Is Kev’s England place in doubt or is he a national hero? Also, dog husbandry and baby football. (Rec: 15/7/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Toy Day politics, telly tips, bird-nursing, denim etiquette, and air fryers.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Level 42, a cop dealer, a mid-pod delivery, football frauds, and an onscreen baddie revelation.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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A podcast recommendation, Delaney father and son turmoil, and a coining near-death.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Roy gets shot in the hair, Vic Guthrie goes Timbrell, we wonder about the human brain, and Blackie takes over. (Rec: 9/7/20) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Kev leaves his football will, clocks in at a boot factory, kisses some hands, and doesn’t trust people. (Rec: 8/7/20) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Lawns, driveways, caravans, wax seals, dog toilets, cars, and Portugal. (Rec: 6/7/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Fighting back-up, Roy visits his cousin’s swamp shop, Elton John’s Rothmans collection, and then… BANG! (Rec: 2/7/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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The Kemps, jugglers, stray-playing, bad magicians, Kev’s business manager arrives, and the perils of meeting Prime Ministers. (Rec: 1/7/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Unleashing your inner Lampard, being a latchkey kid, treadmill storage, watercolour aggro, and alcohol guidance. (Rec: 23/6/20) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Birthdays, prison, interviewing a criminal, TOTP, and lifted restrictions.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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The Relax video and the nuclear bomb that was Two Tribes, body-popping, Elton’s helicopter demands, and the psychobilly movement. (Rec: 28/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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The roofers have arrived, and there's a preview of the podcast awards.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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An injured Roy prepares for combat, Rovers get a lock-in, Roy arrives home drunk and gets some bad news, and Vic Guthrie acts up again. (Rec: 25/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Kev signs autographs, turns Taxi Driver, and slates his teammates – all part of his five-year plan. Plus Benny Hill. (Rec: 24/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Great Ebenezers of history, lawn admin, golf rule-breaking, drums, and Asda car park fighting. (Rec: 30/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Growing strawberries, bored kids, inhaling food, and Imelda Marcos’ safari island.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Murderous motivations, book launch whisky, Italian beach dog attack, and Norvelle lives.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Roy gets injured but gets to ref the match too, our live show blanket plans, a Race/Jordan comparison, and a dressing room bust-up. (Rec: 18/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Kev slouches and talks frankly about money again, and his good friend opens the wine. Meanwhile, Gunter Netzer launches the official Hamburg magazine. (Rec: 17/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Recycling sifters, diamond mining, respecting the bereaved, parenting, in-law power plays and more. (Rec: 16/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Cup glory, away games, showing us it, electric car hell, Nick Cotton.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Possibly the greatest top 40 in the history of charts of all time – our deep dive into it begins here with the song that dominated the whole of 1984. (Rec: 14/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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MOT stuff, frosted nudity, scaffolding, screenwash, chip failure.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Italian graveyards, The Chichester Dossiers, Roy has an alleyway incident, Penny stays in, and there’s agony on the pitch. (Rec: 11/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Money, German life confusion, a friendly red card, buckets of petrol, unpleasant meat, and eating a doughnut before you pay for it. (Rec: 10/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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House-buying, Biscoff teeth, self-surgery, an official TFTM detective, bee panic and lots more. (Rec: 9/6/20) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Celeb video messaging, tracking down a minor star, and another TFTM business opportunity.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Right! Pod barons, cheese-shaming, and why royal secret-keeping should be a Blobby job.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Roy receives a dossier and has a shower with a policeman. Brinsden gets dumped on the edge of town, and will Roy get wheelied in the face? (Rec: 4/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Our deep dive into Brian Moore’s 1979 ITV electric mouse documentary begins. (Rec: 3/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Nap techniques, bee guidance, fan comparison, and Hungarian crows. (Rec: 3/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Shutting down a football club, an apology, schools programmes, and London-focussed radio.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Corden, the Queen speaks out, children’s TV presenter emotions and Club Med sex shows.Brown John tickets: https://eventbrite.co.uk/e/143130550329Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Roy dishes out some on-pitch justice and some class politics, Ben Galloway gets involved and we hear about Roy’s book club. (Rec: 28/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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The final chapter – shark films, Gazza almost drowns, the birds make a grey pie, more of Doc’s back story, and then the film endsJoin the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Breaking a bottle to get to some money, hotel advice, milk puking, multi-conurbation sightings, and cancer help. (Rec: 26/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Not doing that, primary school hell, and market researching milk.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Our Price memories, going round to Eno’s house, self-titled albums, unwelcome life advice, and Pigeon Street. (Rec: 24/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Our wiping methods are compared and contrasted, and we discuss Class Action Park.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Roy does Mastermind, complex crowd banter, attention-seeking and Trevor Brinsden’s new low. (Rec: 21/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Steamboat Willie, Bunsen burner stockists, yodelling, bedtime trickery, Doc’s family tree, and skeleton abuse. (Rec: 20/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Two teas, poisoning other podcasts, eating dogs’ noses, and floor fishcakes. (Rec: 19/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Did Yoda pay the Jedis? Also, Chewbacca’s toilet methods, and yearning for spells in hospital and prison.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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The folk tradition in podding, a new cartoon adventure, and large parties. Also… what’s your objective?
