Kerner returns to help the Sugars answer questions about where our central ideas about sex and eroticism come from, and delve deeper into the world of sexual fantasy. This episode was originally published on January 20th, 2018.
19/07/19·29m 5s

Episodes We Love: Dark Fantasies, Part 1

Orgies. Sex in public. Incest. These are the things that some of us think about in the dark. Taboo fantasies can be exciting, but they can also be the source of our deepest shame. In the first chapter of this two-part series on sexual fantasies, the Sugars read letters from people who want to turn off the thoughts that turn them on. This episode was originally released on January 13th, 2018.
12/07/19·32m 32s

Episodes We Love: The Empty Chair, Part 2

The Sugars conclude a two-part series on early childhood death. In Part 2, they read letters from parents who worry that their grief may overshadow their surviving children. They are joined by the writer Emily Rapp Black, who decided to have another child after learning that her son had a fatal congenital disorder. This episode was originally published on November 11th, 2017.
08/07/19·33m 32s

Episodes We Love: The Empty Chair, Part 1

In the Empty Chair series, the Sugars discuss early childhood death, an absence that can be ever-present. In Part 1, they read letters from siblings who live in the the shadow of their parents’ grief. This episode was originally released on November 4th, 2017.
29/06/19·33m 42s

Episodes We Love: The Other Half Of Sexless Relationships

Sex-starved, meet sex-hounded. In today’s episode, we hear from a letter writer who feels pressured by her partner to have sex. This episode was originally released on October 28th, 2017.
21/06/19·24m 25s

Episodes We Love: You Must Change Your Life

“I remember them finding the drugs and holding them up in the sky. And I was like, 'Oh man, I’m going to prison.'” This week’s guest, the writer Mitchell S. Jackson, started selling drugs when he was 14 years old, then went to prison for drug possession years later. When his mother tried to buy drugs from him, he knew he couldn’t run away from his bad decisions. This episode was originally released on October 21st, 2017.
13/06/19·38m 24s

Episodes We Love: Sexless Relationships, Part 2

The Sugars are joined by the therapist Esther Perel to discuss a letter from a husband who is in a sexless marriage and is looking for a way to help his wife heal from trauma. This episode was originally released on September 16th, 2017.
07/06/19·26m 11s

Episodes We Love: Sexless Relationships, Part 1

A sexless relationship is often a symptom of deeper dysfunction. The Sugars, along with couples therapist Esther Perel, advise a letter writer whose loving partner is erotically absent. This episode was originally released on September 9th, 2017.
31/05/19·32m 42s

Episodes We Love: In The Shadow Of Damaged Parents

A damaged parent can cast a dark shadow over our lives, especially when we inherit some of that damage. Steve’s father, the psychoanalyst Dr. Richard Almond, joins the Sugars to answer letters and offer a way out. This episode was originally released on September 2nd, 2017.
26/05/19·33m 36s

Episodes We Love: Dear Dad, It's Over

We can't choose our parents, but we can choose whether or not to have a relationship with them. This week, the Sugars discuss parental estrangement with the help of Stephen Elliott -- founding editor of The Rumpus and author of the books “The Adderall Diaries” and “Happy Baby” -- who estranged himself from his abusive father. This episode was originally released on April 20th, 2017.
17/05/19·40m 22s

Episodes We Love: Career Vs. Love

You love your partner, you love your career... but they're pulling you in different directions. What do you do? The Sugars have help from psychotherapist and sociologist Leslie Bell, author of Hard to Get: 20-Something Women and the Paradox of Sexual Freedom. This episode was originally released on April 13th, 2017.
10/05/19·33m 59s

Episodes We Love: Inbox Outliers

Infidelity. In-Laws. Friendship. These are just a few of the categories that help keep the Dear Sugar inbox organized. But every once in a while, we get a letter that doesn't fit neatly into any category. This week, the Sugars discuss a handful of those letters in rapid-fire fashion -- from a woman whose mother-in-law might be faking an allergy to her cat, to a woman whose identity was stolen...by her own sister. This episode was originally published on April 25th, 2017.
03/05/19·39m 42s

Episodes We Love: Baby Or Bust

You wants kids; your partner doesn't. Or your partner wants kids, and you don't. Whatever the scenario, few subjects are as emotionally charged and potentially deal-breaking in a relationship as a disagreement over the decision to become parents. The Sugars take on this tricky topic with the help of the writer Danielle Herzog, who's written in the past about ending her own marriage to become a mother. This episode was originally published on March 22nd, 2017.
26/04/19·35m 20s

Dear Sugars Presents: Kind World

Dear Sugars wants to tell you about another great show: Kind World. Subscribe today! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kind-world/id963244879
22/04/19·11m 33s

Episodes We Love: Pet Dilemmas

This week, adventures in animal ownership! The Sugars, along with Julie Barton -- author of the memoir "Dog Medicine: How My Dog Saved Me From Myself" -- answer letters about pet dilemmas and the ways these creatures affect human relationships. This episode was originally published on August 26th, 2017.
19/04/19·46m 34s

Episodes We Love: Body Weight And Romance

It’s never easy to talk to our romantic partners about their bodies, especially when it’s about weight. The Sugars, along with the writer Ashley C. Ford, answer letters from people questioning their relationships because of major changes in their partners’ bodies. This episode was originally published on August 19th, 2017.
12/04/19·34m 22s

Episodes We Love: Should I Intervene?

When we decide to meddle, it can often backfire. The Sugars, along with the writer Meghan Daum, answer letters from people who see loved ones heading down the wrong path, but worry intervention might be the wrong move. This episode was originally published on August 12th, 2017.
05/04/19·41m 0s

Episodes We Love: Haunted By Ghosting

The term "ghosting" may be relatively new, but the concept -- someone suddenly and inexplicably disappearing from your life -- is not. In the past, a total halt to communication with a friend might leave you feeling concerned that something bad happened to him/her. But in a time where our devices have made us more accessible than ever, it can leave the person who's been ghosted feeling rejected or unworthy. This episode was originally published on March 16th, 2017.
29/03/19·37m 2s

Episodes We Love: Location, Location, Location

Location, location, location. It makes all the difference in real estate, and it can make all the difference to one's happiness. But finding a place that really feels like home can be tricky. This episode was originally published on March 9th, 2017.
22/03/19·36m 4s

Episodes We Love: Sexual Fluidity

"Whatever" -- that's how the actress Maria Bello describes her sexual orientation. Her "love who you love" attitude toward sexuality, regardless of gender, is often referred to as fluidity. Maria joins the Sugars this week to discuss a couple of letters having to do with the confusion and complications that can accompany a shift in one's sexual preferences and partnerships. This episode was originally published on February 28th, 2017.
18/03/19·42m 35s

