The Greatest Generation

The Greatest Generation

By Adam Pranica and Benjamin Harrison review Star Trek

A Star Trek podcast by two guys who are a bit embarrassed to have a Star Trek podcast. After reviewing all of Star Trek: The Next Generation, we're reviewing Star Trek: Deep Space Nine from beginning to end! New episodes on Mondays. Also check out The Greatest Discovery!

Episodes

The Brown Eye to Cardassia Prime (DS9 S6E26)

When the stores on DS9 start stocking the shelves for the Gratitude Festival earlier and earlier every year, only a big confrontation between the Pah Wraiths and the Prophets can set things straight. But when The Sisko’s mission to savagely thrust into the very heart of the Dominion comes in conflict with the will of the prophets, he’ll have to defy them to keep his pips. What is Admiral Beltbuckle’s job? In what decade does Worf’s exercise program take place? Are Quark and Bashir friends? It’s the episode that’s like manga: it’s good in a pinch.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow The Greatest Generation on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
10/08/201h 28m

This Charm is a Bucket (DS9 S6E25)

When the captain of a Federation ship crash lands on a distant planet, it’s up to the Little D to truck it out there on a rescue mission. But when there’s a long way to go and a short time to get there, no one is sure if they will make it in time to save her life. What do we do about our unchecked boxes? Why do felons have bridge privileges? Which sets are the wet sets? It’s the episode that ends MaxFunDrive 2020!
03/08/201h 3m

Cro-Magmolly (DS9 S6E24)

When Molly O’Brien falls in Ghostbusters 2 goo, she grows up real quick. But when Miles and Keiko can’t convince her to share her toys, they’ll have to let her fly free to show their love. When your civilization dies out, what’s the etiquette about turning off all your technology? What kinds of cereals were available three hundred years in the past? Can Odo shoot? It’s the episode where, for good measure, we sit on this.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow The Greatest Generation on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
27/07/201h 14m

Novelty Sombrero (DS9 S6E23)

When Quark has to attend an important business meeting, Dr. Bashir helps him prepare. But when the “flash cards” he’s been given become less of a benefit and more of a distraction, the future of Ferengi female liberation is put into doubt. Is “Margot Tennenbaum” a compliment? How low should Ferengi dresses go? Are there ANY limits to Dr. Bashir’s medical practice? It’s the episode that cranks up the white noise machines!
20/07/201h 7m

There’s No Uhuras in Red Squad (DS9 S6E22)

When a Noh-Jay Consortium business trip runs afoul of a Jem’Hadar attack wing, only the Little V can save them. But when the no grownups allowed crew start to indoctrinate Nog, it’s up to Jake Sisko, boy reporter, to bring everyone back to their senses. What’s the big deal about sunrise on the moon? Don’t those pills belong in a museum? What amenities are available in a Starfleet escape pod? It’s the episode that is thermally cool, but not socially cool.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow The Greatest Generation on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
13/07/201h 19m

Bajoran Ragnarok (DS9 S6E21)

When Captain Sisko steals an ancient stone tablet from Bajor, it becomes a problem both diplomatically and conversationally. But when he decides the relic belongs smashed on the ground and not in a museum, its destruction triggers an ancient conflict that threatens Major Kira, Jake, and the station itself. What does the Betazoid military wear to battle? Why are people buying one-armed busts? How old is too old for a trundle bed? It’s the episode that serves up the jokes hot and ready!
06/07/201h 14m

Nodding on the One and the Three (DS9 S6E20)

When Dr. Bashir brings the whole team to check out his new holosuite program, he unwittingly puts Odo on a collision course for Kira’s heart. But when the star of the program becomes the only person Odo can turn to for dating advice, the flowering relationship is a little bit Minuet and a little bit Moriarty. Is Vic fully functional and programmed in multiple techniques? How much have these holo-babes had to drink? Do the writers just want to quit doing Trek and make a show about the 50s?c It’s the one where our wive’s future husbands are reincarnated.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow The Greatest Generation on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
29/06/201h 10m

Casualty Friday (DS9 S6E19)

When Captain Sisko gets interviewed by Errol Morris for a documentary about the Dominion War, it’s a chance for him to get everything off his chest. But when Sisko’s choice of conspiracy partners goes off-script, their plan will have explosive consequences. What’s the greatest distance ever measured? How evident is criminality on a hardness scale? How many vowels does it take to ruin a performance? It’s the episode that is fastidious about dental hygiene, but no other kind of hygiene.
22/06/201h 4m

Kayakodone (DS9 S6E18)

When Dr. Bashir tries to duck out for a medical conference, Starfleet Internal Affairs probably saves his life by screwing up his plans. But when the hard nosed investigator seems to focus all the scrutiny on the doctor, he’ll need more than a bellyful of gagh to fight back. Does Chief O’Brien need a sponsor in KA? When do you start feeling the Kafka? Is Sloan just concerned with plot holes in old episodes? It’s the one where we pass the time by playing a little Solitaire.Donate to the Friends of DeSoto for Justice FundFollow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow The Greatest Generation on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
15/06/201h 5m

Wore Out the Netflix (DS9 S6E17)

When Major Kira has the chance to go back in time to kill Gul Dukat’s girlfriend, she jumps at the chance. But when she gets too close to the target, she must decide if her second thoughts will give her greatest enemy some second chances. Is Worf more of a Raphael, or a Leonardo? Is it still time travel if Riker doesn’t say so? Where we’re going, won’t we need rules? It’s the episode that has more mommy issues than daddy issues.
08/06/201h 8m

Tongo Cuck (DS9 S6E16)

When newlyweds Worf and Dax are ordered to take a road trip, they have a hell of a hard time agreeing on a podcast to listen to. But when O’Brien uses Dax’s absence to try to get in on Quark’s standing tongo game, Bashir will have to fall in love with a different golden substance. How do you plan a honeymoon when men are from Q’onoS, and women are from Trill? Where’s the beef between O’Brien and Quark? If you hit triangle over a Jem’Hadar, what kind of loot do they have? It’s the episode that reiterates, once and for all, that we didn’t know.🖖 Get tickets to GreatestGenKhan II: Star Trek III! 🖖Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow Adam and Ben on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
01/06/201h 12m

R U Trying to Talk Kanar RE: Damar 2 Me? (DS9 S6E15)

When Chief O’Brien goes undercover to infiltrate a multi-level crime syndicate, he begins to see the advantage of working with his friends. But when his secret identity becomes something he can’t sell, his downstream employees may be stuck holding the bag. What makes a person “look Starfleet”? Why are Bolian banks robbed so often? Do pets like to watch? It’s the episode that finally comes up with a great comic book idea!
25/05/201h 4m

Ennui About Un-Wee or Worf Poem Blueballs (DS9 S6E14)

When the Rubicon takes Dax, O’Brien and Bashir into a very chilly anomaly, the runabout and crew are subject to shrinkage. But when a marauding tick interrupts this extremely silly science, it’s up to these three pipsqueaks to save the day. What happens to Ketricel when it’s concentrated like this? Does the Dominion practice a form of federalism? How’s the soft swirl in the Defiant’s mess hall? It’s the episode where we hit, and then we run.🖖 Get tickets to GreatestGenKhan II: Star Trek III! 🖖Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow Adam and Ben on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
18/05/201h 8m

The Littler The Fruit, The Sweeter The Juice (DS9 S6E13)

When Captain Sisko begins to take the losses personally in the war against the Dominion, he questions whether or not he’s up to the task. But when he’s transported to a world where somehow things are worse, he’ll discover whether he’s “tuff enuff” for future challenges. Can you just take any lemon you can reach? What’s the worst thing you can get away with saying after inhaling helium? Is there a secret ingredient to Ben Sisko’s jambalaya? It’s the episode that’s a real student of the game!
11/05/201h 18m

May the Fourth…Suck It (DS9 S6E12)

When everyone’s favorite barfly goes to Lurian Sto’Vo’Kor, Quark secures the funeral contract, not to mention the estate of the deceased. But when he starts getting blasts from Morn’s past, he wishes he could go back to getting blasts from the hammer. How many denominations of gold pressed latinum exist? Why doesn’t Morn look human? How do you open a bank account with puke? It’s the episode where paying a teen really backfires.🖖 Get tickets to GreatestGenKhan II: Star Trek III! 🖖Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow Adam and Ben on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
04/05/201h 3m

The Best Ass in Starfleet (DS9 S6E11)

When Captain Sisko and Gul Dukat re-enact Enemy Mine, they have some real disagreements about who should play which part. But when the mission to save them repeatedly beams up a bunch of nobodies, hope may be lost before Sisko’s life. When do you get over a bad salt experience? What is the worst-designed piece of Starfleet equipment? Is Captain DeSoto a leg man? It’s the episode that is a trillion percent trustworthy!
27/04/201h 2m

This That Is My Dick (DS9 S6E10)

When the leader of the entire Ferengi Alliance puts Quark in charge of rescuing Moogie from the Dominion, he has to put together a crack team of Ferengi to aid him in the mission. But when the infiltration squad fails basic training, they revert to what they know best: making deals. Do Vulcans get a lot of work done? Why does Empok Nor have a Kangol logo? What’s the Ferengi to Jem’Hadar exchange rate? It’s the episode that calls back ALL the Ferengi.🖖 Get tickets to GreatestGenKhan II: Star Trek III! 🖖Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow Adam and Ben on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
20/04/201h 7m

Thirsty for Friendship (DS9 S6E9)

When the Unpopular X-Men show up at DS9, the absence of Sir Patrick Stewart makes Dr. Bashir their Professor X. But when their mutant powers are mostly of the Nate Silver variety, all of the group’s predictions become incredibly pessimistic. Is Morn’s lack of dialogue a financial decision? What color is your welcome wagon? How popular is Planet Cum? It’s the episode that sees only one possible outcome!
13/04/201h 2m

Vagrant Bareil (DS9 S6E8)

When Kira is having a tough time finding a dinner party date, she never expects one to beam in from the Mirror Universe. But when her new man proves spicier than the guys she typically dates, his appetite for Kiras might not be satiated by just one. Is there any man on DS9 that’s good enough for Major Kira? Do they get multidimensional transporter devices from Star Wars? What’s the best part of a religious ceremony to steal someone’s seat? It’s the episode where we wore the worst possible shirt to school on 9/11.🖖 Get tickets to GreatestGenKhan II: Star Trek III! 🖖Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow Adam and Ben on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
06/04/201h 6m

Deprivation is First Base (DS9 S6E7)

When Worf and Dax decide to have their wedding on DS9, the noise complaints from their bachelor and bachelorette parties are nearly constant. But when Martok’s wife threatens to ruin their big day, it’ll be up to Captain Sisko to play relationship counselor. What ever happened to Tom Hanks comedies? How crucial is finding your register? What’s the station’s policy on getting a fresh couch? It’s the episode that everyone’s doing this week!
30/03/201h 14m

Are You There Prophets? It’s me, The Sisko (DS9 S6E6)

When the Federation fleet sails into the teeth of battle, only corny poetry can gird the spirits of the Little D crew. But when the battle goes much better for the Federation than is generally known, Dukat tries to clinch victory in the funnest way possible. What is Admiral Beltbuckle doing that’s more important than this? What is the Cartwright/Metallica Dialectic? What’s the quickest way to stink up the Great Link? It’s the episode where we kick a ton of ass before being murdered in thirty seconds.🖖 Get tickets to GreatestGenKhan II: Star Trek III! 🖖Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow Adam and Ben on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
23/03/201h 12m

Faking Flaccid (DS9 S6E5)

When Team Starfleet needs a win in the final seconds, it’s Captain Sisko drawing up the plays for Admiral Beltbuckle. But when Odo loses track of how much time is on the game clock, the Little D will need a Hail Mary of a plan. What’s a good second option for nighttime bathroom trips? Do loose lips sink ships (even when you’re on the ship)? Can we launch a shirt right now? It’s the episode that christens week one of #MaxFunDrive 2020 with a drink!
16/03/201h 5m

Admiral Belt Buckle (DS9 S6E4)

When Sisko is reassigned to a desk job at Starbase Threeblahblahblah, the Little D is going to take his soup thermos, and do missions without him. Meanwhile, on DS9, the first big action by the Resistance Club inadvertently reveals what Leeta loves about Rom. Is Changeleader going to lose respect for Odo when she sees his toy collection? Does Nog also work as a waiter in the Little D’s mess hall? How much linking do you have to do before you’re labeled a ‘problem linker?’ It’s the episode where Jake gets a new moniker.🖖 Get tickets to GreatestGenKhan II: Star Trek III! 🖖Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow Adam and Ben on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
09/03/201h 7m

An Entire Premise Evening (DS9 S6E3)

When Jake tries to Max Fischer his way into another extracurricular activity at the station, the other members of the Resistance Club take great umbrage. Meanwhile Worf fights a new enemy: the umbrage of his abandoned son Alexander. Is the big spoon the good spoon or the bad spoon? Yes…but is it art? How close is Shavasana to Sto’Vo’Kor? It’s the episode where we’re offered a drink and we ask why.🖖 Get tickets to GreatestGenKhan II: Star Trek III! 🖖Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow Adam and Ben on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
02/03/201h 13m

Dr. Jazz Horse (DS9 S6E2)

When Sisko crashes his crew’s tick into the broad side of a planet, the girders go flying. But when the Vorta there starts playing both sides of the conflict, tensions become inflamed. When is a warm seat the last straw? Which episode title is off-limits? What’s the coke-iest movie? It’s the episode that that needs a carpet cleaner!
24/02/201h 11m

Data Season One Hair (DS9 S6E1)

When the seventh fleet is slaughtered, the crew of the Little D are rerouted to Starbase for reassignment. But when Sisko and his people are reassigned, they’re going to take the fight directly to the white. How carefully does Damar have to watch his back? What’s a “sympathy when?” Should Sisko have been a worse father to Jake? It’s the episode where we impulse-buy the tropical fruits.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow Adam and Ben on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
17/02/201h 34m

A Sitting D (DS9 S5E26)

When Captain Sisko finally reaches the limit of his tolerance for ticks in the Alpha Quadrant, he breaks out the matches. But when he decides to evacuate DS9, his scorched wormhole policy neglects to include roll call. Is there anything worse than being asked out by Odo? Who’s on Jake duty? Is that it for Keiko? It’s the episode that is either very wise or conveniently dumb!
10/02/201h 11m

The Kanar 3 Meeting Room (DS9 S5E25)

When Jake hatches a plan to cheer his dad up, it becomes a teachable moment for Nog to explain why money is good. But when the Noh-Jay Consortium is outbid, what seemed like a simple trip to the village store becomes a nearly interminable item-collection quest. What’s the last part of the brain to die from oxygen deprivation? How does one identify Jeffrey Combs in public? How many loyalty points does Weyoun earn for his stay at DS9? It’s the episode where the A storyline really seems like it’s a B storyline. Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow Adam and Ben on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
03/02/201h 7m

It’s Always Your Birthday at the Klingon Restaurant (DS9 S5E24)

When Chief O’Brien needs to go on a parts run, he takes a runabout to a pick and pull salvage station. But when it turns out the place is protected by racist Cardassians, what was once O’Brien’s simple maintenance project turns into building warriors out of engineers. How many people has Worf killed? What’s the best camera trick to make your station look bigger? Where is the Setlik 3 O’Brien action figure? It’s the episode enjoyed by the weirdo at the library!
27/01/201h 10m

Get It, Player (DS9 S5E23)

When the Maquis throw one last Hail Mary, it might be Klingon footballs they’ve flung toward Cardassia. But when Ben Sisko gets an old enemy out of jail to stop them, it’s not Alcatraz they’ll have to break into. Did it really take this long to think of cloaked missiles? Why does Morn want to die nude? What’s Nog’s suit size? It’s the episode where we are not feeling okay.Get a "The Warrior, The Legends" T-shirt!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow Adam and Ben on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
20/01/201h 14m

Lt. Coffee (DS9 S5E22)

When Dax insists on doing one more Star Trek before going to sleep, the crew agrees to squeeze it in. But when they must decide what to do about “Planet Progeny,” it’s a decision will keep them up at night. How much does a Klingon head weigh? Where are all the Bashirs? Has anyone seen Sliding Doors? It’s the episode that that gets its car egged every once in a while.
13/01/201h 11m

It Clears the Dance Floor (DS9 S5E21)

When Martok gets commissioned to captain the worst ship in the Klingon military, Worf gets the honor of whipping the crew into shape. But when Dax starts to observe a certain lack of commitment among the crew, she’s the only one that can warn Worf of the true danger they are in. Does Worf even have a job around here? Who’s got the biggest arms in Star Trek? Is more fucking the solution to the Rotaran’s morale problem? It’s the episode where we’re 👏 back 👏 on👏 our 👏 bullshit!🖖GET TICKETS TO GREATEST GEN KHAN II: STAR TREK III🖖Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow Adam and Ben on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
06/01/201h 21m

Quotient of Shame (DS9 S5E20)

When Quark returns to his childhood home on Ferenginar, his old bedroom closet has been converted into something else. But when he finds his mother secretly canoodling with a powerful man, he can’t help but interfere in her affairs. Should Martok have an attorney on retainer? What’s the Ferengi whip called? Who do you give a space per diem to? It’s the episode that that proves there’s no ethics in podcasting!
30/12/191h 15m

You Can’t be a Legate in Tweed (DS9 S5E19)

When Yaremfel syndrome threatens to kill Tekeny, his final act is to spill the tea on his political enemies. But when Kira learns that he’s just another Cardassian, she has a tough time bringing herself to record the priceless intelligence he has to offer. Who are the Dick Cheney and Dennis Hastert of the Dukat administration? What’s a Bashir Radler? What’s the correct attire for turning a teacup into a missile? It’s the episode Adam won’t remember recording!🖖GET TICKETS TO GREATEST GEN KHAN II: STAR TREK III🖖Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow Adam and Ben on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
23/12/191h 11m

Swiss Army Bathroom (Gremlins Holiday Special)

This is a special release of our previously donors-only 2017 holiday episode. Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah and happy Kwanza from Adam and Ben!When a bumbling inventor gives a live animal to his son as a present, obeying the strict rules for its care becomes a challenge. But when the town is overrun by the animal’s mutated progeny, it’ll take more than breaking the rules of flash photography to save the town from their mischievous wrath. Is Gremlins in the Back to the Future cinematic universe? Which film achieves "Peak Cates"? Is the provenance of Mrs Deagle’s ceramics evil? It’s the episode that chooses the fun path to death!🖖GET TICKETS TO GREATEST GEN KHAN II: STAR TREK III🖖Support the production of The Greatest Generation.Music by Adam Ragusea & Dark Materia Follow Adam and Ben on Twitter, and discuss the show using the hashtag #GreatestGen!Facebook group | Subreddit | WikiSign up for our mailing list!
17/12/191h 29m

Bar Goals (DS9 S5E18)

When Quark becomes inspired by a Nicolas Cage movie, his career change forces a Face/Off against law enforcement on the station. But when his Lord of War routine makes his friends Gone in 60 Seconds, he finds himself between The Rock and a hard place. Did Odo shower after his night with Alyssa? How competitive are Starfleet leave benefits? Is Yoshi O’Brien a flour baby? It’s the episode that’s flashy craft!
16/12/191h 9m

He’s The Dick & The Rubber (DS9 S5E17)

When Odo meets a femme who’s visiting the station, he quickly discovers that she’s more fatale than she appears. But when the crew goes into gossip overdrive, it becomes clear that this woman is jacking much more than just into computers. What does it cost to bring your own honey stick to Quark’s? How does the categorical imperative apply to coffee shops? Is there such a thing as a Klingon Restaurant Health Inspector? It’s the episode where the edible takes hold.🖖GET TICKETS TO GREATEST GEN KHAN II: STAR TREK III🖖Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
09/12/191h 8m

Yeomans are for Fucking (DS9 S5E16)

