Savage Lovecast

A 24 year-old single woman wants to learn how to perform dirty talk, but she has no one to practice on. How can she learn the dark art?  A woman is newly out of her bad relationship, and into a joyful era of slutting around. She’s happy as a clam, but when her parents ask about her love life, they treat her like a sad spinster. How can she explain that she’s doing JUST FINE without going into too much detail? On the Magnum, have you heard of the movie “Caligula?” It was a 1979 film produced by Penthouse Magazine’s Bob Guccione and packed with stars from the day like Malcom McDowell Peter O’Toole, and Helen Mirren. And it freaked everyone out! Due to its sexual and violent content, it was the only movie that Roger Ebert walked out of. And now…it’s back! Dan brings on writer and artist Thomas Negovan to talk about how he gained access to the original footage, recut it and made the Caligula that everyone wants to see. (It played at this year’s Cannes Film Festival, so.) Would you like to hear about this? Subscribe to listen in.  And, a woman’s in-laws are threatening to descend on her home for Thanksgiving. Not only will the guest list increase to a whole new level, but they all love to watch football, which the caller detests. She likes to spend the holiday with her own family one-on-one. How can she prevent this disaster?  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get 20% off ALL mattress orders and 2 free pillows at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE, and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

We start the show with two ass-tastic calls! A domme woman has a pet boy who wants to eat things out of her butt. He suggests licorice. Any ideas for safe food items to be served out the back? And, another woman jokingly asked her husband to eat the dried mango slices he so adores off her ass. When he complied, she discovered that she really, really liked it. How can she get him to keep doing it, even though she knows it’s terribly weird?  A lovely, curvy woman in Paris can’t find men to date her because of an anti-fat bias amongst French men. Should she move to another city?  Our guest this week is Tawny Lara. She is an advice columnist better known as “The Sober Sexpert” and author of Dry Humping: A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze. She and Dan talk about the massive brain hack it takes to get clean and discover sex/dating without alcohol. A little of this conversation is on the Micro, and all of it is on the Magnum.  And, a sugar baby wonders if she should ask her much older sugar daddy to get a face lift.  We just can’t make this stuff up.  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld for free, and get access to a free month of Majestic Membership when you go to feeld.co/savage

A woman is enjoying a new friends-with-benefits relationship. She booked them an airBnB, but he had to cancel because his mother had a stroke. Now she feels insecure about him. Should she keep reaching out to try to make the tryst happen? Or wait and give him space? Is he lying about his mother?  A sub, masochist woman is into intense head-trips with her dom online-only play partner. He went too far into violent story-telling until she had to end the session. He responded kindly and appropriately with after-care. But now she wonders if he’s a genuinely bad person.  On the Magnum, Dan chats with culture & lifestyle writer Darshita Goyal about the Facebook group phenomenon “Are we dating the same guy?” Is this an empowering whisper network for women? Or an on-ramp to cyber-bullying?  A woman and her boyfriend are in an open relationship where they are each allowed to have sex with other people, but sleepovers are verboten. He got together with a hottie and she ended up sleeping at his house because he didn’t have the heart to wake her up and send her packing. He violated their rules, but are the rules too harsh?   Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064 Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get 20% off ALL mattress orders and 2 free pillows at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE, and use the offer code Savage.

We open the show with two questions from people who think they are aromantic. One of them is a woman with two sweet boyfriends, but worries she’s not giving each of them what they deserve. The other is a gay man who has never felt the jolt and tingle of new love. Will he ever be swept off his feet?  Our caller is starting a female-only book club reading works by, for and about women. A male friend of hers offered to be their naked servant, making drinks and offering snacks to the clothed attendees. The caller is delighted to make this happen, but there’s a hitch… On the Magnum, we suspect that some of you might have Relationship OCD. Dan interviews Sheva Rajaee who literally wrote the book about it. They talk about how we put irrational expectations on relationships (the myth of “The One” for example ) and how anxiety can govern our romantic lives rather than good ole intuition.  And, a man has a big, big crush on his co-worker. She is crushing right back. However! She is married with 4 little kids. Their industry is high-pressure, unique and they work closely together. They haven’t consummated their attraction for each other yet. But for how long can he live in limbo?  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.

A transman is under deep cover in his hostile, misogynistic, anti-queer work environment. And what’s more, one of his co-workers is probably a closet case who has a crush on the caller! Complicated! Dangerous! A straight man has become dependent on anal sex in order to come. Did porn hijack his erotic life? His previous girlfriend was into it, but how can he find another willing partner? On the Magnum, Dan brings on Sex Therapist Claire Perelman to talk about some of the problems that plague couples. Like, infidelity, threeways and pooping in the shower. She handles Dan Savage’s world with grace.  And, a woman doesn’t mind the dick pics. It’s when the photo includes sex with another woman that has her irked. Was the other woman consenting to have her picture shared? Who knows? Why do men do this?  Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Beducated, the leading platform for pleasure-based sex education for adults. Go to https://beducate.me/pd2328-savage  and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 40% off.  Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

“Son, I’m open.” A gay man has a great relationship with his son. They hang out together, and the son drops by all the time. The caller has a boyfriend who also get along with his son. But what the son doesn’t know, is that they have an open relationship, so sometimes the caller welcomes other men into his house. What if his son drops by then? Should he explain his open relationship ahead of time? A woman’s boyfriend proposed to her in a public, grand gesture. She hated it. They had never discussed marriage before, and the caller is skeptical of both weddings and the concept of wedlock. She said yes, only to avoid causing a scene. What now? Should she rescind her “yes?” Or negotiate with her clueless puppy dog of a fiancé? On the Magnum, let’s reconsider trigger warnings, shall we? Dan and journalist Jill Filipovic talk about her piece in the Atlantic “I Was Wrong About Trigger Warnings.” She and Dan talk about how content warnings are often nothing more than performative virtue signaling, and water down the times when they are genuinely necessary and useful. Agree, disagree, or agree to disagree.  And, a woman found out that her ex from 10 years ago got married. She had been carrying a torch for him this whole time. Although her pal knew she harbored these feelings, she still sent the caller photos from his wedding, and the caller is furious with her friend for doing so. It ruined her vacation! How to move on? Q@Savage.Love.  206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now for Veteran’s Day, get 25% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE, and use the offer code HelixPartner25.