Episodes We Love: Happy Two Years Of Sugar, Part 2

It's part 2 of "the year in Sugar," where Steve and Cheryl reflect on some of the most memorable letters and episodes of 2016. This episode was originally published on February 9th, 2017.
08/03/19·37m 43s

Episodes We Love: Happy Two Years Of Sugar, Part 1

The Sugars look back on some of the most memorable letters and episodes of 2016. There are so many that they'll be doing this in two parts. This episode was originally released on January 27th, 2017.
01/03/19·46m 48s

Episodes We Love: The Writers Resist, Part 2

Part two of Dear Sugar Radio: The Writers Resist at The Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon. This episode was originally released on January 27th, 2017.
22/02/19·29m 34s

Dear Sugars Presents: Dear Hank and John

Dear Sugars wants to tell you about another great advice show: Dear Hank & John.
19/02/19·45m 19s

Episodes We Love: The Writers Resist, Part 1

On November 9th, 2016 -- the day after Donald Trump became America's President-elect -- the Dear Sugar inbox was flooded with emails asking some version of the question, "How do we move forward as a nation from here?" The Sugars bring that question before an audience at The Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon. This episode was originally published on January 20th, 2017.
15/02/19·37m 14s

Episodes We Love: Love In Doubt

How many times have you heard this: "I love him, we're great together, but..."? There's always room for doubt, even in the happiest of relationships. So this week, the Sugars take on some of those doubts in rapid-fire fashion. This episode was originally published on January 5th, 2017.
08/02/19·41m 55s

Episodes We Love: The Dark Side Of Porn

The Sugars continue their series on porn with a letter from a woman whose fiancé is "addicted" to porn. This episode was originally released on December 16th, 2016.
01/02/19·39m 14s

Dear Sugars Presents: Endless Thread

From our partners at WBUR, Endless Thread is a podcast featuring amazing stories found on Reddit. In this story, they talk to a happily married couple who has recently decided to experiment with consensual non-monogamy.
28/01/19·31m 50s

Episodes We Love: Is Porn Wrong?

Pornography is more abundant and accessible than ever before. So it probably isn't surprising that it appears to be having a greater impact on romantic relationships. Part one of a two-part series focuses on some basic questions about porn -- is it wrong to use it? Why do people turn to porn? Is there such a thing as "healthy" porn use in a relationship? This episode was originally published on December 1st, 2016.
25/01/19·35m 27s

Episodes We Love: What About The Stepchildren?

When the Sugars answered a letter from a woman who felt trapped in the role of "wicked stepmother," dozens of listeners wrote in asking the same question: what about the stepchildren, who have no control over the restructuring of their family? This week, the Sugars respond with an episode devoted to the other side of the story. This episode was originally released November 17th, 2016.
18/01/19·40m 3s

Episodes We Love: When Your Loved Ones Just Don't 'Get It'

Our loved ones are the people who are supposed to understand us. But what if they just...can't? Where do we turn then, and how do we fight the feelings of resentment that this lack of understanding can stir up? This episode was originally released November 11th, 2016.
11/01/19·31m 54s

Episodes We Love: Friendships, Part 2

The Sugars have another conversation on friendship, this time with a handful of letters concerning male-female friendships. Is there such a thing as a platonic relationship between a heterosexual man and woman? Can male-female friendships be as emotionally satisfying as same-gender relationships? What do you do when a friend crosses a romantic line? The Sugars discuss it all in rapid-fire fashion. This episode was originally released November 4th, 2016.
07/01/19·31m 49s

Introducing Safe for Work

Safe For Work is an advice show that reminds you that while your office may be crazy, you don’t have to be. Office MVPs and corporate veterans Liz Dolan (ex-CMO, Nike, NatGeo, Oprah Winfrey Network) and Rico Gagliano (audio host, producer, print reporter and author) will help you make the big decisions, sort through the small stuff, and get more fulfillment from your work life.
19/12/18·3m 25s

Episodes We Love: The Price Of Our Dreams

The Sugars, along with fiction writer George Saunders, field letters from people who are chasing their creative dreams but frightened by the practical and financial risks that come with that pursuit. This episode was originally released on August 5th, 2017.
08/12/18·34m 42s

Episodes We Love: Rapid Fire Letters

In a heated moment, a mother reveals a dark chapter from her childhood to her daughter, then immediately regrets it. What now? In this week’s episode, the Sugars tackle this and several other questions, including how to handle a brother-in-law who treats your vacation as his own free childcare; what to do when your best friend’s husband asks you to lie; and why we sometimes recoil at very public displays of grief. This episode was originally released July 29th, 2017.
01/12/18·32m 42s

Episodes We Love: The Power Of No, Part 2

"What do I want?" This is the question Oprah Winfrey finally asked herself, after years of struggling to say "no" to people in her life. In the second of this two-part series, the Sugars continue their conversation with Oprah Winfrey on when, why and how to say "no."
17/11/18·25m 9s

Episodes We Love: The Power Of No, Part 1

There’s incredible power in saying “yes.” It opens up avenues and allows us to be brave. In Cheryl's case, it’s what led to her becoming Sugar. But saying yes to life's opportunities can also have its risks. The Sugars are joined by Oprah Winfrey to discuss when to say no, how to say no, and what happens in the wake of that. This episode was originally released July 15th, 2017.
10/11/18·35m 5s

Episodes We Love: Friendship, Part 1

Everyone has had a friendship quandary of some sort in the past, right? This week, the Sugars take on frequently asked questions in "rapid fire" fashion – from hating your best friend's significant other, to hating her politics. This episode was originally released October 28th, 2016.
03/11/18·41m 19s

Episodes We Love: May-December Romances

Age is just a number in many contexts, but when it comes to finding long-lasting love, an age gap between partners can greatly impact the course of the relationship — both in positive and challenging ways. The Sugars discuss those so-called "May-December" romances with the help of Lucinda Franks, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author of the memoir Timeless: Love, Morgenthau, and Me, which tells the story of her marriage to New York District Attorney Robert Morgenthau, who's 27 years her senior. This episode was originally released October 20th, 2016.
27/10/18·30m 40s

Episodes We Love: I Divorced My Spouse, And My Child Divorced Me

Divorce is always a painful process, but it's especially so when there are children in the middle. This week, the Sugars discuss situations of parental alienation caused by divorce. They answer letters from a mother and a father whose daughters have cut off all communication with them after taking the other parent's side. This episode was originally released October 14th, 2016,
20/10/18·30m 46s

Episodes We Love: Make The Call

The Sugars bring you another "rapid fire" episode, where they give brief answers to a handful of letters. This time, they challenge each other to make the call — one way or the other — on the questions they're discussing, rather than offer open-ended guidance. This episode was originally released September 30th, 2016,
13/10/18·39m 29s

Episodes We Love: How Do I Find The Courage To Be My Own Guide?

