Elis James and John Robins

Elis James and John Robins

By BBC Radio 5 Live

Join the UK's youngest and most relevant broadcasters Elis James and John Robins for your twice-weekly dose of big laughs and top quality #content. Hilarious, welcoming and unashamedly ashamed, let these two best friends keep you company every Tuesday and Friday.

Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk WhatsApp: 07974293022 #elisandjohn

Episodes

#312 - Swansea Spielberg, Mooning Armada and a Stain on Global Culture

According to the Full Moon Calendar, we're still three weeks away from the next biggest moony of them all: the moon. However, that didn't stop Elis and John from getting teary eyed at the glories of mooning past and the relative dearth of mooning present. It was an intensely valuable chat charting modern British social history, and one you certainly won't want to miss.Elsewhere, the boys also hear of Winkler on the Otley Run, there's some belting new listener jingles and the idea of 'Elis and John: The Musical' is floated.
01/03/2455m 18s

#311 - Bonce Funk, Improving Esperanto and The Audio Foyer

There's an old saying in the English language: 'A watched pot never boils'. But thankfully, the same doesn't apply to other forms of technology, because a watched smart speaker DOES boil out content, to the tune of twice-weekly podcasts featuring the two of the UK's finest broadcasters, Elis James and John Robins. So grab a seat, reach for your favourite mug, and prepare for it to be filled to the brim with boiling hot chat.In this episode John crumbles during a Made Up Game, there's an all-time great Shame Well, Producer Dave shows off his TV presenting skills (think Kerry from Succession), and we hear your Celebrity Slams.
27/02/241h 19m

#310 - Didgeridinners, Our Oprah and Telford Is A Tear Duct

An alien lands on Earth. As an audiophile, the first thing they do when they touch down is press play on the Elis and John podcast to get a taste of the planet's podcasting output. Instantly, they realise that Earth is the place to be, as their ear nubs are thrilled by pulse-setting topics such as Dronfield and the tip. They feel... home.In other content the boys chat to an insider on the frontline of the Chesterfield Conundrum, John experiences a Damascene moment whilst watching telly and there's salivation at the prospect of Chiles on the decks.
23/02/241h 4m

#309 - Condo Cheese, Stepdad Energy and Psychic Hangovers

Still aching after their Digital Decade celebrations, Elis and John somehow managed to find the strength to dust themselves off and begin traipsing along the long road towards their 20 year broadcasting milestone. Who knows what lies ahead for them, but you can bet that there's going to be plenty of fun along the way (as well as the distinct possibility that Elis retires on a super yacht thanks to his multi-billion pound net worth).In this week's episode there's a Made Up Game that takes the boys back to their school days, a listener all the way from AMERICA calls in, wheelie bins are debated in Petty Parliament, and once again there's a thorough discussion about things from the past. Enjoy!To get in touch, send an email to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.
20/02/241h 16m

#308 - The Double Ds, O'Doherty Ditties and A Lesson In Jingles

As the sun sets on a digitised decade of content for Messrs James and Robins, it was only fitting to celebrate 10 years of broadcasting badinage with a little bit of retrospective reflection.Amongst the fun, a very special surprise guest pops by, a whole host of friendly voices pop up to pass on their best wishes, plus the show’s decade-long theme of Shame is finally put to superb use in the classroom.Thanks for listening. Here’s to 10 More Years!
16/02/241h 31m

#307 - Pleasure Parity, Content Camaraderie and A Thumbless Month

Tuesday: in the past it was often looked at as one of the less-favourable days of the week. The weekend feels miles away, you're still not even half way through the working week... not ideal. However, since Elis James and John Robins started releasing two episodes a week Tuesdays have gone through something of a rebrand. Tuesdays are now COOL! They're a day to look forward to. If anything, you could say that Tuesday is the new Friday (in that it's a day when a new episode of the podcast is released). Basically, what we're trying to say is that Tuesdays are great because you get to enjoy another dose of Elis, John and Producer Dave.In this episode we hear one of the all-time great Shame Well stories that's been added into the hall of fame, John shares an injury he picked up whilst racing against someone in fancy dress, Elis imagines what it would be like to score a goal for Swansea City, and everyone gets a bit jealous of this week's guest in "Around The World in 80 Daves".To get in touch, send an email to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.
13/02/241h 12m

#306 - The Banter Box, Six Feet From Stardom and Where's Lincoln?

The content machine is now well and truly oiled up and ploughing ahead at lightning speed, as Elis James and John Robins release their SECOND podcast of the week! If the prospect of two podcasts a week is daunting to you fear not: the beauty of podcasts means you're able to listen whenever you like; be that on a train, in a car, or in a sauna with a bunch of your best pals. "Someone pass me a cold towel, this banter is steaming hot!" one might shout (in a sauna, not on a train).In what some are called a more "relaxed" episode, this time round the guys discussed more things that you think are "cool", a listener from Switzerland gets in touch, and the question is raised about whether Chesterfield is in the north or south of the UK.To get in touch, email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk
09/02/241h 8m

#305 - Anxious Orange, Alpha Max Force and A Tartt Tip-Off

Tuesday 6th February 2024: a day that will go down in history as the day that broadcasting changed forever. Was it because we saw the launch of a brand new digital radio station that solely broadcasts the sound of the M6 motorway? Not yet; but give it time. No, the date in question is so significant because it saw the UK’s youngest radio presenters being transformed into the UK’s youngest podcasters. That’s right: the brand new Elis James and John Robins podcast is finally here; and it's double the content, double the satisfaction (if focus groups are to be believed).To kick off the new-look show the guys launch two BRAND NEW features, Elis shares an anecdote about ravers from Suffolk, a very special guest drops by, and Producer Dave treats us all to a celebratory poem. Boy it’s good to be back.To get in touch, send an email to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.
06/02/241h 30m

The Great Reset: 'Broadcasting Britain Back Better'

The launch of the brand new Elis James and John Robins podcast is days away, and as the finishing touches are being added attention turns to how the boys can maximise audience growth.Elis and John are back BIGGER AND BETTER from 6th February, with red hot content now released on Tuesday AND Friday every week; returning with groundbreaking features, scintillating chat and anecdotal gold that'll blow your BBC Sounds sock off.You'll also be able to relive the fun on 5 Live on Fridays afternoons from 1pm.To get in touch, email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk
02/02/245m 24s

The Great Reset: 'Igniting the Spark'

Elis, John and Producer Dave are busy working on the relaunch of their brand new podcast, but with the launch date fast approaching they've decided to turn to one of the most celebrated creatives of their generation for advice.Elis and John are back BIGGER AND BETTER from 6th February, with red hot content now released on Tuesday AND Friday every week; returning with groundbreaking features, scintillating chat and anecdotal gold that'll blow your BBC Sounds sock off.You'll also be able to relive the fun on 5 Live on Fridays afternoons from 1pm.To get in touch, email to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.
30/01/246m 31s

The Great Reset: 'A Digital Empire'

Preparations for the brand new Elis James and John Robins podcast are well under way, and the guys are now turning their attention to one of the most important aspects of the show: #content.Elis and John are back BIGGER AND BETTER from 6th February, with red hot content now released on Tuesday AND Friday every week; returning with groundbreaking features, scintillating chat and anecdotal gold that'll blow your BBC Sounds sock off.You'll also be able to relive the fun on 5 Live on Fridays afternoons from 1pm.To get in touch, email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.
26/01/248m 4s

The Great Reset: 'Let's Kick This Show Off the Road'

With the launch of their brand new podcast fast approaching, Elis, John and Producer Dave have decided to meet up at the BBC to begin planning. There's plenty to discuss, but things are already off to a shaky start.Elis and John are back BIGGER AND BETTER from 6th February, with red hot content now released on Tuesday AND Friday every week; returning with groundbreaking features, scintillating chat and anecdotal gold that'll blow your BBC Sounds sock off.You'll also be able to relive the fun on 5 Live on Fridays afternoons from 1pm.To get in touch, email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk
23/01/246m 49s

#304 - Elis James and John Robins: The Best of 2023

Bob Marley once sang "In this bright future you can't forget your past", and it's those very words that have once again inspired Elis James and John Robins to look back at another 12 months of world class #content. Whether it be sexy tax calendars, riffs about the weather, or discussing Producer Dave's vasectomy, there's been something for everyone this year, and this is your chance to join us for our end of year celebration. 2024 might see the guys waving goodbye to their live radio show, but it's good news for you the listener, as you'll soon be getting DOUBLE Elis and John.
29/12/231h 42m

#303 - Robbyns Resolutions, Secret Scents and Chaff Tuesday

Christmas is just around the corner, and whilst many people up and down the country are winding down for the festive period here on the Elis James and John Robins show we’re turbocharging our ideas machine as we continue our march towards the ultimate destination: BBC Sounds. Does what you’ve just read make sense? Not necessarily, but all you need to understand is that after a short break in January Elis and John will be back bigger and better than ever. Before then, however, we just have the small task of getting YOU ready for a fully festive weekend (it’s the Producer Dave dream).This week’s show was nothing short of extraordinary. Not only did we hear the last ever episode of DI Robbyns, we also had a live performance of the greatest theme tune of all time, a rundown of all the stats behind the Made Up Games played since May 2019, and a DJ LEGEND joined us for a Petty Parliament.Have a wonderful Christmas, and we’ll see you very soon.
22/12/232h 5m

#302 - Sounds & Sons, David D. Craddock and Two Sides of the Groin

Elis, John and Producer Dave embodied the very definition of 'the voice of the UK' for today's show, as they once again broadcast from locations that were literally hundreds of miles apart. How was that possible? Well, thanks to a little piece of magic we in the biz like to call "technology". As always, the guys didn't let distance get in the way of a good time, and if anything being a safe distance from each other merely added to the giddiness; making Producer Dave turn grey on no less than five occasions. John debates whether he should be tipping his refuse collectors, Elis discusses his undercarriage cleaning technique, Producer Dave attempts to explain exactly what's happening to the show in 2024, and a surprise phone call casts the future of one of our favourite features into doubt.
15/12/232h 3m

#301 - Going Grain, Hannon Handshakes and Peak Bleak

With the end of the year fast approaching the hot topic on everyone's lips is forgiveness. Whether it be the person that accidentally spilled a can of lager all over your laptop, or the football player that scored the goal that relegated your favourite team, it's time for those feelings of negativity from the past year to be let go. However, some beefs stretch back further than 12 months... some even more than 12 years. Yes, on this week's show John Robins sought to end a two decade-long beef that he's had against one-time Queen-disliker Neil Hannon, lead singer of The Divine Comedy. Would Elis and Producer Dave be able to keep the studio calm enough for a civil discussion to take place? Well, why not jump into today's podcast to find out.As well as all the usual fun, Tony Livesey revealed a missed career opportunity, there's a Made Up Game that the guys performed surprisingly well in, John told us about his fun New Years Eve plans and Elis decided to share his much-anticipated review of John's recent stand up show.
08/12/232h 4m

#300 - Digital Decades, Comedic Offbeatsman and Basic Podcast Strategy

Back in May 2019 who would have thought that Elis James and John Robins, battered and bruised by a barrage of texts and tweets bemoaning their recent appointment at 5 Live, would eventually go on to reach episode 300 of their show, all whilst capturing the hearts and minds of radio listeners up and down the country? The correct answer is that nobody thought it would have been possible, and if you’d have seen the text console on that day you’d be forgiven for thinking they wouldn’t last three shows, let alone 300. Yet here they stand today, hand in hand, triumphantly towering over the UK radio landscape they have so valiantly conquered and made their own. BBC Radio Elis and John? Yeah, that’s probably not too far off either.As today was such a big occasion, we thought it only right to celebrate appropriately. John yawned on air three times, Elis complained about having a headache, Producer Dave shared a Made Up Game involving the weight of dishwasher tablets, and a huge announcement got potentially hampered due to some top quality riffing.
01/12/232h 9m

#299 - Pylon Following, 50 Under 50 and Lou’s Big Birthday

Due to factors there was no live show today, but that doesn’t mean we were ever going to leave you high and dry without your weekly dose of content. No, we’ve proven time and time again that nothing can stop us from #creating #content, so strap yourself in for a fast and loose podcast-only version of the Elis James and John Robins show, with special guest presenter (and birthday girl) Lou Sanders!It was an action packed outing today, with plenty of fun for everyone. There’s another edition of John’s Motorway Musings, Lou shares a BRAND NEW jingle that she’s created, Producer Dave describes his favourite type of music and an age-old question about escalators is answered.
24/11/231h 16m

#298 - Tahini Trouble, Jivo Graham and Ruddy Angry

John Robins - the most dedicated comedian in the UK - is continuing his mammoth UK tour, which means that he wasn’t able to make it into the studio for this week’s show. Thankfully for you the you the listener, that meant it was a rollover week. The top prize on offer? That’s right, Ivo Graham! So grab your tickets, check your numbers, and get ready to be made a #content millionaire.It was a show jam packed with everything you’d ever want from two hours of broadcasting. There was a Made Up Game that tested the guys’ creativity (and Tony Livesey’s patience), Elis gave some potentially inaccurate advice about the process of ripening fruit, Ivo taught us about what’s coming up in the big-hitting locations of Coventry and Liverpool, and Producer Dave got his heart broken during a scripted intro.
17/11/232h 4m

#297 - Sexy Snails, Retired Waistcoats and Ice Cream Calamity

Like the very concept of time itself John’s tour continues to march forward at pace, as he aims to visit every stand-up comedy venue in the country. That meant that Elis and Producer Dave were one man short in the studio, but thankfully the big wigs at 5 Live had a more than capable replacement waiting in the wings. Step forward everyone’s favourite son of Swindon... Ivo Graham!Today’s show was packed to the rafters with classic content. Ivo debuted a brand new feature, we heard another edition of John’s Motorway Musings, Producer Dave - one again - was getting ready for the weekend, and Elis got confused by a Made Up Game that eventually went on to become an 8/10 classic. Enjoy!
10/11/232h 18m

#296 - PDF Radio, Tourbasco and A Bag of Prawns

CAT FEVER struck the studio today; quite literally, as it turns out that Elis James is allergic to the two little kittens that he's welcomed into his life. John's envy was palpable, but does that mean he's going to be introducing some feline friends into his homestead? That's yet to be decided, but given how excited he was about Elis's cat news we wouldn't be surprised if two more cats joined Yaya, Kolo, Cleo and Uncle Todd in the 5 Live cat gang very soon.Elsewhere on the show, John helps out some of our younger listeners in Ask John, Elis discusses entering the 44th year of his life, Producer Dave learns about a radio comedy-drama that's based on his life, and there's a Made Up Game that can only be described as "clunky yet fun".
03/11/232h 17m

#295 - Badmin, Comedy Tapas and Making Uncertain Memories

It’s been some year for Elis James, and nobody deserves a break more than him (though John might argue the case against that claim). Yes, this week he decided to treat his family to a well-deserved getaway on the continent… the only problem being that he forgot to make anyone involved with the show aware of this until about five days ago. Thankfully, it takes a lot more than a presenter going AWOL to make us lose our heads, and within mere hours we had a special guest lined up capable of filling anyone's shoes. That’s right, joining us for the show this week was friend of the show and comedian extraordinaire Ania Magliano!
27/10/232h 14m

#294 - Derbyshire Disrespect, Fruity Boy & Veg Head and Vibing On Ice

John - similar to a comedy version of The Rolling Stones - just doesn't want to stop touring, meaning that for the second week on the bounce he wasn't around for the show. So, with an empty seat next to Elis we needed someone who'd be able to carry the show with a sense of responsibility... a sense of hubris... dare we say a sense of fun? Well, obviously there was only one person for the job: your friend and mine, Lou Sanders! And like a defensive midfielder being brought onto the pitch during injury time she calmed everyone down, took control of the situation and saw out the game.It was a very fun show today; Elis gives a BAFTA worthy performance in DI Robbyns, Lou shares some MASSIVE news (that's actually already out there), Producer Dave gets excited about a Ricky Hatton anecdote and a brand new produce-based radio duo is born!And remember, listener: "Today's radio will eventually become a podcast at some point."
20/10/232h 9m

#293 - The Darkness of Dave, Hoi Polloi and Jacqueline Wilson (A)

Listener: this is both an apology AND a warning. An apology for being naive enough to think that someone might like to share a harmless anecdote about directing footballing icon Pele to a toilet with the nation... and a warning to anyone who thinks that using a joke name is an easy and amusing way of throwing Elis James off his stride. You just thank your lucky stars that radio hardman John Robins wasn't in the studio to deal with you, and instead the gentle giant Ivo Graham was playing the role of co-host. It's a good job he and Elis are fleet-footed broadcasters, because it would take more than a practical joke to make them flounder (perhaps something like asking them to do an Irish accent on the fly would do the trick). Now that's out the way, today's show was a thoroughly enjoyable affair! Ivo used his huge brain to solve some listener problems in 'Ask Ivo', we heard some more listener renditions of the DI Robbyns theme tune, and dare we say we heard the most dramatic ending to a Made Up Game of all time. You won't want to miss it.
13/10/232h 13m

#292 - Smelting Success, Powerful Honey and The Arena of Worry

Like The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and Roachford before him, John continues to live the touring life; aiming to perform stand up at every location in the UK with a population of over 3000. And whilst this ambitious task is cheered on by Elis and Producer Dave, it does make broadcasting live radio slightly more difficult, so once again this week's show is a special pre-recorded affair. Double the fun, triple the content, quadruple the time to edit!The guys celebrate a recent award win, Elis talks about his tired eyes, John performs an uncanny Tim Buckley impression, and Producer Dave oversees one of the greatest Made Up Games of all time.
06/10/231h 45m

#291 - Mancunian Positive John (Bonus #Content)