When Dr. Bashir’s parents discovered they had a Ralph on their hands, his paste-eating was cured at the genetic level. But when those same parents accidentally reveal their conspiracy at his workplace, he has a difficult choice to make. What’s the worst thing you’ve eaten at a job? Is service industry experience a prerequisite for having a kind face? How difficult is arguing a case before a “judge ex machina”? It’s the episode that’s the stuff of fantasy and/or nightmares!
02/12/191h 17m

Zeal for Ziyal (DS9 S5E15)

When Dukat makes a Faustian bargain with the Dominion, it comes out of left field for the entire crew of Deep Space Nine. But when the station’s imprisoned crewmen place all their hopes of escape on Garak’s shoulders, he’ll have to overcome his deepest fears to get the job done. Is Sisko trying to do a big-budget reboot of Wolf 359? Is Prison Asteroid the Jem’Hadar equivalent of Risa? Does Worf ever think it’s not a good day to die? It’s the episode where the banging continues.🖖GET TICKETS TO GREATEST GEN KHAN II: STAR TREK III🖖Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
25/11/191h 22m

Raktajino is for Closers Only (DS9 S5E14)

When Garak receives a call for help from the Gamma Quadrant, Sisko throws him the keys to a runabout (as long as Worf drives). But when the wormhole begins dumping ticks all over DS9, Sisko decides to seal it up, which would leave them marooned on the other side. Do we ever pre-plan the ding? How does Dukat get onto the station unannounced? Does Worf have CTE? It’s the episode that reveals a big move!
18/11/191h 12m

Shampoo Holocaust (DS9 S5E13)

When the Captain goes undercover in the Star Trek caves, it’s finally time for him to toast one of his enemies. But when the pillow fight of arguments takes an ugly turn, a badly damaged Defiant is the only ship Starfleet can use to stop the Mayquees. Does the Bajoran Militia offer paid maternity leave? What would Dr. Freud say about the symbolism of firing on one’s own hologram? Do Michael Eddington and Norah Satie shop at the same stores? It’s the episode where we go back for the jokes because we accidentally categorized our show as comedy.🖖GET TICKETS TO GREATEST GEN KHAN II: STAR TREK III🖖Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
11/11/191h 5m

Liquor Sherpa (DS9 S5E12)

When Major Kira begins the birthing process, Odo is coincidentally also “with child.” But when complications arise during their entries into the world, daddy issues strike both parents at once. Does anybody get off from comedy edging? Will O’Brien miss both of his children’s births? Where do you start measuring a Changeling? It’s the episode that’s as sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti!
04/11/191h 7m

Once a Vigilante, Always a Vigilante (DS9 S5E11)

When someone in the neighborhood starts killing nursing students, only those nursing students are in fact former members of the Shakaar Resistance Cell, only one Major can stop the killing. But when she doesn’t stop the killing, Kira sets out to do a little killing of her own. What does the second button do under Ira Steven Behr’s desk? Would CPR work on someone who’s been cremated? What would it take to make Kira fear a transporter? It’s the episode where we find out what Iron Mountain is for.🖖GET TICKETS TO GREATEST GEN KHAN II: STAR TREK III🖖Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
28/10/191h 6m

The Bajoranchelor (DS9 S5E10)

When Captain Sisko enhances a piece of Bajoran artwork, it begins a trip of mind-expanding exploration. But when a lenient Admiral lets Sisko skip a drug test, it means he might not ever come back down from his high. Who decides on carpet for a holosuite? What does Quark’s Bar smell like? How long does it take to come down off of Spire Shrooms? It’s the episode that might agree with Kai Winn!
21/10/191h 12m

The Work of Idiots (DS9 S5E9)

When Odo finally gets an excuse to remand Quark into Federation custody, he’s remarkably incurious about whether the bartender is even guilty. But when an Orion bomb strands them on Planet Yosemite, the old adversaries will come to form a bond that only camping can forge. What kind of discipline does Jake have? Is shrapnel redundant in a runabout bomb? Would capitalism have forced Jake and Nog to work things out? It’s the episode that gets us all pruny.🖖GET TICKETS TO GREATEST GEN KHAN II: STAR TREK III🖖Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
14/10/191h 19m

Also What My Wife Says (Wrath of Khan - Bonus Episode)

When a new tour’s tickets are on sale, Ben and Adam decide to share a rare bonus episode with the public feed. But when their live show about Wrath of Khan is recorded in a synagogue, these vulgar podcasters will face their biggest challenge yet. Will Kirstie Alley become a main cast character? Will Ben’s organs be harvested by the Space Force? What kinds of security clearances do the Friends of DeSoto have? Its the episode where we Brando right onstage in a house of worship.Heat do GreatestGenTour.com to get tickets to our upcoming live shows!
10/10/191h 35m

The Sistine Chapel of Foreheads (DS9 S5E8)

When a pattern of dangerous off-station conference attendance emerges, it’s Sisko, Odo, Dax and Garak caught in the storm this time. But when it’s revealed that the story they experienced was all a dream, the fallout from their shared experience is all too real. Are there rules for a jailbreak? What’s your price for being creeped out? Are constraints a good thing? It’s the episode that’s worried about bungling it!
07/10/1958m 9s

The Violent Honeymoon Period (DS9 S5E7)

When they take a sex vacation to Risa, several of their crewmates invite themselves on a runabout that probably would have been destroyed if Worf and Dax had it to themselves. But when Worf becomes interested in attending timeshare sales pitches, the vacation does not go well, Enterprise. Can the shaft blister? Which of your two hosts is more amorally renegade? Where has that planetary weather remote been? It’s the episode that comes in a leg lamp amount of packing material.🖖GET TICKETS TO GREATEST GEN KHAN II: STAR TREK III🖖Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
30/09/191h 9m

When You Do Time Crime, You Have To Do The Time Crime Time (DS9 S5E6)

When the time travel police show up to interrogate Captain Sisko, the story he tells them is full of callbacks. But when the crew goes back in time to save Captain Kirk’s life, their reverence for him becomes referential. Would you buy what The Traveler is selling? Can a banger cause moral outrage? What do you mean? It’s the episode that wants to meet everyone!
23/09/191h 15m

An Amélie (DS9 S5E5)

When Keiko returns from a trip to Bajor, it’s more than just chocolate bonbons that have gone to her head. But when she am become dead man switch, it will take more than seventeen fingers of whiskey for Miles to cope. When was the last time you owned jean shorts? Is Bajor a right to work planet? What’s a good slogan for Twitter? It’s the episode that makes the case that Rosalind Chao is better than Daniel Day Lewis.🖖GET TICKETS TO GREATEST GEN KHAN II: STAR TREK III🖖Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
16/09/191h 14m

Emergency Field Urine (DS9 S5E4)

When Jake makes Dr. Bashir the subject of a writing assignment it feels like he’s shot himself in the foot, creatively. But when they’re dropped into a war zone and days away from rescue, he’ll find out if the pen is mightier than the bat’leth. Do all ships in Starfleet get their own workout shirts? Where’s the ideal place to park a runabout? You do believe me, don’t you dad? It’s the episode where we lost the belt.
09/09/191h 16m

Up Your Worf and Around the Corner (DS9 S5E3)

When Quark’s old flame returns to the station, Worf becomes the galaxy’s least likely dating consultant. But when the lady’s security detail decides the Ferengi is a threat, Worf will need to puppet Quark via harmonica holder. Is Major Kira a unicorn? What’s the worst movie to see on a first date? Are there any scenarios for which Quark doesn’t have a honey stick? It’s the episode with the sad drink and the happy drink. Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
02/09/191h 13m

USS Patio (DS9 S5E2)

When a Jem’Hadar tick is found buried in a very sensitive area, Captain Sisko and company must tweeze through the wreckage. But when a Vorta appears with a bunch of her friends, Sisko becomes suspicious about what they’re covering up. Is grief something a character can earn? What are the rules of a portmanteau? Will the Federation ever declare war against the Jem’Hadar? It’s the episode that makes us look like a couple of chimney sweeps!
26/08/191h 3m

Chekhov’s Poké Ball (DS9 S5E1)

When Sisko recruits Odo for a dangerous mission in Klingon Space, he’ll have to try a whole new kind of shape shifting. But the all-night party at Gowron’s HQ takes its toll, and the whole team struggles to remember their Klingon lessons. What’s the flair minimum to work on Dukat’s ship? How’s Odo coping with all his new glands? How is Worf not a dead giveaway? It’s the episode where we’re off IPAs, and into a barrel of blood wine. Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
19/08/191h 11m

Gowron Tweeted (DS9 S4E25)

When Odo comes down with an illness that Dr. Bashir can’t cure, Changeleader invites him to her new home on Golden Pond. But when it turns out Odo’s punishment is more of a life sentence, everything is about to get harder for him. How do you know when Archanis is on the table? Is aggressive flirtation a kind of science fiction? Is Kira being punished too? It’s the episode that uses every Instagram filter!
12/08/191h 1m

Until Your Face is as Blue as Your Shirt (DS9 S4E24)

When a runabout with precious cargo sustains a banger, Bashir plays a cup and ball trick with Miles and Keiko’s unborn child. But when Quark gets a bad diagnosis, the Ferengis find themselves involved in yet another harebrained latinum scheme that could spell the end of Quark’s Bar. Is there some way Kira could save O’Brien a click? What does Brunt actually want to do with the pucks? Did Quark have an actionable religious epiphany? It’s the episode with the wall-eyed headboobs.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
05/08/191h 7m

Mother Kevorkian (DS9 S4E23)

When a planet full of disease-punished people are discovered, the inhabitants have lost hope for a cure. But when Dr. Bashir’s street magic special gets poorly reviewed, it sets up a conflict between him and the doctor in charge. How do you say that doctor’s name? Do you need consent for mustard? Is that pylon okay? It’s the episode that we’ll keep working on for the rest of our lives.
29/07/191h 3m

Measure Twice, See if You’re Cut Once (DS9 S4E22)

After the station’s pylon gets cut right off, the crew will have to team up with some extremely unlikely allies to hoo ride on the Jem’Hadar responsible. But as the mission progresses, the alliance only serves to highlight divisions between the Federation and the Dominion. Does Worf subscribe to a three day rule for missions on the Little D? Is Weyoun a jealous boyfriend to Omet’iklan? Why does O’Brien have boobs in his final letter to Keiko? It’s the episode where we get obsessed with straw-ripping.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
22/07/191h 10m

Hard to Hide a Gun in a Bathrobe (DS9 S4E21)

When Kasidy Yates is accused of smuggling for the Maquis, Captain Sisko doesn’t believe it. But when the evidence becomes incontrovertible, hers is just the first in a series of double-crosses he’ll experience that day. Where are all the octo-pip admirals? Is Ben anti-karaoke? What does a Cardassian bathrobe look like? It’s the episode that smells good…through a door!
15/07/191h 8m

Write Horny, Edit Sober (DS9 S4E20)

When Troi’s mom comes down with a case of baby bump, it’s up to Odo to devise a legal strategy to let her keep her late-in-life child. But when Jake Sisko makes friends with the wrong puff of gold glitter, a novel isn’t the only thing that starts coming out of him. Why does Odo get no respect? Could Tavor Kell design a room uncomfortable enough for Worf? Where did Jake learn his fancy penmanship skills? It’s the episode where we bid a fond farewell to a character we’ve grown to love.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
08/07/191h 11m

I Am Not Your Mom (I Am “Malibu” Your Mom) (DS9 S4E19)

When Jake Sisko is abducted and taken into the Mirror Universe, it feels more like a family vacation than a trip to a dangerous place. But when the good times give way to forced labor, it’ll be more than the viewer who is owed an explanation for how things work there. Is the “Jake Knuck Era” over? Are the punches louder in the Mirror Universe? What’s the exchange rate on betrayal? It’s the episode that we did live for 450 people on YouTube!
01/07/191h 6m

Toolbox Full of Dildos (DS9 S4E18)

When the Chief comes home from a diplomatic trip, he’s got about 20 years more memories than he bargained for. But when a disgraceful secret from those memories threatens to push him over the edge, it will take the whole crew to keep him from self-dustbusting. Does Bashir practice any form of medicine other than memory wipes? Is Muñiz angling for the Chief’s job? Can you phaser out a bad aftertaste? It’s the episode we recorded while rocking twenty years of beard growth.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
24/06/191h 8m

The Cal Hudson Altitude (DS9 S4E17)

When Worf stands trial for bad aim on the battlefield, he lawyers up with Captain Sisko. But when it’s clear that the prosecution is making a target of Worf, it will be up to Odo to discover the evidence needed to exonerate him. How fragile is an iPad? Who is “the pippiest admiral”? Shouldn’t a violent witness be handcuffed? It’s the episode where we confuse the Dabo girls’ names.
17/06/191h 5m

Dartboard Daddy (DS9 S4E16)

When the wormhole spits out an old ship, the survivor wants to take Sisko’s job and force Kira to play with modeling clay. And while change at home is testing the O’Brien marriage, social change is testing Sisko’s willingness to relinquish his status as a holy man. What are your secret single slob behaviors? Is Odo a cafeteria Bajoran? And speaking of cafeterias, is it gonna take a caste system for someone to want to sit with Ben and Adam in the lunch room? It’s the episode that flagrantly disregards the golden blood test.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
10/06/191h 15m

Hair Metal Pinkertons (DS9 S4E15)

When Rom gets an earache, Dr. Bashir puts more into his head than just medicine. But after the employees of Quark’s go on strike, concessions of any kind are hard to come by. What is Dr. Bashir collecting in those thermoses? Who’s got nostalgia for the D? Is Morn a scab? It’s the episode you’ll want to listen to after being sick in bed.
03/06/191h 8m

Weeaboo But For Klingons (DS9 S4E14)

When Kern makes a pit stop at the station on his way to Sto’Vo’Kor, he asks Worf for more than just gas money. But when Dax catches wind of the Klingon rite and puts a stop to it, brotherhood, Worf’s loyalty to Starfleet, and Bashir’s loyalty to the Hippocratic oath will all be tested. What kind of ice dispensers do Klingon warships have? Why doesn’t O’Brien want Kira to ‘grab the fruit’? Where’s Worf’s balls chair? It’s the episode where the pool water gets thicc.
27/05/191h 4m

Klingon Thirst Trap (DS9 S4E13)

When Major Kira gets assigned a diplomatic mission, she’s given a chaperone that turns it into a career-redeeming move. But when the Klingons insult the size of his ship, Gul Dukat overcompensates big time. How far away is a believable nose? Do all drain cleaners look alike? Why are high school stages so wide? It’s the episode that really gets its hooks in you!
20/05/191h 6m

Odo Needs a Dad (DS9 S4E12)

When First Minister Shakaar pays a visit to the station, Odo and Worf will have to figure out how to collaborate as security men. But when the Constable’s crush on Kira starts to impact his job performance, he sets himself up for a Japanese warrior level defeat. If a baby killed Shakaar, would it become First Minister? When is Kira flirting? Is something stopping Quark from getting a different apartment? It’s the episode that makes it clear that Kira is a real Neffie Beaumont type.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
13/05/191h 9m

Back to One (DS9 S4E11)

When what Captain Sisko thought was a changeling takeover turns out to be a Federation power grab, it’s somehow even more difficult than before to know who his friends are. But when Admiral Leyton’s coup d'état breaks down like a Coupe DeVille, his plans to pave over paradise are jeopardized for good. Can you wear a com badge to the brig? Are guile and paradise mutually exclusive? What is “The Greatest Gen Promise”? It’s the episode that reaches through the brood!
06/05/191h 5m

Tour Diaper (DS9 S4E10)

When changelings bomb a diplomatic conference, Ben Sisko heads to Earth to try to prevent a war. But when it turns out his own father looks like Admiral Cartwright, the Khitomer vibes really get out of control. Is Dax prank-flirting with Odo? Is religion a good topic of conversation for the workplace? How did they convince the assholes to leave Earth? It’s the episode that can’t decide whether it’s grieving or doing bits.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
29/04/191h 17m

Hoofs in the High Stakes Area (DS9 S4E9)

When Garak walks in on Dr. Bashir during a holosuite session, he witnesses a level of prurience that was best kept private. But when lives depend on their ability to keep the session going, they’ll have to think about a baseball program to maintain their edge. Why does Bashir choose “easy” difficulty? How do you tell the difference between satire and a mistake? Did we miss the auction for fingernails? It’s the episode that’s not a punch up.
22/04/191h 1m

It’s a Neutral Sausage (DS9 S4E8)

When Worf teams up with Dax and Kor to liberate a Klingon relic from the GQuad, his life suddenly feels like it has a purpose. But when that selfsame relic starts to exhibit One Ring-like properties, it’s anyone’s guess who will survive their long trip in the Star Trek Caves. How are we supposed to keep track of Worf’s pariah status? What’s the best way to have a moderate amount of fun in Vegas? Is Dax more racist against Vulcans than Ben is against Lethians? It’s the episode where we go where no targ has gone before!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
15/04/191h 7m

Alleged Loughlin (DS9 S4E7)

When Quark gets a new RV from his cousin, he decides his first drive should be a road trip taking Nog to college. But when a blowout leaves them stranded in an unfamiliar place, their timing couldn’t be worse. What should you always wash after buying from a garage sale? How quickly can a person absorb the entire history of human kind? When do you know an episode is a comedy? It’s the episode that’s gonna be chillin’ over in crafty!
08/04/191h 7m

They Really Spent on the Sparks (DS9 S4E6)

When the Little D can’t advance in the game without doing an escort mission, they descend into a submarine trope salad to hunt some ticks. But when a Disaster level of crew separation takes place, it might fall to Quark to save the ship. What’s the best holiday to eat a Canada goose? Why is Hanok so thirsty for surrender? How do you serve up Captain Jellico realness? What good is a jaunty lining in a jacket if you’re not going to show it off? It’s the episode that rests for as long as it needs to in shavasana pose.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!It’s the MaxFunDrive! Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
01/04/191h 6m

Uncle Magic (DS9 S4E5)

When a lover from Dax’s past visits Deep Space Nine, the rest of the crew expects some tension between them. But after their scientific collaboration results in personal fireworks, they’ll have to decide if imperiling their futures as Trill symbiotes is worth the risk. What is average, really? How do you turn crying into kissing? What would “Season 1 Bashir” do? It’s the episode that stretches the tension taffy!
25/03/191h 1m

Emotionally Vulnerable for the Lulz (DS9 S4E4)

When a familiar face brings Kira news from the scrap yard, she’s back on a cold case from before the end of the occupation. But when the Cardassians catch wind of the news, she’ll have to team up with Dukat to beat up some Storm Troopers. Should you give musical instruments to your friend’s children? How do you tell the difference between guts and robes? Is Dukat gambling in his own Game of Buttholes? It’s the first week of #MaxFunDrive 2019!Our goal is 2,000 new and upgrading supporters. If we hit the goal, we’re going to build a Millenium Falcon lego set and drop it off something, and we’re going to make a short documentary about the whole thing! Become a supporter now to get instant access to our bonus content and help us achieve our goal.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!It’s the MaxFunDrive! Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
18/03/191h 10m

#ColonGoals (DS9 S4E3)

When Worf notices a bootleg Morn, he begins to slip into his bad security habits. But when O’Brien and Bashir get taken prisoner by some Jem’Hadars, finding a cure for bad habits might be the only way the Doctor can save them. What are the steps in Ketracel Anonymous? What’s the downside for Chief O’Brien of being able to skip all those banquets? Do Jem’Hadars even have chill to harsh? It’s the episode where we did so much research we found out Quark’s last name!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
11/03/191h 8m

Barely Legal (DS9 S4E2)

When Ben Sisko vanishes in a freak workplace accident, his son Jake is left without anyone to hug. But when a much older Jake jumps at the chance to change the past, he must be willing to o destroy his present, and with it the writing career he’s always wished for. Are costumes clothes? What rhymes with “gardener”? Does a television set need a geometry consultant? It’s the episode recorded and edited from podcast jail!
04/03/191h 2m

Tout Suite Goop Sweep (DS9 S4E1&2)

