Top Flight Time Machine

Top Flight Time Machine

By Andy Dawson & Sam Delaney

Andy Dawson & Sam Delaney - used to be football, all over the place now. Coins, ghosts, digging, dis, dat...

Episodes

The Keegan Hamburg Odyssey - Part 7

Is Kev’s England place in doubt or is he a national hero? Also, dog husbandry and baby football. (Rec: 15/7/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
14/04/2130m 52s

Life Logistics - Jeans Advice

Toy Day politics, telly tips, bird-nursing, denim etiquette, and air fryers.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
13/04/2134m 15s

Joint Prime Ministers

Level 42, a cop dealer, a mid-pod delivery, football frauds, and an onscreen baddie revelation.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/04/2129m 20s

Pouncing On Experiences

A podcast recommendation, Delaney father and son turmoil, and a coining near-death.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
09/04/2125m 38s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 58

Roy gets shot in the hair, Vic Guthrie goes Timbrell, we wonder about the human brain, and Blackie takes over. (Rec: 9/7/20)  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
08/04/2134m 24s

The Keegan Hamburg Odyssey - Part 6

Kev leaves his football will, clocks in at a boot factory, kisses some hands, and doesn’t trust people. (Rec: 8/7/20)  Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
07/04/2133m 33s

Life Logistics - Driving

Lawns, driveways, caravans, wax seals, dog toilets, cars, and Portugal. (Rec: 6/7/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
06/04/2132m 54s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 57

Fighting back-up, Roy visits his cousin’s swamp shop, Elton John’s Rothmans collection, and then… BANG! (Rec: 2/7/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
01/04/2133m 46s

The Keegan Hamburg Odyssey - Part 5

The Kemps, jugglers, stray-playing, bad magicians, Kev’s business manager arrives, and the perils of meeting Prime Ministers. (Rec: 1/7/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
31/03/2136m 3s

Life Logistics - Garage Privilege

Unleashing your inner Lampard, being a latchkey kid, treadmill storage, watercolour aggro, and alcohol guidance. (Rec: 23/6/20) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
30/03/2136m 31s

God Knows, There’s Not Many Good Days

Birthdays, prison, interviewing a criminal, TOTP, and lifted restrictions.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
29/03/2132m 47s

Top Flight Tune Machine - 28/06/1984 Part 2

The Relax video and the nuclear bomb that was Two Tribes, body-popping, Elton’s helicopter demands, and the psychobilly movement. (Rec: 28/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
28/03/2142m 4s

Sam’s New Overalls

The roofers have arrived, and there's a preview of the podcast awards.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
26/03/2139m 44s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 56

An injured Roy prepares for combat, Rovers get a lock-in, Roy arrives home drunk and gets some bad news, and Vic Guthrie acts up again. (Rec: 25/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
25/03/2133m 49s

The Keegan Hamburg Odyssey - Part 4

Kev signs autographs, turns Taxi Driver, and slates his teammates – all part of his five-year plan. Plus Benny Hill. (Rec: 24/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
24/03/2134m 4s

Life Logistics - The Ghost Of Football

Great Ebenezers of history, lawn admin, golf rule-breaking, drums, and Asda car park fighting. (Rec: 30/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
23/03/2135m 11s

Sybil The Parrot

Growing strawberries, bored kids, inhaling food, and Imelda Marcos’ safari island.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
22/03/2138m 33s

Reverse Mum Insult

Murderous motivations, book launch whisky, Italian beach dog attack, and Norvelle lives.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
19/03/2132m 27s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 55

Roy gets injured but gets to ref the match too, our live show blanket plans, a Race/Jordan comparison, and a dressing room bust-up. (Rec: 18/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
18/03/2138m 20s

The Keegan Hamburg Odyssey - Part 3

Kev slouches and talks frankly about money again, and his good friend opens the wine. Meanwhile, Gunter Netzer launches the official Hamburg magazine. (Rec: 17/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
17/03/2132m 43s

Life Logistics - In-Law Power Play

Recycling sifters, diamond mining, respecting the bereaved, parenting, in-law power plays and more. (Rec: 16/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
16/03/2137m 52s

Superpredicting

Cup glory, away games, showing us it, electric car hell, Nick Cotton.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
15/03/2136m 7s

Top Flight Tune Machine - 28/06/1984

Possibly the greatest top 40 in the history of charts of all time – our deep dive into it begins here with the song that dominated the whole of 1984. (Rec: 14/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
14/03/2141m 50s

Mould Death Panic

MOT stuff, frosted nudity, scaffolding, screenwash, chip failure.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/03/2144m 49s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 54

Italian graveyards, The Chichester Dossiers, Roy has an alleyway incident, Penny stays in, and there’s agony on the pitch. (Rec: 11/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
11/03/2139m 47s

The Keegan Hamburg Odyssey - Part 2

Money, German life confusion, a friendly red card, buckets of petrol, unpleasant meat, and eating a doughnut before you pay for it. (Rec: 10/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
10/03/2132m 34s

Life Logistics - Wart-Be-Gone

House-buying, Biscoff teeth, self-surgery, an official TFTM detective, bee panic and lots more. (Rec: 9/6/20) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
09/03/2133m 3s

Crowdfunding Chaka Khan

Celeb video messaging, tracking down a minor star, and another TFTM business opportunity.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
08/03/2138m 32s

Nicholas Witchell

Right! Pod barons, cheese-shaming, and why royal secret-keeping should be a Blobby job.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
05/03/2134m 45s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 53

Roy receives a dossier and has a shower with a policeman. Brinsden gets dumped on the edge of town, and will Roy get wheelied in the face? (Rec: 4/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
04/03/2137m 16s

The Keegan Hamburg Odyssey - Part 1

Our deep dive into Brian Moore’s 1979 ITV electric mouse documentary begins. (Rec: 3/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
03/03/2133m 19s

Life Logistics - Honey Extraction

Nap techniques, bee guidance, fan comparison, and Hungarian crows. (Rec: 3/6/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
02/03/2136m 20s

Learning and Growing

Shutting down a football club, an apology, schools programmes, and London-focussed radio.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
01/03/2137m 10s

Activate Brown John

Corden, the Queen speaks out, children’s TV presenter emotions and Club Med sex shows.Brown John tickets: https://eventbrite.co.uk/e/143130550329Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
26/02/2136m 38s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 52

Roy dishes out some on-pitch justice and some class politics, Ben Galloway gets involved and we hear about Roy’s book club. (Rec: 28/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
25/02/2131m 56s

The Snow White Odyssey - Part 10

The final chapter – shark films, Gazza almost drowns, the birds make a grey pie, more of Doc’s back story, and then the film endsJoin the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
24/02/2149m 3s

Life Logistics: Glass Smashing

Breaking a bottle to get to some money, hotel advice, milk puking, multi-conurbation sightings, and cancer help. (Rec: 26/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
23/02/2139m 13s

Florida Roy

Not doing that, primary school hell, and market researching milk.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
22/02/2149m 15s

Top Flight Tune Machine – 17/07/1999

Our Price memories, going round to Eno’s house, self-titled albums, unwelcome life advice, and Pigeon Street. (Rec: 24/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
21/02/2145m 3s

Cloth Special

Our wiping methods are compared and contrasted, and we discuss Class Action Park.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
19/02/2138m 14s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 51

Roy does Mastermind, complex crowd banter, attention-seeking and Trevor Brinsden’s new low. (Rec: 21/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
18/02/2132m 56s

The Snow White Odyssey - Part 9

Steamboat Willie, Bunsen burner stockists, yodelling, bedtime trickery, Doc’s family tree, and skeleton abuse. (Rec: 20/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
17/02/2135m 22s

Life Logistics - Imaginary Arrival Music

Two teas, poisoning other podcasts, eating dogs’ noses, and floor fishcakes. (Rec: 19/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
16/02/2140m 6s

Shirking Not Working

Did Yoda pay the Jedis? Also, Chewbacca’s toilet methods, and yearning for spells in hospital and prison.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
15/02/2135m 3s

Space John

The folk tradition in podding, a new cartoon adventure, and large parties. Also… what’s your objective?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/02/2141m 21s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 50

Roy coaches Elton Blake, the pressures of kicking a football, some childhood pain revisited, and Trevor Brinsden returns.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
11/02/2141m 7s

The Snow White Odyssey - Part 8

Dirty-handed dwarfs, living out loud, the aristocrat life, Michael Winner’s bed, and the basements of the super-rich. (Rec: 13/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
10/02/2136m 47s

Life Logistics - Watery Hole

Appliance-mending YouTubers, Antipodean attention-seeking, Barry Norman’s pickled onions and a dirty old man. (Rec: 12/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
09/02/2139m 44s

