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The Offensive

An award-winning, critically acclaimed mockumentary podcast that follows fictional Premier League club Ashwood City FC. 'The Thick of it meets Fifa career mode - a must listen for football fans' - The Guardian 'Ultra-sharp satire' - GQ This podcast is a serial, begin at Episode 1. Hosted on Acast. See <a href="https://acast.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" style="color:grey;" target="_blank">acast.com/privacy</a> for more information.

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The creators of The Offensive are back with Season Two of their groundbreaking audio drama, BOOM.The first two episodes are out now, with new episodes released every Monday. Search 'BOOM' in your podcast app and subscribe. And if you want to get the whole series straightaway, for the first time ever you can purchase all six episodes ad-free for £6.99 with Acast+ here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Introducing... BOOM Season Two | Out now

Behind the scenes for The Offensive finale.patreon.com/ashwoodcity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Bonus: Episode 189 - Thanks for Listening

The fate of the club and its staff hang in the balance as 5 years of mismanagement and greed come home to roost.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshJoel Emery as Dan WatsonMatthew Malthouse as Tom BeattieAdditional Voices:Natalie GreenJoel EmeryAdam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell Directed by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 188 - The Final Finale: Part 2

Having been relegated from the Premier League, the season's proceedings come to a close. Including an outstanding Court of Appeal appearance for Sir Patrick Nolan and Ashwood City FC. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallMatthew Malthouse as Tom BeattieAdditional Voices:Harry AttwellLauren IngramKarim KronfliGeorge StillEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell Directed by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 187 - The Final Finale: Part 1

Matchday 38 and just 90 minutes of football remain in the 2022/23 Premier League season as Ashwood City throw everything at survival.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshJoel Emery as Dan WatsonAs themselves:Peter DruryGary LinekerAlan ShearerMicah RichardsJules BreachKate MasonDanny Jamieson Episode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 186 - Full Time

It's Matchday 37 in the Premier League and we join Peter Reynolds and Billy Richards for Everton v Ashwood City at Goodison Park.Voices by: Joel EmeryEpisode written by: Joel EmeryExecutive Producer: Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 185 - Everton v Ashwood City

Off the back of a 4-0 defeat to Manchester United, Ashwood City need a result on the pitch. Meanwhile, a decision by a local magistrate gives them a result off the pitch. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshMatthew Malthouse as Tom BeattieAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryThomas MitchellsJemma RevellLauren HallAdam JarrellMichael LyonsEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 184 - Council Culture

As the financial cuts deepen, Ashwood City are barely keeping the league form together at the most important stage of the season. Chief-Executive Jess Tate and Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan finally discuss the fallout from administration.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallMatthew Malthouse as Tom BeattieAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 183 - Hove is where the Heart is

In the grips of a brutal CVA, further cuts are made and this time the coaching staff are targeted. Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall looks to offer a beleaguered Dan Watson all the help he can during a wobble in form as Patrick Nolan continues to distance himself from the crisis.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallMatthew Malthouse as Tom BeattieJoel Emery as Dan WatsonEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 182 - All The Manager's Men

Ashwood City travel to The Emirates Stadium on  Easter Weekend. Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan informs Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Colin Walsh of his Zoom meeting with the local council. Meanwhile, Administrator Tom Beattie has completed his dreaded 'Black Folder'. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshMatthew Malthouse as Tom BeattieNatalie Green as Elaine WrightChirstopher Swift as Reuben ThomasAdditional Voices:Adam JarrellJoel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 181 - Risen from the Zoom

Ashwood City clash with the local council over who's to blame for the collapse of the iBET stand. Meanwhile, Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan makes a momentous call on the club's future. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallMatthew Malthouse as Tom BeattieDarcey Ferguson as Leanne PotterNatalie Green as Elaine WrightAdditional Voices:Adam JarrellJoel EmeryVanessa EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 180 - Uncivil War

Ashwood City Football Club are hit by the news that the fabled iBET Stand has collapsed. The club hierarchy and local council clash over who's to blame. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan WatsonAdditional Voices:Thomas MitchellsNatalie GreenNalan BurgessEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 179 - The Stand Before Time

As the football world reacts to the BBC's treatment of Gary Lineker, Ashwood City have a social media issue of their ownPaul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan WatsonLuke Stevenson as Gareth McAskillAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryAdam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 178 - Stranger than Fantasy