When the Klingons’ plan of “Stop, Frisk, and Blood Test” raises the tensions near the wormhole, Worf must find out their true motivations before it’s too late. But with Gowron personally leading the armada, Sisko must depend on guile (as well as a DS9’s newly installed torpedo launchers) to repel their attack. What’s the one thing NOT worth waiting for? Who is the red phone? Where do they keep the old uniforms? It’s the episode that plays some rough darts!
25/02/191h 4m

O’Brien Fingers Bashir (DS9 S3E26)

When the Little D is deployed to the frontier of the federation, nobody is initially suspicious that Jake Sisko seems to now be a Starlfleet Admiral. But when aliens we’ve never heard of threaten war with the Federation, it’s the diplomats you really have to be worried about. Is the Defiant on its way to Vertiform City? Why does Eddington want to kill the Doctor? What kind of predicament would make you wish you’d become a barber? It’s the episode that finally hits the Jeffries tubes from the right angle.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
18/02/191h 3m

(Straight out of) Episode 74 (DS9 S3E25)

When Jadzia Dax assembles her friends for a symbiote bar mitzvah, everyone is invited. But when some guests overstay their welcome, it’s up to Dax to convince Kerzon that the party’s over. What’s the most boring video game? Which actor may be “too scary for tv”? Does Darien Wallace fuck? It’s the episode where we did it on the first take!
11/02/191h 8m

Tomb of the Unknown Dick (DS9 S3E24)

When Kira is confronted with the prospect of the most awful person possible becoming the head of her planet’s government, that news comes with a mission from that same awful person. But when she tries to repo some farm equipment from her old terror cell, it’s more than just pizza ovens in peril. What character in Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure was most foundational to the host’s sexualities? Should Sisko have joined O’Brien for darts a long time ago? How long does a resistance refractory period last? It’s the episode that gets a John Doman rookie card in mint condition.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
04/02/191h 40m

Space Dish (DS9 S3E23)

When a secret investment scheme by Quark’s mother is laid bare, it makes everybody else in her family uncomfortable. But when a freighter captain visits DS9, it’s apparent to everyone that Commander Sisko is looking to give her docking ring preferential treatment. What is dumb for a Ferengi? Do tomatoes have cores? Where’s Leeta in all of this? It’s the episode that’s going to confuse a lot of people “who don’t listen to both.”
28/01/191h 4m

The Red Hammer Diaries (DS9 S3E22)

When a bend-at-the-waist hug, leads to a father/son sailing trip, the Sisko men get to cranking. But when the adventure threatens to provoke a diplomatic incident, they’ll have to keep their new hobby in a bottle. Why is Dax cock-blocking Bashir? What’s a super comfy long-term sleeping solution? Can Chief O’Brien get “I love you, man” drunk? Romulan scientists are so vain, they probably think this discovery’s about them.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
21/01/191h 13m

Ask the Husnock (If You Can Find Any) (DS9 S3E21)

When Enabran Tain devises a military strategy straight out of the Admiral Hanson playbook, the fight does not go well. But when their plan to splash the Founders puddle gets them all wet, Garak must choose between escaping with his friend or going down with the ship. How do you pronounce Enabran? What do you do when you have too much bag? Are you a thermos or a jacket person? It’s the Ginuwine “Pony” album of podcasts!
14/01/191h 8m

You Went A to F U (DS9 S3E20)

When an attempt is made on Garak’s life, it’s not just tailoring paraphernalia that gets blown out into the open. But when the Cardassian spy stops dissembling and the Tal Shiar stops playing chess, the potential conflict takes on a Spaceball One sense of scale. Is Quark finally fulfilling his debt to society? How big a threat are the Romulans now that they can walk two abreast? Do the Star Trek caves have mattresses on the floor? It’s the one where Garak Jazz Hands take on an ominous overtone.
07/01/191h 6m

Uncle Terrans (DS9 S3E19)

When Commander Sisko gets taken to the Mirror Universe, he makes strong choices w/r/t “the right thing to do” vs. “the Mirror Universe thing to do.” But when confronted face to face with his Prime Dead wife, his mission begins to suffer from a case of performance anxiety. Is the human brain capable of grappling with the sexual morality of multiple universes? Are the Pakleds in charge? Should we be getting more cut fruit in our diet? It’s a feel-good version of politics that you wish existed.
31/12/181h 0m

A Sarlacc Type of Mouth (DS9 S3E18)

When Garak is in the midst of soundly defeating Bashir in a round of Birthday Chess, Quark introduces a scary man to the doctor. But when that man goes rummaging in Bashir’s personal space, that space turns out to be more personal than he originally bargained for. How many boba teas did Altovar drink during production? What distinguishes good hand loaf from bad? What does Colm Meaney think of stuffed crust pizza? What are some tennis ball brands? It’s the episode that establishes the existence of a terrible roadside attraction called Mount Bitmore.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
24/12/181h 17m

Top PtaQ (DS9 S3E17)

When Chief O’Brien gets irradiated, the side effects are disorienting. But when his premonitions predict danger for DS9, he’ll have to rely on the only person he can trust: himself. How dangerous is the ceremonial garter throw? Is Sisko Kira’s “work husband”? Could Wyatt Miller be involved? It’s the episode that just puts a patch on the blowout.
17/12/181h 10m

Let Go and Let Horse (DS9 S3E16)

When a mysterious stranger gives Quark blue oomox (bluemox? bloomox?), the ne’erdowell bartender is forced to room with Rom. But when the Nagus makes Maihar’du cry, Quark will risk everything to get Zek addicted to snuff again. Are we ever going to stop hearing about these stem bolts? Do Star Trek’s various giant, silent valet characters ever hang out? What’s the best board game to play with the desiccated remains of Ferengi? It’s the episode where we find out that the Prophets are just like us.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
10/12/181h 12m

Resting Prophecy Face (DS9 S3E15)

When Cardassian scientists arrive on DS9 with a plan to communicate through the wormhole, it’ll take more than a Bajoran with a picket sign to stop Commander Sisko’s mission. But when prophecy turns into reality, O’Brien and the Cardassians must work past their differences in order to save the day. How many Peck’s Bad Boy films are in the Marvel cinematic universe? In which quadrant is the bedroom? What is the half-life of embarrassment? It’s the episode that doesn’t blink. Ever.
03/12/181h 6m

A Hundred Duck-Sized Odos (DS9 S3E14)

When Kira and Odo borrow a Starfleet runabout they get stuck doing Starfleet work. But when the mission turns into a crisis, Odo will have to decide if he believes Kira’s performance. Does Odo have a butt? Which side of the iron curtain is the best venue for metamorphosis humor? Does O’Brien have a kayak kink? It’s the episode that adds a fifth rule of Greatest Genquisition.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
26/11/181h 31m

A Very Tough Kouign Aman (DS9 S3E13)

When an age appropriate love interest for Jake Sisko appears looking for a date, it’s love at first sight. But when the A story starts publicly humiliating the B story at the dinner table, the crew of DS9 is left stuck with the bill. Does the Kai have upgrade status on Bajoran transport ships? Are interstellar geopolitics a part of a healthy medical recovery plan? Which cast member do you trust an entire page of dialogue to? It’s the episode that requires a brain transplant to enjoy.
19/11/181h 2m

Not Purple Sports Car Success (DS9 S3E12)

When Ghosts and Gimme’s team up to take over the DMV, initially only the Dims will support their cause. But when the Defiant starts to drain its supply of time travel particles, the Chief rolls a three-sided dice. What are good demands when you’ve got that big hostage energy? Are hippies weird or high? Where’s the soot? It’s the episode we recorded on our way into the eight figure club!Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
12/11/181h 28m

They Found Him in Berkeley, They Left Him in Berkeley (DS9 S3E11)

When a freak transporter accident disappears Commander Sisko, Dr. Bashir and Dax, Chief O’brien is a little concerned. But when the away team appears at a critical time in the past, the death of a crucial historical figure has them scrambling to save the timeline. Is Brenner Information Systems a part of the Terminator movie universe? What’s the street value of a clown costume? How do Ferengi eulogize each other? It’s the episode that has a really cool tribal armband tattoo that we’d love to show you.
05/11/181h 10m

No Atheists in a Bajor Hole (DS9 S3E10)

When a couple of the crew welcome their long-absent lovers back, everyone’s favorite ambassador to hate crashes the festival. But when the polarity of the station’s boners is reversed, only the passionless Doctor Bashir can save the day. How much coffee should you drink before sex? Is Bajor’s spiritual homogeneity the product of a horrifying and bloody religious war? Is Quark awesome at canasta? It’s just another episode from the human interest story of Star Trek podcasts.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
29/10/181h 22m

Big Commander Energy (DS9 S3E9)

When the Federation’s most popular commander beams aboard DS9 for a little R&R, the crew believes he’ll be making the station his own personal Risa. But after he starts throwing the D around too aggressively, the most sensitive parts of the galaxy are in danger of being punished. Where can you get a dope-ass tamale? Is Cal Hudson’s true legacy sartorial? Do the Cardassians take a dump without a plan? It’s the episode that chooses the wrench!
22/10/181h 12m

Mid-Brand Cigarette (DS9 S3E8)

While trekking in the gQuad, Sisko and the gang encounter a disappearing reappearing planet whose inhabitants Dax finds very bonable. But while her relationship with one of the locals flowers, back at on the station, Quark’s depravity takes a turn for the worse. Does the Defiant need a dongle to disappear? Why is the makeup department neglecting Dax’s neck? Why do people keep going on these non-date dates? It’s the episode where we try out mid-90s flirtation.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
15/10/181h 12m

Pubescent Combadge (DS9 S3E7)

When Chief O’brien trips DS9’s security system, the station’s car alarm triggers a very hostile form of lockdown. But when the crew get covered in “buts,” they may have to collaborate with an unlikely ally. Are there ANY new poop euphemisms? Why would anyone wear their communicator in an anti-Hudson configuration? Is embarrassment lethal? It’s the episode recorded with back-turned confidence!
08/10/1856m 9s

You Can Kill Them With Embarrassment (DS9 S3E6)

When a familiar purple haired lady returns to the station to fool Quark twice, he takes the bait and brings more than just shame on himself. But when part of the acquisition becomes Odo’s charge, the station’s safety will have to rest on the Lycine Contingency. Is Sisko’s parenting style inspired by Larry Miller? Do clothes make the man, and if so, why is this kid in a ninja costume? Should we be concerned about how Odo has decorated Chez Bucket? It’s the episode where the crew gets handed a win in a pelican case.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!Support the production of The Greatest Generation.
01/10/181h 14m

She Puts the Beige in Bajor (DS9 S3E5)

When Major Kira is given an unwanted makeover, her aestheticians give her the hard sell on accepting her new look. But when she begins to question their motivations, she’ll have to depend on those she hates the most to get her out of this mess. How do you defend against a “look dunk”? What are the seats you should choose for your wife on an airplane? Do you ever want to get handsy with the loaf? It’s the episode that makes us question our very identities!
24/09/181h 5m

Be The Industrial Mixer You Want To See In The World (DS9 S3E4)

When Jadzia whips out some treacly keyboard skills at a dinner party, she puts the Siskos in an awkward position. But as her life turns into a bad episode of Fool Us with Penn and Teller, it starts to seem like Dax may have forgotten more than just her level of musical proficiency. Which host is in the pocket of Big Pun? Are Dax and Sisko chess hipsters? How does anyone get any shuteye on the Defiant? It’s the episode where we find out who’s Charlie Brown, and whose balls he’s trying to kick.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!
17/09/181h 22m

Secret Silk (DS9 S3E3)

When Keiko quits her job, Chief O’Brien must throw out the manual in order to fix the problems in their relationship. Meanwhile, after Quark gets into a bar fight with a drunk, his punishment requires that he defend himself both physically and mathematically. How can you tell if it’s a split diopter shot? What does Minkus look like today? Who is the best person to talk to about your domestic problems? It’s the episode that’s fine, really.
10/09/181h 1m

Remmick Levels of Intensity (DS9 S3E2)

When Odo finally discovers Planet Bucket, his curiosity takes the form of an interrogation of his goopy species. But when the rest of the gang returns to the station, they find the Federation negotiating a peace treaty that’s even worse than the one they have with the Cardassisans. Does a golden handshake count as watersports? Do Bunkbed Mark II Shuttles have rear windows? Are the Changelings just a cult? It’s the episode where the hosts take a deep dive on blasting butt.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!
03/09/181h 25m

Perplexing Volume (DS9 S3E1)

When midlife crisis Ben Sisko rolls up to the station in his brand new ride, he can’t wait to show the crew what’s so special under the hood. But when he invites them on a trip around the block with him to show it off, the feedback from their neighbors is surprising. Where do we stand on Big Almond? How do we verify if “Scepter is Authentic”? Why can’t you go through the wormhole cloaked? It’s the episode where we decide where a “yes, and” belongs.
27/08/181h 5m

It’s Like Her Hair Is A Cookie (DS9 S2E26)

When Nog and Quark barge into a Sisko family vacation, Jake insists they tune the radio to the Ferengi station. But when their Gamma Quadrant camping trip brings them in contact with two brand new kinds of alien, we set aside comedic things and head into the darkness. Do Commanders get shallower deep-Vs than Captains? Is that lady using a prodigious amount of spray, or is it an ear thing? Do Galaxy Class starships compare bridge size? It’s the episode where we talk about our big trip to the inside of a certain pocket.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!
20/08/181h 23m

Anachronistic Mustache (DS9 S2E25)

When Chief O’brien has his vacation plans derailed by the Cardassians, he goes from runabout seat to dentist’s chair in short order. But after his lackluster accommodations on Cardassia Prime are relayed back to Commander Sisko, it’s up to the crew of DS9 to get him rebooked elsewhere. Is there an “Alexander Bubble”? What are the three rules of Greatest Gen? Is Odo stuck in the uncanny valley? It’s the episode that ignores the very spacious “back of a runabout”!
13/08/181h 4m

Orb Refractory Period (DS9 S2E24)

When Vedek Bareil gets a powerful Kai Election, Kira gets fairly hot under the collar. But when Vichy allegations start getting tossed around liberally, the Bajoran Papacy might go to someone who can cause Keiko some real problems. How do you pronounce a French thing? How could we have made that Michael Dukakis photo-op worse? Is wet leather an important waypoint on the path to nirvana? It’s an episode that will double down on last week’s challenge to unsubscribe.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!
06/08/181h 9m

Conspiracy (Plus Ten Years) (DS9 S2E23)

When Major Kira and Doctor Bashir get a flat tire while going through the wormhole, the nearest exit takes them to a place that looks like home. But when they arrive, they find O’Brien responding to his life in the same way he always has. What can’t you give away in prison? Is Bashir just a dorky Dad? Is John Roderick from the Mirror Universe? It’s ten pounds of episode in a two pound bag!
30/07/181h 10m

20 mg Gummies Throughout (DS9 S2E22)

When a headache seems more serious than normal, Garak’s traditional evasiveness begins to stand in the way of Bashir’s ability to keep him alive. But when the doctor goes on a B & E to help his friend, he may end up condemning the tailor to a life of pure misery. Why doesn’t Dax manscape her house plants? Does Quark have a nonstick coating on that loaf? Is Odo’s true calling as a Roto-Rooter? Its the episode where we are very careful not to ‘pull a Richard.’Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!
23/07/181h 20m

Little Beef, Little Pork (DS9 S2E21)

When Calvin Hudson walks Commander Sisko through his plan to leave the Federation, his fugitive turn has implications that will last well past laundry day. But when Gul Dukat rides shotgun for the mission to bring him to justice, Sisko’s allegiances become complicated. What is the unified theory of non-Starfleet uniforms? Why are there so many farmers in Star Trek? Is there a question you should never ask a Lyft driver? It’s the episode where all of the host’s movements are motivated!
16/07/181h 8m

But Enough About My Butt (DS9 S2E20)

When Male-Pattern-Baldness-Barclay commits an act of terrorism, Station Commander Sisko hits the road with an old frenemy. But when everyone in the DMZ starts using cheat codes, loyalties are tested and well-treated prisoners are dying. What is Cal Hudson telegraphing with that low com badge placement? Does Gul Dukat have resting threat voice? It’s the episode where we go on an Excellent Adventure, but stop short of going on a Bogus Journey.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!
09/07/181h 15m

The Loaf Forgives All (DS9 S2E19)

When the Klingon chapter of the Dead Sons Club holds a meeting on DS9, Dax goes way back with some of the board members. But when the plan for the next meeting leads to a far away planet and a Scarface-like enemy, it forces her to choose between her career at Starfleet and an oath to her friends. Which X-Men side-scroller character are you? What’s the person version of object permanence? Is loaf just a way to get around an insensitive makeup decision? It’s the episode where we look at each other during, again!
02/07/181h 2m

The Sooner We End This Episode The Sooner I Can Stop Looking At You (DS9 S2E18)

When their brand new ship takes a lot of body damage, some radical Cardassians put in at the station for a buff-out. But when the pilot turns out to be an old friend of Quark’s, his interest in her becomes more than academic. What does Quark get out of giving oral? Is ‘bloody dress’ a fashion statement or a metaphor? Could Odo ever safely impersonate a table at the Promenade’s Chili’s Too location? It’s the episode where we find out what’s in it for Adam.
25/06/181h 9m

A Really Remarkable Sign (DS9 S2E17)

When a new arrival is greeted on DS9, he is warmly welcomed by everyone except for the person he’s there to see. But when a rodent infestation starts kicking the crew’s butts, the issue becomes a problem for more than just the food service vendors on the promenade. Why does anyone go “full Geordi” anymore? Should we take the mono-myth back to the drawing board? What’s the worst gift your mom has ever given you? It’s the episode that pitches a new health conscious t-shirt that no one will buy!
18/06/181h 2m

A Real Haranguing or Banging Conundrum (DS9 S2E16)

When Dax and Odo find a techno-donut, it’s only the first clue in a very Star Trek mystery. Back on the station, Jake gets his first job and Quark tries to job Kira while Vedek Bareil tries to get a job of his own. Could Odo Riker an ankylosaur? Why are the Bjorans so willing to give up the jumja? What’s a good ratio of walls to holes? It’s the episode that shucks before it shaves.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!
11/06/181h 20m

The Crystal Direction (DS9 S2E15)

When Sisko and O’Brien discover a crashed freighter on a desolate planet, they find the hat enthusiast survivors have formed a society around their unhinged leader. But when they discover that hotboxing is being used as a form of punishment, it’s up to O’Brien to discover the secret of why no one can escape. Do Adam and Ben need an eye exam? What wouldn’t we give for a Juan Ortiz box of DS9 cards? Does a hand phaser have a setting for wood? It’s the episode where we don’t hate you, we hate how nude you’ve made us become!
04/06/181h 3m

Act-Drunk Adjacent (DS9 S2E14)

When O’Brien comes home from a security conference hosted by warring Gamma Quadrant aliens whose names are hard to remember, he falls victim to the classic dangers inherent to all Starfleet convention goers. But when his relationship with Keiko gets back into its old groove, he realizes that something is very wrong. What’s the exchange rate of Vanderpump To Trek? Shouldn’t the the Chief’s first step be to check for nubbins? How can one confirm when Uxbridge is authentic? It’s the episode that trades the promise of success and responsibility with a toilet plunger.Come see us live on tour with Greatest Gen Khan🎉🎉🎉!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!
28/05/181h 5m

Apropos of Nothing (But Sort of What We Were Talking About) (DS9 S2E13)

When an alien race that REALLY doesn’t like Shake Weights decides to liquidate their gym, Dr. Bashir and Chief O’Brien are there to help. But when those in charge want to change the scope of the project, it’s up to Commander Sisko to take a break from his buffet long enough to investigate the matter. Who are the “Geordi & Data of DS9”? What is Colm Meaney’s “Con Face”? Why is there so much implied gluttony? It’s the episode that shares the hosts’ favorite Judith B. Raskin park bench quotes.
21/05/1858m 1s

We’re Really Luxuriating in this Maron (DS9 S2E12)

A doctor to whom Odo bears a striking family resemblance arrives on Deep Space Nine with a gift-wrapped mystery for his former lab animal. But when the team’s road trip to Planet Bucket unleashes a gassy banger, it’s not clear which member of the away team gets the worst side-effects. What’s the best drug to take when listening to the Melota Remix? What is motivating Sisko’s dimmer decisions? Is a female’s love interest something we can really categorize as a ‘dilemma?’ It’s the episode where we show our whole soft spot.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!
14/05/181h 7m