A woman hooked up with a seemingly nice guy. She asked him to wear a condom, and he said he did. But after he left, she couldn’t find evidence of the condom- no wrapper, nothing. Did he stealth her? Should she call him and ask?  Ureaplasma: What’s this fresh new STI? Dan is stumped, so he brings on Dr. Ina Park, his go-to expert on sexually transmitted diseases.  On the Magnum, Dan chats with Shallelujah the twitch streamer with a sexy, sexy voice. They talk about parlaying a great voice (and mic) into a career, pleasing the pup community and coming out as bi in the gamer world.  And, what’s the matter with this damn cock ring?! When he was younger, it fit him like a glove. Now it’s too loose. Can steel cock rings stretch, or does Occam’s razor point to a different conclusion?  Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

Oh Lordy, hear the tale of the twisted teen! He’s been sneaking into neighbors’ houses and stealing their sex toys, including some from elderly women. How dangerous is this kid? Should someone call the cops? How can his long-suffering mother correct him and end this behavior? What do you do when you’re disgusted by your girlfriend squirting? What do you do when you’re repulsed by your boyfriend coming in your mouth? Two separate calls, one conundrum.  On the Magnum, Dan and Atlantic writer Faith Hill confront the misconception that rebound relationships are inferior or doomed. Hill brings up research showing that rebounds can help people heal from break ups and often blossom into long term relationships themselves.  A TOTAL NERD (with a girlfriend) has built himself a makeshift sex robot. Using a fleshlight, VR goggles and maybe paperclips, the caller wonders if jacking it into this bride of Frankenstein is an act of infidelity.  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

“Goodbye son, I’m off to Kink Camp!” A gay caller’s dad got divorced, came out as poly, and won’t shut up about it. He introduces the caller to all the girlfriends and brags about his various exploits. Our poor caller doesn’t want to hear the various details. How can he set some reasonable boundaries with his horndog dad?  A woman’s spiritual leader is a Buddhist who leads meditation and holds counseling sessions. He’s 20 years her senior, and she thinks he’s kind of hot. He sent her some photos of a burlesque event that he went to including a stripper on a pole. The caller is conflicted. She knows this was inappropriate, but she kind wants to sleep with him anyway.  On the Magnum, Dan enlists a pro to help with some tricky questions. A three-way goes horribly wrong, when the man of the trio busts out humiliating insults to his partner without warning or consent. A woman has to clean up the estate of her departed father, only to find his porn collection. Dan brings on couples and sex therapist Leslie Sherman to wade into the morass.  And, a new father of TRIPLETS is horrified when the little buggers grab at his nipples. He normally enjoys nipple stimulation, but now it’s freaking him right out.  Q@Savage.Love   206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

When it comes to love, never ever give up. Unless you really, really should. A woman has been crushed out on her best friend for years. Each time she asks if he feels the same, he gives her an unequivocal “No.” Should she keep pestering him?  Continuing in the theme of delusions, a caller heard that semen can prevent hair loss, and anecdotally noticed that his stomach does have quite a lot of hair, right on the target. Dear listeners, he’s been rubbing his own spunk on his head. Will it work? Dan enlists the help of dermatology professor Dr. S. Max Vale to either confirm or deny the efficacy of this practice.  More science! On the Magnum, it’s a “What You Got?” with evolutionary biologist Dr. Matilda Brindle. Her paper explores masturbation among primates, how ding-dang common it is, and how it might protect against pathogens. Dan approves.  Ok. So she fucked her friend, even though he has a girlfriend and they are supposed to be monogamous. Once the girlfriend found out, she banished her boyfriend to sleep at the home base of their friend group, until he is forgiven. But our caller isn’t allowed to come over, and now she doesn’t have any friends. She feels like she is being punished and ostracized- but she isn’t the one who broke a monogamous commitment. NOT FAIR.  Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

See you next week on July 25!

Every day a certain number of people learn about sounding. Our first call is from one of these people and he has some questions. Are you next? Listen in.  A woman with chronic illness and pain has a calm, pragmatic attitude about her condition. But how can she roll this out to new partners, and when?   On the Magnum, do you have a dick, or love someone who has one? Then this is the show for you! Dr. Ashley Winter, our urologist pal is on (with her newborn baby occasionally chiming in,) to answer some broken or ailing penis questions. Bent dicks, numb dicks, hard dicks, softs dicks- she’s seen them all. Did you know that doctors love penis pumps? They do! They’re good for you! You know what’s bad though? Putting your penis in a vacuum. Consider yourself warned.  And, listen to Dan’s conversation with a man who has been enjoying a stable poly foursome for 5 years…until now.  Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064 Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Beducated, the leading platform for pleasure-based sex education for adults. Go to https://beducate.me/pd2328-savage   and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 40% off.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

