Savage Lovecast

A woman moved into a new house and promptly slept with her roommate. It was great sex and the caller wants a repeat. He claims he wants more as well, but then never actually takes her up on it. One night she asked if he wanted to...you know...do it, and he chose to play video games for 14 hours instead. So.  A veteran of the polyamorous lifestyle would like to push back on the idea that you can sleep with people and avoid catching feelings. It's just not a realistic rule, says this pragmatic lady. What do you think? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Alexandra Petri- humor columnist for the Washington Post. They talk about comedy writing in these dark times, and Alexandra helps answer a question about horny fantasy titles creeping into a woman's bookclub.  A woman is enjoying a friends-with-benefits situation with a man in an open marriage. She's beginning to fall in love with him in fact. But he and his wife are trying to get pregnant, and he has made it clear that the instant they see that pink line, he must switch to friends-only as he focuses on fatherhood. How can the caller protect her heart when she knows this relationship has an expiration date?  How indeed?  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of an amazing amount of shapes and other products that fuel your desires AND make sex easier, better, and longer. Go to LIBERATOR.com and use the promo code “SAVAGE” to save 40% off the best-selling Wedge Ramp Combo. Liberator wants BETTER SEX FOR EVERYBODY, and that starts with YOU. This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage.

A woman's boyfriend wants her to play with his ass. But she doesn't know where to begin. Fingers? Tongue? What should she do down there?  A woman keeps getting harassed by men in cars jacking it and watching her creepily. What can she do in these unpleasant moments? On the Magnum Dan chats with journalist Ben Ryan about the effects of PrEP in gay sex culture. As DAN PREDICTED, with the rise of PrEP use, HIV infections plummeted, but other STIs are on the rise. Are condoms dead? Not so fast.  Finally, a lesbian couple are planning to have children. First one will carry the baby, then it will be the other one's turn for the second child. The mother of the woman who will carry the first baby blurted out that she was excited to be the bio grandmother. The non-bio mom-to-be was offended, and doesn't know how to let it go. When they have their second child will the grandmother love the child as much?  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

A gay man keeps sleeping with non-monogamous, married men, who are ultimately emotionally unavailable. But the sex is great! Why isn't he attracted to single men, hmmmm?  Parenting challenge ahoy! A couple with a blended family are getting along well, except for one thing. The mom's 15 year-old daughter loses her mind when she hears them having sex. She bangs on the wall, and makes retching noises when they kiss or otherwise show affection. How can they (respectfully) shut this behavior down?  On the Magnum, you'll delight in this conversation with Dr. Eric Sprankle, author of the new book, "DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation." Why are so many religions hung up on self-pleasure? Is semen retention good or bad for you? And those cute little fetuses you see on anti-abortion billboards? They're totally spanking it.  And, hear the tale of Willy and Wendy. One wild evening, a woman and her boyfriend had their pal "Willy" over. They did some MDMA, and tumbled into bed together. Then, the texts started coming in from "Wendy," Willy's girlfriend. The caller had assumed that everything would be ok with Wendy, as they must be in an open relationship. Not so! Now, Willy has some explaining to do, and the caller feels real bad.  Q@Savage.Love         206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com/Savage, and use the offer code Space80. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.

For this episode of Sex & Politics, Dan speaks with Rob Henderson, author of "Troubled: A Memoir of Foster Care, Family, and Social Class." Rob's heart-breaking memoir goes into his wrenching childhood, and also his concept of "luxury beliefs," - sanctimonious ideas that the upper classes advocate for, but usually don't follow themselves, and ultimately hurt the poor and working class. Henderson includes non-monogamy as a luxury belief, and as you can imagine, Dan ain't havin' it.  This is a 20 minute taste of Sex & Politics. The Magnum version of this conversation goes on for over an hour- and that's where Dan and Rob go toe-to-toe over traditional vs. open relationships. To hear the rest of the interview, subscribe to the Magnum at Savage.Love. Hear their polite argument, and tell us what you think in the comments!

So, is he gay? The evidence: He likes sucking wieners, anal play, and he has a sex machine that he uses on his butt. Also, he is showing less and less interest in having sex with the caller, and when she asks him about it he responds "Is sex all you care about?"  An anxious cougar is suspicious of the young men who hit on her. Why would they want to be with someone twice their age? She knows she should count her blessings, and her friends all roll their eyes at her discomfort. How can she get out of her head about this and enjoy the youthful dick already?  Our guest this week is Rhaina Cohen, author of "The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center." She and Dan talk about the state of friendship in our culture, how friendship takes a backseat to romantic love, and how we put way too much pressure on our partners to be our everything. A little is on the Micro and all of it is on the Magnum.  "Good girl." That's what he tells her when they're doing a scene. But it's also what she says to her dogs! It takes her right out of the moment. Any other verbiage they could use?  Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of an amazing amount of shapes and other products that fuel your desires AND make sex easier, better, and longer. Go to LIBERATOR.com and use the promo code “SAVAGE” to save 40% off the best-selling Wedge Ramp Combo. Liberator wants BETTER SEX FOR EVERYBODY, and that starts with YOU.

You guys! We are in crisis! There are just not enough hot young women! DO. THE. MATH. A woman is dating a trans woman. Her girlfriend recently got bottom surgery, and wants to try being penetrated with an actual penis, as opposed to a toy. Should the caller allow for an open relationship to accommodate this? Strap in folks, we're unveiling a new extra spicy segment of the show called "What Are you Doing?" Dan reaches out to folks who are doing amazing things in the world of sex, and asks them to please explain. In this first one, Dan interviews adult entertainer Rob Wilde, to explain his kink for saline infusions. Did you know that you could stick a needle in your balls and blow them up to the size of basketballs...for a day? You can! Learn all about it.  And, a woman and her boyfriend are getting creative with medical byproducts. You'll have to listen in to hear how.  Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.

