Top Flight Time Machine

Family Zoom quizzes, documentaries, framing a newspaper cutting, Hoddle & Waddle’s flop follow-up, and private detectives.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Roy holds a successful snowbound Sunday training session, but trouble is brewing at home. And where is Ernie Gosden in 2019?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

In his new 80's movie podcast Sam Delaney joins his cousin Bruce to look back at the only Bond movie to use a plotline stolen from Minder, an elderly Roger Moore having it off with Grace Jones, a mad iceberg submarine and Q absuing his position as a state funded scientist to cop a look at lady's boobs. This pod comes out every week on a Thursday - if you like what you hear please subscribe.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Court self-defending, Don Arden, cat prosecco, crow tactics and supplementing an educational income.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Nat Gosden’s awful kids get in the dressing room and start mouthing off. Roy tries to arrange a child-swap, and sets up a Sunday session across the road…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The return of the Premier League, trending on Twitter, and lifting Babs Windsor above your head.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Unwanted park attention, the shady influence of Big Crow, a spooky mystery, and the Dominic Cummings conundrum solved.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Nat Gosden makes his Rovers debut, the nightmare of your ROTR issue not arriving in time, and Sunderland’s gated compounds.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Pet treats, mug relationships, family crests, party pants catastrophe, nut chat, and a sad desert island fantasy.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

True dog love, Minder, Tyson, Strummer on swimming, a Scouse night out and Wednesday night’s plans.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A much-needed Earth Tournament update, a Biscoff development, a sunflower crime, and another TFTM Man of Honour.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Roy visits a kiddy hospital on Christmas Day, hits the release catch, and makes a stunning signing for Rovers...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Over-caffeining, meeting your heroes, garage boxing, more crow stuff, and an unusual house guest.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Back to the vets, cat valium, Pancho’s retail needs, teenage bush discovery, and some digging chat.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Roy has a post-match showdown and Roy Jr turns into an apple dog witch. Meanwhile, is China controlling our wind?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The evil that crows do, a Nelson update, dog-shaving, shopping for Pancho and the truth about Shilton.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Tubby youth abuse, a Nelson tail update, puppy prep, and an 80s TV monster.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Geoff Giles continues to torment Roy, who is more concerned with circumcision and presenting his plans for the nation to Mrs Thatcher. Meanwhile, the Queen shuts down Sky Sports…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Camper vans, Lamparding at festivals, private podding for Jay Kay, our posthumous episode plans, and Prince.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Our thoughts on the Egyptians and Japan, how TFTM will end, fishcakes revisited, and homemade crisps.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Racey has a sausage-fuelled nightmare – but can salvation arrive in the form of Lorraine Chase?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A tail update, toastie-maker disposal, a worm win, and two different mentions of dinosaurs.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Paranoia, loss adjustment, celebrity rigs, our dream Prime Minister, and cat tail horror.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Mental health top-ups, the Nuttall Test, the worst sporting figures, and potato formats.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sheffield Wednesday, Spud-U-Like and some other stuff…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We meet Victor Boskovic, discuss curly cables and Ben Galloway’s dreamland. Meanwhile, Roy pins his hopes on a trembling teenage keeper…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Addictive behaviour, a Euro 92 cuckolding update, astronomy, and Len’s Q&A. (Apologies for Sam’s robot voice for the first 12 mins of this)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Chippy tea deliveries, some incredible Earth Tournament updates, and Sam’s sadness after getting the snacks in 28 years ago.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

As his goalie has a breakdown, Roy fends off a tirade of fan abuse. Back at home, we see the Race family's space-age telly as concerns grow for Roy Jr’s welfare.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Shopping, slippers, Sir John Asos, Baileys, an Earth Tournament update, some lies and weirdness, and roof tasering.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Baking bread, a near-triggering, rugby horror, water cannons, swords and guess what’s back…?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Charlie Carter has a mare, Paco Diaz gives it some dis ‘n’ dat, and Roy tries to salvage glory from disaster and Cretan revenge.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