Ryder Cup action is taking over BBC 5 Live, meaning there was no live show from Elis James and John Robins this week... But fear not, as we have a right treat in store for you.You've heard 'Desert Islands Discs'... You've enjoyed the audio soundscape that is 'The Archers'... But in this special bonus podcast you're about to hear something that nobody has ever dared to attempt due to the sheer level of broadcasting prowess required to pull it off. That's right, prepare to experience one presenter doing an impression of all four members of The Beatles whilst another presenter hand grinds their own coffee beans. Enjoy!
29/09/2341m 35s

#290 - Giftshop Gripes, D-Reamits and We Go To Tunbridge Wells

With John embarking on a 200+ date world tour taking in Salford, Canterbury, Huddersfield, and then Salford again, the man whose modus operandi is emotionally hefty comedy requires a mental break every so often. However, not one to let the listener miss out on their weekly dose of #content he insisted on making Elis and Producer Dave join him to pre-record a show. If there's one thing he ain't, it's dedicated!As well as all the usual fun, Elis gets vocal in his sleep and channels the 'Voice of the Balls', and John cuts through the noise on the failures of parenting.
22/09/231h 39m

#289 - Primary Porkies, Theatre Thickos and Fun In The Fens

Look up the word 'content' in the Oxford English Dictionary and it reads "n. Elis James and John Robins' show on BBC Radio 5 Live, 2-4pm 15th September 2023". For what a busy week it's been for Messrs James and Robins!Elis both continues his quest to become Carmarthenshire's most cultured man AND finds time to grace several Baltic states, whilst John has played Norwich's smallest venue not once but twice(!).We are also graced with a truly classic(al) theme tune, a 24 karat gold stick it on the mantelpiece Shame Well and some city-sized news from Dave.
15/09/232h 1m

#288 - Auction Action, DI Dre and Thought Knox

For the first time in what’s felt like years Elis, John and Producer Dave were finally reunited in Central London this week, and just like any other family reunion a wide range of emotions were experienced during the show: excitement (from John checking on the Freddie Mercury auction), frustration (from Producer Dave, because John kept checking on the Freddie Mercury auction), and love (from Elis, amazed at John’s dedication to checking in on the Freddie Mercury auction).Away from all the Queen chat, Robbie Knox - the brand new landlord of The Moon Under Water - stopped by to say hello before submitting a law into the Petty Parliament, a DI Robbyns cover to rival Goldie Lookin' Chain was sent in by a listener, Producer Dave shared his drumming ambitions and the BBC canteen benefitted from a massive cake order (eventually).
08/09/232h 5m

#287 - Memoirhahas, Cat Flap Chaos and Tessellation Turmoil

After a month long loan deal expired, Edinburgh returned John Robins. So Robins, free from the Scottish capital's creative buzz and extortionate rental prices returned to the studio... to broadcast to Britain and the world. But today he was not with his companion of norm.With Elis away on a sojourn for Isy's birthday, Lou Sanders filled his boots to a supreme degree. The expert on self herself. And what a breath of fresh electric car air she brought. Meanwhile, John tabled some big stepdad energy, we interact with a spirited antipodean and, in a world first, Dave gets shouted down while reading the rules to a Made Up Game.
01/09/231h 59m

#286 - Sesame Oil Surfeits, Nature's Printer and Seagull Supporters

It’s been some month for Johnny JR. Not only did he decide to take on the mammoth task of performing over 700 stand up shows across 31 days, he also remained dedicated to representing 5 Live right from the heart of the Edinburgh Fringe. But with the finish line in sight, and his spirit slowly dwindling, there was just enough time to squeeze in one final live broadcast: and what could make him feel better than having his housemate for the festival, Rob Auton, critique John on his living standards?!As well as being joined by one of the finest comics out there, Elis shared his love of haggis, Producer Dave struggled to imitate his own voice numerous times, and there was a Made Up Game that went right down to the wire (featuring one of the biggest bottle-jobs of all time).
25/08/231h 50m

#285 - Elis and John Live from Edinburgh

Elis and John venture to both the final boss and tutorial of the comedy world. That's right... Edinburgh! To mark the occasion a live audience descended on Scotland's premier planetarium / part-time comedy venue / largest interactive visitor attraction, and a show of Knebworth level proportions ensued.For these versatile entertainers the smell of the crowd, the taste of the laughter, and the lack of a live live broadcast brought out 20% more playfulness than when shackled away in a studio; lucky for you listening on the podcast.Comics Ania Magliano and David O'Doherty grace us with their wit, the team make real hard work of a Made Up Game and John redefines stand-up.
18/08/231h 41m

#284 - Maximum Mystery, Trainecdotes and Internal Risk Assessments

With Elis taking a much deserved holiday, this week John found himself all alone in Edinburgh. But just as it looked like the faders were going to be opened without someone there to act as the ying to his yang, someone walked into the studio not just full of pep… but be-ploughmanned. Who would be so daring as to eat such a meal whilst broadcasting to the nation? Well, obviously there’s only one answer to that question: it was this week's guest co-presenter and all round legend Ivo Graham!With John and Ivo presenting live and direct from the Scottish capital you just knew there was going to be a whole host of fun on today’s show. Janine Harouni joined the guys to chat about her Fringe experience so far and submit a law into Petty Parliament, Producer Dave tried to SILENCE the news, Ivo attempted to fill in for Elis on DI Robbyns and John realised that he might not love pickled eggs as much as he once thought.
11/08/232h 9m

#283 - Minor Key Comedy, Same Old Larkin and Frank Skinner

The Edinburgh Fringe. The centre of the comedy universe. And the beaming hot star at the centre of said universe, of which every other planet orbits, is the gas giant that is John Robins. Although he’s performing two shows per day whilst up in Scotland he’s still committed to providing the nation with much needed radio. Elis and Producer Dave? Well, they’re holding the fort in London, thus showing that Radio 5 Live truly is the voice of the nation.But it’s not just John who was in our studio north of the border. The legend that is Frank Skinner dropped by to talk about his new show, as well as enacting a law into Petty Parliament. Plus, there's a Made Up Game resembling a comedian’s fever dream, Tony Livesey reveals his bizarre showering routine, and the Brandy Lady makes another appearance.
04/08/232h 8m

#282 - Oldroyd Sorbet, #Biceps and A Macchichatiato

As the old saying goes “distance makes the heart grow fonder”. But after taking a three week break from live radio in order to make way for 5 Live’s world beating sports coverage, Elis and John proved something else: “distance makes the arms grow beefier”. Yes, 21 days off the radio has given Johnny JR plenty of time to continue his journey to becoming the world's buffest man, and the guys returned to the studio ready to crush any topic put in front of them (though to be honest, given how pumped he looks John was definitely leading the charge).There was a Made Up Game that focused on Elis’s often negative mentality to competition, John hounded his co-presenter about something he’d recently had bestowed upon him, Producer Dave’s beloved Manchester City takes a hit in Petty Parliament, and the single greatest piece of audio ever recorded wass sent into the show… You knows it.
28/07/232h 4m

#281 - It’s A Blunderful Life (Bonus #Content)

With #Sport once again keeping our hosts off the airwaves of 5 Live, we find Elis, John and Producer Dave in fine fettle as things remain ‘loosey goosey’ for one final week with this bonus podcast.Elis blows our minds with a blunder revelation that leaves everyone reeling, John comes close to admitting there may be such a thing as too much golf, and Producer Dave enters a Peter Beagrie (Man City, 94-97) reverie whilst painting his garage.
21/07/231h 3m

#280 - Suit, Shoes and Swimming Trunks (Bonus #Content)

There's a real broadcasting buffet on offer today from Elis, John and Producer Dave, as they once again humbly stepped aside so the nation could continue to follow the historic Wimbledon tennis tournament uninterrupted; and given they were provided with the world's vaguest running order, who knew which direction the conversation was going to meander. Thankfully for you, listener, it wended its way right into your hearts and minds (and also your podcast feeds).A listener sends in a banging remix of everyone's favourite theme tune, John loses his calm about the prospect of calming himself down, Elis shares his recent 'Double Blur' experience, and Producer Dave provides the guys with some more listener Qs that need an A.
14/07/2348m 59s

#279 - CCC: Customer Condiment Control (Bonus #Content)

ELIS AND JOHN LIVE AT THE EDINBURGH FRINGE IS NOW FULLY BOOKEDBBC 5 Live is committed to providing every single type of content out there. Tennis? Check. Golf? You bet! Pétanque? Give it time. So when Elis and John were informed that they weren't going to be on air for a few weeks to make way for more classic world-beating sporting coverage it came as no surprise, and thankfully plans had already been put in place to make sure that you the you the listener weren't left short on your weekly quota of chat.In this free-flow podcast the guys share an exciting announcement, there's more ploughman's correspondence, Dave hosts a listener-driven Q&A, and there's a discussion around the sports most suitable for radio.
07/07/2356m 3s

#278 - Stage Time Stresses, Dignity Biscuits and A Barrel of Eggs

Elis and John aren’t on air for a large portion of July, as 5 Live continues to fill its public service broadcasting remit by providing world-beating sports coverage. With their holidays just around the corner (don’t worry, there’ll still be weekly bonus podcasts for you all to enjoy) an air of giddy excitement descended on the studio, with Producer Dave pulling out all the stops to try and tame radio’s most unproducable duo.There was a Made Up Game for the biscuit purists amongst you, a Petty Parliament suggestion that was met with unanimous agreement, there was ANOTHER twist in 'DI Robbyns', and the guys put poor Nick Wallis through his paces during his first ever appearance on the show (sorry Mrs Wallis).
30/06/231h 52m

#277 - Glastonbury Gripes, Fiscal Vasectomies and Perfect Ploughmi

Recently, dreams turning into reality has become quite a regular occurrence on the show. First, John became the buffest broadcaster in Britain. Then, Producer Dave’s beloved Manchester City won the Champions League for the first time, completing a historic treble. But today, the biggest of dreams was realised… That’s right: everyone’s favourite support cigarette - Fagsy - was brought to life, and the feeling of love in the studio was palpable.Elsewhere, there’s a Made Up Game all about Glastonburys gone by, a Petty Parliament caller dials in with a Glastonbury practice that he wants outlawed, Elis reminisces about a time he went to Glastonbury, and John has some rather interesting thoughts on the world-beating Glastonbury coverage being provided by the BBC across the Glastonbury festival.
23/06/231h 50m

#276 - King Vinegar, Precinct Penchants and the Magic of Chiles

The ‘Hometown Triumvirate’ is a rare occurrence in the world of radio. A collector’s item, some might say. Well today, completists got their wish, with Carmarthen, Bristol and ‘the north’ being the respective locations of Elis, John and Producer Dave, as the BBC’s world-beating broadcasting infrastructure was pushed to its very limits, all in the name of cross country content.Ethernets, modems, ISDN lines and the internet (general) all played their part as features old and new were rolled out. Episode 2 of new audio drama DI Robbyns once again left listeners on the edge of their seats, the lightboards switched up as our fleet-footed hosts juggled a plethora of text topics, plus the dulcet tones of Adrian Chiles made for an unforgettable Made Up Game.Enjoy!
16/06/231h 43m

#275 - Bumbag Bravado, Remunerationships and Adam From Bungay

New studio, new Elis James and John Robins? Not a chance; no matter how many times one disgruntled listener might text into the show they’ll never change their loveable ways! However, change was certainly afoot content wise, as the guys launched a brand spanking new feature which ticks all of Producer Dave’s boxes (except maybe getting people ready for the weekend). Yes, you’re about to hear the very first episode of DI Robbyns - and no, this isn’t a Radio 4 podcast.Elsewhere, John comes up with about thirty different text topics, Elis shares his love for the inimitable Mr Urdd, Producer Dave brags about a recent purchase and a listener shares their musical talents LIVE on air.
09/06/232h 8m

#274 - Date City Central, Forty Slinks and Reece With A Spoon

‘Excitement’ was the word on everyone’s lips at the BBC today… and for good reason. First, they were excited about the fact that the wonderful Lou Sanders was sitting in for Elis whilst he treated himself to a luxury spa break in Montenegro. Then, the excitement grew even more as John entered the studio looking more buff than ever before. And just when we thought the excitement couldn’t grow any more, Producer Dave announced he was off to relive his early 20s by going to see the Arctic Monkeys. And with that, the holy trinity of excitement was sorted, perfectly placed to surf the radio waves.There’s a real treat in store for you today, featuring the following audible accoutrements: a listener talking about the time they were outwitted by a pigeon, John channelling his inner local radio presenter, Lou absolutely destroying her co-presenter in a scripted intro, and Producer Dave trying his best to stay balanced in a Made Up Game.
02/06/232h 6m

#273 - Kwik Save Clothes, Tallinn Jokes and Big Bisc

It’s a good job that the microphones in Broadcasting House are on adjustable mic stands, because for today’s show self-certified posh person Sir Elis James was presenting from atop a felt-lined throne, whilst the peasants that are John and Producer Dave were forced to sit on upturned wooden buckets, never once making eye contact with his highness. And as an offering to the people, Sir James presented a venerable feast of content… the broadest content in the land!John shares a teary Turkish restaurant tale, the guys come up with their own range of soft toys, someone mistakes James Bond for Ed Miliband and Elis gives us an insight into his favourite darts chants.
26/05/232h 15m

#272 - Noodle Season, Taunton Pastrami and Foyer Residencies

What do you get if you cross an elite-level goalkeeper, a man carrying a chopping board in his rucksack and someone who just can’t wait to get ready for the weekend? That’s right, you get the Elis James and John Robins show on BBC 5 Live. And whilst Elis never did get a chance to show off his chopping skills, he did get a chance to slice through some freshly picked correspondence about what weird advice listeners have been given (which was much more interesting than the onion-based fun we had planned).There was a rather controversial Made Up Game, we heard a toilet tale that stoked the embers of shame, the age-old question “How do you get a wolf to trust you?” is answered, and a listener shared their grievances with how people say “Goodbye… bye… bye… bye”.
19/05/232h 10m

#271 - Fragrant Disregard, Druids In Need and The Man of Steele

Is there anything more scintillating than overhearing three good friends goofing around on national radio? Well according to Producer Dave there is, and it's catching the scent of a handsome man eating eggs Benedict on a quiet Friday morning. But unlike radio, you can't Shazam a fragrance, so instead Dave decided to put his Northern charm to good use and find out exactly why this man's aroma was so wonderful. It turns out the cost of smelling good is £200, so it's safe to say that Dave is sticking to his good old can of Lynx.Away from all the 'smelltalk', ahead of a big goalkeeping performance John was given some tips from a former professional shot-stopper, there was some real snackable content in a Made Up Game, we heard the story of an old tin of meat, and Elis provided us with one of the greatest anecdotes of all time.Oh, and for the triangulation fans amongst you, the the centre point for today's broadcast was just west of Stratford on the A46. Strap in!
12/05/232h 10m

#270 - Toddler Tatts, Centenary Sprinters and Own Brand Stout

With the coronation of King Charles III just hours away, Elis and John were giddy with excitement in a balanced and compliant way, with streets parties, Union Jack body paint and temporary Royal tattoos all extolled when discussing weekend plans.And yet even with the chaps’ eager anticipation reaching fever pitch, it’s incredible to think they were still able to compose themselves for a top tier parliamentary Made Up Game, a fascinating ‘this is your life’ chat with fellow 5 Liver Tony Livesey, and an incredibly detailed discussion about aftershave.
05/05/232h 29m

#269 - Bonus Mobility, Long Awaited Wazzes and Aggers On Dressage

‘Informative… punctual… fun’. These are all words you’d associate with a consummate broadcaster. But ‘bravery’? No, that’s an adjective that’s reserved for one broadcaster and one broadcaster only. That’s right: John Robins. He doesn’t just say what he thinks people want to hear, he says what he thinks others need to hear; and nobody (especially Producer Dave) can stop him. So if you want your weekly fix of bravery, you’re in the right place.John is handed the baton of improvisation, we hear some wonderful retirement dreams, Elis questions some of the refereeing decisions during a Made Up Game, and there is a Shame Well that royally cracks up the studio.
28/04/232h 17m

#268 - The Royal Tab, Insanity Platters and DI Robbyns

Elis has returned from Dave's favourite continent sunkissed and with renewed vigour. As he saw the On Air light blink red there was a determination is his voice that he was going to carry John on this show no matter how much muscle the man from Buffinghamshire has put on.Thankfully, there was no need for such strenuous exertion as John arrived in peak comedic fitness. He dug into Elis's bold breakfast choices at the hotel buffet and in a radio first listed every single mug that you can find in his cupboard. That's 16, to be precise.Also expect an assonance-heavy Made Up Game and a caller who got the boys purring.
21/04/232h 3m

#267 - Atomic Bum, Apologetic Moshing and Yo Shoeshi

Over the past few months it’s been well documented that Elis James is the busiest man on earth, so this week he decided to take some much needed time off to top up his tan / vibe stores. But who could keep his seat warm whilst he keeps himself warm in Portugal? There was only one man for the job: everyone’s favourite Old Etonian (depending on which newspaper you read), the one and only Ivo Graham! And just like a loan player looking to make their mark in lower league football, he wasn’t content with sitting on the bench! He got stuck in from the first minute, gave John the runaround and even left a leg in on Producer Dave.There’s a Made Up Game which some (including the higher-ups at 5 Live) have branded ‘risky’, Ivo takes a look through this week’s broadsheets, John discusses his most recent step to becoming a beefcake, and a loveable East End builder stops by to give us a quote. Bosh!
14/04/232h 14m

#266 - Single Pringles, Sportageddon and 225 Lollipop Ladies

With a MASSIVE announcement from the Elis and John Tax Year Calendar, a HUGE Made Up Game involving a behemoth of the broadcasting world, and a GIGANTIC faux pas from Producer Dave when describing his weekend plans, you’d be forgiven for looking on in disbelief when finding out today’s show is only 90 minutes long. Alongside all this bigness, Elis arrives at the studio with a very special guest, John sulks because of certain scoring parameters, and everyone just about remains on the right side of the undue prominence line when debating a Petty Parliament item.
07/04/231h 38m