Happy birthday America, damn you’re kinky! This week’s show features a ton of calls by the kinky, those who love them, or those who are considering becoming them. Let’s dive in.  A woman and her bestie are no longer speaking to each other. Why? Because she refuses to help change out the caller’s labia piercing jewelry.  A switch woman (she can either be the dom or sub,) isn’t into humiliation. But all her partners assume she is or try to push her into it. How can she be clear about this simple hard no?  On the Magnum, it’s Mollena a.k.a “the Perverted Negress” or “The Kink Doula.” She and Dan talk about how to get started with S&M gradually, how doms have feelings too, and the rookie mistake of assuming your sub is willing to be a 24/7 slave. Until you do some planning and negotiation, you don’t just get a free laundress.  A woman lives in a community that has a lot of traumatized war veterans and refugees. She is into varsity level rough sex. She recently demanded that her lover hit her harder even though she already had a black eye. Is she some kind of monster?  Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

A woman and her husband have quit drinking. Hooray! But now that he’s sober he no longer feels comfortable getting pegged. Boo! How can he lower his inhibitions without the liquid courage? Dan chats with a woman who finally convinced her boyfriend to tell her about his secret, deep, dark, unrealizable fantasy. She and Dan problem-solve how to make it all work for him. Lucky lad… On the Magnum, just when you thought Pride month couldn’t get any gayer, Dan chats with Manuel Betancourt, author of The Male Gazed. They talk about the lasting impact of hiding your sexuality when you most want to express it, performing masculinity, wrestling singlets and a ton more.  A transman has fallen in love with his best friend- a tranwoman. They had great sex, but the friend isn’t ready to be in a sexual relationship with the caller. How can he get over his heartbreak? He feels like she is the only one who truly understands him.  We understand.  Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064

Ah. The old jiz-on-the-couch problem. This time it’s a 13 year-old boy just learning about the wonders of his youthful body. His mother wishes he would learn about socks and tissues.  We’ve been hearing the word “narcissistic” hurled at exes a lot these days. But it is a genuine psychiatric disorder, and a rare one. Dan chats with Rebecca Fishbein who wrote an article in Bustle about therapy-speak and how it’s been weaponized lately.  On the Magnum, Dan brings back sociology professor Dr. Kelsy Burke to talk about her new book- The Pornography Wars. They talk about the many enemies arrayed against porn throughout history, how porn and porn addiction get defined, and they advise a caller on whether he should tell his jealous girlfriend that he occasionally watches homemade porn of his exes.  And, somehow a gay man in the South doesn’t know if there are apps that help people in open relationships meet and get laid.  Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. This episode is brought to you by Beducated, the leading platform for pleasure-based sex education for adults. Go to  https://beducate.me/pd2328-savage     and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 40% off.

They are a butch, gender-queer AFAB, kinky pervert. As such, they love going to sex parties. Their boyfriend meanwhile, is straight, vanilla and family oriented. Their relationship is open, and he’s found a lass he wants to bone down with. But the caller doesn’t want him to! It’s a complicated situation, and Dan is here to help.  Next up, Dan chats with a caller whose new dom demands that she shave off all her body hair for an erotic “inspection.” But she’s a feminist and has issues with this request. Should she do it? Did she do it? Hear their convo and find out.  On the Magnum, have you heard of “compersion?” Our spell check program sure hasn’t! It comes to us straight from poly-land. It’s “the positive emotion one feels when one sees their partner with another person.” Our guest this week is Dr. Marie Thouin, an expert on the concept. She and Dan discuss how compersion and jealousy can coexist, how it differs from cuckolding, and how long until San Fransisco is one giant polycule? Finally, a woman is in the 3rd trimester of her pregnancy and the sex is getting weird. What changes can they make to improve their sex life? Oh honey. You have no idea.  Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

A straight man detests condoms with all his heart. Even the thought of putting on one of those rubbers makes him deflate like the ears on a 2-day-old balloon rabbit. Is this a fetish of some kind? It prevents him from having sex and it’s bumming him out.  There seems to be a fair bit of confusion about silicone sex toys and lube. Can silicone lube harm silicone sex toys? Or do they love each other so much? Dan hops on the phone with Searah Deysach from Chicago’s Early to Bed sex toy store, to set the record straight.  On the Magnum, things get heavy with a slew of questions concerning sexual abuse and trauma. Consider yourself trigger-warned. Dan brings on Dr. Leila Wood, a researcher and social worker at Austin’s Center for Sexual Violence Prevention. They talk about how to support a friend in an abusive relationship, the difficulty partners can have in playing the “villain” in erotic contexts and how kinky sex can be profoundly healing.  Finally, why all the hate for Mother’s Day? Can’t we all just get along?  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 Foria Wellness Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage Helix Sleep This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get 20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. Talkspace This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

A woman feels guilty that she’s only interested in tall men. How can she weed out the little fellas?  Our guest this week is author Matt Baume, to discuss his fantastic book “Hi Honey, I’m Homo,” which looks at queer history through the lens of old TV shows. Shows like Soap, Bewitched and All in the Family grappled with gayness in secret and overt ways that reflect the historical context of when they aired. And because this is the Savage Lovecast, Dan makes Matt answer a question about fucking trees. Some of the convo is on the Micro and all of it is on the Magnum.  A man plans to propose to his girlfriend. His mom died when he was very young, leaving behind a diamond in his dad’s care. His dad really wants him to give this diamond to his fiancé, but the caller doesn’t want to. What should he do?  And, a woman is begging you. Please, please, please, if you have a penis, can wash it before you plan to use it? And wash your underpants too?  Sure you can!  Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld for free, and get access to a free month of Majestic Membership when you go to feeld.co/savage This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.

