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Baby Geniuses

Baby Geniuses is a show for people who know stuff and people who don't know stuff, but would like to. Every week, comedian and super-genius Emily Heller and cartoonist and mastermind Lisa Hanawalt, challenge their guests to share some knowledge on any topic they want.

maximumfun.org, Lisa Hanawalt, Emily Heller, Rob Pera

Hello babies!
On today's very special episode, Emily and Lisa have some important news to share about the fate of Baby Geniuses and share some special memories. On Chunch Chat, the origin of the name "Timothy" is discussed. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "List of potato museums," a list of potato museums around the world.

List of Potato Museums

Hello babies! 

Do you have Wonka Fever? We no longer do! He's simply not mean enough to children anymore. On Chunch Chat, we come to the conclusion that Martha absolutely manages her own social media accounts. Also, The Rock hasn't been completely honest with us. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Edward Dando,"  a thief who came to public notice in Britain because of his unusual habit of overeating at food stalls and inns, and then revealing that he had no money to pay. Although the fare he consumed was varied, he was particularly fond of oysters, having once eaten 25 dozen of them with a loaf and a half of bread with butter.

Edward Dando

Hello babies! 
A very Merry Christmas to all the Bougie Grinch Girls out there! A not so Merry Christmas to the worms that are trying to enter Emily's house. Related: we dig up dirt on certain Selling Sunset stars. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Humbug," a person or object that behaves in a deceptive or dishonest way, often as a hoax or in jest.

Humbug

Hello babies!
The holiday season is here, and the Baby Geniuses Podcast is your one stop shop for great gift ideas! Is there someone in your life who likes the finer things and whose body is 100% covered in thick green fur? We have the PERFECT PNG for you. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Costco Hot Dog," a 1/4lb hot dog sold at the international warehouse club Costco's food courts. At $1.50, it is the Costco food court's second best deal (onions are free).

Costco Hot Dog

Hello babies!
Thank you for tuning in for our special CYBER MONDAY episode! Listen for great money saving tips that will literally save you THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS. And by that I mean Emily shares how to avoid being phished. She learned the hard way! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Spitting," the act of forcibly ejecting saliva or other substances from the mouth.

Spitting

Hello babies!
Lisa is back from New York with a new obsession and Emily blows off a little steam about a less than sexy period drama. On Chunch Chat, Martha struggles with a mistaken identity and falls for an invasive species. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia article for "Bark Mitzvah," which is either a tongue in cheek celebration for beloved pets or a desecration of a cherished Jewish tradition.

Bark Mitzvah

Hello babies! 

Boo! Was that spooky enough for ya? If not, Emily and Lisa are sharing some stories that just might chill you down to your core.. That is, if your SKELETON HASN'T ALREADY JUMPED OUT OF YOUR SKIN! I shudder to imagine such a thing. Lisa shares an interaction that she had with possibly an actual GHOUL and Emily serves up a literal jump scare mid segment. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Stingy Jack," a mythical character sometimes associated with All Hallows Eve.

Stingy Jack

Hello babies!We would love for you to join us and turn your brain fully off for the next hour. The world will still be crappy when you get back, but at least you'll have soothed yourself with the therapeutic voices of two dum dums. We spend a great chunk of this episode unpacking the implications of a home decorated for Halloween. On Chunch Chat, we investigate whether or not Martha Stewart's Fell Pony Banchunch is a DUD. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Gustave (crocodile)," a croc that eats ass. (Sorry, I have been notified that he eats the rest of the body too.) 

Gustave (crocodile)

Hello :cough: babies!
The strike is over, but we're not celebrating yet - Lisa finally got Covid and feels pretty crappy. Emily still hasn't been infected however! That means Emily and Rob are in the running for the last people on earth who still haven't gotten it. Emily helps Lisa recuperate by suggesting YouTube game show compilations. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Daughter from California syndrome," Something Emily and Lisa definitely both contracted from birth.

Daughter From California Syndrome

Hello babies!
On today's unintentionally culinarily oriented episode, we're discussing all the things that make food great. Does maple syrup count as a "sauce?" Does a clean refrigerator improve your quality of life? Do cast iron pans increase your iron levels? On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia article for "Ranch Dressing," a savory, creamy American salad dressing usually made from buttermilk, salt, garlic, onion, mustard, herbs (commonly chives, parsley and dill), and spices (commonly pepper, paprika and ground mustard seed) mixed into a sauce based on mayonnaise or another oil emulsion.

Ranch Dressing

Hello babies!
Thank you for listening to Baby Geniuses, the Show for You. On this episode of Your Show, Lisa Went to the Beyoncé concert last night and her favorite moment of the evening surprisingly didn't involve the gigantic silver horse. Emily spied on a potential scabbing situation in her neighborhood and lived to tell about it. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "TV-B-Gone," a universal remote control device for turning off a large majority—about 85%—of the available brands of television sets in 2015. If you're listening to this in 2023, I can't make any promises about it's efficacy.