#265 - Vampire Grannies, Breaking Beale and John’s Dream Seat

What car would Huw Edwards drive? Where is John’s favourite spot to sit on a crowded train? Does Elis know how much a second class stamp costs? Does new feature The Riff Symposium actually work? All valid questions, with some fascinating answers* that are all revealed, divulged or discussed across two hours of scintillating radio with Elis and John.And amongst the cut and thrust of top notch seat-of-your-pants broadcasting, there was a Made Up Game that delivered, an Ask John that informed, and a Petty Parliament that divided.*Burgundy Mercedes E-Class estate, near the toilets, maybe - we're hopeful.
31/03/232h 13m

#264 - Slimline Biscuits, Impartial Spines and Tweet The Internet

The floors of Broadcasting House were shaking this morning, as Beefcake Robins entered the studio fresh from achieving yet another personal best at the gym. His continued workout efforts have seen him rise to second in the table of the “5 Live Ripped Rankings”, and he’s got Rick Edwards firmly in his reach. And to show just how strong he’s become he was able to present the whole show with Elis on one shoulder and Producer Dave on another, all whilst maintaining perfect form.In a show which had “giddy energy” running through its veins the guys speak to a wildlife Unsung Hero, Elis’s social media habits are put under the microscope, John tries to figure out what car Tony Livesey drives, and Producer Dave’s eyes turn black from stress.
24/03/232h 2m

#263 - Dockers Dictionary, Postcode Dave and Floss Comedy

The higher-ups at the BBC might be able to restrict Elis and John to an hour's worth of radio in order to make room for the Cheltenham Festival, but do you know what they won't ever restrict? An appetite for quality chat that is SO ravenous they're able to make a 60-minute show feel like an 85-minute show because of just how much they've jammed into it! Producer Dave puts the guys through their comedy paces with another Riff Symposium, there's a discussion about Adrian Chiles' new money-making scheme, a listener tells us how brilliant Sweden is and John continues to flex his muscles (if only you could see them). Plus, John appeared on 5 Live Breakfast this morning as part of their 'In My Opinion' feature, so as a special treat we've included that too.
17/03/231h 31m

#262 - Robot Lasagne, Sink Sabotage and Ping When You’re Winning

A surprise at every turn, content on the cusp of being toooo edgy, and with some bits a little too revealing for the more conservative consumer.. Elis and John on 5 Live, or the Elis and John Tax Year Calendar (available at bbc.co.uk/elisandjohn, fyi)?BOTH! With today’s explosive offering matching the #daring and #dangerous extremes of everyone’s favourite wall-hung charity organiser.There was sink-based drama, microwave-based shenanigans, plus some other stuff that isn’t centred around the kitchen.Enjoy!
10/03/232h 12m

#261 - Riff Yourself Thin, Sexy Elis and Bury’d In Shame

In an unexpected turn of events John has become something of a 'gym head', and today in the studio he asked Elis and Dave to touch his muscles 12 times (far more than the usual three times). Thankfully the guys didn't pass out with passion: they were able to take the excitement they felt after John tensed up his biceps and translate it into top notch broadcasting.Today's show featured an on-air reunion with an old pal, a Shame Well that has already been submitted into the 'Awards' folder, everyone's favourite cheeky postman stopped by... and it was all delivered with a touch of class!Do YOU want access to back-to-back shame? Thankfully you're in luck, as 'Shame Well' is now available as its own playlist on BBC Sounds! Just search 'Shame Well' on the greatest app on earth to listen to some of the best shame from over the years uninterrupted.
03/03/232h 26m

#260 - Epsom Mad Funkers, Celestial Kick Ups and Capers Capers

A wise person once said "A rising tide lifts all boats". However another less well-known wise person also said "A giddy John lifts all spirits", and today saw such a proverb come to life as Robins and his good pal James excitedly crafted a radio show for the ages. Yes, Elis and John were in fine fettle today; and even managed to make Producer Dave turn completely pale whilst discussing EMF.If you're playing 'radio production bingo' you're likely to be shouting 'HOUSE' very quickly, as today's show included all the following: a live read of terms and conditions, a new feature created on the fly, throwing to the cricket, and ringing of 'the good radio bell'. There was also an extremely tense Made Up Game, a motivational masterclass, and a conclusion to 'Bristol City Penaltygate'.
24/02/232h 14m

#259 - FTSE Friday, Shy Erotica and Guff Complaints

Today's show was BRAVO, INDIA, GOLF. No, the guys weren't celebrating the achievements of PGA tour golfer Anirban Lahiri: they announced that 'The Elis James and John Robins Tax Year Calendar' in aid of Comic Relief is finally available to purchase! Whilst the value of the pound was only marginally affected by the announcement it's safe to say that the orders came flying in, showing once again how passionate the people of the UK are about TAX.Away from all the calendar chat there was a Made Up Game for the linguistics fans amongst you, the guys aired out some more Hot Gossip, Adrian shares some listeners' poetry to rival Producer Dave, and a real-life New Yorker dials in from his midtown loft on the Upper West Side!-To get hold of YOUR copy of the UK’s hottest piece of tax merchandise, you just need to head to bbc.co.uk/elisandjohn where you can also find the terms and conditions and privacy notice.Once there, you just need to click on the ‘Tax Calendar’ link, and that’ll take you straight to the order page.The calendar costs £12.99 including postage, with a minimum of £4 from each sale being donated to registered charity Comic Relief and will help to support people who are facing the toughest times of their lives. The money raised will help people struggling with the cost-of-living crisis and tackle issues such as homelessness, mental health problems, and food poverty.The calendars will be available to buy until 31st March 2023, so act fast to make sure you don’t miss out on your very own piece of tax history!
17/02/232h 18m

#258 - Martin Lewis, Operation Snack and Takeaway Tittle-Tattle

If the aim of a usual Elis and John show is to deliver ‘your classic 4-4-2’ (anecdote over the top, punchline flick-on, good radio bell finish), today felt more like an adventurous 5-2-1-2 set up. A formation that could bring the whole house of cards tumbling down, but if implemented successfully, it could be beautiful. Pivotal wing backs shuttling on the overlap between classic comedy defence and more exotic consumer advice interpretation attack.New features were given a runout (Hot Gossip), old favourites returned to the side (Backing Britain), some regulars adopted a new position and cameo role before full time (Petty Parliament) and the big man up front was brought on for the last 20 (Martin Lewis). And by jove, the gaffer only went and pulled it off.Long-winded, half-baked analogies aside, another rip-roaring show awaits, with the right honourable Martin Lewis CBE proving yet again what a thoroughly top chap he is.Enjoy.
10/02/232h 19m

#257 - Tweet The Internet, Sexual Cul-De-Sacs and Tube Quiz Champ

In a return to scenes reminiscent of 2020, today's show saw Elis, John and Producer Dave broadcasting from a whole host of exotic locations; such as Cardiff, London and Cheadle Hulme. There isn't a soul on earth who knows how radio actually works, so let's just say it's thanks to the magic of "technology" that the guys were able to broadcast to you the listener. And yes, of course there was going to be the odd hiccup - but isn't that what's fun about live radio?There was an all-time great Shame Well, a Made Up Game right in Dave's wheelhouse, some more listener Hot Gossip... and Elis makes a catastrophic error whilst channelling his inner Chingford.(Disclaimer: head to the 5 Live website for the full, CORRECT schedule.)
03/02/232h 1m

#256 - Goss Bros, Source A Horse and Space Invader Ska

Production… It's an Audio Always thing. Bringing the hottest goss in town… It’s an Elis and John thing. Having to tame radio’s most uncontrollable duo whilst broadcasting live to the nation, meaning you have to rely on hand gestures to show your annoyance… It’s a Producer Dave thing.Yes, it’s time for your weekly care package of #content from the guys; and it’s safe to say that today’s show was one of the giddiest we’ve had for a long time. There was a MASSIVE Tax Year Calendar update, John stressed about going to a fancy dress party (with a very ambiguous theme), Elis shared that he was the victim of a prank, and a listener finally asked the question we’ve all been wanting an answer for: “What does Producer Dave actually do?”.
27/01/232h 18m

#255 - Loving Lightly, Liner Pies and VAT Bottomed Girls

The UK is going through something of a cold snap at the minute, with temperatures dropping to as low as -2 degrees Celsius. But wait: don't go filling up that hot water bottle just yet, because Elis and John are here with more than two hours of boiling hot broadcasting warm enough to heat up a leisure centre to a balmy 19 degrees (or any building of a similar size).Their Tax Year Calendar plans race ahead at a frightening pace, the guys play a Made Up Game focusing on a broadcasting titan, John gets confused when plotting a railway journey... and most shockingly of all, Elis James struggles with an accent. You'll have to hear it to believe it!
20/01/232h 16m

#254 - George Ezra, Horny Traffic and Bond’s Great Escape

A hustling bustling show hit the airwaves today, as Elis and John not only laid the foundations for releasing their own Tax Year Calendar (April to April, 2023/2024), but they also said hello to friend of the show and all round lovely chap, George Ezra!The Bullion Boy slotted into the EJJR formation seamlessly, sharing tales of his 1200 mile hike, mucking in with Petty Parliament, and even humouring Elis and his impersonation skills as our old friend ‘Little Georgie Ezra’ made an appearance after a three year hiatus.Plus, prepare for a car-based Shame Well that surely ploughs straight down the overtaking lane into the top ten.
13/01/232h 14m

#253 - Pylon Alley, Chairman Meow and 1.2kg of Self-Reproach

New Year, new you… but same old badinage from Elis James and John Robins, radio’s most lovable lummoxes. And though we hope that you all had some peaceful time off, the festive break wasn’t a period of relaxation for the guys: Elis decided to write a critical analysis on every episode of the show from over the past year, and John came up with no less than 85 new show ideas… all of which have been added to the “ACTION THIS SECOND” folder in the Audio Always office.The guys heard about some of the visual highlights of the M40, argued about whether a former Prime Minister or former Big Breakfast host would make a better stand-in radio presenter, and there was a Champions League level Shame Well. What a way to start the year!
06/01/232h 7m

#252 - Elis James and John Robins: The Best of 2022

Leonard I. Sweet once proclaimed "The future is not something we enter. The future is something we create", and as BBC Radio 5 Live's premium purveyors of content Elis and John are already hard at work creating a future full of japes, jokes and jolly's, they don't have time for nostalgia; their eyes are firmly fixed on what's up next for them... and they NEVER dwell on the past.That said, here's a show purely dedicated to looking back at their best moments from 2022.There's been highs (Elis watching his beloved Wales qualify for the World Cup), there's been lows (John having a sardine-induced breakdown in Scotland) ... and prose that Wordsworth himself would be proud of (Producer Dave rhyming 'ineffective' with 'Pigeon Detectives').See you next year!
30/12/221h 45m

#249 - Elis and John's Made Up Games Christmas Special

Games. Some of us love them, some of us take them far too seriously, some of us make them up... and this very special edition of the Elis James and John Robins show celebrates those games that have been created by you, the listener: but with a festive twist. That's right, it's Elis and John's Made Up Games Christmas Special!Recorded in front of a live studio audience at the BBC Philharmonic Studios, this episode sees Elis and John compete against each other to accrue as many points as possible in order to claim the title of Made Up Games Christmas Champion. However, they're not alone: Producer Dave acts as the iron-fisted quizmaster, members of the BBC Philharmonic provide a live music soundtrack, and the guys are joined by two VERY special guests. So don your Christmas jumpers, pull a cracker, and settle in for an hour of pure festive Made Up Games!
25/12/221h 3m

#251 - Thawduroy, Chiles Play and A Breakdown In Glencoe

It's the last Friday before Christmas. You're counting down the minutes until you can leave work. Out of office turned on, fax machine turned off; you're ready to hit the road... and in front of you is a mammoth 195 mile journey from Gloucester to Hull.It's a scenario familiar to millions, but thankfully Elis and John are here to help those of you heading home over the festive period; and on today's show they were looking to accumulate a billion miles worth of journeys around the country. How far are the people of the UK travelling? Who are they with? And most crucially of all, what are they driving? Yes: we're Driving Home For Christmas.The guys also speak to a positively festive Unsung Hero, Santa's Head of Logistics drops by... and the joke writing skills of two of the UK's premier comedians are put to the test in a very special Made Up Game.
23/12/222h 5m

#250 - Operation Semaphore, 22 Pill Mipes and Naga's Perfect Roasties

Today, a new geo-triumvirate was born, as content proceeded to explode across the airwaves from central London (Elis), BBC Bristol (John) and Salford’s Media Citeh (Producer Dave).And with a smorgasbord of content covered including (but not limited to) bean shots, Clarence Seedorf, toilet seats, Chinooks, Pokemon cards, potatoes, Roy Keane, Larkin and Scottish weather, maybe long-distance ISDN-supported broadcasting is the future for our digital-terrestrial protagonists?Either way, good show.
16/12/222h 4m

#248 - Honey Traps, Window Misteries and Van Outen: The One That Got Away

With something called the 'World Cup' still holding a monopoly over the airways Elis and John were shunted into an hour long quarter final shaped siding of a show today. But the presence of neither Croatians or Brazilians on the schedule could cramp their style. John took his seemingly talking big coat out for a spin, Elis channels Brando and fans of Wareing, Wallace, et al. will be pleased with a tasty Made Up Game.
09/12/221h 7m

#247 - Melon FM, John's Hot Nuts and Fackets

The spinning mule. Fred Dibnah. The Wigan kebab. Many things have rocked Greater Manchester, but none have made quite the impact as today's broadcast from Media Citeh. A quiet gasp went around the building as the revolving doors revealed that the Big Wigs were in town for their approximately annual away day to the Salford Riviera."Is that Britain's premier professional football fan and Amersham's 1,232nd golfer?" they whispered as John sipped his long black and Elis took off his million pound jacket ready for an hour of gonzo radio the UK hadn't heard since the days of Producer Dave was larging it in Fifth Avenue. The result for the non-live listener is 79 podcast minutes of birds, receipt repartee and generic catalogue oriented fun.
02/12/221h 19m

#246 - Educated Fleas, Pomegranate Fridges and Wee Out Your Concerns (Bonus #Content)

You may have heard that something called the ‘World Cup’ is currently taking place in Qatar, and due to 5 Live’s commitment to bringing coverage of EVERY game throughout the tournament there was no live Elis and John show this week. However, there’s no way we couldn’t provide you with your weekly dose of chat, so we’re happy to share some bonus #content with you. Think of it as a vibe symposium, the Yolta of ‘chat’, a meeting of minds… Essentially, it’s Elis, John and Producer Dave having a good old catch up. Elis discusses his journey to Qatar to watch Wales at their first World Cup since 1958, John talks about his journey to the car (with his beer fridge), and Producer Dave alleges that he's currently at his heaviest. Enjoy!
25/11/2255m 33s

#245 - Two Belt Tony, Good Radio Richard and Sandwiches In The Dark

After recovering from the career-threatening injury he sustained whilst playing dodgeball last week John was able to make it into the studio for today’s show… and when he put his cap on five minutes before the mics went live Elis and Dave just knew that it was going to be a good day. However, when the cap ended up coming off there were concerns that the radio wheels might fall off. Thankfully John didn’t lose the metaphorical dressing room, and battled through to score radio goal after radio goal.The guys speak to an Unsung Hero who’s out in Qatar with the Welsh national team, John does a good (but weird) impression, and there’s one of the funniest Made Up Games of all time.
18/11/222h 10m

#244 - Stodge Then Dodge, Topknot Tony and Love Thy Rut

There’s nothing worse than a sportsman sustaining an injury before a big event. Months of preparation hang in the balance, opportunities of a lifetime potentially lost forever… and just like Gareth Bale ahead of the upcoming World Cup there were questions about whether John would be able to present today’s show after sustaining an injury to his calf. But you know John… he’s able to power through ANYTHING, and fresh from a long bath he rolled back the months and presented the show from home - with only minor miscommunications with Elis!Despite being miles apart the show was an absolute triumph! The guys were joined by a cricketing Unsung Hero, Tanya from YouGov dropped by to discuss how the people of Britain recite phone numbers, Tony Livesey talked about his solitary news reading appearance and Elis went barmy thanks to a Made Up Game.
11/11/222h 2m

#243 - Phone Formations, Lies Monthly and Pick Ye Candles

Every once in a while Elis and John will pull a topic out of thin air that causes the text console to explode; and their ability to engage the nation is something they take pride in. However, today it was the turn of listener Ian to grab the nation's attention with his submission to Petty Parliament… and what a topic it was (caution: you WILL have your own opinion on it).We speak to an Unsung Hero who plays a very important role in the world of Strictly Come Dancing, there’s a Made Up Game that was probably a bit too far in John’s wheelhouse, Producer Dave tells us his story of Squandering Extravagance and the guys share a live announcement (massive it is).
04/11/222h 1m

#242 - Davestation, Flexing For Britain and The BACS Zone

It feels like a lifetime since Elis, John and Producer Dave were all in the same room together, but fresh from their respective trips away (stag do and golf do) not only were they returning to the studio… They were also returning to give YOU a lesson in how live radio should be: fast, loose, and with off-the-cuff quizzes.After Elis’s shocking revelation that he doesn’t wash his face the guys chat to a skin doctor about whether a change of routine is needed, John throws Elis under the bus when testing out his accent skills, Producer Dave offers some parenting advice on escalator safety and John shares his deep understanding of chancel insurance.
28/10/222h 2m