Stuck in traffic after the second leg of The Champions Fixture against PSG; Ashwood City Chief Executive Jess Tate questions Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan about rumours surrounding the future of the football club.Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan Helena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryAdam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 177 - The Great Escape

Ashwood City Chief Executive Jess Tate spends her 'day off' visiting both her doctor and an old acquaintance, who may know more about the future of the club than Jess does.Helena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan WatsonLauren Ingram as Fiona WeedAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryAdam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 176 - Blind Tate

A day in the life of Ashwood City is interrupted by a protestor, who aims his fury at Club Chairman Sir Patrick Nolan. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryAdam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 175 - Nude Awakening

Liverpool FC are in town as Ashwood CIty play their first home game since the catastrophic transfer window.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshJoel Emery as Dan WatsonAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryAdam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 174 - Live and Let Liverpool

After a brutal transfer window, Sir Patrick Nolan heads to the City of London to seek new money from old friends. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanThomas Mitchells as Simon Napier-FoxAdam Jarrell as Chris WellAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryNalan BurgessJennifer TierneyEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 173 - London Calling

A seismic day in the history of Ashwood City Football Club has arrived as the severe financial crisis, internal disputes, player disharmony and firesale of key team members comes to a head on a tumultuous Deadline Day.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan WatsonJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshChristopher Swift as Reuben ThomasAdditional voices byDarcey FergusonEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell and Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Holy Smokes Media Ltd Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 172 - Deadline Day: Part 2

The departure of Brazilian striker Kevin brings about yet more protests at The Credit Master Stadium. Despite a decent run of form in the league, the Ashwood CIty hierarchy find themselves locked in the offices, for their own safety. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan WatsonEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 171 - Deadline Day: Part 1

Ashwood City Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall goes back to his roots on a scouting mission to recruit an up-and-coming player for the January transfer window. All voices by Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 170 - Woody's Roundup

Ashwood City take on SkyBet Championship side Blackpool in the Third Round of the FA Cup. Before the game, Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall takes Club Chairman Patrick Nolan to Blackpool Pleasure Beach. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan WatsonEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 169 - Mixing Business with Pleasure (Beach)

A new year, and a new beginning for Ashwood City, as the second Dan Watson era gets underway with a visit from fellow Premier League strugglers Everton. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan WatsonAnt McGinley as David Hall Episode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 168 - Super Trooper

Merry Christmas from all of us here at Ashwood City.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshChristopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Thomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAnt McGinley as David Hall Adam Jarrell as Kieran Broom / Chris WellJemma Moore as Danielle Broom Additional Voices:Joel EmeryVanessa EmeryEpisode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell Directed by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 167 - The Christmas Special One V

As the Premier League fixtures wrap up before the World Cup break, Ashwood City owner Patrick Nolan is still trying to secure the services of Mauricio Pochettino. Meanwhile, the players await their international call-ups, and the club bids farewell to Chief Player Liaison Officer, Theo Clinton.  The Offensive will return on Boxing Day 2022. For exclusive episodes between now and then – including a special World Cup bonus episode – subscribe to the Ashwood City Patreon for just $5 a month: www.patreon.com/ashwoodcity.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAnt McGinley as David Hall Esmonde Cole as Kyle Francis ClarkAdditional Voices:Darcey FergusonAdam JarrellJoel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 166 - The Damned Re-United: Part 2

The World Cup break approaches and Ashwood City desperately needs a new manager to take the reins during the much needed downtime. Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Colin Walsh get to work with their array of scouting talent, Patrick however is distracted by an old acquaintance.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshChristopher Swift as Reuben ThomasEpisode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell Directed by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 165 - The Damned Re-United: Part 1

Unfortunate news regarding Head Coach Eric Van Smit forces the club to make a decision. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAllon Sylvain as Eric Van SmitAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel WebberEpisode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell Directed by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 164 - Smit Happens

Ashwood City Chairman Patrick Nolan M.B.E and Chief Executive Chris 'Woody' Woodall fly to Austin, Texas, to enjoy the US F1 Grand Prix. But the situation surrounding Club Doctor Rachel Webber provides an unwanted distraction from the day's events for Patrick Nolan. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel WebberEpisode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell Directed by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 163 - Grand Pricks