TV-B-Gone

Hello babies!
this week, we're shining a light on fashion's seedy underbelly - this is a tale of plagiarism and deleted Instagram accounts. Emily takes on a local designer and lives to tell the tale. On Chunch Chat, we touch on the biggest Britney news story this week - she's horse shopping!! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Roy and Silo," a gay millennial Manhattanite couple with the kind of Central Park views money can't buy.

Roy and Silo

Hello babies!
Summer is officially here, and we're on the hunt for the perfect place to sit! We don't want to talk about the big movie of the moment, so we're discussing an A24 horror flick and a farce book. On Chunch Chat, Martha shows off her hoses. No, that is not a typo. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Jizz (birding). No, that is not a typo. Emily and Lisa are expected to be world class Jizz Wailers by the time this episode is released.

Jizz (birding)

Hello babies!
We're still striking - and we just got some very attractive reinforcements! Related: We're celebrating some unexpected allies this week, including Jeopardy! champions. On Chunch Chat, Martha says some characteristically out-of-touch stuff. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Friendly Floatees spill," an event that disturbed environmentalists and delighted oceanographers.

Friendly Floatees Spill

Hello babies!
Hope all you American babies had a lovely July 4th, and your dogs aren't too traumatized. Lisa and Emily both visited family, in the midwest and east coast respectively. It sounded like their trips were not unlike my kitchen cabinets (a bit too muggy). On Chunch Chat, Martha supplies us with a clapback that we hope to be able to use one day. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Beaver Drop," a program that involved moving 76 beavers by airplane and parachuting them to new areas in Central Idaho.

Beaver Drop

Hello babies!

Let's get this out of the way - even a genius can make a mistake. In this episode, Lisa says that the new Mission Impossible movie is coming out this week. She is not a liar and she is NOT a time traveler. It was simply a goof. Please don't pester her by commenting the correct release date of July 12th on her social media posts. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Straw Hat Riot," a riot that occurred in New York City at the end of the summer as a result of unwritten rules in men's fashions at the time.

Straw Hat Riot

Hello babies!
Or should I say, hola bebés? Lisa shares some stories from her Zoom Spanish class, which is taught by quite the bromista (prankster in Spanish, according to Google). Emily had a little scare with her dog Alan, but he is totally fine. On Chunch Chat, the only segment about Martha Stewart's horse Banchunch in the entire world of podcasting, we try to figure out if Martha soft launched a boyfriend? On Wiki of the Week, we have a rare double feature! We read the Wikipedia pages for "Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe" and "Garlic Is as Good as Ten Mothers," which are both shorts by documentary filmmaker Wes Blank.

Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe/Garlic Is As Good As Ten Mothers

Hello babies!
We're still on strike, so if you see us picketing please don't honk - it scares the horses. Emily visited her old preschool, and tries to remember anything she learned. On Chunch Chat, Martha is living her best life. If you have a male partner under the age of 60, please keep your eye on him. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Avril Lavigne replacement conspiracy theory," which makes me wonder if I was replaced. as I don't look that much like I did in 2002 either.

Avril Lavigne Replacement Conspiracy Theory

Hello babies!The WGA is currently on strike, so we're reporting live from the picket lines. We're critiquing picket signs and recapping some of the more interesting run ins we've experienced. When we're not fighting for a fair wage for writers, we're discussing a particularly creepy crawly example of hobby drama. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Mongolian death worm," a creature alleged to exist in the Gobi Desert, however no evidence has ever been found to support this belief. 

Mongolian death worm

Hello babies! 
We're using today's episode as a chance to catch up and finally respond to some of your emails, from IUDs to ice cream. On Chunch Chat, we're talking horses and horsepower.  On Wiki of the Week, we read the WIkipedia page for Baby Train, a legend about a certain small town that had an unusually high birth rate due to a certain nocturnal situation.

Baby Train

Hello babies!
Emily just got back from Aspen, where she screened her new short film and rediscovered her appreciation for oxygen. Lisa is also short of breath, mostly because she is working on developing an appreciation for horror movies. On Chunch Chat, we learn about the collectable artisan basket world. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Kuchisake-onna," or "Slit-Mouthed Woman," a malevolent figure in Japanese urban legends and folklore. Don't miss this one - we teach you how to escape her deadly grasp via subtle negging.

Kuchisake-onna

Hello babies! 

Thanks for tuning into the show where, despite doing this show for over a decade, we still struggle to remember how we start the darn thing every time. On today's ep, Lisa gets her hands dirty and grows jealous of Emily's pergola. They both share some long awaited Love Island thoughts, and we dive into some relevant Martha-adjacent news on Chunch Chat. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Hokey Pokey," also known as Hokey Cokey in the United Kingdom and the Caribbean, which is a campfire song and participation dance with a distinctive accompanying tune and lyric structure.

Hokey Pokey

Hello babies!
It's still MaxFunDrive 2023, so you know what that means! If you're a member, you get access to a VERY special bonus episode. But, but... This episode is special too! 

