The Offensive

The Offensive

By Stakhanov

An award-winning, critically acclaimed mockumentary podcast that follows fictional Premier League club Ashwood City FC.


'The Thick of it meets fifa career mode - a must listen for football fans' - The Guardian


'Ultra-sharp satire' - GQ


This podcast is a serial, begin at episode 1.

Episodes

Episode 084 - Finale: Part 1

It's the final week of the season, and the battle for Premier League survival hits boiling point as Ashwood City travel to Villa Park. Can The Superwhites continue their run of good form under Interim Head Coach Matt Jansen in their penultimate game of the season? Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateVictoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Lance Fuller as Dwight HayesAdditional Voices:Jo PriceJoel EmeryLucinda ShawDirected by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell and Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
01/06/2028m 59s

Episode 083 - Me, Myself and Fly

Ashwood City travel to Goodison Park to take on Everton in one of the final games of the season. Off the pitch, however, things turn sour as Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall is forced to vacate his seat, due to the ongoing issues with Rob Jefferson. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell Episode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
25/05/2027m 40s

Episode 082 - Kyle and Error

Ashwood City take on Tottenham Hotspur under new Interim Head Coach Matt Jansen. Meanwhile, Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall explore their options for life in The Championship without in-form prospect Kyle Francis-Clarke.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateEsmonde Cole as KFCVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell and Joel Emery Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
18/05/2022m 42s

Episode 081 - Fever Pitch

The first match of the season in the post-Van Smit era sees fellow Premier League strugglers West Ham United visit Dartley Park. Will the 'New Manager Bounce' materialise and allow Ashwood City to gain three valuable points?Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanJoel Emery as Dan WatsonAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateRhys Tees as Rob JeffersonLucinda Shaw as Christine WilliamsEsmonde Cole as Howard JaggerLance Fuller as Dwight HayesMatt Jansen as Himself Directed by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell and Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
11/05/2032m 26s

Episode 080 - Afscheid, Eric

Following an away defeat to Brighton and Hove Albion, the Ashwood hierarchy put the wheels into motion to try and turn the club's fortunes around. Negotiations with former coach Dan Watson however, hit a bit of a roadblock in the form of new representation for the fan-favourite. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateJoel Emery as Dan WatsonAllon Sylvain as Eric Van SmitEsmonde Cole as Howard JaggerRhys Tees as Rob Jefferson Directed by:Adam Jarrell Episode written by:Joel Emery Edited by:Adam Jarrell and Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
04/05/2032m 3s

Episode 079 - I'd Do Anything

As the deal to bring home 'The Prodigal Son' Dan Watson edges closer, Patrick Nolan is A.W.O.L from the club offices. Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall leads the chase to find the missing Chief Executive.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonLucinda Shaw as Christine WilliamsAllon Sylvain as Eric Van SmitLucy-Jane Quinlan as Grace Roberts-DeanDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam Jarrell and Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/04/2032m 1s

Episode 078 - Planes, Trains and Automobiles

Ashwood take on Manchester City at the Etihad Stadium, with an already irritated Patrick Nolan arranging the travel to the game for his fellow board-members; Head of Communications Jess Tate and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateLance Fuller as Dwight HayesAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryNalan BurgessDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
20/04/2029m 47s

Episode 077 - The Resurrection

The Premier League has returned, as Ashwood City host Arsenal. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallEsmonde Cole as Howard JaggerAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel WebberAllon Sylvain as Eric Van SmitThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonHelena Doughty as Jess TateJoel Emery as Dan WatsonWith thanks toJon ChampionDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/04/2030m 22s

Episode 076 - The Game is Afoot

Something is stirring in the night...Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdditional voicesLucinda ShawJoel EmeryWith thanks toJon ChampionDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
06/04/2026m 2s

Episode 075 - Rebel Without a Clause

In a time of unprecedented government support for businesses, Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan has taken the opportunity to make the most of the tax-payer funded assistance.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallLucinda Shaw as Christine WilliamsHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdditional voicesLuke MooreLynne ShawJoel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery & Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
30/03/2024m 7s

Episode 074 - Party Poopers

As a nationwide lockdown looms; Patrick, Woody and Jess make a final social outing in attending the birthday party of Arsenal Head Coach Mikel Arteta.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateLance Fuller as Dwight HayesWith thanks toThe Price of Football PodcastKevin DayKieran MaguireGuy KiltyDirected by:Joel Emery & Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel EmeryEdited by:Joel Emery & Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
23/03/2029m 10s