During a dull Premier League fixture away to Chelsea, Ashwood CIty Chairman Patrick Nolan is offered a role within His Majesty's Government that could potentially allow him to gain the respect he so desperately desires. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Hugh ChambersEpisode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Joel Emery & Adam Jarrell Directed by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 162 - Universally Challenged

Senior management at Ashwood City attend a pre-hearing for the legal clash with Arsenal Football Club, as the fallout from the final day of the 2021/22 season continues to engulf the club in financial and legal turmoil...Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallKarim Kronfli as Judge GastrellJennifer Tierney as Hannah IngramHarry Attwell as Robert GrangerEpisode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell Directed by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 161 - Flaw and Order

For the first time in its history, the Ashwood City Stadium has changed its name courtesy of a new revenue stream secured by Chairman Patrick Nolan MBE. The fallout from this momentous chapter in the club's history is hostile, to say the least.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryAdam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell Directed by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 160 - Name and Shame

It's the day of the funeral for Queen Elizabeth II. In a momentous occasion for both the club and country, an opportunistic Patrick Nolan decides to showcase Dartley Park to a potential buyer. The Offensive will return after the International Break.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanThomas Mitchells as Simon Napier-FoxAdam Jarrell as Kieran BroomAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryAdam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell Directed by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 159 - Lever Pitch: Part Two

It's a momentous day in Ashwood City's history as they travel to the Nou Camp to take on Barcelona in the UEFA Champions League... The historic occasion is somewhat spoiled by a deepening financial crisis at the club. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel WebberChristopher Swift as Reuben Thomas Additional Voices:Joel EmeryDarcey FergusonEpisode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell Directed by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcity WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable. This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 158 - Lever Pitch: Part One

Ashwood City are the visitors at St James' Park in a must-win game for the Super Whites.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall & Kieran BroomJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryAdam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 157 - Toon Can Play At That Game

League form has never been worse, their Head Coach has finally been charged by the police and a multitude of other crises emerge... Ashwood City are feeling the heat as Deadline Day approaches.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshAllon Sylvain as Eric Van SmitAdditional Voices:Nalan BurgessJoel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 156 - Deadline Day

Ashwood City Chairman Patrick Nolan and CEO Chris 'Woody' Woodall enjoy the facilities of Broadley Country Club. All is not as it seems, however, as Patrick confides in his Chief Executive.  Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 155 - A New Leaf

Ashwood staff are impressed with the delivery of a summer project by the new Ashwood City Chief Executive Officer. An envious Patrick Nolan sets out to undermine all the hard work done by Chris 'Woody' Woodall and the rest of the club. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 154 - Apportunity Knocks

Premier League football returns as Ashwood City host Fulham at Dartley Park. Chairman Patrick Nolan M.B.E is eager to kick off the new era with a bang, whilst newly appointed C.E.O Chris 'Woody' Woodall concentrates on cleaning the mess left by Head Coach Eric Van Smit's antics at the end of last season. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshAllon Sylvain as Eric Van SmitAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryKate MasonLuke MooreEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 153 - 2022/2023 SEASON: The Nolan Era

The makers of The Offensive are here to introduce you to their groundbreaking new drama, BOOM, starring Akie Kotabe, Sharon D. Clarke MBE and Omari Douglas.This is Episode 1, just search ‘BOOM’ wherever you get your podcasts to get all six episodes of Season One now! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Introducing... BOOM Season One | Out now

Ashwood City are leading 2-1 in a game they simply must win. Yet with just 15 minutes remaining they've been caught on the break with no one back to cover...Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateChristopher Swift as Reuben ThomasThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel WebberJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshAnt McGinley as David HallWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.Episode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel Emery Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 152 - Finale: Part 2

Ashwood City head into their final game of the 2021/22 season: a home tie against relegation battlers Leeds United. With a win Ashwood City would seal Champions League qualification for the first time in a generation.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateChristopher Swift as Reuben ThomasThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel WebberJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshAnt McGinley as David HallEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 151 - Finale: Part 1

Patrick Nolan MBE has secured full ownership of the club as Ashwood City thrash Norwich and set up a tantalising final pair of fixtures against Brighton and Leeds. The new takeover however has a final few tweaks to the personnel before completion.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdditional voices:Nalan BurgessEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 150 - All Good Things Come To A Friend