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Roy coaches Elton Blake, the pressures of kicking a football, some childhood pain revisited, and Trevor Brinsden returns.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Dirty-handed dwarfs, living out loud, the aristocrat life, Michael Winner’s bed, and the basements of the super-rich. (Rec: 13/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Appliance-mending YouTubers, Antipodean attention-seeking, Barry Norman’s pickled onions and a dirty old man. (Rec: 12/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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A pop blob, arcade fear, an unlikely MBE, a name change, and a major Neighbours update. (Rec: 10/5/20) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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VAR’s big screen, rule confusion, the best podding duos, and a major Latvian decision.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Abandoned Melchester, Tory crumpets, a grandad that wasn’t, funerals, and Caribbean chicken.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Shameless grifters, a punch is thrown, 1980s stereotyping, snooker, Pancho’s shopping needs, and more of Roy’s terrifying kids. (Rec: 7/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Nicknames, our Radio 2 future, oxen, hot objects, Dutch bungalows, and Doc’s back story. (Rec: 6/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Self-nicknaming, child crime, kids TV casting, wedding postponement, and shelving. (Rec: 5/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Bed history, breaking into a museum, sleeping in meetings, battling with celebs’ lawyers, and some old football.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Cake antics, a family treats powerplay, napping science, illegal blue lights, and buying film rights in a pub.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Arnie Meckiff’s shop, Roy’s personal taxi, VIP prison, Mike Tyson road rage, and a punch is thrown. (Rec: 30/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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The pros and cons of dreams, canal boat hypnotherapy, Derren Brown’s Croydon head-spell, and a little bit of Snow White. (Rec: 29/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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French landlady issues, noisy eaters, addiction help and more in our first Life Logistics episode! (Rec: 28/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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An emergency pod about Frank Lampard’s dismissal from Chelsea that ends up being about David Batty instead.
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Listener abuse, deep fat frying, cable woe, viewing tips, and Sunderland skiing.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Banning thoughts, Roy’s Turkish prison memories, Blackie offers to deal with Trevor Brinsden, and a shocking shop revelation. (Rec: 23/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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How children are conceived, Disney snobbery, Northern mining, universal basic income, and lax dwarf security. (Rec: 22/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Venn diagrams, telly talk, banned baby names, and Top of the Pops debuts.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Astroturf incursion, a Nazi monkey, some showbiz gossip, dadnapping, dad lying, and 2021 predictions.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Kenny Logan’s audacity, Roy’s bullworker, Vic’s fury, a ‘Wahoooo!’, and a couple of death masks. (Rec: 16/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Did this film trigger Hitler? Who the hell does Snow White think she is? Plus Italian TV and we visit the dwarfs’ diamond mine. (Rec: 15/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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A great film, a great board game, Footballball, Liam Gallagher, and displaying your true self.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Shorter than usual due to technical issues but still time for chat about body heat, covid liars, and orange peel pens.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Supine vs lupine, small-forehead prejudice, spamming, Bryan Ferry’s worst teacher, school disco injustice and white supremacy.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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The Huntsman mulls over his job description, bird authority, and Snow White escapes into the depths of the forest. (Rec: 8/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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A pest control update, investing in the comfort market, and a potato story from the countryside.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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The top ten… a classic spiking, a killer year, a sausage, the birth of Lamparding, a pair of Harveys and the winner is declared.
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There’s a new face and the reappearance of an old one, we hear about the Melchester gay scene, and the perils of 1980s motoring. (Rec: 2/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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The Prince arrives with a whole load of dodgy entitlement, the Queen is enraged and commissions a special box to give to the Huntsman. (Rec: 1/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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20-11… Vardy fuel, road rage, equalising stuff, the best selfie, a bald kid, an escaped bear, and more.
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Roy’s dilemma is resolved, the dismantling of Paco Diaz, a shock phone call from Penny, and how to remove your fingerprints in a hurry. (Rec: 26/3/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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A deserted Danish theme park, a bucket of chump, a mirror with plenty to say and our current Queen’s FIFA obsession. (Rec 25/3/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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The Superbrat causes trouble again, messing with FIFA 20, John Veg turns up, and the ref puts Roy in an impossible position. (Rec: 19/3/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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How a TV show refused to shut down, a look at Minder, South American tit-kicking and Michael’s list of bluechip companies. (Rec: 18/3/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Dental agony, Barry Gibb’s Christmas song rage, a Barbara Windsor tribute and a raid on Argentina.
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Rovers’ Division 2 campaign gets underway with tension between Roy and both Vic Guthrie AND Nat Gosden. Meanwhile, the ref has plenty to say. (Rec: 13/3/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Our mums’ guts, Hologram Whitney, footballer tweets, dead cats on tables, and the secrets of the paparazzi. (Rec: 11/3/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Animal Magic in Scotland, Europe’s biggest baby, Shark joy, what’s inside snooker balls and a new cat infiltration.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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We’re a wall pod now – plus, our call for Britain’s greatest moments, ghost activity, and a torque injury.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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The 40th episode of this odyssey is solely devoted to the cover of the 5th September 1981 issue of Roy of the Rovers. And some other stuff. (Rec: 5/3/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Happy Days, CHiPs, Hart To Hart, Manimal, our sitcom plan, shapeshifting and being bob-on. (Rec: 4/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Attenborough’s mad world of ants, the Yule Lads, advent calendars, volunteering as celeb syringers, and Elton meets Arsene.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Spertons, how we’ll be ended, ROTR After Dark, Melchester’s deluded fans enrage us again, and the next Odyssey confirmed. (Rec: 27/2/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Beckham and his ‘uncle’, VAR takes his eye off the ball, our dystopian raspberry future, the TFTM dinner club and a tiny bit of Michael. (Rec: 27/2/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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The best British moments, Dominic Cummings, Shaun Ryder, Lovers Rock, and Michael McIntyre on Spurs.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine
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Roy tries to single-handedly tackle Rovers’ hooligan problem but goes full Lampard instead. (Rec: 20/2/20)
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The TFTM reach, sea filings, Owen gets mugged off by Shearer and asks his parents for World Cup penalty tips. (Rec: 19/4/20)
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A Wall recap, a life-altering chimp attack, snooker, psychology nonsense, ants, and a dog statue.