#241 - Crossman’s Mullet, Bingo Bango Bongo and Can Mentality

Elis and John are both taking a much deserved break from their regular slot this week. No, they aren’t heading to a couples retreat in Bali to “find themselves”; Elis is going on a stag do and John is off to play golf. So, like the dedicated broadcasters they are, the guys reconvened on a crisp Sunday morning to ensure that no one has to go a week without their usual fix of affable broadcasting.As well as all the usual fun there was a calamitous performance in a Made Up Game, Elis tells a joke so poor that it wouldn’t make it into a Christmas cracker, John shares his unusual phobia, and Producer Dave gets a lesson in moth-edible clothing.As a side note, we recorded this episode before the recent political events regarding the Prime Minister. We can assure you that as capable broadcasters Elis and John are more than trusted to cover political goings-on; they just don't yet have the ability to see into the future.
21/10/221h 44m

#240 - Café del Marsterman, Lonely Fans and Weymouth Whining

Due to #factors Elis and John didn’t present a live show today; but not ones to let you, the listener, miss out on their weekly dose of chat they decided to record a bonus episode. It’s laid back, it’s loosey goosey, it’s chilled, it’s a jam.Producer Dave reveals that he didn’t invite John on a special lash, Elis steps behind the microphone after a challenging week, John shares that he’s off for a walk with the SWC and to celebrate National Album Day the guys speak to the artist who designed the artwork for Elton John’s debut album.
14/10/221h 17m

#239 - Müttley Crüe, Aroused Lightning and Welsh Washing

Today Elis returned from his end of summer break feeling refreshed and rejuvenated, and sat down on a seat that had been kept suitably warm by Ivo Graham. Not one to rest on his laurels he was ready to raise the temperature of that seat even more by jumping head first into some riveting topics of conversation. Yes, Elis James and John Robins were able to prove once again that they know exactly what the country want to talk about by pulling not one but TWO topics of conversation out of thin air that switched the light boards up like Blackpool Illuminations.Elsewhere, Producer Dave treads carefully during a Made Up Game, John discusses golf humour, and Tony Livesey shares that he finds eating sexy. Plus, 12 months on from the #SaveJohn campaign we’re given an update by James from the Office of National Statistics to see whether John’s hard work wasn’t a total waste of time.
07/10/222h 12m

#238 - Spartan Skodas, Curveball Carvery and The Terracotta Assassin

With Elis James spending this Friday sunning himself in Wales it was down to John to choose a suitable co-host to take his place. It was a drawn out process featuring seven preliminary rounds of auditioning, two auditions in front of a live audience and an arm wrestle. The victor, and sharing the airwaves with John this week, was none other than Ivo Graham; and boy did he relish the opportunity.Making his first appearance as an official co-host, Ivo really embraced the cut and thrust nature of broadcasting with John. It was a case of “run before you can walk”, and with each stride he got closer to a finishing line marked “chat”. There was an impromptu discussion with a referee, John got annoyed during a Made Up Game, Ivo put his improv skills to the test and Producer Dave NEARLY Backed Britain.
30/09/222h 3m

#237 - Clown Of The Scrum, Party Squirrels and Darklord866

If you surveyed 100 residents of the United Kingdom and asked them what it is exactly that they want from a radio show (similar to RAJAR: radio's primary source of audience data) they'd probably list the following: a discussion with an ethical hacker, a feature where two grown men try to estimate the weight of a welly based on feel alone, and regular reminders of how much one of the presenters needs a nap. Following on from the aforementioned survey a panel of creatives would probably gather and create today's EXACT Elis James and John Robins show... which is now available for you to enjoy!There's also an update on the Backing Britain campaign, Tony Livesey discusses his long hair days, and John uses his power to kick a caller to the curb.
24/09/222h 10m

#236 - "I Thought I Needed A Reason To Just Give Me To Shake Things Up A Bit" (Bonus #Content)

On Friday 9th September John Robins was due to go away, which meant he, Elis and Producer Dave spent the evening of Monday 5th September pre-recording a show so that you the listener didn't miss out on any content. However, after the sad news that Queen Elizabeth II had passed away on Thursday 8th the BBC decided that having Elis and John on air less than 24 hours later might have been a bit too jovial given the circumstances.We didn't want this show to go the same way as the oft spoken of "Pub Quiz" bonus episode, so we've decided that the time is probably right to release what we recorded. And as a special treat you’ll hear a chat with comedian Glenn Moore, who gives an insight into what it was like working with Elis and John at the beginning of their radio journey.
22/09/221h 47m

#235 - Breakfast Broccoli, Digit Wilson and Too Hot Tubs

This afternoon Elis and John returned to the airwaves of BBC 5 Live and proved once more that there is no form of broadcasting that they can’t turn their hand to. Agonisingly conscious of the sage ‘tone’ advice from Adrian Chiles ringing in their ears they repaid 5 Live’s trust with some top level radio (and even threw in the odd anecdote for good measure).Elis shares that his house is falling apart, John tells the guys about his current eating routine, our Unsung Hero critiques Producer Dave’s jingle writing skills and a listener ruins a rug.
16/09/221h 51m

#234 - Back On The Bix, Tea Bag Trunks and Stew Psychics

Oh it’s nice to be back home isn’t it? The guys had a fun time away from each other but nothing beats the feeling of breathing the same air, nodding at the same winks and having a go at Producer Dave for not Backing Britain in person. Yes, today saw Elis, John and Dave reunited for the first time in what felt like months (when it was, in fact, only one month), and they put on a show deserving of the 2-4pm slot on a national BBC radio station.Giddy, and with a sense of excitement (Elis) and lethargy (John) overcoming them there was a spicy Made Up Game, John perpetuated an urban myth and Elis put a new spin on Up Your Region. Plus, strap yourself in for some award-worthy Shame.
02/09/222h 9m

#233 - Radio Robot, Pasty Pain and Stinky Sauntering

John is almost at the end of his Fringe run, which meant that today’s show was the last from his now-beloved Edinburgh studio. But did he shed a tear in memory of his extended break up north coming to its climax? Absolutely not, because it means from next week he, Elis and Producer Dave will be reunited in London; live from the epicentre of radio.It’s safe to say this show had it all: there was a surprise new feature from Elis, Producer Dave introduced a smashing clip-based Made Up Game, Alison Spittle dropped by in her big sandals and Matt Forde gave a textbook example as to why you shouldn’t eat carb-heavy foods right before appearing on live radio.
26/08/222h 3m

#232 - Huwid Edwards, Doctor Theatre and A Mick Foley Folly

This week’s show was one for the triangulation fans amongst you. Elis, John and Producer Dave presented the show from London, Edinburgh and Salford respectively; thus creating a scalene triangle that spanned the length of the nation, full to the brim of ideas, features, guests, and even a little bit of light ribbing.The guys were joined by the wonderful Thanyia Moore to chat about her debut Edinburgh show, there was a discussion around the emergence of certain accents, Elis interrupted one of John’s anecdotes and there was a Made Up Game featuring a whole lot of laughs.
19/08/221h 54m

#231 - Padre Pig, Ingleby Greenhow and The Autonators

Elis may be the kind of person that constantly has content at the forefront of his mind and body, but even he sometimes has to put other life events first. So in order to enable him to go on holiday to celebrate Isy’s birthday, this week's show was specially pre-recorded at 8.30pm on a Monday evening (ironically interrupting Producer Dave’s holiday in Portugal).Poet and comedian extraordinaire Rob Auton pops round John’s Edinburgh flat to perform some specially curated poetry and chat about his latest show, Elis eats some almonds, Producer Dave puts his swimming pool to good use in a very special Made Up Game and John gets excited about some interesting British place names.
12/08/221h 44m

#230 - Rockless Fields, Flyering High and Passport Portraits

Och aye the noo! John Robins is up in Edinburgh for the Fringe throughout the whole of August, so for today's show he joined Elis and Producer Dave live from Scotland via an ISDN line (think tin can and string but more advanced).To celebrate the fact he’s currently staying in the centre of the comedy universe John invited comedic royalty Richard Herring along to talk about things he takes too seriously, as well as asking him to propose a law to Petty Parliament.Elsewhere, Elis tells us about how he fell victim to a scam, Producer Dave spends 120 minutes panicking about passports, there’s a very painful Made Up Game and Tony Livesey shares his swimming secrets.
05/08/222h 4m

#229 - Bathroom Balconies, Tea Bag Tribulations and Mayor Doobliani

After an extended break away from each other, Elis and John returned to the airwaves of 5 Live this afternoon and reaffirmed that when they’re in the same room together they create unstoppable radio. As a side note, John will be in Edinburgh from next week so they’re going to be broadcasting from separate locations for the next month.In a show that could only be described as “a radio version of Sgt Pepper” the guys spoke to an interior design master about the rise in glass toilet doors, a Commonwealth Games Unsung Hero dropped by, there was one of the all time great Made Up Games (featuring a special guest) and Producer Dave plugged his other podcast “It’s… Wagatha Christie” (available on BBC Sounds now).
29/07/221h 59m

#228 - Tricky Chinos, Cushion Collectives and Ellen White

With Elis holidaying in Bedford, Lou Sanders was once again parachuted in to keep Johnny JR in check, and what a job she did.Amongst the fun, we were given rare access to the heart of the Lionesses den, as footballing legend Ellen White joined us to discuss England’s chances of going all the way in Euro 2022. She also told Lou who her best friend was.Elsewhere, this week’s Made Up Game was criminally good, Mystic Megan joined us from Wales, and we were treated to some pretty graphic DIY surgeries.
22/07/221h 57m

#227 - The Vacation Tapes: Falkland Islands

For the past few weeks sport has dominated the airwaves at 5 Live, so Elis James and John Robins got to take a much-needed break from their usual broadcasting schedule. And you know their favourite way to relax? That's right: by creating content for you to enjoy in place of their regular podcast. In the final episode of this three-part series Elis, John and Producer Dave embark on the journey of a lifetime to a place that none of them have ever visited. So far they've been to somewhere hot, they've been to somewhere lively; but now it's time to send them somewhere a bit colder... And with a geography whiz like Elis James in the travelling party there's no way they could end up in the wrong place! Let's just hope that Postman Dave's big sack of post is big enough to provide them all with ample shelter.
15/07/2257m 39s

#226 - Elis and John at The Podcast Show Live 2022

As part of The Podcast Show Live 2022 Elis and John were let off the leash in a matinee for the ages at the Islington Assembly Hall, taking to the stage in front of a capacity crowd of roughly 400 PCDs (and a handful of people who had been dragged along for the day). There was poetry, prose and properly professional responses to the question of "Can you show me your squatting technique?". Not ones to stick to the rulebook the guys took some of their regular features and tweaked them to make the most of the live vibe; however, because the boys were in such a giddy and excitable mood we must mention that this episode does contain censored strong language.Here it is: Elis and John at The Podcast Show 2022... and it's live!
12/07/221h 35m

#225 - The Vacation Tapes: New York

For the next few weeks sport is dominating the airwaves at 5 Live, so Elis James and John Robins get to take a much needed break from their usual broadcasting schedule. And you know their favourite way to relax? That's right: by creating content for you to enjoy in place of their regular podcast.In the second episode of this three part series Elis, John and Producer Dave are being whisked away to a location that 2/3 of them have already been to. In amongst the hustle and bustle of their new recording location Postman Dave makes a celebrated return (mostly thanks to the jingle) and John explains why he doesn't drive an estate car.
08/07/221h 2m

#224 - A Scottish Odyssey with John Robins: Episode Three

He’s navigated his way around the Emerald Isle, but now it’s time for John Robins to pilot his beloved compact SUV to pastures new. Will there be golf? Yes. Will there be wind? Just a bit. Will there be pints? Of course.It’s time for him to swap limericks for lochs and set sail for the next destination in his journey of self (and content) discovery: Scotland.John’s holiday is about to come to an end, but before heading to his home in rural Buckinghamshire there’s just time for him to take a visit to his spiritual home. He also stops off at another service station, and reflects on what he’s learnt during his time on the road.
05/07/2242m 25s

#223 - A Scottish Odyssey with John Robins: Episode Two

He's navigated his way around the Emerald Isle, but now it's time for John Robins to pilot his beloved compact SUV to pastures new. Will there be golf? Yes. Will there be wind? Just a bit. Will there be pints? Of course. It's time for him to swap limericks for lochs and set sail for the next destination in his journey of self (and content) discovery: Scotland.This episode sees John take on the seemingly impossible task of walking all the way around Loch Lomond, he gets recognised walking along the West Highland Way and (in an effort to bring balance to the series) names roughly 20 makes and models of car.
05/07/2235m 51s

#222 - A Scottish Odyssey with John Robins: Episode One

He’s navigated his way around the Emerald Isle, but now it’s time for John Robins to pilot his beloved compact SUV to pastures new. Will there be golf? Yes. Will there be wind? Just a bit. Will there be pints? Of course.It’s time for him to swap limericks for lochs and set sail for the next destination in his journey of self (and content) discovery: Scotland.The first part of John's trip around Scotland sees him taking in some breathtaking scenery: the Ayrshire coast, the Firth Of Clyde and a pirate-themed pavilion. He also spends some time sitting on a rock and drinks one cider too many.
05/07/2229m 22s

#221 - The Vacation Tapes: Ayia Napa

For the next few weeks sport is dominating the airwaves at 5 Live, so Elis James and John Robins get to take a much needed break from their usual broadcasting schedule. And you know their favourite way to relax? That's right: by creating content for you to enjoy in place of their regular podcast.This special three part series sees Elis, John and Producer Dave being dropped into a random holiday location before delving into some of the hottest topics around (if you're a journalist at one of the major broadsheets put your pen down - this is just theatre of the mind). They'll also be opening some of your ACTUAL post and riffing their way through the episode in each and every way possible.
01/07/2241m 37s

#220 - Batican City, Vape Island and The Dave Dollar

They say that if you give a man a fish you can feed him for a day, but teach a man to fish and you can feed him for a lifetime. But what happens if you give two radio presenters 11 different screens in a single studio? I’ll tell you what happens: they'll produce radio that’s exciting and groundbreaking in equal measure, and that’s something you just can’t teach.To get us into the mood for festival season Elis and John speak to a Glastonbury Unsung Hero, John flexes his geographical muscles in a Made-Up Game, Elis struggles to pinpoint a Welsh accent and Producer Dave details his bleak Friday (live from the comfort of MediaCityUK).
24/06/221h 54m

#219 - An Irish Odyssey with John Robins: Episode Three

To celebrate entering his fifth decade John Robins decided to undertake the trip of a lifetime.He packed up his beloved compact SUV (the make and model of which will definitely become clear) with a bag of golf clubs, a microphone and a sense of adventure and left rural Buckinghamshire for his destination: Ireland.He went in search of answers, but ended up finding something much more important: content.It’s the final part of John’s windy journey around Ireland, and in this episode he explores the pubs of Belfast, Andrew Ryan offers some sage ulcer advice, and John looks ahead to his next adventure.
21/06/2224m 24s

#218 - An Irish Odyssey with John Robins: Episode Two

To celebrate entering his fifth decade John Robins decided to undertake the trip of a lifetime.He packed up his beloved compact SUV (the make and model of which will definitely become clear) with a bag of golf clubs, a microphone and a sense of adventure and left rural Buckinghamshire for his destination: Ireland. He went in search of answers, but ended up finding something much more important: content.With the wind in his sails (often being picked up by his microphone) John celebrates his first night in Ireland with a lovely sit-down meal before heading for his first round of golf with host of ‘Diary of a High Handicapper’ and rival SUV owner Jamie.He then heads north to meet up with fellow comedian Andrew Ryan, where they play MORE golf and discuss one of Elis James’s most famous stand-up routines.
21/06/2224m 37s

#217 - An Irish Odyssey with John Robins: Episode One

To celebrate entering his fifth decade John Robins decided to undertake the trip of a lifetime.He packed up his beloved compact SUV (the make and model of which will definitely become clear) with a bag of golf clubs, a microphone and a sense of adventure and left rural Buckinghamshire for his destination: Ireland.He went in search of answers, but ended up finding something much more important: content.In the first episode of this three part series John makes the long journey up the M6, takes in the beautiful scenery of North Wales (featuring some questionable pronunciation) and prepares to set sail for the Emerald Isle.
21/06/2232m 9s

#216 - Har Cire, Twin Leaks and Lashing With Livesey

With the people of London basking in some of the best weather we’ve seen this year Elis and John raised the temperature even more with some red hot broadcasting that certainly left Producer Dave sweating at times. But like a perfectly balanced see-saw they were able to level out the sweltering heat with some of the coolest anecdotes out there (most notably one involving Elis playing Nirvana on an electric guitar).As well as all the usual fun Elis shares a scripted intro that can almost be classed as a one-liner, John offers an apology to the listeners of 5 Live and Producer Dave dons his mortar board for a Key Stage 2 themed Made Up Game.
17/06/222h

#215 - Rum of Thorns, Stat Chat and Macca’s Margarita

If you were to ask John Robins to describe today’s show he’d probably call it a whole load of foxtrot, uniform, November (or for those that detest the phonetic alphabet: fun). The nods and winks were working like a charm and the chemistry between radio’s most dynamic duo was at an all time high; and even a controversial Made Up Game wasn’t going to change that!We caught up with resident statistician Ross to commemorate a 5 Live milestone, Elis gave us an update on his housing situation, John demonstrated a questionable understanding of human anatomy and a Shame Well left everyone reeling.
10/06/221h 51m

#214 - Tawdry Tents, Lost Lou and Duped John

With Elis being away from the show this week it was down to the ever dependable super-sub Lou Sanders to step in and fill the content void left in his place (think of her as radio’s own Ole Gunnar Solskjær). With a fully rehearsed show opener and a fist full of anecdotes she slotted right in alongside Johnny JR - and even brought some new features with her too!There was one of the greatest Shame Wells of all time, a Jubilee-themed Made Up Game (featuring an apology from Producer Matt), some very helpful relationship advice and the tale of a missing trombone.
03/06/221h 58m