The Sugars often discuss letters dealing with very specific problems or struggles. This week, they take on a broader, more existential question -- how to follow your heart. The Sugars discuss with the GRAMMY-winning singer/songwriter India Arie, who shares how she learned to be her own guide. This episode was originally released September 23rd, 2016.
29/09/18·26m 37s

Episodes We Love: I'm A Transgender Man, Seeking Acceptance

The Sugars read the letters of two transgender men who are struggling to find love and acceptance. They discuss with Cooper Lee Bombardier, a visual artist, writer and transgender man.
22/09/18·38m 1s

Dear Sugars Presents: Last Seen

From our partners at WBUR, a new podcast that looks into the greatest unsolved art heist in history: the theft of half a billion dollars worth of art from the Isabella Stewart Gardner museum in Boston.
18/09/18·36m 22s

Episodes We Love: Can A Sexual Assault Survivor Love A Rapist?

The Sugars discuss a letter from a survivor of sexual assault who has just been told by her long-time partner that he raped someone when he was in high school. The writer wonders how she, as a survivor and self-proclaimed feminist, can justify loving a rapist.
15/09/18·29m 27s

The Long Goodbye

After four years of ministering to the lost, lonely and heartsick, the Sugars say farewell on this final episode of the podcast. We take a look back at some of our most powerful advice, hear from former guests, and talk to listeners about how the show has affected their lives.
01/09/18·1h 13m

Moving On, Part 2 — With Dr. Harriet Lerner

In this second part of our series on moving on, the Sugars discuss how we can release ourselves from our past mistakes. Dr. Harriet Lerner drops in to answer a letter from a woman who calls herself a "serial codependent," as well as a woman who is haunted by her abortion.
25/08/18·43m 17s

Talking About Privilege — With Catrice M. Jackson

Privilege comes in many forms: socio-economic privilege, gender privilege, heterosexual privilege, to name a few. In this episode, the Sugars reply to two letter writers who are facing different forms of privilege. They discuss with Catrice M. Jackson, a leading voice for racial justice.
11/08/18·51m 33s

Moving On, Part 1 — With Claire Bidwell Smith

As our final season draws to a close, the Sugars have been thinking about what it means to say goodbye and let go. In this first episode of our two-part series on moving on, the Sugars and Claire Bidwell Smith answer two letters from people struggling to move past their grief after the death of their loved ones.
08/08/18·46m 45s

Emotional Abuse — With Reema Zaman

He removed her makeup when he thought she was wearing too much. He refused to put her name on the leases for their car and their house. He told her that she had a green card only because he chose to marry her. Reema Zaman, our guest in this week’s episode, was in an emotionally abusive marriage. She helps the Sugars answer two painful letters from women who are struggling to disentangle themselves from their abusive partners.
04/08/18·47m 57s

Dear Sugars Live: The Great Reckoning

Dear Sugars returns to Portland, Oregon, for another epic live show. Special guests Mitchell S. Jackson and Rebecca Skloot share the stage with the Sugars to tell stories of personal reckoning, and to answer letters dealing with transgressions of love, friendship, the self, and so much more.
28/07/18·51m 32s

Rapid Fire: Love & Money

When it comes to love, money is supposed to be no object. But there’s no disentangling love from anything in our lives, and income is no exception. So how do you assess the role money should play in a relationship, and what happens when your desires and means change over time? The Sugars take on 5 letters in this rapid-fire episode.
21/07/18·44m 20s

Young & Isolated — With Shirley Manson

Feeling like an outsider is one of the hallmarks of adolescence. But in today’s episode, we hear from two 16-year-olds who have cause to feel especially isolated. One girl is home-schooled and suffers from social anxiety. Another feels disconnected from her best friend, who has suddenly become popular at school. Both letter writers wonder if they’ll ever feel comfortable in their own skin. Shirley Manson, the lead singer of the alternative rock band Garbage, joins the Sugars to discuss her own journey as an outsider.
14/07/18·44m 29s

Who's Your Daddy? — With Steve Lickteig

When Steve Lickteig turned 18, he learned that his mother and father, who he thought were his adoptive parents, are in fact his biological grandparents. With the advent of affordable DNA testing and companies like 23andMe, more and more people are having revelations like Mr. Lickteig’s. For some, these revelations can be a welcome and exciting discovery process. For others, they’re shocking and unwanted. In today’s episode, Mr. Lickteig shares his story and helps the Sugars advise letter writers who are still reeling from their genetic discoveries.
16/06/18·40m 37s

Trust Your Body — With Hilary Kinavey & Dana Sturtevant

“It’s only when my pants are nearly impossible to button that I force myself to lose weight,” writes the letter-writer who calls herself Body Negative. “And then the pattern starts all over again.” Hilary Kinavey, M.S., L.P.C., and Dana Sturtevant, M.S., R.D., the co-owners of Be Nourished, join the Sugars on today’s episode to offer Body Negative and women like her some hope.
09/06/18·41m 51s

Rapid Fire: There's Just One Thing

In this "rapid fire" episode, the Sugars read letters from four women who each have one not-so-tiny reservation about the men they’re dating. A black woman is dating a white man who is unwilling to talk about race issues, claiming that she’s “too sensitive.” Another woman’s boyfriend, a Christian, is having second thoughts about dating her because she’s an atheist. The Sugars tackle these issues and more, and weigh in on which can be ironed out and which should be deal breakers.
26/05/18·40m 42s

Sex & Aging — With Dr. Pepper Schwartz

The erotic lives of senior citizens are typically made invisible by our culture, which can lead to confusion and misinformation. Dr. Pepper Schwartz, the love and relationship columnist for AARP, joins the Sugars to dispel certain myths about sex and aging: Do libidos change after menopause? How does the aging body affect the way we feel about sex? Should medical interventions be considered for a declining sex drive?
19/05/18·36m 31s