Knuck Spanx (DS9 S2E11)

When the probability on DS9 gets out of whack, a new gambling hall across from Quark’s Bar may be to blame. But when O’Brien and Keiko start getting along, THAT’s the point when the crew becomes suspicious. How many liters of Odo are there? Does O'Brien prefer to play with himself? Where’s the knuck? It’s the episode that’s a real weird bit of business.
07/05/1859m 11s

One Horn Player Does Not Make an Artist Community (DS9 S2E10)

When frumpy refugees come through the hole, Kira has to stop finishing Sisko’s sandwich. But when the houseguests start threatening to extend their stay, Bajor is confronted with a potential avalanche of skin flakes. Is an opaque door the only thing that will get Adam and Ben back into square jobs? !s the hotel discount at Se7enCon a good deal? Is “hey, you like hip-hop?” an effective pickup line? It’s the episode that might need to get a referral to a specialist.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!
30/04/181h 10m

They Went to Jake Clips (DS9 S2E9)

On the anniversary of a significant event in Federation history, Sisko falls for a woman who keeps ghosting him. But after an awkward conversation at a dinner party, their fantasy romance goes nova. Is Jennifer Sisko reanimated, somewhere? Could a marriage be a “correctable situation”? Why doesn’t anyone want to take shore leave on DS9? It’s the episode where one of the hosts is still numb!
23/04/181h 1m

The Canoe Has Ridges (DS9 S2E8)

When Quark finds himself in a real film noir situation, it jogs memories with very muted colors for Odo. But when the case connects to events from the past, the sets get even smokier. Did Bajoran jewelers ever go through a modernist design period? What is Rom ever even doing? Are the Siskos being written off the show? It’s the episode where we goo through all the doors.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!
16/04/181h 15m

Slickback Emeritus (DS9 S2E7)

When Quark brokers a deal with someone who has a severe case of “bad guy face,” he needs help from a coworker. But when Rom discovers what she’s been hiding under her bed, it forces Quark to choose between his moral and legal codes. Why does the promenade close? What’s the best pretzel in the game? Is Morn is a hobo? It’s the episode that recounts our frequent history of make-out erasure!
09/04/181h 9m

Chekhov’s Nose (DS9 S2E6)

When Dr. Bashir tries to give a new ensign “The Brahms Treatment,” he actually manages to charm her. But when she and Dax are taken hostage with Quark, she briefly turns her weakness into a strength. What’s the worst bodily substance in microgravity? Has Dax just been jackin’ it for the last 150 years? How does science work? It’s the episode that retrofits as much of the podcast as possible for ADA compliance.HELP SUPPORT US IN THE #MaxFunDrive AT MAXIMUMFUN.ORG/DONATE!Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Prophets!
02/04/181h 16m

Lennying It to Death (DS9 S2E5)

When a Cardassian boy bites Garak, it’s hard to blame him. But when Sisko and Bashir investigate further, their digging into the child’s Ancestry.com profile reveals some troubling facts w/r/t the "warphanages" on Bajor. Is the costume department “hattero-normative”? Does Gul Dukat watch the show? Are those Nilla Wafers? It’s the episode that thinks things are bathrooms that aren’t bathrooms!
26/03/181h 15m

We Get Worse in Both Directions (DS9 S2E4)

When Quark prays for bandits to take over the station, he gets more than a sticky gym sock. But when they come for Jadzia’s ankylosaur (anklyosaur?), the crew has to make fists with more than their toes. Are these Klingons seeking the right thing? How much are they charging these days at Vulcan supercuts? Are there any good tricks for finding Mareel’s loaf? It’s the episode where we trade honey sticks for latinum.Follow The Game of Buttholes: The Will of the Profits!
19/03/181h 6m

Limp Swagger (DS9 S2E3)

When the Bajorans seek to occupy Deep Space Nine, they arrive to find it nearly deserted. But when Sisko trusts the wrong messenger with the true nature of the coup, it’s up to his scrappy band of Jeffries tube rebels to fight off a legion of corduroy catbasket-clad soldiers before time runs out. What’s the first thing you should do after unboxing a RealSisko™? Who brings a guitar to a campout? Is Morn smart or dumb? It’s the episode that questions our own heroism!
12/03/1857m 43s

A Lotion for Everything and Everything in its Lotion (DS9 S2E2)

When a new first officer begins his career on DS9, the old one has a lot of emotional goodbyes to say. But when Quark is deputized by Odo, the mystery of What’s Even Happening gets blown wide open. Which Avenger is Jake Sisko reminding us of? Is Kira as sweaty as Ben thinks? Is the Three Day Rule Lifestyle a pyramid scheme? It’s the episode where we throw all orb continuity out the window.Follow the board game! www.gagh.biz/game
05/03/181h 9m

Irish Wank (DS9 S2E1)

When an ex-investment banker is sentenced to hard labor in a resort town, Major Kira goes behind enemy lines to rescue him. But when the stories he tells the tourists don’t end up holding any water, it’s up to Bajoran leadership to decide whether to keep his legend alive. What is proper "stream etiquette"? Why are dance crew contests still a thing in the 24th century? What are Klingon food safety rules? It’s the episode that questions the age limit on holosuites.
26/02/181h 8m

Space Butthole Curriculum (DS9 S1E19)

When a fundamentalist religious leader comes on board the station, Keiko inherits more than the wind. But when one of her husband’s wrenches goes missing, his work wife starts to keep him on his toes too. Who ate all the M&Ms out of the trail mix at the Craft Services table? What happened to the popsicle continuity in this episode? Does Neela want the jumja? It’s the episode where we teach the controversy.
19/02/181h 22m

Loaf is on the Pillow (DS9 S1E18)

When a man with a mysterious past beams onto DS9 to see a doctor, the only treatment he gets are accommodations in the brig. But when the crew begins to doubt the person’s true identity, Kira must come to grips with what she really wants out of their relationship. Which DS9 character would you FMK? What are the sexual ethics of the holosuites? Is there a best pre-murder meal to order from a take-out window? It’s the episode that has no lollipop b-story!
12/02/181h 2m

Pins & Limp Thread (DS9 S1E17)

When a Klingon’s dying breath is to proclaim victory, the crew get dramatic about it. But while Odo becomes even more perplexed than normal about his colleague’s behavior, they’re cutting the phone lines and reenacting the death throes of a dying civilization. Should colleges and universities divest in Valeria? Is O’Brien going to have to get used to doing it in front of other people? Where is Quark in the cum hierarchy? It’s the episode where we go “full tube” to preserve our privacy.
05/02/181h 1m

Cotton Candy Thundercloud (DS9 S1E16)

When Lwaxana Troi visits DS9, she’s not the only diplomat causing problems for the crew. But when Odo turns to putty in her hands, it becomes a moment of truth for the both of them. Are "social charisma" and "work charisma" different things? Does “picnic” mean grabbing something other than a basket? What is a Yamato Truther? It’s the episode NOT sponsored by a garbage can company!
29/01/181h 4m

Consensual Mornhammer (DS9 S1E15)

When characters from imagination and fantasy start arriving without a ship, it ruins bedtime for Deep Space Nine. But when llamas turn into bangers, the crew’s dreams turn into nightmares. Does Writer Salad make a filling meal? What’s Jake going to do with that baseball bat? Will Adam ever learn how to pronounce ‘denouement?’ It’s the drunken episode that nobody asked for (and the episode that will probably get us kicked off Maximum Fun).
22/01/181h 12m

Bajoran Gothic (DS9 S1E14)

When Nog and Jake inherit a boat load of a Cardassian condiment, they propose a deal where anything more than nothing should be a win. But as Major Kira oversees the construction (and then the destruction) of an out of the way Bajoran Pizza Kitchen franchise, her gamble on diplomacy has her losing her shirt. Is Morn packing a hammer? What ever happened to “Genital Knees”? Is there anything higher than empire? It’s the episode that dares you to eat a sauce you don’t understand!
15/01/181h 8m

A Troubling Amount of Knuck (DS9 S1E13)

When Sisko is presented with a perfect opportunity to redeem his reputation as a diplomat, he fails to recognize it for what it is. Meanwhile, Chief O’Brien is trying to keep a safe distance between himself and the doctor and failing miserably. How many clown shoes fit in the average bag? Is this old man set in his ways, or is the whole town? What’s the problem with Jake Sisko? It’s the episode with sub-Nagilum-level effects.
08/01/181h 13m

A Box that Does the Work (DS9S1E12)

When Kai Opaka makes an unscheduled visit to DS9, Commander Sisko, Major Kira and Dr. Bashir take her off the station as soon as possible. But when their Winnebago crashes onto “Planet War,” one of them will be unable to leave. Do humans in the 24th century have super eyesight? Does the promenade have a Claire’s? What’s the greatest amount of emotion depicted in Star Trek? It’s the episode that’s grandfathered into immortality.
01/01/181h 0m

Hesher Emeritus (DS9 S1E11)

When a pair of twins use their prominently placed keisters to smuggle an egg onboard the station, a deal brokered by Quark goes sideways and a man is killed. But when the prisoner shows Odo his necklace, the shape-shifter has a chain reaction. Is Lieutenant Toast a character that exists to save work doe the payroll department? Is this episode meant to be a stirring tribute to the makeup designer’s deceased father? Are these guys gum commercial twins or beer commercial twins? It’s the episode where we open ALL the presents and do ALL the ass jokes.
25/12/171h 3m

Heavy Lies the Lampshade (DS9 S1E10)

When an extremely droopy Tony Robbins convenes a group of Ferengi economic minds, scheming for profit in the Gamma Quadrant is their top priority. But when he chooses Quark as his successor, the bartender is thrust from his comfortable place behind the scenes into a spotlight that proves dangerous. Where are the eyes supposed to go? Why would a Vulcan steal homework from a Ferengi? What are the chances that Rom has a nice apartment? It’s the episode that turns on Find My Friends!
18/12/1752m 21s

Vaguely Nutcrackery (DS9 S1E9)

When diplomats from the Gamma Quadrant head straight past a good premise, they wind up in Quark’s bar. But when the Ferengi act like Ferengi, the stakes are raised for the staff of DS9 in the worst way possible. Are the Wadi elves or sharks? Is O’Brien just going to spend the rest of Season 1 on an air mattress at his mother-in-law’s house? Is Major Kira our emotional proxy? It’s the episode that is paid for with swag from a natural history museum gift shop.
11/12/1756m 37s

A Choice of Incompetence (DS9 S1E8)

When Dr. Bashir witnesses the death of a dangerous criminal, the officer in charge of his capture presupposes that...maybe he’s alive? But when a new lieutenant has some fresh ideas w/r/t station security, Odo struggles to ensure their working relationship doesn’t get burnt. When is a super dumb Bela Lugosi voice ever a good idea? How long should you have to wait before dispensing corporal punishment? Is it a good time to start killing characters? It’s the episode that ravaged us all!
04/12/1752m 10s

Rura Penthe™ Brand Gavel (S1E7)

When some sneaky aliens decide to out-creep Dr. Bashir, they attempt to abduct Jadzia. But when the trial begins, it’s unclear if she’s an ankylosaur or a floor mat. Can Odo be Christmas Lights? Is Klaestron 4 a “mask and gloves” planet? How do you direct Nana Visitor? It’s the episode with all the great older ladies.
27/11/1753m 31s

Achilles’ Ear (DS9 S1E6)

When Vash returns from the Gamma Quadrant with a sack full of toys, she brings back with her a person who knows when she’s asleep and when she’s awake. But when an auction for the quadrant’s hottest item starts causing bangers all over DS9, it’ll take more than a six finger discount to end the bidding. What kinds of holosuite programs does O’brien use to unwind after work? Have we seen ear diddling before? Is Vash more of a “cowboy” or “medium single” type? It’s an episode that was written for the wrong series!
20/11/1752m 56s

Puts the Chew on the Other Ass (S1E5)

When the station encounters its first Gamma Quadrant alien, they send the handyman down to make First Contact. But when the alien’s pursuers show up, starfleet is forced to relax its policy about gunfights on the Promenade. Is #MeToo going to still be a thing hundreds of years from now? Why does that beverage cart have googly eyes? Is the Predator canonical Flash Gordon? It’s the episode where we become each other’s extravagance buddies.
13/11/171h 5m

Nurk Goatse (DS9 S1E4)

When the inhabitants of DS9 come down with a case of flop-sweat aphasia, O'Brien has to be thinking that the sexy part comes next. But when the word salad is followed by a deadly main course, Kira turns to kidnapping as a last resort. Does the Federation have enough people to fix DS9? Is it possible to hug the sick out of someone? Can Odo turn himself into cat litter? It's the episode that does not enjoy a gentle touch.
06/11/1759m 46s

The Red Bucket (DS9 S1E3)

When a Barnaby lookalike gets a decidedly unhappy ending on the holodeck, Constable Odo becomes the prime suspect. But when the kids of Deep Space Nine use the distraction to do pranks around the station, it’s up to a very unlikely character to teach them a lesson. What do we do about movie talkers? What’s the difference between where a Bajoran keeps their genitals and where they put them? Is Odo’s relationship history more problematic than Geordi’s? It’s the episode that’s pro Vichy Bubble.
30/10/171h 2m

A Real Meet Scary (S1E2)

When Bashir makes friends with a man who is obviously a spy, the subterfuge, like the tailoring, goes way over his head. But when 90’s hair Bajorans start importing suspicious cargo, the crew will have to take risks far greater than hiding in a changing booth after store hours. Who’s your hall pass from the cast? Has DS9 overcompensated for the potted plant issue? What are Lursa and B’etor hiding with their boobs? It’s the episode where we really strain the portmanteau.
23/10/1752m 38s

Wormhole Ambergris (S1E1)

When a reluctant and somewhat recalcitrant Ben Sisko is given command of the worst neighborhood in Starfleet, a tone is set for a very different kind of Trek. But when the locals identify him as potentially playing a major role in their religion, the commander's commitment to his job comes roaring back. Is the space station a metaphor for urban Detroit? Did someone tell Nana Visitor that she was going to be the star of the series? Is Picard looking at Sisko’s junk? It’s the episode where we trade Picard’s Beavis and Butthead for Sisko’s Woo!
16/10/171h 8m

Vermeer as a Brand (TGG Retrospective)

When Star Trek: The Next Generation trots out its greatest ambassador for a special retrospective episode, it's only fair that The Greatest Generation does the same. But when the hosts start arguing over the best and worst episodes of the series, it could take more than an intergalactic cheerleader to put their relationship back together. Where did Frakes get his wardrobe? Are Members Only jackets cool again? Is this educational programming? It's the episode that takes advantage of what pretty ladies we are.
09/10/171h 6m

Welcome to The Greatest Discovery (Bonus Episode)

The Greatest Discovery Episode 1: Oopsie-Daisy MurderWhen a precursor to the Argus Array gets a hole poked in it, the Federation sends its B-team: the USS SHEzhou. But when executive officer Michael Burnham pokes a hole in a nearby Klingon, the situation escalates quickly. Is Sarek the only Vulcan teacher? Has Georgiou given Burnham too much latitude? Is Saru the COB of this episode? It’s the episode that lights a beacon that can be seen across the galaxy.
07/10/1744m 35s

Greatest Generation Forever (S7E25)

When Captain Picard starts slipping through time, his sanity is called into question. But when Q shows up to blame him for the creation of a space-time butthole, Picard must unify the crews of his past, present and future in order to save humanity. Does Star Trek First Contact bubble bath have an expiration date? Does Worf have a holodeck eating disorder? What does all this have to do with Joel Schumacher’s Batman films? It’s the episode that’s the end of one thing, and the beginning of another!
02/10/171h 20m

It’s Like They Skinned Rowlf (S7E24)

When Lieutenant Ro is sent on a mission to infiltrate the Maquis, it’s just another late-Season 7 daddy-issues episode. But when the conflict between her loyalty to the Federation and her hatred of Cardassians comes to the fore, Picard doubles down on his inappropriate workplace behavior. Is Beverly the ship’s greatest disease vector? Are Starfleet officers the narcs of the Alpha Quadrant? How are we supposed to sympathize with Bajorans when all they eat are wraps? Everybody knows that the Federation are the good guys, but what this episode presupposes is, maybe they’re not?
27/09/171h 13m

Pizza Place Tough Guy (S7E23)

When a clump of crazy straws sets up shop inside the wiring of the Enterprise, the ship’s holodeck programs become self aware. But when the characters begin to endanger the ship, they attempt to take back control by playing by their rules. Who's got time for canapés? Is there something going on between Jellico and Nechayev? Does the Parrot Army have anything to do with any of this? It's the episode where we finally decide what Riker's favorite sexual position is.
25/09/171h 6m

Young Liza Minnelli & Old Billy Eichner (S7E22)

When a mysterious probe delivers a holographic Daimon Bok to the Enterprise, it’s a revenge served lukewarm. But when Picard discovers he may have unknowingly sired a son, the ship drops everything to save the beautifully coiffed boy. Is “farmer” the most eccentric job you can have? Does Picard need to start keeping a loaded DustBuster under his pillow? Why stop work on an amazing invention five minutes before you’re done? It’s the episode where Maury Povich takes a turn as co-host.
20/09/1755m 17s

Butter Knife Bat'leth (S7E21)

When Worf and Alexander take a field trip to a Klingon renaissance fair, an assassination attempt is foiled, and an old family friend appears to help. But when Alexander decides not to go to Klingon summer camp, his mentors must face the possibility that he'll never become the warrior they want him to be. Are Eric's balloons here to stay? What does a Klingon scented candle smell like? Which one is Lursa and which one is B'Etor? It's the episode that knows where to get the raw materials.
18/09/1759m 24s

Warp Salieri (S7E20)

When Admiral Nechayev comes aboard, Picard would almost rather be relieved of command than carry out her orders. The mission coincides with Wesley’s Spring Break, and he’s eager to do some sweet bong rips to get out of the funk he’s been in. Who's the George of TNG? Why not deploy the Paul Sorvino Solution? Was anybody woke in the 90s? It’s the episode with all the pan flute. COOL!
13/09/171h 9m

Four Octaves of Intelligence Range (S7E19)

When Worf fires a photon torpedo that goes off course, Picard and Data go on a road trip to retrieve it. Meanwhile, Dr. Crusher’s cure for Lt. Barclay’s flu ends up being a step in the wrong direction. How many arboretums are there? Is Nurse Ogawa’s relationship moving too fast? Is Kevin coming to Deep Space Nine? It’s the episode that’s a really beautiful tableau.
11/09/1749m 26s

Taking It Out on the Wall (S7E18)

When a nacelle engineer totally puts himself into his work, Worf and Troi are tasked with investigating the circumstances of his death. But when Troi starts displaying some similarly troubling feelings, it's up to Worf to keep her from going over the edge. Is LiveJournal a compulsory part of a Starfleet career? Where's the boldest place to kiss someone for the first time? Are there special phasers for the elderly? It's the episode that's only slightly better than Ben Affleck's first film!
06/09/171h 5m

Emphatically Vaginal (S7E17)

When Data’s attempt to become a sculptor coincides with the ship encountering a rogue comet, eldritch emanations from the heavenly body cause him to take his exploration of an ancient art form way too far. Now the Entrepreneur is in ruins, and the only way to save it is for Picard to go incognito. Did we just witness an ice life genocide? Did Worf and Geordi doom the ship by leaving a torpedo next to an open flame in engineering? Should Picard just blow up the damn ship? It’s the episode that pauses at vag on its way to treble clef.
04/09/171h 5m

Gruffness Quotient (S7E16)

When Data crash lands on "Planet Renaissance," he starts performing feats of strength and sells dangerous cargo to the blacksmith there. Meanwhile, Counselor Troi studies for a test where her answers have life-threatening consequences. Who's ever seen Space Rangers? What is the loaf of the week? Should we change the show's logo? It's the episode that suffers from mechanical amnesia.
30/08/171h 0m