Anaheim Sports Group are finalising the sale of 55% of Ashwood City to Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan, making him the outright owner of the club. As well as Anaheim Sports Group, Manchester City are also in town as Ashwood look to remain in the race for Champions League qualification.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 149 - Bid Adieu

After a demoralising defeat to Everton at Goodison Park, the Ashwood City juggernaut has stalled... But the headlines are dominated by an offer from Patrick Nolan to purchase the rest of the club and the news has hit the fanbase hard.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel Emery & Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 148 - Manic Room

Chief Executive Patrick Nolan MBE is enjoying a well-earned break in the Seychelles. Little does he know that a seismic decision Stateside will cut his trip short.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 147 - Sun's Out, Funds Out

Ashwood City have rediscovered their form at the right time in the season. Next up, fellow sanctioned Premier League side Chelsea FC.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonHelena Doughty as Jess TateEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 146 - Force Mature

Premier League football returns, as does a familiar face to Ashwood City Football Club...Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallChristopher Swift as Reuben ThomasThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 145 - Business As Unusual

From the creators of The Offensive. The chart-topping comedy drama retelling the Whitechapel murders returns for a second series.Search ‘Jackie the Ripper’ wherever you get your podcasts to catch up on season one now and follow @JackieRipperPod on Twitter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Introducing... Jackie the Ripper Season Two | Out Monday 28th March

An unprecedented sanction has hit Ashwood City Football Club following the exposure of Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan's links to problematic Russian investment. With tight restrictions and panic setting in, Patrick must ensure he can get the UK government to ease the ruling.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 144 - From Russia with Love

A humbling 3-0 defeat at West Ham prompts Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall to review the game in the analysis room. Interim Head Coaches Chris Well, David Hall and the entire first team squad are in attendance for the match review.Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallPaul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAnt McGinley as David HallChristopher Swift as Reuben ThomasAdam Jarrell as Chris WellAdam Jarrell as Kieran BroomEpisode written by: Joel EmeryEdited by: Adam JarrellDirected by: Adam Jarrell Executive Producer: Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised. The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 143 - Anger Management

With global politics playing havoc with the stability of Ashwood City assets, Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan has his eye drawn to another Premier League club as Ashwood host Newcastle United at Dartley Park.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 142 - Deep Blue Sea

After a humbling defeat to Burnley at Turf Moor, filling the vacant managerial role has become an absolute priority for the club. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan, Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall, Head of Communications Jess Tate and Head of Football Operations Colin Walsh disperse amongst European cities to approach their managerial targets. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 141 - The Special One(s)

In the early hours of the morning, Ashwood City Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall wakes to the news that club captain Kieran Broom has committed a public misdemeanour after being removed from a nightclub. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell and Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 140 - The Breakfast Club

Chief Executive Patrick Nolan is working closely with Amazon Prime Video to ensure that the next season of 'All or Nothing' covers Ashwood City Football Club. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateNalan Burgess as Nina BradshawAllon Sylvain as Eric van SmitEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 139 - Fool's Gold

A jaw dropping exit by Head Coach Sven Goran Eriksson in the closing stages of Deadline Day leaves Ashwood City in disarray. A long term managerial search is in the pipeline, but in the short term the club need to choose a man for the job.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateAnt McGinley as David HallChristopher Swift as Reuben ThomasEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 138 - The Wrong Man

Deadline day has arrived and Chief Executive Patrick Nolan is chasing the highly controversial offer from Real Madrid for star forward Kevin; much to the dismay of Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 137 - Deadline Day: Part 2

Ashwood City host a thrilling Premier League clash with Wolves as Head of Football Operations Colin Walsh and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall field unwanted interest in Kevin from a European super club.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryJoaquin Augusto QuinterosEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 136 - Deadline Day: Part 1

As matchweek two of AFCON begins, Ashwood City Chief Executive Patrick Nolan and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall fly out to Cameroon to ensure high profile talent Christian Akuffo is being taken care of.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel WebberThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 135 - (AF)CON AIR

The Ashwood City hierarchy head to The Big Apple. Brazilian centre forward Kevin, however, is lost in New York. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jessica TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell Directed by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 134 - The Christmas Special One IV