(...can I talk to you for a minute over there, where the Candy Desk episode can't hear us? Great - I need you to know something. The Candy Desk episode is swell. It's actually a bonus episode too. It's one more episode than you'd normally get this month, but it's just a run of the mill standard format episode. Don't let Candy Desk know that I said that. What you want to be listening to is the REAL BONUS episode, that only MaxFun members can listen to. It's called Lightning Round of Hot Truth Takes Dome, and it's a laugh riot.)

On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Candy Desk, "a tradition of the United States Senate since 1965, whereby a senator who sits at a particular desk near a busy entrance keeps a drawer full of candy for members of the body." 

...Candy Desk episode is right behind me, isn't it..?

Candy Desk

Hello babies!

It's MaxFunDrive 2023, and we're pulling all the stops! Emily shares her experience in the limelight at the WGA Awards, and Lisa struggles to find something to share during Chunch Chat. Also - is Emily's dog named after a Roman demigod? On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Extremely Online," a phrase referring to someone closely engaged with Internet culture.

Extremely Online

Hello babies!
We are hot off the heels of the WGA Awards, and we have all the red carpet gossip! (Editor's note: This was recorded the day before the awards, so we actually pretty much talk about Love Island and Jeopardy and Horses or whatever) On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Panty Raid, which "was an American college prank of the 1950s and early 1960s in which groups of male students attempted to invade the living quarters of female students and steal their panties (undergarments) as the trophies."

Panty Raid

Hello babies!
In case you were wondering, neither of us has seen a whale or a dolphin recently. We have tried but failed. However, we do have some escaped domestic animal stories that we'd love to share! Emily ate a disappointing meal and Lisa shared the joy of horses with her friends. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "The Hum," a name often given to widespread reports of a persistent and invasive low-frequency humming, rumbling, or droning noise audible to many but not all people.

The Hum

Hello babies!
You've all been asking for it (seriously) - we're now officially an anal fissure themed podcast! I went into the podcast hosting settings to change our show's category from "Comedy" to "Anal Fissures (Discussion)" but it was surprisingly not available as a category anymore. On Chunch Chat, we talk about Martha's inability to hashtag correctly. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Christmas in July," an incredibly unseasonable submission.

Christmas in July

Hello babies!Welcome to another very special episode of Baby Geniuses: After Dark. We'll be discussing all of the topics that are off limits when that prudish sun is in the sky. Emily will be showing off her new bra, and Lisa reveals what she read in her roommate's diary. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "List of individual pigs," a rather incomplete compendium.

List of Individual Pigs

Hello babies!
We're stepping into the New Year by trying out some new styles. Who cares if we need to get fully undressed to pee every 45 minutes? In addition to refreshing our wardrobes, we're also giving our timelines a refresh by subscribing to some new Subreddits. On Chunch Chat, we discuss a very pixelated gecko. And on Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Neuticles," prosthetic testicular implants for neutered dogs and other domestic animals. Humans cannot legally get Neuticles, but I'm consulting a lawyer regarding the legality of having authentic dog testicles implanted.

Neuticles

Hello Christmas babies!
We have a VERY special holiday episode in store for you. Lisa just got back from a rodeo in Vegas, which was alto attended by some of the worst people in the world. Emily went to a live taping of what I consider a rodeo of the mind. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Caesar salad."

Caesar SaladCaesar SaladCeasar Salad

Hello babies!
Travel Correspondent Emily reports on her recent visit to the Forestiere Underground Gardens in Fresno, CA that were featured on our Hobby Tunneling episode. In other geological explorations, boulder holders are discussed as well. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Anasyrma," which may be a deliberately provocative self-exposing of one's naked genitals or buttocks.

Anasyrma

Hello babies!
We're engaging in some light celebrity schadenfreude this week! Some of our least favorite personalities showed their true colors recently during our local election cycle, and their billionaire du jour lost. On today's episode, we play some classic TV fuck/marry/kill. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Clock of the Long Now," a mechanical clock under construction that is designed to keep time for 10,000 years.

Clock of the Long Now

Hello babies!
If you are Emily's pen pal, we hope you enjoy this episode! On today's edition of Baby Geniuses, Lisa shares some sad news and we make assumptions about Mr. Bean's sex life. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "The Bottle Conjuror," an anonymous theatrical performer who probably never existed.

The Bottle Conjuror

Hello babies!
Make sure you get out and vote! This, like probably every election for the rest of our dumb little lives, is an important one. Check out Partner of the Pod Adam Conover's voting guide if you're in the LA area! On Chunch Chat, we discuss golden horse feet. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Walburga Oesterreich," aka "Queen of Los Angeles", who gained notoriety for the shooting death of her husband and the subsequent bizarre revelation that she had kept her lover, Otto Sanhuber, hidden in the attic of the home she shared with her husband for ten years.

Walburga Oesterreich

Hello babies!
Emily is diving head first into Boston Legal, and we're starting to get concerned. She is exclusively wearing pinstriped power suits and has started saying inappropriate things to our young female paralegals. We're also looking to be connected with someone from an english muffin manufacturer, we have some pressing questions. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Roy Sullivan, a man recognized by Guinness World Records as the person struck by lightning more recorded times than any other human being.