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The Sid James/Peter Sutcliffe connection, Broadmoor Christmas dinner, more parental humiliation, and reggae.
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A train to France 98, Andy’s demise, epilepsy, a bit of Bowie, and Michael’s over-analysis. (Rec: 12/2/20)
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Roy’s ghost wife takes part in a foursome; plus autographing, Murphy’s Mob, and a run-in with two sets of ultras. (Rec: 06/02/20)
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Michael and England get to France 98 but Hoddle gets frustrated by his players’ ability. Plus some Earth Tournament news and Sam’s unofficial half-marathon. (Rec: 07/02/20)
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Herr Bauer’s press button, the soil at Burnham Beeches, frisbee dog, and the Premier League’s new name.
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Hallucinogens, tongue sandwiches, and a drunk Penny continues to troll Roy before the Race family head to the royal wedding. (Rec: 29/01/20)
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We begin a shallow dive into Michael Owen's 'Rebooted' autobiography. Gazza's La Manga rig, solitude, and Sinitta's World Cup 98 influence. (Rec: 30/01/20)
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Modern music, Sir John Blowie, Sam’s doctor letter, Pele’s birthday, and a death-faking fish.
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The weird enclosure at the 1981 Human Royal Wedding, the Chiswick Soul Patrol, and football fan parks. (Rec: 23/01/20)
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Comebacks, the pressure of fans, Lampard’s refuelling methods, and more pro-PPV common sense.
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Roy catches anxiety and gets a nice touch from his players. Meanwhile we examine crabbing, shelling peas, drug tablets and a garden fire. (Rec: 16/1/20)
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From a tasty-looking dog tongue to Pancho From The Flats’ goose… and almost everything in between. (Rec: 15/1/20)
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Demon map needs, cheese analysis, a sealing machine opportunity, egg shelling, and Boris Johnson steals from Len.
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A new nickname, our producer stag, more reasons why football is rubbish, and Roger Taylor talks printer ink.
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Penny steps out of line, and Roy offers to take on some away fans and their Aunt while falling foul of an unwanted cloud. (Rec: 10/01/20)
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Our favourite TV show is back and we’re buying the board game. Plus hiking, eBay tips and conspiracy mates.
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Do we want Trump to die? Plus Spitting Image, Lampard’s fractious mental state and TOTP1990.
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Roy models the new Melchester strip, Charlie Carter reveals his roots, and Roy has some strange casting ideas for the Rovers TV drama. (Rec: 02/01/20)
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Sam wages war on time, plus monkey childnapping, sedating a lion, bum eggs and more. (Rec: 01/01/20)
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A bit of Prince, Sam’s rat fear, a potato ban revoked, some racy Toronto plans and a skin-shedding man. (Rec: 23/12/19)
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Our net worth revealed, Ghetto Heaven, swearing footballers and a painful memory from behind the Iron Curtain.
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Playing on concrete and metal, Harry Kane’s gender reveal party, renewing wedding vows, vasectomy reversal influencing, and Bielsa’s games room.
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Big-spleened fish men, the toe claw, watermelon chest-chopping, hands-free table tennis and a hotel car. (Rec 18/12/19)
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Things get nasty during Melchester’s Scottish friendly, but Roy lightens the mood with an amazing revelation. (Rec: 27/12/19)
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Live from a photoshoot… clowns, barnacles, freckles, radio presenter archery boasts, and a key in the skull. (Rec: 12/12/19)
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The start of our deep dive into Ripley’s Believe It Or Not 2020 - sorry but it’s no football and almost all animals. (Rec: 04/12/19)
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Lampards senior and junior, the roofers derby, more food hiding, a pumpkin war, and the Electric Mouse returns.
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Serial killers, lonely kids, the future of the 2p, Paul Heaton, stage-licking, a theft accusation, hiding food, and the reboil.
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More drama in Rovers’ pointless post-relegation end-of-season match in Scotland against Weston Villa. (Rec: 19/12/19)
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1990s sarnies, kids spending pity-time with their parents, becoming a lord for £20, more accidental noncing, and a record is broken by some racists.
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Our new favourite player name, predictions galore, fit and proper Mike Ashley, Bielsa’s plans, and Jake Humphreys.
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Roy visits a distillery, his best mate gets clingy, and we hear about the greatest work experience kid ever. (Rec: 11/12/19)
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Which Radio 1 DJs were crying on the inside? Plus a bush-based rite of passage, coining psychologists, an amazing shower curtain and dirty football managers.
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Covid vaccine side-effects, laxative plans, getting sacked, our future as travel experts, and the Spurs documentary.
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The Fleabagging of football, vampire TV licence inspectors, and the Logans cause a stir during Rovers’ Scottish trip. (Rec: 05/12/19)
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Elon Musk puts a chip in Messi’s brain, Roger Taylor dispenses some more advice, and we dissect the Harry Maguire case.
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Vaccine chat, Sam goes full Icke, holiday megawasps, blunt interviewing, Jung’s violence, and alpacas.
