No Holes Barred

No Holes Barred

By Knee Deep In Life, Victoria Emes

Unfiltered convos from two potty mouthed birds trying to find light in the lesser spoken realities of womanhood and beyond. Send us your stories for a chance to be featured in the podcast.

Episodes

Ep 127. Apple Pied Off

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Laura and Vic revisit the phantom potato thrower, discuss whether a racoon could fit in a bum and get a voicenote about a one night stand gone wrong. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
21/03/23·39m 53s

Ep. 126 Swingers Special

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura welcome some guests to the podcast who are in a relationship together and also swingers. They give an insight into the world of sex clubs and open relationships and break down some of the biggest misconceptions around this alternative sex life. It's eye opening as well as refreshing. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
15/03/23·1h 18m

Ep. 125 Nan Slag

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura discuss their weekends and surviving one socially awkward encounter at a time. They talk anal sex that leads to a hospital visit and how this show literally rendered an old lady unconscious. They also delve into the neighbourhood terror lurking around Vics local community. This week is nothing short of exceptional hilarity we think you'll enjoy. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
07/03/23·53m 43s

Ep 124. French Wank

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic tells her tales of wow that while she might have escaped her children for a night of passion, she was instantly met with the reality of parenthood as soon as she returned home. They receive a fruity confession and question over when you might over step the mark in a quest for close friendship and Laura gives some bedroom toy facts taken from a Instagram poll. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
28/02/23·57m 51s

Ep. 123 Googly Eyes

On this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Laura and Vic discuss their eventful half terms, Vic nurses a massive hangover, and they delve deep into the art of dirty talk. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
21/02/23·44m 23s

EP. 122 Tramadol, Candida, Kimchi

In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Laura & Vic discuss the importance of always reading medical guidance when it comes to taking prescription drugs, imagine a Candida fuelled apocalypse and give some potentially dubious advice about how to deal with a 'situationship'. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today with 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
14/02/23·46m 1s

Ep 120. Pube on a plate

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Laura talks about the horror of her discovery over a pubic hair in her chips from a local take away and Vic confesses to not having an issue with strangers bodily hair in her food like the true skank she is. They have some clarity of barbie bum tying up the loose ends surrounding shitting with no hole and how one lucky girl lost her virginity in a sexy foursome that leaves her all these years on still gagging for more.  This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
07/02/23·45m 17s

Ep 119. All arse no hole

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Laura describes the exact moment she carelessly tickles a strange man's ear with her free and wild tit on a water slide and Vic talks cum sounds radiating the walls of her spin class. They get the confession of a woman who enjoyed a threesome with a couple (throuple) and they are hungry for more because their social awkwardness would only leave the sexual encounter desperately cringe. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
31/01/23·40m 46s

Ep 118. Dildos at the dump

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Laura & Vic explore the logistics of recycling old sex toys, reveal what massive coffee snobs they are and chat about the journey to finding body acceptance. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
24/01/23·42m 1s

Ep. 117 Slags R Us

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic takes a trip down memory lane where an old flame forwards her a letter she has sent to him while they dated as teens as she recants her passive aggressive tone and the special minge stone she has passed onto him for safe keeping. They have a story from yet another horny dad getting a bit too carried away with the porno sky store ordering while mums away for the weekend and how Laura celebrates 21 years of being with Steve with a rage fuelled voice message for locking her out the house. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
17/01/23·43m 31s

Ep 116. The House Shitter

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura talk monogamy, house shitting and the mums of this world who are prepared to phish out a condom stuck up their daughters friends minge. They read a story that should put anyone off the idea of every doing drugs and why it's alright to just acknowledge that sometimes shit happens. We all make mistakes and they can be more about a learning curve than they are about punishing ourselves over something that can't be changed. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
10/01/23·51m 38s

Ep. 115 Bum bomb

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Laura & Vic discuss their new year resolutions for 2023, question how a WW11 bomb ended up an 88 year old mans back passage, and discuss the wild abandon of Mums nights out. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/noholes and get on your way to being your best self. Get started today and enjoy 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
03/01/23·40m 16s

Ep 114. 2022 Round up!

This week's episode of NHB looks back at some of the gems from 2022 - what a year it's been! Keep sending in your stories to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com and follow us on Insta. Back next week with a bang. Happy New YEAR! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
27/12/22·38m 14s

Ep 113. I wish my minge looked like yours

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura get ready for the festive season of Christmas with bitching about their husbands and children. They receive a story of how a sleeping piss can leave a carpet smelling for weeks and a couple of tidy ups about sex and foot fetishism. They end by thanking the loyal wonderful listeners of this podcast who have made 2022 hilariously brilliant. See you in 2023. Keep sending in your stories to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find them on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
20/12/22·49m 9s

Ep 112. Sleeve on the minge

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura discuss post night out shenanigans where Laura exposed herself to a London highstreet and Vic sexually aroused by Laura's aerolas as well as being so shit faced she did a slut drop in the middle of a restaurant to an unsuspecting table of people trying to eat their food. They have some tidy up time from the pant sniffing story and a word to the wise - when you put your house on the market be very careful who you allow to view your home. Keep sending in your stories to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
13/12/22·44m 20s