Episode 073 - A Goal For Africa

Football is at a standstill and in an effort to gain some positive online traction; Ashwood City have released a fundraising anthem during Sport Relief mistaking it for Red Nose Day. It's up to Jess Tate to handle the fallout from the controversial song.Helena Doughty as Jess TatePaul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel WebberThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdditional voicesLucinda ShawJoel EmeryDirected by:Joel Emery & Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery & Adam JarrellEdited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionableThis is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
16/03/2025m 24s

Episode 072 - The Boy Who Cried Wolfsburg

Flying high off the back of a 1-0 win in Wolfsburg in the Europa League Round of 16; the Ashwood City players are taking measures to ensure they avoid being affected by the Coronavirus outbreak.Esmonde Cole as Howard JaggerAdam Jarrell as Kieran BroomAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel WebberAllon Sylvain as Eric van SmitDirected by:Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/03/2020m 55s

Episode 071 - Old Etonians Assemble!

As the authorities prepare their case against Patrick Nolan, old connections provide an opportunity to hinder the prosecution. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonRhys Tees as Rob JeffersonAdditional voicesNalan BurgessJoel EmeryDirected by:Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
09/03/2022m 4s

Episode 070 - Dangerous Liaisons

Ashwood City set their sights on Norwich and all three points as 19th in the Premier League take on 20th at Carrow Road. Woody however has bumped into an old colleague that could turn the fortunes of the club.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan WatsonDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
02/03/2023m 13s

Episode 069 - Broom With a View

Ashwood City are in Basel, Switzerland for the second leg of their Europa League Round of 32 tie. In addition to already trailing 1-0 on aggregate, the side now have to deal with club captain Kieran Broom walking out on the team prior to kick-off.Allon Sylvain as Eric van SmitAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr Rachel WebberAdam Jarrell as Kieran BroomEsmonde Cole as Howard JaggerThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAdditional Voices:Nalan BurgessJoel EmeryCasting Director:Kirsty GillmoreDirected by:Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel Emery & Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/02/2027m 16s

Episode 068 - Hold The Phone

UEFA have been in touch with Ashwood City to confirm the use of Patrick Nolan in the promotional media for their latest campaign. The Chief-Executive however... has a few tweaks. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallDirected by:Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
24/02/2024m 37s

Episode 067 - Family Matters

The Europa League returns as Ashwood City face FC Basel at home in the first leg of the Round of 32 tie. Tensions from the previous week have got unresolved as Kieran and Christian's relationship deteriorates further causing Dwight Hayes to step in.Lance Fuller as Dwight HayesAllon Sylvain as Eric van SmitAdam Jarrell as Kieran BroomEsmonde Cole as KFCIsi Adeola as Christian AkuffoThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonCasting Director:Kirsty GillmoreDirected by:Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
20/02/2020m 1s

Episode 066 - Training Day

With yet another Premier League defeat, this time at the hands of Leicester City, Ashwood find themselves in turmoil as on-the-field pressure breeds contempt on the training ground.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallEsmonde Cole as Howard JaggerLance Fuller as Dwight HayesNalan Burgess as Natasha HarleyAdditional voicesThomas MitchellsCasting Director:Kirsty GillmoreDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
17/02/2020m 47s

Episode 065 - Rest For The Wicked

Ashwood City are without a fixture and in an effort to fully embrace the Premier League winter break, the ownership have taken the team and staff to Florida for an extensive training camp to save their season. Patrick on the other hand is working on his own brand to save not just his season, but his reputation.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallNalan Burgess as Natasha HarleyAdditional voicesVanessa EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
10/02/2021m 51s

Episode 064 - Bourne Ultimatum

With the close of the transfer window, Ashwood City's attention returns to the Premier League and the visit of relegation rivals AFC Bournemouth. Patrick Nolan's attention, however, is focused on how to undo a personal faux pas. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallIsi Adeola as Christian AkuffoAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Adam JarrellCasting Director:Kirsty Gillmore Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
03/02/2024m 18s