"Ewww! Blood!" That's what her boyfriend says whenever she even mentions her menstrual cycle. Should she try to educate him as to why this is immature and offensive to a lady with lady parts?  Dan has a conversation with a man whose wife is unilaterally opening their relationship. Can their marriage withstand his wife getting a tattoo from her new lover?  On the Magnum, Dan talks to fellow term-coiner Lara Starr, who came up with the name "Sister Ex" to describe the powerful relationship that can emerge when two (or more) ex-girlfriends share notes. And, somewhere, deep in the Deep South, a couple just set up their new hot tub. But they are worried that if they invite friends over to join them it will appear to be a big, sexy swingers move. How can they avoid misunderstandings? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

A 27 year-old divorced woman goes to bars and picks up both men and women. She prefers them to be at least 10 years older because (as everyone knows,) they are better in bed. How can she find people in this age range, and keep their attention? A young, gay hottie hasn't had sex in 2 years because he wants more of a connection than casual hook-ups. But when he does connect, he loses interest quickly. How can he get over his analysis paralysis? Our guest this week is Molly Roden Winter, author of MORE: A Memoir of Open Marriage. She and Dan talk about how our society loses its mind at the thought of women (and especially mothers) exercising sexual autonomy. They talk about the challenges and benefits of polyamory and how to overcome jealousy. A little is on the Micro and the whole thing is on the Magnum. A woman with some kind of special sauce keeps making all the men fall in love with her! She clearly states from the very first date that she isn't looking for commitment. But they cling and they cling. What is she doing wrong? Q@Savage.Love         206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

A woman's 60 year-old dad has taken in a much younger woman of dubious repute. She is a massage therapist, and has been cleaning her father's house. Her father claims that taking her in is just the Christian thing to do. The caller worries her father is being taken advantage of- she and her brother don't like it one little bit. Should she refuse to see her father under he kicks the girl out?  A man has discovered his love for kink later in life. Now he's dating and scaring women away when he says he's a dom on OK Cupid. But he wants to be honest, and the kink sites are too over the top for him. How can he hit the jackpot? On the Magnum, comedian Hope Woodard explains her "Boysober" concept and endeavor. No boys for Hope! She explains why she is choosing to remain boysober for a year, how it's different from celibacy, and how dang hard it is!  And, a caller wants to get in on the sexual neologism racket. Will Dan Savage approve of his new portmanteau?  Spoiler: Nope!  Q@Savage.Love            206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  We’re partnering with NOCD to raise awareness about OCD. Imagine having unwanted thoughts about your relationship stuck in your head all day no matter how hard you try to make them go away. That’s OCD. Breaking the OCD cycle takes effective treatment. Go to NOCD.com/savage to learn more.

Why is it always men that are into foot fetishes?  And speaking of feet, a woman has a pair of fetish shoes that no longer fit. She wants to make sure they go to a loving home, but how?  Our guest this week is Peter McGraw, author of "Solo: Building a Remarkable Life of your Own." In this antidote to Valentine's Day, Dan and Peter talk about how and why more people are choosing to be single these days. We should perhaps give up on the outdated idea that happiness must be bundled with monogamous long term partnership. This is a great conversation- some of it is on the Micro, and all of it is on the Magnum.  And, ever since they had their baby, a man and his wife only have sex in the shower. It's become so routine, he's beginning to dread sex. How can he get his wife to agree to something new? Q@Savage.Love         206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.

A hearty Valentine's Day to all of you freaky, perverted, lovelorn wretches. We begin the show with a humdinger of a call from a man whose wedding night is shaping up to be very special indeed.  A married woman shares a phone with her husband. She notices that the ads served on his Instagram feed are very different from what she sees. He sees AI generated, photo-shopped sex vixens. She's treated to arts & crafts blogs. Is Insta pushing sexual images based on his basic demographic? (Straight dude.) Or does the Algorithm know more about her husband than she does? Dan calls up a social media expert for this one.  On the Magnum, we welcome back intimacy expert Rena Martine to help a caller in her mid 30s who has never had penetrative sex before. Why is she avoiding it? How can she tell future lovers about her mindset, grow into a full sexual life?  And, a bi man has started focusing on men over women. But his dick hasn't gotten the memo. How can he learn to keep his erection for the men he's so attracted to?  Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage.

We are still shocked that Ezra Klein (of the NYT and the Ezra Klein Show) agreed to come on our smutty little podcast. They talked about Ezra's time as a monogamous straight man embedded in San Fransisco's polyamorous culture. They compared the current NYC hipster version of the poly scene vs San Fransisco's meld of tech bros and hippies. And they talk about how the nuclear family is failing as a functional support system. Some of this great convo is on the Micro, and the whole thing is on the Magnum.  Also on this week's show, when a man and his boyfriend go to the gym in their conservative town, he notices that they both "butch up" and quit acting like a couple. How can they learn to act naturally in scary straight spaces?  A woman just had a baby 4 months ago. Her husband went to a bachelor party and got a lap dance. They are just starting to have sex again, but she feels insecure, and has started to eroticize her jealousy in a way that feels unhealthy to her. Complicated! Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

"Enough with the poly! " Or so says this gay man, who is sick of being disrespected by his boyfriend catting around, acting like a no-good cad and using polyamory as a shield.  Meanwhile, can't a homo in the rural West have nice, no-strings-attached hook-ups anymore? All the men he meets want to get married or something.  On the Magnum, Dan brings on comedian Dulcé Sloan from The Daily Show to talk about the perils of dating menfolk. Apparently, it's dangerous out there.  And, a woman's boyfriend used to drink too much and drive drunk. She put the hammer down, and he cut way back on drinking claiming he never gets behind the wheel when he's had a few. But she knows he still drinks with his buddies and lies about how much. She likes a drink now and again. Is she being hypocritical and controlling? Or is his consumption creeping back up to dangerous and out of control?  Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of an amazing amount of shapes and other products that fuel your desires AND make sex easier, better, and longer. Go to LIBERATOR.com and use the promo code “SAVAGE” to save 40% off the best-selling Wedge Ramp Combo. Liberator wants BETTER SEX FOR EVERYBODY, and that starts with YOU.