A Greek Chorus of Noxzema Commercial Kids (S7E15)

When Riker and Troi embark on a quarterly crew evaluation, four fresh-faced ensigns are pitted against each other to see who will get promoted, and who will be voted off the island. But when the Captain takes a special interest in big-dogging a familiar young Bajoran, the competition turns deadly. What does a staff meeting in Ten Forward sound like? Is Worf the best manager on the ship? Is Troi running a long con to get more face time with Lavelle? Its the episode that will serve as a time capsule for post-tour Adam and Ben to understand what pre-tour Adam and Ben were really like.
28/08/1758m 58s

Leotard Conversation (S7E14)

When Beverly’s grandma wills her an erotic candle, her eye color isn’t the only thing that changes. But Troi and Picard grow increasingly suspicious when she starts dressing like an old. Is this mayor what would happen if the Dark Crystal puppets grew up? Where do babies come from? Was Nagilum an MRA? It’s the episode where we come to loggerheads over podcasting fluid.
23/08/171h 12m

Any Pixel in a Storm (S7E13)

When Worf’s brother sends word of pending calamity at the Diet Mintakan planet he’s living on, the Enterprise is there to stand bravely and selflessly by as a young civilization is winked out of existence. But when Dr. Rozhenko sneaks some refugees aboard, the only way to prevent a full blown Prime Directive violation is for Worf to dress up as Carl Weathers. How are these holodeck outages going to affect the ship’s first officer? What’s the best window treatment on which to preserve a historical record? Why isn’t Worf respecting proper hugging etiquette? It’s the episode that is almost entirely dedicated to Paul Sorvino pasta sauce.
21/08/171h 2m

Spit Roast Big Dogging (S7E12)

When an Admiral from Starfleet Intelligence comes aboard, the Entrepreneur has to cut its holiday celebration short. But Riker’s misgivings about the mission and the man leading it boil over when a terrible, and very un-Roddenberry secret is uncovered. Is the Hood the Siberia of Starfleet? What is the top Riker? How is the Federation going to smooth this over with the Romulans? It’s the episode where Adam and Ben go to war with each other.
16/08/171h 0m

Friends of DeSoto (S7E11)

When the Enterprise investigates a misaligned telescope on one of the great arrays, Worf begins experiencing some problems focusing. But when his issues at work spill over into his home life, his wife(!) helps him get back to where he belongs. Do amputees finish ahead of people who are bad at bat'leth? What kind of camping can you do in a shuttlecraft? Is there such thing as "the ultimate man-spread"? It's the episode that proves there's no floor drains in a shuttlebay.
14/08/1756m 3s

The Symphony of My Life is Flatulence (S7E10)

When a federation planet is a bit backed up, the Entrepreneur crew pull on their rubber gloves and get to work. But when one of the scientists starts insisting she’s Data’s mother, the mystery goes more than medium-deep. What’s the perfect can? Is this canonical phaser? Will we ever record sober again? It’s the episode where Data’s similarities to Ronald Reagan really start to trickle down.
09/08/171h 9m

A Very Pronounced Headmouth (S7E9)

When the Entrepreneur goes on a search an rescue mission in a part of space with strange properties w/r/t fields, the situation gets hot in a global sort of way. A strangely loafed pair of siblings have gone Greenpeace on all local spaceships, and it’s up to Picard to deal with their inconvenient truth. When are the Ferengi going to get back to their Vegas residency? Can you Jake your own ship? Does Leonard Maltin review adult films? It’s the episode that’s a hyperbaric chamber preparing us for our trip to rock bottom.
07/08/1754m 56s

Prick For Prick (S7E8)

When Picard and Beverly are abducted and fitted for mechanical nubbins, they start to share more than a mutual love of breakfast. Back on the ship, an extremely paranoid ambassador is trying to build his own bat cave in one of the condos. Does this episode take place in an alternate brunchaverse? Is Worf picking up extra shifts in the transporter room because he’s short on scarves? Is Picard getting a write-off for that Action Jacket? It’s the episode where we finally finish the ‘card bit’…or do we?
02/08/171h 5m

All Plenty, No Horn (S7E7)

When Lwaxana Troi drinks from a telepathic firehose, it gives her a wicked headache before putting her into a coma. But when Deanna Troi's investigation results in the discovery of a dark family secret, she must find a way to escape the prison constructed within her mother's mind. What is the easiest stitch? How do you comb your hair around temple loaf? Who does the gardening in the arboretum? It’s the episode that doesn’t have as many good ideas as the number of shows we have to do.
31/07/1757m 36s

A Murder Weapon Waiting to Happen (S7E6)

When a new Warp Core is installed, Geordi and Data spend a surprising amount of time on the phone with tech support trying to get it running. The stress really gets to Data, causing him to have bizarre nightmares. Is that super 90’s guy at the conn during third shift now? What are gas prices like in the Federation these days? How hard is it to find an erotic bakery in LA? It’s the episode where we fill up a cup holder.
26/07/171h 6m

Perfect Warburton (S7E5)

When Picard turns up alive, he "kills" Commander RIker before taking command of the pirate ship. But when the Enterprise puts Data in charge of the rescue mission, workplace conflicts arise for both crews. Is pain a good leadership style? Where does Picard keep his dog tags? How do dye packs work? It's the episode where we run out of torpedoes.
24/07/171h 4m

Foam Stone Holocaust (S7E4)

When Picard turns up dead, the Entrepreneur’s new captain is a vengeance-motivated Riker with total mission discretion. But it’s not long before Riker himself is captured, leaving the ship in Data’s capable, detachable hands. How much disbelief can this show get us to suspend? What’s the best way to maintain your Rimforest? How deep in the lineup do they go before the Entrepreneur doesn’t have a qualified captain? It’s the episode where we tie a red bandana around our bust of Big Rod.
19/07/1758m 13s

A Hat Under a Hat (S7E3)

When Geordi starts dabbling in virtual reality, his Batman costume makes it look a lot cooler than it should. But when what he experiences in the virtual world starts to have real-world consequences, he must choose between a dangerous mission and the acceptance of a difficult truth. Does Picard screen calls with a text message? What is honey mustard dressing made of? Is there a burn past the 3rd degree? It's the episode that doesn't waste a side on coleslaw.
17/07/171h 0m

Botany Babe (S7E2)

When a number of ambassadors for the athleisure movement come aboard, they pair off with crew members while the captain climbs in a suspicious shuttle to their homeworld. But when Picard’s shuttle runs right into a planet and he’s rescued by a space babe, diplomacy is the last thing on anyone’s mind. Why is that roast so hard to cut? Why can Adam do dad jokes with relative impunity? Was remastering Season 7 for HD what broke the studio and caused them not to care? Why is Troi getting a sex ed lesson while that kid is in the room? It’s the episode where Adam does deep research in an effort to keep the show fresh.
12/07/171h 14m

A Fun Face for Science Fiction (S7E1)

When the Enterprise crew gets fooled for the tenth time by a kidnapped-and-taken-over Data, the skeleton crew left aboard the ship is their only hope. But when Geordi is subjected to "enhanced acupuncture," their survival depends on rebooting Data's programming. What is a Biff Yeager Unit? Does a replicator have an emergency rationing mode? What happened to Borg gender parity? It's the episode where we interview LeVar Burton!
10/07/171h 16m

Be Quiet, Grandpa (S6E26)

When the Entrepreneur investigates a trashed outpost, the Borgs return, and they’ve gone from suck to blow. Now the entire crew—and we mean the entire crew—has to go to San Diego to rescue their missing Android. Is Data’s combat program based on MacGruber? How many shift rotations do they have on Dennis Eckersley’s ship? Is Einstein just a frumpier Twain? It’s the episode with incredibly durable plating.
05/07/171h 3m

Trucker Hand (S6E25)

When Picard, Troi, Data and Geordi return from a road trip in a Federation RV, they discover that the show’s leitmotif of bad conference luck has befallen the Enterprise. But when they find their ship and crew buffering in space, it will take contributions from everyone - yes, even Deana Troi - to save them. Have you ever been "pigeon happy"? Do older ensigns begin their training at Art Instruction Schools? Is there such a thing as impression creep? It's the episode that's suffering from temporal narcosis!
03/07/1755m 38s

A Throbbing, Turgid McGuffin (S6E24)

When Lieutenant Riker finally gets picked up after eight years of perfecting his jack-kata in seclusion, he finds out that a perfect copy of him has been living his life, neglecting his girlfriend, and making choices in his career. Now the full-bearded yellow shirt is trying to win back Troi, complete the mission, and take down a few hands of poker while he’s at it. Is Night Bird a sex move? Which Riker has the more gruesome second quarters? What’s the saddest onion? It’s the episode that was recorded on a dark and stormy night.
28/06/1759m 23s

Just For Mensign (S6E23)

When Worf tampers with a smoke detector in his quarters, he's given a leave of absence to think about what he's done. But after a DNA test comes back positive for "deity," this new leader's presence creates political problems for the Klingon empire. How attached is Worf to his loaf? Can a holodeck babysit a child? Is Mr. DNA also Clippy? It's the episode that's like one long dead-air joke.
26/06/1758m 11s

Aggressively Flavorless (S6E22)

When Beverly loses her job as Chief Medical Officer, Guinan can feel the storm coming in her joints. The Doctor proceeds to Rashomon the story of her dismissal to the mysterious bartender, in one of the most peculiarly structured episodes yet. Did Dr. Crusher start getting into subspace to be close to her son? Did the Vulcan Science Academy get woke? Can hats violate the laws of physics? It’s the episode where we fall in love with a dreamy police detective.
21/06/1759m 35s

(A Man With) Very Suspicious Loaf (S6E21)

When Commander Riker’s mind is compromised on a dangerous mission, his jailers convince him that the life he knew aboard the Entrepreneur has been a fantasy. But when the firewall he’s erected to preserve his sanity begins to crack, Riker must keep his edge or risk finishing his reality too soon. Is the Entrepreneur a Seattle-chill type place? How deep is too deep to bow? Is that a Cardassian pillow? It’s the episode you can think of in a pinch, to keep you in the game.
19/06/1757m 16s

You’ll Know We’ve Reached the Bottom (S6E20)

When Picard’s archaeology mentor comes aboard bearing gifts, it gives him a bad case of career FOMO. And when the professor wraps his Previa around a tree, the captain feels compelled to use it as an excuse to avoid a potentially perilous conference. Is TNG the secret source of contemporary baby names? Did that Cardassian bridge go up someone’s nose? Why didn’t they ever explain why that ship asplode? Can we get through a plot about the theory of panspermia without making puerile jokes? It’s the episode where Adam really commits to his tentacle fetish.
14/06/171h 5m

Planet Scorcher (S6E19)

When Captain Picard falls for a pointy coworker, the harmony of their relationship reverberates throughout the ship. But when things heat up on a nearby planet, Picard must make a choice between saving some lives and extinguishing their romance. What's the least Kevin-y impression? Is the Hood the only place you can be truly safe? Who's had the worst life on the show? It's the episode with a decidedly non-Naked Gun love story.
12/06/1756m 28s

A Man, A Plan, A Barion Sweep – Entrepreneur! (S6E18)

When the Entrepreneur is getting sprayed for space bugs, the entire crew disembarks for a local planet famous for its incessant smalltalk and picturesque horse riding trails. But when a ruthless group of criminals try to steal the nastiest stuff that comes out of the ship’s reactor, only JL Pipes can stop them. How often do the ship’s flight attendants have to do a brief safety demonstration? What other ‘hand stuff’ did Picard learn from Sarek? Is this just Wars trying to pull a heist on Trek? It’s the episode where chattiness is punishable by death.
07/06/171h 8m

LoJack Worf (S6E17)

When Worf is taken prisoner behind enemy lines, he turns his incarceration into a Cool Hand Worf-type situation. But when the inmates start regarding their farm implements as the weapons they are, the warden increases Worf's sentence...to death! Do Klingons have two-factor suicide authentication? Why does Worf fall in love so easily? What's the most offensive portmanteau? It's the episode that looks a lot better at night.
05/06/1751m 46s

He’s Not My Android (S6E16)

When alien technology and indigestion trigger parallel daddy quests for Data and Worf, one goes fully suicidal while the other goes full Rambo. All this is set against a tense backdrop of Captain Picard doing some aqueduct diplomacy and Dr. Crusher doing something decidedly naughty in Quark’s holosuites. Is Deep Space 9 well-lubricated enough for that space butthole? Did Farmer Hoggett get horribly burned in a fire? Under what circumstances is it OK for Worf to go on an unsanctioned black ops mission behind enemy lines? It’s the episode with the seven stages of podcast preparation.
31/05/171h 14m

The Bell Curve of Mountain to Armus (S6E15)

When Captain Picard spills an awful lot of pasta sauce on the front of his uniform, the all-powerful Q gives him an opportunity to make out with his hot friend from college. Now he has to play a round of Would You Rather where the choice is a sword to the heart or having a boring joe job. Does Wolf 359 go in the Picard column or the Q column? Why all the impalements? What does Predator Hair Metal sound like? How can Marta be so comfortable as the last clapper? It’s the episode that needs a universal translator for the word ‘embarrassment.’
29/05/171h 17m

Li’lest Bɿeadbox (S6E14)

When Troi blacks out at a raging psychology conference, she wakes up having made some poor decisions the night before. Now she’s got to do a very dangerous walk of shame across the bridge of a Romulan war ship! Are the breadboxes the most or least kinky uniform? How far in advance do you need to book an appointment with Mr. Mot? How does Barash figure into all this? It’s the show that might have Ben’s most embarrassing admission yet.
24/05/171h 4m

Pretty Rough for a First Timer (S6E13)

When the Entrepreneur investigates a murder at the end of a breakfast buffet line, a very small station has a very big problem. But when the deceased officer's diary turns Geordi's investigation into titillation, Commander Riker has to step in between "a rock and Geordi's place." How much do you resent a roommate bringing a dog? Which cast member is an acceptable loss? Does this represent the end of the "Star Trek is a place" theory? It's the episode that's on a civilian-clothed date.
22/05/1759m 26s

He’s A Real Evil Boy (S6E12)

When the Entrepreneur’s holodeck tries going for a deep callback, the crew is once again facing a villain that can defeat Data. Now a man who should be inside the computer is wandering all over the ship and causing all kinds of trouble. Did Q steal that book? Is Picard trying his equivalent of ‘giving the chocolate’ to Moriarty? Who gives Guinan the most hat-envy? Everybody knows that holodeck peril is a snooze-worthy premise. It’s an episode that presupposes, maybe it isn’t?
17/05/1752m 3s

No Stranger to Terrible Implants (S6E11)

When Captain Jellico relieves Commander Riker of duty, his mission becomes finding the next best hot shot shuttlecraft pilot. (Unfortunately, that's not Geordi.) Meanwhile, Captain Picard is subjected to a form of torture that many would find WAY over the line. How many channels does Gul Madred get on that remote control? What would it take before Riker considered mutiny? How much bun is safe to show on TV? It's the episode that leaves the show a bit better than we found it.
15/05/1758m 8s

A Reverence for the D (S6E10)

When Picard and the Entrepreneur crew break up, but he can’t move out for a few weeks, things get awkward. Meanwhile there’s a new captain aboard to Hackman the shit out of Riker’s Denzel. What is this mission anyways? How do you keep it 💯 with the Cardassians? Is being the good guys mutually exclusive with being the smart guys? It’s the episode where we get serious about Greatest Gen Con Twenty Seventeen 📢📢📢.
10/05/171h 5m

Business Casual Station (S6E9)

When the Entrepreneur rolls up on a pretty basic space station, the crew attempts to gauge if the mining being done there is up to snuff. Unfortunately, questions about "what constitutes life" get in the way of their review, and Commander Data misbehaves again. What's under a Klingon's beard? How many classes does Worf teach? Where did the rocks come from? It's the episode that's not as cute as WALL-E.
08/05/1754m 51s

Back to the Future-Level Breast Loaf (S6E8)

When Geordi tries to jump start the Entrepreneur with Data’s battery, it causes some glitches in Worf’s playthrough of Red Dead Redemption. Now all the NPCs are Data, and Data is all the NPCs, and nobody can find the reset button. How deep is the shallow end of the R-rated pool? Is there anything more honorable than murdering Barclay? Its the episode where we play our own drinking game. #Problematic #BonsallBlaming
03/05/171h 17m

Captain Potter (S6E7)

When a Previa containing Captain Picard, Ensign Ro, Guinan (and some other minor character) are transformed from the proud adults we've come to know into children, it becomes a great time for an enemy to hijack the Entrepreneur. Unfortunately, these hijackers are NOT smarter than a 5th grader. What is the worst ring tone? Why doesn't young Picard have an inner monologue? What's the market like for a used Galaxy Class starship? It's the episode that's working in shifts.
01/05/1757m 16s

The Deep End of the Pool (S6E6)

When the Entrepreneur’s new internship program is announced, the first participant is a brilliant orphan who fits right in. But when she starts showing off her I Dream of Jeannie impression, the crew’s most hated god-thing shows up to reprise his role as judge, jury and executioner. How did the costume department spin cloth out of cotton candy? What does being adopted have to do with fighting a warp explosion with your bare hands? Why does Gates get all the hair? It’s the episode we’ll be a little bit embarrassed to talk about at our high school reunions.
26/04/171h 8m

Munch Longevity (S6E5)

When Commander Riker can't get enough sleep, his stamina for duty is called into question. But after having his arm swabbed for DNA by a bunch of lobster-handed aliens, the Enterprise crew decides to set up their holodeck for a CSI-style investigation. What is the Nubbin campaign policy? How long will scissors be a thing? Are Picard and Lt. Jae dating? It's the episode recording from a Shimoda-themed keg party!
24/04/171h 2m

The Good Chills (S6E4)

When a dustbuster club gets on BART, they find one old rider who’s had some of his own Entrepreneur adventures. Now they’ve got to find a way to help this hopeless old fit in with their hip new ship. Where does the rubber meet the worldbuilding road? What job skills wouldn’t be obsolete after several decades? What did Guinan think her job was when everybody lost their memory? Was that a dip to black or a dip to commercial? Its the one with the green podcast fluid.
19/04/1755m 25s

A Funereal Disease (S6E3)

When an important diplomat and his mother hitch a ride to a peace negotiation, her hostility toward Counselor Troi is palpable. But when the diplomat uses Troi's mind as his mental toilet, leaving the seat up is the least of her concerns. What attracts Craigslist roommates? How big is Worf's knife block? How much white-out did the line producer have? It's the episode that's "Apparently..."-level bad.
17/04/1759m 19s

Legit Fangoria (S6E2)

When the Entrepreneur finds another broken down scout ship, Barclay’s clever plan to get over to the ship doesn’t go unpunished. Thrown into a paralyzing inner struggle, the only way the young lieutenant can confront his fear of being swept up in the matter stream is by grabbing onto a turd for dear life. When was the last time Reg or Miles used conditioner? Where are the admirals who have been in the shit? Did Barclay take a page from the Chaotic Bro playbook? It’s the episode that will trigger a deluge of complaints from the Betazoid alternative medicine community.
12/04/1755m 19s

Mad Pleating (S6E1)

When the Enterprise crew is hot on the trail of some inter-dimensional murderers, they can't help but dress for the occasion. But when the second in a two part episode (which could really have been three, or only one) devolves into an incoherent mess, we decide to rewrite it ourselves. What is the one impression we refuse to do? What do Data snitches get, if not stitches? How much less is less, and how much more is more? It's the episode that does not lack conviction!
10/04/1759m 42s

The Manure is the Only Thing That’s Missing (S5E26)

When an overdramatic tour guide reveals a Data head at the end of some San Francisco sightseeing, the Entrepreneur crew is thrust into a tense temporal thriller. But before long, the tone shifts, and the show returns to its roots of daring viewers to come back after their summer break. Are we going to get the rest of our socks in the next episode? Why is Data a liar in this episode? It’s an episode that starts off in an Undiscovered Country, but gets lost in Back to the Future Part III.
05/04/171h 6m