In the fallout from his recent public faux-pas, pressure is mounting on Ashwood City Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan as he attempts to evade the authorities. A visit to a local children's hospital, however, may have given him the inspiration he needs.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jessica TateJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 133 - The Fairytale of New York

Amidst speculation of an incoming independent regulator, the Premier League summons its cohorts to launch a media offensive and counter the argument.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jessica TateAlex Marshall as Will WrightEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 132 - Fools and Regulations

Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan has secured a massive sponsorship deal with a cryptocurrency marketplace that even involves an unprecedented £200m stadium naming-rights deal.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jessica TateChristopher Swift as Reuben ThomasEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell and Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 131 - Live by the Fraud, Die by the Fraud

The Premier League returns and the international break has caused havoc with Ashwood City's playing staff. Head Coach Sven-Goran Eriksson is determined however to field an unchanged side as they travel to Manchester City... much to the fury of Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jessica TateAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel WebberChristopher Swift as Reuben ThomasEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell Directed by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 130 - It's Reigning Sven

Ashwood City take on Burnley at home in the final Dartley Park fixture before Remembrance Sunday. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan works closely with his communications team to ensure the memorial presentation is befitting of those who sacrificed their lives. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jessica TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAdditional Voices:Thomas MitchellsJoel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell Directed by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 129 - Soldier of Misfortune

To address the ongoing concerns over the legitimacy of the summer purchases; Chief Exectutive Patrick Nolan is heading out to ASG Headquarters in Los Angeles. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jessica TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryVanessa EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell Directed by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 128 - I Still Know What You Did This Summer

To celebrate Acast's Audio Fiction Week, take a peek behind the curtain of Ashwood City with this special behind-the-scenes look at the making of episode 126 of The Offensive. Featuring creators Joel Emery and Adam Jarrell as well as Paul Waggott (Patrick Nolan) and Helena Doughty (Jess Tate).  Edited by:Adam Jarrell Directed by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Making of The Offensive

Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan has questions to answer from not only the Premier League but also the ownership of his own club. With the summer acquisitions under scrutiny; the race to clean up their act intensifies, as speculation over an independent regulator heightens. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell Directed by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 127 - I Know What You Did This Summer

The elite members of the Premier League react with fury at the takeover of Newcastle United Football Club. As crisis talks begin between clubs and league, Ashwood City are unexpectedly asked along to attend the high level meeting.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell and Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 126 - Extreme Takeover

Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall join one another on the road for back-to-back Premier League away games at Leeds United and Watford.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 125 - Driving Miss Diesel

As Ashwood City's form improves, Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall secures a new First Team Coach to work under Head Coach Sven-Goran Eriksson. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateAnt McGinley as David HallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 124 - See a Man About a Dog

The feel-good factor around the club is spilling over into the private life of Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan. Once besieged by abuse and torment, it would seem the fans have finally been appeased... Those popular new acquisitions however are coming at a costly price.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 123 - Repo Man

Ashwood City arrive in Liverpool on the eve of their match with the 2020 PL Champions. With new signings Vassos, Luna and Kevin travelling in the matchday squad, expectations are high... But for Chief Player Liaison Officer Theo Clinton the matchweek is much more complicated. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonChristopher Swift as Reuben ThomasEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 122 - Fabtastic Beasts and Where To Find Them

The English transfer window is closing fast and Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is struggling under the pressure; during the once in a lifetime window for Ashwood City. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshAmina Koroma as Dofi AkuffoAdditional Voices:Joaquin Augusto Quinteros Joel Emery Episode written by: Joel EmeryEdited by: Joel Emery & Adam JarrellDirected by: Adam JarrellExecutive Producer: Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 121 – Deadline Day: Part 2

The opportunity to improve the Ashwood City squad for the 2021/22 Premier League season is slipping away. An old ally of Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan offers an unlawful alternative to their transfer woes. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Christopher Swift as Reuben ThomasAdditional Voices:Joel Emery Episode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel Emery & Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 120 - Deadline Day: Part 1

The Premier League returns and the new power structure of Ashwood City has Patrick Nolan at the helm. Lack of activity in the transfer window has provoked a strong backlash from the fanbase, leading to widespread vandalism. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  John Brannoch as Colin WalshThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonChristopher Swift as Reuben ThomasAdditional Voices:Danny JamiesonJonny BlainErika MarchantAnt McGinleyJohn WalkerMarcus SpellerJim CampbellPete DonaldsonNatalie GreenEsmonde ColeEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