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Relegation misery is forgotten as Rovers head for Scotland and prepare to become TV stars. (Rec: 28/11/19)
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Sam’s weekend away, Dot Cotton’s disloyalty, circus skills, and cheap dining tips from Roger Taylor.
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‘Planing’ the magazine world, doing odd jobs for Rod Stewart, end-of-season celebrations, some talc, and an exciting new project for Roy. (Rec: 20/11/19)
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Biddy Baxter is enraged by some Jocky Wilson massage footage, our dream festival line-up, a power play on the swings, a £1 school gun, and house party sleeping.
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Rovers fans gather outside Roy’s house before he takes the chopper to the big relegation match. Plus there’s a mystery sub and the joy of self-commentating. (Rec: 14/11/19)
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Dating advice, wood acquisition, and Glen A Larson gets annoyed about Michael Knight’s twin’s face.
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Van-manning, paint disposal, a fireworks cabinet, losing some metal, Lance Armstrong, and the hammock life.
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A close look at Peter Bowles… oh, and Roy invents gaslighting, donates his old telly to Rovers and faces an unlikely relegation-dodging task. (Rec: 07/11/19)
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Escaped cows, bush journalism, hotel fire alarms, a godfather gift and more. (NB: We both agreed that this was a lovely episode)
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Dressing room celebrations, smelting racist statues, monkey mayhem, and being policed by our children.
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A hidden laptop, a burning boat, shell theft, the threat of jail, and a dramatic predicting climax.
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With hordes of Rovers fans locked outside the ground, Roy gives some friendly advice to opposing captain Don Jeavons and plans retirement in the Lake District. (Rec: 24/10/19)
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Driving a 60s Jag with a train robber, sound issues, Souness and Wilkins in Italy, and Bielsa in the Premier League.
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The Xerox saga reaches a conclusion and we hatch some new plans involving gold and Victorian grave-plundering. Plus shape-throwing and Toy Day.
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The terror of serious illness, a new throw-in podcast, a crooked ref, a nice meal out for the Race family & dressing room hi-jinks. (Recorded 19/10/2019)
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A mailbag update, some advice for Johnny Depp, songbird consumption cosmos stuff, and our new woodland campaign.
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Thermos flasks, Facebook birth wrongness, a shock Leniverse appointment and some predictions.
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Some exhausting shooting practice followed by a surprise spectator at Melchester v Zalmo in the European Cup… (Recorded 10/10/2019)
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Dishing out insults, predicting tactics, Chip Sunday, a Victorian graveyard, and Ennio Morricone.
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A lockdown houseguest, some stunning Leniverse news, a barefoot street chase, and Russian toes.
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Roy covets Blackie Gray’s wife and considers widowship while enjoying The Dukes of Hazzard and burning his clothes. (Recorded 02/10/2019)
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New words to Liverpool from the rappers, leaving a speech in the pub (but not the pub that Pele is in), seagulls eating other animals, and crow grudges.
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Roy wears himself out while trying to crush Rotherton and almost dies from sadness, but not before inspiring the rest of the Melchester team. (Recorded 26/09/2019)
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Photocopier torment, ResultsBot’s COVID nightmare, a Premier League look back and a vaccine theory.
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He's the keyboard king who was 50% of The Style Council and enjoyed spells with Dexy's Midnight Runners and Roger Daltrey and Wilko Johnson - and we've interrogated him just for you.
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Roy has a shave and gets out on the pitch to try and get over Penny, with his players all talking behind his back. (Recorded 19/09/2019)
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This was going to be a Keegan Hamburg Odyssey episode but we got sidetracked. Includes self-immolation, Raoul Moat, One Direction and the dark net.
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Insomnia, a night accident, drunk injuries, lung capacity, massive cosmos stuff, and the predictions are back.
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Our interview with the writer whose credits include Auf Wiedersehen Pet, The Manageress, Spender and a host of official World Cup films.
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Family Zoom quizzes, documentaries, framing a newspaper cutting, Hoddle & Waddle’s flop follow-up, and private detectives.
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Roy holds a successful snowbound Sunday training session, but trouble is brewing at home. And where is Ernie Gosden in 2019?
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In his new 80's movie podcast Sam Delaney joins his cousin Bruce to look back at the only Bond movie to use a plotline stolen from Minder, an elderly Roger Moore having it off with Grace Jones, a mad iceberg submarine and Q absuing his position as a state funded scientist to cop a look at lady's boobs. This pod comes out every week on a Thursday - if you like what you hear please subscribe.
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Court self-defending, Don Arden, cat prosecco, crow tactics and supplementing an educational income.
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Nat Gosden’s awful kids get in the dressing room and start mouthing off. Roy tries to arrange a child-swap, and sets up a Sunday session across the road…
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The return of the Premier League, trending on Twitter, and lifting Babs Windsor above your head.
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Unwanted park attention, the shady influence of Big Crow, a spooky mystery, and the Dominic Cummings conundrum solved.
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Nat Gosden makes his Rovers debut, the nightmare of your ROTR issue not arriving in time, and Sunderland’s gated compounds.
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Pet treats, mug relationships, family crests, party pants catastrophe, nut chat, and a sad desert island fantasy.
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True dog love, Minder, Tyson, Strummer on swimming, a Scouse night out and Wednesday night’s plans.
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A much-needed Earth Tournament update, a Biscoff development, a sunflower crime, and another TFTM Man of Honour.
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Roy visits a kiddy hospital on Christmas Day, hits the release catch, and makes a stunning signing for Rovers...
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Over-caffeining, meeting your heroes, garage boxing, more crow stuff, and an unusual house guest.