Top Flight Tune Machine - 09/01/1989

A pop blob, arcade fear, an unlikely MBE, a name change, and a major Neighbours update. (Rec: 10/5/20) Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
08/02/2144m 5s

Honesty Football

VAR’s big screen, rule confusion, the best podding duos, and a major Latvian decision.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
08/02/2142m 52s

Uncle Tom

Abandoned Melchester, Tory crumpets, a grandad that wasn’t, funerals, and Caribbean chicken.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
05/02/2143m 6s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 49

Shameless grifters, a punch is thrown, 1980s stereotyping, snooker, Pancho’s shopping needs, and more of Roy’s terrifying kids. (Rec: 7/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
04/02/2139m 55s

The Snow White Odyssey – Part 7

Nicknames, our Radio 2 future, oxen, hot objects, Dutch bungalows, and Doc’s back story. (Rec: 6/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
03/02/2134m 12s

Life Logistics - Drink Value

Self-nicknaming, child crime, kids TV casting, wedding postponement, and shelving. (Rec: 5/5/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
02/02/2136m 35s

Ape Pillow

Bed history, breaking into a museum, sleeping in meetings, battling with celebs’ lawyers, and some old football.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
01/02/2138m 12s

Stan Bowles’ Ambulance

Cake antics, a family treats powerplay, napping science, illegal blue lights, and buying film rights in a pub.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
29/01/2137m 21s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 48

Arnie Meckiff’s shop, Roy’s personal taxi, VIP prison, Mike Tyson road rage, and a punch is thrown. (Rec: 30/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
28/01/2134m 55s

The Snow White Odyssey - Part 6

The pros and cons of dreams, canal boat hypnotherapy, Derren Brown’s Croydon head-spell, and a little bit of Snow White. (Rec: 29/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/01/2134m 39s

Life Logistics - Water

French landlady issues, noisy eaters, addiction help and more in our first Life Logistics episode! (Rec: 28/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
26/01/2138m 56s

Lampard Sacked

An emergency pod about Frank Lampard’s dismissal from Chelsea that ends up being about David Batty instead.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
25/01/2125m 42s

Snow Fun

Listener abuse, deep fat frying, cable woe, viewing tips, and Sunderland skiing.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
25/01/2143m 11s

Death By Grace Jones

Chess teams, some dadnapping, a bit of euthanasia, and some teenage mischief.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
22/01/2135m 36s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 47

Banning thoughts, Roy’s Turkish prison memories, Blackie offers to deal with Trevor Brinsden, and a shocking shop revelation. (Rec: 23/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
21/01/2135m 57s

The Snow White Odyssey - Part 5

How children are conceived, Disney snobbery, Northern mining, universal basic income, and lax dwarf security. (Rec: 22/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
20/01/2131m 47s

Not Blue Monday

Venn diagrams, telly talk, banned baby names, and Top of the Pops debuts.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
18/01/2134m 39s

Squirrel Gang

Astroturf incursion, a Nazi monkey, some showbiz gossip, dadnapping, dad lying, and 2021 predictions.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
15/01/2143m 5s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 46

Kenny Logan’s audacity, Roy’s bullworker, Vic’s fury, a ‘Wahoooo!’, and a couple of death masks. (Rec: 16/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
14/01/2132m 38s

The Snow White Odyssey - Part 4

Did this film trigger Hitler? Who the hell does Snow White think she is? Plus Italian TV and we visit the dwarfs’ diamond mine. (Rec: 15/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
13/01/2132m 48s

The Tao Of Blobby

A great film, a great board game, Footballball, Liam Gallagher, and displaying your true self.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
11/01/2138m 15s

Little Sam

Shorter than usual due to technical issues but still time for chat about body heat, covid liars, and orange peel pens.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
08/01/2120m 30s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 45

Supine vs lupine, small-forehead prejudice, spamming, Bryan Ferry’s worst teacher, school disco injustice and white supremacy.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
07/01/2129m 53s

The Snow White Odyssey - Part 3

The Huntsman mulls over his job description, bird authority, and Snow White escapes into the depths of the forest. (Rec: 8/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
06/01/2132m 18s

Mandle-Burning Man-Child

A pest control update, investing in the comfort market, and a potato story from the countryside.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
04/01/2144m 34s

The 50 Greatest British Moments - Part 5

The top ten… a classic spiking, a killer year, a sausage, the birth of Lamparding, a pair of Harveys and the winner is declared.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
01/01/2141m 14s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 44

There’s a new face and the reappearance of an old one, we hear about the Melchester gay scene, and the perils of 1980s motoring. (Rec: 2/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
31/12/2038m 14s

The Snow White Odyssey - Part 2

The Prince arrives with a whole load of dodgy entitlement, the Queen is enraged and commissions a special box to give to the Huntsman. (Rec: 1/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
30/12/2032m 25s

The 50 Greatest British Moments - Part 4

20-11… Vardy fuel, road rage, equalising stuff, the best selfie, a bald kid, an escaped bear, and more.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
28/12/2039m 23s

The 50 Greatest British Moments - Part 3

30-21… dominos, corpse-boozing, stadium-soiling, the Clough clump, a dead sheep, and more.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
25/12/2034m 18s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 43

Roy’s dilemma is resolved, the dismantling of Paco Diaz, a shock phone call from Penny, and how to remove your fingerprints in a hurry. (Rec: 26/3/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
24/12/2034m 10s

The Snow White Odyssey - Part 1

A deserted Danish theme park, a bucket of chump, a mirror with plenty to say and our current Queen’s FIFA obsession. (Rec 25/3/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
23/12/2031m 47s

The 50 Greatest British Moments - Part 2

40-31… Blankety Blank, Mark E. Smith, swearing, pencil-smuggling, digging, and more.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
21/12/2039m 41s

Mouse Emergency!

Sam discovered a mouse infestation in his rig - here’s what happened next…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
20/12/2048m 12s

The 50 Greatest British Moments - Part 1

50-41, including a horse, Alan Titchmarsh, apartheid, fancy dress, a goalkeeper, and more.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
18/12/2038m 59s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 42

The Superbrat causes trouble again, messing with FIFA 20, John Veg turns up, and the ref puts Roy in an impossible position. (Rec: 19/3/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
17/12/2034m 20s

The Owen Odyssey - Part 8

How a TV show refused to shut down, a look at Minder, South American tit-kicking and Michael’s list of bluechip companies. (Rec: 18/3/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
16/12/2037m 52s

Pervert Story

Why Simon had to die, a park-based powerplay, and a CBD unboxing.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
14/12/2039m 3s

Reginald Bosanquet’s Disco

Dental agony, Barry Gibb’s Christmas song rage, a Barbara Windsor tribute and a raid on Argentina.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
11/12/2033m 41s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 41

Rovers’ Division 2 campaign gets underway with tension between Roy and both Vic Guthrie AND Nat Gosden. Meanwhile, the ref has plenty to say. (Rec: 13/3/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
10/12/2035m 16s

The Owen Odyssey - Part 7

Our mums’ guts, Hologram Whitney, footballer tweets, dead cats on tables, and the secrets of the paparazzi. (Rec: 11/3/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
09/12/2033m 37s

Terry Nutkins v Johnny Depp

Animal Magic in Scotland, Europe’s biggest baby, Shark joy, what’s inside snooker balls and a new cat infiltration.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
07/12/2046m 1s

Non-Dyer Wall Talk

We’re a wall pod now – plus, our call for Britain’s greatest moments, ghost activity, and a torque injury.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
04/12/2038m 6s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 40

The 40th episode of this odyssey is solely devoted to the cover of the 5th September 1981 issue of Roy of the Rovers. And some other stuff. (Rec: 5/3/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
03/12/2030m 14s

The Owen Odyssey - Part 6

Happy Days, CHiPs, Hart To Hart, Manimal, our sitcom plan, shapeshifting and being bob-on. (Rec: 4/4/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
02/12/2036m 24s

Icelandic Christmas Folklore

Attenborough’s mad world of ants, the Yule Lads, advent calendars, volunteering as celeb syringers, and Elton meets Arsene.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
30/11/2043m 5s

Diego Maradona

Our tribute to the greatest footballer who ever lived.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
26/11/2042m 30s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 39

Spertons, how we’ll be ended, ROTR After Dark, Melchester’s deluded fans enrage us again, and the next Odyssey confirmed. (Rec: 27/2/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
26/11/2040m 15s

The Owen Odyssey - Part 5

Beckham and his ‘uncle’, VAR takes his eye off the ball, our dystopian raspberry future, the TFTM dinner club and a tiny bit of Michael. (Rec: 27/2/20)Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
25/11/2035m 59s

A Cockney at Oxford?