Ep. 109 Let the pee flow, let the poo go

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura unpack the shoe trauma of a Hobbs brogue in London after Laura's unfortunate decision to go into the big smoke choosing style over comfort. They promise to put up a poll on Instagram asking the question.... do your husband sniff your used knickers? And they give a massive round of applause to the mum who managed the anxiety shat in the kids nappy. Keep sending in your stories to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
06/12/22·49m 2s

108. Big Bulbous Minge

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura talk periods, people pleasing and carpal tunnel. They get a story from yet another one night stand confession that'll leave you wondering did the cat ever make it back home? We also get a voice note confirming the fact kids really are so weird in what they choose use as a comfort when they miss their parents. Keep sending in your stories to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
29/11/22·51m 8s

Ep 107. Turd baguette

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura discuss the challenges of balancing life as a parent and sexy time. Vic escaped for a weekend of passion and Laura managed to break her glasses in the heat of the moment. They receive to date the funniest confession to date and urge anyone who can top this absolutely incredibly hilarious one night stand story. Keep sending in your stories to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
22/11/22·48m 43s

EP 106. The Exorcism

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura discuss horny goat weed and why Vic hasn't got it in her to get down and dirty in the living room with the lights on while Laura confesses to the sound she makes at point of climax and its not sexy. They read out some interesting stories from being the blow job Queen all the way to the condom litter bug.. It's another week of filth. Keep sending in your stories to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find them on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
15/11/22·44m 56s

Ep. 105 No thanks piss dick

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura talk about a little trip to Brighton they took to watch Laura debut her Talent of stand up comedy as well as her horrifically awkward social anxiety around new people, especially men. Laura barely made it out alive of the bedsheets in which they shared with Vics apocalyptic farts. They discuss open relationships, as well as read out one poor listened misfortune with her hot boss who we shall name piss dick. Keep sending in your stories and confessions to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
08/11/22·55m 7s

Ep 104. Clits up

Ep 104. Clits up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
01/11/22·34m 23s

Ep. 103 Gorgonzola

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura discuss why cats are utterly terrifying and also useful if you're in the market for a beautiful floral arrangement from the local graveyard, or a used butt plug. They reveal the terrifying story of the woman who accidentally delved into a mountain of used condoms hand first and why Vic has a set of rules around sleeping with her, gorgonzola is not welcome. Please keep sending in your amazing stories to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
23/10/22·55m 26s

Ep 102. Releasing the nuggets to Nemo

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura talk about tattoos, including an ASDA bum stamp on one Scottish mum looking for love and why you should never trust the sea, because you're one wave away from exposing your flaps mid dump to a beach full of people. Please keep sending in your stories to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
18/10/22·47m 1s

Ep 101 Squirrel willy

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11/10/22·44m 44s

Ep 100. All hail the nugget

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura celebrate their 100th episode- without mentioning it once because they didn't even realise. They bring back an old favourite feature, "Have you heard?" and chat about the logistics of dogging and the general etiquette around wanking in the dark with strangers in a car park. Please keep sending your stories to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us at noholesbarredpodcast on Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
03/10/22·43m 23s

Ep 99 Death by Dildo

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura talk about how they'd happily be front line and center to a dildo truck crash just to get a front row seat watching rubber dicks flying across the road. They also get a hilarious confession from one poor woman who now knows her dad's had a threesome and why the woman in Belfast doesn't take rejection well. Keep sending in your stories to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
26/09/22·44m 46s

Ep 98. I like a stiff foam

On this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura discuss the logistics of measuring of your own genitals with computer cables, share what ridiculous misdemeanours they got up to in their youth and share why you should never listen to this podcast around children. Find us at www.noholesbarredpodcast.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
13/09/22·35m 9s

Ep 97. Professor of his bumhole

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura arrive slightly later than usual for a Tuesday but dive right into why a woman orgasming via the clit is a load of old bollocks. They also have some feedback with a bit of tidy up time over online chat forums and a story leaving us on tender hooks.... who fingered her in the church hall? Keep sending in your stories and agony aunts to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast. Please continue to review on whatever platform you listen to us on. Thank you Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
06/09/22·34m 24s

Ep. 96 A look back

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura take a little break from recording and have pulled together some of the hilarious stories received over time including one that's never been aired. While they would love to say its because they're taking the time to spend with their children, the reality is they've not organised themselves well enough to record this week. They'll be back next week with the usual bants and filth. Keep sending in your stories to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
29/08/22·33m 16s

Ep 95. Maggot up the minge

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic decides to change things up and share a new article with Laura which could possibly be the best to date. They are asked by a listener if their social anxiety has got worse since Covid, I think you all know the answer to that one and they also give warning to never ever fill your fishy hole with tuna. Please keep sharing your stories and agony aunts to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find them on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast. Please keep reviewing the podcast on whichever platform you listen on. Thank you Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
23/08/22·36m 38s