Rage Is A Red Lesson

Shortly after the birth of her first child, a letter-writer who calls herself “Tantrum Daughter” lost her mother to suicide. Now, with a second child on the way, Tantrum Daughter is overcome with pain and anger. After reading Morgan Jerkins’s essay “How I Overcame My Anger as a Black Writer Online,” the Sugars enlist her help to answer Tantrum Daughter’s letter. Ms. Jerkins frequently taps her own anger in her essays on police brutality. The Sugars and Ms. Jerkins discuss the connection between trauma and rage, and …
12/05/18·40m 35s

Emotional Labor: The Invisible Work (Most) Women Do

Remembering the grocery list, coordinating with the babysitter, making food for the potluck, scheduling a get-together with the in-laws: These are some of the invisible tasks that (most) women exclusively do in their romantic relationships — and the list goes on and on. Women from across the country wrote in to the Dear Sugars inbox echoing identical inequalities in their relationships with their husbands and boyfriends. The Sugars commiserate with this aggrieved chorus, along with Gemma Hartley, the writer who set off a national conversation about emotional labor with her …
05/05/18·44m 8s

The Stepchild's Dilemma — With Theo Pauline Nestor

Whether you’re 5, 15, or 50 years old, it can be difficult to usher a stepparent in and out of the family unit. In today’s episode, the Sugars answer letters from stepchildren who have fraught relationships with their stepparents. What is a stepparent’s responsibility to a stepchild after divorce? And what can be done if you don’t like the person your parent chooses to marry?
28/04/18·45m 19s

I'm In Love With My Abuser — With Esta Soler

For the first time on the podcast, the Sugars answer a voice mail message from the Dear Sugars hotline. The message comes from a woman who reunited with her ex-boyfriend, who once assaulted her. Wracked with shame, she wonders if reconciling with him is acceptable and if it’s possible he’ll change. Esta Soler, president and founder of Futures Without Violence, joins the Sugars to help answer the question: Is it O.K. to love someone who abused you?
21/04/18·26m 17s

Buyer's Remorse — With Buzz Bissinger

Buzz Bissinger owns more than 100 pairs of leather pants and over 200 pairs of leather gloves, having spent more than $600,000 on leather goods in the span of three years. Mr. Bissinger has a spending addiction, but when he published his confessional in GQ magazine he was labeled an “obsessive,” a “fancy man,” and a “shopaholic.” Only when he was admitted into rehab did many people understand that he was struggling with a debilitating behavioral addiction. Mr. Bissinger joins the Sugars to offer guidance to a letter-writer whose therapist and family …
14/04/18·23m 59s

Dear Sugars Live: A Night Of Bad Stories

Dear Sugars returns to Portland, Oregon, for another raucous and uplifting live show. The Sugars get a surprising update from a letter writer from their past; discuss a new letter with a special guest, Omar El Akkad; and ask the audience, “What’s the ‘bad story’ you tell yourself?” “Bad Stories,” the title of Steve Almond’s new book, are the false narratives we tell ourselves that undermine our happiness. “You’ve got to revise those narratives,” encourages Cheryl Strayed. “You have the capacity for change and transformation.”
07/04/18·41m 28s

Rapid Fire: Lovers & Friends

In this rapid-fire episode, the Sugars weigh in on jealousy -- when is it justified, and how can it be confronted or neutralized?
31/03/18·42m 34s

Consent, Part 3: Working In The Gray

In the final episode in our series on sexual consent, the Sugars discuss what happens when non-consensual sexual attention moves from the private to the public realm.
24/03/18·40m 46s

Consent, Part 2: Stuck In The Gray

In the second episode in our series on sexual consent, the Sugars dive deeper into encounters that are neither clearly consensual nor non-consensual.
17/03/18·32m 59s

Consent Part 1: Into The Gray — With Jaclyn Friedman

In the midst of the #MeToo Movement, women and men all over the country are re-examining sexual encounters from their past. Over the course of a three-part series on consent, the Sugars answer letters from some of these women and explore the complexity and nuance of sexual consent.
10/03/18·39m 17s

Family By Proxy — With Jessie Glenn

When a family experiences loss, familial roles are often redefined. In this episode, the Sugars answer letters from people who are unexpectedly charged with caring for new family members.
10/02/18·33m 48s

Updates Part 2: Step Into Your Spotlight

In part two of our updates series, we find out what happened to two letter writers who let self-image sabotage their love lives. The Sugars find out if “Scared to Choose Wrong” married her fiancé, and they give “Aspiring Warrior for Love” a call to see how he’s changed since hearing the Sugars’ advice more than a year ago.
04/02/18·36m 42s

Updates Part 1: Change Is A Work In Progress

In today’s update episode, we check in with some of our most memorable letter writers from previous episodes. The Sugars find out if “Struggling” was kicked out of his mother’s house, and they give “Bad Mom” a call to see if and how her views of motherhood have changed since hearing the Sugars’ advice more than two years ago.
27/01/18·35m 18s

Dark Fantasies Part 2 — With Dr. Ian Kerner

In part two of our Dark Fantasies series, Dr. Ian Kerner returns to help the Sugars answer questions about where our central ideas about sex and eroticism come from, and delve deeper into the world of sexual fantasy.
20/01/18·28m 57s

Dark Fantasies, Part 1 — With Dr. Ian Kerner

Orgies. Sex in public. Incest. These are the things that some of us think about in the dark. Taboo fantasies can be exciting, but they can also be the source of our deepest shame. In this two-part series on sexual fantasies, the Sugars read letters from people who want to turn off the thoughts that turn them on.
13/01/18·32m 22s

Cutting The Financial Cord — With Dr. Kate Gale

At age 18, we are granted the rights and responsibilities of adulthood in the eyes of the law. But for parents of young adults, it’s not so clear cut. When is the right time to wean your children off the family payroll? The Sugars tackle this question with the help of Dr. Kate Gale.
23/12/17·30m 23s

The Ugly Truth

Most of us have days when we don’t feel attractive. But in this episode, the Sugars read letters from people whose faces are at odds with conventional ideas of beauty. The writer Ariel Henley joins the Sugars to talk about her own facial differences. Henley was born with Crouzon Syndrome. As a child, she underwent dozens of surgeries that permanently changed the shape of her face.
16/12/17·34m 48s

Just Say It

Words can be wielded like weapons. On today’s episode, the Sugars hear from people who have something to confess but are afraid to hurt others with the power of their words.
09/12/17·28m 30s

A Spy In The House Of Love — With Ariel Levy

Snooping on your spouse is generally ill-advised, but what if he or she has an addiction and is constantly lying about it? The Sugars and writer Ariel Levy answer this question on today’s episode.
02/12/17·33m 13s