#213 - Riff Tower, Lyrical Kisses and The Naked DJ

Oh how the tables have turned in the worlds of the UK’s two most young and relevant broadcasters. Cast your minds back to the not too distant past and you will remember Elis being a sprightly radio presenter full of the joys of life, and John grappling with his own mind. Well the roles seem to have reversed now, as John is as buoyant as he’s ever been and Elis is constantly having to tell himself everything is fine.However, do you think one sad DJ is going to bring the whole mood down? No chance. This week’s show was full of good times; with an Unsung Hero that’s helped the commuters of London, a Made Up Game that tested Elis and John’s music-radio skills, and a story about a very old cigarette butt. Classic broadcasting.
27/05/222h 1m

#212 - Stumbledore, Wrist Chips and Trans-Atlantic Lager

Fresh from an appearance on the red carpet Elis entered the studio this morning with an air of swagger and confidence he’d not possessed since June 2016. John, on the other hand, entered the studio after yet another appearance on his own carpet at Grief Towers (it helps his bad back).In a show full of fun the guys heard about some serious money wastage, Producer Dave shared his disdain for croquet, Elis added another voice to his ever-growing repertoire of impressions and John demonstrated his search-engine skills.
20/05/221h 59m

#211 - Lunge Lieutenants, Mansfield Action and Too Few Cooks

This afternoon saw John Robins in one of the best moods he’s ever been in, and nothing was going to stop him from presenting a radio show with a smile on his face and a spring in his step (except possibly the DOMS he’s currently suffering from). And when paired with Elis, a man who has been in the same mood for nearly 30 years, there was only going to be one outcome: liquid broadcasting.Elis gave us another classic “bad guess” during the Made Up Game, John wondered what it would have been like if he was born when Jesus Christ was alive (and how he would have monetised it) and Producer Matt offered a somewhat controversial cheese opinion.
13/05/222h 9m

#210 - Timezone Tension, Birthday BACS and Sir Michael McIntyre

With John Robins now joining co-host Elis James on the more mature side of 40, the potential mood of our birthday boy was anyone’s guess today. Luckily, the pep in John’s step was there for all to see… or at least it was until our old friend technology did its level best to de-rail proceedings at every turn. Did it manage to? We’ll let you be the judge of that, dear listener (it did, and now John is sad again), but when did a little bit of on air jeopardy hurt anyone? Enjoy the chaos.
06/05/222h 5m

#209 - Sheet Traffic, First Date Dave and Rent-a-Loo

Big plans were in place for today’s show, as it was set to be the last time that Johnny JR appeared on radio in his 30s. However, John felt the need to remind everyone that as the youngest member of the team he’s actually only in his mid-30s, and that he’s fine and we don’t need to make a big deal about his upcoming birthday.In a show full to the brim with hilarity and mirth the guys play the most difficult Made Up Game of all time, Elis reveals the most romantic thing he’s ever done, John drops some butter bombs and Producer Dave puts his creative pen to paper once more.
29/04/222h 19m

#208 - Sardine Starter, Bond's Batteries and Long Arm John

How would you feel if you returned to work after a two-week-long trip around Ireland and Scotland? Refreshed? Maybe. Full of vigour? Quite possibly. Well, not for Johnny JR, who returned from his holiday in what can only be described as a 'foul' mood. Thankfully it didn't take long for him to return to his usual joyful self, thanks to the help of his two best friends Elis and Dave. In what turned out to be an extremely fun show the guys spoke to someone who does Elis's dream job, John incorrectly guesses the cost of rice and Producer Dave gets excited about the weekend... again.
22/04/222h 9m

#207 - Bean Bag Beds, Intensely Salford and Weekday Weddings

What does “always on” mean? How do you recite a dance? How is Johnny Vaughan able to fall asleep so quickly? These are just some of the questions proffered in this week’s podcast, specially prerecorded to enable John to go on his tour of the Emerald Isle. In a show that ran like clockwork (thanks to Producer Dave’s eight stopwatches) Elis justifies not fixing his phone, the guys played a very one-sided Made Up Game, John tells us what he’s got going for him and there’s a Shame Well for the ages.
15/04/221h 46m

#206 - Special Spreadsheets, Armani John and Costa Del Amor

This week there was once again an empty chair in the studio, for Elis James was forced to present from home due to illness. Thankfully John was in an incredible mood due to his impending holiday / journey around the UK and Ireland in his Kia Sportage, so was more than happy to guide the radio ship through to its final destination: Port Content.The guys are joined by one of the greatest Unsung Heroes of all time, Producer Dave shows off his new baggy jumper, minds are blown in a Made-Up Game and Elis delivers an Oscar-worthy performance when telling everyone what’s coming up on 5 Live (actually, maybe just a BAFTA).
08/04/222h 3m

#205 - Trickling Bunton, Tiny Baths and Wrong John

Today John made a triumphant return to the studio, despite the fact that last week he got dangerously close to being able to broadcast from his toilet at home; and with him he brought an air of vigour that you just can’t capture via the medium of video call. It’s also been Elis’s turn to have the week from hell, after being handed the baton by Producer Dave.
01/04/221h 32m

#204 - Emotional Elis, Watering Can Woes and Dover Displeasure

Today, Elis and John really were on the opposite sides of the "vibe" scale. Elis was on cloud nine after watching his beloved Welsh football team move one step closer to making history, whilst John was on cloud one due to his continued isolation (with the only thing keeping him off cloud zero being his new golf bag organiser).Alongside all the regular fun a listener pretends to be older than he actually is to keep John happy, a baby Elis is welcomed into the world and Producer Dave’s week from hell becomes a fortnight from hell.
25/03/221h 36m

#203 - Midnight Onions, Balmy Abodes and Headlamp Laments

As Elis sat down to present this week’s slightly shorter show he turned to his right to see an empty chair. It’s the place where John Robins would usually sit himself down to broadcast to the nation, but today he was nowhere to be seen. Thankfully, all Elis had to do was turn his head 30 degrees to the left to look at his computer screen to see Johnny JR staring right back at him, ready to battle through 60 minutes of top quality radio.Yes, due to factors John was unable to be in the studio with Elis and Producer Dave for the show today; but thanks to the power of technology (and sheer will power) he was still able to join in the fun from home. The guys play a makeshift Made Up Game, a football-based law is debated in Petty Parliament, and Dave answers the call of duty… by sharing his emergency scripted intro.
18/03/221h 21m

#202 - Stuff Radio, Muscle Memory and BJ (Box Junction) Jeopardy

Never has a text topic involved Producer Dave scrambling for so many disclaimers as Mancunian cries of "Don't eat off food" fall on partially receptive ears with SS Safety being saved by a knowledgeable hygiene voice.Elsewhere John 'Dunning-Kruger' Robins explains the Dunning-Kruger effect and Elis is stunningly followed online by one of the biggest wigs in [Welsh] football.
11/03/221h 33m

#201 - Big Brine, Jawbone Jazz, and The Marquis of Masala

After last week's slight change to proceedings, Elis and John returned to their regular live show today, albeit in a slightly shorter slot. But don't worry, there wasn't any less fun; they adjusted their FPM (fun per minute) monitors accordingly. Alongside all the usual content Elis shares a tractor tale, John reveals that he has VERY strong opinions on canned tuna and Producer Dave is forced to do a Cockney accent (surprisingly inaccurately, despite the fact he lived in London for over a decade). Plus, the guys speak to a very special Unsung Hero who is doing an incredibly important job out in Ukraine.
04/03/221h 37m

#200 - The Riff Matrix, Ceiling Scenarios and Humble Darts (Bonus #content)

Due to factors, Elis and John weren't able to present their regular show today but don't worry - they're still here to provide you with some top quality direct-to-podcast content, and hopefully share a little bit of light during a pretty difficult time.The guys speak to someone who played a MASSIVE role in making the 90s so cool, Elis realises he just isn't built for certain colours, John shares his (imaginary) weightlifting technique and Producer Dave claims to be 6 foot.
25/02/221h 38m

#199 - Timeless John, Hairdryer Hacks and Fore Facts

A slightly shorter show today due to Storm Eunice, but that doesn’t mean there was any less badinage than you'd come to expect from 'The Unproducibles'. John was flying high after changing the lives of a group of students at his old university, however Elis saw it as just another example of John not being able to let go of the past. As well as all the regular fun the guys spoke to an Unsung Hero with one of the most stressful jobs on earth, John answers a golf related Ask John, Elis switches up the light boards and Producer Dave battles his way through a Made Up Game.
18/02/221h 17m

#198 - Smalltalk Tony, Clueless Kluivert and Definition Dread

Another week, another text topic that captures the hearts of a nation. Elis and John seem to have an instinctive knowledge on what the listeners of 5 Live want to get off their chests, and this week they were inundated with stories of famous people doing normal things. Who would have thought that celebrities take part in activities such as buying rotisserie chickens, perusing the sandwich aisles of supermarkets and spending money on arcade machines?! Plus, John has a bit of a stinker in Ask John, Elis gives up on a Made Up Game before it’s even started, and Producer Dave gets sacked: AGAIN.
11/02/221h 54m

#197 - Human Dressage, Chaud Shame and Stunning Lamb

As they have proven time and time again Elis and John know instinctively what the nation wants to talk about; and this week the people of this country wanted to talk about the names of text groups they’re in. By the end of the show the switchboards had transformed into Blackpool Illuminations, and lit up brighter than Producer Dave’s face on the morning of a City game. Also, the guys speak to an Unsung Hero who is helping the people of London with their tardiness, Elis buckles under the pressure of a word based Made Up Game and John (for the first time in his life) misquotes Alan Partridge.
04/02/221h 57m

#196 - Tax To The Max, The SWC and Elis’s Late Night

Life couldn’t get more exciting for John at the moment. Not only has he got a country walk this weekend it’s also his favourite time of the year: self assessment tax season! To reflect the excitement gripping the nation, the guys have decided to front a campaign to get as many people to submit their tax returns during the show as possible: yes, it’s LIVE TAXING. Why has this never been done on air before? We don’t know, but Chris Evans and his team will be kicking themselves for having not thought up such a thrilling idea. Also, Elis tells us about his experience DJing (following in the footsteps of David Guetta, Fatboy Slim and Producer Dave), there’s another incredible Voice Note of the UK and John offers some sage driving advice. Tax on!
28/01/221h 58m

#195 - Plastic Pipes, Trouser Tantrums and Hip Hop Hodgson

John’s back is hurting. No, not because he’s been “carrying this show for nearly 3 years” as he so often claims, but because he’s been pumping iron at the gym again! Thankfully his trusty spotter Elis James is here to share the sheer amount of #content weighing down on them both, and hopefully help them record a PB in 'chat'. The guys hear from one of the most fearless Unsung Heroes of all time, John gets angry during a Made Up Game, Elis channels his inner preacher and Producer Dave rolls out his ballboy anecdote once again (in case you missed it the first six times).
21/01/221h 57m

#194 - Gas Galore, Code Red Robins and Four Squats To The Wind

In radio, every once in a while you’ll spend hours coming up with a good idea only for a different idea to come out of nowhere that just captures the minds of the nation. That’s exactly what happened in today’s show, as Elis James once again demonstrated that he knows EXACTLY what the people of the UK want to talk about. Two texters at once?! What a treat! Thankfully Elis and John can handle multiple areas of discussion at once, and today they proved that they can play text topic tiki-taka with the best of them. Also, the guys speak to a very secretive Unsung Hero, Elis tells a tale of a crisp conundrum and Producer Dave shares a clip of him singing… against his will.
14/01/222h 4m

#193 - Ben’s Bananas, JR MK13 and Ironic Ironing

‘New year new me’ is ringing out across the land, but that sort of statement just doesn’t apply to Elis and John. They’re the exact same capable broadcasters that took us through 2021 and they marked the start of 2022 the only way they know how: by providing you with lightning fast wit and chat so sharp you could set your watch to it. John teaches Producer Dave a brand new word (how useful it will be remains to be seen), Elis seeks advice on how he can save face in front of his 4 year old daughter and The Voice Note of the UK really kicks up a gear. Plus, there’s a Made Up Game that focuses on one of the best up and coming radio shows around.
07/01/222h 5m

#192 - Elis James and John Robins: The Best of 2021

As we wave goodbye to 2021 it’s time for us to once again look back at some of Elis and John’s highlights from the past 12 months. It might not have been the year we all expected but that hasn’t stopped the guys from producing so many good moments that you couldn’t count them on one hand. We’ve whittled down the best bits from over 100 hours of audio for you to enjoy; so grab a Bucks Fizz and join us as we look back at some of the guys’ finest moments.From John bidding a fond farewell to his beloved Skoda Fabia, to Elis peddling the phrase 'pressure is a privilege' all summer long (with impressive results), every highlight will be unearthed and scritinised with punishing detail, as the BBC's youngest broadcasters prepare for another year of top quality #content in 2022.And from everyone at Elis and John HQ - Happy New Year!
31/12/211h 38m

#191 - Christmas Day with Elis and John

It’s Christmas Day, and after spending Christmas Eve together at John’s house Elis and Producer Dave are woken on Christmas morning by the most magical to the sounds; John having a night terror. But that’s not going to put a dampener on things, because the guys have a HUGE Christmas Day ahead of them.John will be cooking a special Christmas vindaloo, Producer Dave will be sharing another Christmas poem and the guys will be joined by a VERY special guest. So whether you’re opening your presents, nursing a hangover or sitting in a separate room to avoid talking to your family, let Elis and John keep you company this Christmas. Salutations!
25/12/2156m 31s

#190 - Christmas Eve with Elis and John

Clement Clarke Moore famously wrote "Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse." However, he couldn’t have been more wrong this year - because Elis and Producer Dave have ventured over to John’s house for the festive season and they’re stirring up a big old pot of Christmas #content.Yes, Elis and Dave become the 3rd and 4th people to enter John’s house this year and have brought with them all the things needed for a perfect Christmas: festive cheer, good tidings and 3 jumpers each as John refused to turn the heating on. To help you get into the spirit of Christmas we’ve dusted all the usual features with a bit of snow, we’ll be hearing about your last minute present ideas and the guys will be tickling their taste buds with some hot sauces. What more could you want on Christmas Eve?!
24/12/211h 35m

#189 - Throuple Trouble, Big Sprout and Chip Bread

Today marked Elis and John’s final live show of 2021, and despite Producer Dave’s absence (he was at a flower arranging retreat in Suffolk) they were still able to hold it together to produce some vintage #content. John’s been having a real battle with his bad tooth and presented the show fresh from a tough root canal procedure, Elis told us about a massive business investment that he’s made and the guys discuss their plans for New Years Eve. Spoiler alert: everyone will be in bed before 2021 finishes. Plus, we finally reach the climax of the #SaveJohn campaign.
17/12/211h 38m

#188 - John Virgo, John Cooper-Clarke & John Vaughan

Elis and John, worried about meeting Dave's 'bigger boy' mates, were on top form as some of the world's hottest celebs (review the definition) get involved in the show. Someone drops in for a fiery Made Up Game and the quest to #savejohn is cranked up a notch as JR ropes in some of the biggest Js in the biz to correct Britain's moral decline.
10/12/211h 51m

#187 - Super Cans, Bagpipe Blues and Circling Sissons

Which of the following would you say are acceptable reasons to not travel down to London for a radio show? a) the birth of a child, b) every train from Manchester to London gets cancelled, c) to allow you to go on the mega lash? If you answered all of the above then you'd be correct - and that final reason is precisely why Producer Dave was up in Salford for today's show whilst Elis and John did all the heavy lifting in London. But despite being hundreds of miles apart they somehow felt closer than ever! In a jam-packed show there's a HUGE #SaveJohn update, a very intense Made Up Game and a lovely chat with someone... in AMERICA.
03/12/211h 45m

#186 - Solid Swans, Fridge The Ridge and Salve João

‘Love Actually’, ‘Ocean’s Eleven’, ‘Boogie Nights’, ‘Pulp Fiction’. These are considered to be some of the best ensembles of all time, but did any of them win ‘Best Ensemble’ at the Audio Production Awards? Answer: no. But this week Elis James and John Robins certainly did, which you could argue ranks them higher than any other ensemble that came before them. And how does an award winning ensemble celebrate such a victory? By bringing you top quality #content that money just can’t buy. There’s a shocking update on Producer Dave’s Coronation Street saga, a groundbreaking new feature is launched that gives YOU the chance to share your opinions with the nation and Elis discusses the new Beatles documentary in great length (much to John’s delight).
26/11/212h 1m

#185 - Contentious Corrie, Dairy Eggs and Helpful Honks

It may be over a month until Christmas Day but Elis and John are more than happy to provide crackers - namely in the form of today’s show. Is that just a roundabout way of saying the guys were on top form? Yes. Will you be left disappointed? Absolutely not. Sporting their favourite band t-shirts because of 6 Music's #tshirtday (Beach Boys and Trevor Sensor respectively) the guys were joined by the person behind one of the most famous band logos of all time, there was a very nostalgic Made Up Game and John revealed that he’s going to be fulfilling a lifelong dream; fever dreams included.
19/11/211h 52m

#184 - Totally Tom Toms, Blossoming Friendships and Oscar Whiskey Echo

As many of you will know Elis and John live their lives marching to the beat of their own drums, and in solidarity with Owain Wyn Evans during his 24 hour Drumathon the guys ventured up to Salford for their own drumming challenge. With the help of Joe Donovan from Blossoms they were put through their drumming paces, and were tasked with wielding their drum sticks LIVE on air. There were fills, there with trills, and there was even some untapped talent to be found. They also spoke to Owain as he entered his 6th hour of drumming, Elis channelled his inner Cornishman and John’s tachograph knowledge was validated.
12/11/211h 57m

#183 - Chafing Challenges, Lager Sleeves and Convivial Ceilidhs

With John being absent from the show this week the venerable Lou Sanders joined Elis and Producer Dave in the studio to steady the ‘Good Ship 5 Live’; and there was so much fun to be had! In what was her hat-trick appearance on the show Lou revealed that she once invited Rick Edwards (the new co-host of 5 Live Breakfast) to a barn dance, Elis spoke on national radio for the first time since turning 41 years old, and to celebrate Bonfire Night an explosive Unsung Hero dropped by to tell us about her job - and it sounds like an absolute blast.
05/11/211h 53m

