The Corona Diaries

The Corona Diaries

By Steve Hogarth

Lead singer of Marillion, father, hippy, punk, soul singer, progressive rockstar (wtf!), defender of the faith, voice of reason in a world gone crazy... ...and now podcaster. Join me as I talk about my life and what is rambling around in my head. Along the way I will focus on some of the stories that have shaped my career and my life, as well as reading from my diaries and offering my take on the wider world. Stay safe, h P.S I began this journey just as CoVid-19 took hold and changed our lives, possibly forever, so it seems apt to reference that in the naming of the podcast.

Episodes

Chapter 209. Sub Brownian Motion

I am properly losing track of what I am reading every week in the diary section.Even since we finished Volume II of The Invisible Man (1998-2014) I have been scrabbling around on my hands and knees (figuratively speaking of course) under the lid of my MacBook trying to locate odd bits of stuff to read out.And because I keep stumbling on stuff, we have lost all sense of chronology in terms of what we have included and what can still be used. Which is why I sent Ant an email on Wednesday and asked him to look at a couple of pages to try and ascertain if we had used them already. I couldn't be sure, and as it turned out neither could he, but we both plumped for the 'travelling to Lille' extract as being the safer option - so that is what you are getting.And as far as the rest of the episode is concerned, well it's just the other Mr.H being brilliant. Nuff said.Love'n'railcardshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
20/05/241h 5m

Chapter 208. Utter Fidelity

We don't very often about the technical side of producing The Corona Diaries (see what I did there Lucy) mainly because we don't want to be seen to be blowing our collective trumpet, and partly because it isn't that interesting. But it is slightly relevant this week so here we go.Most weeks, usually on a Tuesday, Ant sets up a Zoom call and we congregate - rarely on time, and never before ten - to ease ourselves into the process. In short order we hit the record button, and away we go, but because the audio quality on Zoom is a little sketchy we choose to capture our individual tracks on separate software at either end. Then either Ant or myself will take those tracks, along with the intro/outro beds and the piano noodles and build what will ultimately be the finished episode.With me so far? Cracking!Now one of the little tricks of the trade is that we both have to wear headphones or earphones, because if you monitor via headphones the sound of the zoom call would be rerecorded through the microphone and create a kind of echo. Seems obvious right, but the reason I am telling you is that we have a perfect example of that this week when our guest joined us and did that very thing...So while you listen to #208 see if you can spot that little moment, because it is a little peek behind the “tech curtain”. Mind you, it’s probably because his volume goes up to eleven.Love'n'Leonardh
13/05/2449m 32s

Chapter 207. The 5 Star Omelette Station

It doesn’t really matter which of the many metaphors you choose, win or lose, the ups and the downs, the peaks or the troughs. The fact is that when we started this run of AHBID themed episodes we kinda hoped by roping in members of the band we would be able to provide a broader collective on the making of that particular record.Alas it hasn’t really worked out that way, so although we have managed to tease out a few nuggets so far, this particular aspiration is heading for the bucket. (N.B we do still have Rothers to go, but on current form it ain’t that promising…)But with every near miss comes a full-on hit, and the one thing we didn’t expect was how each of these chapters have been imbued with the quirkiness of the particular invited guest. And so it is with the arrival of The Count, as we delve into clicks, debate marmalade and grill Ant over some frankly bizarre behaviour around eggs.hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
06/05/241h 3m

The purists soak their beans overnight

There is something about being in a room (or indeed on a Zoom call) with Trousers that is one of life's great pleasures. Let me clarify that, because it is all about the capitalisation. Being in a room with trousers is a fairly mundane occurrence for many of us, but being in a room with Trousers is a joy.The fact is, he is really funny. Mike Hunter thinks so, Ant thinks so, and I am sure after listening to #206 of TCD (sorry Lucy) you will think so as well. So as much as there are so really insights into the creation of Reprogram The Gene in todays pod, and believe me there are, if you are anything like me they will now be forever intertwined with tales of practical food containers and the purveyors thereof.Life is better when you take the Pete way.Love'n'knitwearhTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
29/04/2459m 55s

Chapter 205. Hanging out with a fellow cabbage

Well we have only gone and ruddy well done it...It might have evolved slowly as an idea, but you can't say that we haven't upped our game a little and actually delivered. Assuming that you are up-to-date with your TCD listening (sorry Lucy) you will know that instead of recoding a load of episodes about FEAR (which as it turns out we have already done...) we are moving onto some chat about AHBID.And this idea, which in itself is perfectly solid, became turbo-charged when we decided to talk about each of the tracks in turn, and invite a different member of the beat combo to join us and pad out the discussion.So this week we begin at the beginning, with recollections of the process of writing and recording Be Hard on Yourself in the company of Mad Jack himself, Mark Kelly.Strap in, get ready, push the button...Hugs,hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
22/04/2452m 11s

Episode 204. It’s either a bearskin or really big hair.

It runs out the best way to throw your fellow podcast host off his axis, is to turn up to his house and proclaim “I’m here” with outstretched hands.After a couple of hundred of these over Zoom, there are consequences in jumping in the car and heading up to Heckmondwike for a face-to-face. Firstly there is no obvious improvement in the depth or quality of the content, and all that happened is that, basically, we buggered off out for lunch.Secondly in a strange, body-switch-kind-of-moment, I became the sane one as Ant had a bit of a wobble and not only got his albums in the wrong order, but pretty much forgot a whole load of TCD episodes (sorry Lucy) that we had recorded about FEAR.But being the old pros that we are, we powered on through and managed to start a bit of a chat about An Hour Before It’s Dark. Ant then usefully came up with a plan for the next few weeks which I pondered whilst helpfully locating not 3, but 4 pieces in Ant's unfeasibly difficult jigsaw.After that I stuck some yellow stars on my face and went home.Love and Mott the Hoople, h x
15/04/241h 6m

Chapter 203. The nutter from Nantes

What can I tell you about this this week's TCD (sorry Lucy)...Well if it is randomness you are after, then we have it in the kind of quantity that would require a sturdy barrow to transport it about the place. In fact we start in a random place and then we proceed to meander, seemingly unchecked by social convention or common decency.Which is why we go from football, to snooker, to Warren Close, to the Mr Men to Stephens (and indeed Stevens) and then back to football.I also found another bit of diary from 2021, just in case you were wondering about the alliterative episode title, and it really is bloody illuminating on the subject of public transport and low-level milk pilfering.Love'n'the nutter pheromonehTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
08/04/2456m 38s

Chapter 202. An episode with a lovely ring.

The story of TCD this week (sorry Lucy) has an awful lot to do with two questions and one piece of re-direction.The first question, and let me tell you neither Ant or myself were able to proffer any kind of definitive answer ourselves, is whether or not a number can be classified as a palindrome. The second question is also a recognition that something Ant said may well be wrong. He asserted that the clock on a mobile phone relies on its GPS location to ensure it always shows the right time but on reflection this may be twaddle. We now think it may be the 'carrier settings' of the service provider that provide this information.In both instances we throw this out to you dear listener, to offer your insights and set us straight.Oh and I nearly forgot the re-direction, well if you click here you will not only see my painting from CTTE, but some of the other efforts from my esteemed colleagues and a great pic of Tony Levin.Love'n'FA cup final replayshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
01/04/2455m 55s

Chapter 201. I'm mellower, but it is all relative...

There is most definitely a sense of meander about this week’s TCD (sorry Lucy).After all the excitement of Cruise to the Edge, I needed a little bit of a reset so Ant took pity and let me empty my head of the all things that had made an impression over the course of the trip, without worrying about whether they were in order, were said more than once, or indeed made sense.The only caveat to that is we did address the elephant in the room, namely the speculation around my seeming ever-present light blue T-Shirt. This is public service podcasting after all.Oh, and listen out for something special at the end.Love to the factor of 5!hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
25/03/241h 4m

Chapter 200. Did I mention I was Vegan…?

A little late (to be fair, we did warn you it would be) but we actually made it to the big number.Three years, 10 months and 12 days ago the first episode proper of TCD (sorry, Lucy) was published and there probably isn’t a one of us that would have thought we would be here, 1414 days later, offering up a bi-centennial chapter whilst aboard a boat.And in all honesty this one was about as wacky as they come, with the irrepressible Nick Beggs joining in, taking over and introducing us all to jazz origami. Now I know what what it must have been like to interview Rod Hull and Emu.Anyway thanks to all of you that have come along for the ride, especially those of you who have embraced your inner purpleness. It really has meant a lot to both of us.Love you all…hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
13/03/2456m 55s

Chapter 199. The Karma Scale

Believe it or not #199 was actually quite a tricky one to pitch, because it is difficult to focus on the job in hand when you know that an episode with a significant number is just around the corner.Of course TCD (sorry Lucy) has a secret weapon that can be deployed in just these circumstances, and so we pressed the big red button marked ‘slipshod’ and powered on through.And even when we are being playful some brevity still seeps through, so amongst the purple gags and seriously reckless tempting of fate, there is a dollop of insight about the Seasons End tour.Anyway I must fly, darlings, I’m off to pack for CTTE, and I will speak to you from the other side… Love’n’BlackburnhTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
04/03/241h 2m

Chapter 198. It isn't just gold, it's gold-plated gold.

As you would expect after a couple of weeks of content-heavy TCD (sorry Lucy, and big tens to Captain Hunter) we regress to a more predictable episode complete with a heavy dose of wheezy laughs and surreal notions.The reading this week is an almost forgotten recollection of my 100th gig, somewhere back in the hazy days of Seasons End in a disco. Thanks to Roger H for the inspiration (and the copy) which we seized upon, because it was such a bloody good idea.Other than that it flits around all over the place this week, so prepare yourself for a wee bit of everything and hopefully we will all arrive at the same point after about an hour.Bubble sends his love and says he's got a killer idea for Micheal Jackson.h PS. Sorry Tom. There was no need for it.TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
26/02/2459m 53s

Chapter 197. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking.

As you can expect Ant and I were very pleased when the face of Captain Hunter appeared on the Zoom screen for the recording of this week's TCD (sorry, Lucy).He had said he was happy to come back and talk a little bit more about 'With Friends' and being the fine upstanding fellow that he is, he was as good as his word. Of course that DID mean we moved onto the rather more delicate subject of the parts of the process that had been somewhat stressful as far as Mike was concerned. Turns out it was ME who did the most damage! I had no idea...Anyway, all's well that ends well, and that particular album certainly ended well. As I write he's on his way to the village en-route to Southport to drop off yet more forgotten items. (Doh!) Looks like I am forgiven then.Love’n’pretty-lilac-lightshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
19/02/2454m 22s

Episode 196. If it were up to me, Marillion would be more like Disney

There are so many positives about having Mike Hunter joining us on TCD (sorry Lucy) and just one slight downside.The positives are so obvious that they almost write themselves, I mean let's start with sheer bloody congnisance. It was such a joy after three previous attempts (and numerous aborted run-ups) to actually put some proper narrative and understanding around the 'With Friends' project.Mike provides the insight and joins the dots with the effortlessness of a man who really can recall what we did and why we did it. He is undoubtedly the glue in so many ways, and as much as we cherish him, we could still do it more.And the slight downside I hear you cry? Well, both Ant and I do feel like we have to be on our best behaviour when he's around. It doesn't come naturally to either of us...Now for God's sake, shut the curtains...hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
12/02/2456m 6s

Chapter 195. Has it run its course Lucy?

On behalf of Anthony and myself, I want to begin by issuing a disclaimer about this week's episode of TCD (sorry Lucy).You could be forgiven for assuming such a decision could be down to a more than excessive use of bad language, or an inadvertent turn of phrase that in hindsight was a little unfair or unkind. Or maybe even that the accuracy of the material contained within was so far wide of the mark, that it managed to exceed the generous levels of tolerance we allow ourselves.Actually it's none of these things.Ant's straight off a plane from LA and I'm straight off a heavy day's rehearsal. The reality is Chapter 195 just isn't us at our shimmering best, so we thought it only fair to warn you in advance, apologise, and say it won't happen again, (unless it does).Don't get me wrong it is still worth a listen, actually it’s quite amusing in places, but it's a reminder that we are only human after all (well part-human at least).The one thing we aren't though is downhearted, in fact we're looking forward to regrouping for #196 un jet-lagged and post-gig-relieved. Aah...Love'n'clean feathershPlanet Marzipan Podcast - Episode 23TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
05/02/2448m 55s

Chapter 194. Dawn in California, Joe sends hugs

Ant’s in L.A.Jet-lag, gin and an eight hour time lag what could possibly go wrong?Actually against all the odds (and yes I appreciate that most of the odds we face at TCD are self-inflicted) we have managed to get an episode together this week.It’s very much a free-wheelin’ west coast vibe, that touches on some of the stuff we have been talking about recently as well as lifting the lid on one of the unspoken vices of rock’n’roll.So wrap a tea towel round your head, channel your inner-Eagle and let #194 wash over you.Love’n’surfboardshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
29/01/2447m 22s

Chapter 193. And some people know me as Papa

With last week's ill-health safely in the rear view mirror, we were back up to what passes for normal in the curious world of TCD.If you have been listening for the past few months you will be familiar with the fact that we take to the recording process, the way some people take to using a treadmill, and what I mean by that is that we take 5-10 minutes to get up to speed. So after focussing on the state of my ears, and the trauma of visiting the dentist in the seventies and eighties we settle into the business of the day.First up is my pending live project in Rome, and that is followed by another chunk of chat about the With Friends from the Orchestra album and how it came into being.How that got us to something that terrifies me is anybody's business, but it did.Love'n'recharging-the-firewallhTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
22/01/241h

Chapter 192. In amongst the football boots and the dog food.


I haven't been well. What's more I haven't been well and I am going to tell you about it. Which means there is going to be some fairly detailed description of my symptoms, and you might want to take that into account if you are sensitive to matters around vomit. Whilst I am happy to warn you, I make no apology for its inclusion. What can I say, I am someone that overshares.Anyway it knocked me back, and it knocked the schedule back a bit so apologies to the Purple folk for the slight delay in proceedings, as I repositioned myself back to an even keel.On the positive side I have chanced on some never-before-heard-diary.... so, as my gran used to say, "It's an ill wind that blows nobody any good" (Mind you, she WAS a bit mad.)Love'n'bedresthTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
15/01/241h 1m

Chapter 191. Third drawer on the left in the laptop

The vibe of #191 is very much around easing into the new year gently. I am not sure how the return to work has been for you, but for Ant & myself it felt like we needed a little bit of a soft nudge into 2024. So today is somewhat chatty and loose - but at least you get to find out what I have been up to over Christmas.On the subject of what I have been up to, if you have tickets (or plans to book) for the new ABBA experience Voyage then proceed with caution as there are a couple of minor spoilers about half way through.Oh and please take note of the request for your Marillo-journeys. It would be really nice to include some of these over the next few months.Resolutions:More Love. Less Swearing. Dry January.(Is that the dry crackle I hear of hell freezing over?..)hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
08/01/2459m 55s

Chapter 190. Purple & Festive

We had a Livestream and it was bloody lovely. All the Purple folk were invited and Ant managed to persuade Film-Maker extraordinaire Tim Sidwell and Manager extraordinaire Lucy Jordache to join us for a pre-Christmas natter.And because it all went off so well we decided as a special treat for Christmas Day we would take the highlights, stick holly in the top and serve them up warm with lashings of brandy butter.So kick back, pour yourself a Sherry and let Chapter 190 do its thing. The questions were provided by Christine, Michael, Sarah, Stephen, Helen, Martin and Jeanine and I must thank Linette for bringing me gin-on-request just at the point it was needed.Have a great time out there you crazy cats, and thanks for your company in 2023.h
25/12/2353m 55s

Chapter 189. Puddings and Hard Liquor

What a strange thing time is…Is it linear or is it, as Doctor Who suggested, a little bit more sort of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey.Let me explain…When we recorded this on Monday I had already been to Liverpool, but unless you had been there, you won't have heard about it yet.I hadn’t been on a Zoom call with a group of purples at that stage, but now I have, and although you haven’t heard that either let me tell you it was bloody lovely.If you are listening to this on Friday then I haven’t played Oxford at all, but if you are listening to it on Monday then it has been and gone and I have played it twice.And if you aren’t Purple, and you are running a couple of weeks behind with your TCD (sorry Lucy) listening then Christmas has gone and it’s already 2024, even though I haven’t wrapped this (last) year’s presents yet.And somewhere amongst all that I somehow managed a blindingly good show in Sussex!See, told you it was strangeLove’n’sockets-by-the-bedhTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
18/12/2357m 25s

Chapter 188. Fishing for Peas

We have hit two milestones with this week’s episode of TCD (sorry Lucy)...1.⁠ ⁠We managed the longest pre-title ramble in the history of the podcast. A full 25+ minutes to set ourselves before we were able to actually start the episode proper. No doubt we will best it in the future but for now our ability to waffle for that long is either impressive or not depending on your point of view. I have a perverse idea that we could get to the formal introduction just ahead of the outro jingle in the future, but for the time being this is the best we have managed so far.2.⁠ ⁠We reach the end of the published diary, we will of course settle on something to fill the break in the middle at some point in the future but for now we will have to wing it for a bit. Look out for an audiobook coming your way soon.Finally if you a purple there are updates a plenty after the diary. Get your thinking caps on…Ding dong,hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
11/12/2356m 55s

Chapter 187. Kevlar-coated falsetto

We've been dealing with stuff this week on TCD (sorry, Lucy) you know the kind of thing, tying up loose ends, throwing a few ideas about and coming up with a plan to secure me a personalised registration plate.Literally, just your average Tuesday.The Tour Before Christmas finished at the weekend, and as both Ant & I had both been in Camden for the tour finale, that gave us the chance to have a bit of a natter about it. Cue the pair of us riffing on setlist, on-stage patter and trying to stay the right side of sobriety.Oh, and if you are purple stick around for some work-in-progress patron updates...we need your feedback on those.Love'n'songs in a major keyh
04/12/2358m 55s

Chapter 186. Whose idea was it to put a lawyer on the tour-bus...?