Episode 063 - Deadline Day

Ashwood City are moments away from getting the Christian Akuffo deal over the line from Napoli. The new signing however has a difficult first demand upon his arrival at the club.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallLance Fuller as Dwight HayesIsi Adeola as Christian AkuffoRhys Tees as Rob JeffersonThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonLucinda Shaw as ChristineDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel EmeryCasting Director:Kirsty Gillmore Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
31/01/2021m 57s

Episode 062 - An American Werewolf in Ashwood

Struggling Ashwood City have travelled to Molineux to face Wolverhampton Wanderers. Joining the Ashwood City hierarchy is Anaheim Sports Group's latest addition, Operations Director; Dwight Hayes. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallLance Fuller as Dwight HayesVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdditional voicesJonny BlainDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel EmeryCasting Director:Kirsty GillmoreExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
20/01/2020m 51s

Episode 061 - Wayne's World

The Premier League returns after a brief FA Cup interlude. For Ashwood City preparations for the visit of Crystal Palace have been disrupted by the disgruntled 'Wayne'.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAdditional voicesLucinda ShawDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
13/01/2022m 20s

Episode 060 - Pat on a Hot Tin Roof

Following a brutal festive period in the league for Ashwood City, it's finally cause for celebration as Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is to receive an MBE. A celebratory party is arranged in a rare weekend without Premier League action.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallDirected by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
06/01/2022m 57s

Episode 059 - The Christmas Special One II

It's Christmas Eve and the Ashwood City hierarchy are spending it in Los Angeles. For Patrick Nolan, it's a chance to solidify his masterplan, whilst Jess and Woody are tasked with retrieving the player on top of the club's christmas list - Joshua Nakatomi. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallRhys Tees as Hutch LewisAdditional voicesJohn BrannochDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery & Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryThe Offensive will return 06/01/2020 with a special F.A Cup Episode. WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
23/12/1932m 30s

Episode 058 - Hutch Ado About Nothing

The bail is set for Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan's release as his cooperation with the investigation ensures a problematic scenario for Anaheim Sports Group owner Hutch Lewis; whose trust in Patrick is coming back to haunt him.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallRhys Tees as Hutch LewisThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonAdditional voicesLucinda ShawVanessa EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
16/12/1920m 34s

Episode 057 - All's Well That Ends Well

It's the final game of the Europa League Group Stage and Ashwood City face Qarabag at home. In the lead up to kick off, the club hierarchy have arranged to shoot an advert.Adam Jarrell as Chris WellAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel WebberAllon Sylvain as Eric van SmitAdam Jarrell as Kieran BroomDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Adam Jarrell & Joel Emery Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited     See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/12/1920m 43s

Episode 056 - Desert Storm II

A midweek Premier League clash with Everton is followed closely by Bournemouth away at the weekend. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan, however, is going to be absent from the visit to the South Coast as he is drawn back to Saudi Arabia at short notice. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateRhys Tees as Hutch LewisAdditional voicesNalan BurgessDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel Emery and Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
09/12/1921m 54s

Episode 055 - Theatre of Schemes

Ashwood return to Premier League action at Old Trafford. Sharing a car journey together en route to the game, Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan discovers that Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall has been hatching a plan.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallEsmonde Cole as Howard JaggerDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
02/12/1920m 55s

Episode 054 - Slip of the Iceberg

It's Thursday night football yet again and Ashwood City are up against Rangers in Glasgow as their penultimate Europa League fixture sees them look to recover from their 4-0 defeat to Roma and their 3-0 domestic defeat to Leicester City. Last time out, Rangers boss Steven Gerrard neglected to shake Eric's hand, this time out Eric is looking to return the snub.Thomas Mitchells as William van GinkelNalan Burgess as Natasha HardyAllon Sylvain as Eric van SmitEsmonde Cole as KFCAdam Jarrell as Chris WellDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
28/11/1922m 16s

Episode 053 - Desert Storm

Ashwood City are concluding a brief warm weather training session in Saudi Arabia ahead of the next Premier League matchweek. With a player revolt behind them; Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan and Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall are looking for the remaining conspirators.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallEsmonde Cole as Howard JaggerVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonNalan Burgess as Claudia SeymourDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
25/11/1920m 27s