Roy Sullivan

Hello babies!
On today's ep, Emily has an anti Endorse-Horse about a live action remake, and Lisa is riding her horse through your neighborhood and she does not need to explain her actions. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Godfrey's Cordial," a patent medicine, containing laudanum (tincture of opium) in a sweet syrup, which was commonly used as a sedative to quiet infants and children in Victorian England. 

Editor's note: here's some info about that secret ingredient in Emily's imported toothpaste 
https://medium.com/@ravenstine/the-curious-history-of-novamin-toothpaste-620c6bef8881

Godfrey's Cordial

Hello babies!
On today's ep, Emily is fresh off the red carpet with another one of her classic looks, and Lisa spent a few nights in an apartment that wasn't recently vacuumed. On Chunch Chat, Martha shares an actual Chunch update for once. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Baseball Rubbing Mud," or mud used to treat balls in the sport of baseball to give pitchers better control and a firmer grip on the balls.

Baseball Rubbing Mud

Hello babies!
We recorded this episode before the heatwave caused us to melt into a single puddle of podcast host. On today's ep, Emily has a wardrobe malfunction. On Chunch Chat, Martha wears inappropriate footwear and stands next to a horse that doesn't belong to her. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia pages for "Deep Scattering Layer" and "Benson (Fish)." Please email us your favorite lanternfish recipe!

Deep Scattering Layer/Benson (Fish)

Hello babies!
Our fantastic podcast just turned ten! Whether you've been with us from the start or are a new listener, we appreciate you for joining us every other week! On today's special decennial episode, you can expect more of the same as ever. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Truck Nuts," also spelled truck nutz, vehicular vanity accessories resembling a dangling scrotum.

Truck Nuts

Hello babies!
If it seems like we are slowly transitioning into an animal update podcast, you should know that this has always been an animal update podcast. On today's episode, Emily gives us some caterpillar news, and Lisa shares some post-horsepital Juni info.
On Chunch Chat, Martha says goodbye to some very expensive and funky friends. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Polari, "a form of slang or cant used in Britain and Ireland by some actors, circus and fairground showmen, professional wrestlers, merchant navy sailors, criminals, sex workers, and the gay subculture."

Polari

Hello babies!
How do you feel about self-checkout at stores? We were shocked by the abundance of positive sentiment online. Please share your feelings with us either way! On today's ep, Lisa tries to convince Emily to adopt her hobbies, and Emily reveals her shoe size. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Cynthia (Gaba girl), an unusually natural and human looking mannequin.

Cynthia (Gaba girl)

Hello babies!
Another day, another chance for Joey to show up to the recording session, and another heartbreak. On today's ep, we respond to some listener emails and clear up some confusion about who and what Alan is. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Fools Errand," a or VERY problematic and TOXIC prank.

Fool's Errand

Hello babies!
We're getting ready for summer by fostering butterflies and sending passive aggressive messages to our neighbors. On today's episode, we discuss the magic of FAO Schwarz and a still valid 90's celebrity crush. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Banana peel," that yellowy outer covering of the banana fruit that we all can't get enough of.

Banana Peel

Hello babies!
Breathing in, I smile. Breathing in, something something. Breathing out, this supreme moment. Yes! Yes! Yes! On today's episode, we plan ways to tank our WikiFeet ranking, and try to remember what we learned about caterpillars in elementary school. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Blue Whale of Catoosa," a waterfront structure that is shaped as you might imagine.

Blue Whale of Catoosa

Hello babies!
We are breaking rank with fellow A List celebs Kim and Gwyneth and telling you not to vote for Rick Caruso. Emily got sick but it is NOT Covid, so we're chatting about some of our favorite sick day TV habits.  On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Channel Drift," the gradual shift of a television network away from its original programming, to either target a newer and more profitable audience, or to broaden its viewership by including less niche programming. Basically like how this podcast used to be about something other than Selling Sunset.

Channel Drift

Hello babies!
We're getting out a bit more, thankfully. Emily went to a family reunion in West Virginia and stayed at a very strange hotel, and Lisa is playing pool with horses or something. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia pages for "List of Bad Luck Signs" and "List of Lucky Symbols," in celebration of Friday the 13th last weekend. Assuming you're able to listen and didn't die in some ironic manner a few days ago.

List of Bad Luck Signs/List of Lucky Symbols

Hello babies!

It's MaxFunDrive still, so we're throwing you a bone and giving you an extra episode! NOTE: this is NOT a bonus episode! Become a member at the $5 a month level to hear bonus episodes. An extra episode is much like a regular episode. A bonus episode is much more special. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Diner lingo," a kind of American verbal slang used by cooks and chefs in diners and diner-style restaurants, and by the wait staff to communicate their orders to the cooks. Alienate yourself from your peers by dropping some of these terms casually!