Coming to you from Utrecht, and with a guest.In reality that is all you need to know about #186 before you press play, because the rest is going to be coming at you thick and fast. The one thing I will say is that Ant (by his own admission) got a bit carried away this week and so I hardly got a word in edgeways. Fortunately our guest did, so whilst there isn't as much of me as normal, there is plenty of interesting chat with another special member of the Marillion family.And (because I know you will worry) I did manage to get out of the hotel room on time, and in full collection of both my faculties and my possessions.Love'n'throwing shapeshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsiteAnne-Marie Website
27/11/2354m 55s

Chapter 185. Geriatric at the Genius Bar

It is fair to say that Ant took one look at me this week and took pity. I must have looked a little more world-weary than normal because, in an instant, he abandoned any hope of a meaningful conversation about Friends from the Orchestra (for that had been the intention). Instead he let me ramble a bit, and as is often the case, as we dropped the needle into an alternative groove we discovered a whole other melody to explore - the artist as an older man.So for #185 we talk about my voice, how I have become a creature of habit when I am on the road, and what it is like when I go on an adventure in search of a tech upgrade.We will of course get back to the album chat, but it will be a bit further down the road because we have a special guest joining us for #186. Smashing!Love'n'flapping cockerelshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
20/11/231h 1m

Chapter 184. Surrounded by Ninjas

It's very easy to forget how special the people are that float in and out of your orbit, especially the ones that you rub up against the most often. The reason I mention it, is because a couple of prime examples cropped up in conversation this week, and it reminded me to doff my cap in the direction of all the ninjas in my life.Other than that the chat is suitably free-flowing this week. We touch on protective outerwear (of various colours) my life-long dislike of a footwear staple and what I do and don't think of as appropriate, as far as graffiti is concerned.We also talk about a downright odd set of circumstances that took place at a recent h-natural show in Spain...Love'n'sudocremhTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
13/11/231h 4m

Chapter 183. Handle with Care

So before you point it out, I am aware that we have talked about the RAH gig a number of times on TCD (sorry, Lucy).However I think we can all agree that the footage captured on the night was pretty bloody special. So when you have the man behind the plan, on the pod, the very least you can do is ask him about it.Which is what we did.Meanwhile, after more trails than Yosemite, the diary does finally arrive in Canada - it’s just that the journey rather unexpectedly begins in South America.Big thanks to Tim for taking the time to share his wit and wisdom.Love’n’taking the scenic routehTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
06/11/2357m 33s

Chapter 182. Lovely and brilliant in equal measure.

We have been alluding to the fact that we would be talking to Tim at some point soon for quite a while now, months in fact, and this week we actually do. The Tim in question is of course Tim Sidwell.For those of you who don't know Tim (or what he actually does) then prepare to be informed, amazed and charmed. For those of you who do, look forward to an hour in his company, for as you know already, he really is a top man.And then of course we have the diary reading, which I don't actually think ends up taking us to any of the places we thought it might. Not that it matters... such is the attention to detail you will have come to expect here at TCD Towers.Anyway I have a plane to catch with young Vibes. Viva Espana and all that.hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
30/10/231h

Chapter 181. Spitting Rivets

This weeks TCD (sorry, Lucy) feels like a bit of a run-on episode. What I mean by that is just before we recorded it, Ant &I had been creating a bit of extra content for our lovely bunch of purple patrons.Such, was the flow that we had got ourselves into (and because we hadn’t got through all of the allotted questions) we decided to power on through and finish them off.So a big thanks to David Beckwith, Mark Griffin and Drew Crissman for posing the questions and I hope you enjoy the peek into the world of patron bonus content.Love’n’practical motoringhThe Coming Storm Podcast British Scandal - Boris Johnson British Scandal - Liz TrussTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
23/10/2352m 21s

Chapter 180. I have peculiarly small ear-holes.

As is his want, Ant normally takes the weeks (as yet) unreleased edit out for a walk on a Friday morning. We call it the QC listen, and in most cases it's less about minor tweaks for flow and more about removing great chunks of offensive stuff I probably should have thought about before uttering.Anyway whilst listening to 180, Ant had a bit of a moment, an epiphany if you like. TCD (sorry, Lucy) has been inadvertently channeling mystery thrillers.Confused? Well it turns out that on a regular basis we mention the snippet of a story, often in a bit of Patreon bonus content, and then many weeks down the line we return with more detail to join-up-the-dots like Miss Marple, with a foul mouth (but excellent roots..,)Take this week for example. You now have a lot more detail about band management, publishing deals and my contravention of local village bylaws, and yet we have definitely rabbited on about all of these in the past. Think of it as early-onset dementia cunningly disguised as slow-burn storytelling.Love'n'celeryhps Oh, and if I sound a bit metallic on the second half, that's down to me forgetting to put my machine in record and having to use the Zoom audio. Doh!TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
16/10/231h

Chapter 179. Shall I start with one I know?

Actually it’s the tale of two gigs, one of which is in a posh furniture shop.In fact you could say it’s the tale of two gigs, one in a posh furniture shop and the other in a marquee with long tables...or more exactly, I should say it’s the tale of two gigs, one in a posh furniture shop and the other in a marquee with long tables, and what I can recall about my first show with the Low Fat Yoghurts.But then, If we are being really accurate it’s the tale of two gigs, one in a furniture shop and the other in a tent. AND what I can recall about my first show with the Low Fat Yoghurts, AND the rise of the Steve H doppelgängers... (That's blue ticks not blue tits.. Or tweets as opposed to er.. tweets)Love, balsa-wood and birthday candleshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
09/10/231h 4m

Chapter 178. Fate

Nothing's ever simple - that's for sureThere are grieving mothers on both sides of the wireAnd everyone deserves a chance to feel the future just might be brightBut any way you look at it - whichever point of viewFor us to have to live like thisIt just ain't rightFrom one Mr.h to another, thank you xThe 10 Minute Leadership Podcast - Lucy JordacheThe 10 Minute Leadership Podcast - Steve HogarthTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
02/10/2355m 55s

Chapter 177. Desert Island Discs Ep.2

Well its all been a little strange in the podcasting world this week.Ant & I met up on Zoom on Monday, a little later than usual because I had (unexpectedly) been out the night before and was feeling a little jaded. Aside from that it was pretty normal, we knew what we were doing in terms of content so it all came together with the minimum of fuss. I think we were only on the call for about an hour.The edit came together quickly, and I was able to ping the finished episode back over to Ant for the QC (quality control, not Queen's Council) check on Tuesday afternoon.Ant gave it a listen whilst he was out for his early-evening constitutional on Wednesday and gave it the thumbs-up, which meant all that was left to do was write these notes.And as you can see, that has now been done as well.It's only taken three and a half years, but we might be getting the hang of it...Love'n'minor miracleshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
25/09/2355m 47s

Chapter 176. Desert Island Discs Ep.1

We start this week with a well-deserved nod in the direction of Jonathan Worthington.For those of you who may not be aware, as a Purple Patron of TCD who are able to post comments about each episode (and to message me, Ant and other purples direct), that's exactly what he did.And let me tell you it was inspired! He wrote…Following on from the mention of Ed O’Brien being on Desert Island Discs I wonder if H has even been approached to be on the show?Again, for those of you who may be in the dark, Desert Island Discs is a popular radio show on the BBC. It involves the host inviting a well-known guest to choose eight (and only eight) pieces of music they would magically take with them if they were washed up on a deserted island.Given that the show has been running for over 80 years and I haven’t been approached as yet, I reckon the ship has quite literally sailed for me on this one. So to acquiesce to Jonathan's request we are (this week and next) going to produce our own version of DID spread across two episodes, with Ant doing his best Kirsty Young/Lauren Laverne impression. He's got the legs, trust me.Unfortunately we couldn’t include the actual chosen choons in the pod (copyright AI "bots" take the whole thing down) but you can find the Spotify links at the bottom. Other streaming platforms are available and you could always buy the tracks (I suspect you have excellent taste so you've probably got em already)Love’n’staring out to the horizon. h xSong Choice #1Song Choice #2Song Choice #3Song Choice #4Desert Island Discs Wikipedia
18/09/231h 3m

Chapter 175. In a leather apron, sweating over a barrel.

The chat this week was more than a little bit wide of err ANY mark.I can of course offer up reasons why this came to pass. To start with Ant had just got back from a couple of days dashing around London and was train-lagged. I (on the other hand) was slowly poaching in my top floor music room, lime-poor but fortified by tequila, red bull and a large slice of orange, which had rendered me unable to be serious.Excuses aside what it amounts to is a lot of giggling, some interjecting, quite a dollop of talking-over and some flagrant repetition. As far as this week is concerned discipline is just a word that begins with 'd'.Anyway I have regulated myself since Wednesday and can confirm that (after a quick google search) it may have been the frost that had an effect on my plums, especially considering the abundance of blossom earlier in the year. I am not sure about my cherries as yet.Love by the sleepy lagoon, and love always at home.hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
11/09/231h 3m

Chapter 174. Crowdfund me a leather holster

Three things to think about as you listen to todays episode...Ant wasn't actually thinking about When Harry Met Sally, he was thinking about an excellent episode of Frasier called Coffee with Niles in which his brother asks him the simple question 'are you happy?'It takes around 4 and a 1/2 hours to drive from Tampa to Miami Beach if you take the I-75S. Would you believe its 282 miles.For those purples wondering why the Odds n'Crooncast was not in fact 47 minutes long (but clocked in at a paltry 44:11) it was because one particular tale was removed on the grounds of sensibility. As such it will go with me to the grave, or until somebody gets me squiffy on malibu & tizer and asks me what it was. Mind you, it's quite likely I'll trot it out in the next episode, blissfully ignorant of having ever said it before. Cabbage etc.Oh and if you don't know what a Secateur Holster is then, get your browser pointed at this fetching little number. No reason you can't prune in style.Love'n'hyggeChauncey GardnerTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
04/09/231h

Chapter 173. A space-alien on toast

Well this is a bit of a curve-ball, a Fear Ball, or that rare thing, an Amsterdam snowball.Because this week we end up chatting about F.E.A.R in the context of its importance as both a musical statement and also as a backdrop to the first Royal Albert Hall gig. I'm not quite sure how we got here but I have to admit it's certainly an interesting idea to explore, even though I keep repeating myself. (Nothing new there.) Ant thinks FEAR's important and I'm glad he does.The diary is a bit of a whistle-stop gad around France, Germany and the Netherlands involving a quest for just the right kind of eyewear, electric toothbrushes and trying to finish The Bonfire of the Vanities - such is my life.And apparently you have to get the balance of the ingredients right (crucially the sugar), have a steady hand, and employ the back of a warm spoon. (Not for a space-alien on toast obvs, a cold spoon will do for that)Love'n'furry dicehTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
28/08/231h 4m

Chapter 172. A flashback, literally

Admittedly we took the long way around, but with #172 we finally reach the end of our leisurely stroll around the FEAR album. I can’t actually remember how long ago it was that we started - seems like months if I am honest, but in podcasting circles Ant is known for his tenacity and I for my laser-like focus, obvs.So this week we are going to get into album-closer, White Paper and a lyric that was inspired by an event that actually couldn’t have been more literal. In other news, like Mary Poppins, Klaus arrives before we know we need him and makes his presence felt on the roof. He said he wasn’t a burglar, so that’s alright. There is an important social media update too!Love’n’long laddershTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
21/08/231h 4m

Chapter 171. More is Less

In the spirit of continuous personal development, and in recognition that every day is indeed a school day, I am in a position to reliably inform you that as far as TCD (sorry Lucy) is concerned 09:30 just doesn't work.Confused, let me explain.For reasons too numerous and mundane to mention, the recording slot for #171 had to be moved up to earlier in the morning. Not by much, just 30 minutes but lord, did it seem to make a difference. I was dropping stuff in left, right and centre that wasn't really suitable for broadcast, so in the end we had to start again and mark the first 25 minutes as private - approved ears only.Ant has managed to rescue some of it, so as a little patreon bonus he has included some of it after the credits.Love'n'slander-not-libelhP.S The wonderful Adam of Old Trafford is of course Adam Bostock. Sorry my friend, I am indeed a cabbageTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
14/08/2349m 33s

Chapter 170. In the pursuit of excellence

Wow, that was a bit of an adventure.If life is indeed a journey, and not a destination, then the route to this weeks episode has been like off-roading in an Austin Allegro with a duff clutch pedal. It is fair to say we have faced a few challenges this week, but in amongst it all we have also learnt three valuable lessons.As far as TCD (sorry Lucy) is concerned if the wi-fi connection ain't rock solid then we fade faster than the promises of a Brexiteer...Strange things happen in Phil Brown's hotel suite when he isn't looking.If you find yourself in a Swedish Burger King, try the Nuggets.Oh, and in amongst it all we actually had a semi-serious chat about The Leavers.See you on the road,hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
07/08/231h 6m

Chapter 169. Knee deep in Swedes

We are caught between a meatball and a clotted cream scone this week, with Ant squirrelled away in a corner of Devon and me in Sweden for a couple of weeks.It seems like an age since we last recorded one of these, so we eased ourselves back into the podcasting swing by catching up with my recent off-mic activities and reflecting on my recent natural show in Liverpool.And as a special treat the legend that is Lucy Jordache is on hand to tidy up some of the debris from Chapter 168 and generally sprinkle a light dusting of competence & clarity that The Corona Diaries (see what I did there) aspires to, but tends to lack - especially on the right-hand-side of stereo ...where I tend to reside.Keep on rocking and er.. Rickrolling..TooldeoohTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
31/07/2351m 55s

Chapter 168. Much ado about nothing

Break out the Berol felt tips for #168 and be careful not to go over the lines.If you cast your mind back to last weeks episode you may recall we got so deeply engrossed in chat about Living in Fear and the upcoming 'au natural by the seaside' shows that we didn't really talk about the diary. In hindsight this seemed a shame because it was a jolly interesting excerpt about a jaunt to Mexico.So this week we are going back to add a little colour about said trip (see what I did there) including the eventful journey over, and the days that followed. Oh, and there's a hill, and there's Macclesfield, and there's time-lag, and, there's Mike Oldfield's big recorder and there's me.. in a vest.. channelling Bruce Willis.Love'n buckets of ado...hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
24/07/2352m 33s

Chapter 167. Tom is striding out in his leather pants for a loaf

In our distinctive haphazard style we finally got back onto a bit of FEAR chat for #167. After quite a deep dive into The New Kings & El Dorado a few episodes back, today was dedicated to Living in Fear. As you will hear I am still not quite sure if the lyric is fanciful, protest full or just a bit naive, but what I will say is there is a lot to unpack.And, if you are purple, and you live in close proximity to the coastal resorts of the UK you might want to get ready - your moment may well be nigh.Right I’m off to see if I can acquire an inverter and a deckchair from Mick & Keef in the village shop.Tiddely-om-pom-pom,hP.S Apols for the fact it is a little late this week, Ant rushed off on holiday before pressing the schedule button. What is the collective for a pair of cabbages?TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
17/07/2359m 41s

Chapter 166. Seamus is lighting the way

Now, there are two reasons why Seamus is all over #166.The first one you will find out pretty much as soon as you start listening, and tbh it’s a thing of beauty. No need to know the backstory, it is what it is and as you will hear, it moved me to oblige.Secondly he was one of the first (possibly the first) to vote for The Corona Diaries in the British Podcast Awards. And in this he is not alone.So thanks to all of you that have taken the trouble to vote, and if you haven’t as yet (but you are thinking about it) then remember It is as easy as 1-2-3Click the linkSearch for The Corona DiariesRegister your vote. BoomRight I am off to Italy to have dinner with, Perry and his comb-over.Love’n’lip sync-ing the WRONG SONG (!!!) with NO monitors.hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
10/07/2354m 24s

Chapter 165. Simon is a ninja with the cut-throat razor.

Let's break with tradition and explain ourselves.The dust has settled a little since we recorded #165 and as such I can provide you with a little bit of supplementary information.It turns out the Tempodrom was originally a venue housed in a large circus tent, and so when the current permanent venue was constructed in 2001 it was designed to echo that fact. On the Wikipedia page for the venue it has a section covering ‘notable performers’ and (blow me down with a feather!) Marillion are included! I really must write to them and complain. At this rate we'll end up famous...It turns out that Nik Kershaw also contributed to one of the tracks I sang on for John Mitchell. The song in question is Humans Being and it is on the Lonely Robot album . Ant gave it a listen and was quite gushing. Who would have thought it?As far as the British Podcast Awards goes, the closing date for the Listeners Choice award is the 5th September. They appear to have updated the website since we looked on Tuesday. You can vote here if you like. For God's sake DO!! :o]hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
03/07/2357m 55s

Chapter 163. Tuesday afternoon I am going to excel.

Seventeen points of seperation takes us from the beginning to the end this week.IvyNail-BrushLeft-HandedRight HandedNovemberHMRCChristmas Market Jon McClanePlaces that aren't TringLiver'n'OnionsSqueezeSteve GaddAerosmithSprinting spidersNial's 21stNasal-hair treatmentTony BennBoom.hJanie's got a Gun - AerosmithHearts & Bones - Paul SimonTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
19/06/2359m 25s

Chapter 164. Will you be partaking of the Mirrorball this evening Sir?

Left foot down, a healthy screech of brakes and before you know it we have done a complete one eighty in terms of the episode plan.Every once in a while we do a double-diary format, as cool as double-denim and a nice break from the norm. Often it’s because of a really lengthy entry. Typically I read a couple of pages a week, but on the odd occasion the text is four or five pages long and then we tend to split it.This week however it's to allow the narrative arc of a few glorious days in Mexico to be enjoyed in its entirety.Going with the flow is a wonderful thing and should be embraced. Umbrellas, stepladders, coffins and all.hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
19/06/231h

Chapter 162. Let’s hear it for Gordon….