Episode 052 - When The Man Comes Around

The Ashwood City hierarchy enter contract talks with former club captain Kieran Broom. After scoring the winner at the weekend away to Newcastle United, the Midfielder believes he holds all the aces as he attempts to orchestrate a potential return of the prodigal son, Dan Watson. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan on the other hand, has different ideas. * The Offensive will return on 24.11.19, after the International Break Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallRhys Tees as Rob JeffersonVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonJoel Emery as Dan WatsonAdditional Voices:Acushla-Tara KupeLynnette ShawJohn BrannochLucinda ShawThomas MitchellsDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
11/11/1921m 23s

Episode 051 - Children of the Revolution

An emphatic home defeat to Manchester City has prompted an emergency Monday morning training session ahead of the Europa League home game v Roma... But a few senior players have other plans. Allon Sylvain as Eric van SmitEsmonde Cole as Howard JaggerAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel WebberThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonRhys Tees as Rob JeffersonAdam Jarrell as Kieran BroomJoel Emery as Dan WatsonDirected by:Joel Emery & Paul WaggottEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel Emery Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited --   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
07/11/1920m 8s

Episode 050 - Lest He Forget

Ashwood City are playing host to the Champions; Manchester City on their final home Premier League game before Remembrance Day. A recent faux-pas by Patrick Nolan has prompted the Chief-Executive to keep a low profile on the matchday.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonRhys Tees as Hutch LewisDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
04/11/1922m 9s

Episode 049 - Fight at the Museum

It's the opening of the Ashwood City Museum. During preparations for the unveiling; Patrick, Jess and Woody explore the not-so-glorious past of the club. As Patrick prepares a speech to the press, things go from bad to worse. Helena Doughty as Jess TatePaul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAdditional Voices:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
28/10/1921m 21s

Episode 048 - The Boys Are Baku in Town

Ashwood City are in Baku, Azerbaijan following their fixture with Qarabag FK in the UEFA Europa League. With an early flight back to the UK the next day, the players are expected to get some much needed rest and recovery in the hotel.Esmonde Cole as KFCAdam Jarrell as Chris WellThomas Mitchells as Theo ClintonDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
24/10/1921m 52s

Episode 047 - Black Hawk Clown

The Premier League has returned from the international break and Ashwood City face Brighton at Dartley Park. With hastily made plans to find a sponsor for the former Gerry Harkness stand; the club face fierce protests and a possible boycott of the game.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdditional voices:Luke StevensonJoel EmeryLucinda ShawAlex MarshallDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited--   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
21/10/1922m 44s

Episode 046 - Brussels Scouts

Ashwood City take on Tottenham Hotspur in the Premier League at the newly developed Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. Patrick and Woody are admiring not only the new stadium belonging to the North London club; but also one of their centre-backs.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallHelena Doughty as Jess TateVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
07/10/1921m 14s

Episode 045 - A Tale of Two Coaches

Two Ashwood Managers, old and new face very different challenges as European football grips the continent yet again. For Ashwood City it's the Europa League and they play host to Rangers, while Valencia are at home to Ajax in the Champions League.Allon Sylvain as Eric van SmitJoel Emery as Dan Watson  Acushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel WebberAdam Jarrell as Chris WellDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
03/10/1920m 22s

Episode 044 - Riches Get Itches

Pressure is mounting on Patrick as financial conduct, club form and dressing room turmoil are all catching up with him, he pays a visit to the club doctor to seek some medical assistance.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAcushla-Tara Kupe as Dr. Rachel WebberEsmonde Cole as Howard JaggerAdditional voices: Luke StevensonDirected by:Adam Jarrell & Paul WaggottEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
30/09/1922m 0s

Episode 043 - The Volley of Youth

It's the first Premier League win of the season for Ashwood City and it comes on the road at West Ham. For Patrick, Woody and Jess the celebrations are on hold as matchday goalscorer and prized asset Kyle Francis-Clarke has gone AWOL in London following the unexpected victory.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdditional Voices:Lucy-Jane QuinlanThomas MitchellsJoel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
23/09/1920m 4s

Episode 042 - The Fools of Rome

The Europa League campaign kicks off in Rome, as Ashwood City take on AS Roma in their opening group game. Tensions with Kieran Broom continue to worsen as the side face a difficult challenge away from home. Esmonde Cole as KFCAllon Sylvain as Eric van SmitAdam Jarrell as Chris WellAdditional Voices:Nalan BurgessJoel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Joel Emery  Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
19/09/1924m 53s