The Double Bind of Female Ambition — With Hillary Clinton

The Sugars are joined by Hillary Clinton to answer a letter about female ambition.
18/11/17·23m 12s

The Empty Chair: Part 2 — With Emily Rapp Black

The Sugars conclude a two-part series on early childhood death. In Part 2, they read letters from parents who worry that their grief may overshadow their surviving children. They are joined by the writer Emily Rapp Black, who decided to have another child after learning that her son had a fatal congenital disorder.
11/11/17·33m 21s

The Empty Chair: Part 1 — With Jessica Handler

The Sugars begin a two-part series on early childhood death. In Part 1, they read letters from siblings who live in the the shadow of their parents’ grief. They're joined by the writer Jessica Handler, whose two sisters died from different blood disorders. “I grew up knowing that I would be the only one left,” says Handler, “and I very often feel the need to live for three people.”
04/11/17·33m 32s

The Other Half Of Sexless Relationships

In this episode, the Sugars answer letters from letter writers who want to have sex less frequently than their partners do.
28/10/17·24m 14s

You Must Change Your Life — With Mitchell S. Jackson

In this episode, the Sugars talk to writer Mitchell S. Jackson, who started selling drugs when he was 14 years old and went to prison for drug possession years later. “There was no way for me to escape what I was doing,” he tells the Sugars. Jackson helps the Sugars answer letters from people who also feel stuck and aimless. One writes: “Here we are two abortions, two failed college attempts, a list of dead end jobs later, I’m stuck in a job I despise and I go home …
21/10/17·38m 17s

When Friendship Ends

Friendships are different from any other type of relationship in our lives. They are purely voluntary, which can make them feel more tenuous. In this episode, the Sugars take questions from two letter-writers who both feel exhausted by a friendship and want out. They discuss with the writer Emily Chenoweth.
30/09/17·33m 21s

Rapid Fire: Should I Stay Or Go?

The Sugars bring you another "Rapid Fire" episode, where they give brief answers to a handful of letters that are all centered around a theme. The theme for this episode is "stay or go" -- people who have a voice in their head telling them to leave their relationship, but who aren't sure it's the right move.
25/09/17·34m 53s

Sexless Relationships, Part 2: Esther Perel

The Sugars are joined by the therapist Esther Perel to discuss a letter from a husband who is in a sexless marriage and is looking for a way to help his wife heal from trauma.
16/09/17·26m 0s

Sexless Relationships, Part 1: Esther Perel

A sexless relationship is often a symptom of deeper dysfunction. The Sugars, along with couples therapist Esther Perel, advise a letter writer whose loving partner is erotically absent.
09/09/17·33m 15s

In The Shadow Of Damaged Parents — With Dr. Richard Almond

A damaged parent can cast a dark shadow over our lives, especially when we inherit some of that damage. Steve’s father, the psychoanalyst Dr. Richard Almond, joins the Sugars to answer letters and offer a way out.
02/09/17·34m 10s

Pet Dilemmas — With Julie Barton

This week, adventures in animal ownership! The Sugars, along with Julie Barton -- author of the memoir "Dog Medicine: How My Dog Saved Me From Myself" -- answer letters about pet dilemmas and the ways these creatures affect human relationships.
26/08/17·47m 6s

Body Weight And Romance — With Ashley C. Ford

It’s never easy to talk to our romantic partners about their bodies, especially when it’s about weight. The Sugars, along with the writer Ashley C. Ford, answer letters from people questioning their relationships because of major changes in their partners’ bodies.
19/08/17·34m 13s

Should I Intervene? — With Meghan Daum

When we decide to meddle, it can often backfire. The Sugars, along with the writer Meghan Daum, answer letters from people who see loved ones heading down the wrong path, but worry intervention might be the wrong move.
12/08/17·40m 49s

The Price Of Our Dreams — With George Saunders

The Sugars, along with the fiction writer George Saunders, field letters from people who are chasing their creative dreams but frightened by the practical and financial risks that come with that pursuit.
05/08/17·34m 42s

Rapid Fire: Summer 2017 Edition

In a heated moment, a mother reveals a dark chapter from her childhood to her daughter, then immediately regrets it. What now? In this week’s episode, the Sugars tackle this and several other questions, including how to handle a brother-in-law who treats your vacation as his own free childcare; what to do when your best friend’s husband asks you to lie; and why we sometimes recoil at very public displays of grief.
29/07/17·32m 2s

The Power Of No, Part 2: Oprah Winfrey

"What do I want?" This is the question Oprah Winfrey finally asked herself, after years of struggling to say "no" to people in her life. In the second of this two-part series, the Sugars continue their conversation with Oprah Winfrey on when, why and how to say "no."
22/07/17·25m 9s

The Power Of No, Part 1: Oprah Winfrey

There’s incredible power in saying “yes.” It opens up avenues and allows us to be brave. In Cheryl's case, it’s what led to her becoming Sugar. But saying yes to life's opportunities can also have its risks. This week, the Sugars are joined by Oprah Winfrey to discuss when to say no, how to say no, and what happens in the wake of that.
15/07/17·35m 3s

Rapid Fire: A Wealthy Sister, An Impatient Girlfriend, An Unshakable Love

The Sugars are back for another batch of rapid-fire questions and answers. In this round, the Sugars take on six questions, ranging from a letter writer who is jealous of her sister's wealth, to a young woman who is growing impatient for a proposal from her longtime boyfriend, to a person wondering if people ever really change.
08/07/17·39m 10s

When Bad Things Happen

In this episode, the Sugars grapple with a difficult question — how do we make sense of the fact that very bad things can happen to people who have done nothing wrong? They discuss a letter from a visual artist who has just learned he is losing his sight, and another from a woman whose life has been transformed by her daughter's life-threatening condition.
03/07/17·33m 14s

Dear Sugar: Do I Wait For My Ex?

In this episode, the Sugars take a question from a young woman whose boyfriend recently broke up with her because of uncertainty about his sexuality. The letter writer is heartbroken, confused, and wondering if she should wait for him while he figures it out. The Sugars are joined by Dan Savage, author of the sex advice column "Savage Love" and host of the "Savage Lovecast."
24/06/17·26m 46s

More Money, More Problems

Money makes us crazy. In this episode, the Sugars take questions from two letter writers struggling with their relationships to money. The first, an aspiring playwright, feels guilty about all the advantages that her parents' wealth has provided to her. The second, a divorced mother, is unable to control her spending and is on the verge of bankruptcy. They're joined by the writer Sean Wilsey, who wrote about his own complicated relationship to family wealth in the acclaimed memoir, "Oh the Glory of it All."
18/06/17·39m 24s

Am I Too Young To Get Married?