There’s more than an end of term whiff to the this weeks instalment, and if you give me a moment I will explain.Firstly we begin by tidying up all the outstanding bits from #162, namely the curious incident around the diary reading, the unasked questions that were answered, and then the unasked questions that weren’t.And secondly, after a number of false starts, we actually manage to get a bit of chat going about F.E.A.R. Of course proper dialogue about that particular album means I tend to get a little ranty - but I think it will only be obvious to those of you who know me. (Ha ha ha...)What I really mean is..Get angry and demand more, because we all deserve better.hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
12/06/231h 7m

Chapter 161. Living' on a Prayer

It’s been a fairly chunky edit this week because, as you will undoubtedly hear, we had a few challenges.If you weren’t aware we actually record TCD (sorry Lucy) over Zoom, just to allow me to see Ant & Ant to see me. The audio quality on Zoom is a little sketchy, so instead of using that we simultaneously record our conversation at either side of the screen.That means we have some technical jiggery-pokery every week as we attempt to piece it all together.Most weeks this is OK, but post the rigours of Les-tah and the flakiness of Ants internet provider meant #161 was more than normally troublesome.Love’n’jov-ialhTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
05/06/231h 5m

Chapter 160. Chip, Dale or possibly Alvin

Some crucial things ticked off the TCD checklist in this weeks episode;a) lengthy preamble that inadvertently details some aspect of my personal circumstances or health - tickb) not-so-subtle use of an audio sound effect, often crudely inserted - tickc) excessive 70s references and/or nod towards a national treasure - tick, tickd) never seemingly planned but nevertheless strangely insightful Marillion reference - ticke) pornographic reference - tickf) a general feeling of bewilderment - tickYou're welcome… It was effortless.'Might see you in Les-tah then...h TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
29/05/2358m 0s

Chapter 159. I was presented with a bucket of small gnomes.

It's pretty much a single question episode this week."Did you have a nice birthday?!"Now as a concept you can spin that a couple of ways. Either, Ant followed his normal pattern of TCD prep and literally thought that would be enough to generate sixty minutes worth of something (and to be fair we do have previous...)Or, Ant made a calculation based on information previously gathered and assumed my capacity for rational chat, the day after both a birthday and the last night of a convention would be er.. patchy.The answer probably exists somewhere betwixt those possibilities, but then you knew that already because you are smart, sensitive, forgiving types and there's no wonder we love you madly.Basically I had much to recount, but I was too post-gig-spirit/body-traincrashed to express too many lucid memories. But I DID have a nice birthday. And in the morning.. a birthday is yet to come.Anyway I must dash, I have a plane to catch and I am not getting any younger. The whole truth..Toodleoo from Mr Taurus.h x
22/05/231h 1m

Chapter 158. " I'm a begatter, not a smiter..."

It’s a strangely hypnotic episode of TCD (sorry Lucy) this week and a complete antithesis to what was going down on #157.This is partly due to the slight otherworldliness that occurs when Ant & I attempt to Zoom over long distance, particularly when it involves Hotel wi-fi as it makes serious conversation a little trickier. Which means we tend to follow the path of least resistance and let the conversation wend as it wishes...So, after a jet-lagged mooch around old Montreal we begin by saying all is perfectly lovely whilst pondering the danger that Earl Grey presents in the workplace. We then have a foray into knitted characters, the old testament, a legendary attempt at joke-telling and the side effects of hormonal sleeping remedies, before settling on my plans for the week.Down at the sports-bar the ice hockey never ends...Love'n'Brazilians. In helicopters.h
15/05/2358m 14s

Chapter 157. I don't recall using the Dewey Decimal system.

An extra voice on the pod this week and one, that as you will find out, is normally banished to a darkened room to labour away on his near-never-ending task.A bit like TCD (sorry Lucy) it must have seemed like such a good idea at the time, I mean what could be better than getting to listening to, and then catalogue, all the bits of music that your favourite band has ever committed to tape...other than perhaps the sheer bloody scale of it.Anyway James kindly gave of his time to explain how his side-hustle came about, and what an important little cog he has become when it comes to both the 'remasters' and 'making-of' projects.No prizes for guessing how well I compete with catalogued hard facts. I wouldn't call me as a defence witness...Enjoy the coronation - I'm off to French Canada to swear allegiance to Quebec!hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
08/05/2355m 55s

Chapter 156. Comedy gold. Literally.

Yet again we have been dropping distinctly British, distinctly men-of-a-certain-age, cultural references into TCD.We do try and be more 'global', but the fact remains that you can take the boys out of Yorkshire (though I am not sure why you would want to...) but you can't take Yorkshire out of the boys.Which means you are going to get references to Only Fools & Horses, Allo-Allo and The Two Ronnies this week - so for those of you operating slightly in the dark feel free to click through to a bit more information about each.Actually whilst we are on that subject, it turns out I was mistaken about which vocal take for STCBM I was recording when, in the diary this week. So to channel yet more comedy gold from Morecambe and Wise 'I did record the right vocal takes, just not necessarily in the right order...h :o]Fork Handles - The Two RonniesTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
01/05/231h 7m

Chapter 155. Always travel with a leather mallet.

It actually started out quite well this week, not only were we both in the same time zone (and the same country), but the early rambling recollections of Cleckheaton and custard were both lucid and choc-full of supplementary detail.But in a true TCD stylee Jim Broadbent brought it all crashing down. He was the northern actor I was grasping for, the chap that in my head was on screen with the likes of Olivia Colman & Helen Mirren. And if you aren't aware of Jim's work (and let me tell you he is rather wonderful) then all you need to know is that he was Bridget Jones long-suffering father....Have you got him now, can you see his face and his mannerisms? Well he reminds me of a fella I used to work with in Cleckheaton.Love'n' sleepy Wednesday afternoons...hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
24/04/231h 3m

Chapter 154. Sjælland Denmark calling Anaheim California!

The chat this week is that heady mix of sleep deprived and gin-fuelled. And not only was I part of the original conversation, but I have also listened back to it and I am afraid I still can’t offer any explanation for what you are about to listen to.Even the 'seven degrees of separation' theory is of no use in understanding how we get from Pigs down the Pit, to Tim Curry via the sunscreen habits of Californian Ducks.The diary is a bit of a sprawling East Coast romp as well, that takes me to the White House before ‘tearing the arse out of New York’ after visits to multiple medical professionals for a vasovagal episode and a steroid shot in the bum.And that is before we get onto Marillion tribute acts, and how I feel when I run into a me-that's-not-me.See you in Haarlem :o]hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
17/04/231h 4m

Chapter 153. How the hell do you crotchet a brothel-creeper?

Strange episode this week. Actually to be 100% accurate more of a strange recording process.In the wider context of TCD as a body of work it’s probably bang average, but the journey to get there was more than a little disrupted as you will hear.And to add to the slightly surreal, there is also the prospect of Showaddywaddy's rhubarb and the Hollies Christmas cards to contend with, not to mention being robbed on both sides of the world at once! For those of you further afield "the waddies" might be a cultural reference too far - so I have included some backstory here and a link to their biggest hit here. I have been singing it all week. Buddum-buddum...Oh and they are still touring! See you in Great Yarmouth on the 16th...Love’n’the-soft-dhTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
10/04/2353m 22s

Chapter 152. The complete SAGA

To help you navigate this weeks episode some of you may well need a little help.You see when you get a couple of blokes from loosely the same time, and roughly the same neighbourhood, and they get into a groove then they are going to drop in a few cultural references that are, for want of a better phrase, a little oblique.So you might want to have the following nuggets of information to hand;Basil Brush A children's TV character predominantly from the 60's & 70's. Basil was a Red Fox with a voice based around the actor Terry Thomas.More about BasilThe Three Bees of Napoleon Not necessarily as described in the episode, but then again what is. Certainly a link between the three bees and the the infamous Emperor himself.More about the three beesRod Hull & Emu Another puppet character (and puppeteer in this case) that transitioned from kids TV to light entertainment and chat shows. Generally remembered for leaving chaos in their wake, how apt.More about Rod Hull & EmuShure SM7B The recording microphone of choice for the Corona Diaries, and countless other podcasters, singers and content creators. No money changes hands between Shure and ourselves.More about the SM7BKeep it purple, keep it real, keep it on a clothes hanger.h
03/04/231h 2m

Chapter 151. If ever a man deserved tail feathers.

151 is an episode in several parts.It's partly post-PZ housekeeping, as we discuss what the hours and days look like for me after an event like that.But then it's partly a moment to enjoy the warm glow, and pick out a few highlights from what was an incredible weekend.And then there is the expected update to 150 as Ant completes the fashion circle and we discuss that 'coat' and those 'trousers'.Plus it would be remiss not to spend a few minutes on the new pre-order that has been announced this week.And you can't forget the door bell...Phew!hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
27/03/2358m 6s

Chapter 150. Like a Carp, only not so coy

Well we have only gone and bloody made it to one hundred and fifty.No one can be quite as surprised as us about this particular milestone because when we started this journey there wasn't a destination programmed in, and certainly not one so far on the horizon.The fact is that The Corona Diaries wasn't really much more than a concept, an idea that hadn't really developed into a firm plan. We had the notion to include the diary of course, but to be honest that was about it.So for the past 150 weeks TCD has just kind of found its own level, following the path of least resistance, being what it was always going to be. Sometimes it can be funny, occasionally it can be serious, often it is silly and every once in a while totally incomprehensible.But because it has plotted its own path, it will always be honest.Thank you for being part of the journey, and thank you for playing your part. You have influenced the outcome as much as we have, of course you have. Because when push comes to shove you are all bloody purple.To wherever it takes us next...h & Anth & AntTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
20/03/231h 2m

Chapter 149. A Sea of Smiles

The episode title is absolutely nothing to do with either Ant or myself, but it was a phrase that our guest used and do you know what, it perfectly fits the bill.Wait a minute, a guest...whats that all about when we are so close to episode 150?Well, this particular week of the year in reality is the only week to cajole this particular person to pop her podcast cherry, because at this time of the season she really is the place to go if you want answers. Actually it is not as confusing as it sounds, but it did mean that 149 was the one for the "queen of who-goes-where" to take her place centre stage. Plus, by the time some of you hear this she won't actually be here, she will be there.Love'n'trestle tableshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
13/03/2354m 20s

Chapter 148. It's all kicking off in the Village Hall

You may recall that we had the legendary Lucy Jordache on the podcast a while back, and she pointed out that TCD (case in point) has a tendency to be a little bit niche and at times a little bit clique-y.Now we have tried to take her advice onboard, but I suspect Chapter 148 is definitely one for the hardened purple. "How so?" I hear you ask. Well let me give you a few examples..There is quite a bit of early-episode bants that revolves around the ongoing chat amongst the purple supporters.We refer extensively to a purple-only-prawn-cracker snap poll that took place last week.There is news of stealth-purple-only-merch available at PZ.Elitist and clique-y possibly, but fear not non-purples, there is still plenty to keep you amused, including three diary entries, a new 'soldering-iron advice and support lesson with Stephen' and information on how to apply to work in a large fish tank.Love'n'roulette wheels in the headhTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
06/03/231h 2m

Chapter 147. The Muttley Wheeze

Let’s start with a shout-out to all those Purples who have offered up Limericks & Rhymes following the ‘capillary’ episode last week.The standard, overall, was most impressive, definitely a notch up from anything that could be described as 'enthusiastic' or (even worse) 'proficient'.However the recognition by name must go to Kester Roper, who provided a belter of a limerick that I, being a bit of a pedant, modified (slightly).Our joint effort therefore runs thus; There was a young lady called Hilary Who toured a Jamaican distillery She stuck her bare bum In a vat of dark rum And now has a burning capillaryHats off to you Kester. I think we can all agree on this being a truly epic outcome, and public service podcasting at it's finest.Love'n'scansionhSquaring The Circle Grr...TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
27/02/231h 4m

Chapter 146. Russell meet Hilary, Hilary meet Russell.

Well that was a rum do.We had quite the epic trying to record Chapter 146. If it wasn't the microphone with the mind of it's own, it was the Zoom connection, and if it wasn't the Zoom connection it was the sound of mi goretex (and yes I know I've taken liberties with the spelling of rustle in the title...)And the fact I was struggling a little with the ol' synapses was just the cadburys flake on this particular 99. The one thing I will say in my defence is, well, I was in Denmark in a cold room and that by the time we actually got to the word I was struggling with, my understanding (as you will hear) was pretty much spot-on.********* action (is the process of a liquid flowing in a narrow space without the assistance of, or even in opposition to, any external forces like gravity. The effect can be seen in the drawing up of liquids in a thin tube. (source: Wikipedia)Love'n'chemistry-lab-flashbacksFleagle, Bingo, Drooper, Snork, Ant & hP.S If you're a patron there is a few minutes of extra content after the outro music.TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
20/02/2359m 18s

Chapter 145. Sedentary is just another word for slumped.

The scene takes place in the kitchen of a traditional country cottage. A door at the front of the room opens into an entrance porch, and the back door opens to a garden with more than adequate quantities of lavender. There is a table and chairs, a Cappuccino maker and the the front window overlooks a village green. There is evidence of cricket, but no match is currently taking place.(sound of a front door bell being rung)h: Who the bloody hell is that?(incidental music wafts across the scene)Ant: Morning hh: Ah Anthony, how are we?Ant: I'm really well, how are you?h: Come on in...Ant: I will do thank you.(the incidental music gets a little more present, but quickly backs off again)h: Did that sound staged?Ant: Just a little, but it'll be fine.h: It'll be fine, yes.A short pauseAnt: I'm going to embrace the whole lounge pant thing next time, I'm going to put my University of New Hampshire lounge pants on.h: You should indeedThe dialogue fades away to a pre-recorded VoiceOver and the scene is set for another chapter of TCD (sorry Lucy)Love'n'mysteries solvedhTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
13/02/231h 1m

Chapter 144. Lucy and her brainchildren

There are a couple of moments in this weeks chapter when I tried my hand at improv.Whilst answering a question about Pour My Love I decided (in the moment no less) to illustrate my point by playing a bit of the keyboard part. Not a bad idea you would have thought, especially as I had the piano on front of me - and do you know what, I absolutely nailed it. Boom.No more than five minutes later, another executive-on-the-fly-decision was made as we agreed not to bother with a diary reading. Ant suggested we should still have a little musical interlude and emboldened with my earlier success I decided to play that interlude live - which I did with a wink to the camera and a flourish at the end.Quality podcasting. Or at least it would have been if I’d been recording the output of the Keyboard. So where there should have been inspired brilliance, there was silence. Which means you will have to make do with the pre-records.Honestly, you should have been there…Love’n’fixing it in the mixhArecibo MessageTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
06/02/231h 18m

Chapter 143. What rhymes with Cowell.

A chance exchange in this weeks TCD (sorry Lucy) resulted not only in an episode title, but also a little digital stroll where I chanced upon a whole new internet experience.The website in question is called RhymeZone and it is quite simply inspired. You merely tap in your chosen word, in this case Cowell, and before you can say "high waistline" you get the following response;Words that rhyme with cowell: (13 results)2 syllables:bowell, dowell, gowell, mowell, prowell, showell, sowell, stowell, towell, trowell, vowell, yowell 4 syllables:baden-powell Man that's cool - even though you'd only use most of those words in Scrabble, and it forgot owl (and most notably, FOUL)But that's not all. It even provides 'close but no Oscar' options called Near Rhymes and grades them according to how close they are. So for example 'shotwell' achieves a 92 near-rhyme-rating, but 'bombshell' only gets a meagre 84. If you're not impressed, imagine what A.I. algorithms are gonna do to your LIFE...Hmm... now what rhymes with Heidi Klum?..hRhyme Zone WebsiteTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
30/01/231h 13m

Chapter 142. #freethebee

There's a point in this weeks episode where we find ourselves trying (and subsequently failing) to recollect the name of a particular procedure of chemical analysis. It will be blatantly obvious when you reach that point in proceedings, and as it would also be hard to class it as a spoiler, I will tell you it's that one with a splodge on a bit of blotting paper. Now the point I am trying to make is that it's not about the blotting paper (though you do know the one I mean don't you, in fact you are visualising it right now - I can tell by the expression on your face) but how we get to the blotting paper...Because we should have been talking about Sounds That Can't Be Made. So please forgive me but, as you will hear, I just can't help it.Now... can anyone tell me what I did with that seven and a half million dollars?Love, longitude n' treasure-maps, mi shivering purples,h xTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
23/01/2354m 27s

Chapter 141. Sounds that nearly weren't made

For the purposes of reference this week (you may need to read back after you have listened).Staithes - Staithes is a seaside village in the borough of Scarborough in North Yorkshire, England. The name Staithes derives from Old English and means 'landing-place'. Staithes has numerous narrow streets and passageways; one of these, Dog Loup, with a width of just 18 inches (45.7 cm), is claimed to be the narrowest alley in the world.Old Jacks Boat - The CBeebies series Old Jack's Boat, starring Bernard Cribbins, is set in and filmed in Staithes, with Old Jack's house located at 4 Cowbar Bank in the town. The first two series each had two stories written by Russell T Davies, with whom Bernard Cribbins had previously worked on Doctor Who.Bernard Cribbins - Bernard Joseph Cribbins OBE was an English actor and singer whose career spanned over seven decades. His on-screen roles Albert Perks in The Railway Children, pretentious hotel guest Mr Hutchinson in the Fawlty Towers episode "The Hotel Inspectors", Alfred Mott in Doctor Who and as the narrator of The Wombles. He wasn't however in The Plank or A Hard Day's Night, which proves we haven't got a clue what we are banging on about. Well, bugger me!Love'n'wikipediah TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
16/01/231h 2m

Chapter 140. It's a long way to the start, when you begin in the middle.

I am not lying when I tell you that I learnt three things this week, whilst recording Chapter 140. And it wasn't just me, Ant picked up a couple of new nuggets of information as well.On the surface this would seem a good thing, however the danger of all this enlightenment is that when you have a limited amount of spare capacity (cranially speaking) you run the risk of discarding something important to make room for the new stuff.What that means in real terms, is that if you bump into me in Waitrose be sure to ask me about mystery flavours of old sweets in the seventies, the dictionary definition of Droll, Time Lord Appreciators, how best to soften a Spangle in a Parka - but don't ask me how old my children are or what I came to Waitrose for.HNY. Sun sun sun here it comes...Love'n'knob picshOh Parker, well done!TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
09/01/231h 3m

Chapter 139. That space between a Camel's humps.