An ice cube, Canada, footballer initiation retaliations, and more of your weirdest sightings.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Mainly a round-up of the weirdest things you’ve seen. Some great, some average, some awful.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How housework is filling the void, the strangest things we’ve ever seen, our plans to breed and flog tiger cubs, and women’s hairstyles.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Our two year isolation prep, a live cuppa delivery, a Raab attack, the best news in months, and the magic of Tiger King.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A farewell lunch gets out of hand, a there’s generic fans protest, Roy rips off his rivals, and Rovers’ season goes from bad to worse…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Some begging, ghost neighbours, tigers, virus rumours and Lamparding the lockdown.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Home schooling, pandemic exercising, a doctor’s advice, panic buying, World Cup movies and our next odyssey is revealed…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We’ve made a viral video which prompted the government to give everyone free cash – how will this affect ResultBot’s robot money pipe?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Roy drops a transfer bombshell, the Portdean fans run wild at Melboro, we meet Penny Race and Roy gets his chopper out…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Just what happened when Sam took a bag of glass shards home? Plus a bit of John Cosmos and some pharmacist news…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Here's all seven episodes of the original Keane Odyssey, which looked at Roy's 'The Second Half' book, joined together into one massive 232-minute super episode. YAFFLE!   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Our finest Talksport moment, plus Sam goes up the storage and gets sucked into panic-buying. Tomorrow… the broken glass story…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How Dad’s Army can help us through the crisis, Sir John Corona, anonymous Lampards, playground virus info, and knocking up some ventilators…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Isolation, Jackie Chan’s lock-up, some content recommendations, and a load of Joe Pasquales.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Roy waxes lyrical about the olive kebab, there’s some bungling and a rotten ref, and Roy and Blackie’s lock-in tactics are revealed…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Our new Roy of the Rovers 1980s deep dive gets underway. Two lads go from car park shovelling to first team starts, while another pair have an on-pitch clash…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We reach the end of the Odyssey with the drama of Saipan, Roy looking forward to a bright future, and a man trapped in the Japanese sky forever…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Instagram purchasing addiction, our Corona profiteering plans, and inventive toilet roll alternatives.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Some old snooker music, being bionic, some Coronavirus news, more teapots, Jack Hargreaves, and new Space Robbers.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Harry’s Challenge, a Bryan Adams show in the middle of the night, cheese sandwiches, dealing with drinking while you’re an alcoholic, & dressing up as a tiger.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A bit of John Cosmos, sexy telly, the Bristow story, a news jotter and more  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How to act tough in a chippy, Biscoff love and Eric Bristow gets A Question of Sport wrong.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Plans for our conference (Coronageddon permitting), speed-mentoring, hand gel panic-buying, bridging snack woes and more…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Roy has his own thing (not like those robot babies), gives Bosnich a blast, gets his revenge on Haaland, and we learn more about the mouth sandwich…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Our Radio 4 takeover plans, a trip to a Noel Coward play, hotel reviews, and Tyson Fury.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sam looks forward to a birthday party and remembers upsetting Amanda Holden. We also get some cashpoint safety tips. (Apologies for the sound issues)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Roy has a 10-day city break for the 1999 Champions League Final, shares a hotel room with Denis Irwin, and avoids a Barcelona blinding.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A look about outdoors, bins, Sir John God’s wrath, riddles, and war animals.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sam’s first OB, Tears For Fears, some Lamparding, prosthetics, and the end of civilisation.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Cheese, Delaney letters to West Ham, part two of Space Robbers, some more cosmos stuff, and an Apple naming crisis…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Tactics, predictions, and our recent brush with the upper classes - almost 100% football content.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Roy becomes a bad harlequin, scorns the city centre, and tries to stay normal.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Tom & Jerry, Stubby the war dog, more Blue Peter revelations and a first-hand encounter with Wojtek.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Freelancing versus the foundry, a showbiz party, a fat black cat update and a local busybody website.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sam’s hygienist tries to entice him, we celebrate John Noakes, hear more from the cosmos and start a choose-your-own-adventure…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Baby Solskjaer is almost squeezed into oblivion, Sir John Jazz invents jazz, Roy gets a windowless gym, and there's an insight into the Cockney community…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Backstage at our latest live show, a mailbag delve, the cosmos, some riddles, and Scotland’s best bear.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Backstage at our live show, we talk about our pre-show rituals, and hear about The God Diet and self-hating Londoners.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A feline encounter goes weird, why we should all have more tea, and some football predictions...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A cockney turns up at Old Trafford, Roy has a fight in a bar, does his cruciate, gets obsessed with Neighbours again, and has a one-man Christmas party  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Some listener Lamparding, football haters, crabbing horror, rig servicing, non-books, and a struggle with a riddle.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sticking with dull books, studio construction, and dubious street transactions…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A shorter than usual episode with predictions, a non-dead man, and Sam’s musings on his week  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Roy gets a bit sniffy about Cantona, Fergie makes some prank calls, we take a trip to Paperboy Heaven and Jason McAteer buys some dolls…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ongoing personal highs and lows, some fine riddle work and a bit of actual football chat…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Court reporting, Keane v Carragher, influencing and more…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Cristiano Ronaldo’s life hacks, murder telly, cucumbers, and just what will Sam do on the telly for money?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Frank Lampard meets a van-driving enchanted football, we plan a podcast academy, Sam gives a talk at a posh school, plus the Poznan babies. Not much Roy in this one, sorry...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Local deaths and local horses, riddles, booze hiding, a squirrel in a school, and butcher bullying.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A warning from nature, the bony hand of VAR, the Beatles launch a start-up, and Cass gets in touch with his roots…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sam brings back riddles, there’s some 2020 predictions, and we expose you to our Royal opinions.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The truth about Roy’s lawyer, the pros and cons of wearing studs, more ticket-distribution agony, and the introduction of church merch…    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Andy’s solo Christmas Day, the Delaneys’ Boxing Day party, sawdust lessons and will there be telly redemption for Sam?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We’re back! The viewfinder, Bruce Forsyth, the SAS, a murder, and a feminism update.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Roy gets hooked on Tetris, goes watch-shopping with Lee Sharpe and is sniffed out by Professor Yaffle at USA 94…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Here's our look back at the best of the year - widows, naps, bargains and more...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Jack Walker’s beeping, fizzing fax machine fails to do its job and Kenny Dalglish pursues Roy to Cyprus in an attempt to sue him…    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We talk about the new Star Wars film and some other stuff.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The decade-defining football match, a rare shout-out, a secret about Lineker’s house, and a look back at the prediction king’s 2019 efforts.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A trip to Jersey, a shallow dive into Bergerac, Sam’s Father’s Day meltdown, and Roy is appalled by his team mates’ homes…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Fraternal rivalry, our countryside podcast retreat, an armed police mix-up, and some film recommendations.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sunderland duck disappointment, a restaurant fight, Christmas calypso, and a Yuletide star’s festive farewell.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

An election debrief, night-time toilet trips, and almost killing someone by mistake…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We get sidetracked with George Lucas, Sam has a run-in with Rio Ferdinand’s alien advisors, and lots of stuff about hiding from people See you all UPTOWN!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Boris Johnson’s phone-nicking antics, a bit of mailbag and some more Krampus stuff…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Double-visiting the services, taking the kids to ‘divorce court’, the weekend’s speedball goal and Santa’s nemesis…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We debate the merit of public school kids, Sam goes to a celeb birthday party and has a look at Anthea Turner’s fiancé’s hair. Also, predictions.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Roy falls foul of Mr Ticket, embraces classic disco, gets familiar with the Forest pitch, power-plays Jack Charlton and sows the seeds of the McCarthy feud…    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