You Do Not Want to Get the Creams Confused (S5E25)

When Captain Picard is zapped by a probe from a long-lost culture, the bridge crew doesn't try to move his body. But after he starts to like the soup within his hallucination, everyone starts to wonder if their captain will ever regain consciousness. Where's the perineum, really? How do you stay looking busy during a workplace medical emergency? What's the best way to ask a houseguest to leave? It's the episode we're recording from the desert southwest!
03/04/171h 2m

Grief Procrastination (S5E24)

When the Entrepreneur pulls off the road to help a broken down Romulan ship, Geordi and Ro go missing. Now Data has to plan a funeral, and really only talks at length about that with Worf. How many breadboxes does one ship need? Who has the best orange wedges between the transporter chief, the helmsperson, and the backup doctor? Have Doctor Crusher and Geordi ever hung out? What’s the right karaoke song to whip out at a friend’s funeral? It’s an episode with headcanon we had to practice for with a toothbrush.
29/03/171h 6m

You Don't Name The Cow (S5E23)

When an away team finds the sad, sole survivor of a crashed Borgs ship, the Enterprise crew re-thinks whether or not they want to put an offer down on a property. But after Dr. Crusher nurses him back to health, Geordi develops feelings for him, which is problematic for a variety of reasons. What is Guinan's security clearance? How honest should Geordi's Tinder profile be? What is the "King Fly"? It's the episode that has an asterisks next to it in the record book!
27/03/1758m 23s

Queen of the Slickbacks (S5E22)

When the ship drives some of its wheels over a wet lawn, things start to slow down. If that wasn’t boring enough, our focus is almost entirely on a couple of cherubic little girls running around sensitive areas of the ship. Why doesn’t Ogawa have a back-zip yet? How do you get to be a forty year-old ensign? Should Alexander be playing with his loaf like that? It’s an episode that Ben was very embarrassed to watch in public.
22/03/1755m 12s

No More Lead in the Pencil (S5E21)

When the Entrepreneur makes an unscheduled stop on the way to a passenger's destination, the diversion puts more than the ship's 5-star rating in jeopardy. But when a giant Glassybaby in the cargo bay falls over, its contents prove to be irresistible to just about everyone on board (except those with a special conscience). Who's working the bag check on the Enterprise? Is the marimba the most romantic instrument? What qualifies as a tragedy? It's the episode that will force you to take a cold shower, afterwards!
20/03/1758m 1s

Mud Bath Nightmare (S5E20)

When some stripper glitter starts clogging critical ship systems, the Entrepreneur crew have a much worse problem to deal with—and she has kompromat on the show’s writers. In what way does this differ from Burning Man? What’s wrong with Adam’s chili recipe? Is the ship’s computer rejecting the premise of the episode? How is Minister Campio ever gonna get a square job when he has all those crazy tats? It’s the episode that separates the Pee-Wee from The Boys.
15/03/171h 9m

Resting Grief Face (S5E19)

When Captain Picard returns to Earth to give a commencement speech at Wesley (The BOY?!) Crusher's academy graduation, no one stops to consider what happened LAST time he was in the Terran system. Meanwhile, Wesley's entire squadron is under investigation after an accident kills a teammate. Is it possible to hear embarrassment? Should you always start a speech with a joke? How much loaf are you allowed to bring through customs? It's the episode that's as comfortable as possible, at the expense of looking good.
13/03/171h 0m

A Previa Dealership (S5E18)

When the Entrepreneur asplode, this one Sonny and Cher song keeps playing over and over again, and it’s giving Geordi a headache. The crew starts to become aware that there may in fact be a glitch in the Matrix, and the clock is ticking on coming up with a good escape plan. Why doesn’t the ship have any crumple zones? What’s the best way to ruin the film Undercover Brother? Does Riker have a little bit of palsy? It’s the episode that establishes Frasier as Canonical Trek.
08/03/171h 22m

The Husk Shot is Verboten (S5E17)

When the Entrepreneur finds an area of space that does not conform with the crew's preconceptions, they aren't sure which pronouns to use to describe it. They face a similar challenge addressing a race of people inhabiting a nearby planet, which inspires Commander Riker to employ some Pea Soup diplomacy. Can we finally be funny about a serious story? How do you get stink off of a main character? What color is Worf's boogie board? It's the episode that features a brand new Previa!
06/03/171h 1m

Didn’t Even Consider the Bangers (S5E16)

Worf’s run of bad back luck continues, and this time it’s a prognosis worse than death for the carpet-clad warrior. Now Dr. Crusher is desperate to stop another space Mengele from using Worf as a loafy Guinea pig, and Riker is disgusted with the Klingon’s fatalistic belief system. Is the ‘bay the only thing Worf hates more than doors? Are all spinal surgeons this Sajaky? Why are all of Picard’s opinions so chill? It’s the episode with the Ron Canada drinking game.
01/03/171h 7m

The Polar Region (S5E15)

When the Enterprise responds to a distress signal sent by an ugly starship, they decide to rendezvous with it in a dark planetarium. But after their away team returns acting strangely they start a firefight in ten-forward, where no glass table is safe. How far will O'brien go to avoid dinner with Keiko? How much prep is involved in trying a new orbit? Can a transporter help with "going clear"? It's the episode where we open some fresh cards!
27/02/171h 11m

Lipizzaner Stallions All the Way Down (S5E14)

When the crew forgets who they are, an extra voice is added to the mix, confusing even the most careful radio listener. The ship is running silent on a critical mission to take out a hated enemy, but when Picard gets an itchy buoy-floating finger, the XO threatens mutiny. Is MacDuff using Riker’s battle bridge as his sleeping quarters? Who is typically armed when working on the bridge? Is the bad guy grosser, or less gross than Remmick? It’s an episode that can only be heard, and never seen.
22/02/171h 1m

Alt Biosphere (S5E13)

When the Enterprise crew tracks the path of some interstellar star trash, they discover a biosphere built inside an outlet mall. But when their genetically engineered population thinks about hitching a ride out of the way, Captain Picard has to decide how long to delay their decision. Why is everyone okay with eugenics all of a sudden? Who is at the top of the Moab IV food chain? Could we talk about John Hurt for a minute? It's the episode that's really a "Ron Canada Drinking Game."
20/02/1754m 15s

Hundred Proof Star Trek (S5E12)

When some aliens with very upsetting temple loaf hitch a ride, Troi wakes up in a coma after one of them forces himself inside her mind. Unaware of the crime or its gravity, the crew tries to figure out what’s causing senior staff to slip into comas one by one. Is Riker really a horrible person? Did Marina Sirtis really punch that guy? It’s the episode that is almost impossible to make jokes about.
15/02/171h 18m

Thrift Store Data (S5E11)

When Data rescues the only survivor from a wrecked starship, his feats of strength are so impressive that the boy can't help but want to be like him. But when his android burlesque goes deeper than just getting a new haircut, the story about what happened on his ship gets called into question. What do you do about blown sideburns? Who wrote an insult in Troi's yearbook? What is the capitol of Nebraska? It's the episode the final chapter of "The Slickback Trilogy."
13/02/171h 0m

Male Pattern Loaf (S5E10)

When the Entrepreneur takes part in an exciting propulsion experiment, Worf is distracted by the demands that fatherhood has thrust upon him. His son Alexander is coming to live on the ship whether we like it or not. Is the scientist an alien, or just a guy who didn’t listen to his dermatologist? Is stealing a thing when there are replicators? Why is that one toy so ubiquitous in medical environments? Its a show of false starts and big farts.
08/02/171h 3m

A Big Fan of Scarcity (S5E9)

When a burlap clad professor from the 26th century pulls his doorstop up to the Entrepreneur, they take a detour from rescuing an imperiled planet to fill out his questionnaires. But when he starts taking the five finger discount on all the ship’s tricorders, the previously credulous crew gets angry. Will Geordi’s tauntaun freeze before he reaches the first marker? Why couldn’t Guinan have cleared this whole thing up? Is this guy here just to do historical booty calls? It’s an episode that really asks a lot of us.
06/02/1754m 5s

A Pun Hiding in Plain Sight (S5E8)

When Captain Picard finds Ambassador Spock on Romulus, he attempts to talk him into returning home before their next meal. Spock demurs, and instead chooses to visit a ramen place everyone's raving about. Meanwhile, Commander Riker goes to a karaoke bar with Worf, whose interpretation of an opera song is not a hit with the audience. Do Trekkers have to choose between "Old Testament Rod" or "New Testament Rod"? What is an HHHHJ? It's the episode where Adam messes up his audio!
01/02/171h 4m

Fractionally Loafier (S5E7)

When Admiral TKTKTK gives Picard an emergency message, it’s news nobody wants to hear: It looks like Ambassador Spock is being a rebellious teen. Now the Captain and Data will have to go to Romulus to make sure there’s a chaperone at the party Spock went to. Meanwhile, the Entrepreneur is trying to figure out what the pawn shop was thinking when they sold a ship that the Vulcans were still making payments on. Is this how Picard talks to customer support? What does Romulan Burlesque look like? Are all great strategists also stuffy pricks? It’s the episode where Data and Picard bring all the things.
30/01/171h 0m

Werebear PTSD (S5E6)

When Commander Riker returns from holiday on Risa, he's totally obsessed with playing "Suck Disk." But when Wesley (The Boy?!) sees how dumb-looking the glasses are, he turns his sights on an age-appropriate co-worker instead. Which sexual subculture are you into if you display a horga'hn AND credit cards? What color is Worf's apron? How many Coogi sweaters are in Wesley's closet? It's the episode where we've given up dessert flirtation games!
25/01/1754m 26s

A Tour of Bangers (S5E5)

When the Entrepreneur takes a smoke break in-between Uber missions, the ship is afflicted by some of the biggest bangers yet. The scattered crew have to do what they do best: solve problems that only crazy television writers could think up. What will befall all the extra glass tables in Ten Forward? What Christmas Pageant did these kids come from? Will Data’s suicide wish finally come true? What’s Worf going to do with the placenta? It’s the episode where our wives pull a Jeep out of a ditch.
23/01/1756m 5s

The Pudding Button (S5E4)

When the glass pinecone that Data’s brother has been hanging around with makes an unwanted reappearance, it dashes Riker’s hope of post-curry coitus. Starfleet is quick to dispatch a rare old lady-scientist to debate everybody about the relative merits of revenge. Is Captain Picard turning into Burke? Who should shampoo Adam’s crotch? Will she turn Data into an even weirder real doll? You don’t need to be an empath to know that this episode is not in its right mind.
18/01/1753m 7s

The Shelby Treatment (S5E3)

When "The Bad Girl of Starfleet" beams aboard the Entrepreneur, the crew treats her like an outcast. But when a sneaky admiral assigns her a secret mission, her true nature is revealed. How do you get an appointment at Starfleet Supercuts? How does Guinan know when you need her? Just what is Starfleet Uniform Code, anyway? It's the episode that's one big love letter to Michelle Forbes.
16/01/1756m 48s

Hiding the Judd (S5E2)

When the walls fall at Shaka, Kiazi’s children’s faces get really wet. The beast is at Tanagra, but it’s anyone’s guess where Darmok and Jalad are w/r/t the ocean. Will Zinda’s face be black and his eyes red? Who, if not Mirab, is going to unfurl these sails? Is Uzani’s army going with the fist open or the fist closed? Is the river Temarc in winter or what? It’s the episode that opens Sokath’s eyes.
11/01/1758m 51s

The Phoenix Problem (S5E1)

When the Enterprise chooses the flashpoint of a Klingon civil war to begin the galaxy's biggest game of Cat's Cradle, Klingon Jake's future in the empire is at stake. But when Captain Picard's most dramatic "Apparently..." story comes back to haunt him, it's up to Commander Data to take command of a little ship with a secret strategy. Does the Sutherland have a clip show machine? What's the name of the captain from Crimson Tide? It's the episode where lose all our feminist credibility by playing a terrible game that we're extremely ashamed of.
09/01/1756m 32s

Love Those Puffs (S4E26)

Worf’s honor and civil war hang in the balance when Captain Picard is called back to Qo’nos to be a witness on Gowron’s ketubah. But there’s a not-so-sneaky Romulan sneaking around, and the Duras Sisters are eager to ruin the big jacket-putting-on ceremony. Is that Klingon Jake? Is Guinan the best marksman on the Entrepreneur? Does ‘Romyarlan’ work? How does it affect the monitors if you sharpen a pencil on a Klingon ship? It’s Part One of a two episode arc about how close to death Ben can be and still record a podcast.
04/01/1759m 21s

Canadian Cute (S4E25)

When a workplace romance ignites between Data and a co-worker, the nebula they're studying isn't the only place where the fireworks are going off. But when dark matter starts getting flung at the ship, Captain Picard must arrange for a tow to get the Entrepreneur out of danger. Can you get satisfaction from a dark button? What happens when you go "full Nic Cage"? How do you clean a carpet stain that's REALLY in there? It's the episode that sounds like the hosts are fighting.
02/01/1755m 5s

That’s How You Grow Creepy Chickens (S4E24)

When Geordi gets Manchurian Candidated by Romulans, Data has to do a whole lot of research to uncover the plot, and we suspect that a Klingon ambassador might be from Shaolin Island. Is Deanna hitting on Geordi? Is Chief O’Brien the most potted of all the plants on the ship? Why is Data downrange when they test-fire the gun for ballistics? It might be the most racist episode of Trek yet.
28/12/1657m 11s

Confiding in a Blender (S4E23)

When Dr. Crusher falls in love with a gassy diplomat, her attraction only goes skin-deep. That doesn't stop Commander Riker from attempting a sexual conquest that has, up until now, been strictly off-limits. How long are you locked up for Grand Theft Body? Is there such a thing as a "sexual matrix"? What's Riker packing, anyway? It's the episode that suffers from a case of body whiplash!
26/12/1651m 14s

Not Quite as Boob-y (S4E22)

When Lwaxanna Troi gets the hots for an alien scientist, she throws diplomacy out the window to chastise his species end of life practices. It’s a great deal from Picard who gets to spend a blessed episode out of her crosshairs. Why did the makeup department let this guy’s loaf get smeared that badly? Is that sun-explosion effect from iMovie 2? How do you roast a Husnock? It’s our gift-touchdown episode.
21/12/1655m 24s

More Labial Than Chihuly (S4E21)

When a non-OEM part installed during their last starbase visit leaves the Enterprise by the side of the road, the crew looks for someone to blame. But when the crew's investigation moves a patsy into their crosshairs, it turns out that he's guilty of something totally unrelated. Is an elephant's foot the most unlucky foot? When is it appropriate to show your ass in court? Do you have to pay extra for dialogue? It's the episode that's all ends, and no means.
19/12/1654m 16s

Duke Gingersnap (S4E20)

When Captain Picard’s vacation fling comes aboard, his carefully cultivated facade of paternalistic authority begins to break apart. Then, instead of us getting a series of events exploring the ramifications of that, Q shows up and ruins everything. Which early 90s celebrity was John De Lancie taking his hair cues from? Why did they give Geordi the guitar? What compelled the writers to humiliate their characters like this? It’s the episode where there must have been a free castle set, because why else would it have ever been written?
14/12/1644m 17s

A Special, Weird Kind of Losing (S4E19)

When Lieutenant Barclay gets struck by lightning by an alien probe, he starts solving problems all over the ship. But when he starts sticking things into the computer that don't belong there, it's up to the crew of the Entrepreneur to unplug him. What is a bursar? How do you build a plane in mid-air? Isn't it always best to be friends with your ex? It's the episode that won't get you invited back to game night.
12/12/1659m 41s

Pretty Chill for Assimilating Aliens (S4E18)

When Starfleet officers that five years previously were all on the same mission as Geordi start returning to the scene of the crime, disappearing crewmen is suddenly more than just a figure of speech. Now Geordi has to contend with the idea that he too may develop a dreaded case of lobster claw. Can Geordi CSI this mystery before it’s too late? Can’t Worf just put The Club on all the Previa’s steering wheels? Can Data stop reminding everybody that he’s an android? Where were they storing that Clip Show Device? It’s the episode that answers the question, why not Zoidberg?
07/12/1649m 5s

It Isn't Quite Spooky, But It Is Upsetting (S4E17)

When the Enterprise responds to a distress call sent by a ship full of dead bodies, what the away team finds over there keeps everyone up at night. But when sleep issues threaten to kill everyone on the ship, it's up to Counselor Troi to find a solution that may have something to do with her weird pot dreams. Is this episode a sequel to The Naked Now? Will a B-plus Pacino impression cut it on this podcast? Could Riker's hair be an instrument for measuring the crew's health? It's the episode that's basically Nagilum's wet dream.
05/12/1646m 34s

So Zesty (S4E16)

When the woman who unwittingly modeled for Geordi’s favorite real doll boards the ship, the Chief Engineer is scrambling to understand why she isn’t as receptive to his romantic overtures as her lookalike. To make matters worse, an alien pot pie has been tossed at the ship, and the crew is having a heck of a time cleaning it off. Why won’t the Captain ever let Worf raise the shields? What ever happened to that calzone? Is this whole thing Guinan’s fault? It’s the episode where TNG goes full MRA.
30/11/1645m 41s

It's Why You Join Starfleet (S4E15)

When Commander Riker gets injured on a first contact mission, his alien doctors examine all kinds of appendages they aren't familiar with. But while making sure he recovers as fully as possible, the leaders of the planet must decide if they want to enter an exciting, spacefaring future, or stay in the cold, microwave-less past. What is an "Implied Riker"? How many writing credits does it take to break a script? Does Riker "first contact and tell"? It's the first episode back from our tour and we have SO much to catch up on!
28/11/1650m 35s

Buffalo Troi Voice (S4E14)

When the entire crew passes out after traveling through a wormhole, the evidence starts to finally persuade them that Data is the gravest threat to the ship that they face on an ongoing basis. Now Picard has to go all Dixon Hill on everybody’s ass until he can get some answers. Will Data be stripped down to his wires? Where the hell was Guinan during this whole thing? Why can’t Worf be bothered to implement any basic security procedures? It’s the episode where Troi huffs some green paint.
23/11/1646m 53s

Rotten with Ziggurats (S4E13)

When "the devil" starts dropping bangers on an entire planet, it's up to Captain Picard to help fiddle their way out of a terrible contract. Unfortunately, his attire is completely inappropriate for the occasion. How many ziggurats are right for an agrarian society? Can an android get his tongue stuck on a frozen flagpole? Who's got Uri Geller vibes? It's the episode where the hosts go "fully-biblical"!
21/11/1645m 55s

A Honda Del Sol-Type Starship (S4E12)

Now that we’re finally into the meat of the series, we can really start digging into what matters most about Star Trek: The Next Generation: O’Brien and Keiko’s weird marriage. Why have they never talked about what foods they like? What does the Chief even like about Keiko? Why is she marrying him when his career is clearly in the sonic toilet? It’s the episode where we keep up with the Cardassians.
16/11/1655m 16s

Chiaroscuro, All The Way Down (S4E11)

When a Vulcan diplomat needs a ride into Romulan space, the Enterprise is her UberXL (if only to transport her giant Pope hat). Meanwhile, people are doing things that they think will make Chief O'Brien happy, with disastrous consequences. Is O'Brien in an arranged marriage? Is it hard to stay together when your ship is named "Divorce"? Does Data have "Incognito Mode"? It's the Nebuchadnezzar of bottle episodes!
14/11/1650m 15s

A Hat Big Enough For The Occasion (S4E10)

When Troi’s special power slips away from her, she wastes no time in throwing in the towel. It’s looking like the crew will need to get by with Guinan as the counselor. What’s up with communicator continuity in this episode? Is this the right bag to pack twelve iPads in? It’s the episode where we find out how pollination works, but also that Ben is kind of an idiot.
09/11/1652m 1s

A Smattering of Loaf (S4E9)

When a twist beginning crash lands Captain Picard and young Wesley Crusher (The Boy?!) onto a desolate planet, the constant bickering drives the third wheel of their group to drink. It's too bad Commander Riker is too busy taking out someone else's trash to mount a timely rescue mission. What does it take to get a 6 star Uber rating? Are children chained inside the saucer section? Is this how radiation works? It's the episode where we introduce a new mountainside sculpture to our repertoire!
07/11/1649m 58s