If memory serves, we haven't ever recorded an episode of The Corona Diaries between Christmas & New Year. Obviously I haven't gone to the trouble of actually checking that fact, I am relying purely on gut instinct and the lingering after-taste of industrial-strength descaler.Of course the beauty of this period of the year is that it's a bit like the twilight-zone, with nobody really quite sure why everything feels just a little bit off-kilter. You know the kind of thing I am talking about, when a Wednesday feels like a Sunday and nobody bats an eyelid if you want three shortbread petticoat tails and a glass of sherry for your breakfast. So if ever there was a podcast, perfectly suited to this point in the calender it would be TCD, proud to live all year-round wedged between the humps of a camel.I just can't believe it's taken this long to work it out.Keep it TCD in 23!hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
01/01/231h

Chapter 138. If you steer clear of the vicar, I'll jingle me testicles for you.

For this years Christmas special episode we decided to unburden ourselves from the shackles of pre-episode preparation and exacting production standards and show our rarely-seen playful side.And what better way to get the party started, than by welcoming Linette to TCD - even if that did mean distracting her with a glass of Kylie's Prosecco, whilst simultaneously placing a microphone into her other hand.And you know what?! She is a natural. From air fryers to elderflowers, Welsh footballers to high court judges, it's a freewheeling festive romp through the carefree joys of living with yours truly.What a girl!..Love'n'perfectly-prepared-sproutshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
25/12/221h 10m

Chapter 137. Take me down to the Jam City

*excerpt from production notes, TCD chapter 1371: Preamble - use a bit of the Zoom audio from Tuesday, the audio quality isn't great but it sets the scene and if it turns out the episode is late for the purples it will add credibility to the excuse.2: Intro - try and 'Christmas' it up a bit, after all it's half way through December3: Main Section - we might be struggling for time a bit this week, so maybe see if we can riff on the patreon feedback for a bit. Speedway is always great filler if we are struggling for inspiration, the purples love a bit of speedway. If all else fails chuck in an erection joke.4: Diary - what with Gordon, Nicolas and Angela it all gets a bit Ben Elton this week...'little bit of politics, little bit of politics'. 5: Wrap - push the livestream a bit, and remember it's Saturday. Oh and see if we can do a bit of product placement for Paddington, somewhere close to the venue would work well. Might want to tee up the Christmas episode...6: Crooncast - recommend watching "Harold and Maude" this Christmas7: (don't forget to pop those links in the show notes)8: Finish with a limerick There once was an addled old brewer, Whose brain cells were fewer and fewer, 'quit drinking the day, He woke up in the hay, In a puddle of pee and manure. Hamblin Bread Book to watch the Oxford LivestreamTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
19/12/221h 2m

Chapter 136. I'll see if I can detune my organ.

Listening back to Chapter 136 of TCD (sorry Lucy) it struck me that maybe a few explainers were in order. Now that isn't because I think that any of you are anything other than fully-rounded citizens of the world, broad of knowledge and generous of spirit. Rather that there are a few references this week that may only resonate with a person of a certain time, from a certain place.So here we go...Ski Sunday - a popular Sunday night UK TV program from the late seventies. Quite why we all became a little fixated with skiing has been lost to the mists of time, but I can't be the only one who smiles when he hears the name Franz Klammer.World of Sport - a magazine style Sports program broadcast on ITV on a Saturday afternoon. Famous for its exposure of lesser known sports such as wrestling, stock car racing and water skiing, and the fact there appeared to be a typing-pool in the background.Dickie Davies - the near ever-present host of World of Sport, who became a household name due to his laconic style and a streak of silver in his neatly coiffured mane. Enigmatic just doesn't cover it as you can see.And there we have it, public service podcasting at its very, very best.Boom.hOh and it turns out the AC/DC thing is a bit of a TikTok trend...Take OneTake TwoTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
12/12/2257m 58s

Chapter 135. Four Million Chord Changes to Warsaw

Well we tried...Ant had a look under his bed, but couldn't find any mention of Less Is More in the back copies of The Web magazine he's been hoarding. And as promised I gave the album a listen through...but alas, it didn't provide the aural kick to my synapses that I had hoped.Of course we are nothing if not a pair of old pro's, and so when the red light went on we gave it our best shot anyway (even if there was some unabashed padding at the beginning). Hopefully you will still find one or two nuggets of as-yet-unheard insights as you work your way through.Sofia is the destination of my diary travels this week, and it turned out to be quite an experience. In fact I could have called the episode Cow Bells & Corpses, or even Getting Stiffed Twice in Sofia but they both seemed a little too 'on the nose'.Happy Advent,hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
05/12/221h

Chapter 134. Ear tunnels, tattoos and very quizzical looks.

After all the excitement of bus drivers and percussionists, long haired sound men and keyboardists this feels like a very run of the mill chapter of TCD (sorry Lucy).So for 134 Ant and I pick up on our semi-regular album chat feature, and for those of you who have been paying attention that means Less is More. Of course in our case it's a little bit more Less is Less as there is, at this point, a need for some serious listening and memory-jogging. We will return to it next week having done our revision.The diary takes me to Sweden, as we once again attempt to fit into one of those pre-defined boxes that just don't work for a band like us. Still it gave me an excellent idea for a crooncast, which I can dedicate to the legendary Phil Brown.As Lars Flintstone once said to his friend Arne Rubble..."Abbadabbadooo!"hBlack Sweden - Smoke on the Water
28/11/221h 5m

Chapter 133. With a kick like Seb Coe, coming around the final bend...

For those of us that lived through his achievements in real time, it's easy to close my eyes and be taken right back to the moment when Seb Coe lined up in the final of the 1500m at the Los Angeles Olympics in 1984.Middle-distance running took on almost rock'n'roll stature at the time in Britain, as Steve Ovett, Steve Cram & Seb Coe dominated both the centre piece events of 800 & 1500 breaking world records at every turn.We all got up in the middle of the night to watch that final, and be exhilarated by that truly epic last lap. But why am I reminiscing about that now, well TCD has just come around that final bend with Ant & myself doing a very good impression of Steve & Seb at their peak.Love'n'klaxons,hMens 1500m Final - 1985 LA Olympics TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
21/11/221h 2m

Chapter 132. I could see you in a chainmail c@ck-piece

One of the purples mentioned in the comments for a recent chapter (I think it was Paula Collewijn as it goes...) 'just curious, who is the creator behind these funny episode titles?'Well Paula it's a bit of a mixed-bag. Sometimes it's Ant, sometimes it's me, but more often than not they kind of come up in conversation - and when this happens it's because we follow a secret and special formula. Here's how it goes;The Episode Title Cocktail recipe4/6 measures of Tanquerey GinNot enough TonicA legendary Sound ManSome questionable (if historic) fashion choicesServe in a warm hotel room, wait about 30 minutes for it to enter the blood stream and work its magic, and then settle back and let the gold happen.Simple.hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
14/11/221h 10m

Chapter 131. Smoking a spliff round at Vlads place.

Recording The Corona Diaries on the road is a little challenging to say the least. You are always at the mercy of the local wi-fi connection, the rooms are often a bit lively (from an audio perspective, obvs...) and I am constantly a bit tight on time.There is however one definite up side, and that is the fact that a ton of interesting, funny and genuinely lovely people are also in close proximity.Which means for the third episode on the spin I have managed to cajole another one back to my room with the promise of a Walnut Whip. And before he had time to protest, a microphone was set-up in front of him, a sock was strategically arranged and the red light went on.Gold. hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
07/11/221h 5m

Chapter 130. Jamming toward, rather than jamming away.

It's only taken 130 episodes, but we have finally completed the set.Backstage at the Tivoli Vredenburg in Utrecht, resplendent against the magnolia painted breeze-block walls, Mark Kelly himself became the final member of Marillion to pop his TCD cherry.As you would expect he was top value, fizzing between his take on the current tour, the development of the tech that drives the show and how he went about the process of collecting his thoughts to write a book.Lots of chat, giggles, and a few senior moments proving that Special K is indeed a perfect fit when it comes to The Corona Diaries.Love'n'apols for the slight echo (but then again it is Halloween, and it gave it a spooky vibe)...Cheeriogarth xTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
31/10/221h 7m

Tightening it up when it's a little loose, and softening it when it's a little stiff.

What a joy it was to hardly say anything on this weeks Chapter of TCD...One of the highlights (if not THE highlight) of the new album, and the current tour has been having the legendary Mr Luis Jardim in the building. And to top it off he only went and agreed to come and share the love on the podcast. What a guy...I managed to cobble together some microphones, and Ant squirrelled himself away in the depths of a deserted cafe-bar and we both sat, and listened to the musings and stories of a man who has literally played with everybody, and on pretty much everything in our collective lifetimes.Please allow me to introduce Mr Luis Jardim, the fixer of broken tracks, the shaker of all shakers, and the man who makes everything better. And funnier.Obrigado meu amigohTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
24/10/221h

Chapter 128. It was very, difficult sand.

No time to chat this week because I am busy packing for the European Tour, so I am just going to leave the episode highlight in a succinct, bullet-point, stylee.Linette still has those amazing jugs, in fact I just reached up and grabbed 'em. Check out my instagram feed if you don't believe me.I do often think of myself as a victorian water-closet.Just because it has a key-hole, doesn't mean you shouldn't give it a tug.I do indeed have an alter-ego with a cape, I try to use my powers for good and I have a huge A on my torso.You will be pleased to learn that I have stopped abusing the thin blue line, and now doff my cap at them. Particularly the incorruptible ones that speak Portuguese and arrive by pushbike.See you in Eindhoven, I will be the one attending to my stubble.Obrigado e boa noite,hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
17/10/221h 12m

Chapter 127. Either the fourth or the fifth time of asking.

After what Liz has managed to achieve in her first week on the job, we felt the least we could do would be to finish the backstory to the Dry Land Album.So for your delectation and delight, and not least as a reward for your patience, we will cover the last tree tracks on the album proper as well as a little curveball that Ant casually tossed in my direction to check I was paying attention.And talking about paying attention I need to remember to contact Colin W. and see if he might be free to join us for a natter. Oh, and I also need to make sure we don't let Luis J. return home without coming on to tell us a few stories. It's no joke this podcast lark...Love'n'cysts...hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
10/10/221h 10m

Chapter 126. A stones throw from Tampers Wheel

On location in the Steel City.Perched on seven hills like Rome, and with a river running underneath, it is the home of football (according to Ant), the only place to get a Hot Roast Pork sandwich and the place that gave me the moment I realised, NOTHING could be better than being in a rock'n'roll band.Of course when you take your recording studio and plonk it in a crowded restaurant you do place yourself at the mercy of fate, and in this case it was a couple of old friends enjoying an early afternoon tea. I think we just about got away with it, and by the sounds of their conversation we didn't disrupt them from having a lovely time (despite Vera's back-trouble)Back to normal next week, or whatever passes for normal.Keep it purple. Deep purple.hTamper Coffee CompanyTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
03/10/221h 1m

Chapter 125. Cheeriogarth

The band-breakfast-names seem to be reaching a climax, and it’s all gone a little bit Strictly.“What?!” I hear you cry.Well, you know in the early rounds of Strictly, (or Bake Off for that matter) all the offerings are kind of OK. You know the kind if thing, a solid 5 but not much more.Well with the exception of Ian Muesli that’s where we were at with this. But by the time you have finished listening to 125 you will have realised that inspiration struck like lightning and we’re are now looking at straight 10s from Len. (...but you might well wonder where the Railway Museum went).A lemon meringue to anyone who can come up with one for Luis Jardim who's feeling very left-out on the bus.h (Currently channeling Byron, Brunel, and Bill Bailey)TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
26/09/2250m 38s

Chapter 124. Turns out Lord B had it wrong all along.

If you are a regular then you will have heard me mention Lord B. He was the press guy who used to make the special rabbit drawings in an attempt to get me to stop rambling in interviews.It dawned on me whilst we were recording 124 that, in fact, he had got it all wrong.Take the chapter you are about to listen to. The idea was to continue discussing the Dry Land album. We had covered the first four tracks last week, so in theory we should comfortably have got through the remaining six.Just over half an hour in and Ant is still trying to get some sort of explanation of how the lyrics to the song India have anything to do with living in Slough. Thirty one minutes of digression, distraction, repetition, name-dropping and unintentional obfuscation.In short, The GOLD. ...er I mean The Corona DiariesLove'n'Barcelona-the-slow,dark,hungry,cold-way... hps enjoy wherever Puffin' Billy takes you.TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
19/09/221h 9m

Chapter 123. Follow me into the Rainbow Room

With a gentle breeze, and fair seas we head off in the direction of more How We Live chat. This week its an in-depth look at the lyrical inspiration behind the first four tracks on the album, which conjures up lots of memories that may have otherwise have been forgotten. Cue, tales of Joe Cocker, flaming arrows, military grade smoke grenades and the first of many attempts to have a hit with Dry Land.And this is only the start of it, we have six more to get through next time.Love'n'November SantashP.S Ant wanted to say thanks again to Pep Canals for pointing out the Catalan faux-pasTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
12/09/221h 16m

Chapter 122. It sounded like he had a church organ in his trousers.

We nearly got underway on Wednesday, but in the end problems with mi plug-ins just kept coming in Waves and we had to reconvene on Thursday. At times there's no Logic, and you have to take a deep breath and re-group.Although we started a little late on Thursday it looked more promising, only to stall before we got out of second gear.But then, when all seemed lost, a miracle of sorts. The stars aligned, the wi-fi signal stabilised and somebody in Cafe Viena decided to clear the tables.This was possibly the closest we have been to ‘epic fail’ and we have to apologise because at times you can hear we were trying to push the tech uphill in a handcart.But it definitely has a vibe, though not quite as impressive as the selection I stumbled upon in the ladies loos in Middlesborough. Love’n’Blockheadsh
05/09/221h 2m

Chapter 121. But it’s race-week...

This week's chapter is a pretty good example of the straight line getting wiggly in both the TCD sense, and also my life in general. A river quickly becoming a delta.I'll try to explain: Dan S. has a little bit of time on his hands at the same point that he discovers the podcast.He finds his way to the guestbook page of my website, and leaves me a question.As a consequence, Ant finds the question and thinks it will provide the perfect foundation for an episode or two.And so, with a clear-cut brief, in no time at all we're recalling Mick MacNeil's Accordian, Raine Shine, Jim the Canadian busker, George Jackson Jr, Ant's old work-colleague, Andy Gillespie, (Mick and Andy both of Simple Minds fame), John Martin, Tears for Fears, The Portastudio and Jan, the manager at the Moles Club, Bath, letting me in for free.So you see my life is all about the pebble, and then the ripples.But sometimes the thud ...as a threesome of flesh slaps to a climax against my hotel wall. Yee ha!! :o/There was a mouse in the cat food y'know...h
29/08/221h

Chapter 120: More like dysfunctional brothers really.

It’s an episode ending with a zero this week, so the sharp ones amongst you could be forgiven for expecting some form of special guest. And as we aim to please, you will be pleased to know that you are right.Enter stage left Steve Rothery, and as it goes it’s a lovely natter and an insight into band life. He gives his take on the ultimate h set list, helps with some outstanding housekeeping issues and ruminates on how to survive in a band for as long as we have.Of course both the change in location for me, and the addition of a new space with Steve means there are a few unavoidable audio accompaniments. I hope you enjoy the chimes. Looks like Rothers has a weakness for 'em as well as me. (Unless it’s the sound of our minds thinking…)Love’n’trickleshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
22/08/2258m 8s

Chapter 119. The podcast, after the podcast, after the night before.

Now that is what I call a week.Literally just popped back from Denmark (where I am supposed to be on holiday) so I could join Trevor Horn on stage at the Cropredy Festival and sing a few songs. Ant came along for a giggle (and a Mr Whippy '99 courtesy of Ms Jordache) and a great time was had by all.The happy upside to this was that we were able to record an on-location special chapter of TCD in my back garden (as you will hear). So settle in for a not-quite-normal episode, with expansed auralness.Apologies for the lack of diary and crooncast this week (I had a plane to catch) and sorry this is a bit late. On the plus side, I am including an excellent awful Mexican busker I ran into in Guadalajara. Love, lavender and distortionForrest Gump
15/08/2258m 32s

Chapter 118: Ready, Set (list), Go

This week it’s all about purple-participation, so before you listen you need to read through the pre-show notices.The Object of the GameI have been challenged by Ant to make-up my perfect Marillion set list by picking one song from each one of the albums* I have made with the band.And we thought it might be fun if everyone listening played along to see how well you think you can predict my choices.How to PlayYou are going to need a pencil and some paper, (or an iPad or a blackboard, or a cave-wall and some woad). All sorted? Smashing.So now you need to list numbers 1 - 14 and then select a song from each one of the albums from Seasons through to AHBID* in chronological order.Just ONE song per album, and it should be the song you think I am going to choose.Once you have picked one for each album you should have your own take on what my ultimate set-list will be. Have one last check over it to be sure you are happy, and then you are done.Scoring and the Winner(s)Listen to Chapter 118 and mark your answers against my choices with one point for each one that is correct.Post your total out of 14 (no cheating) in the comments section on Patreon and let’s see who I am most cosmically aligned with. If you win, you should probably worry...Love’n’it's not the winning - it’s the taking parth*for the purposes of this game Less is More and With Friends from the Orchestra aren’t included.TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
08/08/221h 21m

Chapter 117. The Essence of h (Part Two)

Not a lot to report this week, if you listened to Chapter 116 then you know what’s about to happen and you don’t need anything from me by way of explanation.However, and whilst I have your attention, both Ant and I are aware that Ronan Keating was never actually part of Westlife. So if you think you hear us say anything to the contrary, you are in fact mistaken.And it is a well known fact that Seagulls are very proud of their regional accents, and celebrate them most wholeheartedly.Love ‘n’laundromatsh
01/08/221h 16m

Chapter 116. The Essence of h (Part One)

I hour, 17 minutes and 2 seconds. What were we thinking....To be honest there are three reasons why Chapter 116 of The Corona Diaries is over an hour and a quarter long;We clearly weren't thinking (we were just blathering)I tried to explain what's in my music room...Ant came up with a bonkers concept for conversation, that will probably take us the rest of the year to get through.So I am going to stop typing - so you can start listening - because you haven't got a moment to waste.Love, ghost trumpets, and ukulele-hangershTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
25/07/221h 17m

Chapter 115. Nobody expects a Rotisserie Chicken (thanks for that Drew)

If you go all the way back to the beginning, way before it was called The Corona Diaries (or even TCD for that matter) one of the first things that Ant and I talked about was incorporating a reading from my diary into every episode.Not only did we think it would give some structure, but it would provide the opportunity for me to expand on the entries and answer any follow-ups that Ant thought might be interesting for you, dear listener.Clearly we have evolved since then, as the tap-room banter and general ill-preparedness has been raised to somewhat of an art-form, but the diary segment has remained true to that original intent.I say this because every once in a while the diary entry takes centre stage, and this week is one of those occasions, as you are about to hear.Buckle up, and don't argue with the cabin-crew...h
18/07/221h

Chapter 114. I often listen better with my eyes.