A gay man is simultaneously weirded out and turned on by using the word “daddy” with his boyfriend. Should he stop immediately?  A woman’s husband cheated on her and it breaks her heart. She can’t divorce him because she would get deported. How can she stay married and stay sane for the next three years when she can become a legal citizen?  On the Magnum, we take a deep dive into the freaky, freaky world of the animal kingdom with zoologist and best-selling author Lucy Cooke. Her book “Bitch: On the Female of the Species” offers plenty of Lovecast fodder. She and Dan discuss the blurry, complicated connection between sex & gender, how science is riddled with cultural bias, and a ton of animal fun facts. (Some of you sub fellas are going to want to be reincarnated as an angler fish.)  And, a woman new to her very small town just ended a 2 month relationship. Her ex’s best friend swooped in and invited her to join him in a threesome. She wants to! The couple is hot! But would this make her a bad ex? Would it make the guy a terrible friend?  Q@Savage.Love  206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.

A small time influencer has just been propositioned by an aspiring “pay pig” asking her to be his findom. He backed up this offer with $5 for coffee. Enticing! Should she do it? And if so, what are the rules in keeping the relationship lucrative and ethical?  The other day? This guy was wanking? And guess what came out of his wiener along with the usual stuff…Blood! This call is disgusting. But Dan answers it, and manages to make it even grosser.  On the Magnum, uh oh! It’s time for a Second Opinion. Meredith Goldstein is a good one to consult, as she hosts the Love Letters podcast, and writes an advice column for The Boston Globe. She and Dan talk about how hard it is when one person in a relationship wants kids and the other doesn’t, the grief of breaking up, and (ulp!) keeping fit for your partner.  And, a lad with a charming Irish accent asks if the camming he’s been doing on and off for eight years is a form of cheating on his long term partner.  We like your questions very much. Send them in!  Q@Savage.Love    or call 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

A woman suddenly started having orgasms while using the elliptical machine at the gym. To help explain this potentially embarrassing phenomenon, Dan brings on Dr. Debby Herbenick, author of The Coregasm Workout: The Revolutionary Method for Better Sex Through Exercise. And you now have a new goal. A dom woman and her bi male sub are having a trouble trying to find a male unicorn. They have time constraints, and they live in a suburb, not a city. The guys they meet either can’t get it up, or ghost them. He is impatient to enjoy some male attention. How can they find the man of their three-way dreams? On the Magnum, Dan brings on author and comedian Jolenta Greenberg. Jolenta co-hosts: How to be Fine, which analyzes self-help and wellness culture. They talk about how men are getting bamboozled into this genre as well as women, and you’ll enjoy a lengthy discussion about stinky dicks. And for you who insist on watching television, a discussion on how to pretend you’re familiar with something called “Real Housewives.”  Finally, a woman’s aunt is so excited to embrace her newly discovered lesbianism that she is neglecting her infirmed husband. The uncle wants to keep it a secret and the aunt is over-sharing on social media. What is our poor caller to do?  She did the right thing! She recorded her question and sent it to Q@Savage.Love. Or she called 206-302-2064. You can too.  This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

A very vanilla woman is so vanilla that she “doesn’t know what a kink is.” That’s really vanilla! Here’s a complicated three-way situation: He is the top with his husband. But he is the sub for his Dom boyfriend. When the three get together, who does what? On the Magnum we welcome back Dr. Carlton Thomas, the intrepid gastroenterologist who fears no anal sex question. Example! One caller wants his butt to feel raw from rough use. Then, a woman wants to stretch her asshole for her boyfriend and wonders if it will snap back. They talk about giant sex toys, sex toys getting lost up there, Bengay as lube and more! Listen in!  And, more tamely, a woman worries that her boyfriend’s halitosis bodes ill for oral sex. Could she get an infection from his stinky spit?  Send us your Qs. Dan will give you an A Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

A gay man living in the south is having a heckuva time trying to find a trans man to hook up with. Also he doesn’t want to come across as a chaser… Hear the unpleasant tale of the careless, selfish dom who boxed his lover on the ears twice (after being told not to) and took some non-consensual pics as well. You hate to see it.  On the Magnum, Dan brings on non-binary the comedian Mae Martin. They talk about “the gender thing” - gender fluidity, top surgery, the difference between sex and gender, neo-pronouns and the freedom to pursue who you are. Martin is a delight, as is their comedy special on Netflix.  And, a woman and her boyfriend want him locked up in a chastity cage. But how can she keep his “beautiful dick” safe? Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 Foria Wellness Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage

Is it feasible to start your pro-Domme career at age 43? This married woman with kids wants to get back in the life.  A lesbian is married to a woman with a Catholic upbringing and actively religious family. They live in a country where they have to pay dues to the church. When her wife goes to Catholic ceremonies like baptisms and funerals, the caller feels white hot fury. Should she let her wife go with the conservative flow, or fight it? Dan’s answer…may shock you.  On the Magnum, Dan chats with comedian and writer Zach Zimmerman about threesomes as gay privilege, sleeping (or flirting) with your landlord and whether posthumous outing is ok.  Also, you Magnum subs will learn a little something VERY personal about Dan Savage.  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

A theme emerges! Sadly, the theme is seeing your dad’s dick. Would you be able to pick out your dad’s dick in a dick line-up? No, you would not.  A woman’s brother is about to do time for pedophilia. Compounding the tragedies here, the caller has lost all sense of her own sexuality due to her brother’s crimes. How can she get back to herself?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with artist, writer and gay activist Leo Herrera on gay men using words like “pussy” and “mangina” to refer to their butts. They also get into how the concept of “breeding” came to be used as a sexual term.  And, a straight man wonders why he feels so much better after having partnered sex, as opposed to masturbation. Q@Savage.Love.  206-302-2064 Get your M n’ Ms: www.PlanCpills.org This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

Have you ever been to a terribly complicated orgy? This one promises to be epic. Hear about the game they invented called “Spin the Bottom.”  A trans woman has started feeling claustrophobic when she goes down on either her male or female partner. Oral is her favorite! What gives?  On the Magnum and the Micro, Dan welcomes professor and sex researcher Dr. Lori Botto to talk about the nature of asexuality. Is it mutable? Can you be in a relationship if you’re ace?  On the Magnum, Mistress Matisse is back to help answer some general sex worker questions: a woman is planning a three-way with a sex worker. Should she warn the sex worker that she’s a big ole squirter? A man with sex work in his past isn’t sure how to roll this history out to potential partners. And, how can you achieve poppin’ nips like the strippers have? Matisse handles it all with eloquence and grace.  Q@Savage.Love   206-302-2064 Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

A special bonus podcast just for you.