#182 - Supersized Sieves, Hot Eggs and a Festival of Landfill

In what was a very wet and windy day in London today two broadcasters arrived at Broadcasting House soaked in not just rain; but badinage too. Yes, the guys returned to present live radio to the nation once more, and there was a sense of spookiness in the air (much to Elis’s annoyance). They looked ahead to Halloween by speaking to a pumpkin farmer, there's a Made Up Game featuring some familiar voices and we have an update on the #SaveJohn campaign. Plus, Producer Dave gives us a recap of his recent pub crawl… Music to John’s ears? Not quite!
29/10/211h 50m

#181 - #SaveJohn, Pen Pilfering and Little Baby Dave

It might be hard to believe but Elis and John don’t spend every waking moment of their life creating cutting edge #content; sometimes they have other commitments to attend to, which is why this week’s show was pre-recorded so YOU don’t miss out on your EJJR fix. The guys are joined by James from the Office of National Statistics (easy for you to say) to talk about the sad decline in Johns, there’s an Unsung Hero familiar to millions of commuters, Dave details an upcoming pub crawl and a future voiceover superstar lends his voice to Ask John.
22/10/211h 39m

#180 - Club Mid 40s, Double Deacy and Jimmy’s Clean Hands

“Anything is possible if you wish hard enough”, and it appears that John has been wishing his evenings away. Because today the guys were joined on the show by one of John’s dream dinner guests (the others being Freddie Mercury, John Deacon, Roger Taylor and Brian May): none other than cricketing legend Jimmy Anderson. Though Jimmy said he was unavailable to go for a pint after the show he did promise John that he’d try and work something out. Aside from John’s on-air gush-fest there was a very surprising result in today’s Made Up Game, Elis shared more Beatles excitement and Producer Dave detailed his reading difficulties.
15/10/211h 27m

#179 - Tog Talk, Wee Sheets and a Scouse Spaceman

The boys are back in town; and by town we mean Broadcasting House, as this week the guys returned to their spiritual home after a short sabbatical at Maida Vale. Despite having to get up extra early for the show (Elis at 6am, Producer Dave at 5am and John at 8am) they were full of beans that were ready to be cooked and put onto #content toast. Elis crumbles during a Made Up Game, there’s an acapella jingle due to some technical difficulties and John gives us an insight into some of the more bizarre dreams that have been keeping him awake at night.
08/10/211h 41m

#178 - The Maida Vale Sessions: Self Esteem

If you wander the fabled corridors of Maida Vale Studios you will walk past MV4: the studio where John Peel recorded his famous ‘Peel Sessions’, which is marked with a picture of the great presenter to celebrate his legacy. Just a few metres away is the now famous MV7, home to Elis and John’s Maida Vale Sessions. Though it is marked with a sign saying “Please wear ear protection during live sessions” and a portrait of James and Robins is absent it surely won’t be long until it is nicknamed “The Elis and John (and Producer Dave) Studio”.To celebrate their final show at Maida Vale Self Esteem stopped by to talk about her new album and perform a song live in the studio, Dave dropped his hosting duties to take part in a Made Up Game for the first time EVER, the guys share one of the all-time great emails and Elis gets upset by a Beatles revelation.
01/10/211h 54m

#177 - The Maida Vale Sessions: Sexy Gum Disease

Today marked the start of the Ryder Cup, and with his golf cap turned backwards and a livestream of the tournament in his eye line John really demonstrated his love for golf throughout the show whilst Elis and Producer Dave scrambled to keep things on track. Aside from that, the guys chat to Greg James (the most handsome man on Earth), there’s an Unsung Hero who saves lives on the seven seas, Elis crumbles during a Made Up Game and John shows his age by helping some Radio 1 listeners in a youth-orientated Ask John.
24/09/211h 42m

#176 - Venturi Vagueness, Ambidextrous Pencils and John’s Missing Head

Poor old Robins. Not only did a misunderstanding lead to him having to broadcast from home, he also had to battle his way through a show whilst everything seemed hellbent on bringing him down. Thankfully Elis and Dave were on hand to keep him going which led to a (Mayor) humdinger of a show. Highlights include Paul McCartney texting into the show and a special trip to New York being planned by the guys. Low-lights include a caller telling John she knows he “does comedy” and Elis insulting everyone who has a tattoo.
17/09/211h 52m

#175 - The Maida Vale Sessions: Cornetto Cleavage

Today, Elis and John made history: they became the first Anglo-Welsh double header radio show to broadcast LIVE from the legendary Maida Vale*. Presenting from a studio which had once been occupied by music legends such as Queen, The Beatles, Joy Division and JLS, the guys kicked off their 4 week residency with an absolute corker of a show.There’s an Unsung Hero (who incidentally is one of Elis’s actual heroes), tales of wasted time and a Made Up Game that goes right down to the wire.*We can’t confirm whether they’re the first ever 5 Live show to broadcast from Maida Vale, so this is the best we can do.
10/09/211h 46m

#174 - Bounty Balti, 3 Pint Cape and Inglese Dave

It’s been one hell of a week for Elis and John. Elis spent his time rediscovering his youth at a holiday park that’s definitely designed for young people, and John appeared on the pitch of a Test match. These experiences filled them vigour, and led to some of their most fluid broadcasting to date. John admits he respects some dogs, Producer Dave drops a hint that he’s in love with Elis, and one of the great thespians makes an appearance (via the medium of the man of 18 voices).
03/09/211h 39m

#173 - Al Cook, Too Much Water and John's Small Holiday

With Elis sunning himself in tropical Bedfordshire, John was joined by friend of the show Lou Sanders! Amongst the fun, they played a fantastic grape-based Made Up Game suggested by 9-year-old Rosa, the tables turned on a regular feature as Ask John became Ask Lou, and we learned that John isn't the only sex symbol to enjoy two curries in one sitting. Enjoy...
27/08/211h 31m

#172 - Belly Balance, Plate Winslet and Frozen Jackets

Amongst today's massive show revelations, we discovered that in some very specific circumstances, there are a number of non-domestic animals that Producer Dave can't touch, we found out that Elis doesn't know how to tell a story in the right order, and John bids farewell to his crusty armpits.
20/08/211h 43m

#171 - Analogue Grapes, The Aberystwyth Problem and Matriarchal Meatballs

Today saw the return of Elis and John to their regular two hour slot - meaning you get an extra half hour of #content from the UK’s youngest broadcasters. It's the first time they've broadcast for two hours in 17 months, and waving goodbye to the 90 minute slot means Elis can no longer refer to the show exclusively using football analogies. There’s the return of two fan-favourite features, a musical-memory based Made Up Game, Elis makes an enemy out of Roy Keane and John offers advice on his favourite topic: service stations.
13/08/211h 46m

#170 - Animatronic René, Playground Pentathlons and a Dhansak Ransack

The fastest people on Earth have been appearing at Tokyo 2020 over the past 2 weeks, so in celebration Elis and John decided to demonstrate their speed by flying through their usual amount of #content in 33% less time than they usually would. Yes, this is just a very roundabout way of telling you the guys were only on for an hour this week but that doesn’t mean there wasn’t plenty of fun to be had. They spoke to an explosive Unsung Hero, played a very feisty Made Up Game, and John’s best friend Brian May dropped by to talk about his exciting new project.
06/08/2153m 39s

#169 - A Fabia Farewell, Irate Initialisms and One Thousand Eggs

Despite the universe seemingly doing everything it could to keep Elis and John off-air today the guys powered through the pain and strife to bring #content to the masses (which is ironic given the power cut John experienced halfway through the show). Whilst broadcasting from their respective houses they waved goodbye to John’s beloved Skoda Fabia, spoke to a VERY important Olympic Unsung Hero and helped a listener with a passport problem.
30/07/211h 17m

#168 - Crustacean Crimes, Sturdy Sick Bowls and Petrol Pump Peeves

Back in their usual slot of Friday afternoons on 5 Live like a comfy pair of slippers - but slippers capable of dishing out witty repartee and young, hip content - the chaps chatted to a fascinating Unsung Hero about new-build housing, Elis attempted to boycott today’s linguistic Made Up Game due to his poor attitude, and John talked listeners through how to cool your house in almost too much detail.
23/07/211h 14m

#167 - European Sundays: The Cotmeister, Crying In The Quad and Tales With Tony

It was an emotional show today; not just because it was the final edition of Elis and John’s European Sundays, but also because John has found out he might have to bid farewell to his beloved 2004 Skoda Fabia. But in amongst the weeping there’s an Unsung Sporting Hero, a chat with an ACTUAL Team GB Olympian who’s about to make sporting history and a very special Sporting Shame Well. Auf wiedersehen!
18/07/211h 48m

#166 - European Sundays: 11 Lions, The Wolf In The Lift and The Mathematics Of Hurt

Being tasked with representing the ‘voice of the fans” on the morning of England’s first appearance in a major men’s final is akin to being awarded an OBE for ‘Services To Chat’, and the recipients of that honour are none other than Elis James and John Robins. On the morning of the big game they speak to comedian Matt Forde and former Football Italia host James Richardson, there’s the final edition of George Egg’s Half Time Snack Hacks, and Producer Dave performs his latest piece of poetreh to commemorate the big day (as commissioned by himself).
11/07/211h 50m

#165 - European Sundays: Dirty Dotun, A Robin For Robins and Bar Boxing Champions

If you thought the Euros was tense then just wait until you wrap your ears around this week’s podcast. The show could easily have been derailed but in a reversal of roles this time it was Elis and John holding things together. There’s the usual sporting #content, an improbable Vaseline claim and a chat with double Paralympic champion Libby Clegg and her running guide Chris Clarke.
04/07/211h 47m

#164 - European Sundays: Elis James PLC, Stat Shame and Two Tickets To Toploader

After what can only be described as a 'difficult' 24 hours for the Welsh there were worries that Elis would be sighing his way through the show, but thankfully his ever dependent strike partner J. Robins picked him up and got him playing at his best. Steve 'The Crossman' Crossman drops by for a Made Up Game, there's an avian Unsung Sporting Hero and the guys hear from the 1980 North West Regional Angling Champion.
27/06/211h 46m

#163 - Dermot's Threads, Youthful Eyes and "Remorse Makes A Home"

With football off the menu for one day Elis and John returned to their regular Friday slot, and what a return it was. John watched in dismay as Elis took steps to appear younger than he actually is (40) live on air, a former Unsung Hero gave an update on a mammoth challenge he's undertaking and Elis explained what he’d do if he ever got caught by the tabloids snogging another woman.
25/06/211h 20m

#162 - European Sundays: Big Nev, Busy Beds and The National Calf Museum

The dust seems to be settling after the England vs Scotland game… But wait: Elis and John are here to kick up that dust into a tornado of top quality sporting #content. Elis attempts to name his all-time Wales XI, John tries to contain his anger after falling victim to fence vandalism, and there’s an unbelievable revelation from this week’s Sporting Unsung Hero.
20/06/211h 53m

#161 - Stuart Braithwaite, Gruff Rhys and Emma Inch

In a change to regular programming the guys sat in for Nihal on his Tuesday afternoon show. It's a coveted slot, covering some of the hardest-hitting topics and news stories in the world today. So, naturally, Elis and John jumped head first into some serious radio journalism by talking about non-alcoholic beer, Wales at the Euros (2016 AND 2021) and post-rock music. Is there anything they can't do?
15/06/211h 52m

#160 - European Sundays: Gala Days, Igor Chiles and Bland Crisps

Euros fever has hit the 5 Live schedule, and today marked the first edition of Elis and John's European Sundays. Despite early signs that Elis might broadcast with his head in his hands the guys pulled out a show for the history books. Fern Brady brought some much needed home nations balance, George Egg combined Ukrainian and Dutch food, and there was a Sporting Unsung Hero very much in John's wheelhouse.
13/06/211h 46m

#159 - Swifty In Greenock, Boxing Gophers and Prosecco O’Clock

An absolute triumph of a show today, with potentially the best text topic of all time. Elis practised having a producer talk into his ear whilst broadcasting LIVE (he needs to work on it), John was blown away by a Brian Blessed anecdote, and Producer Dave declared his love for 'meaningless drivel quotes'.
11/06/211h 22m

#158 - Shergar, Vanilla Ice & All Things Nice

Today marked Elis and John's 100th live show on 5 Live - despite many thinking they might not even make it into double figures - and to celebrate the occasion a celebratory 'beep' started going off in the studio during the show. Amongst the celebrations there was also an Unsung Hero for the history books, a Made-Up Game that went down to the wire and two special surprise guests.
04/06/211h 26m

#157 - Faulty Fish Burgers, Elis’s Suit Strife and Handsome Greg James

John is starting to become 'The Boy Who Cried Sacked', because in today’s show he once again fired and rehired Producer Dave; except this time he did it TWICE. Also, Elis was on a high because he managed another plug for his BBC documentary on the history of Welsh football, but was quickly brought back down to Earth when he tried to give this week’s Petty Parliament caller a nickname.
28/05/211h 37m

#156 - Downing Outlets, Elis’s Car (TM) and Owen Wilson Optimism

In today’s show John revealed his intercostal golfing injury, Elis discussed his upcoming BBC television project (which he’s allowed to talk about on air, much to John’s behest) and a lovely lollipop lady dropped by for this week’s Unsung Hero. And before you ask: yes, Dave really did know the number of Weatherspoon's in Greater Manchester.
21/05/211h 28m

#155 - FA Cup Fabricators, 6am Dog Walkers and The Dangers of Turmeric

This week's show was one for the purists as it had a little bit of everything. There was some classic Elis (another one of his six funny voices), some classic John (tales of multiple anxiety dreams) and some classic Producer Dave (mentioning a Manchester club night ran by Clint Boon).
14/05/211h 28m

#154 - Tip Talk, Japanese Bowling and The Key to Advertising

This week, John raises the roof with some remarkable rhymes, Elis continues to live without a fridge, and the chaps launch a brand new feature because they simply can't stop bleeding fresh, relevant #content.
07/05/211h 20m

#153 - Fussy Fridges, Petroleum Pioneers and Bad Blowing

Today's Made Up Game has actual real-life props, Elis's 'funny voices' feature gets creepy, and John excuses himself from a Zoom call to go and have a cry on his bathroom floor. All the usual stuff, really. Enjoy!
30/04/211h 21m

#152 - Hobmas Eve, Muted Weddings and BMI BS

After a tense start to proceedings because John couldn't successfully login to the BBC text system, things improved as the afternoon progressed with a fantastic 'funny voice' from Elis, a superb modern day Shame Well, and some startling health-based revelations from the company heart rate machine on the third floor of New Broadcasting House.
23/04/211h 28m

#151 - Ridiculous Sting, Maud The Goat and Craven's Bingo

For the first time since 2020, James and Robins were back together in the studio, bringing relevant #content to the masses while looking each other square in the eye. The nod and winks were back, the spark of creativity was alive and well, and the sexual tension was once again through the roof. Although for balance, it must be reported that social distancing was observed at all times (ie. no snogging).
16/04/211h 26m

#150 - The Isolation Tapes: Fin.

After more than 12 months of lockdown #content it's finally the big day (not Elis's sister's birthday). The boys bid farewell to The Isolation Tapes in the only way they know how: by heading to the pub. And despite not having a drink together for over a year, it's only fitting that the conversation leads to hot topics such as life insurance policies and the weather.
14/04/211h 13m

#149 - Kevin and the Bean… and Dave (Bonus #content)

Something a bit different today due to a change to the 5 Live schedule. John reveals his PRAM problems, Elis dreams about having a single idea, and Producer Dave finds out his twins share a birthday with one of the greatest left-backs of all time (spoiler: it’s not Neil Ashton).
10/04/211h 4m

#148 - The Isolation Tapes: Dave’s Sexy Friends

In what will hopefully be the last episode from true isolation (they’ll be making the most of the pub garden for next week’s final Isolation Tape) the guys discuss the Papa Doble, John/Elis turning 40/41, and Producer Dave's over-indulgent Easter break.
07/04/2157m 25s

#147 - May Day, Hard Hats and Mediocre Britain

Aside from one slip of the tongue that is barely noticeable and a few messy interruptions here and there (proof if proof be need be that no one listens to Producer Dave), in and amongst the rough were some dazzling diamonds - namely a superb Unsung Hero, a top drawer Shame Well and a guest appearance from John’s best friend Brian May.
02/04/211h 31m

#146 - The Isolation Tapes: Primed and Exfoliated

John & Elis keep getting told by friends' wives that they all fancy Producer Dave. However, John (38) has now seen Old Man Robins staring back in the mirror. But as a 21st century, boundary breaking man he's here to fight age and stereotypes with the power of tinted moisturiser and concealer.
31/03/2153m 34s

#145 - Finnish Frolicking, Census Sensibility and Naked Wakes

Today, we're joined by a surprise Ask John contributor, John is required to offer up a number of corrections and clarifications, and we're reminded why it's never wise to enter a new room naked.
26/03/211h 35m

#144 - The Isolation Tapes: We All Have Opinions

This week the guys ponder “how far do you need to run before it stops getting sexy?”, and are lucky enough to once again be joined by the world record holder of the 8 mile run (Producer Dave).
24/03/2153m 15s

#143 - Insane Domains, Effusive Adrian and Futuristic Newsletters

Blink and you'll miss today's show, as the horses running around in circles meant the content juggernaut of Elis James and John Robins was reduced to just a one hour offering. But fear not! We make up the time by reading out a list of the many World Championship successes of the Soviet Union's Men's Ice Hockey team, chronologically and in full. Public Service Broadcasting is alive and well.
19/03/211h 17m

#142 - The Isolation Tapes: Life Is First Boredom, Then Fear

Vintage stuff from Elis, John and Producer Dave today with all frequencies of the electromagnetic #content spectrum touched upon; namely John’s "bag of death", Elis’s aversion to improv warm-up games, and Dave’s upcoming jury duty.
17/03/2159m 51s