More medical chat, a bit of a mailbag delve, a Timbrell tribute act and a bit of #AskSting…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We reveal our current ailments, discuss doctor punishment, explore the permasquint, and investigate alleged EPL wrongdoing…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The Archbishop of Canterbury’s rig, Simon Cowell’s toilet paper, and our search for the EPL’s most beautiful boss…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Clough gives Roy his first set of wheels then punches him in the face, but Roy makes up for it with a great night out in Sidetrax in Cork. Plus some stuff about Pinocchio and the Queen’s data systems needs…    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Why Dolly Parton is better than Ken Loach, Sting’s sex and bargains advice, a racist spider, and some more ghost stuff.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The differences between relationships in Milton Keynes and Barcelona, inviting Martin Lewis for dinner, and the best ever football formation  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Exotic hipster football, reviews of a couple of new films, a book giveaway and some football predicting…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Roy displays contempt for his new teammates and is forced to drink milk before a road trip with Brian Clough. Also, we hear from Graeme Souness and George Weah…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Recorded live backstage in Cardiff, we reflect on the Prince Andrew interview and, erm, Radiohead...   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Reflections of our recent live shows, including the kind of people we don’t want to see at them. Plus more Pellegrini angst, and some thoughts about Barry Grant…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Unemployed Roy sinks into a ‘half life’ and becomes obsessed with Neighbours before getting a job eating chocolate, George Weah backs a demolition start-up, and Nottingham Forest come calling…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

An on-the-road mid-tour episode from Manchester, where we get mobbed by a pair of crazed fans...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Tentative plans to take a contract killer on tour, Rupert Murdoch’s panic over Clive Allen’s hair loss, and are you in the 3% or the 97%?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Roy’s origin story begins with Basil Fawlty, a record-breaking breakfast, some mucky books and a love affair with a daytime soap… (nine months old if you're IFS #SubscribeOrPerish)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A mailbag delve including some post-Elton reading, dream nonsense, Pancho’s footballing skills, and a mighty TTFN…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A broken knife update, plans for the TFTM film and video game, along with stuff about The Wall and the football…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Pretty much just that - soldering and a wild tortoise.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This is it - the end. Kev settles his scores with the Cockney Mafia and looks back at a life well and truly lived. Thank you, Electric Mouse.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Elton John’s many email addresses, a pre-wedding Mexican clap doctor, Sam’s family justice, and van or caravan?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Shark tips from Sam’s mum, a look back at The Wall, how to do non-sports on radio, and some other stuff…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We delve into the ghost book again, predict a bit of football, and learn more about Michael Hutchence…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A bit more fruit chat, Debarge, Snoozing Sam, and Kev heads towards the Toon exit (via the kitchen of a London restaurant)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sam gets some stuff off his chest, plus emails about intimate injuries, an embarrassing reminder and secret teacher games.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A look back at the weekend’s football… but to be honest, it’s mostly about Danny Dyer’s BBC1 gameshow ‘The Wall’.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Powerday, frozen raspberries, Canning Town, superglue protests, the hardest Beatle, unsuitable films for kids, overbuying pasta, and a little bit of football.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We reveal our fruit Champions Leagues, Kev is forced to buy a player he can’t find on Google and Mike Ashley downs a pint in 12 seconds.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The best use of a Lego hand, a local hardman goes too far, neighbour nicknames, a dog-procuring liar, and the half-term school bunny…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sir John Asda, Sam’s weak spot revealed to Millwall, Desert Island Discs rated, and some more ghost stuff…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We discuss baths, moan about our newsletter, dismiss Heston Blumenthal, and argue about Michael Hutchence. (Sign up for our newsletter at https://tftimemachine.com)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Unplanned weekends, spying on Lineker, Coleen v Rebekah, our newsletter, and we delve into the ultimate ghost book.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Thierry Henry’s vanishing coat hanger, Kev cups Shearer in his hands and gets laughed at by the Germans, and Mike Ashley does some ratings.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sam’s second fact, some poetry, some dodgy grass fire activity, some school banter and some other stuff. Includes sexual content.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Curious Nelson Piquet, smashing killer fungi, Janet Jackson, and more.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How to modify and maximise your bed rig set-up, plus a dad/cat/dog/snake story, Sardinian chaos, and a bit of football chat.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kev’s Newcastle comeback falls foul of the Cockney Mafia as he tries to sign some of the game’s top stars. Plus night time phone calls and online player bids.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Another mailbag delve episode - not much else to add really.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sam saves a pizzeria, leprechauns, Frank Lampard’s fair play response, and 136,000 eggs.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We reveal our Wu names, admonish certain UK cities, look back AND forward to nuclear armageddon, and predict a few football matches.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kev encounters Tony Jiminez – includes internet versus microfiche, the Amazon rain forest and two Mike Ashleys?   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Things grind to a halt at Manchester City as Kev analyses Joey Barton. Then it’s a night drive to London for a meeting with Mike Ashley. Also, napping.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Labour #onthecoins, Baby ResultsBot, a burning man, the best tweet ever, and a dramatic way to settle a debt among friends.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sam gets all excited after a West Ham win, we hail Sky Sports’ football punditry, and experience differing curry fortunes.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Our plans for the Queen’s death, how to entertain the ponciest authors in Britain, and a bit of football stuff.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Shelley, Marc Bolan, Gary Lineker, Dale Winton, a roof dad and more from Yanni’s bar…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

David Cameron’s return to public life, James Martin’s fireman meltdown, and more from Yanni’s bar ‘Memories’ on the island of Kos…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Some cabbie acting, predictions, a film quiz, napping, a demon-resetting chat with the otters and a frog wedding.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kev brings in miserable Nicolas Anelka (bemusing Robbie Fowler into the bargain), unleashes Joey Barton on to an unsuspecting world, and gives Richard Dunne his last last last chance.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The final of our cosy backstage chats from our live tour in which we talk about alcoholism and a top gangster’s bodily fluids…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Another backstage episode, with more tales from our hugely successful live tour...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A mini-episode we recorded before our Glasgow show this evening - let us regale you with tales of life on the road.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Deep vein thrombosis, speeding tickets, Stuart Pearce’s final match, celebrity ant-related gossip, and should Sam and Andy be running the country?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Activities, balcony sleeping, a middle-aged stand-off, post office dreams, and some football chat…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