It's one of the characteristics of this time of day, especially true at this time of year. The sun is dropping toward the horizon, but in a very languid fashion as if it wants to hang around for as long as possible.Rafa is just about to edge the fifth set, but it's been a rollercoaster of a match. The tension has been building, the crowd is getting more and more animated and every point is like an entire match, wrapped up in time. The very essence of tennis.The man from the ministry has been and gone in a vehicle unknown. He seemed nice, maybe a little older than me, but very affable and he left happy with me and my boiler. Only yesterday I was boarding a plane, half the world away, but now I am back, watching the corn flies in the early evening haze and contemplating the diminishing level of my gin glass.Nothing to do. Nowhere to be. Bliss.And then the familiar ping of a WhatsApp notification.Oh bugger, I should be recording this weeks TCD - now where is my microphone?Love'n'line-callshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
11/07/2256m 56s

Chapter 113. Navel poking is a definite no-no

There is always a slight sense of apprehension when Ant & I reconvene to record a new episode of TCD and I am overseas.This week I am in Montreal so we were at the mercy of hotel wi-fi and a strong Nor' easter, and as a consequence there are a few bits of mid-atlantic turbulence baked into the conversation - but I think we just about got away with it.It is some testament to the power of Zoom that we even manage to cobble TCD together at all in these moments, especially when you consider that the original plan was for Ant & I to get together once a month and batch-record. How things have changed.Anyway, here it is and Happy Canada Day!Love'n'skiving offh
04/07/2256m 30s

Chapter 112. Cut yourself some slack, but don't spend too long in the hammock

I might have started repeating myself a little. I think you may well already know that, but because you are so very sweet you don't tend to mention it. I also think Ant has started to notice, and I don't know whether he is being equally polite or whether he is just humouring me (but, more likely, using it as an opportunity to illustrate my onset of dementia.)For this week's chapter we are talking about Happiness is the Road, and as part of the conversation I may well have enthusiastically said a few things that I have previously (and equally enthusiastically) said. If so please bear with.Saying that I am pretty confident I haven't mentioned the Queen of the Sandwich, the crowd at Montpellier or my crunchy Maracas before. I also don't think I have likened our songs to Sinatra up until now. So maybe it isn't such a problem after all.Love'n'jamming without tensionhTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
27/06/221h 4m

Chapter 111. I was anticipating a slap-up birthday lunch, and I ended up with a sausage.

Just for once lets start with the apologies...Ant would like to apologise to the Flaming Lips, and/or possibly the Welsh people, and/or possibly all Americans - depending on your point of view.I would like to apologise to the Czech promoter who did in fact pay us in Prague, but not the other promoters (Czech or otherwise) over the years that didn't (or at least haven't so far).Right now we have got that out of the way, this weeks chapter is one of our infrequent Q&A episodes. Whilst these are a regular for those that support The Corona Diaries on Patreon, we only occasionally incorporate them into the general release - but we have had so many good (and brave) questions of late, it would have been rude not to share a few.Love'n'Linda McCartneyhx
20/06/2257m 25s

Chapter 110. Have you seen me God socks Ian?

Some things are so obviously meant to be that you wonder why it took so long for them to actually happen. White chocolate on a KitKat Chunky, David Tenant setting foot into the Tardis, abandoning the daily grind of wearing pants and getting Lucy Jordache to appear on the podcast.And do you know what, she doesn’t disappoint. In fact there are some lovely little insights into the reality of the day-to-day within Marillion and how she manages to stay sane.Love’n’binbagshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
13/06/221h 4m

Chapter 109. As we bid farewell to Lester.

Now that was a Marillion weekend.Leicester you did us proud. Three great nights, the crowd were amazing, the vibe was sublime and a group of Purples met up in the park, to talk the talk and to eat Lobster Linda's lemon drizzle cake.And yet, after all that excitement, there is still more on the horizon. Onward to Portugal, and the Aula Magna in Lisbon with the faint outline of the L'Olympia in Montreal shimmering in the distance. So much to look forward to, and only the simple job of knocking together this weeks episode of TCD standing in-between. Please leave a message after the beep.Love'n'rejoice in being connectedhTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
06/06/2239m 56s

Chapter 108. Stockholm Syndrome

Somehow different this week, but somehow the same. Clearly missing some of the regular stuff like the diary and the crooncast…but also retaining the kind of informed chat we have become famed for.The reason will of course be revealed, so whilst it is technically Chapter 108 (because that’s how the podcast software works…) it’s also a bit of a departure.Think of it as a mid-season special.Actually don’t think of it like that because that would infer we are only half way through and the thought of 200 plus chapters is still a little daunting. And on that note I am off back to bed.Love’n’Lester (arriving at speed with the whip..)h
30/05/2232m 20s

Chapter 107. You can’t leave that sofa there mate.

Before we get down to business a big shout out to all of the Purples in general, and a couple of the Purples in particular.Firstly I have to say thank you for all the kind messages wishing me all the best for my birthday, you are very sweet as well as being bloody gorgeous.Secondly to Justin Beaney, and Peter Davies for wading into the whole Somewhere Else discussion with some juicy follow-up comments & observations. Ant & I had quite a rare ol' time riffing away on your questions - the weekend question is worth the cost of entry on its own.And whilst I am name dropping, thanks to Andy R for the Berlin memories and the inspiration for the Crooncast.Next stop Sweden...!hP.S And now I know what a side-chain really does.TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
23/05/221h 5m

Chapter 106. That Tim B has a proper glow about him.

Chapter 106 has a real sense of climax, a feeling of crescendo if you prefer, as we build up themes from the Somewhere Else episodes to the pitch of fever.Firstly I take name-dropping to a whole new level, this is out-of-the-park stuff and you will know exactly what I mean when the moment arrives.Secondly, if you thought the Pugwash-inspired oceangoing crooncast was good, then look out... This week's, mention of Amazonian poison-dart frogs may well have inspired my Magnum Opus.And finally, this may be the best example of the post-diary chat being clearly undertaken by two blokes who hadn't actually read the diary entries in question, as we go on to repeat everything I had read out loud a moment earlier.Love'n'buffalo (they're bison really), and keep on croakin'hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
16/05/221h 3m

Chapter 105. Channelling your inner Zammo...

We have had some rum old episode titles on TCD but I think this one - concocted during our ship-to-shore chat from "Cruise to the Edge" in the Caribbean - might take the cake.Ant and I were remembering a TV show from my youth called Grange Hill and at one point there was a storyline involving heroin addiction.Anyway the character involved ended up fronting a campaign against substance abuse, and the catchphrase was ‘just say no’ (in fact I think it ended up being a single??). So when I dropped that into conversation Ant immediately picked up on the fact that the character in Grange Hill was called Zammo and we were off…TBH I don’t understand how these things tend to happen on TCD, but I think we should just embrace the fact that we both seem to be dwellers of the left field (even when there isn't a field for hundreds of miles...).Love from the high seas... (they're low actually)h xP.S Aah Haaargh!TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
09/05/221h 3m

Chapter 104. Carry on and we're all f*cked

Where else could you go for in-depth album chat, geo-political analysis, piano resellers & the best of Sid & Babs.We turn our attention to Somewhere Else for 104 and begin a gentle stroll through the grounds of that particular project, before moving onto the Main House (probably via the servants entrance) over the next few episodes.Somewhere Else of course was the one that kicked off the arrangement that brought Mike into the Production Chair, and so this is the beginning of the story arc that brings us all to the present day.Lovely.hThe Carry On FilmsTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
02/05/221h 6m

Chapter 103. You will never see a solitary gnome.

Chapter 103 never really stood a chance. The fact that Ant hadn't really got a plan for the episode didn't help, but TBH I don't think it would have made much difference even if he had.Examine the evidence;After dodging it since the beginning, I finally succumbed to the inevitable. And whilst I am feeling pretty much OK it does mess with your head a little.As the red light went on, I was caught somewhere between a pot of emulsion and another bout of furniture erection.I don't need asking more than once to talk about one of my favourite ever purchases, and it's probably not what you think.I had spent the previous evening conversing with a drummer about his newly discovered love of Norse-Metal.I will try and do better next time. But I won't try hard.Love'n'those-two-unnerving-red-lines... (from a singer half-way home in Oberhausen.)hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
25/04/221h 7m

Chapter 102. He doesn't seem to be like the others...

Greetings from Poland!Which reminds me, before we start, Ant & I were chatting and I was a little loose-lipped about the secret plans for songs & setlists for the three nights. SO if you are going to one of the remaining weekends and you want it be a surprise, then fast forward to about 07:30.Anyway welcome to 102, which I must say I am finding hard to describe, because it turned into 'one of those episodes' where we kind of just let it happen. So it's a mix of set-spoilers, guitar porn, beer on my back and sleep-deprived drummers.There's a dollop of diary and for the first time ever I have a crack at re-imagining one of the crooncasts (trust me it will be make sense).Happy Easter,h
18/04/2255m 15s

Chapter 101. If you don't stop, you can't fail.

It never seems to stop this podcasting lark.I was literally just getting over the Centennial episode (and what an episode it was, thanks again Mike H.) and the doorbell is going bonkers heralding the arrival of Chapter 101. And yet again it's another belter...'But how can you be sure it's a belting episode of TCD' I hear you ask in a quizzical tone.Well, that's easy, because it contains all the essential ingredients that make up the Victoria sponge of delight that is The Corona Diaries;A good value guest that fits right into the purple family One of those very special diary daysA crooncast totally out of left fieldThis one's for you Don.h
11/04/221h 2m

Chapter 100. A Real World example of Waft.

We had a very special guest join us for Chapter 100. And he dropped Waft into the conversation, and then he went on to define what Waft has come to mean in Marillion circles.Ant was very taken with the concept of Waft, because Waft is at the very heart of what makes TCD the thing that it is.So as we celebrate the fact that we have made it to 100 episodes, (and by the way that was never part of the plan), I must doff a cap to the brilliance of Michael Hunter, and to all the things that have made this journey possible;The band, the guests, the sisters, Zoom, Lucy, the livestreams, the purples & the roots, our families, Sontronics microphones, everybody who has listened, Mossad, the GRU and my long-suffering and undeniably witty interrogator, Ant Short.A wise man once said "This is the 1st Century. It's flash to crash and burn..."hP.S A hundred thanks to those who signed up at episode 1 and VERY special thanks to Alan K for being first through the door xTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
04/04/221h 14m

Chapter 99. Your own, perspex, Jesus.

Clearly it's all about the music. How could it be anything other than all about the words, oh hang on it's also all about the words. Yes, that's right, it's all about the music and the words. Saying that though, it's often all about the pictures as well...So for 99 we are going to talk Artwork & Visuals. You won't be surprised to learn that there is a similar amount of beard-stroking in the process of agreeing on the look of Marillion as the sound, so who better to help us understand the process than Simon Ward of Identity Media.Simon has been pitching in for about a decade, so he knows what he is talking about, which puts TCD in uncharted territory.Sorry Vince, sorry Alison.hIdentity MediaTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
28/03/221h 2m

Chapter 98. An Hour Before It's Dark Q&A LIVE (Part Two)

The second part of a great evening answering questions about the new album.If you listened to Chapter 97, you kind of know what to expect. After all this is just the audio from the second half of that evening. So let's get right down to it and kick off with a question from Richard.Oh, and if you have ever wondered what all this chat about 'purples' & 'roots' is all about then maybe you should check out the Patron page for The Corona DiariesBecoming a patron is a not only of supporting the podcast, it is also the route in to a whole load of extra content from Ant & myself and the chance to get involved in the purple conversation.Right, enough of that and on with the questions...Love'n'large glasses of gin,h
21/03/2256m 42s

Chapter 97. An Hour Before It's Dark Q&A LIVE (Part One)

Well that was a jolly good way to spend an evening.A couple of weeks ago, in one of our infamous TCD production meetings, Ant & I were discussing how we could do something a bit different to mark the release of the new album.After a bit of riffing, we came up the idea of asking people to fire in a question or two at the point when then had listened to AHBID for the first time. A kind of 'shoot from the hip', 'gut reaction' kind of a question.So we put out a plea to the podcast patrons and asked if they would be up for helping out, and we gave them a really narrow window of 48 hours to get in touch. And they didn't disappoint. We got a whole stash of great questions and went about picking a few for the episode.And I then decided it would be a bit of a laugh if we did it all (kind of) live and got selected questioners to drop by and put them to me in person. All we needed to do now was work out how the hell to make it work it practice, over to Ant for that bit.The result was a very informal Friday night Zoom hook-up, where we laughed a lot and also shed the odd tear. It turned into quite a night, as you are about to hear.So strap in, get ready and push the button,hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
14/03/2246m 20s

Chapter 96. A Spaceman came travelling...

This week is probably not the TCD you were expecting. Then again every week is not the TCD I was expecting, so no reason why it should be any different for Chapter 96.Other than it's a special week. Because its album release week.So you would (and could) be forgiven for thinking it would be an AHBID special. And indeed there is AHBID news for those of you who are Patrons of the podcast - so listen out for that - but instead we had to focus on space because of a very special diary entry, about a very special meeting.And the moral of the story, is that when you decide to focus on a very special diary entry, about a very special meeting, other very special things seem to happen.Love'n'brand new bikes,hRick - BandcampTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
07/03/2259m 14s

Chapter 95. Does your bus driver stop so you can make a snowball?

Listening back to Chapter 95 and it dawned on me(and not for the first time) how eclectic this podcast has become. Of course if you have got this far, you have probably become immune to it - and I thought I would try and illustrate this by simply summarising this episode in bullet-point form.So in no particular order, the top ten facts about Chapter 95;To be committed to languid you have to go for the full quarter toneKutting Krew was not spelled with a K and neither is DanelektroThe milkshake moment remains very specialI am convinced the Cellist was in the buildingAlways have a tidy-up before you stand in front of the benchOne of us had to catch it as some pointRoll out the bed, the weather is lovelyMore a pressure valve than a fountainI am a cereal killer, armed only with a bananaCan't hear it on-stage, can't hear it out-frontSee what I mean?Mincing'n'skulking'n'sleighbellrattling n'tambourineashakingAll in a day's work...hJet d'Eau - GenevaTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
28/02/2259m 44s

Chapter 94. Twelve thousand to go in Blackburn, Lancashire.

Bit of a hotch-potch of a chapter this one. A Lancashire Hotch-Potch* if you will.As you may know by now, I had to rush off to sign a lot of pre-order copies of An Hour Before It's Dark so they can be prepped & ready in time for the despatch date in early March.In honour of that (and after the initial 10 minutes of ramble) we chatted a bit about the new album, namely in the context of playing it live, the early reviews and the release of Murder Machines and the story behind the accompanying video.And, in an effort to be better informed, we are going to discuss this weeks diary reading in Chapter 95. So I will have no excuse because, as you will hear, I have in fact read it.Love'n'throwing shapes in a cupboard.h* Lancashire Hot-Pot RecipeTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
21/02/221h

Chapter 93. And it just looks like a huge piece of glass sitting in a bandstand.

It’s difficult to escape Wordle at the moment, and as with most of these things the genius is in the simplicity of it.So this weeks show notes are short ‘n’ sweet and brought to you in Wordle form…SHELFORGANGENIEFUMESFUGUEOh and even though I say it myself, this weeks crooncast may never be eclipsed. Oh, I do like to be beside the organ...Love’n’widdly gothic masterpieceshFunny Shop Names Twitter ThreadTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
14/02/221h 11m

Chapter 92. Chocolate Ears

Are you sitting comfortably, then I will begin.A long, long time ago there was a far away land. A magical place of clocks, and cheese and really useful little pocket knives. It was a warm and pleasant land and whilst its people tried to keep themselves neutral in all matters also still insisted on their confectionary being triangular. And as a result quite difficult to wrap if given as a gift.One fine day a man of music arrived from across the water. He wasn't really sure why he had been called to this strange land, but he travelled at the behest of a friend. And what nobler cause could there be than that.It soon became clear that a special performance was to take place, our traveller was to sing and a group of local minstrels, who had been summoned for the purpose, would provide the accompaniment. There would be words and music and unexpected shifts in key and time signature and it would be a night to remember.And then, as the hour approached something unusual and unexpected happened and a silence fell upon that place. Another man of music appeared at the side of the stage in a plume of smoke from a little machine. A mountain of a man from an earlier time, he had the whiff of tartan and he was clutching a flagon of mead. And for a second all was still, and if a pin had dropped you would have surely heard it.But not for long, because these two men of music shared a common bond, and soon fell into the deepest of conversation. And they drank, and they laughed and they sang. And although few people bore witness, you must believe me that all of this did truly happen. Just once. In that far off land. The End.TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
07/02/2256m 46s

Chapter 91. When Dave had that look, I knew I was in trouble.