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Back to the vets, cat valium, Pancho’s retail needs, teenage bush discovery, and some digging chat.
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Roy has a post-match showdown and Roy Jr turns into an apple dog witch. Meanwhile, is China controlling our wind?
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The evil that crows do, a Nelson update, dog-shaving, shopping for Pancho and the truth about Shilton.
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Geoff Giles continues to torment Roy, who is more concerned with circumcision and presenting his plans for the nation to Mrs Thatcher. Meanwhile, the Queen shuts down Sky Sports…
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Camper vans, Lamparding at festivals, private podding for Jay Kay, our posthumous episode plans, and Prince.
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Our thoughts on the Egyptians and Japan, how TFTM will end, fishcakes revisited, and homemade crisps.
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Racey has a sausage-fuelled nightmare – but can salvation arrive in the form of Lorraine Chase?
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We meet Victor Boskovic, discuss curly cables and Ben Galloway’s dreamland. Meanwhile, Roy pins his hopes on a trembling teenage keeper…
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Addictive behaviour, a Euro 92 cuckolding update, astronomy, and Len’s Q&A. (Apologies for Sam’s robot voice for the first 12 mins of this)
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Chippy tea deliveries, some incredible Earth Tournament updates, and Sam’s sadness after getting the snacks in 28 years ago.
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As his goalie has a breakdown, Roy fends off a tirade of fan abuse. Back at home, we see the Race family's space-age telly as concerns grow for Roy Jr’s welfare.
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Shopping, slippers, Sir John Asos, Baileys, an Earth Tournament update, some lies and weirdness, and roof tasering.
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Baking bread, a near-triggering, rugby horror, water cannons, swords and guess what’s back…?
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Charlie Carter has a mare, Paco Diaz gives it some dis ‘n’ dat, and Roy tries to salvage glory from disaster and Cretan revenge.
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An ice cube, Canada, footballer initiation retaliations, and more of your weirdest sightings.
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How housework is filling the void, the strangest things we’ve ever seen, our plans to breed and flog tiger cubs, and women’s hairstyles.
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Our two year isolation prep, a live cuppa delivery, a Raab attack, the best news in months, and the magic of Tiger King.
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A farewell lunch gets out of hand, a there’s generic fans protest, Roy rips off his rivals, and Rovers’ season goes from bad to worse…
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Home schooling, pandemic exercising, a doctor’s advice, panic buying, World Cup movies and our next odyssey is revealed…
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We’ve made a viral video which prompted the government to give everyone free cash – how will this affect ResultBot’s robot money pipe?
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Roy drops a transfer bombshell, the Portdean fans run wild at Melboro, we meet Penny Race and Roy gets his chopper out…
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Just what happened when Sam took a bag of glass shards home? Plus a bit of John Cosmos and some pharmacist news…
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Here's all seven episodes of the original Keane Odyssey, which looked at Roy's 'The Second Half' book, joined together into one massive 232-minute super episode. YAFFLE!
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Our finest Talksport moment, plus Sam goes up the storage and gets sucked into panic-buying. Tomorrow… the broken glass story…
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How Dad’s Army can help us through the crisis, Sir John Corona, anonymous Lampards, playground virus info, and knocking up some ventilators…
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Isolation, Jackie Chan’s lock-up, some content recommendations, and a load of Joe Pasquales.
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Roy waxes lyrical about the olive kebab, there’s some bungling and a rotten ref, and Roy and Blackie’s lock-in tactics are revealed…
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Our new Roy of the Rovers 1980s deep dive gets underway. Two lads go from car park shovelling to first team starts, while another pair have an on-pitch clash…
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We reach the end of the Odyssey with the drama of Saipan, Roy looking forward to a bright future, and a man trapped in the Japanese sky forever…
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Instagram purchasing addiction, our Corona profiteering plans, and inventive toilet roll alternatives.
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Some old snooker music, being bionic, some Coronavirus news, more teapots, Jack Hargreaves, and new Space Robbers.
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Harry’s Challenge, a Bryan Adams show in the middle of the night, cheese sandwiches, dealing with drinking while you’re an alcoholic, & dressing up as a tiger.
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Plans for our conference (Coronageddon permitting), speed-mentoring, hand gel panic-buying, bridging snack woes and more…
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Roy has his own thing (not like those robot babies), gives Bosnich a blast, gets his revenge on Haaland, and we learn more about the mouth sandwich…
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Sam looks forward to a birthday party and remembers upsetting Amanda Holden. We also get some cashpoint safety tips. (Apologies for the sound issues)
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Roy has a 10-day city break for the 1999 Champions League Final, shares a hotel room with Denis Irwin, and avoids a Barcelona blinding.
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Cheese, Delaney letters to West Ham, part two of Space Robbers, some more cosmos stuff, and an Apple naming crisis…
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Tactics, predictions, and our recent brush with the upper classes - almost 100% football content.
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Tom & Jerry, Stubby the war dog, more Blue Peter revelations and a first-hand encounter with Wojtek.
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Freelancing versus the foundry, a showbiz party, a fat black cat update and a local busybody website.
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Sam’s hygienist tries to entice him, we celebrate John Noakes, hear more from the cosmos and start a choose-your-own-adventure…
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Baby Solskjaer is almost squeezed into oblivion, Sir John Jazz invents jazz, Roy gets a windowless gym, and there's an insight into the Cockney community…
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Backstage at our latest live show, a mailbag delve, the cosmos, some riddles, and Scotland’s best bear.
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Backstage at our live show, we talk about our pre-show rituals, and hear about The God Diet and self-hating Londoners.