More tales from the Delaneys’ all-inclusive compound, including all-day drinking with Cas and Sam losing the plot with a French Liverpool fan.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Reports from France and Cyprus, including an unwelcome visitor to the pool, some supermarket molestation and some cat chat…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kev tries to rid Maine Road of its booze culture. Plus Liam Gallagher, urine, and being drunk when grandma calls round.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Phil Brown scolds his players on the pitch, Man City get super rich, we have a naked night in with Jurgen Klopp, there’s insanity at the Toon, and Fergie gets right inside Rafa’s heid…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A look back at the England v Morocco final, ResultsBot’s downward slide goes on, widows, Alim Ozturk’s Turkish life, and war in the Delaney family WhatsApp group…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Andy reports some tragic news from Cyprus, the prediction mind games increase, and we hear possibly the ultimate TTFN story…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kev moans about being England boss, Ron Atkinson’s TV-watching snack, Sam’s West Ham ticket office nightmare and surprising trip to Moscow…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A report from our secret compound, a gift for an atrocious criminal, a hot dog challenge, some ratings and some Aquafresh facts…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The ‘so what’ penalty, intense German predicting camps, and an encounter with the Coin Mistress during a seaside jaunt…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We finally reveal the identity of Britain’s Best Widow while Sam recounts the late 90’s pursuit of a legendary DJ…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kev struggles with England as the Pigfaces of Fleet Street work their evil magic on him, in spite of a warning from Monte Fresco. And was Our Price a socialist utopia?   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A mailbag delve with some Senor Dis ‘N’ Dat, a lion liar and a local vigilante. Plus a Timbrell update and Joey Barton’s dad.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Why Gary Lineker equals safety, the new wave of banter, some ratings, a Leniverse update, and we reveal Britain’s Best Widow...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A look ahead at the new season, and also some stuff about Grange Hill deaths and the estate of Sir John Triffid.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Michael Jackson visits Fulham before Kev leaves for England and an ageism crisis. Also, ghost minorities…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A mailbag delve, a trip to the Costa Brava with Rocky and Ricky, the introduction of our new game ‘Ratings’, and the spectacular departure of Scratchcard John.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Len’s alter-egos, fast cars, diffusing football violence, a Budapest rig, and Paul Hollywood…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Bits of all sorts - coins, rigs, dis, dat, Capes, badgers, work disciplinary, and a thieving stray man. Join our prediction league on the Soccer Saturday Super Six app with code 1PY8SY  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kev moves to Fulham but we focus mainly on Mohamed Al-Fayed selling lions in Harrods and the magnificence of Ray Wilkins.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sam brings us tales of coining and car booting on the Isle of Wight, and we discuss Geoff Capes' budgie-breeding motivations...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

KK leaves Tyneside and goes on holiday as the nation mourns. Plus regeneration chat, royal connections and new front door research tips…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The strongest man of all time addresses members of the World Economic Forum. Plus widows’ rigs, crematorium bike lessons and gang rejection.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Alan Pardew, celebrity coins, Steve Bruce and a bit of Sid James. Oh, and an exclusive interview with Sam’s son Len.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We discuss the new Cats and Top Gun film trailers.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kev’s Newcastle exit looms into view, Sir John Hall lets the lads use his house while he’s in Spain and there’s a… VIP Stevie Wonder experience…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A mailbag delve with some fresh Senor Dis ‘n Dat, a toothpaste deep dive, a bit of ‘touchy touchy’ and our plans for the Potato Awards.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Incredible sport, the refuelling habits of druids, England’s Earth Tournament final opponents are revealed, and there’s a magnificent Lewis Collins story…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

John Pigface rings Broadmoor, we learn more about Big Galaxy’s hit TV show ‘Warrior’, there’s some John Timbrell info, and even some football talk…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

KK’s disguise-aided pursuit of Shearer and enabling of Keith Gillespie’s addiction. Plus Les’s Leap, Ginola’s stinking fags, and Asprilla’s gun mayhem.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A mailbag delve including some Dis ‘n’ Dat tales, the nature of hotels and the notion of trust, holiday pets, summer fairs, and lots more…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Updates from England’s semi-final group activities in Earth Tournament and lots of revelations about camp life. Plus… shredding and fire.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Updates from Earth Tournament, Lampard arrives at Chelsea, and why football transfer news stinks.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

KK dwells on his Sky Sports outburst for far too long but forgets about Asprilla. He is also the bigger man v Fergie and has a slump instead of a prance.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Find out what we’ve been up to at schools this weekend, what’s happening to the elephants’ tusks, and why we hate Holland & Barrett…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sam's Kylie anecdote was too long to fit into the Monday episode so here it is on its own...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

An episode dominated by England v Argentina at Earth Tournament and Kylie at Glastonbury.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

An update from Earth Tournament as well as the bird and squirrel scene. Also, we discuss which is more toxic - Archie Buchanan or Instagram?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ginola makes a pal, Kev sets up a courtroom, Cole moves to the middle of nowhere and then gives up before he is sold, enraging the Toon Army’s soldiers.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Fresh mailbag action – some Dis ‘n’ Dat, some lies, and plans for a van…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

An Earth Tournament update and some incredible off-the-pitch revelations, a swimming lesson story, and a citizen’s arrest…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

An Earth Tournament bombshell, some Leniverse team line-ups, and more Senor Dis ‘n’ Dat sightings…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

KK and Terry Mac take to the skies more than once, give Andy Cole some laundry tips, and feed some iffy meat to a monster as a mysterious burger van appears at the training ground…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A range of Senor Dis N’ Dat stories from the mailbag, as well as a fight with a homeless man.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How to gain infamy on the Sky News sofa, a mini-dive into Sam’s Father’s Day gift, and a bus-driving courtroom liar…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A bonus episode, rounding up all of the Earth Tournament 2019 group stage action and the full draw for the second round. PLUS... an exclusive major transfer announcement.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

An Earth Tournament update ahead of this weekend’s final group matches, Andy’s logistical solutions, and a double whammy of self-defending men. Also, is this all a coma?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

KK plans to capture the imagination of the whole country, we dip a toe into Brian Kilcline’s website, get life lessons from Cottee and Bowie and hear about Rob Lee and the boats.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Some TV tips, a Cannon Dad offshoot story, Senor Dis & Dat vs a wall, and the internet spies on Sam mid-episode…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