2021/22 SEASON: Window Shopping

It's the final matchweek of the Premier League season and Ashwood City Chief Executive Patrick Nolan finds himself with a new level of power. The dramatic events of the week before have not been taken lightly by Anaheim Sports Group as Patrick takes to The University of Ashwood to reflect on his recent endeavours.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Victoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel WebberRamone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey SimmsAdam Alexander as Adam TateJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryNalan BurgessEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 118 - Finale: Part 2

Wembley Stadium plays host to the FA Cup Final between Chelsea and Ashwood City. As kick-off looms, the historic purchase of 30% of the club on behalf of the Ashwood City Supporters' Trust comes to completion. Helena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Rhys Tees as Frank FinnanAdam Alexander as Adam TateJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 117 - Finale: Part 1

With a new regime being installed at the club and an FA Cup final on the way, acting Chief-Executive Jess Tate continues to assist the transition. Helena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Rhys Tees as Frank FinnanLuke Stevenson as Gareth McAskill John Brannoch as Colin WalshThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 116 - Game Over

The hierarchy of Ashwood City is turned on its head as the Supporters Trust gain significant progress due to some help from an old friend. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Helena Doughty as Jess TateVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonRhys Tees as Frank FinnanAdam Alexander as Adam TateAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel WebberAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryLuke StevensonEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 115 - The End of an Error

Off the back of a huge FA Cup Semi-Final appearance for Ashwood City; European football is thrown into chaos as The Super League announce their arrival on the world stage.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Helena Doughty as Jess TateVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshRhys Tees as Frank FinnanAdam Alexander as Adam TateAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryNalan BurgessLuke StevensonEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 114 - The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Wembley Stadium plays host to Leicester City v Ashwood City in the FA Cup Semi-Final. A government approved test event has allocated seats for 4,000 supporters inside the 90,000 seater. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Helena Doughty as Jess TateRhys Tees as Frank FinnanKelly Somers as HerselfAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 113 - The Fans Doth Protest Too Much

Ashwood City Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is losing his grip on his position at the club as Anaheim Sports Group have accepted the offer from Harvey Simms. With the deal underway, all Patrick has to work with is a name... 'Bohai'.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Helena Doughty as Jess TateRamone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey SimmsJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshEsmonde Cole as KFCThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 112 - Simms City: Part 2

Ashwood City face Manchester City in matchweek 30 of the Premier League. As the domestic season looks to be a fairly quiet one on the pitch for the Kent side; off the pitch the bidding process is in disarray as Harvey Simms and the Ashwood City Supporters' Trust turn up the pressure on Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Helena Doughty as Jess TateJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshRhys Tees as Frank FinnanAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryMusic featured: 'Gravitated' by Edgar HoppWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 111 - Simms City: Part 1

Ashwood City Chief Executive Patrick Nolan, Head of Communications Jess Tate and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall enlist the help of the Ashwood City faithful to try and lift morale and improve the club's dreadful home form. Meanwhile, The Ashwood City Supporters' Trust gains momentum. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Helena Doughty as Jess TateJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshAdditional Voices:Jennifer Tierney Joel EmeryRhys TeesAdam AlexanderEpisode written by:Joel Emery & Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 110 - The Ground of Music

The long-awaited tribunal finally sees Kyle Francis-Clarke and The Professional Footballers' Association take on Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Colin Walsh of Ashwood City Football Club.Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  John Brannoch as Colin WalshJennifer Tierney as Hannah Ingram QCEsmonde Cole as KFCThomas Mitchells as Judge Philip GrayEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 109 - Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged

Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan's fantasy football team is suffering following his failure to pick up on insider knowledge from Ashwood City. His resolve is tested further as Head of Football Operations Colin Walsh uncovers the legal threat posed by the impending litigation from injured forward Kyle Francis-Clarke.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshEsmonde Cole as KFCThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAdditional voices:Danny JamiesonNalan BurgessEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 108 - His Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

A brawl amongst the playing and coaching staff of Ashwood City and Tottenham Hotspur takes place post-match at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is desperate not only to partake in the Skywalk with Daniel Levy but also to take centre stage in diffusing the tension.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonRamone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey SimmsAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 107 - Fight Club