The second half of the Marbles chat with Dave Meegan this week. As usual he doesn’t disappoint.After the general discussion of last week, we target (laser-like) in on Ocean Cloud, Fantastic Place & Neverland for a more detailed memory prod. Of course that means reliving those four Neverland verse chords, and a progression so close to perfection that we nearly played them forever.And before I forget DM wanted me to give a shout-out to Mike H and recognise all that he contributed to the Marbles story (particularly at the end when it all got a bit unnecessary).The diary takes me to Aziz Ibrahim's place in Manchester, for knocked-through terraces, home made curries, tabla machines and guitars that think they are synthesisers. And then Ant & I make ourselves look like a right pair of Johnsons by having no idea what had been in the diary reading - well what do you expect by now?Love, chordal perfection, ocean-rowing, and may your marbles remain in your possession.h
31/01/221h 8m

Chapter 90. Tales of a childhood nemesis.

Friend of the Podcast (FOTP) and all-round fine fellow Dave Meegan joined us for the recording of Chapter 90, and as you would expect, it was as lovely as ever. What it also means is that there is some solid intel about the recording of Marbles, from the early writing sessions in Bath, through the updating of facilities at the Racket Club and what that meant to songs like Ocean Cloud & Invisible Man.It quickly became clear that we weren't going to cover it all, but Ant made the executive decision to spread it over a couple of episodes so expect to hear more from Dave M in 91.The diary takes me back to Padstow, and a bit of a last minute decision to immerse myself in some West Country paganism. That’s not something that happens every day. More’s the pity…What an 'Osser.hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
24/01/221h 2m

Chapter 89. Bob Harris, Alexander Fleming or the keyboard player from the Who

There is no point trying to be modest, or indeed beating about the bush, because Chapter 89 is a whopper.In the past (it is fair to say) that we have produced some reasonably entertaining chapters, and also some relatively in-depth episodes. But 89 may well be the first time we have come close to marrying the two together (and there will be more on that later).So, and in no particular order you are about to enjoy;1. A couple of band-on-the-road-trips, one in Sweden and one in Germany.2. The balance of the questions received from Patrons for use in the Oxford Livestream broadcast (including a belter from Sarah Golding-Keane about my footwear).3. A small update about my smalls.4. A call to action with regard to The Release5. The definitive guide to Tupperware.You see what I mean. Whopper.Love’n’McCartney,hWho Are You (Promo Video) TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
17/01/221h 16m

Chapter 88. Do you know the name of your DPD driver?

And we're back...It seems like an age since we were chatting festive b*llocks with Chris Neil, and yet TCD has only actually been away for a week. Did you have a nice break?We are looking back a little this week as we focus on the Oxford Show from the 18th December. If you watched the livestream (or indeed were there in person) you will know that Ant took to the stage for a bit of TCD bants just after the interval. He had organised some questions from the Purples especially for the event and because we didn't get through them all we thought we would cover them today (and for chapter 89 as it happens). Hopefully you will find it enlightening...Which brings us to the new year, and what better way to start than with a new volume of the diary. Back to the heady days of 1998 and the joys of an old-school fan club convention gig in Barcelona, all sticky keys & sewage. A big shout-out to Ivan and my brother-from-another-mother Gabriel.Love'n'bradshawshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
10/01/221h 5m

Chapter 87. Christmas B*llocks

OK, lets gets the bad news out of the way first, this is the last Corona Diaries chapter of 2021. Ant & I have decided to have a week off over the festive period, but we will be back ready to pick up the baton in the new year.And so to the good news: As promised we bring you a full-on Christmas Special to close out the year. The legend that is Chris Neil (d.o.b Dec24) joins us for an extended edition of absolute (Christmas) bollocks.No spoilers, no trails, no clues...just immerse yourself in over 75 minutes of absolute meandering and meaningless (but proud) twaddle.And it goes without saying we both wish you a safe & peaceful Christmas and a hope-filled new year.Love'n'noisetteshP.S Did you get my text message Miles?TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
25/12/211h 17m

Chapter 86. You can almost spot the join.

Tuesday 7th December, Chez Hogarth (cont'd).Half way through recording what would eventually become Chapter 85, Ant had the idea that we should keep riffing on the subject of .Com and see if it would offer enough 'gold' to stretch over two episodes.So we did.And at the end of the session we felt confident that we had easily achieved that in terms of quantity, working on the assumption that the ship has already sailed with regard to quality.Of course once we began to piece it together, and remove the various interruptions, sustained bouts of laughter and extended moose cameos we realised it might have to be a bit of a cut'n'paste job.The question is, how many of the joins can you spot? Answers on a postcard, the winner gets a yo-yo, a satsuma and two walnuts in crocheted cardigans...Next week.... CHRISTMAS BOLLOCKS with Chris Neil!Love'n'last-minute rehearsing. Maybe we'll see you in church...hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
20/12/2145m 27s

Chapter 85. It's brown, with antlers and a repertoire of two.

Tuesday 7th December, Chez Hogarth.Ant happened to be in the vicinity and so we hatched a plan to record Chapter 85 with both of us in the same room. Face to face, either side of the kitchen table.What could possibly go wrong...The answers (for there are a few) in no particular order are Cardboard, Roof Bars, Muted Trumpeteers and a Christmas Moose. But we are dogged in our determination to bring you inaccurate, oft-repeated and post-watershed banter - so we powered on and managed to cobble together some thoughts on the creative journey that became marillion.comThere are a few chair scrapes, quite a lot of delivery people, the odd bit of Mrs h and a French bulldog in there which should provide the requisite ambience.Oh and the crooncast is the second part of your prescribed treatment, Scott Forte.Love'n'twinkly lightshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
13/12/211h 2m

Chapter 84. Unleash the Swoop

This one's for you Jackie Blear from Leigh, Lancashire. You have probably forgotten, but you posted a question on the guest book page at stevehogarth.com and Ant was quite taken with it. Consequently we took it, ran with it and mangled it into a whole TCD sized chat.I won't say any more because it will give the game away, but congrats Jackie on bringing about a fair amount of head-scratching, beard-stroking and whispered muttering. The diary section is all about my late-night tour of the White House. The Oval Office, the press room, literally the whole nine yards. Almost caught a whiff of Monica Lewinski's perfume drifting up from the thick pile carpet. It's amazing where knowing a man with a big gun can get you. Love from h, the US secret service, Mossad, Eagle, Evergreen, Energy and Marilynhps Thank you to the Baroness for my Cardiff encore cardigan. XTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
06/12/211h

Chapter 83. Pass me the Russell Hobbs, I need to record this weeks TCD.

The plan for TCD 83 was that we were going to chat about mixtapes, because Ant had the idea that back in the day I would probably have put together a new mix for a two week road-trip.And to be fair he is quite right. Back in the day it would probably have been a TDK C90, purchased in a three pack from Woolworths, and it would have been one of the Chrome ones. I went with the better quality ones as I still felt bad about the number of keyrings I had purloined from the same store.We settled on a 'pre-show' side and a 'post-show' side, to allow for a couple of different vibes, and I scoured my iTunes library for inspiration. It turned out to be quite a good mix as it goes - let me know what you think?And (if I say so myself) the diary this week is pretty epic. I must remember to post a rug-based-montage onto insta at some point when I get home.Love'n'crocheted testicleshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
29/11/211h 1m

Chapter 82. I don't give a s@#t that you're Cher...

Greetings from the road!Well we just about managed it. From a hotel room in Cardiff, via a bit of piano onstage and a fair amount of knob tweaking in my tour bunk comes this weeks instalment of The Corona Diaries (sadly this work-flow took it's toll on the audio quality a bit as we were fighting with unhelpful recording spaces so please bear with us).Of course, to complicate matters further, we only went and threw in an extra special guest as well. I managed to track down the one and only Chris Neil, (legendary producer, actor and impressive name-dropper) and he popped up on the Zoom call with a twinkle in his eye and a urinal in his backdrop.Needless to say we had a good ol' natter about his time with the band working on HiE, his impressive discography and his slightly risqué history.Oh and in the wrap (emboldened by Mr N. who was press-ganged into it) we truly live up to our #pornographers moniker. Go no further than the diary if you are easily offended by laddish smut. What am I saying?!Love from the stage,(Cracking tour so far....)hDennis Waterman - I Could Be So Good For YouTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
22/11/211h 7m

Chapter 81. I could have been a wrestler.

Chapter 81 is a bit of an exercise in tying up the loose ends. There has been a fair bit of information coming your way over the last couple of episodes and Ant wanted to follow up on a few bits. So (and in no particular order) we had a crack at...;A little bit about John Helmer's band The Piranhas and their claim to fame.A bit of an update from Thomas Olsson regarding Isildurs BaneSome trivia about one of the lines from Three Minute Boy that got lost in the edit for 78The time I phoned John Helmer from an airport lounge to check it was OK to use some lyrics in a song we had already recordedA rummage around some of the flotsam & jetsam in my man-caveThe diary entry is also a bit of a belter, and allows me to indulge in some first class name dropping. What a shallow bastard!..Love'n'salad SaturdayshThe Piranhas - Tom HarkTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
15/11/211h 2m

Chapter 80. Dropping the aitch...

You are of course aware that we try and pull out the stops a bit when we get to a chapter with a nought in it, and for this landmark episode I think we have totally nailed it.I know Ant was a little nervous, and I have to admit a few flutters myself as we tried to keep up with our guest John Helmer, lyricist, musician, author, podcaster and all round impressive human being.Of course we needn't have worried, John was an absolute sweetheart and we reminisced with affection and warmth about our first meetings, and the way we slipped into a very easy working relationship that would, of course, prove very fruitful.John even arrived with a surprise up his sleeve, which closed the chapter out an absolute treat. Thanks John.Let's purple down the years,hThe Learning Hack PodcastThe Piranhas - BoxsetTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
08/11/211h 11m

Chapter 79. A couple of rough things I must throw down.

It's a proper go at edu-tainment this week, by which I mean that this weeks chapter of TCD aims to inform as it entertains, or even entertains whilst trying to inform. To be honest I am not sure which way around it should be, the point is we were shooting for both.So how does it inform I hear you cry.Well.How many times can you work a reasonable gag, before you have to let it go. And if you can't stand to give up on it, how much longer before it stands a reasonable chance of becoming a catchphrase. These are the issues that TCD is not afraid to tackle head-on.Oh, and we also witter on about my collab with Swedish prog royalty Isildurs Bane and the project that became Colours Not Found in Nature.And that folks is what TCD does best, although I don't know what it is.Love'n'bees'n'spies.hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
01/11/211h 3m

Chapter 78. It's an odd feeling to be in the middle of a city without shoes.

After numerous false starts we finally got back on message for chapter 78, and picked up the threads of the Radiation story. To help with this Ant thought it might be useful to have some cerebral stimulation, so we used the Wikipedia page for the album as a starting point for our chat.This actually proved to be moderately successful and we were able to pretty much confirm the contents of the page to be mostly on the money with regard to the recording and production of the record.The diary is the first section of the TSE tour from Brazil, and (if I say so myself) is evocative of multiple aspects of this amazing country - none of which are anything like Timpsons.Love'n'hamstershTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
25/10/211h 6m

Chapter 77. Don't go messing with mi vibe.

Almost a tale of two tours this week, if you don't mind the ol' nod in the direction of Charlie D.After the opening salvo of infected teens, and DIY insurance we moved on to talking about the current state I find myself in, namely taking the week to do some pre-reheasal prep. Now you might be thinking that the phrase pre-rehearsal seems like an oxymoron, but in my world it means listening to MP3 files and trying to work out how the new songs go.So why a tale of two tours I hear you cry, well the diary this week covers some similar ground as the Band hit Cambridge for the first night of the TSE tour back in 1997.Love'n'aperitifshGin HassGin Hass is a danish creation and was first made when a danish bartender named Kim Hass mixed mango syrup, lemon soda and gin together.4 cl. Dry Gin10 cl. Schweppes Lemon (San Pellegrino is better)Mango syrup1 LimeLots of ice!Fill the glass with ice, and squeeze the juice of half a lime over it. Add 4 cl of Dry Gin and top up with of 10 cl Lemon Soda. Stir the drink and carefully add a bit of mango syrup. Garnish with fresh mint.TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
18/10/2156m 3s

Chapter 76. Saddled with intellectual heft.

It's all about the diary this week, because that also makes it all about the h Band. February 1997 saw the first incarnation of the h Band take to stages around Europe for a short but near-legendary tour. We touched on it a little bit last week, but it seemed only right that it got a bit more attention - bearing in mind it would be such a fleeting reference.But we packed a lot into those few days, as London, Paris, Amsterdam & Cologne all came into view, to offer up something unique before fading into the mist.And the intellectual heft? Well lets just say 'elephant-dung-infused' and leave it at that.Love'n'ElsanhTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
11/10/211h 8m

Chapter 75. You're not putting those three tablas in my bunk.

**you will have to insert the sound of klaxons in your head**Would you believe it we have only gone and got to seventy five...?!!Initially we kept the celebrations on the down-low, preferring to cancel the ticker tape parade in favour of dog-whispering, junior football training & band-based-beard-stroking.But as the evening shadows stretched themselves I donned some suitable knitwear, Ant opened a bottle, and we got down to it. And do you know what, Episode 75 is a triumph of TCD-ness...Thanks to everybody for sticking with this... purple really is the new black.Hugs in plenty, cool beans, and run the bath...h*Bonus Episode*Shure Signal Path Podcast - Steve HogarthTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
04/10/211h 6m

Chapter 74. Flash as a rat with a gold tooth.

Not only was I in the room at the time, but I have also listened back to Chapter 74 and I am still not entirely sure how it happened.74 was supposed to be about Radiation, Ant had flagged that as being the plan and we had gone as far as stating for the record we were going to stop waffling and get to the good stuff.I am still at a loss therefore to understand how we spent the next 29 minutes talking about Holidays in Eden. Oh well.74 is also another one of those ‘a year in the life’ diary sections as it covers all the entries from 1996. We talked a little about that as well. I didn't write a whole lot that year. Must've had a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock...Struth...hohmygiddyaunt.com.auTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
27/09/211h 4m

Chapter 73. Deckchairs? In December?

It wasn't supposed to be an Epic this week. It was supposed to be the first chapter focussing in on the album Radiation. If you are a regular listener (and if you aren't then where have you been?) you will know that we are kind of working through the albums at our own pace. Ant asks me a bit about the whole writing/recording/mixing process and I add a smattering of colour to the best of my recollection.But then the trouble started - for some reason we miscalculated our chat times, and then compounded this by forgetting we had three days of diary to include. So before you could say 'do-it-yourself circumcision' we were running out of room on the TDK cassette. Never let it be said that TCD isn't good value for your Zloty.Love'n'thinning scissorshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
20/09/211h 19m

Chapter 72. murmur, murmur...Marillion, murmur, murmur...Vocalista

We've all done it, haven't we. Made a real effort and gone to town with your outfit because you are convinced you are going to be greeted off a train by an international TV crew, only to find yourself in the custody of the authorities in sub-zero temperatures with nothing more than a wooden bench and a pocket sequencer.Of course if you are in the (small) minority that hasn't experienced that sort of a day then sit back and let me take you through the events of Saturday 18th November 1995. I should have known it was too good to be true when the breakfast turned up on time.Oh and ignore Ant this week, he kept saying it was a five-day diary reading when he meant to say five pages. Bless him.If in doubt always go to E flat.hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
13/09/211h

Chapter 71. Mablethorpe, Venezuelans, Ski-ing Fleas and the Tutankhamun Teabag.

This is one of those chapters of TCD that actually moves the whole kit and caboodle on a few notches, whilst also setting up what comes next.It's that bit in the movie that normally happens about 30 minutes in, when you have found out a bit about the main characters and one of them neatly explains what has really happened so far and what the hero is going to do to fix it. Or the bit in the play where one of the protagonists makes a point of explaining, in a stage whisper and directly to the audience, what the craic is.So after hitting you square in the face with an opening salvo of childhood holidays & village cricket, we close in on the finale of the first leg of the AOS European tour, with body maintenance in Hamburg and my favourite venue in Paris.And, just like all those movies, you are now ready for the set-up. In this case, the explanation of what is going to happen in TCD 72 and just enough of a tease to leave you on tenterhooks for the whole of the week.Spielberg would have been proud. (but then HE was never marched across railway lines at gunpoint...)Love'n'AtmosphericshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
06/09/211h 12m

Chapter 70. Between You and Me

So it turns out my new favourite thing is that, whenever we get to an episode of TCD that ends in a zero Dave Meegan turns up! And that of course is both a real treat and very, very cool…And of course it allowed Ant to go to town, honing in on the mixing process of This Strange Engine before turning to Dave’s memories of writing & recording Anoraknaphobia.It’s a bit of an epic, and it’s rich with insight and I hope you get something from it.Love (n’missing mixes of Circular Ride),hP.S It’s quite a diary excerpt this time, which we would like to dedicate to our purple members, you will be able to work out why. Albert sends his regards x#pornographersTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
30/08/211h 21m

Chapter 69. You may never get the 'real' answer to your question Jacob...

A little bit of a departure this week, as it's a bit of a themed episode.For those that support the show on Patreon (or 'purples' as they have become known) Ant & I produce an extra couple of pieces of content every month. The Odds n'Sodcast, which contains excerpts of unpublished diary as well as other peeks behind the curtain and the Guest Book Q&A which is where I answer those questions that have been left for me on the Guest Book page at stevehogarth.comAs we have had a plethora of questions in recently, Ant thought it would be good to have a crack at answering a few in an episode proper - but with the addition of a Monday night soda.So thanks to Jacob Dale, Amber Harrison, David A. Litterick, Justin Beaney, Cleopatra Headland, Gabriela Brozio & Reece Page for providing the questions and the inspiration for the Crooncast.Love'n'keyrings,hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
23/08/211h 2m

Episode 68. Cor blimey, Trousers!