Ep. 94 Living on the rim

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15/08/22·40m 19s

Ep 93. Lasagne loving

This week on No Holes Barred, Laura & Vic discuss listeners dating disasters, from unsolicited dick pics to skid marks on bedsheets and reveal why lasagne can be fatal if used inappropriately. Follow us on Instagram at @no_holes_barred_podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
09/08/22·40m 31s

Ep.92 Trauma Trump

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura get back to the basics of what this podcast is about - pure escapism with a heavy side order of smut. They asked the listeners on Instagram what you wanted to hear and they had a deafening cry back for more filth. So please, ladies and gents enjoy this episode of indulgent crudity and hilarious stories. Please keep sending in these fabulous stories to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast. Please continue to review the podcast on whatever platform you listen on. It makes a big difference. Thank you Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
02/08/22·43m 51s

Ep. 91 The tale of the fingered bald minge

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura hear one of the funniest voice note confessions to date from a trainee beautician and discuss the art of pooing whilst standing up. They finish on a agony aunt that they believe many other women will relate to. Please keep sending your stories, voice notes, and confessions to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find them on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
26/07/22·51m 38s

Ep 90. A bum note

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura try to tactfully give gentle advice to a exhausted mum that she's probably going to be exhausted for a whole lot longer. They give some home truths to the lady talking about head pushing and celebrate pile, cellulite and being a woman. Keep your stories coming in to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast. Please keep reviewing the podcast on which ever platform you listen to us. It makes a big difference Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
17/07/22·43m 16s

Ep 89. Flighty bitch and miserable cow

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Laura listens to Vics endless tales of woe that even left her husband labelling her a miserable cow. They hear from the brave public toilet pooper who was left caught short with no toilet roll and the lady who is ready for change in her career but hasn't got the first clue what to do. Naturally asking the advice of these two slappers only confirms one thing, they haven't a fucking clue what she should do either. Continue to send in your stories, agony aunts and voice notes to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast. Please continue to rate and review the podcast because it makes these couple of cunts happy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
12/07/22·51m 8s

Ep. 88 A Zepplin bullet

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura talk about the painful truth around bum grapes/hemroids/piles and how vic nearly shat her anal suppositories on a 5 year olds head in the park. In yet another bum heavy week they also read the confession of the girl who went to great lengths to hide her poo and answer an agony aunt of when is the right time to have a baby? Keep those stories, confessions, voices notes and agony aunts coming to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast. Please keep reviewing the podcast on whichever platform you listen to us, it makes a big difference. Thank you Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
05/07/22·54m 26s

Ep 87 I predict a riot

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura discuss the recent news of Americas new ruling regarding abortions and also try to offer advice over contraception in a week of some real girl chat about masturation, the injustice of being female and why lelo need to invent a quieter clit stim. Keep sending your stories and agony aunts to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast. Please continue rating and reviewing the podcast on whatever platform you listen through. Thank you Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
27/06/22·53m 37s

Ep 86. But I'm not bitter

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura read a message from a disgruntled listener and delicately tackle the mature response of how to respond to criticism.... they also throw caution to ANYONE who wishes to remain seated during any public toilet performance as it could lead to an unwelcome surprise. It's another corker of filth. Keep sending in these fabulous stories, agony aunts and maybe skip on the complaints to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast. Please also leave reviews on whatever platform you listen to the podcast to as it makes a huge difference. Thank you Click here https://bit.ly/NoHolesBarred-CHEEX to get a 14-day free trial on CHEEX with code NOHOLES. Promo valid for new customers when selecting the yearly subscription option. Cancel anytime during the trial period. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
20/06/22·43m 11s

Ep 85. Hint of Musk

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura dish out another trigger warning over the continued discussion of abortion after the huge influx of women responding to the open chat from last week that will hopefully continue to help women feel less alone and more included in this taboo women's health topic. They also have some cracking stories from some hilarious horny slags prepared to do anything to have a cheeky wank.  Please keep sharing your stories to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast Click here https://bit.ly/NoHolesBarred-CHEEX to get a 14-day free trial on CHEEX with code NOHOLES. Promo valid for new customers when selecting the yearly subscription option. Cancel anytime during the trial period. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
14/06/22·50m 12s

Ep 84. Pile poppers

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic tells Laura of a woeful start to her birthday with an aggressive pile, diarrhea and sickness along side a cheeky little bit of child tantruming in-between. This week's episode comes with a trigger warning as there is the discussion of abortion and a story from one lovely listener. Please keep sending in your stories, agony aunts and voice notes to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
07/06/22·45m 11s

Ep 83. Piss on the parquet

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30/05/22·59m 52s

EP. 82 Battered sausage minge

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23/05/22·47m 52s

Ep. 81 Shit in a box

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura try to decide which animal they'd like to turn into in a bid to escape trouble and Laura expresses her progress is shunning the magpie. This week is no exception for the utter filthy tones of poo related stories that have been sent in and they send their thoughts to the fainting mum with ibs. Please keep sending in these exceptional stories, agony aunts to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
17/05/22·45m 16s