Diner Lingo

Hello babies!
It's that time again - MaxFunDrive is upon us! Make sure to sign up and become a member if you aren't already. You'll definitely want the free swag. Members this year will get a Clerkis M'derkis patch! 
On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Bob Geary (police officer)," a former officer in the San Francisco Police Department who gained notoriety as the subject of a ballot initiative to allow him to take his ventriloquist's dummy, Brendan O'Smarty, on foot patrol.

Bob Geary (police officer)

Hello babies!
You are cordially invited to join Emily and Lisa for their fanciest episode yet. This is the first "formal attire required" podcast experience ever, so please don't listen unless you're wearing at least one monocle. Lisa just got back from Paris, and Emily is planning a trip to a "fancy old golf hotel with a secret nuclear bunker." And if you think our gastronomy is anything but molecular? Well, we kindly ask you to fuck off. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Ann Elizabeth Fowler Hodges," who was an American woman known for being the first documented individual to not only be struck by a meteorite, but also live through the encounter.

Ann Elizabeth Fowler Hodges

Hello babies!Neil Degrasse Tyson here, letting you to know that the so called "Baby Geniuses" are simply two adult women of average intelligence. On today's episode, Emily shares some important results and Lisa struggles with a hat.On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Hollywood Freeway chickens," a colony of feral chickens that live under the Vineland Avenue off-ramp of the Hollywood Freeway (U.S. Route 101) in Los Angeles, California. Finally, an explanation for why the Star Map I purchased recently was so hard to read.

Hollywood Freeway Chickens

Hello babies!
Our love of land mammals is well documented, but on today's episode, we dip a (very attractive) toe into the world of aquatic mammals! Emily went whale watching recently, and Lisa appreciates a productivity tip from a previous episode. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Spaghetti-tree hoax," a reminder that we might take our current base line culinary knowledge for granted.

Spaghetti-tree Hoax

Hello babies! 
This week, we're focused on one thing: bumping our wikiFeet scores! Get on there and give us the scores we deserve! Five stars only! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Garden hermits." Garden hermits or ornamental hermits were hermits encouraged to live in purpose-built hermitages, follies, grottoes, or rockeries on the estates of wealthy landowners, primarily during the 18th century. Kinda like Kendall Roy's birthday party, but non stop.

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Garden hermit

Hello babies!
We're not having a great week, but feel free to revel in our misery! Emily had a hard time at work and Lisa's had a difficult time taking her horse's temperature. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Society for Indecency to Naked Animals," a satirical hoax concocted by serial prankster Alan Abel. All jokes aside, I bet Lisa's horse is reconsidering the nudity thing this week!

Society for Indecency to Naked Animals

Hello babies!
The Santa Ana winds are forcing us to have some difficult conversations this week. We now know more about umbrella warranties than we would have previously cared to. On Chunch Chat, we learn that Martha Stewart feels differently about eating ostrich eggs than we do. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Fictitious entry," or deliberately incorrect entries in reference works such as dictionaries, encyclopedias, maps, and directories. Is this episode summary a Mountweazel? Listen to find out!

Fictitious Entry

Hello babies! 
This is the first episode we've recorded in 2022, and you won't be shocked to hear that we're totally new people! On today's episode, we talk about horses and plants. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Timothy Dexter. If you're interested in learning about a bear enthusiast, I suggest you read the Wikipedia page for Timothy Treadwell instead. Timothy Dexter was an American businessman. His affinity for bears is not noteworthy in the slightest.

Timothy Dexter

Hello babies!Welcome to 2022, a fresh start awaits! Lisa is trying to be a bit more bilingual, and Emily is still trying to understand why her neighbors are so awful. They also discuss some of their least favorite holiday films. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Automobile Folklore," a list of the diverse customs and superstitions linked to that four wheeled vehicle we all love.

Automobile Folklore

Hello babies!
The holiday season is in full effect, so we have an extra cozy episode in store for you! On today's nog flavored episode, we have a very special Gävle Goat update. We also check in with Martha Stewart, who has treated herself to some new friesian horses. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Snap-dragon (game). Snap-dragon (also known as Flap-dragon, Snapdragon, or Flapdragon) was a parlour game popular from about the 16th century. Impress your friends by saying "A Flap-dragon for your service, Sir!"

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Snap-dragon (game)

Hello babies!
Thank you for listening to our podcast, which is technically STEAM education. On today's episode, Lisa sits next to a rude passenger on a flight, and Emily's dog Alan is doing better. On Chunch Chat, we judge Martha's recent exploits. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Vulcana," an early fitness influencer. Miriam Kate Williams (6 May 1874 – 8 August 1946) sometimes called Kate Roberts and better known by her stage name Vulcana, was a Welsh strongwoman born of Irish parents in Abergavenny, Monmouthshire.