Pete’s Easy Soda Bread Ingredients375g bread flour. (I use half Wholemeal, half White) 1 Dessert Spoon of Caster Sugar1 Teaspoon of Bicarbonate of Soda1/2 Teaspoon of Salt284ml Carton of Buttermilk1 EggMethodHeat oven to 180 Degrees Centigrade. Cover baking tray with baking parchment. Whisk egg. Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix well. Turn out onto a floured surface. Knead briefly and form into a rough boule.Place on baking tray. Make a cross cut on the top. Bake for 25-30 minutes. Cool on wire rack.And that's it for this week - the rest will be revealed as you listen.Love'n'CamelshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
16/08/2158m 55s

Chapter 67. Real Men

"Well he is nothing if not persistent...?!"Ant has one final go at trying to tie up all the loose ends in the story of 1996, choosing to focus this time on Album Artwork, how song publishing works & the decision to use email as a comms tool.And true to form I wanted to talk about my new two bruises, swiping at people with a velvet gauntlet on the village green and the strange north/south divide when it comes to urinal manufacture.Wolverhampton slightly underwhelms in the diary extract, but Manchester delivers on all fronts with the possible exception of a Snowball for the road.Love from Mr Cultural and Clean!hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
09/08/211h 7m

Chapter 66. Could you spell 'Orangutan' for me please Mr Hoggarth?

And we're back and having another go at making some sense of what happened in 1996...So after a little bit of feedback on matters outstanding from Chapter 65 (thanks to Sarah, Darren, Rich, Adam & Julie) Ant was determined to get me organised.To be fair he had a pretty good go at eliciting some background on Made Again, and when we had (soon) exhausted that particular topic he came back swinging with a whole bunch of questions about the origins of TSE.And if that wasn't enough there is an epic section of dairy from the final dates of the N. American leg of the AOS tour.So listen up, and listen well because there may well be questions at the end... You at the back! Put that test tube down!..Love'n 5 encores!hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
02/08/211h 6m

Chapter 65. A Chastity Belt of solid Gaffa tape.

It would be fair to say it took us a little while to find our collective oeuvre this week. What with the heat, and the excitement of ‘freedom day’ getting down to the business of recording a public service podcast was a little protracted.But like the pair of old pros that we are, we settled into a discussion about 1996. That particular year turned out to be quite a full-on period for the band, both individually and collectively. What with label changes, live albums, aborted musicals and moments of genius (well, ice-cream genius) it was quite a ride.On top of that, it was a fun-packed few days of diary as well - talc, top hats, bath robes, insomnia and meeting the son of THE MOST FAMOUS MAN IN THE WORLD.By the time the tape had been rolling for nearly an hour I am not sure we had made much actual progress, but Ant reckons I had digressed beautifully. Hmm...Hugs 'til you're purple, h x
26/07/211h 8m

Chapter 64. Books, Drugs & Manhattan

So we finally got around to talking about Books."Why books?" I hear you cry....Well, Ant has had it in his head that he wanted to chat about books ever since Leo Tolstoy kept coming up in the diary sections. I had been working my way through War & Peace on the tour bus and it took him back to a conversation we had had about the first few pages of Peter Pan. So for 64 we have tried to uncover literary references in my work, as well as books that I have enjoyed and that have made an impression. We have even included a couple of recommendations (see the links below).We tried to keep it high-brow, you will have to judge for yourself whether we managed it or not.By the time the diary section comes around we are back on solid ground, with drugs & dysentery in the big apple.Love'n'Bookmarks (purple ones still available in the TCD Merch Store)hCooking with Fernet BrancaA Gentleman in MoscowTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
19/07/211h 3m

Chapter 63. How do you think the Skunk would feel about that?

Before you say anything, yes I did say that we would be talking about Books this week.But we weren't feeling it and anyway the diary entries for this week were jam-packed with potential for follow-up questions. So instead of a balanced literary debate we get to the heart of the topics you really want to know about;Why do I seem to spend so much time looking for Shower Gel?At what point did the rest of the Band tell me they thought my AOS set-list was a bit s**t? Would talc have made it easier to swallow?And how do I feel about putting my name on some blokes big chopper?And you can probably begin to see why it took less than a nano-second to make a decision about this weeks chapter.Love'n'bumps in the road,hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
12/07/2155m 49s

Chapter 62. One Solitary Crouton

In our pre-show meeting Ant offered me two topics for discussion…‘Books or Clothes’Now that is a conundrum for first thing on a Tuesday morning after a birthday "do", but it ended up being a fairly straightforward choice as immediate power of recall rendered much of literature somewhat submerged in my brain-soup.So here we go with the ‘wardrobe secrets of Steve H’ and I can almost hear the strains of the Pet Shop Boys and the opening credits of The Clothes Show.The diary whisks us to Washington, and I experience a citrus high, an equine first and a  last-minute trouser dash all before the first curtain-up. The French designer I couldn't remember came to me in the night. She is Agnes B.Hugs, hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
05/07/211h 6m

Chapter 61. Riffling through me skip.

You might want to take a moment to centre before you start reading this, because it's a little confusing.Ready? OK here goes...So, todays episode is Chapter 61, even though it started out life as Chapter 60, I have checked & double-checked and it is without question Chapter 61.It doesn't matter that it was recorded before Chapter 60, you kind of need to forget about that...because it has been released after Chapter 60 (of course you know that because you have already listened to Chapter 60 - and wasn't it great to hear from Dave M btw)And when you listen to it you are going to realise that it even refers to things that happened in Chapter 59, but you are just going to have to take that with a pinch of salt.For these are all but minor details and all you need remember is that this is Chapter 61, and that is final.Love, golf bats, and regards from Real World xhTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
28/06/211h

Chapter 60. If they could finish Apocalypse Now, then we can finish this...

There is a little TCD tradition about trying to do special things around landmark episodes, and so it continues with Chapter 60.And that is because this week Dave Meegan popped along for a chinwag.Clearly it was great to see him, and we spent a very pleasant hour looking back over the Brave & AOS years, unearthing a few hidden gems about the recording of Brave and discovering that literally NOBODY involved can remember much about writing or recording AOS. It seems it fell from heaven.It's quite a relief when you find out its not just you that hasn't got a clue.Love, Chateauneuf du Pape and McFlurryshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
21/06/211h

Chapter 59. We need more Old Bangers.

For this weeks slice of mischief we turn to the topic of set-lists. What makes for a good ‘un and what you do when it’s just not hitting the spot - i.e. the "soundcheck panic meeting"...And if that wasn't enough (and to make it appear like TCD is a well considered piece of edu-tainment) this week we even have a case study!Using the miracle of the World Wide Web we look back on the running order of the AOS live shows, what they started out like and how they developed as the tour got going.And on top of all that, we address a question that has been bugging one listener for more than 30 years.Boom.hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
14/06/211h 3m

Chapter 58. The perfect vocal (take two).

It could be said that TCD is well on the way to becoming the podcast equivalent of public service broadcasting.I mean where else can you find out what a 'Bus' is and, more importantly, why it is useful (when there's only one-a-day in the shires), how to insult somebody with a motorised fader and the reason why you never see a Cricket Umpire enter the pitch without putting his gin & tonic down.Confused yet? Of course not, you have all been listening to this for too long to expect our conversations to be er... linear. And what's ANY of it got to do with a perfect vocal? No, me neither.Love'n'made-to-measure-cricket-batshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
07/06/211h 7m

Chapter 57. Amsterdam, Scotland.

It's a bit of a tech one this week, possibly even a bit nerdy - but I will let you be the judge (so as not to offend). To be fair to us both, Ant DID used to sell Shure Microphones and I am, well.. a singer.Ant & I got into a chat off air about 'comping' and to cut a long story short that is how we got into the subject of the various stages involved in recording my vocal performances.Of course by the end of this you are going to be able to talk with authority about 'comping', 'tracking', 'compression' and pre-amps. I am also going to let you into a secret about the end section of Neverland and you may even find out what Peter G keeps in his cupboard. No not THAT cupboard - the other one...Toodle Pip,hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
31/05/2159m 35s

Chapter 56. Communication Breakdown

You can be forgiven for thinking this sounds like one of those episodes that was recorded late in the evening, after we had both taken a drink. 'Possibly because this is one of those chapters of TCD that didn't quite go to plan. To start with the sketchy bit of research Ant had done proved to be of no great worth, so we ended up waffling and giggling.Then we lost the zoom feed, and we didn't manage to re-connect until three days later.Now of course we are ever the professionals (as you know) so we may have put a good shine on it. But just in case we didn't (there are some things you famously can't polish) I am putting my cards on the table. Ah - a straight flush!Love'n'Rasputin (wasn't HE deaf in one ear?)hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
24/05/2156m 51s

Chapter 55. Making a new racket, just around the corner.

As one door closes.We have covered the end of the Brave tour over the last few episodes, and that means it's time we started talking about what happened next - the process that would lead to Afraid of Sunlight.With a bit of prompting from Ant, I stiffened my sinews, girded my loins and persuaded the creaking cabbage in my head to throw up a few insights about the writing & recording of AOS. I did quite well as it goes, and recalled far more than I expected.In diary news this week I am off to New York, to see Tommy (again) on Broadway and meet with the Director. You may recall that I was being put forward to play the title role when the show opened in Germany, and this was supposed to be the next stage of that journey. Supposed to be.Love'n'BeethovenhTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
17/05/211h 10m

Chapter 54. A tale of two shows.

September 1994. Mexico City.What with opening an exhibition, climbing a pyramid and celeb-watching last week was quite a support-slot.But that's all it was, a warm-up before the headline act hit the stage and it was show-time. So prepare yourself for the main event, or should I say main events, as the Mexico trip came to a head with back-to-back sold out shows. And what a couple of shows, both pretty unique and slightly unusual...but we will get to that in due course.And of course, there is the little matter of a silver market and a very special girl with pigtails.Fantastico lugar.TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
10/05/2154m 10s

Chapter 53. He doesn't know his Aztec from his Inca

September 1994. Mexico City.And after quite numerous diary extracts, and quite a lot of misplacing of possessions, the Brave Tour finally comes to an end. And what a way to finish.Mexico had made a real impression on me the first time around, so I was really looking forward to this trip and for once I captured it in some detail. So let's relive the first part of what turned out to be quite an event-packed few days. Packed with boxers, bangles, painters and "Bono-moments".And a word to the wise, always consider the possible implications before you decide to climb a pyramid when you're already 2250m above sea-level on a show-day...It was Aztecs.Toodle Pip,hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
03/05/2155m 25s

Chapter 52. Friday Night Live

How do you celebrate the first birthday of a podcast...?As it happened it all came together quite nicely, a livestream of the recording session, my birthday shirt, honeyed tequila and everybody's favourite drummer.So cue a celebratory episode of TCD, with a bunch of your questions thrown in for good measure.It really has become a very special little project, and both Ant & I thank you for your warmth and support.love'n'toothpaste, hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
26/04/211h 8m

Chapter 51. Sister Act (Part 2)

And they’re back....It seems you are all loving our Gilly & our Sue, which is kind of fortunate bearing in mind they are back for a second bite of the apple.This week we get onto the ‘rockstar’ years and what life is like when your brother is jetting off all over the place. And taking himself VERY seriously. And sending postcards.Also stay tuned for news of the special plans in place to make one whole year of TCD a bit of an event.Gosh.TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
19/04/211h 10m

Chapter 50. Sister Act (Part 1)

Now this is something pretty special.Ant was finally able to arrange the long-talked-of chat with my sisters. So, please give a nice big TCD welcome to 'our Gilly & our Sue'.Of course I had no idea what had been said, so you can imagine my reaction to the tales of mischief perpetrated by my younger shelf. Needless to say I have no recollection of the curious incident of the dog in the garden.Anyway, I hope you enjoy three members of the Hogarth clan in the single episode. And if you do, then you will be pleased to know there is more to come in TCD 51.Lord preserve us.TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
12/04/211h 10m

Chapter 49. Pass the mushrooms, hombre.

And that brings us around to 'the difficult second album'.There is no doubt that up until we began writing what would become Holidays In Eden, the honeymoon period for band & new singer had held together pretty well.As we headed back down to Brighton, and the slightly posher surroundings of Stanbridge Farm, the sun was (literally) shining both for us...and on us.Of course when we finally left there was snow on the ground. We thought we had written three nailed-on hit singles, I had discovered that rice tastes good but FEELS better and that light occasionally goes a bit goo-ey and tastes of oranges.But we will get to all of that in due course...Love'n' Kit-KatshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
05/04/211h 14m

Chapter 48. I thought you were supposed to be a big time rock’n’roll band?

And so it began. Those first few shows with Marillion, and me thrust into the limelight - literally front and centre.To finish off the story of 1989 means talking about life on stage, from the now infamous Crooked Billet to a ‘slightly less than planned for’ start in France.As you will hear I really enjoyed the Seasons End tour, and the unique journey that each one of the shows afforded me and the boys.Oh, and if you happened to stumble on a bin liner full of Paul Smith linen suits, could you let me know?Much obliged.hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
29/03/211h 5m

Chapter 47. Flouncing around in a big shirt.

1989.However you look at it, it was quite a year.As a band, we got through quite a lot, even without the complication of a change in personnel. So strap in as we continue with my early impressions of Marillion, which this week means the recording of Seasons End at Hook End Manor and the joys of recording promo videos.Whatever happens, by the time you get through the next 1:04:01 (hours/mins/secs) of Chapter 47 you are going to know;how to deal with a barn fire the most fun you can have with some birthday candles and a dry-cleaning bagthe first thing to do when the police turn up with a writWhoever said that TCD wasn't educational as well as entertaining.Lord Bryon sends regards,hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
22/03/211h 4m

Chapter 46. And he's been a day behind ever since...

For quite a lot of people, this part of the story has been a long time coming.Those early months of 1989 have been the subject of many questions, as what would become the next thirty years of my life, began to be mapped out. It's a tale that involves the son of a Shadow, a school friend of Pete's and my old drinking-buddy Darryl Way, along with a car that may (or may not) have been stolen and a first meeting that was never meant to be alfresco.What I still can't fathom (as you will hear) is when I actually became the lead singer of Marillion.Love'n'allergieshTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
15/03/211h 6m

Chapter 45. Always remember to say thank you, if somebody buys you lunch.

Mmm, strange title, I hear you thinking.Well I could have gone with 'Why ever would you call a child Muff?' or even 'Why does Pharrell never return my calls?' but in the end I decided a reminder to be decent & polite was most appropriate.Of course you are now wondering what has any of this got to do with TCD Chapter 45? Well today we pick the How We Live story back up and follow it all the way through until the season finale. Anyway, boy does it end on a bit of a cliffhanger. No spoilers though - you are just going to have to wait until next week to find out how it all plays out...Love & suspense,hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
08/03/211h 9m

Chapter 44. We will always have Paris.

Ant & I did a interview this week with the lovely Anne Bond of the Web Magazine to talk about TCD. During the chat she asked about the amount of planning that went into each episode. Now clearly Anne was being a bit generous, but in the spirit of honesty we owned up to the fact that in many instances, really not a lot.Take this week. Prior to recording on Monday both of us had read the diary and Ant had proclaimed that he had an idea for a title and possibly a couple of questions.And TBH that is normally all we need. Cue the red light, adjust the pop shield and see where we end up after the caffeine runs dry.Tom McGread probably called it right when he exclaimed on receiving TCD43 ‘what a way to start a weekend, 1 hr & 21 mins of Gold Drivel’.A point well made Tom, and another contender for the tee shirt.TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
01/03/2153m 50s

Chapter 43. I may (or may not) be still on the shelf.

Have you ever wandered into a Marillion gig and...(a) glanced across and marvelled at the sheer size of Phil Brown's console, and speculated why he needed all those knobs. Or.(b) wondered why some chap was dashing across the stage mid-song to pull gubbins out of the back of my shirt. Or even.(c) speculated what it meant when I looked to the side of stage, pointed to Pete and then pointed down to the ground.If so then this week's episode will be a treat as I talk you through what goes on behind the scenes on a work day, as we prepare for the evenings show.Love & Line Checks.TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
22/02/211h 21m

Chapter 42. Lyrically Speaking (Part 2).

Following on from last weeks discussion on my approach to lyric writing and some of the methods I employ, I thought it might be interesting to talk through an example.Gaza was a song that was somewhat unique in terms of the development of the lyrical content, and the sensitivity of the subject matter. I was very conscious I didn't want to wade in and pass comment on the situation from a distance and so in this episode I explain to Ant how the lyric took shape through the people in Gaza, Israel, and the UN whose perspectives I learned from.It also allows me to introduce you to my friend Oren Hertz.Keep it purple,hP.S Listen through to the end of the CroonCast for some breaking news.TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
15/02/211h 6m

Chapter 41. Lyrically Speaking (Part 1).

Now Justin Beaney is a very fine chap,He lives near Corsham, in a place called Chapel Knapp,He sent me a message in his own time,All about the reasoning behind my rhyme.So Ant asked the question in chapter forty one,And I tried to recall the things I had done.So thanks Mr B for being one of the gang,And sorry in advance for the rhyming slang.h.TCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
08/02/211h 6m

Chapter 40. The one where Dave Gregory showed up.

What can I say, I wanted to make Chapter 40 a bit of an event.So first off we decided to record in the evening, and imbibe a little of the good stuff whilst chatting. Then Ant discovered we could stream the festivities from Zoom to YouTube in a fairly lo-fi kind of way - so we thought we would give that a go. Finally after a speculative WhatsApp conversation with the Guitar God himself, I managed to persuade Dave Gregs to drop in and mix it up a bit.And (to be fair) that's just what he did, arriving armed with his journals and gently augmenting TCD with something completely new... hard facts. :o]I hope you enjoy the '40th' and huge thanks to Dave for making it such a special evening.Love & death-by-chutney,hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
01/02/211h 15m

Chapter 39. This is literally How We Live

I was a little concerned that the last two episodes were a little bit darker & more serious in tone than the average TCD. Now I am not saying that is a problem in of itself, after all you need a healthy mix of opposites, dark & light, sweet & bitter, ying & yang. So as we get back to some kind of normal service this week (the podcast equivalent of light froth with a generous dusting of chocolate) I like to think that this will merge with the virtual espresso shot of the last couple of weeks to form the perfect cappuccino.Anyway, metaphors to one side, this week is all about How We Live as we take a gentle stroll through the history, naming and personnel that made up that particular project.Don't Jump The Gun.hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
25/01/211h 14m

Chapter 38. Nostra-Hogarth (Part 2)

Welcome back for the second instalment of Hogstradamus's updated list of Heroes, Villains & Predictions.You may recall that we finished last time poised to launch into my predictions for 2020 & beyond, and you will be pleased to learn we managed to "navigate" our way (me, spade in hand, digging again) through.But before we were able to start, there was the small matter of some housekeeping to attend to from Chapter 37. Namely, expanding on that first night in Hamburg on the Brave tour, and the eagle-eared attentiveness of purple listeners Andy Meaney, Adam Burton & Ivor Ellis.All together now 'Oh my TCD-TV, Oh-oh, TCD-TV..'Love & insurrection,hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
18/01/211h 7m

Chapter 37. Nostra-Hogarth (Part 1)

I need to start the New Year by giving a shout-out to Pete Whitcher.Now Pete lives in Christchurch, Dorset (UK) and back on the 16th November he posted in the Guest Book over at stevehogath.com and this is what he had to say...Entry No. 1316: Good evening to you, Mr H,Following the latest TCD podcast (#30) and listening to your Nostra-Hogarth predictions how’s about another episode with your predictions for the next 20 years? Thank you, I’ll wait...Well Ant spotted this and the rest, as the saying goes, is history.We were hoping to get it all into one episode, but there was a good deal of meandering (who would have imagined that were possible) and so buckle up for the first of a double-header.Keep it purple, peeps.hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
11/01/211h 18m

Chapter 36. One hand in the Quality Street tin at all times.