The best British moments, Dominic Cummings, Shaun Ryder, Lovers Rock, and Michael McIntyre on Spurs.Join the Iron Filings Society: https://www.patreon.com/topflighttimemachine  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
23/11/2040m 51s

Gladiators and Wispas

Gladiators and Wispas.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
20/11/2047m 39s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 38

Roy tries to single-handedly tackle Rovers’ hooligan problem but goes full Lampard instead. (Rec: 20/2/20)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
19/11/2027m 49s

The Owen Odyssey - Part 4

The TFTM reach, sea filings, Owen gets mugged off by Shearer and asks his parents for World Cup penalty tips. (Rec: 19/4/20)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
18/11/2035m 39s

Koi Carp For Cockneys

A Wall recap, a life-altering chimp attack, snooker, psychology nonsense, ants, and a dog statue.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
16/11/2037m 13s

All The Trimmings

The Sid James/Peter Sutcliffe connection, Broadmoor Christmas dinner, more parental humiliation, and reggae.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
13/11/2041m 41s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 37

The coconut crab, nightwear, an addiction to murder, and Roy has a dilemma. (Rec: 13/2/20)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/11/2034m 56s

The Owen Odyssey - Part 3

A train to France 98, Andy’s demise, epilepsy, a bit of Bowie, and Michael’s over-analysis. (Rec: 12/2/20)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
11/11/2032m 25s

The Joy of CNN

Monopoly, the end of Trump, Arsene Wenger’s audiobook, and illicit schoolyard trading.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
09/11/2045m 53s

Touch & Steel

The literary event of 2020, an armchair, Bananarama and new bin talk.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
06/11/2035m 51s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 36

Roy’s ghost wife takes part in a foursome; plus autographing, Murphy’s Mob, and a run-in with two sets of ultras. (Rec: 06/02/20)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
05/11/2030m 49s

The Owen Odyssey - Part 2

Michael and England get to France 98 but Hoddle gets frustrated by his players’ ability. Plus some Earth Tournament news and Sam’s unofficial half-marathon. (Rec: 07/02/20)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
04/11/2029m 47s

'Daddy, Why Did You Lie?’

Herr Bauer’s press button, the soil at Burnham Beeches, frisbee dog, and the Premier League’s new name.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
02/11/2033m 37s

Sunderland Hot Bodies

The Hairy Cornflake, why early Loaded created TFTM, and a rat-hole pervert.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
30/10/2036m 16s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 35

Hallucinogens, tongue sandwiches, and a drunk Penny continues to troll Roy before the Race family head to the royal wedding. (Rec: 29/01/20)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
29/10/2038m 53s

The Owen Odyssey - Part 1

We begin a shallow dive into Michael Owen's 'Rebooted' autobiography. Gazza's La Manga rig, solitude, and Sinitta's World Cup 98 influence. (Rec: 30/01/20)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
28/10/2035m 52s

Danny Dyer vs The Style Council

Ghosts, The Wall, pub fighting, a kiddie camp story, and Lampard.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
26/10/2039m 33s

Check Your Bits

Modern music, Sir John Blowie, Sam’s doctor letter, Pele’s birthday, and a death-faking fish.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
23/10/2035m 36s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 34

The weird enclosure at the 1981 Human Royal Wedding, the Chiswick Soul Patrol, and football fan parks. (Rec: 23/01/20)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
22/10/2030m 32s

The Ripley Odyssey - Part 8

James Garner v Glen A Larson, and a bit from the Ripley book too. (Rec: 22/01/20)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
21/10/2031m 30s

Another Football Episode

Comebacks, the pressure of fans, Lampard’s refuelling methods, and more pro-PPV common sense.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
19/10/2036m 36s

Covid Cul-de-sac

Understanding tiers, ghost Christmas plans, and entitled football fans (again).  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
16/10/2035m 20s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 33

Roy catches anxiety and gets a nice touch from his players. Meanwhile we examine crabbing, shelling peas, drug tablets and a garden fire. (Rec: 16/1/20)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
15/10/2034m 42s

The Ripley Odyssey - Part 7

From a tasty-looking dog tongue to Pancho From The Flats’ goose… and almost everything in between. (Rec: 15/1/20)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
14/10/2031m 2s

Continental Breakfast Unboxed

Demon map needs, cheese analysis, a sealing machine opportunity, egg shelling, and Boris Johnson steals from Len.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/10/2035m 33s

Kid Football Passport Scam

A new nickname, our producer stag, more reasons why football is rubbish, and Roger Taylor talks printer ink.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
09/10/2038m 38s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 32

Penny steps out of line, and Roy offers to take on some away fans and their Aunt while falling foul of an unwanted cloud. (Rec: 10/01/20)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
08/10/2032m 38s

The Ripley Odyssey - Part 6

It’s mostly hair, this one. And beards. (Rec: 09/01/20)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
07/10/2031m 9s

Reflections On The Wall

Our favourite TV show is back and we’re buying the board game. Plus hiking, eBay tips and conspiracy mates.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
05/10/2031m 18s

Fleet Foot Frankie

Do we want Trump to die? Plus Spitting Image, Lampard’s fractious mental state and TOTP1990.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
02/10/2033m 37s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 31

Roy models the new Melchester strip, Charlie Carter reveals his roots, and Roy has some strange casting ideas for the Rovers TV drama. (Rec: 02/01/20)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
01/10/2031m 24s

The Ripley Odyssey - Part 5

Sam wages war on time, plus monkey childnapping, sedating a lion, bum eggs and more. (Rec: 01/01/20)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
30/09/2029m 16s

The Ripley Odyssey - Part 4

A bit of Prince, Sam’s rat fear, a potato ban revoked, some racy Toronto plans and a skin-shedding man. (Rec: 23/12/19)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
29/09/2034m 1s

Top Flight Millionaires

Our net worth revealed, Ghetto Heaven, swearing footballers and a painful memory from behind the Iron Curtain.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
28/09/2036m 24s

Pumpkin Discount

Playing on concrete and metal, Harry Kane’s gender reveal party, renewing wedding vows, vasectomy reversal influencing, and Bielsa’s games room.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
25/09/2033m 34s

The Ripley Odyssey - Part 3

Big-spleened fish men, the toe claw, watermelon chest-chopping, hands-free table tennis and a hotel car. (Rec 18/12/19)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
24/09/2034m 49s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 30

Things get nasty during Melchester’s Scottish friendly, but Roy lightens the mood with an amazing revelation. (Rec: 27/12/19)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
23/09/2032m 48s

The Ripley Odyssey - Part 2

Live from a photoshoot… clowns, barnacles, freckles, radio presenter archery boasts, and a key in the skull. (Rec: 12/12/19)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
22/09/2033m 16s

The Ripley Odyssey - Part 1

The start of our deep dive into Ripley’s Believe It Or Not 2020 - sorry but it’s no football and almost all animals. (Rec: 04/12/19)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
21/09/2039m 1s

Countdown Bath

Lampards senior and junior, the roofers derby, more food hiding, a pumpkin war, and the Electric Mouse returns.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
21/09/2039m 47s

Floppy Criminals

Serial killers, lonely kids, the future of the 2p, Paul Heaton, stage-licking, a theft accusation, hiding food, and the reboil.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
18/09/2043m 55s

The Melchester Odyssey – Part 29

More drama in Rovers’ pointless post-relegation end-of-season match in Scotland against Weston Villa. (Rec: 19/12/19)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
16/09/2032m 27s

ResultsBot’s Halfway House

1990s sarnies, kids spending pity-time with their parents, becoming a lord for £20, more accidental noncing, and a record is broken by some racists.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
14/09/2039m 35s

Premier League Preview 20/21

Our new favourite player name, predictions galore, fit and proper Mike Ashley, Bielsa’s plans, and Jake Humphreys.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
11/09/2037m 24s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 28

Roy visits a distillery, his best mate gets clingy, and we hear about the greatest work experience kid ever. (Rec: 11/12/19)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
09/09/2030m 46s

Dream Radio Hero Work

Which Radio 1 DJs were crying on the inside? Plus a bush-based rite of passage, coining psychologists, an amazing shower curtain and dirty football managers.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
07/09/2037m 40s

Six Times A Day

Covid vaccine side-effects, laxative plans, getting sacked, our future as travel experts, and the Spurs documentary.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
04/09/2040m 18s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 27

The Fleabagging of football, vampire TV licence inspectors, and the Logans cause a stir during Rovers’ Scottish trip. (Rec: 05/12/19)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
02/09/2035m 0s

Billionaire Skip Wars

Elon Musk puts a chip in Messi’s brain, Roger Taylor dispenses some more advice, and we dissect the Harry Maguire case.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
31/08/2039m 10s

Creature Market

Vaccine chat, Sam goes full Icke, holiday megawasps, blunt interviewing, Jung’s violence, and alpacas.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
28/08/2037m 1s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 26

Relegation misery is forgotten as Rovers head for Scotland and prepare to become TV stars. (Rec: 28/11/19)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
26/08/2031m 32s

Glamping Blood Feud

Sam’s weekend away, Dot Cotton’s disloyalty, circus skills, and cheap dining tips from Roger Taylor.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
24/08/2032m 31s

Ask Pele!