An update from the Earth Tournament, the Caped Crusader gives up reversing, and news about our next deep dive…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Some of the deluge of feedback we’ve had from listeners after our groundbreaking previous episode…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This is a long conversation from a Keegan Odyssey recording - but as it’s got nothing at all to do with KK, we’re putting it out as a separate extra episode.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kev prevents the deaths of thousands of kids, Terry Mac enjoys exotica, Sir John Hall tells the truth and Brian Kilcline’s ponytail is chopped off.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A John Timbrell update, more on Sam v Noel, and loads of chip shop and other fast food horror stories.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

On the coins, ghosts, and a whole host of chip-related stories…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Plans for our first West End musical are hatched, Sam reports from the Isle of Wight and we consider a home coin drop experience…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Dirty toilets, arcade strategy, Geordie wincing, the Liverpool boot room washing instruction fact file, and Terry Mac does another prank.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The ‘triggerproof' card, Sam’s experience of working with Jerry Springer, a school ice cream turf war, and a report from a National Trust compound…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Weekend World, cream cakes and Sam as the new Tory Prime Minister…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A football theme park, a return to Tyneside, trade fairs, and a burger van walk-out for Kev’s trusty number two…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A beautiful IFS moment, the world’s best school, Brian Walden’s lying history, and the Hulk does kids parties…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We plan to sponsor a football team AND launch our Cold War festival. Plus, kicking a footballer when he’s down, and calculating populations using the three ‘F’s   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Cosmic ordering, Paul Rudd, filthy stupid dolphins and Andy’s toxic relationship with Sam Allardyce. Shoot for the moon, everyone…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kev gets a mouth-ramming while trying to have a roadside nap, much to John Pigface’s delight.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We plan a Yuletide concert, hear about George Michael’s emergency landing, swap a cheese plant in Norwich and use a Liverpool poster for ID…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

As the Premier League season ends, we make summer plans to visit nuclear bunkers and the National Archive.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Another mailbag delve, with rogue pubes, a shed-building addict, an oddball and some crack.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We talk about actual football, look forward to Bielsa v Lampard 2, and meet history’s original stray man…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kev realises his playing days are over, Terry McDermott pretends to be an Arab sheikh, and KK flies off into the sun…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We launch the TFTM VIP Experience Day, remember shooting guns, and hear about a bad digger…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

An interview with a groundsman goes wrong, a summer hole is dug, and we meet Sir John YouTube…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

To Tyneside, where Kev is greeted like a saviour but dropped by new England boss Bobby Robson, even after a world class performance against… Rotherham. Oh, and Nazi kittens.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Google Baby, a non-kidnapping kidnapper, the truth about blobs, Sam’s Viagra journalism and more from the mailbag…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How the 1980 Iranian embassy siege was ended by extreme predicting, Bielsa v Terry, and Manference 2022 is launched.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Reaction to Keane v Neville, the PFA PL team assessed, and some dubious parenting admissions…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

KK escapes to Germany to get his back fixed, Ron Greenwood orders eel pie from England and Trevor Brooking lands a Cockney assassin mission…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Another delve into the mailbag including a rejected tattoo, an update from the king of Chinatown, an attack from a stray woman, and NHS Dave…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A plan to visit the Isle of Wight and invade Sealand, Gary Neville simmers to the point of boiling and the truth about the Windows 95 bin…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Teenage boozing, playground memories, speed-predicting, a boxing confession and a last-gasp dog death escape…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A vortex, a knee for a tooth, a cat and dog podcast, Tony Blair comes round for chilli con carne and the IRA target KK before he throws his toys out of the pram…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A clown on a roof, looking around in a pub in the olden days, William Shatner humps a mountain, a confession about The Bill, and Sam vs golf…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

And can ghosts upload videos of racism on to social media? Also, more Timbrell court action, Sam vs Geoff Shreeves and a rant about facts…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sam gets offered a job on the official Isis magazine, the tyre man comes round, and we herald the return of self-defending courtroom king John Timbrell. Oh, and a hole lid...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

George Clooney, recyclable straws, Don Revie and Sir John Curtice in a Hollywood pub with George Lucas, England gets a new national anthem, and Kev’s ‘spirit animal’ is revealed.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A farm offer, a stray man’s robot encounter, Strike It Lucky on Ecstasy, and a homemade cannon…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Predicting, vasectomies, abominable male behaviour and the dark truth about morris dancers…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Another round-up from the TFTM mailbag, including a Disney ambulance, hole exploration, the Brazilan animal lottery and Roy Keane in a maze…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Dog ham, parenting hell, smell blindness, and Sam comes out as a homosexual as the build-up to his birthday week begins…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

KK pulls on the England shirt but gets a kicking in Eastern Europe over a couple of pots filled with fanny powder…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Fridge magnets, ghost stewards, the benefits of war, and a magnificent stray woman tale…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Illicit underage booze buying, a winding revival, ball injuries, a stray beach man and that…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Double K vows to win the league with Southampton but makes Alan Ball cry. Also, some violence, a sexy woman and a pint of prawns…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Fond recollections of a mugging, a short-lived stray man and why you shouldn’t interfere with Sunderland nature…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Some looking back AND ahead, assorted dog-related stuff, and an ill-fated press trip up a mountain…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

An emergency episode as Sam had some stuff he needed to share - a receptionist run-in, a school dog story and a superb sex fail/stray man saga...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sam’s summer camp fighting memories, the launch of our podcast training course, Patrice Evra’s spunky outburst, and… space herpes?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