Ep 80. The million dollar question

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura share some facts about what is takes to be top quality influencers on dubai and why people need to just leave eels alone. The question they would like you to answer is would you let your partner shit on your chest for one million pounds? Please keep sending in your stories and agony aunts to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast Click here https://bit.ly/CHEEX-NoHolesBarred to get a 14-day free trial on CHEEX with the code NOHOLES. Promo valid for new customers when selecting the yearly subscription option. Cancel anytime during the trial period. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
10/05/22·48m 19s

Ep 79. Slags in need

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura talk about what they'd do if they were bummed by aliens and how it gives them the perfect excuse for any future affairs. They have a hysterical voice note that'll make you question if you ever want stew again and a agony aunt that leaves them wondering if they actually just give really shitty advice Click here https://bit.ly/CHEEX-NoHolesBarred to get a 14-day free trial on CHEEX with the code NOHOLES. Promo valid for new customers when selecting the yearly subscription option. Cancel anytime during the trial period. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
03/05/22·47m 31s

Ep 78 Gooch ghosted

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura talk about the dedication of scaling a roof to shit down a chimney and yet another fantastic voice note from one of their loyal followers. They also discuss the complicated process of managing a relationship along with mental health struggles in this week's agony aunt. Keep your stories coming to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram noholesbarredpodcast Click here https://bit.ly/CHEEX-NoHolesBarred to get a 14-day free trial on CHEEX with the code NOHOLES. Promo valid for new customers when selecting the yearly subscription option. Cancel anytime during the trial period. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
25/04/22·1h 3m

Ep 77. Meaty Minge bar

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura get real about female pleasure and the importance of raising young people to know self exploration is good. They also get an update from one of the agony aunts everyone has been eager to hear from. And by the time this episode is through you'll never look at a Mars bar the same again. Keep your stories coming into noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com and find us on Instagram at noholesbarredpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
18/04/22·48m 21s

Ep 76. Edna and her ivory nashers

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11/04/22·55m 32s

Ep. 75 Seaweed anyone?

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04/04/22·49m 30s

Ep 74. Fistual of love

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28/03/22·48m 29s

Ep 72 The twat tumbler

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura discuss the latest news of tumbler glasses lodged in bladders and why they are openly happy to be considered vulgar, talking about the things no one else dares to talk about. They listen to a brilliant confession from one of our dedicated listeners that'll make you gag in sympathy for her, as well as a heartfelt agony aunt. It's another fantastic week. Remember to keep your stories, agony aunts and facts coming. You can send them to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on Instagram noholesbarredpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
22/03/22·49m 35s

Ep 71. The Mash Wanker

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15/03/22·42m 42s

Ep 70. Wear me like a glove puppet

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura cut more than one of the stories Laura has decided to share because of her continued poor judgement over what could potentially get this podcast cancelled. They also talk about by batteries don't belong up holes or why moon cups shouldn't be forgotten. It's another belter of an episode. Don't forget to keep sharing your stories to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or head over to our Instagram page noholesbarredpodcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
08/03/22·40m 58s

Ep. 69 Semen dripping donut

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
01/03/22·46m 6s

Ep 68.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
22/02/22·39m 11s

Ep. 67 Sex wizard

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura talk about the power of sexy underwear, female self pleasure and listen to their first ever voice note from a listener. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
15/02/22·44m 33s

Ep. 66 Middle aged minge

In this week's episode of NHB, Laura & Vic talk middle aged minge algorithms, jizz face creams and the quest to find body confidence. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
08/02/22·50m 21s

Ep 65. Cameron and the packet of quavers

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura reach new depths of depravity when Laura shares a news article that even left Vic questioning if she wanted to be friends with Laura anymore. They also solve an agony aunt that any lazy man who believes parenting is for women should listen to. Keep those stories coming and don't forget to voice note the confessions on our Instagram page @no_holes_barred_podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
01/02/22·45m 0s

Ep. 64 Minge full of dildos

On this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic finally gets round to sending Laura her Christmas present, we learn about the incredible shooting powers of the pelvic floor and Vic shares her fantasy of becoming a full time voiceover artist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
25/01/22·49m 5s

Ep 63. Dr Don'tlittle

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura talk about the different levels their rage has taken them to and how they've reached their peak during pregnancy. They also talk about the dedication it takes to care for the delicate life of a tiny animal and how their future in the veterinary world would probably be very short lived. Be sure to keep sending in your hilarious stories and following their Instagram page. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
18/01/22·46m 32s

Ep. 62

The fart collector Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
11/01/22·42m 30s

Ep 61. Dogging in the Daylight

In this week's episode Vic and Laura bring in the New Year with promises of being more organised and exciting additions to the podcast they're looking forward to starting....Next week. They extensively talking about dogging, the legality of it, if its just a nighttime job or if you could expect to see a man cock in hand in a lay by during the day. They're asking you, the audience to start voice clipping your confessions of weirdness from kinks, to awkward sexual encounters directly to them to step 2022 up a gear. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
04/01/22·48m 2s

Ep 60. Box your beaver

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura struggle to work out what day of the week it is before wishing you a very Merry Christmas. They work out the logistics of energetic bum sex and debate the wonders of human biology allowing a stray onion ring to survive the digestive system. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
28/12/21·38m 51s