A man's wife had to quit drinking due to a medical condition. They used to get tipsy and have wild sex. Now that she can't drink the sex has become rote and inhibited. They plan to go on vacation together, but the caller feels that if they can't have their free-wheeling sex, he doesn't want go on vacation at all.  Don't you want to hear Dan's conversation with an adult baby/diaper lover? Yes, yes you do.  On the Magnum, a gay man is looking for the most penis-like sex toy he can find that doesn't leak toxic, hormone-disrupting chemicals. Dan brings on our resident sex toy expert, Erika Moen to go over the possibilities. And...pineapples! What do they REALLY mean? Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage

A gay man's best friend has such a devastating crush on him, that they can't be friends anymore. The caller begged him to try to get over it. But crushes are crushing. Is there anything this (platonically) jilted caller can do?  Here's the scenario: A straight, divorced woman starting dating a *wonderful* man, and they started seeing each other exclusively. He really is spectacular. But then she received a message on Instagram from a woman claiming to be his other girlfriend, who also thinks she's dating him exclusively. He promised to fly straight, stop the lying and stick with the caller. She notices that he has a Snapchat account that he uses suspiciously. He gets calls from other women all the time. He has kids from a previous marriage, but he hasn't told his children about her. Guess why he got divorced. He was cheating all the time! Here's the heart-breaking punchline to this call: Her question is- how can she learn to get over her paranoia and just trust this guy?  On the Magnum, here's an etiquette question: Is it appropriate for a dominatrix to command her subs to buy her costumes and gear? That stuff ain't cheap. Dan brings on the formidable dominatrix Inanna Justice to talk about the things we can and can't ask our subs to do for us.  And a woman is the secondary in poly relationship. She is grieving the fact that she will never get to live with him and experience the mundane intimacies of a primary relationship. Ah, to fold his laundry, just once!  Q@Savage.Love       206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

Happy Feast of the Ass for all who celebrate! A gay man is fed up with the guys who try to use the gym as their personal hook-up site. When the leering moves into harassment, should he tell management? Or is this just to be expected in gay male spaces?  A recently divorced straight man is hot to trot. He dates casually, but catches feelings so soon, that he scares off the women. How can he learn to take it slow?  On the Magnum, we are delighted to welcome Damona Hoffman back to the show. Listen in as these titans of the dating advice world chitty-chat, spar and dish it up together. Hoffman's new book "F THE FAIRY TALE: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story" is all about the myths we believe about dating, and how to cultivate a more realistic, successful approach to finding people.  And, a gay man hooked up with a much older man (with a giant penis, incidentally.) The man asked the caller if he would be into some BDSM. The caller has never been interested in kink, especially with someone he barely knows. But could "maybe, eventually" get there? How can he communicate his reticence, and still leave the door open, just a crack? Heh heh. Crack.  Q@Savage.Love.  206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.

A German lesbian was propositioned by a younger grad student. (This sounds like a porno but it's not.) The grad student was raised in a conservative environment, and it's the first time she's ever spoken of her female attraction. They only have a month before they both move away. Should the caller get down with the girl or restrain herself? In a very different call, a gay man has applied for a job at the church he used to volunteer for when he was much younger. Why did he quit, you ask? The clergyman he worked under sexually assaulted him, and then spread lies about him when the caller refused to go along with it. The caller doesn't know how to explain this to the church leadership today. And they will ask questions... On the Magnum, the queer podcasting stars align, as Dan brings on McKenzie Goodwin and Rachel Scanlon of "2 Dykes and a Mic." Obviously, they had a lot to talk about. Queer joy. Trans women in lesbian spaces. Pronouns. Getting "hermed." We love these two dykes with all our might, and so will you. Finally, a woman used to enjoy anal sex with her ex-boyfriend. But her fiancé of 7 years has a big ole beer can, and she can't fit that thing in without having to tap out instantly. Are there any techniques she can use to learn to enjoy butt stuff? She did the right thing! She asked Dan and so can you.  Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

A lesbian has a terrible bullshit detector. She keeps falling for lies and getting conned. How can our credulous heroine protect herself from lying liars?  A man and his ex- girlfriend are utterly estranged. She has cut off all contact from him. But he noticed that she is still using his Netflix password. What's more, he can see what she's watching and when. He doesn't mind letting her mooch off his subscription, but it feels like an invasion of her privacy to see what she's viewing. His question is whether he should also stop paying for her Magnum subscription to the Lovecast for the same reason. And since she's a power Lovecast fan, she will definitely hear this... On the Magnum, Jen Hecht of Building Healthy Online Communities works with dating apps to inspire a more polite, and healthy dating scene. Her org worked with app companies to craft messages urging gay men to get the monkeypox vaccine. She and Dan talk about her work and strategies to be successful on the apps.  And, it's the OTHER WOMAN! A few weeks ago, Dan chatted with Amy and April from "Shameless Sex" to counsel a man whose primary partner asked him to shut down his new relationship after they opened up. Now they are forbidden from communicating, but the other woman isn't forbidden from calling a sex & relationship advice podcast that she knows he listens to... You wanna talk to me? Just talk to me:  Q@Svage.Love   206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

For this very special Sex & Politics, we invite you to leave your earthly cares behind and explore with us what sex would be like...in space!  It turns out, it will be terrible. Dr. Kelly and Zach Weinersmith, authors of "A City on Mars," are on to talk about the difficult logistics of both recreational and procreational sex on Mars. Learn about a sex test using geckos, the "snuggle tunnel," and, how we must use the "rocket equation" to answer Dan's question: "How far can you shoot a load in space?" Would monogamy or polyamory best suit life on the red planet? YOU WILL FIND OUT.  Although it might seem sexy for Elon Musk to rule mars (to Elon Musk,) Zach warns us that "Space is a giant superfund site that is also trying to kill you with psychics." Not so hot.  This is a very fun convo, so Santa is giving it to Magnum and Micro listeners alike. Happy holidays, friends.

Dick pic backfire! When a woman received an image of her sexting partner's wiener, she was distressed to see small white bumps adorning his penis. Could it be HPV? That's bad, right? Should she tell him? Does he know already?  Ah, the folks you'll meet online...A woman connected with a man via Tinder who claimed to have regular vacation sex with his mother. She then found a Reddit community full of folks all claiming the same thing. Is this real? Do we have to date men who have sex with their mothers now?  On the Magnum, welcome to the seedy, shady and lucrative world of the NoFap movement. In this "What You Got," Dan interviews neuroscientist and sex researcher Dr. Nicole Prause who analyzed the violent culture of the men who are convinced that masturbation drains them of their masculinity.  A trans woman is a switch. She can be the dom, she can be the sub. But she usually ends up domming because of the general shortage of doms. How can a trans gal get tied up already?  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