What women want, the best photo ever, 50 Cent in Sunderland, and Roger Taylor’s pamphlets.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
21/08/2033m 53s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 25

‘Planing’ the magazine world, doing odd jobs for Rod Stewart, end-of-season celebrations, some talc, and an exciting new project for Roy. (Rec: 20/11/19)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
19/08/2034m 30s

The Unwinnable Del Boy

Doctor’s notes, trivialising Abba, Covid coining, axe-throwing, and a robin with a message.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
17/08/2033m 26s

Canal Lampard Encounter

Biddy Baxter is enraged by some Jocky Wilson massage footage, our dream festival line-up, a power play on the swings, a £1 school gun, and house party sleeping.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
14/08/2028m 11s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 24

Rovers fans gather outside Roy’s house before he takes the chopper to the big relegation match. Plus there’s a mystery sub and the joy of self-commentating. (Rec: 14/11/19)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/08/2034m 42s

Cinema Snack Fiasco

Dating advice, wood acquisition, and Glen A Larson gets annoyed about Michael Knight’s twin’s face.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
10/08/2025m 50s

Van Day

Van-manning, paint disposal, a fireworks cabinet, losing some metal, Lance Armstrong, and the hammock life.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
07/08/2032m 25s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 23

A close look at Peter Bowles… oh, and Roy invents gaslighting, donates his old telly to Rovers and faces an unlikely relegation-dodging task. (Rec: 07/11/19)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
05/08/2034m 57s

Roger Taylor’s Dishoom Voucher

Escaped cows, bush journalism, hotel fire alarms, a godfather gift and more. (NB: We both agreed that this was a lovely episode)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
03/08/2037m 41s

Best Times/Worst Times

Pies, cream teas, Morecambe & Wise, an exploding head, painting, and more.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
31/07/2039m 53s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 22

Some pomp, Elton John’s sex logistics, and Roy plans a move to London. (Rec: 31/10/2019)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
29/07/2038m 51s

Top Dollar or Casual Bloke?

Dressing room celebrations, smelting racist statues, monkey mayhem, and being policed by our children.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/07/2040m 58s

Split From Split

A hidden laptop, a burning boat, shell theft, the threat of jail, and a dramatic predicting climax.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
24/07/2032m 30s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 21

With hordes of Rovers fans locked outside the ground, Roy gives some friendly advice to opposing captain Don Jeavons and plans retirement in the Lake District. (Rec: 24/10/19)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
22/07/2039m 39s

The Air

Driving a 60s Jag with a train robber, sound issues, Souness and Wilkins in Italy, and Bielsa in the Premier League.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
20/07/2044m 54s

Smelting

The Xerox saga reaches a conclusion and we hatch some new plans involving gold and Victorian grave-plundering. Plus shape-throwing and Toy Day.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
17/07/2039m 56s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 20

The terror of serious illness, a new throw-in podcast, a crooked ref, a nice meal out for the Race family & dressing room hi-jinks. (Recorded 19/10/2019)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
15/07/2034m 21s

Ortolan Zeitgeist

A mailbag update, some advice for Johnny Depp, songbird consumption cosmos stuff, and our new woodland campaign.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
13/07/2032m 9s

Louie?

Thermos flasks, Facebook birth wrongness, a shock Leniverse appointment and some predictions.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
10/07/2033m 12s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 19

Some exhausting shooting practice followed by a surprise spectator at Melchester v Zalmo in the European Cup… (Recorded 10/10/2019)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
08/07/2032m 59s

IFS Big Week

Dishing out insults, predicting tactics, Chip Sunday, a Victorian graveyard, and Ennio Morricone.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
06/07/2035m 42s

ResultsBot and ERNIE

A lockdown houseguest, some stunning Leniverse news, a barefoot street chase, and Russian toes.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
03/07/2036m 19s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 18

Roy covets Blackie Gray’s wife and considers widowship while enjoying The Dukes of Hazzard and burning his clothes. (Recorded 02/10/2019)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
02/07/2033m 28s

Andy Three-Hammocks

New words to Liverpool from the rappers, leaving a speech in the pub (but not the pub that Pele is in), seagulls eating other animals, and crow grudges.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
29/06/2039m 28s

Business Geese

Kenny Dalglish’s phone, a TFTM drummer, hammocks, penguins, and sleeping over a rope.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
26/06/2039m 0s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 17

Roy wears himself out while trying to crush Rotherton and almost dies from sadness, but not before inspiring the rest of the Melchester team. (Recorded 26/09/2019)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
25/06/2026m 36s

The Xerox Perpetuity

Photocopier torment, ResultsBot’s COVID nightmare, a Premier League look back and a vaccine theory.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
22/06/2037m 23s

Humans of Honour - Mick Talbot

He's the keyboard king who was 50% of The Style Council and enjoyed spells with Dexy's Midnight Runners and Roger Daltrey and Wilko Johnson - and we've interrogated him just for you.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
20/06/2050m 52s

Personal Ice Cream Service

Mad dads, a softball/golfer altercation, postman tales, and some buried money.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
19/06/2034m 51s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 16

Roy has a shave and gets out on the pitch to try and get over Penny, with his players all talking behind his back. (Recorded 19/09/2019)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
18/06/2034m 15s

SAS BBQ

This was going to be a Keegan Hamburg Odyssey episode but we got sidetracked. Includes self-immolation, Raoul Moat, One Direction and the dark net.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
17/06/2023m 39s

Paternal Hand-Holding

Insomnia, a night accident, drunk injuries, lung capacity, massive cosmos stuff, and the predictions are back.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
15/06/2039m 45s

Ripley & Wilcox Clone Army

La Liga, Geoffrey Chichester, Morrissey, telly tips, and wart removal.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/06/2047m 23s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 15

Penny storms off to her mother's and Roy enjoys being home alone. For a while...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
11/06/2030m 20s

Humans of Honour - Stan Hey

Our interview with the writer whose credits include Auf Wiedersehen Pet, The Manageress, Spender and a host of official World Cup films.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
08/06/2051m 41s

Up The Gelato

Banning fans from football, ice cream queuing and the cosmos, and a couple of new games.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
08/06/2033m 59s

Grandad’s Football Boast

Family Zoom quizzes, documentaries, framing a newspaper cutting, Hoddle & Waddle’s flop follow-up, and private detectives.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
05/06/2040m 53s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 14

Roy holds a successful snowbound Sunday training session, but trouble is brewing at home. And where is Ernie Gosden in 2019?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
04/06/2033m 43s

A View To A Kill

In his new 80's movie podcast Sam Delaney joins his cousin Bruce to look back at the only Bond movie to use a plotline stolen from Minder, an elderly Roger Moore having it off with Grace Jones, a mad iceberg submarine and Q absuing his position as a state funded scientist to cop a look at lady's boobs. This pod comes out every week on a Thursday - if you like what you hear please subscribe.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
03/06/2049m 21s

Train Beer Teacher

Court self-defending, Don Arden, cat prosecco, crow tactics and supplementing an educational income.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
01/06/2032m 50s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 13

Nat Gosden’s awful kids get in the dressing room and start mouthing off. Roy tries to arrange a child-swap, and sets up a Sunday session across the road…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
31/05/2030m 32s

It’s Back!