Ep. 59 Stubby cocktail sausage

On this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Laura tries to implement some much needed structure to the format of the show, Vic shares her fear of nail extensions and they discuss how to put boundaries in place when your family are dickheads. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
21/12/21·45m 3s

Ep 58. Flighty fawny slags

Candid chat from comedians Laura Belbin and Victoria Emes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
13/12/21·52m 53s

Ep.57 It's a learning curve

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic & Laura discuss their innate lack of business knowledge and ponder how the hell they actually function as a partnership, reveal what to do if you get a WW11 mortar lodged up your bottom and get angry at the inequality between the sexes. Visit our shop at www.noholesbarredpodcast.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
07/12/21·36m 48s

Ep 56. Slug lips

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura unpack the yoga retreat experience of a life time, with free dancing, tit flashing and naked hot tub sessions plus sleeping in a tent. Vic talks Laura through her perfect mindful wank, complete with dirty bedsheets and slug lips and they also officially announce the opening of their shop with a healthy range of sex toys to tickle your minge. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
30/11/21·54m 56s

Narcissistic Nanny

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura discuss narcissistic in laws, the power of CBD and have plenty of LOLs over the next Banksy artwork that involves a used tampon flung drunkenly against a white wall during a romantic pool side fumble. Watch out for next week's episode that involves a very big announcement - it isn't a TV show but it's sure to tickle your bits. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
23/11/21·45m 31s

Ep 54. Mama wants a three course meal

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura openly discuss the complete minefield of parenting and how much unrealistic pressure is put on women to be the perfect mum society demands as well as a throw by throw account of how Vic will no doubt end up with a full blown mental breakdown if her daughter doesn't sleep soon. They also ask the question, what would you rather? Licking an eye ball? Or sucking a toe and share the story of the lady who discovered cheese doesn't agree with her colon. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
16/11/21·54m 36s

Ep 53. The sonic scrubber

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura get their bellybuttons out and compare sizes as they try to decide if they would ever go along with a fetish that included licking someone else's. They also read out a beautiful story from a listener who was inspired by our love of clit chat and the incredible Mrs Hinch to indulge in her first ever experience of a good old fashioned wank. Thank you Sonic Scrubber for reaching all those hard to get areas, including our vaginas. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
09/11/21·46m 23s

Ep 52. Is that a snickers bar?

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura take a tiny little break to enjoy the pleasure of their children's company during half term. Don't worry, you won't miss out on much, as this week's episode is equally as hilarious and filthy discussing their much loved topic of poo. If you manage to get through this episode and still fancy yourself a snickers bar, you're bigger people than them. Next week these slags will be back to their usual antics of agony aunts, stories and facts. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
02/11/21·29m 26s

Ep 51. Mass evacuation

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura touch on the serious subject of mental health and how lonely it can feel, and ask the question... when it's is appropriate to interfere between a badger and cat!?!? They also feel tantalised by the idea of a colonic irrigation, even the mass evacuation part. As always they're bringing you 50 minutes of uneducated, filthy, honest chat about life. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
24/10/21·59m 1s

Ep 50. Trams up the bum

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic realises if her career as an Instagram influencer fails she can always fall back on her keen sense of smell and join a pack of sniffer dogs, Laura shares another insightful psychoanalytic diagnosis for one of our listeners with a Disney fetish and we all learn a valuable lesson about living with your in laws and enduring their scheduled wank time. Follow us on socials @no_holes_barred_podcast or visit www.noholesbarredpodcast.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
19/10/21·47m 31s

Ep 49. Subway footlong

In this week's episode of NHB, Vic & Laura get into the grotty details of what it must feel like to have a turd lodged in your colon for 8 years, how to deal with the information that your geriatric Dad is watching soft porn on your Amazon Prime account and why never to wear a white kaftan on a boat trip. Thank you for continuing to send in some of the most incredible stories and agony aunts of all time - we bloody love you. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
11/10/21·52m 15s

Ep 48. Coochcaine

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura talk about why they hate doing 69ers, and why you should never, ever even think about sitting on someone's face with a full bladder and a battered pelvic floor. Vic has yet another mind-blowing fact about pooning, if you've delved into a little pooning yourself we'd love to hear from you and Laura gets real about what a bitch self comparison is. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
04/10/21·42m 45s

Ep 47. Balloon fun

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred due to some slight technical issues Vic sounds like she got of a plane to Australia, took a load of drugs and recorded from a shack in the outback. Rest assured only some of the above is true.... Vic and Laura try to approach the discussion of how Vic will ask her builder Prostate Patrick to urinate over her back garden and why there is no real straight answer over whether someone should have plastic surgery because everyone's reasons are unique. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
27/09/21·51m 28s

Ep 46. Fanny dildo wrench

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura celebrate all things minge as they discuss gynaecological cancer awareness month. They talk all things fanny health wise and encourage everyone with a vagina to book their smear and share some cringe worthy smear test stories of trapping pubes to disco vaginas. This episode is aiming to empower more women to demand better vaginal health care. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
20/09/21·52m 31s