A married gay man endured a sexless relationship for 10 long years... until he didn't. After cheating, he is getting a divorce. But now the caller feels villainized, as his ex-husband spins the story out to their friends. How can he avoid being painted as the bad guy?  A dad just got a delicious Prince Albert piercing. How can he explain this new jewelry when his young son sees it?  On the Magnum: when your career focuses on education around sexually transmitted infections, you are a very busy lady. Dan brings back the ever-informative Dr. Ina Park to talk about home remedies for herpes, PrEP for women and other questions relating to the modern plagues.  And, when introverts marry extroverts: Sometimes it works perfectly. But this alpha female wishes her man would make some friends already.  We are your best friends. Call us up! 206-302-2064 Q@Savage.Love This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of an amazing amount of shapes and other products that fuel your desires AND make sex easier, better, and longer. Go to LIBERATOR.com and use the promo code “SAVAGE” to save 40% off the best-selling Wedge Ramp Combo. Liberator wants BETTER SEX FOR EVERYBODY, and that starts with YOU. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

When drunk friends pounce! A happily married, monogamous man went to a concert with his gal pal. But she arrived so drunk, staggering around and embarrassing herself, that he had to bundle her in a car and get her home. But she made sloppy moves on him, and although it's been a long time, he can't let it go or fully forgive her. Should he confront her? Will she even remember?  A man has been hanging out with and flirting with a woman, letting the sexual tension build. But he and his ex are beginning to talk again, and he thinks they will get back together. How can he tell his friend/crush to cool her jets when nothing has even been acknowledged?  On the Magnum: Ah the perils of being in the "sex space." People think that because you write or podcast about sex that you're down for anything with anyone. Dan and April & Amy from "Shameless Sex" had a LOT to talk about. Like, why step-porn can be empowering for women, why cuddle puddles aren't for everyone and, hear the odd tale of the choking masseuse.  And read their book!  Shameless Sex: Choose Your Own Pleasure Path to Unlock the Sex Life You've Been Waiting For. And, a woman's husband confessed that he had cheated on her a few times before they got married. Now they are open, and she gets way more action than he does. But she's still angry that he cheated on her long ago. Is this an relationship extinction level event? Or can she just write it off already? Ya'll already know the answer, dontcha? Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld for free, and get access to a free month of Majestic Membership when you go to feeld.co/savage Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage

When telling a hook-up that you don't want to continue seeing them, how much detail should you give? A woman enjoyed the sex with her quickie guy, but he was too insecure and needy for her tastes. Should she tell him this in the exit interview?  A lesbian was terribly bullied in school by three mean girls. She moved to Europe, came out and got her life together. One of the mean girls has been messaging her and flirting, asking her out for drinks for when she visits. So, to put it bluntly, should the caller fuck the shit out of her bully over Thanksgiving?  On the Magnum: Are you the parent of a horny teen? Or a soon-to-be horny teen? Talking to them about sex can be daunting. Dan brings on Dr. Debby Herbenick, author of "Yes Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Teens and Sex." They talk about access to porn, social media, and when your three-year-old wanks at daycare.  A woman and her best friend went to a party and used some undisclosed substances. The friend then told the caller she was in love with her and that they should get married someday. The caller is intrigued, but she's already married! Was the friend serious? Should she risk her marriage? Was her friend rolling on Molly and would have declared her love to a toaster?   Declare your love to us.  Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 25% off all mattress orders AND A FREE BEDROOM BUNDLE for our listeners in honor of Cyber Monday! The bundle includes 2 free pillows as well as a set of sheets and a mattress protector. Go to Helix Sleep.com/SAVAGE and use code HELIXPARTNER25. This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.

A pansexual woman and her new lover got an unpleasant surprise...gonorrhea! But nothing makes sense. They had both tested negative and he claimed he wasn't sleeping with anyone else. Did she get it from her sex toys? What happened here?  A woman was messing around with a married man for a while. He always closed his eyes during sex, and never wanted her to talk. He even covered her mouth once when she tried to speak. She broke it off, but wonders what was going on in his tortured mind.  On the Magnum: Getting ready to hunker down with difficult relatives over Thanksgiving? Take a deep breath (and the sedative of your choice) and listen to this interview. Dan brings on wholesome Marriage and Family Therapist Vienna Pharaon. Her book "The Origins of You: How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love" is on point. With imperfect family members who aren't evil, but aren't great, how can we be in relationship with them while meeting them as they are? And how can we protect ourselves from the truly toxic ones? (You'll hear the bone chilling tale of the Evil Granny.)  And speaking of family, a man and his girlfriend are at a familiar crossroads. He wants kids and she does not. Should they break up? Keep talking endlessly about it? Cobble together an open relationship of some kind? Dan has some unconventional but pragmatic advice.  Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld for free, and get access to a free month of Majestic Membership when you go to feeld.co/savage This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of an amazing amount of shapes and other products that fuel your desires AND make sex easier, better, and longer. Go to LIBERATOR.com and use the promo code “SAVAGE” to save 40% off the best-selling Wedge Ramp Combo. Liberator wants BETTER SEX FOR EVERYBODY, and that starts with YOU.

Cock blocked...by his own sister?! A man and his sister are very close, living in the same town. He developed a crush on one of her friends, but she forbade him from asking her out. The sister used to date his friends now and again, which he encouraged. Should he risk angering his sister and ask the girl out already? A woman is interested in trying anal sex. Does she have to change her diet in order to prepare for the big night?  On the Magnum, feel like throwing a party? How about a SEX PARTY? Dan brings on Ali Bushell, therapist and author of "The Sex Party Handbook" to help make your pervy party a success. What should the ground rules be? How to deal with over or under-confidence amongst your guests? How and when should you kick someone out? Bushell sounds like a very charming host indeed. Check him out at Alibushell.com and listen to his podcast, The Healer's Guild. A lesbian preschool teacher has to work with an outspoken, anti-gay, conservative Baptist. Although they generally get along, when she starts spouting bigoted nonsense, the caller feels uncomfortable. She hates confrontation. Should she speak up, rat her out, or put up with it?  Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get 20% off ALL mattress orders and 2 free pillows at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE, and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.