The return of the Premier League, trending on Twitter, and lifting Babs Windsor above your head.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
29/05/2035m 40s

Voyeur Stag

Unwanted park attention, the shady influence of Big Crow, a spooky mystery, and the Dominic Cummings conundrum solved.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
25/05/2035m 8s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 12

Nat Gosden makes his Rovers debut, the nightmare of your ROTR issue not arriving in time, and Sunderland’s gated compounds.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
22/05/2034m 20s

Salmon Buttons

Pet treats, mug relationships, family crests, party pants catastrophe, nut chat, and a sad desert island fantasy.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
22/05/2043m 49s

The Spirit of Lonely Water

True dog love, Minder, Tyson, Strummer on swimming, a Scouse night out and Wednesday night’s plans.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
18/05/2037m 29s

Hail Zito Morco

A much-needed Earth Tournament update, a Biscoff development, a sunflower crime, and another TFTM Man of Honour.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
15/05/2032m 31s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 11

Roy visits a kiddy hospital on Christmas Day, hits the release catch, and makes a stunning signing for Rovers...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
14/05/2032m 12s

New Fox

Over-caffeining, meeting your heroes, garage boxing, more crow stuff, and an unusual house guest.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
11/05/2039m 47s

The New Normal

Back to the vets, cat valium, Pancho’s retail needs, teenage bush discovery, and some digging chat.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
08/05/2032m 14s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 10

Roy has a post-match showdown and Roy Jr turns into an apple dog witch. Meanwhile, is China controlling our wind?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
07/05/2035m 47s

Biscuit Biscuits

The evil that crows do, a Nelson update, dog-shaving, shopping for Pancho and the truth about Shilton.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
04/05/2037m 45s

The Charity Safety Net

Tubby youth abuse, a Nelson tail update, puppy prep, and an 80s TV monster.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
01/05/2039m 11s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 9

Geoff Giles continues to torment Roy, who is more concerned with circumcision and presenting his plans for the nation to Mrs Thatcher. Meanwhile, the Queen shuts down Sky Sports…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
30/04/2035m 38s

Wonderful Things

Camper vans, Lamparding at festivals, private podding for Jay Kay, our posthumous episode plans, and Prince.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/04/2034m 2s

When Cows Disappeared

Our thoughts on the Egyptians and Japan, how TFTM will end, fishcakes revisited, and homemade crisps.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
26/04/2034m 56s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 8

Racey has a sausage-fuelled nightmare – but can salvation arrive in the form of Lorraine Chase?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
23/04/2028m 48s

Hot Mouth USA

A tail update, toastie-maker disposal, a worm win, and two different mentions of dinosaurs.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
22/04/2032m 0s

Sexy Burglar

Paranoia, loss adjustment, celebrity rigs, our dream Prime Minister, and cat tail horror.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
21/04/2035m 35s

Lonely Mountain Wind

Mental health top-ups, the Nuttall Test, the worst sporting figures, and potato formats.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
20/04/2037m 4s

Little Elvis & Robocop

Sheffield Wednesday, Spud-U-Like and some other stuff…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
17/04/2035m 45s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 7

We meet Victor Boskovic, discuss curly cables and Ben Galloway’s dreamland. Meanwhile, Roy pins his hopes on a trembling teenage keeper…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
16/04/2032m 25s

The Pressures Of Podding

Addictive behaviour, a Euro 92 cuckolding update, astronomy, and Len’s Q&A. (Apologies for Sam’s robot voice for the first 12 mins of this)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
14/04/2044m 22s

Euro 92 Nightmare

Chippy tea deliveries, some incredible Earth Tournament updates, and Sam’s sadness after getting the snacks in 28 years ago.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
10/04/2036m 47s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 6

As his goalie has a breakdown, Roy fends off a tirade of fan abuse. Back at home, we see the Race family's space-age telly as concerns grow for Roy Jr’s welfare.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
09/04/2034m 2s

Egg Uber

Shopping, slippers, Sir John Asos, Baileys, an Earth Tournament update, some lies and weirdness, and roof tasering.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
07/04/2033m 24s

Thank You Belgian Scientist

Baking bread, a near-triggering, rugby horror, water cannons, swords and guess what’s back…?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
06/04/2033m 50s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 5

Charlie Carter has a mare, Paco Diaz gives it some dis ‘n’ dat, and Roy tries to salvage glory from disaster and Cretan revenge.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
02/04/2029m 29s

Wasp Bus

An ice cube, Canada, footballer initiation retaliations, and more of your weirdest sightings.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
01/04/2038m 45s

Weirdest Things

Mainly a round-up of the weirdest things you’ve seen. Some great, some average, some awful.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
31/03/2029m 48s

The Zen Of Tidying Up

How housework is filling the void, the strangest things we’ve ever seen, our plans to breed and flog tiger cubs, and women’s hairstyles.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
30/03/2034m 49s

Leave It To Cosmos

Our two year isolation prep, a live cuppa delivery, a Raab attack, the best news in months, and the magic of Tiger King.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/03/2034m 13s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 4

A farewell lunch gets out of hand, a there’s generic fans protest, Roy rips off his rivals, and Rovers’ season goes from bad to worse…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
26/03/2034m 8s

Trump’s Badgers

Some begging, ghost neighbours, tigers, virus rumours and Lamparding the lockdown.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
24/03/2038m 35s

Bird Exploitation

Home schooling, pandemic exercising, a doctor’s advice, panic buying, World Cup movies and our next odyssey is revealed…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
23/03/2034m 34s

Shut The Pubs!

We’ve made a viral video which prompted the government to give everyone free cash – how will this affect ResultBot’s robot money pipe?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
20/03/2033m 0s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 3

Roy drops a transfer bombshell, the Portdean fans run wild at Melboro, we meet Penny Race and Roy gets his chopper out…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
19/03/2039m 43s

Glass Special

Just what happened when Sam took a bag of glass shards home? Plus a bit of John Cosmos and some pharmacist news…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
18/03/2032m 3s

The First Keane Odyssey - Omnibus Episode

Here's all seven episodes of the original Keane Odyssey, which looked at Roy's 'The Second Half' book, joined together into one massive 232-minute super episode. YAFFLE!   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
17/03/203h 52m

Scholes Or Varney?

Our finest Talksport moment, plus Sam goes up the storage and gets sucked into panic-buying. Tomorrow… the broken glass story…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
17/03/2028m 3s

Introducing Your Lay Scientists

How Dad’s Army can help us through the crisis, Sir John Corona, anonymous Lampards, playground virus info, and knocking up some ventilators…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
15/03/2034m 45s

Shopping Parasite

Isolation, Jackie Chan’s lock-up, some content recommendations, and a load of Joe Pasquales.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
14/03/2030m 30s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 2

Roy waxes lyrical about the olive kebab, there’s some bungling and a rotten ref, and Roy and Blackie’s lock-in tactics are revealed…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/03/2033m 7s

The Melchester Odyssey - Part 1

Our new Roy of the Rovers 1980s deep dive gets underway. Two lads go from car park shovelling to first team starts, while another pair have an on-pitch clash…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/03/2035m 35s

The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 19

We reach the end of the Odyssey with the drama of Saipan, Roy looking forward to a bright future, and a man trapped in the Japanese sky forever…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
11/03/2040m 19s

Bum Wasps

Instagram purchasing addiction, our Corona profiteering plans, and inventive toilet roll alternatives.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
10/03/2032m 19s

Your Weekend Is Yours

Some old snooker music, being bionic, some Coronavirus news, more teapots, Jack Hargreaves, and new Space Robbers.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
06/03/2035m 20s

The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 18

Harry’s Challenge, a Bryan Adams show in the middle of the night, cheese sandwiches, dealing with drinking while you’re an alcoholic, & dressing up as a tiger.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
05/03/2032m 52s

The QPR Murders

A bit of John Cosmos, sexy telly, the Bristow story, a news jotter and more  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
03/03/2034m 52s

Nan And The Cup Final Ticket

How to act tough in a chippy, Biscoff love and Eric Bristow gets A Question of Sport wrong.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
03/03/2033m 24s

Manference Is Go!

Plans for our conference (Coronageddon permitting), speed-mentoring, hand gel panic-buying, bridging snack woes and more…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
28/02/2027m 56s

The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 17

Roy has his own thing (not like those robot babies), gives Bosnich a blast, gets his revenge on Haaland, and we learn more about the mouth sandwich…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/02/2030m 12s

Long Dinner

Our Radio 4 takeover plans, a trip to a Noel Coward play, hotel reviews, and Tyson Fury.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
24/02/2037m 1s

The Dawson Stance

Sam looks forward to a birthday party and remembers upsetting Amanda Holden. We also get some cashpoint safety tips. (Apologies for the sound issues)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
21/02/2034m 44s

The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 16

Roy has a 10-day city break for the 1999 Champions League Final, shares a hotel room with Denis Irwin, and avoids a Barcelona blinding.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
20/02/2038m 12s

Hateful Neighbours

A look about outdoors, bins, Sir John God’s wrath, riddles, and war animals.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
18/02/2042m 58s

Pub Car Park

Sam’s first OB, Tears For Fears, some Lamparding, prosthetics, and the end of civilisation.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
17/02/2030m 51s

Dental Nightmare

Cheese, Delaney letters to West Ham, part two of Space Robbers, some more cosmos stuff, and an Apple naming crisis…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
15/02/2029m 26s

The Football Episode

Tactics, predictions, and our recent brush with the upper classes - almost 100% football content.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
14/02/2026m 55s

The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 15

Roy becomes a bad harlequin, scorns the city centre, and tries to stay normal.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/02/2031m 46s

Identical Shep

Tom & Jerry, Stubby the war dog, more Blue Peter revelations and a first-hand encounter with Wojtek.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
11/02/2033m 13s