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A feline encounter goes weird, why we should all have more tea, and some football predictions...
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A cockney turns up at Old Trafford, Roy has a fight in a bar, does his cruciate, gets obsessed with Neighbours again, and has a one-man Christmas party
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Some listener Lamparding, football haters, crabbing horror, rig servicing, non-books, and a struggle with a riddle.
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A shorter than usual episode with predictions, a non-dead man, and Sam’s musings on his week
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Roy gets a bit sniffy about Cantona, Fergie makes some prank calls, we take a trip to Paperboy Heaven and Jason McAteer buys some dolls…
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Cristiano Ronaldo’s life hacks, murder telly, cucumbers, and just what will Sam do on the telly for money?
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Frank Lampard meets a van-driving enchanted football, we plan a podcast academy, Sam gives a talk at a posh school, plus the Poznan babies. Not much Roy in this one, sorry...
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Local deaths and local horses, riddles, booze hiding, a squirrel in a school, and butcher bullying.
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A warning from nature, the bony hand of VAR, the Beatles launch a start-up, and Cass gets in touch with his roots…
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Sam brings back riddles, there’s some 2020 predictions, and we expose you to our Royal opinions.
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The truth about Roy’s lawyer, the pros and cons of wearing studs, more ticket-distribution agony, and the introduction of church merch…
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Andy’s solo Christmas Day, the Delaneys’ Boxing Day party, sawdust lessons and will there be telly redemption for Sam?
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Roy gets hooked on Tetris, goes watch-shopping with Lee Sharpe and is sniffed out by Professor Yaffle at USA 94…
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Jack Walker’s beeping, fizzing fax machine fails to do its job and Kenny Dalglish pursues Roy to Cyprus in an attempt to sue him…
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The decade-defining football match, a rare shout-out, a secret about Lineker’s house, and a look back at the prediction king’s 2019 efforts.
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A trip to Jersey, a shallow dive into Bergerac, Sam’s Father’s Day meltdown, and Roy is appalled by his team mates’ homes…
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Fraternal rivalry, our countryside podcast retreat, an armed police mix-up, and some film recommendations.
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Sunderland duck disappointment, a restaurant fight, Christmas calypso, and a Yuletide star’s festive farewell.
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We get sidetracked with George Lucas, Sam has a run-in with Rio Ferdinand’s alien advisors, and lots of stuff about hiding from people See you all UPTOWN!
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Double-visiting the services, taking the kids to ‘divorce court’, the weekend’s speedball goal and Santa’s nemesis…
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We debate the merit of public school kids, Sam goes to a celeb birthday party and has a look at Anthea Turner’s fiancé’s hair. Also, predictions.
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Roy falls foul of Mr Ticket, embraces classic disco, gets familiar with the Forest pitch, power-plays Jack Charlton and sows the seeds of the McCarthy feud…
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We reveal our current ailments, discuss doctor punishment, explore the permasquint, and investigate alleged EPL wrongdoing…
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The Archbishop of Canterbury’s rig, Simon Cowell’s toilet paper, and our search for the EPL’s most beautiful boss…
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Clough gives Roy his first set of wheels then punches him in the face, but Roy makes up for it with a great night out in Sidetrax in Cork. Plus some stuff about Pinocchio and the Queen’s data systems needs…
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Why Dolly Parton is better than Ken Loach, Sting’s sex and bargains advice, a racist spider, and some more ghost stuff.
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The differences between relationships in Milton Keynes and Barcelona, inviting Martin Lewis for dinner, and the best ever football formation
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Exotic hipster football, reviews of a couple of new films, a book giveaway and some football predicting…
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Roy displays contempt for his new teammates and is forced to drink milk before a road trip with Brian Clough. Also, we hear from Graeme Souness and George Weah…
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Recorded live backstage in Cardiff, we reflect on the Prince Andrew interview and, erm, Radiohead...
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Reflections of our recent live shows, including the kind of people we don’t want to see at them. Plus more Pellegrini angst, and some thoughts about Barry Grant…
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Unemployed Roy sinks into a ‘half life’ and becomes obsessed with Neighbours before getting a job eating chocolate, George Weah backs a demolition start-up, and Nottingham Forest come calling…
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An on-the-road mid-tour episode from Manchester, where we get mobbed by a pair of crazed fans...
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Tentative plans to take a contract killer on tour, Rupert Murdoch’s panic over Clive Allen’s hair loss, and are you in the 3% or the 97%?
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Roy’s origin story begins with Basil Fawlty, a record-breaking breakfast, some mucky books and a love affair with a daytime soap… (nine months old if you're IFS #SubscribeOrPerish)
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A mailbag delve including some post-Elton reading, dream nonsense, Pancho’s footballing skills, and a mighty TTFN…
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A broken knife update, plans for the TFTM film and video game, along with stuff about The Wall and the football…
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This is it - the end. Kev settles his scores with the Cockney Mafia and looks back at a life well and truly lived. Thank you, Electric Mouse.
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Elton John’s many email addresses, a pre-wedding Mexican clap doctor, Sam’s family justice, and van or caravan?
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Shark tips from Sam’s mum, a look back at The Wall, how to do non-sports on radio, and some other stuff…
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We delve into the ghost book again, predict a bit of football, and learn more about Michael Hutchence…
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A bit more fruit chat, Debarge, Snoozing Sam, and Kev heads towards the Toon exit (via the kitchen of a London restaurant)
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Sam gets some stuff off his chest, plus emails about intimate injuries, an embarrassing reminder and secret teacher games.