This is the chapter that we riffed our way through.You see, what normally happens is that Ant arrives with a plan, well maybe not a plan in the purest sense of the word, but at least some sort of sketch of a plan.Now you could blame it on the time of year, or the sherry, or even the boogie - but the fact is he showed up for 36 with nothing. Empty-handed. Nada. He had zip. His only excuse was something to do with plumbing (I thought it wise not to pursue).Faced with this scenario, and being ever the professional, I suggested we hit record and let the fates steer us to the podcasting horizon. I think we may just have got away with it. But then I have had that suspicion all along...So that's it for 2020. Thank you for listening, contributing, responding and being with me in spirit. My floating club-gig often felt like an arena!So, here’s to parties on sunny afternoons in verdant gardens, being allowed to hug, to go to shows and to feel free again. Until then, you’re always welcome to join me in the headphones. Happy New Year, bugger the last one and stay safe.Love,hTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
04/01/2159m 31s

Chapter 35. It's only natural.

Depending on when you hear this, you could be buzzing from excitement about the upcoming h Natural Livestream or basking in the warm fuzzy purple glow of the event itself and all the bum notes I played. ("Surely he was wearing mittens?")Either way, Ant thought it might be fun to end the year with a chat about the whole concept behind the h Natural shows, how they came about, how I pick the songs and why trimming the tree has become a big part of the Christmas shows.And just before you think that sounds remarkably structured & planned for an episode of TCD, normal service is resumed after the diary reading as we delve into the world of 'dubbin'.Love & Baubles,hDubbinh Natural Livestreamh Natural Livestream Facebook GroupTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
21/12/201h 3m

Chapter 34. The Invited Guest

You may recall that we said we were going to talk about the Hogarth/Barbieri project this week.So unbeknown to Ant I made a call or two and arranged for Richard B to join us for the recording, and if I say so myself I thought it all turned out rather well.We took a (slightly) meandering turn around our various collaborations; Ice Cream Genius, Not The Weapon But The Hand & the Arc Light EP finishing off with a hint of things to come.Enjoy. h Natural Livestreamh Natural Livestream Facebook GroupTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
14/12/201h 5m

Chapter 33. Brave, it certainly is...

Well that was a little bit of a shock...I was doing a little bit of prep for todays chapter (no, honestly we do put a little bit of thought into TCD before the red light goes on) and it as it turns out the entries for ALL of 1993 are spread over 4 and-a-bit pages!Mmm, I seem to recall quite a lot went on in 1993.Undaunted, (and being the true old pros we are) Ant & I powered on to backfill some of the story around the journey that would take the band & myself to the Brave album. And as you will see it was the catalyst for a lot of things that still happen to this day.So strap in for for tales of arrow slits, flummoxed Abbey Road engineers, tanning salons, loose change in Lime Street and making a Racket for the first time.Love & livestreams..hh Natural LivestreamTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
07/12/201h 8m

Chapter 32. Does my bum look small in this?

You are probably wondering about the title for Chapter 32?All I can say is it went a bit wrong when I happened to say something a tad left field in a break in the recording of this weeks episode. It will all become clear as you work your way through...For the main order of business we pick up the h Band story, and we just about get to a conclusion whilst detouring slightly (you know the kind of thing, revelations of recordings, the renaming of bass players and Mr B's dark and fearsome aura).It's also a monstrous bit of diary this week, including an entry from one of my favourite places on the planet.And I started by exclusively announcing something that by now you are already aware of, and so isn't exclusive at all......well it made sense at the time.Love & implants,hh Natural LivestreamTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
30/11/201h 6m

Chapter 31. Do you fancy going out on the road, Dave?

Well after the gin-fuelled, after-hours antics of Chapter 30 normal service resumed for this weeks episode.A lot of you have been asking for more information about the h Band, and whilst it’s a little hazy (it was a bloody long time ago) I have tried my bestest to recall some of the backstory.The diary entry this week takes me to South America, and includes one very memorable day that Ant thinks is possibly the most entertaining so far.Oh, almost forgot, the TCD Merch Store is up and running - check out the link belowPlinky, plinky. Plinky, plinkyhTCD Merch StoreBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
23/11/201h 11m

Chapter 30. This is the 21st Century (as predicted by Steve H)

After everything that 2020 has thrown at us, we've only gone and made it to Chapter 30 of The Corona Diaries.To celebrate, Ant & I decided to abandon the traditional restrictions of the TCD regime (namely, cold stone sobriety and working to some sort of a plan) and go off-piste.So with charged glasses, and a chanced upon article I wrote in December 1999 we bounded on, undaunted, into our first night-time recording session. I was to discover that in 1999 I had a mental age of 17. It hasn't progressed much since, to be honest...Whatever you can say about TCD, there really is nothing 'quite' like it.Thanks for getting us to 30, you crazy kids, it really is a thing of loveliness. Mildly sloshed loveliness on this occasion.Stay purple, stay safe.hBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
16/11/201h 12m

Bonus Content: Odds n'Sodcast

If you have been paying attention, you will know that we have nearly made it to Chapter 30 of TCD. In fact it has been recorded & edited and is all ready for publishing this coming Monday.You may also recall that to celebrate that little milestone, we promised to bring you a little bonus episode that built on one of the stories I covered in Chapter 29. Well here it is.The story in question concerns a certain gentleman called Pascal Chuvet...It was first broadcast as part of an Odds’n Sodcast, one of the extra bits of content Ant & I record as a thank you to the Patrons that support the show - details below if you want to know moreI hope you enjoy this little purple extra, and thanks for being a part of the TCD family.Love and 30 handstands,h
13/11/2033m 30s

Chapter 29. The ten weirdest things, that have happened to me (Part 2).

The counting is over.The results are in.I know it's been a tough few days, nobody enjoys the hanging around and the waiting, but you are here now and it's all going to be alrightSo, here it is.The top five weirdest things that have ever happened to me...(I was eating toast and marmalade during this one so apologies for the squelching and iffy articulation. At least my juices were flowing...)Love'n' legal action,hBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
09/11/201h 7m

Chapter 28. The ten weirdest things, that have happened to me (Part 1).

To be fair, I do say these things......but the problem is that as soon as I hear the words leaving my mouth, I know that Ant isn't going to let it lie.So I have been spending the last week trying to compile & rank the ten weirdest things that I can recall happening, as I have made my way this far.I will have, of course, forgotten a couple which, no doubt, will break through around 4.00am and render me disturbed amidst purple thoughts for the rest of the night.Now normally I would drop a few hints or maybe the odd celebs name at this point, but this week I think it would be safer if it were spoiler-free. You have been warned.Keep it purple, hBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
02/11/201h 11m

Chapter 27. What, no Crowded House?!

If you hadn't worked it out by now, we record TCD on a Monday morning.Normally that isn't a problem, but this week my normal routine was disrupted by fitful sleep, the school holidays and a change to the usual greeting that emanates from Linette's alarm clock.Still, ever the old pro, I was "primed and ready" when the red light came on...i.e. Ant asked me about festivals and I couldn't remember any (have since had many festival memories explode in my head. I'm sure they'll be shared henceforth). So prepare yourself for err's and umm's from the cabbage which is my brain, along with Francis Dunnery, Up the Junction and yours truly making the point on You & Yours.And, if that wasn't enough, I manage to slip in a couple of cracking Dad jokes.Thank you Paul Hester, Milton Jones,h xBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
26/10/201h 8m

Chapter 26. The Rigorous Vocal Regime

Well it's been non-stop since I spoke to you last...Following on from the excitement of last weeks purple jubilee episode, I promptly toddled off to make a TV pilot with Trev & Lol and a cast of stars!And as if that wasn't enough, I followed that up with a live-twitter-album-listening-thingy hosted by the lovely Tim Burgess of the Charlatans (link below).In between all that I was at Marillion's studio writing Album 19. Lord!So follow Ant & I into Chapter 26 as I lift the lid on my week and let you know about the dark arts and rigorous regime required to keep my voice in tip-top shape.Toodle Piph x#TimsTwitterListeningPartyBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
19/10/201h 18m

Chapter 25. I know, it’s only rock’n’roll.

There have been a few elements of this podcast that could be captured on film as ‘ The Adventures of a Rock’n’Roll Singer’.This week we ratchet that up to eleven, as I introduce you to "Lord B and the post-oyster difficulty in Silvio Berlusconi's garden" and then take you though a fairly spinal tap-esque section of diary (complete with a brush with the law, and er.. a bush in a car).To finish off, I accept a crooncast challenge from Ant that involves me trying to remember one of my own songs...you have been warned.Hugs,hBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
12/10/2056m 15s

Chapter 24. Seasons Extras

We celebrated the 31st anniversary of Seasons End in this weeks episode of TCD.TBH we have been kind of celebrating it for a few weeks, what with the chapter on Berlin and then the Uninvited Guest hotel-based escapade that made it into the latest Odds n'Sodcast.This week it's a mixed bag of miscellany containing B Sides, me plagiarising myself and the gloves that turned into a cricket bat.And that's before we get to a man in Doncaster who can predict the speed of sewage.Keep it purple, inmates.h xBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
05/10/201h 22m

Chapter 23. I can't possibly make you breakfast darling...not in this lobster bib!

If you were listening carefully last week you will recall that I mentioned staying at a hotel in Syracuse that left me more than a little underwhelmed.With that in mind Ant wanted to ask me about the worst (& best) hotels I had found myself in over the years. Well, that kind of opened the floodgates a little, so prepare yourself for gin-soaked landladies, orange nylon sheets and a strange scratching under the floor....And for those TCD patrons amongst you, there is even a bonus (and true) hotel story "The Uninvited Guest" on this month's Odds n'Sodcast - a great reason to embrace your inner purple and support the podcast.Oh, and please forgive Ant sounding Barry White-esque - he was nursing a bit of a head cold.Stay safe,hBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
28/09/201h 8m

Chapter 22. Berlin, Lobsters, Valkyries, Minibar Parties.

So I happened to mention something about Berlin whilst Ant & I were recording one of the bonus bits of content for the purple patrons.And it turns out both of us are big fans of the city, so we decided to make it part of a natter that doffed its cap to Marillion, the Europeans and the lyrics to the song of the same name.And (apropos of a tenuous link) it's a pleasure to be able to introduce you to Dickie Beaumont, V.V Manly and a Wagnerian Valkyrie who used to bounce me on her knee.No wonder you lot are worried about my health.Toodle Pip Lobsterbib Lobsterbib...hBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
21/09/201h 5m

Chapter 21. What do you call a dog who works in a Post Office?

I don't think we planned it to be this way, but Chapter 21 turned out to be quite a reflective conversation.Ant & I had been talking about the the first Albert Hall gig, after we had finished recording the live special last week, at which point we decided to make that the subject of this weeks chat.The idea had been to get into the backstory of how the gig came about, and that we did, but then we meandered a bit...After that, I got back on chronological track for the diary section (during which I lost my shit), before wrapping up with a guide to falling foul of US customs & strange pets.Well, what DO you call a dog who works in a Post Office?...Love 'n handstands, crazy kidsh xBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
14/09/201h 9m

Chapter 20. The one that was broadcast live... (Couch Convention Special 2020)

When Marillion announced the 'virtual' Couch Convention would be taking place, Ant & I had the idea to record an episode of The Corona Diaries and stream it live so you could could feel closer to the process of making the podcast.Sort of being in the room, as the magic happens...I am not sure it turned out that either of us had the technical expertise, or professional discipline to pull it off...but we tried.So excuse the odd bump & clank, the pinging of whats app messages and the ringing of phones. Whatever normal service looks like for TCD, it will be resumed next week. In the meantime, thank you - whoever you arehBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
09/09/201h 2m

Chapter 19. That was the week that was.

Whichever way you look at it Chapter 19 is a bit of an epic...You would have thought that after having had a few go's at recording TCD we would have been pretty good at it...and to be honest I think Ant & I did as well.But nothing could be further from the truth, as you will discover as you work your way through the next 90 minutes or so. I think the episode captures the kind of week I have had - even if it meanders a bit, and we giggle quite a lot.So whilst it might not be succinct, structured or polished (obvs) it most certainly is epic.See you for Chapter 20, which will be the live special for the Couch Convention weekend - and if you don't know what I am talking about then the details are belowToodle Pip,hCouch Convention WeekendBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
31/08/201h 33m

Chapter 18. The most victorious salad I ever ate...

I have touched on my time in the Europeans over a few episodes, but as Ant pointed out it has all been a bit haphazard and he was struggling with the chronology of it all.So today I attempt to navigate the timeline in a more linear fashion, and please take note of the word attempt.As is usual for TCD I manage to get a little distracted, particularly when we get to fly-hire, but it all makes for a jolly romp.Missing you already,hBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
24/08/201h 9m

Chapter 17. You Phil up my senses.

Would you believe there was no shortage of possible titles for Chapter 17. I could have gone with;'That Mr Brown, he's a Sound Guy'or'Two go mad in South America'or even'Departures II: Dude, where's my airline'In the end I kinda liked the John Denver reference.So, buckle up in the back of your mini-van, and relive the highs, lows, warms, freezings, lost luggage, lost check-in clerks and lost airlines of the h Natural tour of South America. Did I say I left my sunglasses in the van? Got em back 3 days later. Hooray!Keep it purple,hBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
17/08/201h 5m

Chapter 16. Lets talk about Fish

The night before we were due to record this chapter, the legend that is Phil Brown popped over for a catch-up and some serious gin sampling.Consequently we got talking about Phil, and how he had come to be the sound-guy for both Marillion and the h Natural shows.Well as you know I don't need a lot of encouragement, and before you could say big chunky jewellery, I was off regaling our adventures.But what has that got to do with Fish I hear you cry, well you will just have to be patient and listen to find out.Merry Christmas one & all!hBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
10/08/201h

Chapter 15. Gabriel, Glasgow & Gangsters

Cast your minds back a week or so, if you would be so kind, and try and recall where we finished up at the end of Chapter 14.Have you any idea what I am talking about?!If I said Benylin & Champagne...does that help at all?Thats it, my old Manager from the Harlow days - Jonathan Hodge. And today we revisit the tale of Jonathan and my brush with Gangsterism and swanky London penthouses.We also find time to talk about trying to play it cool with Peter Gabriel and first, and second impressions of Glasgow.Strap in, it's a circular ride.hBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
03/08/201h 14m

Chapter 14. Under the Covers with h...

The first thing Ant said to me on the Zoom call this week was ‘I have got an idea for a title for Chapter 14...what do you think?!’He went on to explain that he had been thinking about some of the cover versions that Marillion has released over the years, and maybe it would make a good conversation topic.So that’s what we did, and we talked about four tracks in particular - go on, have quick guess before you listen, and see how many you get.Oh and Mrs Kelly's rear makes a guest appearance.I’ll get mi coat....hBecome Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
27/07/201h 12m

Chapter 13. It's literally The Last Thing that I was thinking about.

As it turns out I woke up thinking about it, not quite in a cold sweat, but it certainly stirred me from my slumber.And it was The Last Thing that woke me.You will recall we have being talking about Ice Cream Genius over the last few episodes, and in all the excitement I had forgotten all about The Last Thing.As it turns out Ant had never heard the song itself, so I pinged it over to him so he could have a listen before taking him through the backstory. And it’s quite a backstory...Keep it purple!Become Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
20/07/201h 2m

Chapter 12. Corona on the Couch! (& End-of-Tour Parties)

Where to begin...You may recall in an earlier episode that I eluded to some high jinks with support band The Violet Hour on the HiE tour.My recollection was of it all getting a bit rock’n’roll, with gaffa-taped guitarists, fingers in splints and blood on the carpet.However, after discussing the matter with Doris (singer with TVH) it turns out some of that story was indeed the stuff of legend, so in this weeks pod I have set the record straight.It did however provide Ant & I an opportunity to discuss touring, and the importance of live music to the financial well-being of all those involved. A timely segue...#letthemusicplayKeep it purple.hP.S listen out for the exciting TCD 'live special' news.Become Purple and support the showThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
13/07/201h 12m

Chapter 11. The Sound of Genius (in fancy dress)

After our little foray into the world of the six-string in Chapter 10, we are firmly back on plan this week as we delve further into the making of the Ice Cream Genius album.Ant wanted to talk about the evolution of the musical ideas on the album, and how the creative process may have differed from that with my regular band. So I have tried to recollect to the best of my ability, including tipping a nod to those that contributed to the sound of the record.The Diary section takes us to Italy, a great place to spend time, but heaven forbid you actually want to try and work there as a (professional) musician... 2 trucks, 2 tour-buses and a kettle lead...Stay safe shipmates,hP.S last call for the British Podcast Awards, as voting closes on Monday 6th July at midday. If you haven't voted for TCD there is still time and the link is below!British Podcast AwardsSupport TCD on PatreonThe Invisible Man Volume 1: 1991-1997The Invisible Man Volume2: 1998-2014FacebookInstagramWebsite
06/07/201h 11m
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