Vulcana

Hello babies!On today's episode, a mean child from the day care next door broke Emily's skeleton. Just to clarify, I mean her artificial novelty Halloween decoration skeleton. Also, Lisa had some public impure thoughts about Tom and Cousin Greg from Succession.On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Hobby Tunneling," tunnel construction as a diversion. Usually, hobby tunnelers dig their tunnels by hand, using little equipment, and some can spend years or even decades to achieve any degree of completion. In some cases tunnels have been dug secretly, and only discovered by chance. 

Hobby Tunneling

Hello babies!What does November mean to you? Is it the start of the Holiday season, or is it a time of... retention? When the leaves change and start to fall, does your mind turn to gift wrap or no fap? Chestnut or no nut? On today's episode, Emily shares the story of her recent car accident. Tune in to find out how she's doing! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Stoor Worm, a gigantic evil sea serpent of Orcadian folklore, capable of contaminating plants and destroying animals and humans with its putrid breath.

Stoor Worm

Hello babies!

On today's episode, Lisa experiences jury duty, and we explain why you should care about this IATSE stuff. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Xtabay, a Yucatec Maya myth about the female demon (and role model?), Xtabay, a supernatural femme fatale who preys upon men in the Yucatán Peninsula.

Xtabay

Happy MaxFun Block Party, babies!

And a special welcome to all the new babies out there! This episode is made with the new listener in mind. If you're a long time listener, don't fret! There will be plenty for you to enjoy. On Wiki of the Week, we read the most requested Wikipedia page that we've already read. "Le Pétomane was a French flatulist (professional farter) and entertainer. He was famous for his remarkable control of the abdominal muscles, which enabled him to seemingly fart at will. His stage name combines the French verb péter, "to fart" with the -mane, "-maniac" suffix, which translates to "fartomaniac". The profession is referred to as "flatulist", "farteur", or "fartiste".

Make sure to check out other very high quality Maximum Fun podcasts this week - everyone is making episodes focused on new listeners. Maybe there's a show that sounds interesting, but you don't exactly know where to start? This is the week to dive in!

Le Pétomane

Hello babies!

First things first, If you're a member of IATSE, we encourage you to vote yes on the strike! On today's episode, we discuss the interesting Super Mario Bros: The Movie casting choices. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Ashrita Furman, the holder of the Guinness world record for the most Guinness world records.

Ashrita Furman

Hello babies!

It's starting to feel like Autumn, so maybe load your dog in a pram and go for a stroll? On today's episode, Lisa narrowly avoids an interaction and Emily's husband has regained his sense of taste. We also recap who on White Lotus is the most hateworthy. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Frog Battery," an electrochemical battery consisting of a number of dead frogs (or sometimes live ones), which form the cells of the battery connected in a series arrangement. It is a kind of biobattery.

Frog Battery

Hello babies!
A special greetings to our new co-host Ringo, who has taken over for Joey. Joey is unavailable for comment. On today's episode, we answer some of our more pressing fan submitted questions and Emily vents about a stranger child. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Human Mail, or, "the transportation of a person through the postal system, usually as a stowaway. While rare, there have been some reported cases of people attempting to travel through the mail." Hey, beats flying Spirit Airlines!

Human Mail

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And a special greeting to all our enemy neighbors. On today's episode, we discuss Emily's recent covid encounter, as well as a Tuca & Bertie update! On Chunch Chat, Lisa brags about a horse that she knows (Beyoncé rode it!). On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for The Burryman, a guy with too much shit on him.

The Burryman

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We're back to recording remotely again FYI! Emily went to a party where she was potentially exposed to Covid. Go get vaccinated please! On today's episode, Lisa explains what an honest horse is and Emily is still talking about Friends. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Dusty the Klepto Kitty," a cat with real star power that will steal your dish towels and your heart.

Dusty the Klepto Kitty

Hello babies!Welcome to the Baby Genius Car Corner! We're talking all things automotive - Vroom Vroom! Emily gets her car washed a couple times after being utterly decimated by some large birds. We recap the newest installment in the Fast & The Furious saga, and Lisa lusts after a horse of a different color - a black Ford Bronco! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Karolina Olsson," a Swedish woman who purportedly remained in hibernation between 1876 and 1908 (32 years). To put that in perspective for our listeners, that's roughly the entire run of the hit television series The Simpsons.

Karolina Olsson

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We hope all of our lovely listeners had a wonderful ID4. On today's ep, Lisa shares her thoughts on a recent viewing of the very bad film 500 Days of Summer. On Chunch Chat, we're wishing Martha a speedy recovery from her recent injury. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Dashcon", a convention for Tumblr users featuring a less than awe inspiring ball pit.

Dashcon

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We finally got around to watching the Friends reunion special and we have some thoughts. Lisa is recovering from surgery and recaps some of her experiences. We also discuss what Olympic event we'd love to be great at. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Unusual eBay Listings." We're brainstorming weird things that Golden Palace Dot Com might want to purchase.

Unusual eBay Listings

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We're really enjoying recording in person, and we hope you find us more charming than ever! Go get vaxxed up so you can safely record your podcast with your friends too. On this episode, we design a new t shirt, so make sure to listen to this ep so you're in on the joke. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Pepsi Number Fever. Numbers were hotter than ever in 1992!