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A look back at the weekend’s football… but to be honest, it’s mostly about Danny Dyer’s BBC1 gameshow ‘The Wall’.
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Powerday, frozen raspberries, Canning Town, superglue protests, the hardest Beatle, unsuitable films for kids, overbuying pasta, and a little bit of football.
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We reveal our fruit Champions Leagues, Kev is forced to buy a player he can’t find on Google and Mike Ashley downs a pint in 12 seconds.
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The best use of a Lego hand, a local hardman goes too far, neighbour nicknames, a dog-procuring liar, and the half-term school bunny…
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Sir John Asda, Sam’s weak spot revealed to Millwall, Desert Island Discs rated, and some more ghost stuff…
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We discuss baths, moan about our newsletter, dismiss Heston Blumenthal, and argue about Michael Hutchence. (Sign up for our newsletter at https://tftimemachine.com)
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Unplanned weekends, spying on Lineker, Coleen v Rebekah, our newsletter, and we delve into the ultimate ghost book.
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Thierry Henry’s vanishing coat hanger, Kev cups Shearer in his hands and gets laughed at by the Germans, and Mike Ashley does some ratings.
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Sam’s second fact, some poetry, some dodgy grass fire activity, some school banter and some other stuff. Includes sexual content.
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How to modify and maximise your bed rig set-up, plus a dad/cat/dog/snake story, Sardinian chaos, and a bit of football chat.
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Kev’s Newcastle comeback falls foul of the Cockney Mafia as he tries to sign some of the game’s top stars. Plus night time phone calls and online player bids.
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We reveal our Wu names, admonish certain UK cities, look back AND forward to nuclear armageddon, and predict a few football matches.
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Kev encounters Tony Jiminez – includes internet versus microfiche, the Amazon rain forest and two Mike Ashleys?
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Things grind to a halt at Manchester City as Kev analyses Joey Barton. Then it’s a night drive to London for a meeting with Mike Ashley. Also, napping.
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Labour #onthecoins, Baby ResultsBot, a burning man, the best tweet ever, and a dramatic way to settle a debt among friends.
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Sam gets all excited after a West Ham win, we hail Sky Sports’ football punditry, and experience differing curry fortunes.
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Our plans for the Queen’s death, how to entertain the ponciest authors in Britain, and a bit of football stuff.
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David Cameron’s return to public life, James Martin’s fireman meltdown, and more from Yanni’s bar ‘Memories’ on the island of Kos…
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Some cabbie acting, predictions, a film quiz, napping, a demon-resetting chat with the otters and a frog wedding.
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Kev brings in miserable Nicolas Anelka (bemusing Robbie Fowler into the bargain), unleashes Joey Barton on to an unsuspecting world, and gives Richard Dunne his last last last chance.
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The final of our cosy backstage chats from our live tour in which we talk about alcoholism and a top gangster’s bodily fluids…
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A mini-episode we recorded before our Glasgow show this evening - let us regale you with tales of life on the road.
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Deep vein thrombosis, speeding tickets, Stuart Pearce’s final match, celebrity ant-related gossip, and should Sam and Andy be running the country?
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Activities, balcony sleeping, a middle-aged stand-off, post office dreams, and some football chat…
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More tales from the Delaneys’ all-inclusive compound, including all-day drinking with Cas and Sam losing the plot with a French Liverpool fan.
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Reports from France and Cyprus, including an unwelcome visitor to the pool, some supermarket molestation and some cat chat…
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Kev tries to rid Maine Road of its booze culture. Plus Liam Gallagher, urine, and being drunk when grandma calls round.
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Phil Brown scolds his players on the pitch, Man City get super rich, we have a naked night in with Jurgen Klopp, there’s insanity at the Toon, and Fergie gets right inside Rafa’s heid…
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A look back at the England v Morocco final, ResultsBot’s downward slide goes on, widows, Alim Ozturk’s Turkish life, and war in the Delaney family WhatsApp group…
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Andy reports some tragic news from Cyprus, the prediction mind games increase, and we hear possibly the ultimate TTFN story…
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Kev moans about being England boss, Ron Atkinson’s TV-watching snack, Sam’s West Ham ticket office nightmare and surprising trip to Moscow…
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A report from our secret compound, a gift for an atrocious criminal, a hot dog challenge, some ratings and some Aquafresh facts…
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The ‘so what’ penalty, intense German predicting camps, and an encounter with the Coin Mistress during a seaside jaunt…
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We finally reveal the identity of Britain’s Best Widow while Sam recounts the late 90’s pursuit of a legendary DJ…
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Kev struggles with England as the Pigfaces of Fleet Street work their evil magic on him, in spite of a warning from Monte Fresco. And was Our Price a socialist utopia?
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A mailbag delve with some Senor Dis ‘N’ Dat, a lion liar and a local vigilante. Plus a Timbrell update and Joey Barton’s dad.
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Why Gary Lineker equals safety, the new wave of banter, some ratings, a Leniverse update, and we reveal Britain’s Best Widow...
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A look ahead at the new season, and also some stuff about Grange Hill deaths and the estate of Sir John Triffid.
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Michael Jackson visits Fulham before Kev leaves for England and an ageism crisis. Also, ghost minorities…
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A mailbag delve, a trip to the Costa Brava with Rocky and Ricky, the introduction of our new game ‘Ratings’, and the spectacular departure of Scratchcard John.