Episode 041 - Don't Count Your (Kentucky Fried) Chickens

The International break is over and Premier League football returns to Dartley Park as Ashwood City take on league leaders; Liverpool. Chief Executive Patrick Nolan has his work cut out to repair his relationships and reputation after the decision to relinquish the captaincy from Kieran Broom.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Additional Voices:Rhys TeesJoel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
16/09/1920m 49s

Episode 040 - The Hark Side

The club react to the sad news that Ashwood legend Gerry Harkness has passed away. Meanwhile, Patrick's dubious financial endeavours are beginning to catch up with him as local journalist Gareth McAskill is tipped off. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Victoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdditional Voices:Nalan BurgessRhys TeesVanessa EmeryLucinda ShawLuke StevensonJoel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
02/09/1924m 31s

Episode 039 - Nuno Way Out

Following a home defeat to Wolves, Patrick and Woody find themselves waiting outside new Head Coach Eric Van Smit's office. With no confidence and no signal - the pair must formulate a plan to let the Head Coach know exactly how they feel about Ashwood's torrid start to the season. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Victoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonEsmonde Cole as Howard JaggerAdditional Voices:Lucinda ShawLuke StevensonJoel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.***Please take the time to rate and review us on iTunes or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!***  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
26/08/1921m 33s

Episode 038 - The Kiss of Death

After a disappointing draw with newly-promoted Sheffield United, the Ashwood City fans want answers. The Club's hierarchy, however, have other issues to attend to. An unfortunate traffic jam only adds to the problems of Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Victoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdditional Voices:Thomas MitchellsEsmonde ColeLucinda ShawJoel Emery   Directed by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
19/08/1924m 43s

Episode 037 - Gel Hath No Fury

Ashwood kick off their season away to Burnley and immediately face consequences from the result. With weeks of excessive spending behind him; Patrick is desperate to fix any squad issues before the next matchday. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Esmonde Cole as Howard JaggerAdditional Voices:Nalan BurgessThomas MitchellsDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Adam Jarrell & Joel EmeryExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.The Offensive is property of Primley Limited.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
12/08/1921m 11s

2019/20 SEASON: Deadline Day

After a summer of discontent, another managerial sacking and a few (mostly Dutch) signings, the new season is almost underway. With the initial difficulties of the transfer window, Ashwood's troubles deepen after the release of an indecent image allegedly picturing a member of the playing staff. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Victoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdditional Voices:Allon SylvainJohn BrannochRhys TeesNalan BurgessThomas MitchellsDirected by:Adam JarrellEpisode written by:Joel Emery  Edited by:Adam Jarrell Executive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
08/08/1937m 19s

Episode 035 - Finale: Part 2

The game is underway. The only thing standing between Ashwood City and Europa League football is Fulham FC. Woody is still nowhere to be seen as the tentative first half draws to a close.Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan  Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Victoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdditional voices:Lucinda Shaw   Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.This is a Primley Limited Production.Copyright 2019  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
13/05/1923m 35s

Episode 034 - Finale: Part 1

The takeover is under threat with an unexpected victory at Leicester City. With other league results in their favour, Ashwood find themselves in 7th and currently qualifying for the UEFA Europa League; which would cancel the sale due to the current ownership's stipulations on European football. Patrick Nolan is left to find a way to ensure the deal goes through and the chances of finishing 7th are quashed.Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan  Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Victoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonRhys Tees as Hutch LewisElliot Gindi as Mohamed Al-ZawiAdditional voices:Nalan BurgessLucinda Shaw   Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.This is a Primley Limited Production.Copyright 2019  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
06/05/1924m 54s

Episode 033: Oman Where Art Thou

An immediate and unprecedented breakthrough in the future of Ashwood City as Omani billionaire Mohamed Al-Zawi prepares a £615m bid for the club. With the news spreading fast, Ashwood Head Coach Rod Meadows is preparing for life under the new regime.Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Helena Doughty as Jess TateVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonPaul Waggott as Patrick Nolan  Elliot Gindi as Mohamed Al-Zawi   Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
29/04/1921m 9s

Episode 032: Thrown to the Wolves

Whilst attending a team bonding week Patrick recounts to Woody his latest foray with Gary Briggs during the Easter weekend's victory against Wolverhampton Wanderers.Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall   Directed by:Adam Jarrell Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.  Listener discretion is advised  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
22/04/1926m 57s