A midwife has recently learned that people who were born with a tongue-tie might have trouble giving oral sex later in life. Should she advise new parents to get their newborns surgery on their itty-bitty little baby tongues?  A woman has started crying during sex, and not the joyful release kind of crying. She has no history of trauma or abuse. So why does sex bring on such unhappy feelings?  On the Magnum, musical theater nerds rejoice! This one's for you. Dan brings on writer and actress Julie Klausner to GEEK OUT about her amazing show "Schmigadoon!" Dan and Julie hold hands and skip through the fields of Oklahoma, Chicago, Pippin and Godspell. They also manage to advise a man who wonders if his enjoyment of self-stimulation with a dildo makes him gay.  And a frequent caller is confused about the use of she/her pronouns for drag queens. Aren't they still guys? Dan brings his lived experience to the discourse.  Bring YOUR lived experience to the Lovecast: Send in your recorded question or comment to Q@Savage.Love or call 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

A woman's casual partner like to sext her before they meet up. He tends to obsess over the things she's told him she won't do. Is he pushing her boundaries intentionally, trying to get to "Yes," or is he just fantasizing? In any case she wishes he would knock it off.  A gay man wonders if it's ok to take performance enhancing drugs so he can accommodate the horny twinks in his dungeon.  On the Magnum, Dan chats with TikTok dreamboat Connor Clary from the Five Star Review podcast. There's nothing Connor won't review, including pumpkin spice lattes and the horny squirrels in his backyard. Dan plays him a call from a listener embroiled in a petty fight over a $30 dehydrator and Connor gives it 6 out of 5 stars for the drama.  And, the straight women are clamoring for advice from the master: How to properly deep throat (while setting some necessary boundaries,) and how to learn to enjoy anal. Dan, being Dan, drops the wisdom.  Q@Savage.Love.    206-302-2064 Five Star Review linktr.ee/connorclary This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  This is episode is brought to you by Mobile Care Health. Mobile Care Health provides judgement free care to all. Start today with a telehealth consult at Mobilecarehealth.com. Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

Is there a homo bro code? A man hooked up with his casual boyfriend’s roommate. Then the boyfriend moved away and they broke up peacefully. Now the caller is worried about resuming his hook-ups with the roommate for fear his ex’s friends will find out and revolt. Does this happen in gayland? A woman is willing to indulge in hot-wifing to please her husband. She met a new guy, but finds she gets so worked up and horny that it eats up all the headspace in her already busy life. How can she learn to chill out and sleep with another dude already? On the Magnum, Dan speaks with Alicia Roth Weigel, intersex rights activist and author of “Inverse Cowgirl.” They talk about what it means to be intersex, how there may be many more intersex people in the population than we assumed, and how humans are on a gender/sexuality spectrum. Don’t miss this one.  A queer woman and her girlfriend have been together for 15 years and they raise a child together. Their relationship has always been open, but the caller’s partner only dated men…until now. She has fallen in love with another woman who lives far away. This creates a logistical burden, as she has to leave the caller alone with the kid when she goes to visit, not to mention the emotional threat this new woman brings. The caller does not want a new lover to be a part of her kid's upbringing. The partner does. Oy vey! Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064 Find Alicia Roth Weigel on Instagram at xoxy_alicia.

A masochistic woman is happily paired with her sadist. They both love it when he bites her. But lately, she’s become more sensitive, maybe because she stopped taking hormonal birth control. In the past few sessions, she had to use her safe word and he’s beginning to sulk. How can they get back to the rough love bites they both crave? 33 eggs: That’s how many of a woman’s eggs are sitting in a test tube somewhere, awaiting fertilization. She is in her mid 30s, and is about to marry her 42 year-old boyfriend. Neither of them particularly want kids, but they might someday. How can she tell if she’ll ever want children?  On the Magnum, Dan speaks with French philosopher and author Manon Garcia about her new book “The Joy of Consent: A Philosophy of Sex.”  A gay man in his 40s isn’t very close to his 18 year-old nephew. But now that the boy has come out, the caller wonders if he should reach out with some avuncular advice about PrEP, monkeypox and other adult subject he’ll need to know as a gay man.  Q@Savage.Love          206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.

A man’s dad is deeply, absurdly closeted. He has been married to the caller’s mother for decades, but could never admit the truth. Now the caller’s mom has dementia and angrily brings it up to shame her husband in front of her sons. Should the caller tell his dad that he knows he’s gay? Should he tell his mother to stop being so cruel?  Hear the agonizing tale of the woman whose boyfriend of 3 months ghosted her without explanation. Spooky.  Our Magnum guest this week is Bryan Safi from the “Attitudes” and “Groceries” podcast. Is there anyone more quick witted than Bryan Safi? No, there is not. He and Dan talk about dick slapping (normal!) a worrisome humorlessness amongst young gay men, and whether being a dom makes you a misogynist, white supremacist. (Spoiler: It doesn’t.) Look! Look at Bryan! https://www.instagram.com/bryansafi/ And, a woman got all gussied up for her Hinge date at a nice restaurant. At the last minute he asked if she would like to just come over to his place instead. Is this poor behavior common? Acceptable? Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get 20% off ALL mattress orders and 2 free pillows at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE, and use the offer code Savage.

A man has discovered his love for wearing feminine clothing. His friends and fiancé are all supportive. But his brother- not so much. Should the caller just expect to move through the world offending people with his unconventional dress?  A gay transman has started having kinky hookups. Although he doesn’t want the intimacy associated with “after-care” he does need a little TLC after the more rough encounters. How can he give that to himself? On the Magnum, Dan speaks with infectious disease specialist Dr. Oliver Bacon, Medical Director of the San Fransisco City Clinic, about Doxy-PEP as a means for STI prevention. Along with PrEP, gay sexual health has much improved. They also talk about poppers: How do they work, and how safe are they?  A woman has an old friend from college who she’s mostly lost touch with. She heard through the grapevine that her kid is exploring their gender identity. Should the caller reach out and offer encouragement even though they never talk these days?  Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

A 24 year-old single woman wants to learn how to perform dirty talk, but she has no one to practice on. How can she learn the dark art?  A woman is newly out of her bad relationship, and into a joyful era of slutting around. She’s happy as a clam, but when her parents ask about her love life, they treat her like a sad spinster. How can she explain that she’s doing JUST FINE without going into too much detail? On the Magnum, have you heard of the movie “Caligula?” It was a 1979 film produced by Penthouse Magazine’s Bob Guccione and packed with stars from the day like Malcom McDowell Peter O’Toole, and Helen Mirren. And it freaked everyone out! Due to its sexual and violent content, it was the only movie that Roger Ebert walked out of. And now…it’s back! Dan brings on writer and artist Thomas Negovan to talk about how he gained access to the original footage, recut it and made the Caligula that everyone wants to see. (It played at this year’s Cannes Film Festival, so.) Would you like to hear about this? Subscribe to listen in.  And, a woman’s in-laws are threatening to descend on her home for Thanksgiving. Not only will the guest list increase to a whole new level, but they all love to watch football, which the caller detests. She likes to spend the holiday with her own family one-on-one. How can she prevent this disaster?  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get 20% off ALL mattress orders and 2 free pillows at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE, and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