KK gets a goodbye ship, is asked to bring a light fitting home from Germany and narrowly misses out on some fanny powder. Also, Steve Wright gets stuck in his car…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The royal penalty shoot-out decider, Wacky Races, magnets, Newton’s Blouson, ghostly hit and run and more Archie Buchanan tales…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Service station ruminations, karaoke etiquette, Harris or Gallen, and saying yes to stuff you’re too embarrassed to say no to…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We learn more about our random fixture generator, ResultsBot has a filings-fuelled tantrum, we hear about a road race with a German legend and why Bill Clinton always gets the plane seat he wants…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kev gets tapped up in a toilet, revels in disguises, becomes a pop star in the Music Larder, and bids farewell to Hamburg. (Also incudes a James Bond diversion)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A clash of two showbiz heavyweights (and their wingmen), as well as some ingenious shoplifting and relief for the Old Trafford WAGs…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A four-decade lie, driving alone for relaxation, the tranquiliser day experience, NASA cheese, and why you can’t burn a ghost…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Not an apocalypse special, but lots of haunting advice, some stuff about wake buffets, a stray interloper, and the weekend’s football predictions…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kev fails to buy a fuse, becomes stray, apologises to a town, acquires some cheap meat from a teammate, and grows some mighty muscles…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A mailbag delve, including a 32-year-old stray man pretending to be a schoolboy, a confession of a theft from God and a hugely traumatic sex fail…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Jason Cundy on period dramas, Sir John Meals, Sam’s brief steroid addiction, pre-Brexit Asda dystopia, and we urge John Inverdale to speak out against knife crime.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sam’s prediction downfall veers into view, we foresee a West Ham stand-unveiling ambush, plus some mailbag delving…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kev gets a kicking and a clock, is smudged by Busby, tears himself away from Liverpool for the money, puts a dog on a bidet, and gets a perm…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Another mailbag delve - hoovered quad bikes, ‘hot-boxing’, distillery tours, a new deep dive candidate, a 747 loop-the-loop and some Thomas Gravesen majesticness.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The Oscars, Lysette Anthony, Cockneys, North Korea, Graeme Souness’ latest masterclass, Puel’s coin-drop future and nothing about Kepa…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sam v Avis Spain, and some match predictions.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kev encounters a coffin, a medallion and a sword before Bob Paisley takes over - and Tommy Smith acts as a character witness after KK gets punchy…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Mailbag time - a shoeless stray man sex fail, some cricketing lies, a senseless Koi Carp attack, a vetting stick, and we make plans to visit the Boat Show…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Hiding a dog childbirth situation in your bedroom, Sam’s brother goes part-stray, and we ask if ResultsBot has a gender. Oh, and a TFTM badge update…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We plan to take over BBC’s ‘This Week, Frank Lampard heads for Brighton, and we dissect Pele’s bullshit goal…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A telepathy show trial, Kev is recruited by MI5, a Tommy Smith boot deal rip-off, Shankly recruits from graduation ceremonies then brings the LOLs to Liverpool then leaves…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We dip our snouts into the correspondence trough again - includes stray men, teenage nicking, fresh bull, dad lies and a renewed attack on the character of Frank Lampard…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We pitch a underground disaster movie to David Lynch, look into river-on-river violence, and explore Frank Lampard's bid for automatic promotion based on good manners...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Some ants, we pitch a Radio 4 comedy, ResultsBot gets up to no good on his own, teenage shoplifting and the heat is on for one unlucky kid…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A delve into the mailbag reveals unsavoury iPod control, a shark-based TV pitch, a stray man who doesn’t stray too far, possibly the best day off school EVER, and loads more…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We launch the Iron Filings Society, Sam gets up on a table, we hear an adoption lie story and there’s a horrifying cat story (which might upset some of you)…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Can newborn babies see? Can a cat talk? Can dogs work in benefits offices? Is predicting like heavyweight boxing? Can you coax a tapeworm out with fruit? And some football stuff...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A round-up of your contributions - limb removal, a trouser-removing cricket injury, beating up Paul Weller's bodyguards and loads more...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We discuss wigs on TV, Shanks considers powdering Kevin who himself sets up a merch empire in the back of a junk shop, and we get sidetracked and plan a UK Fyre Festival…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Some off-the-peg banter, plans to mess someone right up using only an iPad and a drone, plus ResultsBot flies off the handle and a man apologises to a tree.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A round-up of some of the best contributions from our magnificent listeners. Bullshits, sexual fails, hero fantasies, waking up in strange places and stray men. Oh, and a psychic who used to be an Egyptian queen...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A tragic real-life tree man, Gabriel Higuain let loose in Argos, and the amazing story of the British family running amok in New Zealand...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Electric Kevin bounces on Graham Taylor’s dad’s knee on a bus, gets a job in a ‘mental hospital’, runs 50 miles into the mayor’s parlour and gets kissed by some drunken human blancmange…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

More this and that, including Mr Tickle’s penis, the Top Cat lifestyle, and a bit of football stuff…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Some customer feedback, the joys of a random number generator and we tell you the correct opinions to have about Bielsa's spying campaign.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Young Kev catches an arrow with his face, we meet his German neighbour, a drunk gets him a football trial, he lands a nemesis called Fred Leatherland, and gets into trouble with hitchhikers...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Huge TFTM monetisation plans, a Japanese restaurant update, and our sincere attempt to be better men in the modern world. And some football stuff.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Some football stuff, a homage to ‘Allo ‘Allo, a massive snooker table, a security guard with sexy-but-cat-killing fingers and an axe-wielding scooter supplier.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Despite being electrified at birth, KK is too small for a paper round so breaks into a mortuary instead and finds dead Santa before being mentored by a nun and possibly killing his pet mouse.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Some live FA Cup giant-killing reaction, stupid dreams, fresh bull and some drug-addled ride-pimpers go to work on a Mini Cooper...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We did part 2 again because we forgot we'd already done it. This version is 90% different, with added stuff about cows and Bob Marley - seemed a shame to waste it...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We pitch our travelogue TV show which might include a trip to Tranmere. Plus more bull and a gerbil-infused romantic fail...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Some eye science, dirty tricks at a Scouse card game, the stray man, Sam's hero fantasies, Andy's Blackpool death and the disgrace that is Roy Orbison...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The mechanism moves forward, Sam's brother turns legal eagle, some 'you do it' advice, and a Keown power play...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A job for Joe Hart in the TFTM media empire, some more looking back and ahead, the possibility of a Liverpool title win and some sexy robot thoughts...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