Episode 031: Masters of the Universe

Patrick has met with Ashwood City owner Hutch Lewis at the US Masters in Augusta, Georgia to decide the future of their relationship and the club. Joining him on the business trip are Jess Tate and Chris 'Woody' Woodall who are taking in some of the golf that's on offer.Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan  Helena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallRhys Tees as Hutch Lewis  Additional voices:Lucinda ShawNalan BurgessVanessa EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
15/04/1922m 42s

Episode 030 - War Games

Off the back of the defeat to Liverpool; Ashwood are dealing with the fallout from Willy Amadou's celebration in which he used the corner flag to simulate gunfire. With the club under scrutiny, it would seem Patrick is going about his normal business in trying to throw Chief Operating Officer Gary Briggs under the bus.Helena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallVictoria Gibson as Alex Morrison  Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdditional voices:Alex MarshallThomas MitchellsLucinda Shaw  Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
08/04/1924m 26s

Episode 029: Singing in the Rain

With enormous pressure mounting on the club, Patrick has seen an opportunity to win over the support of the ownership by adapting Head Coach Rod Meadows negative tactics. Leading the playing-style negotiations is Chris 'Woody' Woodall; as the Sporting Director and Suspended Chairman attempt to have a say on what happens on the pitch.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Helena Doughty as Jess TateEpisode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
01/04/1931m 28s

Episode 028: The Ides of March

Patrick offers his conditions to withdraw as Chairman and return as Chief-Executive under Hutch's ownership. With the board refusing his offer, Patrick looks to take vengeance on their upcoming home fixture against Newcastle.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdditional voices:Nalan Burgess  Lucinda ShawLuke StevensonRhys TeesEpisode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
18/03/1926m 27s

Episode 027: From Borussia With Love

Ashwood City are looking to entertain various potential corporate clients and sponsors for next season; permitting Premier League survival. As the club look to send staff on various networking trips - Jess and Woody have made their own personal excursion to a more prestigious venue.Helena Doughty as Jess TateVictoria Gibson as Alex MorrisonAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan  Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
11/03/1922m 16s

Episode 026: An Englishman, An Irishman and A Scotsman

An Englishman, An Irishman and A Scotsman walk into a Barcelona training camp... Ashwood City send Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall to convince club hot prospect Javier Cabello to return to England and fulfill his schoolboy contract.Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Paul Bullion as Ethan JonesJohn Walsh Brannoch as Colin WalshPaul Waggott as Patrick Nolan   Additional voices:Lucinda Shaw Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
04/03/1922m 14s

Episode 025: Tour de Farce

After being suspended from the club, Patrick is exploring ways to get back into power. Old friends in low places secure him a meeting with a lawyer to assist. Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan  Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallGeorge Still as Geoff Monroe Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
25/02/1920m 17s

Episode 024: A Domestic Coup

Gary Briggs, the newly appointed Ashwood City Chief Operating Officer is finalising his contract along with Alex Morrison, a Marketing Director, as the club add key additions to their office staff. The new arrivals however; struggle to fit in with club stalwarts Jess Tate and Chris 'Woody' Woodall.Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan  Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallVictoria Gibson as Alex Morrison Additional voices:Rhys Tees Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
11/02/1921m 16s

Episode 023: You Can't Win Anything With Kids

Ashwood City have gone viral thanks to a racially motivated incident in a local McDonald's. Jess has arranged a trip to the Ashwood Children's Hospital to provide some much needed PR and connection with the young fanbase. In an effort to spread the joy; Patrick has arrived with some gifts from the club shop.Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan  Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional voices:Lucinda ShawRhys Tees Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
04/02/1923m 34s

Episode 022: Deadline Day

The Ivan Lloyd deal is in its final moments and the Ashwood City hierarchy contend with the unexpected appearance of Liverpool midfielder Harry Weaver in their staff car park.Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan  Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional voices:Lucinda ShawRhys Tees Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
01/02/1920m 13s

Episode 021: Cheques, Spies, Videotape

A leaked disgruntled conference held with the written press by Rod Meadows hits home following suspicious activity during a sports science program at the training ground. Tension is rising at the club as the likelihood of selling Ivan Lloyd suddenly becomes very real.Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan  Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional voices:Lucinda ShawLuke StevensonJoel Emery Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
21/01/1924m 2s