The Fart Cave (S4E8)

When Riker inhales the wrong gas, his memory of the last sixteen years is wiped. He is the captain now, but he has no idea how he got there! Da fuq is Riker asking this turbo lift? Why is Worf so hunchy? Did they get that mask at the Halloween store? It’s an episode with one of the all time bad buttons.
02/11/161h 5m

The P'tachlin Group (S4E7)

When Worf's ex-girlfriend beams onboard with the son he didn't know he had, it starts to affect his performance at work. Their domestic conflict has to take a back seat in the storyline when a diplomatic conflict heats up between two factions warring for control of the Klingon Empire. Is it appropriate to send an Evite to a political summit? How bad of a year do you need to have to forget that you were almost murdered? What's the most effective way for HR to approach a Klingon about his behavior? It's the episode we recorded from an internet ghost town!
31/10/1658m 8s

It’s That Tight (S4E6)

Tasha Yar’s estranged sister doesn’t just look like Sarah Conner, she’s the Enterprise’s only hope to help save some abducted crewmen. But her affiliation with the Confederacy has everyone on edge. Did these street gangs get their jewels from Logan’s Run? What Skynyrd songs does this fusion reactor have? What happened to that chip clip that used to be at the craft services table? It’s the episode that marks our formal entrée into 90’s haircast.
26/10/1654m 16s

The Most Suggestive Instrument (S4E5)

When an old friend of Dr. Crusher's bails on their plans, she thinks he might have fallen on the ship and can't get up. But as her story begins to unravel, squints of suspicion abound from an unbelieving (and shrinking) Enterprise crew. How difficult is a three-finger handshake? Are scarves a good substitute for grass? How old is your oldest friend? It's the episode that came back from the dead!
24/10/1648m 0s

The Gordian Sock (S4E4)

When the Enterprise crew finds a human survivor aboard a wrecked Talarian ship, the young man wants to be roommates with Captain Picard. Unfortunately, Picard's quarters is filled with glass tables and a knife collection. Why can't Picard recognize when someone goes "full vineyard"? Does "asymmetrical loaf" indicate a breakthrough in alien makeup design? Is a vest of bratwurst this year's hit Halloween party costume? It's part two of The Slickback Trilogy!
19/10/1654m 18s

You Never Go Full Clipshow (S4E3)

When an innocent prank puts a little boy’s life in danger, it’s not great timing for Data’s dad to hijack his mind, and by extension the whole ship. Things go from bad to worse when Data’s brother Lore shows up, and Soong is blinded to Lore’s fairly blatant evilness by fatherly love. What was that situation on the Pakled ship like? What’s gonna happen when Data is up in the stirrups? Where do you buy those blankets for protecting an elevator on moving day? It’s the Klumpiest episode yet!
17/10/161h 1m

No Pathos in a Bowl Cut (S4E2)

While the ship is being duct taped back together after a certain ‘incident,’ the crew takes some time to dredge up grievances with their loved ones. For Picard, it’s his stridently conservative brother. For Worf, it’s his embarrassing parents. For Wesley (the boy?!) it’s an old holo tape of his dad’s that isn’t as exciting to find as that sounds. Are replicators just microwaves? Does retirement still make people crazy in the 24th century? It's the episode where we speculate about what ever happened to Jim Shimoda.
12/10/1651m 45s

The Hammer Loop (S4E1)

When Commander Riker fires on a ship containing Captain Picard, it's finally clear why he passed up all those other promotions. But when facing an enemy who knows all his best moves, the newly-promoted Riker must resort to some unorthodox techniques to save the human race. Where is the USS Hood? What is a "personal banger"? How do you dispose of a pip? It's a great episode buried in a pile of garbage!
10/10/161h 1m

Nice Implants (S3E26)

When a hot shot young commander starts angling for Commander Riker's job, it is fortuitous timing that Captain Picard gets kidnapped by the Borgs. The newly-promoted Riker plays it cool while doing everything he can to get him back, but when Picard shows up on FaceTime with some gaudy new implants, he decides to end their relationship. What is the Borgs' target demographic? Is Commander Shelby giving off Ivanka Trump vibes? Does losing Picard qualify as "acceptable losses" to Worf? It's the episode where we do an unnecessary Indiana Jones roll!
05/10/1656m 39s

Mount Knuckmore (S3E25)

When the Enterprise beams aboard the mysterious survivor of a space ship crash, it's up to Dr. Crusher to nurse him back to health. But when the patient starts placing his "gifted hands" upon some of the crew, Captain Picard must decide if his crimes can be so easily wiped away. What does Geordi's VISOR smell like? Where can we get a "Body Glove Wetsuit O'Brien" action figure? Is this Worf's idea of dating? It's the episode where the hosts prefer the blue Powerade.
03/10/1654m 17s

Yub Yub (S3E24)

Send help! I’m trapped in a podcast factory and they’re forcing me to write a capsule for an episode featuring Ferengis AND Lwaxana Troi!
28/09/1655m 37s

Kool-Aid Jacuzzi (S3E23)

When a legendary Vulcan diplomat starts acting strangely ahead of an important conference, the Enterprise crew chalks it up to old age. But when his brand of mental disability becomes contagious, glass tables around the ship aren't the only thing in jeopardy. Can we workshop a worse throw-to-title scene? Is this episode "canonical Ghostbusters 2"? What happens to a kid at a bar fight? It's the episode where we learn, "Never mind-meld with your heroes."
26/09/1644m 42s

Nice (S3E22)

When a con man abducts commander Data, his only ways to pass the time are trying to smile and trying to sing to a hand puppet. The Enterprise crew’s only hope is to start taking Geordi’s conspiracy theory website seriously. What century has the best bubblegum smell? How anti-semitic is this whole deal? Is her chin messed up because alien or because surgery? It’s an episode that has fewer small hand jokes than it probably should.
21/09/1655m 3s

Magazine in the Woods (S3E21)

When a problematic engineer takes out his frustrations on the holodeck, everyone questions the protocol of recreating real crew members there. But after the ship's glassware is threatened, the fragility of the rest of the Enterprise systems are exposed. Why can't you just transfer your problems to the USS Hood? How do you responsibly dispose of your old pornography? Is Geordi not the creepiest guy on the ship anymore? It's the episode where "trouble always follows."
19/09/1650m 45s

Space Pinecone (S3E20)

When low rent Michael Rapaport comes aboard, the Enterprise finds itself in a race to capture a living starship that the Romulans really want. Will putting Rapaport on suspension stop the mayor from breathing down Picard’s neck? How big can a banger get? What's this proctology exam going to turn up? It’s an episode where Ben and Adam have creative differences about the show.
14/09/1649m 7s

Captain's Knuck (S3E19)

When Captain Picard needs a backrub, Doctor Crusher prescribes a vacation. Trouble is, the all-inclusive resort Commander Riker recommends appears to be "full service," and the pages in his book aren't spill proof. Can Picard go "chest to chest" with Riker? Is there any job on the Enterprise dangerous enough for red pants? What is "low knuck"? It's the episode where we prescribe to "The Maron Rule."
12/09/1637m 43s

So, This Monica Lewinsky (S3E18)

When Picard is re-re-re-body snatched and replaced by an insane impostor, the crew goes through the same routine of misgivings-leading-to-mutiny that they always do. Meanwhile, the real Captain has to escape from space jail with a blue cadet, an ersatz Nausicaan, and a big fan of Australian opera. Who will wind up doing the corny monologue jokes in this episode? Will Wesley let Picard hit on Beverly? Where we gonna poop? It’s the episode where Picard turns the music up to eleven.
07/09/1645m 58s

Backyard Benihana (S3E17)

When the Klingon exchange program gives the Enterprise a very hostile second in command, it's up to the crew to fall in line or risk being murdered in a turbolift. The new guy's meatloaf looks familiar, so he and Worf take a trip to visit their old stomping grounds to dispute an old family controversy. What's the mortality rate in a Klingon hospital? Is it a good idea to "sprinkle the dog" around when you meet new people? Should the hosts take holidays off? It's the episode that was almost called, "Don't Be a Menace to the Klingon Homeworld while Wearing Your Robe in the Hood"!
05/09/1650m 42s

Android Splash (S3E16)

When Data has a child out of wedlock, the Captain is furious. But when an Admiral from Child Protective Services decides to come take away the bouncing baby android, Picard goes into full blown lawyer mode. What are Riker’s intentions towards Data’s daughter? Can Picard just routinely defy Starfleet? It’s an episode with more Kevin Uxbridge than the Kevin Uxbridge episode.
31/08/1639m 15s

Sinister Turtlenecks (S3E15)

When a butthole in space expels a version of the Enterprise from the past, the crew we've come to know are changed in ways no one can perceive - except for Guinan. In this alternate reality, the Klingons are eating the Federation for breakfast, and Captain Picard has to decide whether or not to send the visiting ship back to its own time. Could Worf be a "secret old"? Shouldn't Yar be due for a promotion by now? Is Ben's dog okay? It's the episode with no logic in it at all!
29/08/1646m 17s

I Hate Manure (S3E14)

When Riker gets accused of murder, Picard fights his first officer’s extradition the only way he knows how: by putting together a few days of holodeck Rashomon. The situation gets dire when radiation starts turning the ship into Swiss cheese. Why doesn’t Data compare Picard’s art style to potato Jesus? Is there any explosion Chief O’Brien can’t pull an away team out of? Is Riker secretly a total madman? It’s an episode in which our grievances with certain other Star Trek podcasts are laid to bed, and then inflamed anew.
24/08/1647m 6s

XXXL Merkin (S3E13)

When Q appears on the bridge naked and powerless, the Enterprise crew begrudgingly grants him asylum as they troubleshoot an Armageddon-sized problem for a planet in trouble. But as Data teaches him what it's like to be human, one of Q's old nemeses plans its revenge while he's the most vulnerable. How does Q decide his bodily proportions? What's the safest restaurant appetizer? Who is "Malibu Q"? It's the episode that's just a total mess. Sad!
22/08/1639m 33s

Wet Jerky 🍆🍆 (S3E12)

When Dr. Crusher is kidnapped while having lunch on a hostile planet, the Enterprise crew finds themselves in the middle of a dispute between outdoor mall architects and cave aficionados. It isn't long before Beverly diagnoses the terrorists with a transporter-related illness, which is unfortunate given how enjoyable transporting sounds to them. Why is everyone afraid of Dr. Crusher? Did Kevin Uxbridge leave a special gift for Geordi? Do quilted breadbox covers come in a child's size small? It's the episode where we receive a very threatening package!
17/08/1639m 58s

The Supersoldiers Have Come Home to Roost (S3E11)

When Rambo Jason Bourne in Space breaks out of a penal colony with a boring name, the Enterprise crew become U.S. Marshals. It’s a hard target search of the star system and the ship that turns up more than the locals had bargained for. When did Farmer Hoggitt grow that molestache? Is Roga Danar the frontman of a rock band called Breadcrumbs of Destruction? Its an episode we recorded in the afterglow of a truly awesome karaoke performance.
15/08/1644m 52s

Cuban Missile Crisis in Space (S3E10)

When a Romulan tries to pull a Hunt for Red October, Picard has to decide whether to take the Federation to the brink of war. When the guy gets on board, it really puts a cramp in Picard and Data's rehearsal schedule. How hard is it for the Enterprise crew to trust these admirals after Conspiracy? If Picard is Jack Kennedy, does that make Tomalak Khrushchev? Can Patrick Stewart maintain his status as Scenery Chewer In Residence? It’s the episode where we finally break into the 90s.
10/08/1647m 35s

Pre-Enlightenment French Nobility-Type Poison Fears (S3E9)

When the Enterprise is dispatched to the scene of a tossed outpost, the crew must moderate a dispute between a group of rowdy professional wrestlers and their elderly grandparents. Captain Picard's diplomatic strategy is to pour brandy and chill, but an alien seductress has more on her mind than meets the eye. Can rank be determined by the depth of a deep V? Is the podcast gaining our hosts membership into "the lifestyle"? It's the episode with 50 phaser blasts!
08/08/1642m 32s

Speaking of Feet (S3E8)

When the Enterprise plays host to a ‘hole’ auction, Riker gets in on the action, leaving Troi to be pursued by Lloyd Braun. It isn’t long before he’s creepily touching her hair. Is a deep vee and a male gaze the only sure way to attract 24th century women? How do you bang in a bunkbed shuttle? Can Riker’s dog be bigged? It’s the episode that turns a previously three dimensional character into a flat one!
03/08/1641m 29s

Secretly Jacked (S3E7)

When the Enterprise drops off a Dustbuster Club on a planet besieged by plot-forwarding radiation, the away team loses track of Geordi and beams up an injured Romulan instead. Stuck in a hole and slowly going blind, Geordi's fate lies with an ally who discloses some troubling opinions about eugenics. How careful do you have to be when a Romulan pulls you over? Can gaberdine wick away moisture before the chafing starts? Is this the start of Riker's drinking problem? It's the episode where Worf is made to disclose his donation status.
01/08/1641m 28s

Slathered in Middler (S3E6)

When the ship gets stuck in some mud, Geordi is the only person onboard ship who gets put to work on saving the crew. Naturally, he makes himself a virtual girlfriend to help out along the way. Will Picard try to steal her like he stole Minuet? Has Chief O’Brien found the best way yet to kiss Picard’s ass? Was Geordi just drunk the entire time? It’s the episode where Adam talks about an uncomfortable date he went on.
27/07/1659m 36s

Ghost Mom (S3E5)

When an away team accident kills a member of the Enterprise crew, it's up to Captain Picard to deliver the bad news to the newest member of the orphan club. Their grief doesn't last for long, because the fallen crew member reappears and promises a new life for the son she left behind. Is there such a thing as a bloodless Klingon ceremony? Why does Wesley (the boy?) have his own room? Is there more than one way to get a Natural Yeager? It's the first episode of the "Slick Back Trilogy"!
25/07/1639m 39s

Hella Conservative (S3E4)

When a cloaked observatory gets hit with a banger, the Enterprise needs to step on the gas to rescue some more gray haired scientists before the Prime Directive gets violated. On their arrival, the Enterprise crew just can’t help but violate it themselves, and violate it over and over. It should come as no surprise that this involves Riker going around the planet in a deep vee. Can Picard get out of this by making up a new religion? Did the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer wig get reused? Does Worf’s least favorite lightning have a great Hollywood agent? It’s the episode that Ben recorded while hopped up on DayQuil.
20/07/1649m 48s

Space Weasel (S3E3)

When the Enterprise discovers the aftermath of an attack on a planetary colony, they become suspicious of the two elderly survivors shacked up in the nicest house on their block. These survivors also seem unusually obsessed with their landscaping, which catches Commander Riker off-guard. But when Counselor Troi gets a bad song stuck in her head, the crew starts to wonder if there's something sinister going on inside their Malibu home. How many scarves is a reputation worth? Is there such thing as a lethal amount of guile? Why won't Captain Picard tell anyone what he's thinking? It's the episode where we play ALL the music.
18/07/1640m 34s

One Terrible Element (S3E2)

When a race of Hefty bags wants to tarp over a planet with 15,000 humans living on it, the Enterprise has to consider taking them on a Kid Rock cruise. The only crewmember immune to the local radiation is Data, so he beams down only to find an obtuse demagogue with a weird voice is running the place, and the guy doesn’t believe that the Hefty corporation even exists. Is Data a secret practitioner of rave hand jive, or does he just have invisible balls to play with? Why is Gosheven sounding so thirsty? Are Lenny and Carl on loan from The Simpsons? It’s the episode in which we award some T-shirts.
13/07/1655m 58s

Thinking About Baseball (S3E1)

When the Enterprise breaks down while conducting a science mission, Wesley (the boy?) is at fault. Unfortunately, he observes the Chaotic Bro code of silence, which forces the dumpy professor in charge of the experiment to take matters into his own hands. What does it mean to get "The Frakes"? Do we or don't we want to be in the pocket of Big Rodd? How many pips does Jame Gumb have? It's the episode where we do ALL the impressions!
11/07/1650m 50s

Terrible, Terrible Clip Show (S2E22)

When Riker gets some DNA in him, it’s not just from another romp on the holodeck. Unfortunately, the STD test comes back positive and it's a race against time to save his life. Dr. Pulaski hatches a plan to make Riker re-watch episodes of the show that would even make Captain Picard shudder. Is Chief O’Brien trying to give Pulaski a heart attack? Is Troi going to be ok when Riker’s most erotic dreams leave her in the lurch? Is the Captain ever going to recover from being bald-burned? It’s our most ill-advised episode yet, and the one that took by far the most work!
06/07/161h 14m

A Tat for Every Tit (S2E21)

When the Enterprise engages in war games, their opponent is the biggest WOPR of them all: Commander Riker. Unfortunately for Captain Picard, Riker's team includes Ensign Crusher (the Boy?), and a threat from an unexpected foe. Who gave Picard a hickey? Is one of Riker's crew giving off Laura Dern vibes? What are the chances of getting a "Natural Yeager"? It's the episode with excellent finger dexterity!
04/07/1639m 50s

Level 69 (S2E20)

When unfrozen caveman Klingons are about to thaw out in a nice suburban neighborhood, Starfleet sends their sexiest emissary to try to talk Picard into a murder-based solution to the problem. Tensions rise when Worf can’t keep his cool around his lab partner, but Troi has some zit popping videos on her iPad that help everyone calm down. Is Data the ship’s best cock-blocker? Is K’Ehleyr going to get picked in The Bachelor? Is Worf a cigar store Indian? It’s the episode in which we try to get CBS to jerk our udders.
29/06/1651m 14s

Covered in a Fish (S2E19)

When the Enterprise goes on Uber-duty for a couple of fish people, Lwaxana Troi drops by for a visit. Then, things somehow get even worse when Captain Picard bails on the show and hides in the holodeck. Is Troi's mom more destructive than Q? Is Pacifica the galaxy's Howard Johnson hotel? Why don't more guest stars get "The Tesh Treatment"? Plus, we announce a t-shirt contest! It's the episode that's an embodiment of an HR violation.
27/06/1634m 30s

Diminished in Ways We Can't Even Imagine (S2E18)

When Dr. Pulaski covers for Worf, he returns the favor by showing her what sex is to him. Meanwhile, the ship rescues some Space Irish from some kind of Space Blight before heading off to find their long lost cousins. How dangerous is a Klingon toilet plunger? Why is the transporter beaming people up with the ground underneath them? What are the downsides of phasering your own clone? It's the episode that forced us to bow to the absurd!
22/06/1640m 11s

USS Dumpy (S2E17)

When the Enterprise answers a distress call from a ship full of Lennies, the crew's instincts are to offer assistance. Unfortunately, the Pakleds pet Geordi a little too hard as he's tending to their problems. Meanwhile, the captain and Wesley (the BOY?) go on a road trip in the Previa so Picard can have a "little procedure." Could Toto have improved this episode? Who are the rank pips really for? Can we do this show in a hot tub? It's an episode that's like a Sci-Fi version of "Of Mice and Men"!
20/06/1651m 28s

Karate Stance Bean Flickin’ (S2E16)

Picard gets super salty when Q kidnaps him in a stolen Previa, but things go from bad to worse when the ship gets frisbeed into the path of the galaxy’s shittiest Rubik’s Cube. Does Guinan have the only locking door on the ship? Why are the Borgs so interested in the Jim Shimoda Memorial Corner? Is the crew even ready to go on star treks? It’s a very special episode of Borg Maury.
15/06/1655m 44s

An Appropriate Mount (S2E15)

When the Enterprise explores a sector full of about to explode planets, the crew decides to put Wesley (the boy?) in charge. But when Data decides to turn the sensors on high, the results interrupt Captain Picard's private "chaps time." Is Worf in a death cult? Where can our listeners send their corrections? Can't Picard do better than a Continental breakfast for his meetings? It's the episode with a very special WiFi password!
13/06/1646m 22s