An inappropriate Nan Santa scene, a Likely Lads look back, predictions, and some woodland extra-terrestrial team bonding. Oh, and what REALLY happened to Sam from Me & My Girl…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A look ahead to a Scouse Christmas, Souness' thoughts on the Old Trafford job vacancy, horseplay with Andrey Arshavin, some top notch bull and a visit from a time traveller.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Kev gets a cow, meets the Queen, says 'heck', lists supermarkets, tunnels into a football ground and suffers a bereavement...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A look back at Roy and Graeme's dual pundit appearance covering Liverpool v Man United at the weekend.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ralph Rabbithutch, Tony Adams’ rugby takeover, your finest tales of liars, a look ahead to Keane v Souness, and some football stuff…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Disguises, a rogue statue, an exploding duck, watching stadium construction on holiday, and scouting for dogs…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Robot and human racism, liars, a grandstanding handstanding ex-Marine, the weekend's football and at last, Sam's big cow story...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

An important correction, some prediction leaderboard movement, Alf Ramsey’s World Cup Willie and a bedtime story…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Some eye-opening revelations about Sir David Attenborough, a limo trip to Wigan, leg-breaking on The One Show, and some football stuff…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Advent calendar woes, festive tea tasting, kidnap, a Bobby Charlton visit, a washbag in a top hat, and the weekend's football analysed...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A heartwarming Delaney family Christmas tale, Pancho From The Flats, Arthur Fowler and some football predictions...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

West Ham’s rollercoaster season, Ian Holloway talks tight buns, Les Reed has a go and Sam eats a curry in his pants…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A look back, a flare mule, plans for our new airport-based accent school, a power-play against Roy Keane and some other stuff. (Apologies for Sam's microphone going a bit weird halfway through)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Lots of stuff about Edmonds and Collins. Plus a bit of football stuff and some stuff where Sam gets (rightly) abused by the public.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Is Roy ticklish? What are ‘Tottenham tendencies’? Are fishermen liars? Plus, Bobby Charlton helps Roy with a Nigerian problem, and our hero explores the world of charity…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We plan to send ResultsBot to his Saudi doom, Dean Saunders shares a Patrick Kluivert story, plus Babybel, a courtroom self-defender and Reg Varney v Paul Scholes...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Wayne Rooney – this is your life! Plus Sam’s toothbrush woes, ResultsBot’s love life, we come up with a surefire hit movie, and there’s a Rod Stewart sighting…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Windsniffers, Roy’s run-in with Pablo Counago and the creation of Puppet Jim Magilton. Nemeses everywhere you look…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A look back at the weekend’s action, Ridley Scott’s ball jet, a legally-dubious Charlie Austin story and Roy Keane on David Silva’s suit stunt…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Unsavoury bush-based activities, a disgraced American author, an anonymous complaint about Spurs, some bonus Keane stuff and the match predictions…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Roy takes charge at Ipswich, who play in the wrong colour. He embraces decorating before coming up against his eternal foe once again… Professor Yaffle… in the woods…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Andy gets knocked back by TWO celeb ladies in 24 hours, we dismiss Wayne Rooney's charity match while planning our own awards ceremony, and there's a scary ghost story...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A rethink on the Bournemouth boss, Andy van der Meyde’s sex-and-zebra lifestyle, Pokemon rage and our new job editing Waitrose magazine…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Dancing machines at Wetherby services, Harry Redknapp’s wedding anniversary, assorted office invasions, and a fall-out with an opinionated Texan…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A goose appears in a pram, Sam's brother becomes consumed by his growing fame, we become enraged by computer TV hosts, and there's yet more goose stuff...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sam’s brother tries a power play on Sheffield Wednesday’s owner, Ferry begs Eno to hook him up with ITV and we look ahead to the weekend’s football action…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Roy's managerial career begins at Sunderland - he gets a swivel chair and moves into nearby student digs. His nemesis also reappears and he grapples with a player in his office.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Wenger’s lonely exile, dog seeds, Puel’s motivational floor ham, Keegan’s tea towel justice system, and our bid to be the next next Top Gear hosts…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Shahid Khan's bid to buy Wembley collapses, Gwyneth Paltrow turns up in the studio next door, Eddie Howe gets enraged, plus lots more (and some predictions too).  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Our deep dive into Roy Keane's 'The Second Half' book continues - Roy clashes with Vieira then Fergie, signs for Celtic out of spite and encounters John Hartson's pop and crisps diet...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Quiet international week - we discuss Robin of Sherwood, the first UK cash machine, James Bond visiting a Wetherspoons and Sam finally tells his nunnery story...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

England’s new fictional squad of youngsters dissected, some insight at the Tactics Board, and will a bewigged and bobble-hatted Andy play for the Faroe Islands tonight?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Our deep dive into Roy Keane's 'The Second Half' book begins here. Includes the time his body lost its iron, his disdain for the Class of 92 and some terrible revelations about Sir Bobby Charlton...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Is Leicester City an Illuminati power play? And just who is wearing Claude Puel’s face? Also, the time Sam met Jimmy Savile and a look back at the weekend’s hot football action…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Some looking back AND ahead, a dash over to the tactics board, Roy Keane reports on cabbages from his spider hole, Sam shares a potato attack story, and Results Bot attempts to turn against its masters...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Keane is tormented by Professor Yaffle in a Portuguese villa, Souness goes on hunger strike after getting sacked, Roeder runs out of coaching tokens, and Wenger shrinks himself down before hiding in a chef’s hat…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A look back at the weekend as well as a call for more fun in football, the evolution of Tree Man, a glimpse into the life of ResultsBot and the time Sam's underage drinking plan went horribly wrong...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The big win that Sam missed, an introduction to our new STATS ZONE, some speed awareness course chat, and being buried alive in a German forest…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Rupert Lowe's quest for cleanliness on the South Coast and beyond, Graeme Souness' relish at his players' on-pitch scrapping, young Wayne Rooney and a Barbara Cartland lookalike, and Sam gets stuck up a high fence...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

All the weekend's football TALKING POINTS including baby names, post-vasectomy abilities, and whether multi-culturalism will kill off the UK ladder industry.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Our first weekend preview show, including the introduction of Results Bot and Anne Diamond. Also, is a man familiar to the show actually in charge of building Spurs' new stadium?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The season of the Arsenal Invincibles… plus Saddam Hussein’s capture in a spider hole, Denis Irwin’s simple lifestyle, the demise of Leeds and the first ever McDonald’s TV ad, from… 1963?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Marco Silva is exposed as a fraud, Tree Man's authority is undermined, Sam says a terrible word and we restate our inclusivity for everyone, including all the deviants.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The Leeds babies are dismantled, Zorro arrives in the Premiership, Alex Ferguson unleashes his squeaky bum and Graeme Souness wages war on sandwiches.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Not much football to look back at so we’re focussing on hand dryers, dressing up as posh old men, a gas mascot, and the enormous potential in Roy Keane and Graeme Souness forming a revenge duo.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