A couple with adult children want to start using apps together. The kids know their mom is bi, but they don’t know about the open relationship. What happens if their kid sees them on one of the apps?  Some people need sexy costumes for their scene. Some people need toys or bondage gear. This lady needs a large quantity of blood.  On the Magnum, have you ever thought about how awkward it would be to have to act in a sex scene? Dan brings on Intimacy Coordinator Jessica Steinrock to explain her profession, how she ensures safety for the actors, and keeps the steamy sex scenes you love ethical. Is the TV/Film industry actually getting its shit together? Probably not! But this is a step in the right direction.  And a lesbian wonders if her relationships always go down in flames because she is *too* understanding and non-judgmental.  Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show

What is up with using the word “cuck” as an insult? Has it replaced “faggot” as the slur of choice? A man has been dating a woman for a few months. He feels they could have long term potential, even with the possibility of children. But! He doesn’t feel a chemical attraction to her pussy like he does with other women. How ill does this bode?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with Paul Scheer- actor, comedian and host of the film podcast Unspooled, about the Oscars, belly fetishes, noisy sex and what it’s like to be inundated by the Star Trek fandom.  And, if you use a nipple suction toy, you just might get more than you bargained for… Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

For the stout of heart, if you dare, hear the tale of shibari bondage gone wrong.  A woman had a nice date with a man she suspects is very short. Then he kind of ghosted her. Should she tell him that she doesn’t care about his height?  Drag mega-star Jinkx Monsoon joins Dan in a righteous rant against red state politicians’ cynical attacks on drag performance and trans people. And they call out the silence from high profile “straight allies” who have been profiting off drag for years. Some of this fiery conversation is on the Micro and all of it is on the Magnum.  Finally, more than a few of you will smugly smile when you hear about the cheating man, who dates a cheating woman and they are each mad at each other about all the cheating.  Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 Talkspace This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. Meridian Grooming This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.

A woman masturbates in her sleep. Although she’s currently single, she worries about times when she has to share a room with family or friends. Should she warn them?  A woman’s sister plans to gallivant off to Texas to meet an online lover for the first time, on his rural cattle ranch, for some no-strings-attached BDSM sex. What could go wrong? The caller plans to slip an air tag in her luggage, and hope for the best.  On the Magnum, Dan brings back anal surgeon Dr. Evan Goldstein. In his practice at Bespoke Surgical, he sees it all: Fistulas. Glands. Fissures. And now you get to hear all about it! Too many doctors dismiss medical problems associated with anal sex, so Dan and the good doctor discuss ways to validate anal health practices. He and Dan both frown on numbing lubes. And the debate is on: spit or lube?  A man has been married for 20 years. Both he and his wife are bi, but she is no longer interested in sex with him. She has a girlfriend, he has a boyfriend. She has suggested he move in to his boyfriend’s house and that her girlfriend moves in to their house. Can their marriage survive this?  Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

Ok, let’s say you don’t drink alcohol. But you do drink piss, right? If your lover drank a bunch of beer and then you drank his piss, did you just drink alcohol?  A woman had an affair with a man she had been very close friends with. His wife found out, and it all blew up. He asked to cut off all contact while he fixed things with his wife. She just learned that he has cancer, and the caller wonders if she can reach out to him now. Heart-breaking! On the Magnum, Dan enlists the help of sex and culture writer Magdalene Taylor to talk about why people are not having enough sex. Her piece in the New York Times paints a very grim picture indeed. Even in Berlin this is happening! Also, the son of a co-worker is spouting some incel ideology online. Should the caller say something to the mom?  And, a woman keeps dating men who look alike! She just started dating a man who looks so much like her nasty ex, that she’s worried people will comment on it. It’s embarrassing, but is it a deal-breaker? Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 From the intro: Weegee’s photo:  https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/263635 Tennessee Governor Bill Lee in drag:  https://twitter.com/HilbillyLiberal/status/1629882528361328641?s=20 Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show! Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at www.stamps.com/savage. This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.

How do you organize a sex party with your pals- without it being awkward?  Meanwhile, a woman asked her male friend to join her at a swingers hotel takeover. But she has a crush on him, and now regrets asking him to go. Should she bow out?  On the Magnum, sometimes you need a pelvic floor specialist, am I right? Dan revisits the question of the man who asked if he should surprise his wife with a vibrator after she gave birth, to try to rekindle her sexual desire. Dr. Rachel Gelman, pelvic floor specialist is on to chat about this and a pussy juice mystery.  Finally, it’s label time! What do you call a straight couple that wants to bring in other people to sleep with, but that they also like a lot? What color is this flag?  You guys. We’re running out of colors.  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $20% off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

A woman has been with her boyfriend for 4 years. He is so wonderful! But…he doesn’t bother to give her orgasms. He has all the orgasms! As many as he wants. Orgasm, orgasm, orgasm. He won’t do anything to get her there. Has she talked to him about this? Yes! She has! He doesn’t care. Happy Valentine’s Day. Here’s the reason you listen to the show. A man ordered a butt plug, but it arrived broken in two pieces. The question? What kind of glue should he use to fuse it back together? On the Magnum, Dan chats with Diana Adams: international legal advocate for LGBTQ+, non-nuclear, & polyamorous families. Diana goes over some of the issues in setting up different family structures for queer and poly folks. It’s a brave new world, and Diana is here to guide us through it.  And, a woman is disenchanted with hook-up culture. She wants sexual intimacy, but no penetration. She is also interested in BDSM. But she has a hard time saying no to men when they pester her for sex. How can she find the right man to thread her needle? Q@Savage.Love   206-320-2064 This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by Fabric by Gerber Life- making it easy to get high quality, affordable life insurance for you and your family. Go to MeetFabric.com/Savage today.