Episode 020: Staff Announcement

Back-to-back wins have put Ashwood into 14th and now they face the prospect of Crystal Palace at home. Pre-match, Ashwood are looking to announce a major new signing and have hired a specialist events company for the announcement.Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallNicola Kill as Kate Sinclair   Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright.Listener discretion is advised  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
14/01/1922m 57s

Episode 019: El Crapico

It's time for the FA Cup Third Round and The Kent Derby. Off the back of an encouraging run under new manager Rod Meadows the Ashwood City bus is stopped in its tracks outside Priestfield Stadium in Gillingham as the local crowds block its approach. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
07/01/1921m 14s

Episode 018: The Christmas Special One

MERRY CHRISTMAS The Offensive will return on Monday 7th January with an FA Cup special.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallRhys Tees as Hutch LewisOliver Dowling as Benedict RiceDenis Michallet as Felix GrosjeanJoel Emery as Dan WatsonEpisode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
24/12/1840m 47s

Episode 017: The Transfer Committee

With the transfer window opening in just over two weeks and with a new Head Coach lined up to replace the struggling Felix Grosjean; Ashwood are conducting their annual transfer committee. Amidst the chaotic player recruitment and research, Patrick is looking to sign his player that will secure funds for Thomas Fell and ensure Patrick receives 15% of the club for a cut price.Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Additional voices:Rhys TeesJoel Emery Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
17/12/1820m 37s

Episode 016: I'm A Chief Exec... Get Me Out of Here

As Ashwood are drawn against Kent rivals Gillingham in the FA Cup third round; Patrick has gone AWOL from the club as he attempts to close in on his purchase of the Ashwood City shares. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallMaude Hirst as Elaine Keller Additional voices:Joel EmeryOliver Dowling Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
10/12/1821m 24s

Episode 015: Good Klopp Bad Klopp

As Ashwood prepare for the visit of Liverpool, Patrick is infuriated following derogatory comments about Ashwood from Jurgen Klopp and various analysts within the mainstream media. In an effort to enact revenge and give Ashwood the upper hand in the game he and Woody take drastic steps. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional voices:Rhys TeesNalan BurgessJonny BlainJoel Emery Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
03/12/1820m 37s

Episode 014: Board Games

Another defeat - this time away to relegation candidates Huddersfield Town, leaves Ashwood in the bottom three for the first time this season. The ownership begin to have mixed feelings about their Head Coach Felix Grosjean; leaving Patrick, Jess and Woody tasked with planning for the future. For Patrick, the vote of confidence from the board members takes an opportunistic turn...  Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening, follow the club on twitter @AshwoodCity   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/11/1823m 42s

Episode 013: Battle of the Bastards

As Ashwood City combat a supporter protest during a game where both home and away fans have been banned; Woody is entering his third week of suspension, and is looking to make a comeback.Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan  Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  Additional voices:Omari DouglasSam HallahanLuke StevensonOliver DowlingSimon ShawRhys TeesEpisode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/11/1822m 7s

Episode 012: Snakes on a Train

As the scandal deepens and FA investigations continue, Head of Ethics: Benedict Rice, along with Chief Executive Patrick Nolan and the Vice Head of Football Operations Nick Bernardi have accompanied the playing staff aboard the train to Newcastle, as a show of solidarity for their upcoming fixture.  Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanSam Hallahan as Nick 'The Prick' BernardiOliver Dowling as Benedict Rice Additional voices:Joel Emery Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/11/1822m 42s

Episode 011: Boats on a Scandal

During the height of the media storm following The Portsmouth Matter, Ashwood face Cardiff City on the pitch and an FA investigation off it, courtesy of the new Ashwood City Director of Ethics; Benedict Rice. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess Tate     Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallOliver Dowling as Benedict Rice Additional voices:Omari DouglasRachel SummersJo PriceLucy-Jane QuinlanDean KilbeyJoel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCityHall of the Mountain King Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/11/1823m 10s

Episode 010: Lost in Translation

Ashwood City travel to Burnley after a disastrous and perplexing opening press conference for the new Head Coach; Felix Grosjean. The match takes a turn for the worse after a bust-up in the tunnel between Felix and Burnley manager Sean Dyche. Ashwood's problems deepen as the translator hired by Felix isn't fulfilling his duties.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallDenis Michallet as Felix Grosjean / Bruno DuvallAdditional voices:Omari DouglasNalan BurgessLuke StevensonJoel EmeryEpisode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/11/1820m 41s