Klingon Bar Mitzvah (S2E14)

When Riker’s daddy comes aboard, his sexual magnetism finally meets its match. After a few days of bickering, it all comes to a head in an American Gladiator match that gives Code of Honor a run for its money in the racism department. What was Worf’s job interview like? Can the ship's three most socially inept crewmen throw a good party? Will Riker take Picard’s advice on a new way to get off? It’s the episode where Adam opens some cards of his own!
08/06/1642m 3s

Malibu Picard (S2E13)

When the Enterprise finds an IKEA shuttlepod floating in space, they (what else?) bring it aboard for a closer inspection. What they find inside is a very tan, extremely well-rested clone of Captain Picard whose body, unlike the original Picard, does not respond well to stimulants. How will Wesley (the boy?) tell them apart? What's the cost of destroying a Galaxy-class starship? Why didn't Riker season his eggs before serving them? It's the episode where we bring booze to brunch!
06/06/1641m 8s

Pajama Bottom Dumpy (S2E12)

When the crew beams a big pile of ship aboard, they decide to beam down to a planet with a frozen fart-based atmosphere to investigate. The DustBuster club quickly find themselves trapped in a nightmare vacation to Vegas. Is Worf behind the lack of door locks on the Enterprise? Is Picard's love of trashy novels distracting him from mounting a sincere rescue operation? Is playing along with a bad book the only way to escape it? It’s the episode where we declare that we’re here to defend democracy, not necessarily to practice it.
01/06/1651m 2s

Fleet of Dorks (S2E11)

When the Enterprise crosses the neutral zone to touch dongles with another Galaxy-class ship, it soon becomes infected with a computer virus that threatens to kill everyone onboard. But rather than "turn it off, then turn it on," the crew troubleshoots the problem by doing a little light archaeology. Did the USS Yamato get infected by Nagilum? Does Wesley (the boy?) have a direct line to Captain Picard? What is a "Dirty Data"? It's the episode broadcast to you from Shimoda Corner!
30/05/1641m 38s

Wesley's Chick Magnet (S2E10)

When Wesley meets an age-appropriate romantic partner, Picard is put in a foul mood. To make matters worse, the Enterprise’s 5 star Uber rating is at risk. While Worf and Dr. Pulaski have both met their match in a mean old lady, The Boy is going on dates and offering chocolate to his new friend, but she has a secret second ‘look’ that might be a deal breaker. Is Guinan the ship’s best counselor? Did the Sand People from Star Wars do VO work on this episode? Is Salia one of the aliens that left a big pile of Armus on Vagra II? It’s the episode where Wesley learns romantic karate from the masters.
25/05/1640m 19s

Data's Reproductive Rights (S2E9)

When the Enterprise stops off at Starbase 173 for routine maintenance, Captain Picard reacquaints himself with an old flame hoping to JAG him off. But it's courtroom drama instead of bedroom action on the docket when a hotshot commander threatens to take Data apart to learn how he works. Is it possible that Riker has a better poker face than Data? Is busting a chair across a woman's teeth Picard's idea of sex? It's the episode where everyone gets a little "Moody Geordi".
23/05/1643m 42s

2 Chaotic 2 Bro (S2E8)

When Riker takes a temp position on a Klingon ship, it’s ironically the Enterprise that contracts a venereal disease. While the Commander is attempting to arrange an interspecies three-way, the ship develops a rash and uncomfortable discharge. Fortunately, the sequel to Chaotic Bro is on the case. Will Wesley (the boy?) finally try vaping? Did that rust come from some bad decisions made in late-80s San Francisco? What does the Carfax report look like on the IKS Pagh? We might change the veto rule! This is madness!
18/05/1641m 21s

Space Mengele (S2E7)

When the Enterprise encounters a ship full of dead seniors, their immediate concern is the smell. Their investigation leads back to a science facility where experiments in genetics have taken a dangerous turn, creating a race of non GMO-free people. How many cans of soup can a starship hold? Is Star Trek anti-science? Is Chief O'Brien a con artist? It's the episode that has plenty of handrails!
16/05/1638m 42s

A Case of the Spaceys (S2E6)

When Data's grandpa is diagnosed with an incurable illness, he doesn't express much grief, and in return, his grandpa steals his body and makes a play at immortality. It would have been a perfect plan, but the old man was set in his ways, and really doesn't know how to act in a modern, professional starship setting. Will the crew catch on that Data is once again not who he claims to be? Will Data's bad behavior get him locked up in Rura Penthe? Can he pass a Voight-Kampff test? It's the episode where the Star Trek trading cards prove that they're worth what you pay for them.
11/05/1642m 19s

Dick Valet (S2E5)

When the Enterprise has to transport Ginger Jesus to a peace negotiation between some ersatz Klingons, his sexual super-magnetism is a distraction for some of the crew. Their 5-star Uber rating is seemingly in the bag until his cadre of helpers is killed on an away mission, forcing the diplomat to talk only with his hands. Are these the worst alien effects we've seen? What's a job interview like for a bathroom attendant? Do they still have Pier 1 in the future? It's the episode where we return to Anybody Canyon!
09/05/1641m 7s

No Joke Is Getting Out Alive (S2E4)

When the world's shittiest Han Solo breaks down within hailing range of the Enterprise, the women of the ship are extremely hospitable to him. Meanwhile, Data is desperately trying to learn the secrets of comedy by playing the holodeck on fast forward. Then a bunch of squabbling aliens with extremely retrograde beliefs surrounding procreation and marriage beam aboard and somehow make Data's storyline seem fun by comparison. Is Worf in charge of keeping Riker's harem safe? Is Terri Hatcher playing her character from Desperate Housewives? Is a cigar just a cigar? It's the episode that dissects the frog, and we might not be equal to the challenge.
04/05/1633m 50s

A Long Walk for a Dick Joke (S2E3)

When Data and Geordi get some down-time, they use it like no one else would: playing Sherlock Holmes on the Holodeck. But when Geordi sets the computer's difficulty settings to "All-Madden," Moriarty begins dropping bangers all over the ship, and has become an adversary more powerful than either of them expected. What is a warrior's hat? Is Dr. Pulaski a functional syntheholic? What does it sound like when Data takes a dump? It's the episode recorded in karate stance!
02/05/1632m 7s

The Inbred Q (S2E2)

When the Enterprise finds a hole in space, nobody is more excited to explore it than Commander Riker, but after it envelops the ship, he (and everyone else) learns a powerful lesson about consent. Once inside, they're faced with an adversary acting like a six-year-old holding a magnifying glass over an ant colony. Will Captain Picard finally get his opportunity to go down with the ship? Will Ensign Haskell get another line of dialogue? Is Worf's holodeck routine even raunchier than the First Officer's? It's the episode where almost half of the jokes die (which is within acceptable limits)!
27/04/1635m 57s

Worf Don't Preach (S2E1)

When Counselor Troi becomes unexpectedly pregnant, the Enterprise crew has a ton of questions: "When did this happen? "Who's the father?" and "How quickly can we abort it?" Troi makes it clear she's keeping it, but there's no time for a baby shower because this baby grows so fast that it's born in only a few days. After another few days, it's tall enough to go on the rides at Disneyland! How big will this kid get? Where is Riker's "leaning wall" when he needs it? Why does Ben have a restraining order from the Olson twins? It's our season 2 premiere!
25/04/1639m 35s

Five Dollar Carnival Guitar (S1E26)

When Data and Worf beam some popsicles aboard the Enterprise, the doctor thaws them out, which treats the whole ship to an unfrozen caveman legal drama. And that's not to mention all the starbases and outposts that are being disappeared, presumably by Romulans, along the edge of the Neutral Zone. Picard quickly gets to the end of his rope when one of his primeval passengers tries to get involved in galactic politics. Will Data and his new friend pick up any "pit woofies"? Will Troi manage her day well enough to be on the bridge for contact with hostile aliens? Will Worf ever learn to live in a world with locked doors? It's the last episode of the worst season of our favorite show, and we send it off in style!
20/04/1650m 6s

Effectively Gross (S1E25)

When Captain Picard's old friend sends him a "U up?" message in the middle of the night, it's enough to send the Enterprise back to Earth to investigate evidence of a Federation conspiracy. There, the crew is reunited with some familiar faces: Inspector General Dexter Remmick and Admiral Gregory "Roundhouse" Quinn. Does Dytallix B cause hair loss? Is Picard impervious to being "Picosby-ed"? Who keeps putting all these glass coffee tables on board starships? It's a super-sized podcast where we make the case for writing future Star Trek episodes!
18/04/1652m 14s

The Riker Collection (S1E24)

When Captain Picard's fencing match gets cut short by a bad case of deja vu, the Enterprise crew is forced to grapple with his romantic regrets, not to mention a temporal catastrophe that threatens the entire quadrant. Their investigation leads to a fringey German scientist, who married Picard's ex-girlfriend. Will Beverly's deep jealousy impact her obligation to keep the scientist alive? Is Data already old enough to need a reacher-grabber? Will the captain finally have a sexual encounter with a consenting adult? It's the episode where we discover that we'd be great future accordion players!
13/04/1640m 13s

Metamucil and Printer Ink (S1E23)

When Counselor Troi's driver puts their shuttlecraft into a ditch on planet Vagra II, it's up to the Enterprise to play the part of AAA. It's just too bad that Armus is there, blocking their way and being a real jerk about it. Did Worf hedge his bet on Tasha Yar? Why are business trip conferences still a thing in the future? Did Leland T. Lynch "Argyle" himself off the show? It's the episode where we turn tragedy into comedy!
11/04/1637m 0s

Interplanetary Rubberband Men (S1E22)

When NPR turns us down for a Sunday slot, we turn our attention to the most egregious episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation that Nancy Reagan ever wrote. The Enterprise once again is playing host to squabbling aliens, but this time the shifty rednecks come with a twist: they're hooked on drugs. Bad drugs. Will the glittery Aryans get high on their own supply? Can Tasha Yar persuade Wesley (The Boy?) to keep on the straight and narrow? What would the Prime Directive have to say about the CIA supplying crack to the inner cities? It's the episode with one of the most abstract Drunk Shimodas yet!
06/04/1632m 43s

The Clearasil of Freedom (S1E21)

When the Enterprise is sent to look for the missing USS Drake, Commander Riker is stoked to meet up with an old friend of his from Degrassi High. Unfortunately, when an away team searches for clues on a nearby planet, they discover that ship and crew were killed not by boring rap music, but by a sophisticated weapons system built out of sex toys. How does Captain Picard know parkour? Why is Vincent Schiavelli so great in everything he's in? Will Geordi be happy to know that Dr. Crusher knows so much about roots? This is one episode that's not expendable!
04/04/1632m 30s

A Warrior Is Coming (S1E20)

When the Enterprise discovers a busted up freighter in the Neutral Zone, they find the only surviving passengers are some Klingons who are far from neutral. These survivors follow the well known convention that any group of three Klingons have to have names that start with K, which is why Worf doesn't quite fit in with them. Worf's inner struggle becomes outer struggle as the survivors commit party foul after party foul all over the ship. What parts of the Klingon uniform are secretly weapon components? Why does Worf keep yelling at the ceiling when Klingons die? Where's Troi? And what should the crew do with all these bodies? It's the first episode to really test whether we can make good pod about good show.
30/03/1640m 16s

Chaotic Bro (S1E19)

When Wesley Crusher (the boy?) begins his Starfleet entrance exams, he's got two things on his mind: overcoming his greatest fear, and overcoming a terrible Pee-wee Herman-style haircut. Meanwhile, on the Enterprise, Admiral Quinn and Lieutenant Commander Remmick are investigating a possible conspiracy, and pissing off the crew in the process. Is "The Riker Maneuver" mostly about testicular health? What is the punishment for Grand Theft Shuttlecraft? And just what the hell is a sher-RAHHHHD? It's our final episode before NPR syndication!
28/03/1635m 56s

The Takeover (S1E18)

Terraforming hasn't had this big a PR problem since the Genesis Project! The Enterprise crew arrives at Valera III for a science lecture, but wind up mounting an investigation into murder most foul, with the chief suspect being a brilliant scientist (whose resemblance to a Bond villain is more than skin deep). The shocking truth is revealed when Geordi and Data look down a deep hole without Riker there to show them the ropes. When the indigenous life form of Velara III gets to set trippin' with the ship, it inspires your micro-brained hosts to air out their frustrations about Internet commenters mentioning other Star Trek podcasts. It's the episode where Adam and Ben start a rap feud with another show!
23/03/1638m 46s

Horn of Plenty (S1E17)

The Enterprise crew is excited to meet the mythical Aldeans until they propose a classic "children for information" exchange, but when Commander Riker balks at the deal they take some kids anyway. This is a real problem for Captain Picard, because Wesley (the boy?) is among their victims. Why'd the Aldeans take only the white kids? How long can Picard go without Wesley? Didn't we already fix the ozone layer? It's the episode where there's no calculus allowed!
21/03/1641m 44s

Soft Foods and Laxatives (S1E16)

Admiral Mark Jameson has one last job before he gets out of the Federation for good: negotiate the rescue of some hostages from his arch enemy. Jameson's just got one problem: he's weighed down by tons of silly putty that's been troweled onto his face. Fortunately, an alien de-aging drug has him getting younger (and sweatier) by the minute. Will the despotic Karnas believe that Jameson is who he claims to be? Can Picard and the crew ever trust Starfleet if their top brass is made of melting strawberry yogurt? And what's it like to go a little too hard with pills at a hipster dance party? We answer these questions, plus Adam tells a shameful story about the time he invested in Star Trek trading cards.
16/03/1643m 51s

Going Number Three (S1E15)

When the Enterprise pulls into a starbase for some maintenance, the Bynars are there to help with some Holodeck upgrades - which Commander Riker is all too keen to experience first hand. Unfortunately, Captain Picard crashes his party, and it turns out three is too many for Riker's 'bone. Meanwhile, the Bynars have taken the ship on a test drive back to their homeworld, with Picard and Riker becoming accidental stowaways. Will we ever know what's in the weapon's room? Why isn't it harder to set the self-destruct sequence on a starship? And why can't Starbase 74 keep their ships from being stolen? It's the episode where we unequivocally define "moose knuckle," once and for all!
14/03/1641m 30s

This Isn't A Plot, This Is A Holodeck Program! (S1E14)

Riker never had it so good when he and the away team arrive on Angel One, a planet of statuesque babes and feeble mini-men who could never fight in his weight class. But trouble is brewing as a handful of Federation citizens have shacked up with the local gals, putting Picard in a tough position as far as the Prime Directive is concerned. Speaking of positions, Riker is going through his repertoire with Sarah Connor, the smoldering demagogue that runs the whole planet. Will Wesley (the boy) get in trouble for beaning Picard with a snowball? Will Worf's sneezes break the ship? Can Picard pry Riker away from the planet-sized sexual conquest of all sexual conquests? It's the episode where we argue about Federation immigration policy!
09/03/1632m 36s

The Legend of Argyle (S1E13)

When the away team beams down to the charred ruins of a desolate planet, they find body parts strewn everywhere that end up belonging to Data's twin brother, Lore. After assembling him they find out that like all pairs of twins, one is good and one is evil. But after giving Lore the full, unsupervised run of his ship, Picard is most concerned with Data's loyalty. The crew needs to figure out whose side he's on fast, because there's a glass pinecone that is bent on destroying the ship. Will Tasha Yar sleep with Lore, too? Will killing a tree save them? It's the episode where we finally inherit the "Shut up, Wesley!" drop (and relay a story we heard about our favorite actor, Biff Yeager)!
07/03/1631m 19s

The Ultimate Redshirt (S1E12)

When Captain Picard has a big linguistics test to study for, he decides to procrastinate in the holodeck instead. Disappointing everyone, he chooses a program about a 1940's-era private detective, so Data, Dr. Crusher, and a random crew member join him. Turns out, there's a malfunction and people in the holodeck aren't shooting blanks anymore, which would be a real problem if Picard had been able to get Beverly up on his desk like he wanted to. Will the Enterprise ever fix the door problem? What does holodeck gum even taste like? It's the episode where we give everyone a little dusting of Drunk Shimoda.
02/03/1630m 56s

The Bayless Connection (S1E11)

When Wyatt (the guy from the music video for "Take On Me") beams aboard the Enterprise to marry Counselor Troi, Commander Riker realizes that he won't "be gone in a day," and it really puts him in a foul mood. It doesn't help that Troi's mother is getting into people's heads, and the combination of Wyatt's creepy Glamour Shots-style drawings and the arrival of an alien ship mean that the wedding plans are off the rails in a hurry. What is "80's hot" anyway? Does big hair qualify as formal attire? Can Troi's mom see inside Riker's head, and does she want to? It's the most 80's episode yet, and we're forced to review it!
29/02/1635m 45s

Who’s The Big Dog Now? (S1E10)

When Q returns to amuse himself with the Enterprise crew, all hell breaks loose when he gives Riker his powers. Why doesn't Riker immediately return to Rubicun III to make himself god of the Edo? Why does Geordi have to be so damn creepy? What is Worf's idea of sex, anyway? And finally, we do something with our episode vetoes.
24/02/1630m 17s

You’re Welcome, Ladies (S1E9)

When Captain Picard abandons a perfectly good ship full of Pelican cases, the Ferengi are nice enough to return it to him. Meanwhile, he's reminded of an old crime (which has nothing to do with Wesley), and gets a massive headache in the process. Finally, we introduce the "Picosby," and nothing is ever the same. Be sure to listen all the way to the end for a brand new listener-submitted Drunk Shimoda song!
22/02/1630m 42s

Rockin' Knuck (S1E8)

When the crew takes shore leave on a planet inhabited entirely by late night Cinemax adult movie stars, it appears to be a bouncy, floppy paradise for the away team. Too bad Wesley (the boy?) learns the hard way about how much these people care about landscaping. It's an episode that leaves almost nothing to the imagination!
17/02/1635m 17s

Fish vs. Dog (S1E7)

When Worf gets shocked working on an electrical panel, he learns a hard lesson about what happens when you try to do a union guy's job. Meanwhile, a bunch of Cantina Aliens are exploiting the "no door locks" policy on the Enterprise. Later, Data takes up smoking a pipe, and Picard demonstrates the advantages of backing up his information into the cloud. Endings don't get more abrupt, especially for Engineer Singh.
15/02/1627m 11s

Generally Human (S1E6)

When the Enterprise crew throws the keys to the ship to The Traveler, he drives it farther out than its ever been before. That is not cool to Captain Picard, who wants to go home immediately. That bit of engineering would be a whole lot easier for The Traveler if he didn't also have lobster-hands. Finally, Ben makes an embarrassing admission about his relationship to Wesley that could change our view of him forever. It's the episode where we finally realize our potential as the two Beethovens of podcasting!
10/02/1634m 38s

The A-Team of Away Teams (S1E5)

The Ferengi do an e-brake slide into the series (and into our hearts) after the show finally adds to the alien facial putty budget. Meanwhile Riker, having just read The Art of War, will not shut up about it. And when he grabs some alone time on the planet's surface, it becomes clear that the planet is attracted to all sources of power...even his. It's an episode where we've finally achieved "podcast mastery"!
08/02/1625m 22s

Gagh.biz (S1E4)

Tasha Yar inadvertently breaks up a happy marriage, then gets into a UFC-style fight to the death with "the other woman." If that story isn't intriguing enough, it's also terribly racist! Also, why is everyone okay with kidnapping? Where is Worf? Finally, we discuss names for a website we don't need or want.
05/02/1638m 24s

Ep 2: Drunk Shimoda (S1E3)

The Enterprise crew gets "space drunk" while young Wesley Crusher's science experiment traps him and Assistant Chief Engineer Shimoda inside Engineering. Will the crew stop boning each other long enough to save the ship? Is the "scarf economy" real? Why hasn't this show been cancelled yet? All these topics, and more, on The Greatest Generation.
01/02/1634m 24s

I Don’t Feel Comfortable With Children (S1E1&2)

Our premier episode as we set out on our journey to watch every episode of Star Trek The Next Generation.
25/01/1628m 21s
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Heart UK