Ep 45 Apocalypse ready

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Vic and Laura choose the 3 people they'd like to save in a zombie Apocalypse. One of them is ready to repopulate the earth and eat magic mushrooms while the other one is terrified about poisonous berries. They also reveal the exciting news that podcast merchandise is being relaunched with the fanny flannel and willy wipe for starters. Plus asking for all of you lovely lot to share your bloody good smear stories for next week's episode when we'll be dedicating the episode to Gynaecological Cancer Awareness Month while managing to keep it light with plenty of filth. Find all things podcast related at www.noholesbarredpodcast.com and follow us on instagram @no_holes_barred_podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
14/09/21·56m 3s

The whispering eye

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred Victoria and Laura discuss and debate the new unofficial, official new term for our vaginas and learn just how uneducated Laura is when it comes to minge terminology. They also reflect on why it's never going to end well to cough up a turd, or shit in your bath, in yet another poo heavy episode of inappropriate laughing and plenty of swearing. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
06/09/21·49m 24s

Ep 43. Clit countdown

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura chat candidly about their lack of productivity, how much they love to deep throat biscuits and discuss the benefits of sobriety. We also learn how lockdown may impair your judgement when it comes to finding a Tinder date, which can result in agreeing to spend an entire week with a gym fanatic wannabe porn star who's obsessed with Sesame Street and Countdown. Please keep sending in your hilarious stories, agony aunts and general chat to us @no_holes_barred_podcast on socials or email noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
30/08/21·50m 34s

Ep. 42 Commiserations to the survival suit

In this weeks' episode of No Holes Barred, Laura and Vic discuss the richly diverse nature of the humble potato, share a hilarious turd mishap in a helicopter and find out why you can never really trust a toilet, even in Austria. Note to every parent out there - never let your kids pack their own lunchbox. You have no idea what they might take in for lunch. Keep sending us your hilarious stories, agony aunts and any questions you may have for us to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or find us on instagram @no_holes_barred_podast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
23/08/21·48m 11s

Ep. 41 The Phallus Tree

In this week's episode of No Hole's Barred, Vic and Laura discover the supernatural secret to keeping a disembodied member alive with a diet of oats and grains, hear back from a previous agony aunt contributor with a much needed relationship update and celebrate the wonderful man who waffle stomped his lovers nutty deposit down the plug hole to finishing getting his end away. As always, if you want to contribute to the podcast with a story, agony aunt question or life quandry, you can email us at noholesbarpodcast@gmail.com and follow us on instagram @no_holes_barred_podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
16/08/21·46m 2s

Ep. 40 Tidy up time

In this weeks episode of No Holes Barred, Laura and Vic have a little tidy up time and deliver some helpful updates for our listeners previous quandaries - like how to dispose of that floating torpedo that just won't flush and how to stay alert for a whole weekend with a trip to the Drs. We also address the sheer trauma of receiving an accidental sweep from your 18 month old and how to get into pegging. Please keep sending your stories/agony aunt questions and any other business to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com and follow us on instagram at @noholesbarredpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
09/08/21·56m 38s

Ep. 39 Waffle stomper

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic shocks Laura with some ghostly facts involving one celebrity getting sucked off by the afterlife and another one being penetrated by the Holy spirit himself. We also learn that soiling the sheets at your mates house never ends well and offer some more dubious relationship advice to one of our listeners. If you'd like to feature on the podcast please email your stories, agony aunts and any questions for Laura & Vic to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com You can also DM our instgram page at @noholesbarredpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
02/08/21·54m 7s

Ep. 38 Bulletproof clit

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura discuss the complex nature of social anxiety and how it manifests for them both in awkward exchanges with strangers - one of them spurts verbal diarrhoea and the other one clams up like a dry vagina - can you guess who does what? They also conclude that parenting a newborn is an utter shitshow and question why that minor detail is overlooked. Please keep sending in your stories to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com and follow us on instagram at @noholesbarredpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
26/07/21·53m 10s

Ep. 37 Girls just wanna have fun (with any object they can get their hands on)

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura discover the many uses for an electric toothbrush, how to keep the romance alive in your relationship and the best way to flush a turd down the plug hole of a sink. If you'd like to contribute a story, agony aunt question or anything else for Vic and Laura to ponder, email us at noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com or DM us on our instagram page, Noholesbarred. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
19/07/21·55m 46s

Casper the friendly c**t

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura discuss the mysterious phenomena of ghost minge, discover the incredible feline resistant qualities of a durex and find out that Laura is actually a 98 year old Nana living in a 37 year olds body. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
12/07/21·49m 46s

Ep. 35 Hitting that A spot

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura go on a vaginal voyage to discover their A spots, discuss the many reasons why not to finger a dry bum hole and find out that accidentally applying hand sanitiser to your fanny never ends well. For a chance to feature on the show, remember to email your stories, agony aunt questions and any other dirty business to nolesbarredpodcast@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
04/07/21·47m 4s

Ep. 34 Tenting

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, we uncover Laura and Vic's complete lack of expertise and knowledge about everything, how to prevent anal worms with scotch tape and discover the incredible capacity of an aroused vagina. If you've loved today's episode, and indeed the rest of the podcast why not go vote for us in the British Podcast Awards at https://britishpodcastawards.com/vote For a chance to feature on the show, remember to email your stories, agony aunt questions and any other dirty business to nolesbarredpodcast@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
28/06/21·47m 24s