Your place or mine? A recently divorced woman wants to sleep around. Is it safer to have men come to her house, or should she go to theirs? A married man remembers a fling he had decades ago. But it’s a bit of a blur. They were drinking, but he vaguely remembers not wearing a condom. As she was cheating on her boyfriend at the time, she asked him to cut off contact afterward, which he happily obliged. But now he wonders if he possibly could be the father of her (now adult) child. And if so, should he reach out to her and offer some kind of support?  On the Magnum, Dan brings back the naughtily delicious comedian Zach Noe Towers to advise a newly out man on how to speak gay. They also get deep and real talking about sex after recovery, and then things get weird with a discussion about tiny, sharp, spiky spines on some men’s dicks. Tuck in.  A man in his late 40s is happily married to his wife for 20 years. They are swingers. He’s been fantasizing about being with men, but when the opportunity arrises he chickens out. Would a trans woman work for him?  Q@Savage.Love        206-302-2064 Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

A tortured, indecisive woman is on the fence about whether to continue her relationship with her husband of 11 years. Every day she wakes up wondering, “Is this right?” Is this normal?  Hear the cautionary tale of the professional cuddler in an ethically non-monogamous relationship with a would-be dom and his much, much younger co-worker. Your life will suddenly feel manageable.  On the Magnum, RIVAL relationship advice maven Damona Hoffman from the Dates & Mates podcast is on to swap strategies. What do you do with a man at a sex party who uses the same condom with 4 women? They also discuss race issues while dating, power dynamics and much more.  And, a man has started dating a bearded guy. He likes the beard, but has only seen pictures of his boyfriend unshaven, and feels he has a right to see his face without all the bush. Does he have this right?  Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064 Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage. Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

A man wants to partake in some orgies with his girlfriend. But he loses his erection when there are other men in the room. How can he teach his boner to come out and play?  Meanwhile, a man in a 6-year relationship hasn’t had sex in the past 3 years because his girlfriend just doesn’t wanna anymore. They’ve talked and talked and talked. Is it worth going to couple counseling to try to work it out?  On the Magnum, how can you turn your vanilla man into a dom? Naturally, Dan brings in the ultimate expert- Lina Dune from “Ask a Sub.” They talk about topping from the bottom, bottoming from the top and the social media censorship that is wrecking good sex education.  A woman was driving, minding her own business, when she saw the driver next to her had his laptop facing OUT, showing porn. Is this the new flasher style? Should she have called the cops? Q@savage.love      206-302-2064 Fabric This episode is brought to you by Fabric by Gerber Life- making it easy to get high quality, affordable life insurance for you and your family. Go to MeetFabric.com/Savage today.  Squarespace This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Helix Sleep This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

A woman remembers with shame how she reacted when her then-boyfriend came out to her as bisexual. She hasn’t talked to him in 9 years and wants to apologize. Should she? How?  For you sci-fi pervs, what happens to the “eggs” that get deposited with an ovipositor dildo?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with Samantha Cole, senior editor for Vice Media, about her new book “How Sex Changed The Internet And The Internet Changed Sex.” They discuss ancient history of the internet, how furries built the web, Fosta/Sesta and a ton more.  And, a trans man got herpes from a pre-transition hook-up. Now when he discloses his herpes status first thing on Grindr, men reject him. But when he puts it at the end of his profile, they get mad. Should he disclose at all?  Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 Dipsea This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  Talkspace This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

A woman is head over heels in love with her new boyfriend. He is a cross-dresser and they both enjoy exploring this kink together. The problem? He isn’t interested in having sex with her and it’s shredding her self confidence.  A man is seeing two women in a poly triad. The second woman struggles to feel included and incorporated in the couple’s life but they make it work. But it all falls apart when time of the month rolls around, and then she becomes unkind, needy and too demanding for the caller. He feels like an emotional punching bag.  On the Magnum: A true blue, long time-listener, first-time caller has the hots for our long-suffering medical expert Doc Barak! To reward her, Doctor B employs his smoldering voice to explain athletes feet, an acne-like condition which afflicts sweaty parts of the body, and how to date a doctor when he’s too tired out from residency to fuck.  Finally, a woman new to town wants to set up a gang bang for herself. In her vision, it would be loving and respectful, with her as the center of worship by many men. How can she make this happen safely?  Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

Happy New Year dear listeners!  Things are starting off great! A listener discovered an old journal left behind from her newly ex-boyfriend. It contained erotic fantasies about a previous girlfriend’s…daughters. So, the conundrum: Should the caller tell his ex about his written fantasies? Should she burn it and forget the whole thing? Or calmly hand it back, looking him squarely in the eye?  Dan couldn’t resist chatting with porn star Leo Louis because he digs guys who look like Janice from the Muppets.  On the Magnum, Dan speaks with Jason Roeder, a former senior editor at The Onion. His new book, "Griefstrike: The Ultimate Guide To Mourning"- is a very funny book about grief. They talked about grieving conventions and advised a listener with a wrenching quandary. And, two women are each dating stinky men. These fellas refuse to use products to mitigate the powerful waft. How can they make their deodorant-discordant relationships work? Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Fabric by Gerber Life- making it easy to get high quality, affordable life insurance for you and your family. Go to MeetFabric.com/Savage today.  Squarespace This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Stamps.com Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