#141 - Feline Apertures, Big Toothpaste and Radio Robins

Today's Made Up Game features a heady and nostalgic mix of Mark Goodier, Ultra Naté and Dina Carroll, we're interrupted with pleasant award-winning news, and there's some dubious advice offered up around the use of WD40 on your car windscreen, which should act as a timely reminder to never ever take what's said on this show as gospel. EVER. Enjoy.
12/03/211h 18m

#140 - The Isolation Tapes: Elis's Sister's Birthday

Set a reminder for April 12th. Not because pub gardens reopen, but because it’s Elis’s sister's birthday and he’s on a one man mission to make sure the whole world knows about it. Also, if anyone from the team at Desert Island Discs is listening then do get in touch; John has all his songs chosen, he’s just finalising his luxury item (is a full sized pub allowed?).
10/03/2145m 43s

#139 - Foreign Trees, Elusive Elis and Two Dozen Spices

After John finished a pen (a feat Elis claimed could never be achieved), graphologist Tracey took it upon herself to analyse the lads' handwriting. Her findings were eerily accurate. Elsewhere, we chat to the textbook definition of an Unsung Hero, Elis decides he doesn't need his microphone anymore, and John cries at his car's mileage again.
05/03/211h 19m

#138 - The Isolation Tapes: Perilous Pickles

Hypothetically, if you were dared to eat a deathly chilli pickle would you continue to eat the whole jar at your own behest? No? Well John did, and the words 'reaping' and 'sowing' now spring to mind.
03/03/2145m 12s

#137 - Market Stall Magic, Destructive Shuttlecocks and First Time Flukes

As Elis and John continue to bring A-grade content to the masses from their respective homes, it's now widely accepted that the internet issues that plague Elis's connectivity are actually providing him with a fraught edge that you just can't replicate in the safe and secure surroundings of New Broadcasting House. So, although we lose our Welsh counterpart every once in a while, when we ARE hearing him loud and clear, well, what an incredible talent we have on our hands.
26/02/211h 16m

#136 - The Isolation Tapes: Mr Rotovator

The lads discuss if Elis has what it takes to play League 1 football, if John could scale El Capitan (after six cans and with no extra training), and if Dave should do his gardening topless or bottomless.
24/02/2140m 48s

#135 - 40 Cats, Conwy Crossbars and Detective James

Today, discussion turns to Elis becoming a hypothetical Hollywood superstar, John's professional diligence, and the pitfalls of the phonetic alphabet.
19/02/211h 28m

#134 - The Isolation Tapes: Elis James’ Circuit Digs

Love is well and truly in the air this week as Elis flirts with the idea of becoming an archaeologist, and the boys discuss Dave’s “blue” Valentine's Day card (it has nothing to do with Manchester City).
17/02/2139m 18s

#133 - Patriotic Milk, Oche Orators and Scores On The Pause

This week, we find out whether Elis's snoring is crippling his love life, we have a strong contender for the best Made Up Game of the year so far, and much to the dismay of his Celtic co-host, John questions the integrity of BBC Wales.
12/02/211h 28m

#132 - The Isolation Tapes: John’s Pipe Vigil

Dismantling a buggy. An emergency phone call. A 20kg low-alcohol lager delivery. Just three of the high-octane interruptions that threatened to derail this week's episode. Naked numismatists also make an appearance. Which is nice.
10/02/2145m 53s

#131 - Bleeding Coins, Llantrisant Burns and Chargeable Spitfires

On today's show, Elis really gets behind his lifelong love of diesel, John bores a coin expert to death by talking about coins, and we all enjoy a Made Up Game called 'Things In Things'. To get in touch with the show, email elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk
05/02/211h 19m

#130 - The Isolation Tapes: The Naked Coin Collector

Elis and John discuss selling out (their stance is far less militant than Fugazi's). Also, are you struggling to get rid of your Christmas tree? Just wait for someone "knocking about" to come and collect it.
03/02/2147m 31s

#129 - Redd Pepper, Killer Calamities, and Amusing Muse Musings

A semblance of order was thankfully restored to on air proceedings as Producer Dave's hand remained firm and steady on the 5 Live tiller. If anything, this week's gaffs came courtesy of Messrs James and Robins as their musical credentials were thrown into disrepute during a brilliant Made Up Game. Elsewhere, John flexes his tax muscles with the HMRC and Elis astounds us with some top notch equine improv. Giddy up.
29/01/211h 31m

#128 - The Isolation Tapes: Ode to the 90s and 00s

There's an awful lot of love for the past today. Specifically for the decade when music finished (the 90s), student gigs and the days of misspent youth, as both Elis and John dream of returning to university.
27/01/2151m 11s

#127 - 'I Have Lost Output'

As slick, competent broadcasts go, today's show won't be bothering any end-of-year award ceremonies. With cut audio and overlooked emails just two lowlights of the programme, it's fair to say Producer Dave will have his head in his hands for some time. Still, good news about the fantastic Made Up Game.
22/01/211h 26m

#126 - The Isolation Tapes: Soft John

A busy hunk of pure intense chat this week, with seamless traversing of the timeless topics of the CIA, smells and getting kicked in the knackers. Also expect sweet tales of fatherhood and Elis laying into John for frankly little discernible reason.
19/01/2144m 29s

#125 - Dictionary Fawners, Mean Averages and a Penchant for Purple

Week two under the new tri-simulcast regime, and the boys are flying as they broadcast from their respective lounges and open wardrobes. Ulcer obliteration, homeschooling hacks and the plight of the education system all get a run out in what will certainly go down as a 'top-50' level show. Enjoy!
15/01/211h 18m

#124 – The Isolation Tapes: Between Wonnacott and Gooch

The boys are encapsulating two different aspects of the UK population's gamut of lockdown problems.In Casa del James the issues are of the practical home-schooling variety.In Robins towers the river to navigate is far more existential. So expect childcare stress chat from Elis, and from John rumination on what gives him purpose in life.
14/01/2143m 50s

#123 - The Isolation Tapes: Booze Banishment & Beauty Sleep

The lads return to keep you company throughout Lockdown 3. It's non-stop non-action in the Robins and James households, but they're full of public service advice on quitting booze and going to bed at 7pm.
12/01/2140m 27s

#122 - Glitchy Daleks, Sky High Plaques and Domestic Printing

In what was most certainly a radio first (it probably wasn't), Elis, John and Producer tri-simulcast from Bucks, South London and Salford as the chaps went LIVE for the first time from their respective homes.Was it a looser show than usual? Sure. Did the unpredictable performance of Elis's WIFI network create an air of edgy tension for the entire 90 minute broadcast? Maybe. Was it still top quallo #content. You betcha! After all, who doesn't want to hear a professional broadcaster blow their nose over the intro of David Bowie's 'Let's Dance'? Enjoy the chaos.
08/01/211h 19m

#121 - Elis and John's New Year's Day Nuggets

Elis and John look back over their favourite show moments from 2020. Including a day that John describes as 'the great betrayal,' a tense Made Up Game and a toe curling Shame Well. Happy New Year!
01/01/211h 17m

#120 - Elis and John's Christmas #Content

Hitting digital terrestrial airwaves on Christmas Morning, Elis and John bring you a very special show jam-packed with Christmas Content. Expect present swapping, an Unsung Hero from the North Pole, a festive and calorific Made Up Game, and Producer Dave's 'Big Christmas Poem'. Merry Christmas one and all!
25/12/201h 46m

#119 - Brian May, Plaque Chat and Poetreh

Elis and John chat to Queen legend, Brian May! Or, to rephrase, John chats to Brian May while Elis patiently listens. Elsewhere, some secondary school pupils have a poetic surprise for Producer Dave, and today’s Made Up Game comes with an accompanying spreadsheet that will win awards. Enjoy!
18/12/201h 23m

#118 - Overstated Groins, Toddler Tax and Bums

A show derailed by backsides, Elis and John try to keep up with a flurry of correspondence focused solely on celebrity derrières and how many we’ve 'collected'. There’s some normal show stuff, too.
11/12/201h 20m

#117 - Sackable Tardiness, Naked Nicholas Witchell and Bare Naked Shame

After arriving 12 minutes late for today’s show preparation, this may well be Elis’s final show on 5 Live, as John makes it his number one priority to get him disciplined/fired. Elsewhere, a man talks about inventing ATMs. It’s all go.
04/12/201h 20m

#116 - The Isolashion Tapes: Canadian Caners

As we bid adieu to the current series of Isolation Tapes, the team enjoy a couple of looseners as Elis and John partake in a very tense game of 'Flagulate'.
02/12/2055m 19s

#115 - Jayne Torvill, Petrol Pandemonium and Broadsheet Snogs

Once again proving why this show isn't part of the BBC's news quota, Elis and John discuss what modern petrol gauges represent, how you practised kissing when you were younger and why the TV programme Catchphrase isn't edgier. It's the kind of high-brow content Emma Barnett WISHES she'd thought up.
27/11/201h 16m

#114 - The Isolation Tapes: 'We're not actually putting this out, are we?'

Elis and John return for another instalment of The Isolation Tapes as John takes on the greatest challenge of his life - naming every country in the world from memory. Can he do it? Does Producer Dave have a robust marking system in place? Will it make good radio? And more importantly, what will Elis do during this 15 minute challenge? Listen to find out.
25/11/2050m 36s

#113 - Razz Ennui, Bedside Spanners and the BBC Away Day

Elis and John return with more accessible anecdotal content, intricately designed to actively engage with the BBC's much-sought-after under-35 demographic whilst successfully retaining 5 Live's older more traditional listenership. It's a podcast description as old as time.
20/11/201h 25m

#112 - The Isolation Tapes: Knee ops and jockstraps

The chaps return for more isolated 'waffle' (John's words) as Dave delivers a blow-by-blow account of his recent vasectomy, John weighs up his career options and Elis boasts about his incredible post-ride recovery time.
18/11/2039m 51s

#111 - Loocations, Tricky Tech and Unproducable Agreements

This week, it’s the build up to 'the snip' for Producer Dave, John demonstrates just how blummin' easy the rules of golf are to follow, and Elis offers a ‘come get me’ plea to the producers of 'I'm A Celeb...'
13/11/201h 20m

#110 - The Isolation Tapes: The band are back apart

With tighter restrictions in place across parts of the UK, Elis, John & Producer Dave once again come together from their respective abodes to offer some company and conversation.
11/11/2042m 59s

#109 - Old Man Elis, Elis is 40 and Elis’s Fifth Decade

On today’s show, John is keen to remind everyone that Elis is much older than he is, our Unsung Hero is a bike-riding bread-wielding icon, and despite many warnings to steer clear, the chaps give a surprising amount of air time to the US election.
06/11/201h 25m

#108 - Big Food, Vigorous Crushes and Tech Shame

A busy show with surprises around every corner, Elis and John are joined by a somewhat morbid Unsung Hero, worldwide geography proves vital for today’s Made Up Game, and we talk massive food.
30/10/201h 19m

#107 - Synonymphonies, Eternal Eyesight and Dave's Accessible Poetry

It was a jam packed show with Elis and John! We spoke to the inventor of the Rubik's Cube, discussed the times you met a celebrity and were oblivious to them and played a competitive Made Up Game. Enjoy!
23/10/201h 28m

#106 - Laughable Hair, Aggy Anchovies and 5-Minute Snogs

Join Elis and John for an Unsung Hero living life in the fast lane, a very sexy anecdote around Elis's discovery of the magnificent BBC Sounds, and a few timely appearances from your friend and mine, Billy Balance. Enjoy!
16/10/201h 19m

#105 - Wake Up Sheeple and Smell The Beef!

John talks us through his wine Hall of Fame, Elis takes full advantage of his 'home advantage' in Made up Games, and the wonderful Kerry Godliman pops by for a chat about the 'billion projects' she's working on.
09/10/201h 19m

#104 - Gateway Golf, Mag Fame and Frequent Invigoration

In a rare reversal of moods, John was the one with the pep in his step today, whereas Elis was stressed through having 'a lot on'. Nevertheless, it was another belter of a show with Marie Rose sauce garnering an unusual amount of on air coverage and a Made Up Game based on HMRC coming under close scrutiny.
02/10/201h 28m

#103 - Freedom You Can Trust, Synonyms and John's Canadian Brain

The chaps are joined by an Unsung Hero that Elis falls in love with, John offers more wayward opinions disguised loosely as facts (this time around the size of Canada), and friend and comedian Rob Rouse talks high vehicle mileage which is sure to get the Under 35s flocking to the podcast in their droves. If you miss the show, don't forget to download the Elis James and John Robins Show podcast from BBC Sounds.
25/09/201h 20m

#102 - Cistern Fear, Tommy Tabasco and Geo-Political Balance

Elis and John find unexpected joy in dealing in stone cold fact, Neil Diamond divides listener opinion and homemade guac comes in for a real hammering.
18/09/201h 29m

#101 - Feudal Britain, Bookshop Shame and Overwhelming Sounds

Today’s Unsung Hero is right up John’s golfing street, Elis gets edgy with 14th century Britain, and it transpires Tuffers is living everyone’s dream inside the cricketing bio bubble.
11/09/201h 21m

#100 - Salty Balance, WAFTAs and Upside Down Agreements

On today’s centurion episode, Elis and John ask about the times you’ve broken into your own property, the debate rages around mineral water, and John takes the law into his own hands.
04/09/201h 19m

#99 - Micro Pigs, Rude Rugby and Le Great Yarmouth

With backroom production staff dropping like flies, show vibes were a little looser than usual today. Still, what is live radio if backs aren't firmly against the wall for the entirety of the broadcast? Enjoy the chaos.
28/08/201h 22m

#98 - Viral Quiche, The Love of Lyndhurst and Haterz Gonna Hate

After a week away, Elis is back and he’s brimming with award-winning ideas. Elsewhere, the chaps pitch new sport 'Catch' to the Director of Sport at the IOC, our Unsung Hero is a daytime TV genius and it turns out American geography isn’t a strong point for either presenter, as today’s Made Up Game proves.
21/08/201h 19m

#97 - Lou Sanders, Herts Holidays and John’s Greedy Palms

With Elis holidaying in Berkhamsted, the wonderful Lou Sanders joined John on the show today! Will she do Elis proud in today’s Made Up Game? Can she successfully read John’s palm? And crucially, will she know when the mics are on and when they’re off (the answer is no). Enjoy!
14/08/201h 21m

#96 - Erotic Traffic, Half Cut Barbers and Catch

Elis and John are joined by a fantastic Unsung Hero who adorned a record-breaking album cover from the mid noughties, today's Shame Well is excruciating, and Elis invents a new sport called Catch.
07/08/201h 10m

#95 - Van Life, D:Ream Black Holes and Bare TMS

Today, Elis and John are joined by intimacy coordinator Ita O'Brien as today's Unsung Hero, another Made Up Game is thrown into disarray, and Elis enters a new spiritual age, apparently.
31/07/201h 33m

#94 - Projects, Patios and A Horse Walks Into A Bar

This week with Elis James and John Robins, Q Magazine editor Ted Kessler is on the show to talk about the sad demise of the publication, we ask for tales of your many unfinished projects, and we discover that Elis’s website perhaps needs a little spruce up.
24/07/201h 14m

#93 - Bravo Sierra, Upside Down Ducks and Edible Ailments

Join Elis and John for new feature Ask John, nearly new feature Edgy Elis, and very old feature Made Up Games. Plus, today’s topic is all about ‘when kids ruin things’. All this and more from Britain’s trendiest broadcasters.
17/07/201h 10m

#92 - Skirting Boards, Edgy Elis and Squeaky Bonnie Tyler

What better way to return to live radio for the first time in months than by talking to Royal Mail’s Stamp Strategy Manager. Aside from this huge exclusive, Elis gets edgy, John discusses extractor fans and today’s Made Up Game is as chaotic as ever. It’s good to be back!
10/07/201h 17m

#91 - The Isolation Tapes: 177,000 miles on the nose

As lockdown continues to ease, Elis and John conclude The Isolation Tapes with a socially distant rendezvous.
08/07/2027m 54s

#90 - Dead Pigeons, 50-Metre Walks and the Love of Lindt

Join Elis and John for a big interview with Jason Manford, a special culinary surprise for John, and a fantastic guest in former comedian Teresa Coyne.
03/07/201h 18m

#89 - The Isolation Tapes: How has our podcast become this?