In this short episode, the Sugars take a question from a 23 year-old woman who is engaged to the man she's been dating since she was 19. As a child of divorced parents who married young, the letter writer knows there are risks. As she prepares to tie the knot, she wonders whether she should be more concerned about those risks.
10/06/17·14m 52s

Former Hellraisers

Every child has wondered of their parent: What were you like when you were my age? Who were you before I was here? And every parent has to decide how honestly to answer those questions. The Sugars discuss with poet and author Mary Karr, who has written three memoirs about her reckless youth and raised a son who was intimately familiar with those years.
06/06/17·31m 7s

The Infidelity Episodes, Part 4: The Other Woman

In our Infidelity series thus far, we've heard from the cheaters, from those who have been cheated on, and from a psychotherapist and expert on the topic. In this final installment, the Sugars focus on the often-overlooked experience of "the other woman" and the moral responsibility that comes with the role. They discuss with the novelist and biographer Susan Cheever, who was "the other woman" in an affair...twice.
23/05/17·47m 50s

The Infidelity Episodes, Part 3: Esther Perel

The Sugars' exploration of infidelity continues with a conversation with Esther Perel, a relationship therapist with extensive insight and expertise on the subject. What qualifies as infidelity? Why do we go through with it? And, perhaps most importantly, what does it mean to us? If you haven't already, listen to Parts 1 & 2 of the series, in which the Sugars heard from the betrayed and the betrayers.
16/05/17·51m 15s

The Infidelity Episodes, Part 2: The Betrayers

The Sugars continue their exploration of infidelity by hearing from people who have betrayed their partners. They discuss a letter from a desperate wife, whose husband gave her a second chance after an emotional infidelity, only for her to do it again; and another from a young mother who has gotten herself tangled up with the neighbor after years in an unhappy marriage. In Part 1, the Sugars heard from the Betrayed. And in Part 3, the Sugars speak to a leading expert on infidelity, who will make you rethink everything …
10/05/17·35m 37s

The Infidelity Episodes, Part 1: The Betrayed

The Sugars will be spending the next couple of months working on new episodes. During the month of May, by popular demand, we're listening back to our 4-part series on Infidelity, beginning this week with an episode on people who have been betrayed by their partners. They're joined by writer and performer Lauren Weedman, who experienced one of the more nightmarish clichés of infidelity.
04/05/17·45m 41s

Letters From Teenagers

For most of us, our teenage years were marked by feelings of insecurity, loneliness and uncertainty. This week, the Sugars revisit an episode in which they discussed questions exclusively from teenagers. They're joined by Tavi Gevinson, founder and editor of Rookie, a digital magazine for teenage girls.
27/04/17·54m 1s

Dear Dad, It's Over

We can't choose our parents, but we can choose whether or not to have a relationship with them. This week, the Sugars discuss parental estrangement. It's a follow-up to a conversation the Sugars had recently on the show about parents who feel alienated by their children. After that episode was released, an email appeared in the Dear Sugar inbox from a woman who believed the Sugars had discussed her father's letter. She wished to share her perspective -- that of the child who has chosen to estrange herself from …
20/04/17·41m 40s

Career Vs. Love

You love your partner, you love your career... but they're pulling you in different directions. What do you do? Is it foolish to put your career on hold for the sake of your relationship? Or is it more foolish to give up a great relationship for the sake of your career? Or, is there a way to have both? The Sugars discuss two letters from women in relatively new relationships who are having trouble deciding what to prioritize. They have help from psychotherapist and sociologist Leslie Bell.
13/04/17·35m 21s

Rapid Fire: Inbox Outliers

Infidelity. In-Laws. Friendship. These are just a few of the categories that help keep the Dear Sugar inbox organized. But every once in a while, we get a letter that doesn't fit neatly into any category. This week, the Sugars discuss a handful of those letters in rapid-fire fashion -- from a woman whose mother-in-law might be faking an allergy to her cat, to a woman whose identity was stolen...by her own sister.
05/04/17·41m 32s

Love In The Digital Age

Many of us go online in search of connection. But when it comes to romance, online interactions can leave us feeling profoundly disconnected. This week, the Sugars revisit an episode in which they explored the different ways we connect online. They discuss a letter from a married woman who finds herself caught up in an illicit relationship on Facebook, and another from a young woman who is obsessed with tracking her boyfriend's ex on Instagram.
29/03/17·35m 52s

Baby Or Bust

You wants kids; your partner doesn't. Or your partner wants kids, and you don't. Whatever the scenario, few subjects are as emotionally charged and potentially deal-breaking in a relationship as a disagreement over the decision to become parents. The Sugars take on this tricky topic with the help of the writer Danielle Herzog, who's written in the past about ending her own marriage to become a mother.
22/03/17·36m 40s

Haunted By Ghosting

The term "ghosting" may be relatively new, but the concept -- someone suddenly and inexplicably disappearing from your life -- is not. In the past, a total halt to communication with a friend might leave you feeling concerned that something bad happened to him/her. But in a time where our devices have made us more accessible than ever, it can leave the person who's been ghosted feeling rejected or unworthy. The Sugars discuss ghosting with the essayist and cartoonist Tim Kreider. He's the author of "We Learn Nothing," …
16/03/17·38m 49s

Location, Location, Location

Location, location, location. It makes all the difference in real estate, and it can make all the difference to one's happiness. But finding a place that really feels like home can be tricky. Home is where the heart is, we're told. But what if "where the heart is" doesn't align with where your job is? Or when your head -- or your significant other -- tries to talk you out of a location that makes your heart happy? The Sugars discuss the significance of location and home with the …
09/03/17·37m 24s

Sexual Fluidity

"Whatever" -- that's how the actress Maria Bello describes her sexual orientation. Her "love who you love" attitude toward sexuality, regardless of gender, is often referred to as fluidity. Maria joins the Sugars this week to discuss a couple of letters having to do with the confusion and complications that can accompany a shift in one's sexual preferences and partnerships. She wrote about the evolution of her own family structure in her 2013 Modern Love column for The New York Times, "Coming Out As a Modern Family," which she later …
28/02/17·44m 24s

Friends With Benefits, Foursomes And Other Messy Relationships

What if the man you love wants to break up but keep hooking up? How should you handle jealousy toward a lover's friend of the opposite sex? What happens when a foursome between couples reveals hidden feelings? Questions about messy relationships come in to the Dear Sugar inbox all the time. This week, the Sugars revisit an episode in which they discussed a handful of these questions in rapid-fire fashion.
21/02/17·46m 51s