Ep 33. Lemon Tikka Pussy Masala with a side of pubes

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Laura and Vic discuss how to truly attract a mate with a good old fashion bit of minge throat and why you should never finger a girl before making your Dad dinner. For a chance to feature on the show, please send in your agony aunt questions, dirty rotten stories and any other business to noholesbarredpodcast@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
21/06/21·50m 58s

Ep. 32 The piss diaries

Back with a bang, in this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Laura and Vic pick up right where they left off discussing their favourite subjects - vaginas and bumholes! We get to hear Vic's extensive list of celebrity mates as she struggles to remember the very significant difference between a lap and a lip, discover why it's not always a good idea to live exclusively in the moment when you're the host of a podcast and discover how to piss in the back of a jeep on safari. We've missed you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
14/06/21·1h 0m

Episode.31 Furry Furverts

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Laura and Victoria delve into the furry forest adventures of woodland creatures, discover the many exotic uses of a CD and learn that transporting your sex aids with your boss in tow is not the best career move. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
02/02/21·49m 0s

Ep. 30 Billy goat gruff

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Laura and Victoria discuss the hidden sex appeal of a goats eyelid, reveal how to survive a traffic jam on the M25 with little more than a Lakeland bag and tackle the burning question, does size really matter? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
26/01/21·51m 48s

Ep. 29 You are AdoraBALLS

In this week's episode we address an incredibly important issue and make (yet another) public apology, we admire the whittling skills of our long lost phallus loving ancestors and discover how Laura nurses Steve's distressed derriere back to health Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
19/01/21·51m 13s

Ep. 28 A truffle butter apology

In this week's episode we learn the horrifying truth about truffle butter and ruin yet another delicious food source, we discuss the practicalities of waxing your plums and Vic lets us in on her secret to being the perfect house guest. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
12/01/21·39m 47s

Ep. 27 The curious incident of the dog in the suitcase

In this week's episode we discover Victoria and Laura's worst ever jobs and try to decide who needs professional help more - Vic for her deep seated pessimistic melancholy or Laura for her penchant for death and her questionable upbringing. We also learn the fishy consequences of inappropriately using a waste paper bin for the disposal of used contraception. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
05/01/21·50m 20s

Ep. 26 The accidental arctic bum roll

In this week's episode we learn about how to quickly dispose of any unwanted toilet dwellers with the help of a cup and a sock, Victoria reveals her untold secret about the time she torpedoed a toilet seat at a Year 7 party and we look back at the utter shitshow of 2020 and give thanks to NHB and all it has brought to our lives. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
29/12/20·46m 39s

Ep. 25 The Christmas special 2020 - A barrel of laughs (and other gifts under a fiver)

In this week's episode, we pick apart our plans for the Christmas festivities, Victoria roasts Laura over her questionable holiday family tradition of 'the barrel', we rejoice the tiny durex loving Chihuahua for raiding the bins and surviving its boxing day contents and we're reminded why it's never a good idea to film a sexy present unwrapping with your partner using the family video camera. Merry Christmas slags! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
22/12/20·54m 18s

Sun, sand and a bucket full of slop

In this week's episode we discuss Laura's questionable medical knowledge when it comes to assessing sick kids, delve into how Victoria is nailing the up and coming fashion trend of how to look like the biggest nerd on a bicycle, plus we try to understand the logistics of copping a squat over a kids bucket and why wearing cream trousers is a recipe for disaster. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
15/12/20·51m 7s

Skydiving with Sonas

In this week's episode we shout for joy and jubilation as Victoria successfully lands herself in a clitilating afternoon sonas sesh that even left the cat sniffing around Rob's balls. We, and one of our unfortunate listeners, find ourselves literally torn over whether a slip in the shower was really an accident or just a poorly disguised attempt at some solo bum fun. We also reveal the exciting news that our merchandise has expanded to cater for the todger owners amongst you and that NHB Willy Wipes are now on sale Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
08/12/20·53m 10s

Vaginal Intruder

In this week's episode we discuss the excitement of launching our very own line of merchandise, why moon cups sound utterly terrifying as Vic puts Laura off the idea for life and why a stressed vagina can clam up like a flytrap when in a hostile environment (like your mates pair of pants) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
01/12/20·47m 41s

The Duracell Pink Sausage Wand

In this weeks episode we discuss why it's important to find your clit and give it a good old rub down, why Laura's dildo is probably floating around the ocean, interrogating innocent sea turtles and how pears make for quite a wonderful butt plug.. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
24/11/20·40m 41s

Pregnancy and "C.R.A.P" with Special Guest, Rosie Ramsey

In this week's episode we have the absolute pleasure of welcoming Rosie Ramsey on to have a little chat about pregnancy, sex and fat aerolas. We discuss how the long arm of a godly forearm is enough to make anyone orgasm on the spot as we celebrate our 20th Episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
17/11/20·1h 1m

Chunky Knit Fanny Toupee

In this week's episode we enjoy a minge-heavy chat about slugs, we contemplate how much cum you'd need to consume in order to suffer explosive diarrhoea and start our fanny flannel selling business plans... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
10/11/20·44m 12s