Pepsi Number Fever

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On today's episode, we announce the winner of our Fatali Hot Sauce Raffle! Make sure to tune in if you entered. It's our first in person episode since the start of the pandemic, so we're shaking off some cobwebs! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Dustin the Turkey, an Irish puppet.

Dustin the Turkey

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It's MaxFunDrive! Head over to maximumfun.org and upgrade your membership or become a member if you aren't one already! Help support the creators that make your days brighter. We have dogs and a horse and a podcast producer that all need grooming! On today's episode, we read the Wikipedia page for Great Michigan Pizza Funeral, a rather savvy business decision. Funerals have the potential to be fun as long as nobody dies and there's lots of pizza.

Great Michigan Pizza Funeral

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What a week! On today's episode, Emily tracks a package and Lisa spills some soup. On Chunch Chat, the segment about Martha Stewart's pony Ban Chunch, we read some listener submitted business names. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Salmon Chaos, a very recent event where people changed their names to get free sushi. Rob Salmon has a nice ring to it and I have no regrets.

Salmon Chaos

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Thank you for listening to this show, even if you just love falling asleep to the sound of our voices! On today's episode, Emily shares a strange experience with a neighbor, and Lisa has a frightening horse experience. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "List of CB Slang," a great guide if you're an aspiring Alligator Station (look it up)!

List of CB Slang

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Now that the possibility of a safe Halloween is on the distant horizon, Emily has started planning her couple's costume. She also shares some of her thoughts on the very bad comic Heathcliff. Lisa shares her thoughts on an issue of a magazine. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Loveland frog," a legendary man-sized frog in Ohio folklore.

Loveland Frog

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On today’s episode, Lisa shares about her upcoming surgery, as well as thoughts on Australia’s penis owl.  Emily's dog Alan is out of surgery and has a racy new outfit. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Billiken, a charm doll created by an American art teacher and illustrator, who is said to have seen the mysterious figure in a dream. I don't like the way it looks.

Billiken

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Sometimes it feels great to pack up and go for a hike with your feline companion. Sometimes you just want to practice your whip technique. All is fair game in Griffith Park! On today's episode, Lisa shares some stories from the trail, and Emily's dog eats maybe a nut or a stone fruit pit. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Australia's big things," a loosely related set of large structures, some of which are novelty architecture and some are sculptures. This list is incomplete as it does not include Paul Hogan's knife.

Australia's Big Things

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It's a big day in Baby Geniuses history. This will be the episode you will all remember as "the one where Emily releases the sauce info."

On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Nutty Narrows Bridge, a bridge for squirrels and the world's narrowest animal crossing (citation needed).

Nutty Narrows Bridge

Welcome to Baby Geniuses!

Or Hello Babies! Or however this usually goes! We start the show off by reading some letters sent in by listeners just like you. We also give a quick update on our hot sauce saga - a listener followed the clues and identified the sauce! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Computer Rage," and I silently but spiritedly nod in agreement in as Lisa complains about her Macbook's touch bar.

Computer Rage

Hello babies!The last time we recorded was before the Georgia runoff elections, so we have some stuff to talk about. For example, we find out what Joey has been up to. On this episode, Emily considers sending an email about hot sauce. On Chunch Chat, we discuss whether Martha needs to read the room or not. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Fascinus,” the embodiment of the divine phallus. This one requires an image search.

Fascinus

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We're proud to announce that CostnerWatch 2020 is officially over, and there will be no CostnerWatch 2021! On today's episode, we finally get to discuss the Hilaria Baldwin debacle. On a very special double Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia pages "Jimmy Carter Rabbit Incident" as well as "Puzzle Jug." They aren't related at all, we just liked them both!

Jimmy Carter Rabbit Incident/Puzzle Jug

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Happy holidays to all the babies of the world! On today's episode, we discuss bits that people do at home to the chagrin of their partners. Also, we introduce Joey, our newest host. Let's see how long he lasts! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Kitty Fisher, an 18th century Kardashian type.

Kitty Fisher

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Welcome to that wonderful gap between Thanksgiving and Christmas, also known as the valley of missing productivity! Lisa is deep into Costnerwatch 2020 (roughly 25 films), and Emily admits an early crush. On Wiki of the Week, we read a wiki page for "McDonald's Characters," a list of some of the worst characters in fiction.

McDonald's Characters

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Happy Thanksgiving! We can't wait to see our friends and family this week - Daphne, Marty, Eddie, Frasier, Niles, the whole Crane gang. We are also looking forward to seeing our actual relatives over Zoom, because it's a pandemic and we're not traveling! On today's ep, we read the Wikipedia page for Worm Charming (also known as worm grunting or worm fiddling), methods of attracting worms from the ground. Gotta get them out of the earth somehow!

Worm Charming

Congrats babies!
Thank you for voting! On today's ep, we share our feelings about the recent election. We also touch on important topics like Kevin Costner movies and gardening updates. On Chunch Chat, Martha's cat makes an appearance. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Crime in Antarctica." It's a pretty short list.