Russian Sunday Dinner

Freelancing versus the foundry, a showbiz party, a fat black cat update and a local busybody website.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
10/02/2036m 50s

Dental Hijacking

Sam’s hygienist tries to entice him, we celebrate John Noakes, hear more from the cosmos and start a choose-your-own-adventure…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
07/02/2032m 24s

The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 14

Baby Solskjaer is almost squeezed into oblivion, Sir John Jazz invents jazz, Roy gets a windowless gym, and there's an insight into the Cockney community…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
05/02/2037m 16s

Almost Live From Leeds

Backstage at our latest live show, a mailbag delve, the cosmos, some riddles, and Scotland’s best bear.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
04/02/2026m 42s

Almost Live From London

Backstage at our live show, we talk about our pre-show rituals, and hear about The God Diet and self-hating Londoners.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
03/02/2023m 20s

Fat Black Cat

A feline encounter goes weird, why we should all have more tea, and some football predictions...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
31/01/2037m 22s

The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 13

A cockney turns up at Old Trafford, Roy has a fight in a bar, does his cruciate, gets obsessed with Neighbours again, and has a one-man Christmas party  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
30/01/2035m 9s

Guts Cod

Some listener Lamparding, football haters, crabbing horror, rig servicing, non-books, and a struggle with a riddle.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
28/01/2031m 19s

Car Sleeping

Sticking with dull books, studio construction, and dubious street transactions…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/01/2033m 59s

Doncaster Services

A shorter than usual episode with predictions, a non-dead man, and Sam’s musings on his week  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
24/01/2023m 47s

The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 12

Roy gets a bit sniffy about Cantona, Fergie makes some prank calls, we take a trip to Paperboy Heaven and Jason McAteer buys some dolls…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
23/01/2033m 38s

Bigger Than JFK

Ongoing personal highs and lows, some fine riddle work and a bit of actual football chat…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
21/01/2032m 47s

Timbrell Update

Court reporting, Keane v Carragher, influencing and more…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
20/01/2035m 1s

Rig Upgrade

Cristiano Ronaldo’s life hacks, murder telly, cucumbers, and just what will Sam do on the telly for money?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
17/01/2033m 13s

The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 11

Frank Lampard meets a van-driving enchanted football, we plan a podcast academy, Sam gives a talk at a posh school, plus the Poznan babies. Not much Roy in this one, sorry...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
15/01/2033m 4s

Cheers, Cosmos!

Local deaths and local horses, riddles, booze hiding, a squirrel in a school, and butcher bullying.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
14/01/2038m 4s

When The Roses Bloomed

A warning from nature, the bony hand of VAR, the Beatles launch a start-up, and Cass gets in touch with his roots…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
13/01/2032m 7s

Kevin Technics

Sam brings back riddles, there’s some 2020 predictions, and we expose you to our Royal opinions.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
10/01/2040m 1s

The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 10

The truth about Roy’s lawyer, the pros and cons of wearing studs, more ticket-distribution agony, and the introduction of church merch…    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
09/01/2037m 37s

Outer Space Social Services

Andy’s solo Christmas Day, the Delaneys’ Boxing Day party, sawdust lessons and will there be telly redemption for Sam?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
08/01/2031m 14s

Celebrity New Mum-Spotting

We’re back! The viewfinder, Bruce Forsyth, the SAS, a murder, and a feminism update.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
07/01/2034m 10s

The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 9

Roy gets hooked on Tetris, goes watch-shopping with Lee Sharpe and is sniffed out by Professor Yaffle at USA 94…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
02/01/2037m 8s

The TFTM Awards 2019

Here's our look back at the best of the year - widows, naps, bargains and more...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
31/12/1921m 58s

The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 8

Jack Walker’s beeping, fizzing fax machine fails to do its job and Kenny Dalglish pursues Roy to Cyprus in an attempt to sue him…    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
24/12/1925m 26s

Star Wars

We talk about the new Star Wars film and some other stuff.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
23/12/1924m 37s

Christmas Is Confusing

The decade-defining football match, a rare shout-out, a secret about Lineker’s house, and a look back at the prediction king’s 2019 efforts.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
20/12/1941m 41s

The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 7

A trip to Jersey, a shallow dive into Bergerac, Sam’s Father’s Day meltdown, and Roy is appalled by his team mates’ homes…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
18/12/1933m 26s

Sam’s Teapot Family

Fraternal rivalry, our countryside podcast retreat, an armed police mix-up, and some film recommendations.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
17/12/1937m 37s

Traffic Light Weirdness

Sunderland duck disappointment, a restaurant fight, Christmas calypso, and a Yuletide star’s festive farewell.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
16/12/1938m 23s

Don’t Fear… Love

An election debrief, night-time toilet trips, and almost killing someone by mistake…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
13/12/1936m 1s

The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 6

We get sidetracked with George Lucas, Sam has a run-in with Rio Ferdinand’s alien advisors, and lots of stuff about hiding from people See you all UPTOWN!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
11/12/1934m 22s

Lake Como Death Plunge

Boris Johnson’s phone-nicking antics, a bit of mailbag and some more Krampus stuff…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
10/12/1939m 31s

Krampus Hate

Double-visiting the services, taking the kids to ‘divorce court’, the weekend’s speedball goal and Santa’s nemesis…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
09/12/1938m 13s

The TFTM Swimming Gala

We debate the merit of public school kids, Sam goes to a celeb birthday party and has a look at Anthea Turner’s fiancé’s hair. Also, predictions.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
06/12/1935m 50s

The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 5

Roy falls foul of Mr Ticket, embraces classic disco, gets familiar with the Forest pitch, power-plays Jack Charlton and sows the seeds of the McCarthy feud…    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
04/12/1931m 11s

Britpop Cashpoint Showdown

More medical chat, a bit of a mailbag delve, a Timbrell tribute act and a bit of #AskSting…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
03/12/1938m 35s

Health Special

We reveal our current ailments, discuss doctor punishment, explore the permasquint, and investigate alleged EPL wrongdoing…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
02/12/1945m 10s

Raven Guts

The Archbishop of Canterbury’s rig, Simon Cowell’s toilet paper, and our search for the EPL’s most beautiful boss…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
29/11/1934m 41s

The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 4

Clough gives Roy his first set of wheels then punches him in the face, but Roy makes up for it with a great night out in Sidetrax in Cork. Plus some stuff about Pinocchio and the Queen’s data systems needs…    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
28/11/1930m 20s

Cockney Computer Game

Why Dolly Parton is better than Ken Loach, Sting’s sex and bargains advice, a racist spider, and some more ghost stuff.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
26/11/1938m 47s

Wolf Cat

The differences between relationships in Milton Keynes and Barcelona, inviting Martin Lewis for dinner, and the best ever football formation  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
25/11/1934m 44s

Unlucky Van Man

Exotic hipster football, reviews of a couple of new films, a book giveaway and some football predicting…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
22/11/1928m 40s

The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 3

Roy displays contempt for his new teammates and is forced to drink milk before a road trip with Brian Clough. Also, we hear from Graeme Souness and George Weah…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
20/11/1928m 12s

Dr Zimmerman’s Sweat Clinic

Recorded live backstage in Cardiff, we reflect on the Prince Andrew interview and, erm, Radiohead...   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
18/11/1924m 18s

Post-Tour Exhaustion

Reflections of our recent live shows, including the kind of people we don’t want to see at them. Plus more Pellegrini angst, and some thoughts about Barry Grant…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
15/11/1931m 25s

The Keane Odyssey 2 – Part 2

Unemployed Roy sinks into a ‘half life’ and becomes obsessed with Neighbours before getting a job eating chocolate, George Weah backs a demolition start-up, and Nottingham Forest come calling…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
13/11/1934m 22s

The Tom & Katy Show

An on-the-road mid-tour episode from Manchester, where we get mobbed by a pair of crazed fans...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/11/1920m 30s

The TFTM Bubble

Tentative plans to take a contract killer on tour, Rupert Murdoch’s panic over Clive Allen’s hair loss, and are you in the 3% or the 97%?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
08/11/1933m 36s

The Keane Odyssey 2 - Part 1

Roy’s origin story begins with Basil Fawlty, a record-breaking breakfast, some mucky books and a love affair with a daytime soap… (nine months old if you're IFS #SubscribeOrPerish)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
06/11/1931m 35s

Give Us A War!