We start the show with two ass-tastic calls! A domme woman has a pet boy who wants to eat things out of her butt. He suggests licorice. Any ideas for safe food items to be served out the back? And, another woman jokingly asked her husband to eat the dried mango slices he so adores off her ass. When he complied, she discovered that she really, really liked it. How can she get him to keep doing it, even though she knows it’s terribly weird?  A lovely, curvy woman in Paris can’t find men to date her because of an anti-fat bias amongst French men. Should she move to another city?  Our guest this week is Tawny Lara. She is an advice columnist better known as “The Sober Sexpert” and author of Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze. She and Dan talk about the massive brain hack it takes to get clean and discover sex/dating without alcohol. A little of this conversation is on the Micro, and all of it is on the Magnum.  And, a sugar baby wonders if she should ask her much older sugar daddy to get a face lift.  We just can’t make this stuff up.  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld for free, and get access to a free month of Majestic Membership when you go to feeld.co/savage

A woman is enjoying a new friends-with-benefits relationship. She booked them an airBnB, but he had to cancel because his mother had a stroke. Now she feels insecure about him. Should she keep reaching out to try to make the tryst happen? Or wait and give him space? Is he lying about his mother?  A sub, masochist woman is into intense head-trips with her dom online-only play partner. He went too far into violent story-telling until she had to end the session. He responded kindly and appropriately with after-care. But now she wonders if he’s a genuinely bad person.  On the Magnum, Dan chats with culture & lifestyle writer Darshita Goyal about the Facebook group phenomenon “Are we dating the same guy?” Is this an empowering whisper network for women? Or an on-ramp to cyber-bullying?  A woman and her boyfriend are in an open relationship where they are each allowed to have sex with other people, but sleepovers are verboten. He got together with a hottie and she ended up sleeping at his house because he didn’t have the heart to wake her up and send her packing. He violated their rules, but are the rules too harsh?   Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064 Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get 20% off ALL mattress orders and 2 free pillows at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE, and use the offer code Savage.

We open the show with two questions from people who think they are aromantic. One of them is a woman with two sweet boyfriends, but worries she’s not giving each of them what they deserve. The other is a gay man who has never felt the jolt and tingle of new love. Will he ever be swept off his feet?  Our caller is starting a female-only book club reading works by, for and about women. A male friend of hers offered to be their naked servant, making drinks and offering snacks to the clothed attendees. The caller is delighted to make this happen, but there’s a hitch… On the Magnum, we suspect that some of you might have Relationship OCD. Dan interviews Sheva Rajaee who literally wrote the book about it. They talk about how we put irrational expectations on relationships (the myth of “The One” for example ) and how anxiety can govern our romantic lives rather than good ole intuition.  And, a man has a big, big crush on his co-worker. She is crushing right back. However! She is married with 4 little kids. Their industry is high-pressure, unique and they work closely together. They haven’t consummated their attraction for each other yet. But for how long can he live in limbo?  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.

A transman is under deep cover in his hostile, misogynistic, anti-queer work environment. And what’s more, one of his co-workers is probably a closet case who has a crush on the caller! Complicated! Dangerous! A straight man has become dependent on anal sex in order to come. Did porn hijack his erotic life? His previous girlfriend was into it, but how can he find another willing partner? On the Magnum, Dan brings on Sex Therapist Claire Perelman to talk about some of the problems that plague couples. Like, infidelity, threeways and pooping in the shower. She handles Dan Savage’s world with grace.  And, a woman doesn’t mind the dick pics. It’s when the photo includes sex with another woman that has her irked. Was the other woman consenting to have her picture shared? Who knows? Why do men do this?  Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Beducated, the leading platform for pleasure-based sex education for adults. Go to https://beducate.me/pd2328-savage  and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 40% off.  Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

“Son, I’m open.” A gay man has a great relationship with his son. They hang out together, and the son drops by all the time. The caller has a boyfriend who also get along with his son. But what the son doesn’t know, is that they have an open relationship, so sometimes the caller welcomes other men into his house. What if his son drops by then? Should he explain his open relationship ahead of time? A woman’s boyfriend proposed to her in a public, grand gesture. She hated it. They had never discussed marriage before, and the caller is skeptical of both weddings and the concept of wedlock. She said yes, only to avoid causing a scene. What now? Should she rescind her “yes?” Or negotiate with her clueless puppy dog of a fiancé? On the Magnum, let’s reconsider trigger warnings, shall we? Dan and journalist Jill Filipovic talk about her piece in the Atlantic “I Was Wrong About Trigger Warnings.” She and Dan talk about how content warnings are often nothing more than performative virtue signaling, and water down the times when they are genuinely necessary and useful. Agree, disagree, or agree to disagree.  And, a woman found out that her ex from 10 years ago got married. She had been carrying a torch for him this whole time. Although her pal knew she harbored these feelings, she still sent the caller photos from his wedding, and the caller is furious with her friend for doing so. It ruined her vacation! How to move on? Q@Savage.Love.  206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now for Veteran’s Day, get 25% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE, and use the offer code HelixPartner25.