John helps Elis figure out what his new hobby should be and Producer Jess and Elis are gob smacked with John's toaster fact.
01/07/2044m 38s

#88 - Base Gravy, French Shame and Dave's Big Joke

Elis James and John Robins are back with fellow comedian and author Jen Brister on to talk about what it's like surviving in lockdown once your whole tour is cancelled! The chaps are also after your newfound Lockdown Skills, this week's Shame Well takes place in France and is another cringeworthy masterpiece. Plus, can Elis make it 10 wins in a row in regular feature Made Up Games?
26/06/201h 17m

#87 - The Isolation Tapes: Chris Packham’s Rabbit Affray

It's a roller coaster of an episode! Beer shopping stresses, cycling across America, Chris Packham joins us, sexy virtual reality running and defrosting food.
24/06/2047m 42s

#86 - Well Dimensions, Crap Mountains and Dave's Hot Meat

The boys are joined by rising star Arlo Parks and Charlatans frontman Tim Burgess to talk about virtual online gigs, listening parties and 'being the youngest people alive'.
19/06/201h 15m

#85 - The Isolation Tapes: Hares and Rabbits - The Conclusion

After countless emails and lengthy discussions, Elis and John finally have the answer to the ongoing question - would a hare and rabbit be friends?
17/06/2027m 33s

#84 - Richard Osman, Sexy Silence and John's Rubbish Book

Elis and John are joined by the presenter and novelist Richard Osman. Records are broken in Made Up Games, James Cracknell enters the Shame Well, and friend of the show Tan France gives his verdict on John's new alice band.
12/06/201h 18m

#83 - The Isolation Tapes: Life is a Roller Coaster of Vibes

Elis and John discuss how John would fit into a boyband and Producer Dave gives us a great tip if you're struggling to get to sleep.
10/06/2048m 33s

#82 - Alice Bands, Matt Forde and John's Annual Thicko Tax

This week, John tries to fix a laptop with a golf tee, Elis showcases a completely pointless skill, and guest Matt Forde explains what it was like to walk outside for the first time in 12 weeks.
05/06/201h 11m

#81 - The very best of the #BonusContent (with Sarah Millican)

As Elis and John attempted to fulfil their contractual obligation of delivering an ambitious number of podcasts in a matter of weeks, friend of the show Sarah Millican guides us through the highs, lows and mediums of Elis and John's #BonusContent.
04/06/201h 2m

#80 - The Big Birthday Bonanza

Elis and John celebrate one year on BBC Radio 5 Live with some amazing surprise guests that render both presenters speechless.
29/05/201h 18m

#79 - The Isolation Tapes: Yoga Pranks

We've heard all about John's yoga journey but this week we hear about Elis' experience. John gives us an update on their overly ambitious contractual obligation to produce podcasts, and thoughts turn to fake tan and supermarket techniques.
28/05/2039m 24s

#78 - The Isolation Tapes: A rare case of nostalgitis

In today's Isolation Tape, Elis feigns illness to justify his recent performances and John reads more of your emails.
26/05/2038m 31s

#77 - Basics, Basics, Fundamentals

In no real change to usual proceedings, John isn't happy with this week's Made Up Game, Jon Richardson says hello from his home made pub to talk about his new podcast, and the chaps get some much-needed professional advice on their out of control barnets. Enjoy!
22/05/201h 14m

#76 - The Isolation Tapes: The Judgemental DIY Guy

Elis tells us about a story that tugged at his heart strings and a listener's email leads them to talking about, your friend and mine, the service station.
21/05/2041m 45s

#75 - The Isolation Tapes: Pedantic Notes

John tells us about something annoying he found on his car, Producer Dave talks boozy jogging and a listener sends in a great story about Liam Gallagher.
19/05/2043m 34s

#74 - Soggy Flares, Suzi Ruffell and Snoop Dogg's Sideline

This week, John takes up Yoga, the Falklands / Faroes controversy continues to rage, and the brilliant Suzi Ruffell pops by - virtually - for a chat.
15/05/201h 13m

#73 - The Isolation Tapes: Half Man Half Biscuit

John talks us through his new musical discovery, we discover a new way to spice up our daily walks and a listener provides us with a conundrum which left us scratching our heads.
14/05/2039m 42s

The Isolation Tapes: Canageddon

The boys have started watching the TV show 'Normal People' and have some thoughts on the steamy scenes. Plus, they reminisce about those house parties we threw as teenagers.
12/05/2040m 0s

#71 - Edible Loveplay, Adorable Sneezing and Sarah Millican

Bringing the laughs over a passable video conferencing system and some shaky broadband, Elis and John are joined by the wonderful Sarah Millican.
08/05/201h 14m

#70 - The Isolation Tapes: John's Lockdown Birthday

It's John's Lockdown Birthday! We give him a little surprise and discuss his new-found fashion sense.
06/05/2041m 47s

#69 - Elis doesn't know where the Falkland Islands are

The chaps are joined by special guests Josh Widdicombe and Rob Beckett, Elis tries to bribe Producer Dave over a catastrophic geographical faux pas, and John falls in love with our Unsung Hero.
01/05/201h 13m

#68 - The Isolation Tapes: 50,000 Johns and Lou Sanders

Elis and John discuss their dream festival line-up and we're joined by Lou Sanders!
30/04/2044m 24s

#67 - The Isolation Tapes: Movie Blunders: The Movie

Elis and John read out some emails from frontline workers and things getting heated between them when discussing Elton John.
28/04/2046m 30s

#66 - The Isolation Tapes: Backstreet Bakers

As we enter our sixth week in lockdown, Elis and John read your emails and thoughts turn to what we'll do when the lockdown is lifted.
27/04/2044m 4s

#65 - Brummie Shakespeare and James Acaster

Elis and John are here to provide some much needed laughs. James Acaster joins us to talk about his lockdown experience and podcast series Perfect Sounds, and we get a pretty dark Shame Well. Enjoy!
24/04/201h 16m

#64 - The Isolation Tapes: A Mechanical Hug

This week thoughts turn to Velcro walls and we get an email from friend of the show Sarah Millican.
22/04/2035m 54s

#63 - The Isolation Tapes: Blank Canvas Robins

Elis and John read out your emails, discuss virtual dating and your friend and mine... the tree.
20/04/2049m 17s

#62 - Better than The Ashes

Elis James and John Robins fill your Friday afternoons with big laughs and top quality #content. Producer Dave tells us about welcoming his twins into the world and we play a very tense Made Up Game. Enjoy!Plus download Elis and John's Isolation Tapes podcast on BBC Sounds.
17/04/201h 18m

#61 - The Isolation Tapes: Having A Big Cry

Elis and John read out your emails, thoughts turn to having a big cry and there's an update with John's hay fever journey.
15/04/2045m 58s

#60 - The Isolation Tapes: Johnny Two Sheds

Elis, John and Producer Dave read through your emails and discuss shed consolidation and John's new exercise regime.
13/04/2048m 47s

#59 - Hands Hands Hands

Elis and John bring you more fun from a safe social distance. Elis crumbles under pressure, John talks us through his meticulous PR campaign strategy, and today's Shame Well will make you want to run into the sea. Enjoy!
10/04/201h 16m

#58 - The Isolation Tapes: Crying in the Urinals

As Elis, John and Producer Dave start to really settle into their lockdown life they get an email which ruffles some feathers.
09/04/2044m 1s

#57 - The Isolation Tapes: Little Lord Fauntleroy's Blue Tick Wallpaper

As social distancing continues, Elis, John and Producer Dave's thoughts turn to lockdown facial hair and which internet browser James Bond would use.
07/04/2041m 1s

#56 - Isolation Vents, Exciting Mortgage Emails and John Deacon Masks

Broadcasting from their respective homes, Elis and John use a couple of USB mics, a serviceable internet connection and some top quality video conferencing software to bring you more much-needed laughs.
03/04/201h 12m

#55 - The Isolation Tapes: James Dean didn’t get hay fever, did he?

As we all settle into our new environs and routines, Elis, John and Producer Dave discuss gone off wine, superfluous soil and parsnips going through puberty.
01/04/2043m 24s

#54 - The Isolation Tapes: Crows and Crohn's

As the social distancing continues Elis and John bring some relief from their 'Isolation Pods' from the three corners of the UK. Well, Stockport, Crystal Palace and Hampshire.
29/03/2036m 15s

#53 - Hull4Heroes, Merkel's House Party and 800 kilos of Soil

As we all remain socially distant, Elis and John bring you another fantastic Unsung Hero that pulls on all the heartstrings, John's had a golf course built for him whilst in isolation, and Elis goes to great lengths for that all-important vitamin D.
27/03/201h 10m

#52 - The Isolation Tapes: Clever old Dagda

As Elis, John and Producer Dave continue to remain socially distant, thoughts inevitably turn to pubs, darts and strategically placed awards. #elisandjohn
25/03/2035m 16s

#51 - The Isolation Tapes: Clock on, clock off

Recorded across the UK in Crystal Palace (Elis), Amersham (John) and Stockport (Producer Dave), enjoy the first instalment of Elis and John’s Isolation Tapes. More to follow!
24/03/2033m 25s

#50 - Clean Gin, The Good Deed Feed and Keegan's Great Speech

Recorded in three bedrooms in Crystal Palace, Amersham and Stockport, Elis, John and Producer Dave try their best to offer some light relief in these tricky times. Expect a huge question from John, an absolute legend of an Unsung Hero and a whole lot of controversy in Made Up Games.
22/03/201h 5m

#49 - The Driving Range (Bonus #content)

He’s tackled crazy golf, but with the expert coaching skills of John, can Elis hit a proper ball with a proper club at the driving range?
18/03/2023m 24s

#48 - Tasty Sanitisers, Mistaken Drug Mules and Eating Eggs Forever

With the Cheltenham Gold Cup taking them off the air for a week, Elis and John bring you a special ‘podcast-only’ version of their usual Friday afternoon show, with regular features including John's Shame Well and Made Up Games.
13/03/201h 3m

#47 - Board Games (Bonus #content)

To fulfil their contractual obligation, Elis James and John Robins are releasing a number of bonus podcasts - this time we visit a board games cafe.
11/03/2028m 21s

#46a - Retired Golf Pros, Snooker Cues and West Country Larkin

Welcome to a loose and lively edition of Elis James and John Robins. Today, we learn that Elis is enjoying a midlife crisis, John can't transfer large files between phone and computer because he's 'dim', and we all appreciate a lovely Made Up Game based on the UK's finest rivers.Please note, due to gremlins in the system, this is part 1 of 2 of episode #46. Part 2 of 2 is now also available. It's all very confusing.
06/03/201h 3m

#46b - Retired Golf Pros, Snooker Cues and West Country Larkin

Welcome to a loose and lively edition of Elis James and John Robins. Today, we learn that Elis is enjoying a midlife crisis, John can't transfer large files between phone and computer because he's 'dim', and we all appreciate a lovely Made Up Game based on the UK's finest rivers. Please note, due to gremlins in the system, this is part 2 of 2 of episode #46.
06/03/2047m 8s

#45 - Producer Dave’s Guide to Manchester (Bonus #Content)

Elis and John continue to rattle through their obligatory bonus podcasts with a somewhat underwhelming guided tour of Manchester from Producer Dave.
04/03/2044m 1s

#44 - Blunderstorms, Cryptic Crosswords and John's 2012 Rebrand

You join us in the midst of a Twitter storm, as a video clip of Elis kicking a ball at a 7-year old's groin threatens to spread like wildfire. Luckily, the kid is fine, the parents couldn't give an S, and seven days after the incident, Elis is nearly able to sleep again. All's well that ends well! Enjoy the podcast.Text 85058 (charged at your standard message rate). Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn
28/02/201h 47m

#43 - Chesham United Commentary (Bonus #Content)

So as not to renege on their contract, Elis James and John Robins don their sheepskin coats and head to north west London to commentate on Chesham United v Gosport Borough.
26/02/2043m 47s

#42 - Quiz Controversies, Cake Drawing and The Dan Walker Masterclass

Live and loose from Salford this week, Elis and John bring you another belter of a show as today's Made Up Game ruffles a few feathers, the boys discuss the controversies surrounding pub quizzes and we all celebrate the peerless genius of everyone's favourite app - BBC Sounds. #content.
21/02/201h 55m

#41 - Escape Room (Bonus #content)

To fulfil their contractual obligation, Elis James and John Robins are releasing a number of bonus podcasts - after a lot of stress, we present to you....The Escape Room episode!
19/02/2029m 6s

#40 - Harry Potter Jobsworths, Alex Horne and The Want of Prince

The big four-oh sees John embarrassed by his full-time fiancée on Valentine's Day, comedian Alex Horne jumps on the Chesham bandwagon and our Unsung Hero is an absolute belter.
14/02/201h 50m

#39 - Bowling (Bonus #content)

To fulfil their contractual obligation, Elis James and John Robins are now hurriedly releasing a number of bonus podcasts - including them hitting the lanes for a game of bowling
12/02/2024m 18s

#38 - Content Corruption, Commentary and Ken Clarke's Curryhouse

Producer Dave shares his shame of 'losing' three podcast recordings, the boys are invited down to Chesham FC for a spot of punditry, and we're joined by a Teletubby. Enjoy!
07/02/201h 45m

#37 - Crazy Golf (Bonus #Content)

So as not to renege on their contract, Elis James and John Robins are now hurriedly releasing a number of bonus podcasts, as the race is on to hit their pre-agreed target (a target that, in hindsight, was ambitious at best). For today's contractual obligation, the boys enjoy a round of Crazy Golf.
05/02/2040m 8s

#36 - Fingers On Pies, Whatsapp Fails and Bubble Bath Decadence

During today's episode, Elis reveals himself as a terrible parent, we say hello to a great Unsung Hero, and we learn that John knows very little about the Spice Girls. Enjoy!Text 85058 (charged at your standard message rate). Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn
31/01/201h 48m

#35 - Peak Times, Chippy Tunes and The Viscount of Value

In this very special episode, we're joined by a hero in these parts - Martin Lewis! Elsewhere, we enjoy some millennial slang in today's Made Up Game and we learn all about Simon Mayo's repeat fees.Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn
24/01/201h 53m

#34 - Elis's Ginormous Lev, Dirty Shame and Boots Trolley Dashes

A-grade badinage this week, as Elis and John guide you through shame, games and - after Elis was invited onto Pointless Celebrities without John - a whole load of division. Embrace the tension, and enjoy offering 34!
17/01/201h 49m

#33 - Adrian’s Fat Tongue, Mind Scenarios and Football Stickers

It’s another fun filled Friday with Elis and John! We delved deep into The Shame Well and this week's story involved football stickers. Elis told us how he wants to step back from having an opinion on everything and John introduces us to his mind scenario. Enjoy!
10/01/201h 46m

#32 - Topless Cooking, London Buses and Andy Zaltzman

Welcome to show one of 2020 for Elis James and John Robins! Amongst all the usual fun, the boys play a Made Up Game that - in Producer Dave's words - was perhaps a little too tense, cricket satirist and statistician Andy Zaltzman pops in for a chat, and there's every possibly that Elis's Christmas was even bleaker than John's. Dig in.Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn
03/01/201h 47m

#31 - Elis and John's Christmas Crackers

As a fun year draws to a close, sit back, pour yourself another Advocaat, and relive some of Elis and John's choice cuts from the last six months on 5 Live, with lots of brand new #content thrown in for good measure. See you in 2020!
26/12/191h 40m

#30 - Russell Howard, Willy Warmers and Elis's Chunky Bum - Live From The Pub!

Fun and games galore as Elis and John see out the year from a London boozer in front of a live audience. A perfect end to a fantastic six months on 5 Live. Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn
20/12/191h 28m

#29 - A Generic Central London Christmas Market (Bonus #Content)

With the boys not on the actual radio this week, they've excitedly scurried off to one of the capital's popular festive landmarks. Darts, mulled wine and velcro hammers are all big talking points over this 40-minute slice of bonus badinage.
13/12/1940m 1s

#28 - Medieval Sword Fighting, Keith Floyd and Dim Sheep

Taking ‘live and loose’ to new levels, the ‘Enfant Terrible’ are back and badder than ever! In other words, it’s a fun show, which will raise a smile. Enjoy!
06/12/191h 51m

#27 - Coins, New Kids On The Block and Al Murray’s Sausage Roll

Take a tired Elis James, add an ill John Robins, and weirdly, you get a blummin' great show. Expect S of the P stuff, along with all the usual features including Shame Well, a belting Made Up Game and a fascinating Unsung Hero. Enjoy! #content. Hilarious, warm and unashamedly ashamed, their award-winning chemistry will get you over the finish line of the working week.Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn
29/11/191h 30m

#26 - Alignment Meetings, The Golden Age of Welsh Football and Stormzy

This week Elis basks in the glory of Wales's Euro success, John sails close to the general election wind, and we welcome a Glastonbury-related Unsung Hero onto the show. Enjoy!Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn
22/11/191h 40m

#25 - Boozy Cruisey, Carbon Neutral Mind Holidays and the Art of the Pre-Record

Welcome to the 25th instalment of EJ&JR on BBCR5L! Where does the time go? This week, we play a Made Up Game that has its own jingle, a Queen-based game goes wrong, and Producer Dave has some big news.Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn
15/11/191h 39m

#24 - Colons, Boilers and the North South Divide

Separated by 200 miles, but united through great chat, Elis and John deliver another belter of show from London and Salford respectively.Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn
08/11/191h 38m

#23 - Loose and Live from Tobacco Dock

Elis and John come from East London for BBC Music Introducing Live today. It was S of your P stuff at times (will make sense if you listen), but with performances from Cass McCombs and ZUZU, lots of fun was had. Enjoy!
01/11/191h 24m

Bonus #content: How Do You Cope? Trailer

Available now on BBC Sounds, a brand new podcast with Elis and John called How Do You Cope? Episode 1 is with former doctor turned stand-up Adam Kay about the stress and how he coped as a junior doctor in the NHS. Search for “How Do You Cope?” on BBC Sounds, or visit bbc.co.uk/cope for more information on the series.
31/10/1939s

#22 - White lies, Bum Cameras and Bowie

Elis and John return for another week of fun, where they speak to the woman who photographed a lot of the Gallagher brother fights, John tells us about his latest trip to the doctors and Elis talks about a white lie he told which involves David Bowie. Enjoy!
25/10/191h 43m

#21 - Lad Whispering, Corporates and Fun On The Toilet

Elis and John return for another week of fun, where they talk to the inventor of Bluetooth, John discusses his Hunted fantasy, and the perils of brushing your teeth on the toilet. Enjoy! Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn
18/10/191h 39m

#20 - Josh Widdicombe, Boozy Birthdays and The WAFTAs

If you've always wanted to hear friend-of-the-show Josh Widdicombe discuss the existence of a lesser-spotted food item in Pret's airport outlets, then this is the podcast episode you've been waiting for. There's also the usual fun with Made Up Games, Shame Well and The Weirdness Amnesty. Enjoy!Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn
11/10/191h 52m

#19 - Party Bags, Hurdy Gurdies and Edible Christmas Trees

The boys are back with another incredible Weirdness Amnesty, a Van Morrison love in with Kermode and Mayo, and a lot of disdain for sat navs. Enjoy! Email: elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk #elisandjohn
04/10/191h 47m
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