The Skincident of the Penis Fly Trap

In this weeks episode we go back to the basics: fun discussions about foreskin gnashers, hearing how Vic narrowly avoided a bumming at a Swinger's party and are left wondering.... who is the secret pissy vagina tissue stuffer? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
03/11/20·43m 46s

When Jackie met Joker

In this week's episode we unravel the deeply complex realities of body confidence. We discuss all the ways we awkwardly accept compliments and why fashion magazines are the devil. The biggest question left unanswered is ... would Victoria actually wish to wake up and look like Pamela Anderson?.....Malteser, anyone?? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
27/10/20·56m 51s

Go home, Coitus

In this week's episode we unpack the statistics of how kids really do a total number on your sex drive. We wonder if Laura's parenting highs and lows are enough to question her ability as a mother and leave you all wondering...how good was that guy's performances toddler to give such a heartfelt round of applause?? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
20/10/20·50m 34s

Parenting with Isma Almas

Is this week's episode we tackle the mind blowing, exhausting world of parenting and how we're all just waiting for a time when they become less of an arsehole... whether that will ever happen or not. We also enjoy a chat with the incredibly funny and honest Isma Almas and take on the statistic of whether 91% of parents actually do truthfully feel their life started the day they welcomed their scream machines onto this planet!?!? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
12/10/20·1h 3m

Hairy Mary

In this weeks podcast we look into the fascinating world of body hair and how much women love to wax, shave and bleach it. This includes the unfortunate realities of pubey back leg hair, Roland the bum rat and plucking nipples. The question we hope to leave on the tips of your tongue is.... how do you milk a goose!?!?! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
05/10/20·56m 22s

A&E confessions with Shannon Kelly White

In this weeks episode we have the absolute pleasure of being joined by Shannon from @shannonskitchenaustralia as she shares with us the realities of shoving a catheter up a tiny piss hole and what a broken penis looks like. We also get to enjoy the delights of Salmon up the vagina, one not to be missed...not to mention one that might put you off fish for life. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
28/09/20·50m 53s

Clit Stim Slags

In this weeks episode we discuss the rich, divine and utterly beautiful reality of masterbation and why it's about time we owned it. Victoria shares some interesting statistics including being the owner of 5 dildos whilst Laura unravels her obscure sexual turn ons.... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
21/09/20·49m 12s

Dick Pics and Spaghetti Bolognese with Layla at lalalaletmeexplain

In this episode we kick start Series 2 with an honest chat with Layla from lalalaletmeexplain about the complexities of feeling the "ick" and the reality of dating dickhead men.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
13/09/20·52m 6s

The Fanny Farter of Doom

In this episode we round up Series One with a little story about that time Laura ran across a beach like Miss Trunchball trying not to poo herself, why you should never go on fairground rides whilst on your period and wonder .... how far up her hoof did that bike pole go!?!?! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
31/08/20·43m 50s

The Vulva Diaries

In this weeks episode we discuss the misfortune of losing your virginity to a bike, how many of us truly know our Vulvas and getting inventive with ham and a toilet roll... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
23/08/20·48m 57s

The Witchetty Grub

In this weeks episode we discover that it is in fact possible for an erect man to be turned into a Witchetty Grub with a little help from cling film, how we're all a bunch of proud wankers and leave you all questioning .... how good of a recreation of Vic's pubey fanny can Laura manage using only her Son's Play-Doh? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
17/08/20·54m 59s

The Fanny Yarn Knitters

In this week's episode we give thanks to to the male listeners who appreciate our open mouthed filth, question what is considered too many spunky tissues in a pillow protector and wonder how many scarves could be made from a ball of yarn shoved up your minge? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
11/08/20·40m 46s

The Adventures of Ganjaman and his Vagina

In this weeks episode we discuss the reality of preparing a bumhole for a good old fashioned fisting, playing down a latex vagina delivered via royal mail and why you shouldn't listen to this podcast whilst trying to pay for your McDonalds drive thru.. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
04/08/20·44m 40s

Have you heard of....hobbling?

In this week’s episode we discuss the lack of personality of Steve’s penis, create a new CBeebies' series featuring a couple of familiar hooded figures and pose the question, how many times, exactly, can we say we say the word 'c**t?' Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
26/07/20·34m 59s

Bernard and His Matthews

In this episode we explore the libido destroying effects of having children, discuss the unexpected joy of a badly timed pan fart and pose the question “who is the real turkey todger king?”   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
20/07/20·38m 40s

Arnus

In this episode we explore penis picking on the tube followed by some of the most impressive root vegetables that people have managed to fit up their anuses along with some of the fantastic reasonings as how they got there.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
13/07/20·40m 56s

Love at First Queef

In this episode we explore the fine art of vaginal queefing, discover Laura’s secret snack fetish and pose the question “how would Ray Mears navigate a snapped banjo string?” Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
06/07/20·37m 48s

Mum's Apple Pie

In this episode we explore the reality of our children being total cunts and pose the question "do women's vaginas really smell like Mum's apple pie"? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
26/06/20·44m 42s
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