A woman hooked up with a seemingly nice guy. She asked him to wear a condom, and he said he did. But after he left, she couldn’t find evidence of the condom- no wrapper, nothing. Did he stealth her? Should she call him and ask?  Ureaplasma: What’s this fresh new STI? Dan is stumped, so he brings on Dr. Ina Park, his go-to expert on sexually transmitted diseases.  On the Magnum, Dan chats with Shallelujah the twitch streamer with a sexy, sexy voice. They talk about parlaying a great voice (and mic) into a career, pleasing the pup community and coming out as bi in the gamer world.  And, what’s the matter with this damn cock ring?! When he was younger, it fit him like a glove. Now it’s too loose. Can steel cock rings stretch, or does Occam’s razor point to a different conclusion?  Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

Oh Lordy, hear the tale of the twisted teen! He’s been sneaking into neighbors’ houses and stealing their sex toys, including some from elderly women. How dangerous is this kid? Should someone call the cops? How can his long-suffering mother correct him and end this behavior? What do you do when you’re disgusted by your girlfriend squirting? What do you do when you’re repulsed by your boyfriend coming in your mouth? Two separate calls, one conundrum.  On the Magnum, Dan and Atlantic writer Faith Hill confront the misconception that rebound relationships are inferior or doomed. Hill brings up research showing that rebounds can help people heal from break ups and often blossom into long term relationships themselves.  A TOTAL NERD (with a girlfriend) has built himself a makeshift sex robot. Using a fleshlight, VR goggles and maybe paperclips, the caller wonders if jacking it into this bride of Frankenstein is an act of infidelity.  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

“Goodbye son, I’m off to Kink Camp!” A gay caller’s dad got divorced, came out as poly, and won’t shut up about it. He introduces the caller to all the girlfriends and brags about his various exploits. Our poor caller doesn’t want to hear the various details. How can he set some reasonable boundaries with his horndog dad?  A woman’s spiritual leader is a Buddhist who leads meditation and holds counseling sessions. He’s 20 years her senior, and she thinks he’s kind of hot. He sent her some photos of a burlesque event that he went to including a stripper on a pole. The caller is conflicted. She knows this was inappropriate, but she kind wants to sleep with him anyway.  On the Magnum, Dan enlists a pro to help with some tricky questions. A three-way goes horribly wrong, when the man of the trio busts out humiliating insults to his partner without warning or consent. A woman has to clean up the estate of her departed father, only to find his porn collection. Dan brings on couples and sex therapist Leslie Sherman to wade into the morass.  And, a new father of TRIPLETS is horrified when the little buggers grab at his nipples. He normally enjoys nipple stimulation, but now it’s freaking him right out.  Q@Savage.Love   206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

When it comes to love, never ever give up. Unless you really, really should. A woman has been crushed out on her best friend for years. Each time she asks if he feels the same, he gives her an unequivocal “No.” Should she keep pestering him?  Continuing in the theme of delusions, a caller heard that semen can prevent hair loss, and anecdotally noticed that his stomach does have quite a lot of hair, right on the target. Dear listeners, he’s been rubbing his own spunk on his head. Will it work? Dan enlists the help of dermatology professor Dr. S. Max Vale to either confirm or deny the efficacy of this practice.  More science! On the Magnum, it’s a “What You Got?” with evolutionary biologist Dr. Matilda Brindle. Her paper explores masturbation among primates, how ding-dang common it is, and how it might protect against pathogens. Dan approves.  Ok. So she fucked her friend, even though he has a girlfriend and they are supposed to be monogamous. Once the girlfriend found out, she banished her boyfriend to sleep at the home base of their friend group, until he is forgiven. But our caller isn’t allowed to come over, and now she doesn’t have any friends. She feels like she is being punished and ostracized- but she isn’t the one who broke a monogamous commitment. NOT FAIR.  Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

See you next week on July 25!

Every day a certain number of people learn about sounding. Our first call is from one of these people and he has some questions. Are you next? Listen in.  A woman with chronic illness and pain has a calm, pragmatic attitude about her condition. But how can she roll this out to new partners, and when?   On the Magnum, do you have a dick, or love someone who has one? Then this is the show for you! Dr. Ashley Winter, our urologist pal is on (with her newborn baby occasionally chiming in,) to answer some broken or ailing penis questions. Bent dicks, numb dicks, hard dicks, softs dicks- she’s seen them all. Did you know that doctors love penis pumps? They do! They’re good for you! You know what’s bad though? Putting your penis in a vacuum. Consider yourself warned.  And, listen to Dan’s conversation with a man who has been enjoying a stable poly foursome for 5 years…until now.  Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064 Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Beducated, the leading platform for pleasure-based sex education for adults. Go to https://beducate.me/pd2328-savage   and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 40% off.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

Happy birthday America, damn you’re kinky! This week’s show features a ton of calls by the kinky, those who love them, or those who are considering becoming them. Let’s dive in.  A woman and her bestie are no longer speaking to each other. Why? Because she refuses to help change out the caller’s labia piercing jewelry.  A switch woman (she can either be the dom or sub,) isn’t into humiliation. But all her partners assume she is or try to push her into it. How can she be clear about this simple hard no?  On the Magnum, it’s Mollena a.k.a “the Perverted Negress” or “The Kink Doula.” She and Dan talk about how to get started with S&M gradually, how doms have feelings too, and the rookie mistake of assuming your sub is willing to be a 24/7 slave. Until you do some planning and negotiation, you don’t just get a free laundress.  A woman lives in a community that has a lot of traumatized war veterans and refugees. She is into varsity level rough sex. She recently demanded that her lover hit her harder even though she already had a black eye. Is she some kind of monster?  Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

A woman and her husband have quit drinking. Hooray! But now that he’s sober he no longer feels comfortable getting pegged. Boo! How can he lower his inhibitions without the liquid courage? Dan chats with a woman who finally convinced her boyfriend to tell her about his secret, deep, dark, unrealizable fantasy. She and Dan problem-solve how to make it all work for him. Lucky lad… On the Magnum, just when you thought Pride month couldn’t get any gayer, Dan chats with Manuel Betancourt, author of The Male Gazed. They talk about the lasting impact of hiding your sexuality when you most want to express it, performing masculinity, wrestling singlets and a ton more.  A transman has fallen in love with his best friend- a tranwoman. They had great sex, but the friend isn’t ready to be in a sexual relationship with the caller. How can he get over his heartbreak? He feels like she is the only one who truly understands him.  We understand.  Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064

Ah. The old jiz-on-the-couch problem. This time it’s a 13 year-old boy just learning about the wonders of his youthful body. His mother wishes he would learn about socks and tissues.  We’ve been hearing the word “narcissistic” hurled at exes a lot these days. But it is a genuine psychiatric disorder, and a rare one. Dan chats with Rebecca Fishbein who wrote an article in Bustle about therapy-speak and how it’s been weaponized lately.  On the Magnum, Dan brings back sociology professor Dr. Kelsy Burke to talk about her new book- The Pornography Wars. They talk about the many enemies arrayed against porn throughout history, how porn and porn addiction get defined, and they advise a caller on whether he should tell his jealous girlfriend that he occasionally watches homemade porn of his exes.  And, somehow a gay man in the South doesn’t know if there are apps that help people in open relationships meet and get laid.  Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. This episode is brought to you by Beducated, the leading platform for pleasure-based sex education for adults. Go to  https://beducate.me/pd2328-savage     and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 40% off.