A trans man has heard that desperate straight men have been scouring Grindr looking for trans men because they will accept any vagina at all. Is it true? How can he weed out these unscrupulous, horny cads? As a woman from Texas was researching how to obtain a medical abortion, a scammy, stealth anti-abortion “pregnancy crisis counseling clinic” came up on Google. And even worse, it’s the center where her mother works. Now the caller doesn’t know whether to tell her mother she had the abortion, or how to maintain a peaceful relationship with her. On the Magnum, we welcome the great, great grandchildren of Emily Post! Lizzie Post and Daniel Post Senning are carrying on the family tradition with the Awesome Etiquette Podcast and the Centennial Edition of Emily Post’s Etiquette. So what on earth are they doing on the Savage Lovecast? Why, they answer questions about chastity cages of course! They are delightful, as you will find out when you listen. And, he has tried to break up with her. Really he has. But she physically puts her body between him and the door. So, now that he is watching her cats while she’s gone, should he boogie real quick?  Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

A short man who is newly returned to the dating world finds his height is disqualifying him from a lot of women. Does this happen in gayland?  A 39 year-old straight man just can't keep an erection when he's wearing a condom? How common is this condom conundrum? On the Magnum, comedian Matteo Lane DARED to start an advice segment in his comedy routine. Dan drags him on the show to test his advice-giving chops, and to talk about sleeping with homophobes, and being monogamous under duress.  And, it’s an NB extravaganza! Three calls in a row from or about non-binary folks.  Q@Savage.Love.  206-302-2064 Feeld This episode is brought to you by Feeld, a dating app where the open-minded can meet the like-minded. Download Feeld for free, and get access to a free month of Majestic Membership when you go to feeld.co/savage Rocket Money This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money ( formerly known as Truebill.) Rocket Money is the easiest way to manage your expenses, cancel unwanted subscriptions, lower bills, and track your spending – all in one place. Go to RocketMoney.Com/Savage OMG Yes This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women’s sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to OMGYES.com/Savage.

A GGG wife wants to give her man the thing he most wants: his tongue in her ass. But she’s so ding-dang ticklish down there, it’s a no go! How can she learn to suppress her (not sexy) giggles?  A former stripper now has a “straight” job. But her co-workers are a nest of slut-shaming, sex-negative, misogynistic vipers who don’t know that she did sex work before. Should she keep her mouth shut, or tell them off?  On the Magnum we are always so happy to bring on our favorite sex toy expert- cartoonist Erika Moen. If you must buy things over the holidays, let those things be sex toys. We hear from a diabetic man who has learned that COCK RINGS are here to save his erections. And a large woman wants a toy to help her better enjoy doggity style. Pragmatic solutions abound.  And, an Australian erotic masseuse hopes that the copious layer of oil he applies for his “nude slides” will protect him against STIs.  There’s always hope.  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

A 32 year-old man had a cold sore once when he was 15. Does he now have to disclose this every time he goes in for a kiss?  As a man’s 20 year marriage was ending, he had an affair with an old friend. They were together for 2 1/2 years after the marriage ended. To this day his kids won’t forgive him for this. How can he win them back?  On the Magnum, Dan brings back our resident STI expert, Dr. Ina Park, to discuss warts that just won’t quit, telling the jerk you slept with that you have some gonorrhea, and, how to prevent recurring unitary tract infections after anal sex. Enjoy!  And, a woman broke up with her boyfriend of 8 months. He just couldn’t commit to her, saying she was…”too confident,” and his mother agrees. (It’s genetic!) Her question is whether these hurtful words should end any friendship after the breakup or should she keep him in her life? Dan’s answer may…NOT surprise you. Q@savage.love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage. This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter “Savage” for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.

A gay man seeks out masseuses who turn out to be erotic body workers. They initiate a sexual encounter, which the caller enjoys very much. But is it wrong to see them? And why do they recoil when he tries to touch them? Night Terror! A woman had a great time with a dom who tied her up and got her deep into sub space, with no sex. He slept on the couch. But that night she woke him up screaming from a nightmare. He got out of there fast. Now, he’s annoyed with her, and she feels abandoned.  On the Magnum, Dan brings on Evan Urquhart, a trans man who covers trans issues for Slate. They talk about “chasers” -people who are specifically attracted to trans folks. They also dig into the confusion around trans women vs. cis male cross-dressers.  And, is there such a thing as a kink for infidelity? A woman loves to sneak around and have private adventures. But she doesn’t want to hurt her girlfriend. Is there a way she can satisfy her need to break some rules within the confines of an ethical non-monogamous relationship?  Q@Savage.Love  206-302-2064 This episode is supported by Dear Headspace, an original podcast from Headspace. Hear meditation teachers counsel real people with real problems.  For a 30-day free trial of Headspace, go to www.headspace.com/podcast This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money ( formerly known as Truebill.) Rocket Money is the easiest way to manage your expenses, cancel unwanted subscriptions, lower bills, and track your spending – all in one place. Go to RocketMoney.Com/Savage

Her new boyfriend has been caught in an extortionist’s web. He wanked to a woman’s video online and she sent him and the caller video, threatening to send it far and wide if he didn’t pay her. Now the caller is wondering if this is just how the ride is gonna be with this guy.  Good news- monkeypox is on the run! Dan chats with our house monkeypox expert, Dr. Carleton Thomas to talk about how gay men were able to change their behavior and bring infections down by 90%.  On the Magnum, Dan chats with Inanna Justice about her new book: Heart of the Dominatrix.  And, help this leather party newbie figure out what to do with her socks when she arrives at the event.  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women’s sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to OMGYES.com/Savage.