A mailbag delve including some post-Elton reading, dream nonsense, Pancho’s footballing skills, and a mighty TTFN…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
05/11/1934m 20s

A Good Woman

A broken knife update, plans for the TFTM film and video game, along with stuff about The Wall and the football…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
04/11/1941m 26s

Soldering And A Wild Tortoise

Pretty much just that - soldering and a wild tortoise.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
01/11/1935m 30s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 44

This is it - the end. Kev settles his scores with the Cockney Mafia and looks back at a life well and truly lived. Thank you, Electric Mouse.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
30/10/1940m 21s

Frittata Rig Dismantling

Elton John’s many email addresses, a pre-wedding Mexican clap doctor, Sam’s family justice, and van or caravan?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
29/10/1940m 26s

Finding John Jaws’ Kidneys

Shark tips from Sam’s mum, a look back at The Wall, how to do non-sports on radio, and some other stuff…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
28/10/1941m 55s

The Episode Is Operational

We delve into the ghost book again, predict a bit of football, and learn more about Michael Hutchence…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
25/10/1940m 40s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 43

A bit more fruit chat, Debarge, Snoozing Sam, and Kev heads towards the Toon exit (via the kitchen of a London restaurant)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
23/10/1929m 36s

Delaney Was Right All Along

Sam gets some stuff off his chest, plus emails about intimate injuries, an embarrassing reminder and secret teacher games.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
22/10/1939m 5s

‘Give Us Some Readies You Mug!’

A look back at the weekend’s football… but to be honest, it’s mostly about Danny Dyer’s BBC1 gameshow ‘The Wall’.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
21/10/1935m 18s

Johnny 4

Powerday, frozen raspberries, Canning Town, superglue protests, the hardest Beatle, unsuitable films for kids, overbuying pasta, and a little bit of football.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
18/10/1943m 0s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 42

We reveal our fruit Champions Leagues, Kev is forced to buy a player he can’t find on Google and Mike Ashley downs a pint in 12 seconds.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
16/10/1938m 54s

Dumpsite?

The best use of a Lego hand, a local hardman goes too far, neighbour nicknames, a dog-procuring liar, and the half-term school bunny…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
15/10/1933m 33s

‘It’s The Ball Talking!’

Sir John Asda, Sam’s weak spot revealed to Millwall, Desert Island Discs rated, and some more ghost stuff…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
15/10/1931m 22s

No To Space Pies

We discuss baths, moan about our newsletter, dismiss Heston Blumenthal, and argue about Michael Hutchence. (Sign up for our newsletter at https://tftimemachine.com)  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
14/10/1941m 15s

Many Ghosts

Unplanned weekends, spying on Lineker, Coleen v Rebekah, our newsletter, and we delve into the ultimate ghost book.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
11/10/1938m 9s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 41

Thierry Henry’s vanishing coat hanger, Kev cups Shearer in his hands and gets laughed at by the Germans, and Mike Ashley does some ratings.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
09/10/1934m 41s

The Pompeii Stroker

Sam’s second fact, some poetry, some dodgy grass fire activity, some school banter and some other stuff. Includes sexual content.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
08/10/1934m 0s

We Love Facts Now

Curious Nelson Piquet, smashing killer fungi, Janet Jackson, and more.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
07/10/1929m 49s

Winter Attack

How to modify and maximise your bed rig set-up, plus a dad/cat/dog/snake story, Sardinian chaos, and a bit of football chat.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
04/10/1937m 12s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 40

Kev’s Newcastle comeback falls foul of the Cockney Mafia as he tries to sign some of the game’s top stars. Plus night time phone calls and online player bids.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
03/10/1935m 54s

Lineker Toilet Encounter

Another mailbag delve episode - not much else to add really.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
01/10/1939m 19s

Machines We Want To Buy

Sam saves a pizzeria, leprechauns, Frank Lampard’s fair play response, and 136,000 eggs.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
30/09/1936m 26s

Eazy-E’s Admin Day

We reveal our Wu names, admonish certain UK cities, look back AND forward to nuclear armageddon, and predict a few football matches.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/09/1933m 50s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 39

Kev encounters Tony Jiminez – includes internet versus microfiche, the Amazon rain forest and two Mike Ashleys?   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
25/09/1931m 26s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 38

Things grind to a halt at Manchester City as Kev analyses Joey Barton. Then it’s a night drive to London for a meeting with Mike Ashley. Also, napping.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
25/09/1934m 46s

Flaming Maori

Labour #onthecoins, Baby ResultsBot, a burning man, the best tweet ever, and a dramatic way to settle a debt among friends.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
24/09/1938m 25s

Bobby Moore Action Man

Sam gets all excited after a West Ham win, we hail Sky Sports’ football punditry, and experience differing curry fortunes.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
23/09/1938m 56s

The Trudeau/Disney Axis Of Evil

Our plans for the Queen’s death, how to entertain the ponciest authors in Britain, and a bit of football stuff.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
20/09/1935m 8s

How To Get Away With Murder

Shelley, Marc Bolan, Gary Lineker, Dale Winton, a roof dad and more from Yanni’s bar…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
17/09/1936m 57s

Gaming Saturday Kitchen

David Cameron’s return to public life, James Martin’s fireman meltdown, and more from Yanni’s bar ‘Memories’ on the island of Kos…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
16/09/1936m 3s

Fish O'Clock

Some cabbie acting, predictions, a film quiz, napping, a demon-resetting chat with the otters and a frog wedding.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
13/09/1937m 2s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 37

Kev brings in miserable Nicolas Anelka (bemusing Robbie Fowler into the bargain), unleashes Joey Barton on to an unsuspecting world, and gives Richard Dunne his last last last chance.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/09/1936m 10s

Hello Again From London

The final of our cosy backstage chats from our live tour in which we talk about alcoholism and a top gangster’s bodily fluids…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
10/09/1922m 58s

Hello From London

Another backstage episode, with more tales from our hugely successful live tour...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
09/09/1923m 44s

Hello From Glasgow

A mini-episode we recorded before our Glasgow show this evening - let us regale you with tales of life on the road.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
08/09/1921m 43s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 36

Deep vein thrombosis, speeding tickets, Stuart Pearce’s final match, celebrity ant-related gossip, and should Sam and Andy be running the country?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
04/09/1933m 25s

Stamp Stamp!

Activities, balcony sleeping, a middle-aged stand-off, post office dreams, and some football chat…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
03/09/1940m 9s

‘Bonjour… Ca Va?'

More tales from the Delaneys’ all-inclusive compound, including all-day drinking with Cas and Sam losing the plot with a French Liverpool fan.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
30/08/1931m 32s

Thousand Mile Cat Eye

Reports from France and Cyprus, including an unwelcome visitor to the pool, some supermarket molestation and some cat chat…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
29/08/1927m 57s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 35

Kev tries to rid Maine Road of its booze culture. Plus Liam Gallagher, urine, and being drunk when grandma calls round.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
28/08/1937m 17s

2008-2009

Phil Brown scolds his players on the pitch, Man City get super rich, we have a naked night in with Jurgen Klopp, there’s insanity at the Toon, and Fergie gets right inside Rafa’s heid…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/08/1930m 41s

Earth Tournament Inquest

A look back at the England v Morocco final, ResultsBot’s downward slide goes on, widows, Alim Ozturk’s Turkish life, and war in the Delaney family WhatsApp group…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
26/08/1940m 35s

RIP Davy Tiggywinkle

Andy reports some tragic news from Cyprus, the prediction mind games increase, and we hear possibly the ultimate TTFN story…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
23/08/1928m 46s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 34

Kev moans about being England boss, Ron Atkinson’s TV-watching snack, Sam’s West Ham ticket office nightmare and surprising trip to Moscow…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
21/08/1939m 28s

It’s All About The Toppings

A report from our secret compound, a gift for an atrocious criminal, a hot dog challenge, some ratings and some Aquafresh facts…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
20/08/1927m 37s

Brighton Coining

The ‘so what’ penalty, intense German predicting camps, and an encounter with the Coin Mistress during a seaside jaunt…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
19/08/1938m 50s

Bates, Sudoku and the Merry Widow

We finally reveal the identity of Britain’s Best Widow while Sam recounts the late 90’s pursuit of a legendary DJ…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
16/08/1936m 34s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 33

Kev struggles with England as the Pigfaces of Fleet Street work their evil magic on him, in spite of a warning from Monte Fresco. And was Our Price a socialist utopia?   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
14/08/1934m 56s

Delaney v Brandreth

A mailbag delve with some Senor Dis ‘N’ Dat, a lion liar and a local vigilante. Plus a Timbrell update and Joey Barton’s dad.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
13/08/1942m 55s

Rate Your Fingers

Why Gary Lineker equals safety, the new wave of banter, some ratings, a Leniverse update, and we reveal Britain’s Best Widow...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/08/1936m 32s

Premier League Preview

A look ahead at the new season, and also some stuff about Grange Hill deaths and the estate of Sir John Triffid.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
09/08/1929m 13s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 32

Michael Jackson visits Fulham before Kev leaves for England and an ageism crisis. Also, ghost minorities…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
07/08/1934m 47s

Podcast For The Hooch Generation

A mailbag delve, a trip to the Costa Brava with Rocky and Ricky, the introduction of our new game ‘Ratings’, and the spectacular departure of Scratchcard John.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
06/08/1935m 24s

Toxic Masculinity Buns

Len’s alter-egos, fast cars, diffusing football violence, a Budapest rig, and Paul Hollywood…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
05/08/1943m 6s

Chocolating?