Sibling Rivalry

When we examine the influence our families have on us, we typically focus on our relationships with our mothers and fathers. But what about those with our brothers and sisters? Sibling relationships can be as powerful as any in our lives — and just as destructive. This week, the Sugars revisit their episode on sibling rivalry. They discuss with psychotherapist Dr. Jeanne Safer.
15/02/17·35m 41s

Happy Two Years Of Sugar, Part 2

It's part 2 of "the year in Sugar," where Steve and Cheryl reflect on some of the most memorable letters and episodes of 2016. Plus, the letter-writer who called herself "Out of Ideas" in last year's "Wedding Drama" series makes Dear Sugar Radio history!
09/02/17·39m 29s

Happy Two Years Of Sugar, Part 1

The Sugars look back on some of the most memorable letters and episodes of 2016. There are so many that they'll be doing this in two parts. This week, they discuss the feedback they received on "The Past is Present," they find out if the woman who called herself "Crazy and Confused Cat Lady" stayed with her boyfriend, they revisit the controversial two-part series on porn, they hear from "Minding the Gap" from the "May-December Romances" episode, and they talk to "Lost Somewhere in California," whose letter was the focus "…
02/02/17·48m 29s

Dear Sugar Radio Live: The Writers Resist, Part 2

The Sugars return for Part 2 of "Dear Sugar Radio: The Writers Resist" at The Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon. They discuss how to counteract post-election cynicism with Zahir Janmohamed, writer and co-host of the podcast "Racist Sandwich," and they answer questions from the audience in rapid-fire fashion.
25/01/17·30m 3s

Dear Sugar Radio Live: The Writers Resist, Part 1

On November 9th, 2016 -- the day after Donald Trump became America's President-elect -- the Dear Sugar inbox was flooded with emails asking some version of the question, "How do we move forward as a nation from here?" In this episode, the Sugars bring that question before an audience at The Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon, for Part 1 of "Dear Sugar Radio: The Writers Resist."
20/01/17·37m 18s

Letter From A Closeted Atheist

The Sugars take on a letter from a self-identified atheist, who doesn't know how to tell her deeply religious parents that she's no longer a Christian. She loves and respects her parents, but worries that she can't be herself around them anymore -- that their beliefs and values are just too at odds. The Sugars discuss with the Reverend Jacqui Lewis, who had her own reckoning with faith.
12/01/17·33m 17s

Rapid Fire: Love In Doubt

How many times have you heard this: "I love him, we're great together, but..."? There's always room for doubt, even in the happiest of relationships. So this week, the Sugars take on some of those doubts in rapid-fire fashion.
05/01/17·41m 57s

The Weight Of Love

The Sugars revisit an episode in which they explored the fraught relationship between body image and romance. They're joined by the writer Lindy West, who has much to say on what it means to be a fat woman in our society.
29/12/16·46m 35s

Sugar For The Holidays

The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy and gratitude. But for many of us, they can be filled with anxiety and dread. This week, the Sugars revisit an episode in which they took on some of the big questions of the holiday season. They're joined by Heather Havrilesky, author of "How to Be a Person in the World" and of New York Magazine's advice column, "Ask Polly."
21/12/16·49m 59s

Porn, Part 2: The Dark Side

The Sugars continue their series on porn with a letter from a woman whose fiancé is "addicted" to porn. They discuss with Noah Church, a self-described former porn addict and author of the book "Wack: Addicted to Internet Porn."
15/12/16·38m 44s

Dear Sugar Live In Portland: Part 1

Big news, Sugar fans: The Sugars have another live show coming up -- Dear Sugar Radio: The Writers Resist, Portland Edition, on Sunday, January 15th, 2017, at the Aladdin Theatre in Portland, Oregon. This week, we're giving you a taste of the "DSR Live" experience by revisiting one of the live shows we recorded at Revolution Hall in Portland this summer.
09/12/16·55m 18s

Porn, Part 1: Is It Wrong?

Pornography is more abundant and accessible than ever before. So it probably isn't surprising that it appears to be having a greater impact on romantic relationships. This week, the Sugars begin a two-part series on the topic. Part 1 focuses on some basic questions about porn -- is it wrong to use it? Why do people turn to porn? Is there such a thing as "healthy" porn use in a relationship? They discuss with the help of sex therapist Wendy Maltz.
01/12/16·35m 34s

Powerful Women And The Men Who Love Them

"How's your husband doing?" That was one of the questions Cheryl kept getting after the publication of her memoir, "Wild." What people meant was: How's he handling your success? In this encore episode, the Sugars take two questions on the dynamics of gender, power, and love — a young man struggles with jealousy when his girlfriend gets a career opportunity he wants for himself, and a woman finds she's no longer attracted to her husband now that he's not the breadwinner. Joining them to discuss the subject is Cheryl's husband, …
26/11/16·37m 11s

Dear Sugar: What About The Stepchildren?

When the Sugars answered a letter from a woman who felt trapped in the role of "wicked stepmother," dozens of listeners wrote in asking the same question: what about the stepchildren, who have no control over the restructuring of their family? This week, the Sugars respond with an episode devoted to the other side of the story. They're joined by Jane Alison, author of the memoir "The Sisters Antipodes," which tells the story of how her parents swapped spouses with another couple when she was 4 years old.
17/11/16·40m 7s

When Your Loved Ones Just Don't 'Get It'

Our loved ones are the people who are supposed to understand us. But what if they just...can't? Where do we turn then, and how do we fight the feelings of resentment that this lack of understanding can stir up? The Sugars discuss with writer and artist TaLynn Kel, author of The Establishment piece “My Husband’s Unconscious Racism Nearly Destroyed Our Marriage."
10/11/16·32m 0s

Rapid Fire: Friendship, Part 2 - Male-Female Friendships

The Sugars' conversation on friendship continues with a handful of letters concerning male-female friendships. Is there such a thing as a platonic relationship between a heterosexual man and woman? Can male-female friendships be as emotionally satisfying as same-gender relationships? What do you do when a friend crosses a romantic line? The Sugars discuss it all in rapid-fire fashion.
04/11/16·32m 0s

Rapid Fire: Friendship, Part 1 - FAQs

Everyone has had a friendship quandary of some sort in the past, right? This week, the Sugars take on frequently asked questions in "rapid fire" fashion – from hating your best friend's significant other, to hating her politics.
27/10/16·41m 25s