Crime in Antarctica

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It's the spookiest time of year again! It's also the last episode before the election, so please make sure to vote so we are happy on the next episode. On this episode, we talk costumes, Borat, and rollerskates! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Robert Coates (actor), an actor who was so bad we're still talking about him hundreds of years later.

Robert Coates (actor)

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What an interesting week - Emily finally got a pStyle! She is getting the hang of it but needs a little practice. On Chunch Chat, Lisa is overjoyed by Martha's five Sicilian donkeys. 
On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Mr. Blobby," a bulbous pink figure covered with yellow spots, he has a permanent toothy grin and green jiggling eyes. Mr Blobby communicates only by saying the word "blobby" in an electronically altered voice, expressing his moods through tone of voice and repetition. He topped the UK Singles Chart with the 1993 Christmas release "Mr Blobby".

Mr. Blobby

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Too much has been happening lately and we've had it up to here with all the events! On today's episode, Emily has a unique fundraising strategy and Lisa reads a great goose email. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "List of Sandwiches," an almost comprehensive list of - you guessed it - sandwiches.

List of Sandwiches

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As if we needed more reason to not leave our homes, our portion of the continent is on fire! Anyways, listen to this podcast and just breathe less often. On today's episode, we decompress a bit and talk about horse riding technique. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Egg War. As bad as things are now, I wouldn't trade my life for that of a 19th century egger.  Stay tuned for the Shyamalanian twist ending to our podcast.

Egg War

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So glad to provide you with another great podcast episode to memorize and speak along with! I suggest slowing down the recording, it helps make learning all the words easier. On today's episode, we have to issue a correction because an "INTP Brony" had a little too much fun online. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Alvin 'Shipwreck' Kelly,"   an esteemed professional flagpole sitter. I write podcast episode descriptions for a living so I'll refrain from criticizing his career choice.

Alvin "Shipwreck" Kelly

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We all deal with difficulty in different ways - some people pick up hobbies to help distract. Lisa has taken up rollerskating, and Emily watched the 90s sitcom Just Shoot Me in its entirety. Tune in to hear our thoughts on both! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Giulia Tofana, an Italian professional poisoner and role model.

Giulia Tofana

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It's still MaxFunDrive 2020! Go become a member and support your favorite podcasts! If you have the extra dough, consider gifting a membership to someone who has lost income due to the pandemic.

On today's episode, we read the Wikipedia page for Nils Olav, a king penguin who resides in Edinburgh Zoo, Scotland. Please go to this page and observe his great posture.

Nils Olav

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It's MaxFunDrive time again! Head on over to maximumfun.org to become a member and to support your favorite babies. Check out the Endorse Horse pin! On today's episode, we discuss gross jam and millennial business people. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Tristan da Cunha, a remote group of volcanic islands in the south Atlantic Ocean.

Tristan da Cunha

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Hope your Independence Day made you feel really really free! On today's episode, Lisa talks about a former friend who was called out, and Emily talks about Columbo. On Chunch Chat, we hear about Kim Kardashian's 14 Freesian [sic] horses. On Wiki of the Shark Week, we don't read a Wikipedia page. We read a list page titled Top Euphemisms For "Period" By Language.

Top Euphemisms For "Period" By Language

Hello Babies!

Thank you for listening to the only good podcast where the listeners are referred to as babies. Where do you keep your worms? On today's episode, Emily try to figure out where her worms should live and Lisa watches a Succession cast livestream. On Chunch Chat, Martha has some somber news. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars," a fever dream of an animated film.

The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars

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We stand with the Black Lives Matter movement, and encourage our listeners to visit blacklivesmatter.com to learn more about how to actually make a difference. 

We also think Baby Geniuses listeners might be inclined to donate here: gofundme.com/f/saddle-up-and-read-fundraiser  

Anyways, we still made an episode of our dumb podcast. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Elizabeth Klarer, a South African alleged "contactee" and one of the first women to claim a sexual relationship with an extraterrestrial.

Elizabeth Klarer

Hello babies!
Have you heard the news that leaked? Tuca & Bertie are back for a second season! Our babies have become unintentional fashion trendsetters, when a celeb steps out in an outfit Lisa and Emily envisioned years ago. Also on today's episode, Emily has an encounter with a child who stepped on her flowers, and Lisa turns away some horse window shoppers. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "WWF Brawl for All," a shootfighting tournament held in the World Wrestling Federation that lasted from June 29, 1998 to August 24, 1998. Turns out there are repercussions when you let very strong people actually clobber each other.

WWF Brawl for All

Hello babies!
Now that quarantine is all we know, we're getting better at this remote podcasting thing. We've been reading more and watching even more TV (imagine that!) and we'd love to share some of our picks with you! Quarantine has inspired more listeners than ever to share butt pics, so make sure to stay tuned till the rear end of the episode! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Grunge Speak, a hoax slang that made it's way into the New York Times. Harsh realm!