Episode 009: The French Connection

Patrick and Woody are en route to Marseille to obtain the services of Head Coach Felix Grosjean, but a stumbling block is put in their place as the Marseille Chief-Executive is having second thoughts. Jess is tasked with keeping Chinese betting corporation, and Ashwood City shirt sponsor; iBET sweet, but heavy concessions are required.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAdditional voices:Omari DouglasDenis MichalletWen TheakerTrev NeoJoel EmeryJonny Sharples Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/11/1821m 34s

Episode 008: Out of Office

Following yet another defeat, this time at the hands of Chelsea; Ashwood City FC face action in the form of a last-minute supporter protest. With the club image in tatters, Jess is tasked with disrupting the protest and buying Ashwood some time - yet she has some commitments of her own.  Helena Doughty as Jess Tate  Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanLucy-Jane Quinlan as Erica  Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  Additional voices:Omari DouglasNalan Burgess Luke StevensonJoel EmeryOliver Dowling  Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/11/1823m 32s

Episode 007: Big Sam and Fries

Ashwood are moments away from hiring Big Sam as the ownership throw a last minute obstacle in their way. Meanwhile, as Liam Brightwell looks to take charge of his second game as caretaker manager, a disastrous Ashwood City tweet dismisses him from the club. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallDane Baptiste as Liam Brightwell Nalan Burgess as JaneLucy-Jane Quinlan as EricaRachel Summers as SimoneRhys Tees as Sam Green  Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/11/1820m 43s

Episode 006: Howe to Cheat Death

As Ashwood City failed to recruit a new manager during the international break they face Bournemouth with former under 23s coach Liam Brightwell as caretaker manager. Following the match Patrick is detained in Eddie Howe's office after a death threat is made on his life.   Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallDane Baptiste as Liam Brightwell Acushla-Tara Kupe as Helen Weston  Additional voices:Omari Douglas  Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/11/1820m 4s

Episode 005: Long Live The King

Following a huge result for Ashwood, Dan Watson's comments in a post-match interview leave reverberations around the club as Patrick, Jess and Woody attempt to curtail the lofty ambitions of their manager.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan Watson Additional voices:Jo PriceLucinda ShawOmari DouglasSirena RileySuzie HoulihanRhys TeesLarner Wallace-Taylor  Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/11/1826m 35s

Episode 004: The Last Supper

On the eve of their game at Crystal Palace; Patrick, Woody and Dan have met for dinner in London. As the night progresses Dan becomes increasingly frustrated that his expected dinner guest in Roy Hodgson is yet to show.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan WatsonAdditional voices:Omari DouglasRhys TeesRaphaela Israel-Öbeñg Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel Emery WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/11/1820m 27s

Episode 003: The Prince of Harkness

In their first home game of the season, Ashwood City play host to Brighton as stadium developments cause havoc. Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallAdditional voices:Omari DouglasRhys TeesOliver DowlingDean Kilbey  Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/11/1821m 18s

Episode 002: The Biter from the Balkans

Ashwood get their season underway at Vicarage Road as some serious foul play from their Croatian midfielder leaves Head of Communications Jess Tate clearing up the mess.  Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall Additional voices:Jo PriceOmari DouglasRhys TeesOliver Dowling  Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/11/1820m 13s

Episode 001: Transfer Deadline Day

Join Ashwood City FC on deadline day as the club's lack of spending during the window sparks an internal crisis. After manager Dan Watson appears on national radio to air his frustrations regarding a quiet transfer window, club Chief-Executive Patrick Nolan is left with his Sporting Director Chris 'Woody' Woodall to try and get a handle on things.Paul Waggott as Patrick NolanHelena Doughty as Jess TateAdam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' WoodallJoel Emery as Dan Watson Additional voices:Jo PriceLucinda ShawOmari DouglasSirena RileyRhys TeesOliver DowlingDenis Michallet  Episode written by:Joel EmeryDirected by:Adam JarrellEdited by:Adam JarrellExecutive Producer:Joel EmeryWARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised. Thanks for listening to The Offensive. Follow the club @AshwoodCity  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
27/11/1822m 18s
-
-
Heart UK