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Len’s alter-egos, fast cars, diffusing football violence, a Budapest rig, and Paul Hollywood…
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Bits of all sorts - coins, rigs, dis, dat, Capes, badgers, work disciplinary, and a thieving stray man. Join our prediction league on the Soccer Saturday Super Six app with code 1PY8SY
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Kev moves to Fulham but we focus mainly on Mohamed Al-Fayed selling lions in Harrods and the magnificence of Ray Wilkins.
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Sam brings us tales of coining and car booting on the Isle of Wight, and we discuss Geoff Capes' budgie-breeding motivations...
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KK leaves Tyneside and goes on holiday as the nation mourns. Plus regeneration chat, royal connections and new front door research tips…
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The strongest man of all time addresses members of the World Economic Forum. Plus widows’ rigs, crematorium bike lessons and gang rejection.
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Alan Pardew, celebrity coins, Steve Bruce and a bit of Sid James. Oh, and an exclusive interview with Sam’s son Len.
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Kev’s Newcastle exit looms into view, Sir John Hall lets the lads use his house while he’s in Spain and there’s a… VIP Stevie Wonder experience…
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A mailbag delve with some fresh Senor Dis ‘n Dat, a toothpaste deep dive, a bit of ‘touchy touchy’ and our plans for the Potato Awards.
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Incredible sport, the refuelling habits of druids, England’s Earth Tournament final opponents are revealed, and there’s a magnificent Lewis Collins story…
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John Pigface rings Broadmoor, we learn more about Big Galaxy’s hit TV show ‘Warrior’, there’s some John Timbrell info, and even some football talk…
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KK’s disguise-aided pursuit of Shearer and enabling of Keith Gillespie’s addiction. Plus Les’s Leap, Ginola’s stinking fags, and Asprilla’s gun mayhem.
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A mailbag delve including some Dis ‘n’ Dat tales, the nature of hotels and the notion of trust, holiday pets, summer fairs, and lots more…
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Updates from England’s semi-final group activities in Earth Tournament and lots of revelations about camp life. Plus… shredding and fire.
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Updates from Earth Tournament, Lampard arrives at Chelsea, and why football transfer news stinks.
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KK dwells on his Sky Sports outburst for far too long but forgets about Asprilla. He is also the bigger man v Fergie and has a slump instead of a prance.
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Find out what we’ve been up to at schools this weekend, what’s happening to the elephants’ tusks, and why we hate Holland & Barrett…
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Sam's Kylie anecdote was too long to fit into the Monday episode so here it is on its own...
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An update from Earth Tournament as well as the bird and squirrel scene. Also, we discuss which is more toxic - Archie Buchanan or Instagram?
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Ginola makes a pal, Kev sets up a courtroom, Cole moves to the middle of nowhere and then gives up before he is sold, enraging the Toon Army’s soldiers.
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An Earth Tournament update and some incredible off-the-pitch revelations, a swimming lesson story, and a citizen’s arrest…
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An Earth Tournament bombshell, some Leniverse team line-ups, and more Senor Dis ‘n’ Dat sightings…
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KK and Terry Mac take to the skies more than once, give Andy Cole some laundry tips, and feed some iffy meat to a monster as a mysterious burger van appears at the training ground…
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A range of Senor Dis N’ Dat stories from the mailbag, as well as a fight with a homeless man.
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How to gain infamy on the Sky News sofa, a mini-dive into Sam’s Father’s Day gift, and a bus-driving courtroom liar…
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A bonus episode, rounding up all of the Earth Tournament 2019 group stage action and the full draw for the second round. PLUS... an exclusive major transfer announcement.
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An Earth Tournament update ahead of this weekend’s final group matches, Andy’s logistical solutions, and a double whammy of self-defending men. Also, is this all a coma?
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KK plans to capture the imagination of the whole country, we dip a toe into Brian Kilcline’s website, get life lessons from Cottee and Bowie and hear about Rob Lee and the boats.
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Some TV tips, a Cannon Dad offshoot story, Senor Dis & Dat vs a wall, and the internet spies on Sam mid-episode…
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An update from the Earth Tournament, the Caped Crusader gives up reversing, and news about our next deep dive…
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Some of the deluge of feedback we’ve had from listeners after our groundbreaking previous episode…
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This is a long conversation from a Keegan Odyssey recording - but as it’s got nothing at all to do with KK, we’re putting it out as a separate extra episode.
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Kev prevents the deaths of thousands of kids, Terry Mac enjoys exotica, Sir John Hall tells the truth and Brian Kilcline’s ponytail is chopped off.
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A John Timbrell update, more on Sam v Noel, and loads of chip shop and other fast food horror stories.
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Plans for our first West End musical are hatched, Sam reports from the Isle of Wight and we consider a home coin drop experience…
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Dirty toilets, arcade strategy, Geordie wincing, the Liverpool boot room washing instruction fact file, and Terry Mac does another prank.
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The ‘triggerproof' card, Sam’s experience of working with Jerry Springer, a school ice cream turf war, and a report from a National Trust compound…
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A football theme park, a return to Tyneside, trade fairs, and a burger van walk-out for Kev’s trusty number two…
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A beautiful IFS moment, the world’s best school, Brian Walden’s lying history, and the Hulk does kids parties…
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We plan to sponsor a football team AND launch our Cold War festival. Plus, kicking a footballer when he’s down, and calculating populations using the three ‘F’s
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Cosmic ordering, Paul Rudd, filthy stupid dolphins and Andy’s toxic relationship with Sam Allardyce. Shoot for the moon, everyone…
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Kev gets a mouth-ramming while trying to have a roadside nap, much to John Pigface’s delight.
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