She used to masturbate as often as 20 times in day. But after getting on medication for depression, her libido crashed. She’s off the meds now, but still hasn’t regained her mojo. How can she recover her lost sex drive?  A woman went to a sex club with her husband for the first time. It went swimmingly. But the next day she felt depleted and unsexy. What happened? Is Post-Sex Club Letdown a known syndrome? On the Magnum it’s advice columnist v. advice columnist! Dan brings on actor and journalist Ben Dreyfuss to talk about advice columns, throw some shade, cast some aspersions and generally dish about the genre.  And a we close with a couple questions about ethical non-monogamy. A man wonders when in the dating process to bring up his preference for ENM. And, a woman is dating a gal who is only reluctantly consenting to ENM. How can she teach her to embrace an open relationship?  Q@Savage.Love.  206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.

A FREE Sex & Politics, just for you, Micro listener! Here is the show which came out on September 29, 2022.  It's a conversation with Mike Pesca, host of The Gist and Not Even Mad. Dan and Mike get on like a house on fire, and we thought you might enjoy just a taste of the goodies that Magnum listeners get all the time. If you like this, please consider becoming a Magnum Sub over at Savage.Love.

Ok, here’s the problem: She gets too wet. She only recently learned how to orgasm, and now she’s making up for lost time. But her skilled boyfriend needs a little more…friction. What can they do? A gay man got an anonymous text saying that a friend of his is a rapist and a predator. This friend has never showed any sign of such evil behavior. The caller is torn between believing victims and trusting his friend.  On the Magnum, in the birth control/abortion feuds, we’ve been getting it all wrong. We should stop focusing on ovulation and target ejaculation. Gabrille Blair who wrote Ejaculate Responsibly after a tweet went viral, talks about how impractical and unfair our current thinking is. And this Mormon mother of 6 does know a thing or two about birth control… And, a man’s girlfriend of 7 short months, announced that she just might be NB or even trans, but she isn’t sure. When the caller told her he is only attracted to women, she took it back just to save the relationship. But he can’t unhear what she told him and now he wonders if he should break up.  Q@Savage.Love   206-302-2064 MeUndies Today’s Lovecast is brought to you by MeUndies.com: High quality, super-comfortable, good looking undies. Get 15% off your first order when you go to MeUndies.com/Savage. Stamps.com This podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com. Click on the microphone and enter “Savage” for postage, a digital scale, and a 4 week trial.

Family drama ahoy! A married man is in a carefully constructed open relationship. But when his wife’s sister found out about it, she went ballistic and told the whole family. Now the caller is cut off from his in-laws, and never gets to see them. He and his wife are buying a house, and his in-laws want to pop over and check it out. Should he leave for a few hours and let them in?  A queer woman has a crush on her tattoo artist. She knows the crush is in an open relationship, and that their partner is hot too. Would it be too forward to propose a three-way?  On the Magnum, have you ever been broken up with via text? Have you ever dumped someone that way? Dan brings on comedian Allison Goldberg, creator of “How to Break Up By Text” to talk about this modern etiquette crisis.  A gay man is in a happy relationship with his older boyfriend. But oh how he misses the orgies. His boyfriend isn’t interested in apps or bathhouses, or any such thing. He’s willing to pick someone up in a bar, but since they are both homebodies, it’s unlikely to happen. Is it ultimatum time? Q@Savage.Love.  206-302-2064 Read Dan’s column at Savage.Love.  Helix Sleep This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE. Talkspace This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $100 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

A woman just broke up with her boyfriend (for unknown reasons.) He used to shower her with praise. “You could be a fashion model!!” Now that’s he’s gone, how can she find another man to who will heap her with the praise she needs and craves?  On the Magnum, Dan keeps Halloween holy by inviting scream queen Kate Siegel (The Haunting of Hill House, Ouija: Origin of Evil, Midnight Mass etc.,) to discuss relationship drama, and when to back off already. These two are like a couple of giggling sisters with a bowl of popcorn. Also, find out what Dan does every year at his house on Halloween.  Dan chats with a gay man whose partner has unilaterally turned off the sex spigot. The boyfriend compares his disinterest in sex with the caller’s disinterest in discussing philosophy. Can this relationship survive?  When doctors go wild: She used to be a straight-laced proper lady doctor. She was engaged to a man, and a virgin at that. Then she met the caller, started dating her, and is now dabbles in drugs and tattoos. But the question here folks, is how can the caller bust her former doctor’s very intact hymen.  Q@Savage.Love.  206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode of the Savage Lovecast is sponsored by OMGyes.com: a website dedicated to getting scientific truths out about women’s sexual pleasure. Savage Lovecast listeners can get a discount if they go to OMGYES.com/Savage.

A married woman is pregnant with her second child. Over the years she has become more and more interested in kink and rough sex. But her husband feels pressure to be more dominant. Will she go back to preferring vanilla sex once the pregnancy hormones are gone? Why does she suddenly feel this way?  A gay man uses numbing cream to counter his premature ejaculation. When he’s topping during anal sex, is he ethically obliged to disclose this?  On the Magnum, Dan chats with Elisa Wells from PlanCPills.org to talk about the accessibility of medical abortion. The pills that end an unwanted pregnancy are safer than viagra. Wells and her team are working to make sure every woman in America has access to this medication.  A woman’s new boyfriend is into scat. He wants to watch her on the toilet. The woman is considering indulging him but wants to understand this fetish better. And is there a sexy way to poop?  Q@Savage.Love.   206-302-2064 Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep-the best mattress for your individualized comfort. Right now, get up to $200 off ALL mattress orders at HelixSleep.com/SAVAGE.