Bits of all sorts - coins, rigs, dis, dat, Capes, badgers, work disciplinary, and a thieving stray man. Join our prediction league on the Soccer Saturday Super Six app with code 1PY8SY  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
02/08/1940m 36s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 31

Kev moves to Fulham but we focus mainly on Mohamed Al-Fayed selling lions in Harrods and the magnificence of Ray Wilkins.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
31/07/1933m 37s

The Shanklin Report

Sam brings us tales of coining and car booting on the Isle of Wight, and we discuss Geoff Capes' budgie-breeding motivations...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
30/07/1937m 20s

The Keegan Odyssey – Part 30

KK leaves Tyneside and goes on holiday as the nation mourns. Plus regeneration chat, royal connections and new front door research tips…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
24/07/1934m 20s

Geoff Capes Goes To Davos

The strongest man of all time addresses members of the World Economic Forum. Plus widows’ rigs, crematorium bike lessons and gang rejection.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
23/07/1933m 9s

Pards For Monaco

Alan Pardew, celebrity coins, Steve Bruce and a bit of Sid James. Oh, and an exclusive interview with Sam’s son Len.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
22/07/1936m 13s

Ken S. Elliot

We discuss the new Cats and Top Gun film trailers.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
19/07/1936m 34s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 29

Kev’s Newcastle exit looms into view, Sir John Hall lets the lads use his house while he’s in Spain and there’s a… VIP Stevie Wonder experience…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
17/07/1934m 20s

Badger Stand-Off

A mailbag delve with some fresh Senor Dis ‘n Dat, a toothpaste deep dive, a bit of ‘touchy touchy’ and our plans for the Potato Awards.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
16/07/1939m 13s

The Badger/Stoat/Hawk/Rabbit Axis

Incredible sport, the refuelling habits of druids, England’s Earth Tournament final opponents are revealed, and there’s a magnificent Lewis Collins story…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
15/07/1938m 35s

Franky Stu vs Suus Kiis

John Pigface rings Broadmoor, we learn more about Big Galaxy’s hit TV show ‘Warrior’, there’s some John Timbrell info, and even some football talk…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/07/1938m 32s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 28

KK’s disguise-aided pursuit of Shearer and enabling of Keith Gillespie’s addiction. Plus Les’s Leap, Ginola’s stinking fags, and Asprilla’s gun mayhem.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
10/07/1935m 24s

Human Barbecue

A mailbag delve including some Dis ‘n’ Dat tales, the nature of hotels and the notion of trust, holiday pets, summer fairs, and lots more…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
09/07/1935m 54s

Blame The Alphabet

Updates from England’s semi-final group activities in Earth Tournament and lots of revelations about camp life. Plus… shredding and fire.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
07/07/1935m 50s

Lord Sebastian’s Hotel

Updates from Earth Tournament, Lampard arrives at Chelsea, and why football transfer news stinks.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
05/07/1933m 41s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 27

KK dwells on his Sky Sports outburst for far too long but forgets about Asprilla. He is also the bigger man v Fergie and has a slump instead of a prance.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
02/07/1931m 5s

School Fairs And Narrowboats

Find out what we’ve been up to at schools this weekend, what’s happening to the elephants’ tusks, and why we hate Holland & Barrett…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
02/07/1933m 41s

Kylie's Eggs

Sam's Kylie anecdote was too long to fit into the Monday episode so here it is on its own...  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
01/07/1921m 13s

Big Galaxy v Glastonbury

An episode dominated by England v Argentina at Earth Tournament and Kylie at Glastonbury.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
01/07/1934m 18s

Massive Chip Spoon

An update from Earth Tournament as well as the bird and squirrel scene. Also, we discuss which is more toxic - Archie Buchanan or Instagram?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
28/06/1932m 25s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 26

Ginola makes a pal, Kev sets up a courtroom, Cole moves to the middle of nowhere and then gives up before he is sold, enraging the Toon Army’s soldiers.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
26/06/1936m 43s

Bumcrease

Fresh mailbag action – some Dis ‘n’ Dat, some lies, and plans for a van…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
25/06/1943m 22s

Tramp Hand

An Earth Tournament update and some incredible off-the-pitch revelations, a swimming lesson story, and a citizen’s arrest…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
23/06/1939m 35s

Xos Vin

An Earth Tournament bombshell, some Leniverse team line-ups, and more Senor Dis ‘n’ Dat sightings…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
21/06/1933m 30s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 25

KK and Terry Mac take to the skies more than once, give Andy Cole some laundry tips, and feed some iffy meat to a monster as a mysterious burger van appears at the training ground…   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
19/06/1934m 52s

The Italian Urn

A range of Senor Dis N’ Dat stories from the mailbag, as well as a fight with a homeless man.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
18/06/1929m 2s

Drug-Taking Idiot

How to gain infamy on the Sky News sofa, a mini-dive into Sam’s Father’s Day gift, and a bus-driving courtroom liar…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
17/06/1931m 53s

Earth Tournament 2019 Update

A bonus episode, rounding up all of the Earth Tournament 2019 group stage action and the full draw for the second round. PLUS... an exclusive major transfer announcement.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
16/06/1928m 57s

Nick Knowles’ Self Surgery

An Earth Tournament update ahead of this weekend’s final group matches, Andy’s logistical solutions, and a double whammy of self-defending men. Also, is this all a coma?  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
14/06/1935m 40s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 24

KK plans to capture the imagination of the whole country, we dip a toe into Brian Kilcline’s website, get life lessons from Cottee and Bowie and hear about Rob Lee and the boats.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/06/1937m 43s

Davey The Canoe

Some TV tips, a Cannon Dad offshoot story, Senor Dis & Dat vs a wall, and the internet spies on Sam mid-episode…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
11/06/1940m 26s

Batman's Neck

An update from the Earth Tournament, the Caped Crusader gives up reversing, and news about our next deep dive…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
10/06/1937m 17s

More Imaginary Football Worlds

Some of the deluge of feedback we’ve had from listeners after our groundbreaking previous episode…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
07/06/1931m 52s

Imaginary Football Worlds

This is a long conversation from a Keegan Odyssey recording - but as it’s got nothing at all to do with KK, we’re putting it out as a separate extra episode.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
05/06/1922m 4s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 23

Kev prevents the deaths of thousands of kids, Terry Mac enjoys exotica, Sir John Hall tells the truth and Brian Kilcline’s ponytail is chopped off.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
05/06/1936m 1s

Sports Bag Kebabs

A John Timbrell update, more on Sam v Noel, and loads of chip shop and other fast food horror stories.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
04/06/1936m 20s

Chip Shop Anxiety

On the coins, ghosts, and a whole host of chip-related stories…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
03/06/1935m 26s

The Coin King

Plans for our first West End musical are hatched, Sam reports from the Isle of Wight and we consider a home coin drop experience…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
31/05/1934m 36s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 22

Dirty toilets, arcade strategy, Geordie wincing, the Liverpool boot room washing instruction fact file, and Terry Mac does another prank.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
29/05/1935m 20s

The Hermit

The ‘triggerproof' card, Sam’s experience of working with Jerry Springer, a school ice cream turf war, and a report from a National Trust compound…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
28/05/1943m 3s

Tell Me It!

Weekend World, cream cakes and Sam as the new Tory Prime Minister…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
24/05/1934m 9s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 21

A football theme park, a return to Tyneside, trade fairs, and a burger van walk-out for Kev’s trusty number two…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
22/05/1932m 17s

Incredible Hulk v Tony Macaroni

A beautiful IFS moment, the world’s best school, Brian Walden’s lying history, and the Hulk does kids parties…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
21/05/1939m 16s

Creme Eggs And Gravestones

We plan to sponsor a football team AND launch our Cold War festival. Plus, kicking a footballer when he’s down, and calculating populations using the three ‘F’s   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
20/05/1936m 21s

Man Man

Cosmic ordering, Paul Rudd, filthy stupid dolphins and Andy’s toxic relationship with Sam Allardyce. Shoot for the moon, everyone…  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
17/05/1932m 37s

The Keegan Odyssey - Part 20

Kev gets a mouth-ramming while trying to have a roadside nap, much to John Pigface’s delight.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
15/05/1933m 42s
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