May-December Romances

Age is just a number in many contexts, but when it comes to finding long-lasting love, an age gap between partners can greatly impact the course of the relationship -- both in positive and challenging ways. The Sugars discuss those so-called "May-December" romances with the help of Lucinda Franks, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author of the memoir "Timeless: Love, Morgenthau, and Me," which tells the story of her marriage to New York District Attorney Robert Morgenthau, who's 27 years her senior.
18/10/16·29m 45s

Dear Sugar: I Divorced My Spouse, And My Child Divorced Me

Divorce is always a painful process, but it's especially so when there are children in the middle. This week, the Sugars discuss situations of parental alienation caused by divorce. They answer letters from a mother and a father whose daughters have cut off all communication with them after taking the other parent's side.
13/10/16·30m 58s

Dear Sugar: Live In Cambridge

This week, we're revisiting an episode taped last November in front of a live audience at First Parish Church in Cambridge, Massachusetts. Recorded on the release day of Cheryl's book of quotes, Brave Enough, the Sugars discuss the importance of quotations in their own lives. They are joined on-stage by rock star Amanda Palmer.
05/10/16·1h 3m

Rapid Fire: Make The Call

The Sugars bring you another "rapid fire" episode, where they give brief answers to a handful of letters. This time, they challenge each other to make the call -- one way or the other -- on the questions they're discussing, rather than offer open-ended guidance.
30/09/16·39m 44s

Dear Sugar: How Do I Find The Courage To Be My Own Guide?

The Sugars often discuss letters dealing with very specific problems or struggles. This week, they take on a broader, more existential question -- how to follow your heart. The Sugars discuss with the GRAMMY-winning singer/songwriter India Arie, who shares how she learned to be her own guide.
22/09/16·26m 46s

The Long Goodbye

It's never easy saying goodbye to our loved ones, but it can be especially painful when a goodbye is drawn out by illness. This week, the Sugars answer two letters dealing with the guilt and heartache involved in a long goodbye to a parent. They're joined by Robin Romm, author of the memoir "The Mercy Papers," which tells the story of her mother's death from cancer.
15/09/16·33m 19s

Rapid Fire: Should I Stay Or Go?

The Sugars bring you another "Rapid Fire" episode, where they give brief answers to a handful of letters that are all centered around a theme. The theme for this episode is "stay or go" -- people who have a voice in their head telling them to leave their relationship, but who aren't sure it's the right move.
08/09/16·34m 12s

Dear Sugar: I'm A Transgender Man, Seeking Acceptance

The Sugars read the letters of two transgender men who are struggling to find love and acceptance. They discuss with Cooper Lee Bombardier, a visual artist, writer and transgender man.
02/09/16·38m 26s

'Totally Confused' Finds A Resolution

The Sugars get an update from a 62-year-old, divorced woman who was considering a reconciliation with her ex-husband, even after years of unhappiness inside their marriage. The situation was further complicated by the fact that he was engaged to another woman. Find out how the letter-writer and her ex-husband decided to proceed.
25/08/16·40m 55s

Does 'The Wicked Stepmother' Still Feel Wicked?

The Sugars revisit a letter from a woman who felt like a fairytale-esque wicked stepmother. When she wrote to the Sugars, she was feeling pressured to love her stepchildren "like her own," but she didn't want to be their mother. The Sugars find out how the self-proclaimed 'Wicked Stepmother' and her husband are doing today.
18/08/16·49m 30s

An Update From 'Head Or The Heart'

The Sugars get an update from "Head or the Heart" -- a woman who'd fallen in love with a man with a troubled childhood. She worried that the traumas of his past could surface at some point in their relationship. Nine months later, is she still with her boyfriend? The Sugars find out.
11/08/16·33m 39s

An Update From 'Two Truths And Many Lies'

The Sugars catch up with "Two Truths and Many Lies," whose letter about her husband's infidelity generated significant interest and advice from our listeners. Did she stay with her husband or walk away? The Sugars find out.
05/08/16·49m 22s

Can A Sexual Assault Survivor Love A Rapist?

The Sugars discuss a letter from a survivor of sexual assault who has just been told by her long-time partner that he raped someone when he was in high school. The writer wonders how she, as a survivor and self-proclaimed feminist, can justify loving a rapist.
28/07/16·29m 39s

Social Butterfly In Love With A Hermit Crab

The Sugars take a question from a young woman who takes great pleasure in socializing. Her fiance, on the other hand, dreads group settings and gets very agitated every time she wants to go to an event together. She wonders what is so unpleasant for him about spending time with her and her friends.
21/07/16·34m 40s

Dear Sugar Live In Portland: Part 2

The Sugars record the show in front of a live audience at Revolution Hall in Portland, OR. In Part 2, they take on alcohol addiction with Sarah Hepola, author of the memoir, "Blackout: Remembering The Things I Drank To Forget." She talks about her years of heavy drinking and denial, and helps take on a question from a letter writer who is earlier on her journey.
21/07/16·52m 55s

Dear Sugar Live In Portland: Part 1

The Sugars record the show in front of a live audience at Revolution Hall in Portland, OR. In Part 1, they talk reinvention with the writer Lidia Yuknavitch, asking: "How can we treat our mistakes as opportunities for growth, rather than moments of total self-destruction?"
13/07/16·53m 8s

Family Secrets, Part 2: Truths Revealed

In Part 2, the Sugars turn from the holding of a secret to its discovery. What happens within a family when a secret is revealed? They take a letter from a woman who is reeling after learning that the two men she trusts and adores — her father and her husband — have both been keeping big secrets.
02/07/16·38m 6s

Family Secrets, Part 1: Unspeakable Truths

Every family has its secrets, but it's how those secrets are dealt with that determines the power they hold. In Part 1, the Sugars consider the implications of keeping a secret within a family system. They take a letter from a woman who, since her early teens, has kept a dark and powerful secret from her mother about her stepfather.
24/06/16·42m 28s

How Do We Forgive Our Fathers?

Father's Day is a fraught and complicated day. In this episode, the Sugars take two questions on fatherhood — from a new father who fears that his depression will be felt by his baby daughter, and from a young woman who yearns for a deeper connection with her distant father.
17/06/16·50m 4s

Wedding Drama, Part 2: The Big Day

Most of the questions the Sugars receive about weddings are about the drama that precedes them — the expectations in the build up to the big day. But that doesn't mean Wedding Day is drama-free. There just isn't much to be done about it at that point. As Cheryl says, it's like a ball rolling down a hill. The Sugars bring in the ultimate witness to wedding-day drama: Lois Smith Brady, the founding columnist of the Vows section in The New York Times.
10/06/16·40m 52s
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