They are a butch, gender-queer AFAB, kinky pervert. As such, they love going to sex parties. Their boyfriend meanwhile, is straight, vanilla and family oriented. Their relationship is open, and he’s found a lass he wants to bone down with. But the caller doesn’t want him to! It’s a complicated situation, and Dan is here to help.  Next up, Dan chats with a caller whose new dom demands that she shave off all her body hair for an erotic “inspection.” But she’s a feminist and has issues with this request. Should she do it? Did she do it? Hear their convo and find out.  On the Magnum, have you heard of “compersion?” Our spell check program sure hasn’t! It comes to us straight from poly-land. It’s “the positive emotion one feels when one sees their partner with another person.” Our guest this week is Dr. Marie Thouin, an expert on the concept. She and Dan discuss how compersion and jealousy can coexist, how it differs from cuckolding, and how long until San Fransisco is one giant polycule? Finally, a woman is in the 3rd trimester of her pregnancy and the sex is getting weird. What changes can they make to improve their sex life? Oh honey. You have no idea.  Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

A straight man detests condoms with all his heart. Even the thought of putting on one of those rubbers makes him deflate like the ears on a 2-day-old balloon rabbit. Is this a fetish of some kind? It prevents him from having sex and it’s bumming him out.  There seems to be a fair bit of confusion about silicone sex toys and lube. Can silicone lube harm silicone sex toys? Or do they love each other so much? Dan hops on the phone with Searah Deysach from Chicago’s Early to Bed sex toy store, to set the record straight.  On the Magnum, things get heavy with a slew of questions concerning sexual abuse and trauma. Consider yourself trigger-warned. Dan brings on Dr. Leila Wood, a researcher and social worker at Austin’s Center for Sexual Violence Prevention. They talk about how to support a friend in an abusive relationship, the difficulty partners can have in playing the “villain” in erotic contexts and how kinky sex can be profoundly healing.  Finally, why all the hate for Mother’s Day? Can’t we all just get along?  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 Foria Wellness Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage Helix Sleep This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get 20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. Talkspace This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

A woman feels guilty that she’s only interested in tall men. How can she weed out the little fellas?  Our guest this week is author Matt Baume, to discuss his fantastic book “Hi Honey, I’m Homo,” which looks at queer history through the lens of old TV shows. Shows like Soap, Bewitched and All in the Family grappled with gayness in secret and overt ways that reflect the historical context of when they aired. And because this is the Savage Lovecast, Dan makes Matt answer a question about fucking trees. Some of the convo is on the Micro and all of it is on the Magnum.  A man plans to propose to his girlfriend. His mom died when he was very young, leaving behind a diamond in his dad’s care. His dad really wants him to give this diamond to his fiancé, but the caller doesn’t want to. What should he do?  And, a woman is begging you. Please, please, please, if you have a penis, can wash it before you plan to use it? And wash your underpants too?  Sure you can!  Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld for free, and get access to a free month of Majestic Membership when you go to feeld.co/savage This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.

A gay man is simultaneously weirded out and turned on by using the word “daddy” with his boyfriend. Should he stop immediately?  A woman’s husband cheated on her and it breaks her heart. She can’t divorce him because she would get deported. How can she stay married and stay sane for the next three years when she can become a legal citizen?  On the Magnum, we take a deep dive into the freaky, freaky world of the animal kingdom with zoologist and best-selling author Lucy Cooke. Her book “Bitch: On the Female of the Species” offers plenty of Lovecast fodder. She and Dan discuss the blurry, complicated connection between sex & gender, how science is riddled with cultural bias, and a ton of animal fun facts. (Some of you sub fellas are going to want to be reincarnated as an angler fish.)  And, a woman new to her very small town just ended a 2 month relationship. Her ex’s best friend swooped in and invited her to join him in a threesome. She wants to! The couple is hot! But would this make her a bad ex? Would it make the guy a terrible friend?  Q@Savage.Love  206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.

A small time influencer has just been propositioned by an aspiring “pay pig” asking her to be his findom. He backed up this offer with $5 for coffee. Enticing! Should she do it? And if so, what are the rules in keeping the relationship lucrative and ethical?  The other day? This guy was wanking? And guess what came out of his wiener along with the usual stuff…Blood! This call is disgusting. But Dan answers it, and manages to make it even grosser.  On the Magnum, uh oh! It’s time for a Second Opinion. Meredith Goldstein is a good one to consult, as she hosts the Love Letters podcast, and writes an advice column for The Boston Globe. She and Dan talk about how hard it is when one person in a relationship wants kids and the other doesn’t, the grief of breaking up, and (ulp!) keeping fit for your partner.  And, a lad with a charming Irish accent asks if the camming he’s been doing on and off for eight years is a form of cheating on his long term partner.  We like your questions very much. Send them in!  Q@Savage.Love    or call 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

A woman suddenly started having orgasms while using the elliptical machine at the gym. To help explain this potentially embarrassing phenomenon, Dan brings on Dr. Debby Herbenick, author of The Coregasm Workout: The Revolutionary Method for Better Sex Through Exercise. And you now have a new goal. A dom woman and her bi male sub are having a trouble trying to find a male unicorn. They have time constraints, and they live in a suburb, not a city. The guys they meet either can’t get it up, or ghost them. He is impatient to enjoy some male attention. How can they find the man of their three-way dreams? On the Magnum, Dan brings on author and comedian Jolenta Greenberg. Jolenta co-hosts: How to be Fine, which analyzes self-help and wellness culture. They talk about how men are getting bamboozled into this genre as well as women, and you’ll enjoy a lengthy discussion about stinky dicks. And for you who insist on watching television, a discussion on how to pretend you’re familiar with something called “Real Housewives.”  Finally, a woman’s aunt is so excited to embrace her newly discovered lesbianism that she is neglecting her infirmed husband. The uncle wants to keep it a secret and the aunt is over-sharing on social media. What is our poor caller to do?  She did the right thing! She recorded her question and sent it to Q@Savage.Love. Or she called 206-302-2064. You can too.  This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!