Coronavirus has struck down the Ashwood City hierarchy as Patrick Nolan, Jess Tate, Alex Morrison and Chris 'Woody' Woodall are all forced into isolation. As the PFA case of Kyle Francis-Clarke begins, Patrick takes on local small businesses and Harvey Simms... all while battling severe COVID symptoms.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdditional voices byRachel TeateEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 106 - Zoom For Improvement

A dramatic 1-0 victory over Arsenal at Dartley Park has sparked outrage among the football community as the use of a ballboy - prohibited under COVID-19 protocol - was instrumental in the winning goal. To add to Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan's woes; Dr. Rachel Webber is taking action against the medical impropriety and mishandling of injured star KFC by Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall and Head of Football Operations Colin Walsh.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel WebberJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshAdditional voices by:Luke StevensonEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 105 - Problem Child

Ashwood City are in midweek Premier League action against Manchester United. Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan however is at the whim of owners Anaheim Sports Group and is tasked with hosting prospective buyer and potential successor Harvey Simms. With the Sky Sports' cameras awaiting the big game and a glimpse of Harvey; Patrick has a plan...Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateRamône Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey SimmsVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAdditional voices byJonny BlainJoel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 104 - Foul Play

On the final day of the January Transfer Window news comes to light that recent signing Kelvin Reid has had intimate relations with the wife of club veteran; Marco Nipic.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonRay Strasser-King as Kelvin ReidJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshAlberto Iriarte as Beñat 'Benny' BengoetxeaEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advisedThe Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 103 - Deadline Day: Part 2

Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Head of Communications Jess Tate require negative COVID-19 test results ahead of Deadline Day at Ashwood City Football Club.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Additional Voices:Rachel TeateThomas MitchellsJoel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryEpisode directed by:Helena Doughty & Paul WaggottExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 102 - Deadline Day: Part 1

The new regime under Sven-Göran Eriksson has provided a much needed impetus for Ashwood City Football Club. The turn of fortunes even reflects onto the Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan as he secures a rare appearance on a dedicated Ashwood supporters' podcast feed.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  John Brannoch as Colin Walsh Sven-Goran Eriksson as HimselfAlberto Iriarte as Beñat 'Benny' BengoetxeaAdditional Voices:Nalan BurgessJoel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 101 - Who Swears Wins

Ashwood City Football Club look to complete the signing of Sven-Goran Eriksson as Head Coach.In Loving Memory of beautiful Lucinda.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Thomas Mitchells as Theo Clinton  Victoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryDirected by:Joel Emery & Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery & Adam JarrellEdited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 100 - The Christmas Special One III

The Tottenham victory seals Ashwood City's 4-straight league win under Interim Head Coach Matt Jansen. Former player and businessman, now turned Ashwood City agitator; Harvey Simms has enacted shareholder protocol to demand a meeting between Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and the highly regarded Jansen... Meanwhile in Scandinavia; Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall attempts to recruit his successor.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallRamone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey SimmsThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel Emery & Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 099 - Big Man On Campus

On a fiercely windy day in Kent, Ashwood City host Tottenham Hotspur after a run of 3-straight victories under Interim Head Coach Matt Jansen. With Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Head of Communications Jess Tate in attendance; Croatian defender Dario Babic suffers a dangerous injury on the field.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel WebberVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryAdam JarrellDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 098 - Gone With The Wind

Chief Player Liaison Officer Theo Clinton has unexpectedly been exposed as the individual behind the Ashwood City email hacks. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan looks to resolve, understand and ultimately exploit his motives. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Thomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel WebberRachel Teate as Dame Georgina PittAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryNalan BurgessDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 097 - The Ashwoodian Candidate

The international break has concluded and Premier League action returns. Ashwood City travel to Newcastle United as Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is looking to recover from a difficult couple of weeks following his disastrous appearance in Prague...Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJohn Brannoch as Colin WalshAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Episode 096 - The Imitation Game

Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is under intense pressure as a potential rival has emerged for the much coveted 30% ownership of Ashwood City Football Club. His frustrations and ego are relieved however, with the news of a career achievement recognition from the footballing community.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanRamone Dale-Cruickshank as Harvey SimmsHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallRachel Teate as Dame Georgina PittAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWith thanks to:The Ashwood City Season Ticket Holders & Shareholderswww.patreon.com/ashwoodcityWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.