As part of the London Podcast Festival, we performed a live episode, looking back at the 1987 Shoot! annual and singing a song at the end (which we have been subsequently forced to remove). Normal service will be resumed shortly.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

It's time for Allardyce to return to his spiritual home of West Ham, why Ed Woodward is better than you, fond memories of hiring a nan and more love for ITV's Dick Turpin series...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

If you haven’t heard our other podcast, now’s your chance. It’s basically TFTM but with news instead of football. This latest episode includes sky murdering, sacred shield abuse and a live cat v squirrel fight. Search ‘News Thing’ in your pod-providing app for more.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

We meet the player with the best name to pronounce in a Scouse accent, hear a chilling 9/11 prediction and the future for Jacob Rees-Mogg, Sven sells Alan Ball some shoe-lifts, and things go wrong in the Leeds nursery as O’Leary writes a book…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Tree Man’s Hammers lose again, Bullet Baxter and Lesser T-Bird both eke out draws, Rameses does a trick, we find out where Arsene Wenger has been and there’s mascot news from Spain…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The season of dead Peter Taylor’s wearable face, more from David O’Leary’s kindergarten, Gianluca Vialli’s horrific holiday wear, Liverpool’s weird treble and Harry Redknapp’s, erm, wearable face too…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A man caught in a cat lie, some naturalistic holiday art, the Cypriot toilet scene, goat trading in football and some of the weekend’s action analysed…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ruud Gullit’s Toon strop, David O’Leary’s creepy baby fixation, Kanu’s motoring sadness, and the return of a much-loved Time Machine favourite….  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

All the football is back – we have a look at it, propose a new VIP option for West Ham, discuss Disney princesses, consider the ramifications of a loose goose on a podcast, and wonder about Robbie Williams’ past cucumber history…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Ahead of our new, weekly topical episodes, we’ve sent the Time Machine forwards to try and predict what will happen in the coming season. We also watched the last 20 minutes of the transfer window while we recorded the episode…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Roy Evans gets eased out, John Gregory gives mental health advice, Phil Babb clatters his knackers, Robbie Fowler sniffs the pitch, and Joe Kinnear’s heart packs up.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

To Russia, and the most recent World Cup! England fever, getting erotically hobbled by the president of Croatia, some more deeply unsavoury anecdotes, and a load of other stuff.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

To Brazil… a goalfest with fair-play Colombian shame, some tattoo stories, Luis Suarez’s teeth injury, Stevie Wonder’s driving abilities, and a plan for a glorious 2018 festival…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

To South Africa… but what if it had been Libya? There's a scaffolding-wielding mascot, misery for England, zodiac-based team selections, Paul the psychic octopus, some cat talk, and Nelson Mandela’s biting phase.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

To Germany, with a hungover and semi-naked mascot, a trip to a Hungarian circus, the bawdiness of Baden Baden, another dream from John Laptop-Case, trouserless Dutchmen, and booze secretion tips.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

To South Korea, and breakfast boozing, the worst mascots to date, Keane v McCarthy, outrage at a foreign England boss, some tree-bound lavatorial horror and so much more…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

France 1998. Knife-wielding Italian hooligans, Ronaldo, disgusting wardrobe squatting, Zidane, dream analysis, speedballs, Beckham, a chat show dog that walks on its hind legs and so much more…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

A yankee doodle World Cup, with ITV's anti-tan strategy, Maradona's five-drug cocktail, imaginary noncing, a tale about Steve Jones from The Pyramid Game, and the launch of the hit TV show 'Sausage Island'...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Italia 90 – the worst mascot so far, some patchy football, a school play, an unexpected rat’s tail, Roger Milla’s love tree, short man syndrome and drugged Gatorade. Oh, and hello Mr. Sausage…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

To Mexico! We discuss the sanitary arrangements of England's group opponents, the correct pronunciation of 'jalapeno', cocaine-fuelled football and which is best out of rats and bats.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

School art displays, Naranjito’s sex life, alphabetical squad numbers, a dead OAP’s TV, squad songs, the worst assault on a football pitch EVER and Paul Breitner’s chequered past. Oh and… (Toni Polster...)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Christian Gross arrives on the tube, Roy Hodgson returns from European exile, Temuri Ketsbaia has a striptease meltdown, Ron Noades appoints himself at Palace, and we also look at Sky Sports' marketing strategies, Ever Decreasing Circles and shop vibes.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Graeme Souness is duped into signing Ali Dia, Kevin Keegan gets confused about miracles, Howard Wilkinson lashes out at Leeds and plots a swallow-based training session, Tony Adams bins the booze and gets addicted to self-reflection, John Motson describes an otherworldly goal and which player has a heart that is even bigger than his entire body?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Sexy sexy sexy. With sexy foreigners, sexy football, the sexy team bus video that killed Newcastle United's title challenge and Peter Schmeichel's scorched douglas, this was easily the most erotically-charged Premier League season to date. Oh, and there was Bruce Rioch as well.,,  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Another season examined by Andy and Sam, including George Graham's hole in the corner, how many helicopters you'd need to lower an elephant into Selhurst Park, a lawyer visiting a barber's shop for the very first time, and Rodney Marsh - cat-killer...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Some of the highlights of the Premier League's second season, including speculation over the smell of John Gorman, Alex Ferguson's cocker spaniel observations, some expensive Clubcall memories, a very NSFW movie quiz and Bill Kenwright's Everton 'mechanism'...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

The dawning of the Premier League and the rebirth of football itself. All the major issues are discussed, including cheerleaders, Jack Walker's millions, Alan Cork's proto-hipster beard, Alan Hansen's throbbing vein and Sheffield cutlery manufacturing etiquette.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.