The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Podcast

There are certain areas in life where trying harder only makes things worse. Trying to prove how likable and confident you are only makes you feel more unlikable and less confident. Trying to make someone love you only makes you feel more unlovable. The solution to this conundrum is what’s known as “The Backwards Law”. Simply put, The Backwards law states that desiring a positive experience is itself a negative experience, while accepting a negative experience is a positive experience. In this episode, Drew and I talk about five areas of life where doing less can actually reap massive benefits. Enjoy. Get your first month of Shopify for only $1 at https://shopify.com/idgaf Use the code IDGAF to get 20% off your one-time purchase of supplements at https://LiveMomentous.com Sign up for Your Next Breakthrough, a weekly newsletter that will make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

Is everything going to hell in a handcart because of smartphones and social media? In this episode, I sit down with NYU professor and bestselling author Jonathan Haidt to tackle this burning question. Dr. Haidt makes a compelling case that our addiction to these devices is wreaking havoc on society, from mental health crises to political turmoil. But is it really all the smartphone’s fault? I'm not so sure it's quite that simple, so I wanted to dive deeper into the nuances. We get into the nitty-gritty and I challenge some of Haidt’s claims, exploring questions like, why do these issues seem to hit the English-speaking world the hardest? Is this another moral panic, or is this time really different? We also discuss the differences in how smartphones affect various demographics and cultures, and why understanding these distinctions is crucial. Plus, we explore Jonathan’s practical and highly sensible recommendations for parents, educators, and policymakers. Whether you’re a skeptic or a die-hard believer, this episode will make you rethink your relationship with the technology in our pockets. Let's do this. Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @MUDWTR by going to ⁠mudwtr.com/IDGAF⁠ #mudwtrpod Get 10% off your first month of therapy at BetterHelp.com/IDGAF

Over the past 5 years, I’ve completely changed my relationship to my health. Prior to that, I was overweight, pre-diabetic, and having chest pains in my mid-30s. I thought maybe eating a salad once a week and going for a run every now then would take care of it. I was wrong. Since then, I’ve lost 60 pounds (~30kg). I now enjoy exercising regularly and I eat healthy and nutritious foods. My daily life is much more physically active and I get way better sleep. I’m happy with my health now—but it took a long time to get here. I’m not going to share a bunch of workout routines or complicated diets. What worked for me might not work for you. But I can share what I went through to get here in the hopes that you, too, might change how you think about your health and take it more seriously. Because at the end of the day, your health is definitely something you should give a f*ck about. Use the code IDGAF to get 20% off your first one-time purchase of supplements at livemomentous.com

Drew Binsky is a fearless traveler who's seen it all. From chatting with North Koreans in their homeland to dodging bombings in Somalia and volunteering in Syria in the middle of a civil war, Drew's adventures are nothing short of incredible. He's been to every country in the world, witnessing the most dangerous places and surviving a few close calls. Yet, his experiences have led him to a surprising conclusion: most people, most of the time, are good. Even in the direst circumstances, Drew finds that human resilience can prevail. In our conversation, Drew shares why he's drawn to war zones and failed states, revealing the profound lessons he's learned from them. We discuss why you should never judge a country by the news you hear about it, how the most impactful trips are often the most challenging, and where to find the friendliest people on Earth. Drew also offers his top travel tips on spontaneity, connecting with locals, and what he looks for on his travel adventures. It's a deep dive into the heart of travel and human nature that might just inspire you to see the world a little differently. Get 10% your first month of therapy at betterhelp.com/idgaf Let Rocket Money cancel your unwanted subscriptions at RocketMoney.com/idgaf

A lot of people treat goals like some kind of sacred self-improvement law, where the most important thing you can do is set and achieve your goals. But goals are simply tools we use to point us in the right direction. Your goals should serve you—and so you shouldn’t be a slave to some arbitrary goal you set when it’s no longer serving you. So how do you know when a goal is no longer pushing you in the right direction? In this episode, I talk about why I gave up a pretty big goal I set at the beginning of the year. I discuss what I think are the criteria you should use when deciding whether to give up on a goal or stick it out. We also discuss what we learned from the goals survey we did for podcast viewers and listeners. How many stuck with their goals and how many have moved on? What are the most effective tactics people used to stick to their goals? What are the most important lessons they learned about their goals and themselves? Check it out. Get your first month of Shopify for $1 at shopify.com/idgaf Get 10% off your first order of Mitopure from Timeline at timeline.com/idgaf

After a catastrophic parachuting accident ended his military career in the British special forces, Dean Stott couldn't just retire to a quiet life. Instead, he decided to shatter boundaries in entirely new fields. These days, when Dean isn't prepping to beat another world record, like a 14,000-mile bike ride in less than 100 days, he's jet-setting around the world rescuing civilians and diplomats alike from war zones. In this episode, Dean shares his unique approach to overcoming adversity, managing risk, and staying mentally tough in the most challenging situations. We explore his fascinating experiences from war-torn countries to royal security and the psychological benefits of meticulous planning and mission-driven thinking. Dean also offers a glimpse into how he balances extreme challenges with a grounded personal life. Enjoy. Get up to 84% off and 4 extra months free when you sign up for a VPN with SurfShark at ⁠https://surfshark.deals/subtleart⁠ Get 10% off your first month of therapy at BetterHelp by visiting ⁠https://betterhelp.com/idgaf⁠ Use code IDGAF to Get 20% off your first one-time purchase of supplements at ⁠https://livemomentous.com

Have you ever wondered why, despite everything seemingly going well, you still feel a nagging sense of dissatisfaction? Well, you’re not alone. This is actually a fascinating psychological phenomenon I call "The Blue Dot Effect". It’s all about how our brains can trick us into seeing problems and negativity even when everything around us is getting better. Join me and Drew as we unpack this curious effect and explore how it impacts our everyday lives. From the way we perceive our personal achievements to our overall happiness, the Blue Dot Effect plays a sneaky role in shaping our mindset. Let's dig right in. Get one month of Shopify for $1: ⁠https://shopify.com/idgaf⁠ Use code IDGAF to get 10% off your first order at Timeline: ⁠https://timeline.com/IDGAF⁠ Tell me what you think of the pod: ⁠https://markmanson.net/tellme⁠

I’ve often wondered if self-discipline is just a way of turning bad addictions into healthy ones. After all, addictions of all kinds are really just an attempt to numb and distract ourselves from facing uncomfortable feelings. Can’t the same be said for healthy behaviors once they reach a level of compulsion? I brought Rich Roll on the pod to discuss this idea because, well, he’s a recovered alcoholic who turned into an ultra-endurance athlete in his 40s. Rich is no stranger to reinventing himself, repeatedly leveraging his flaws into virtues. We talk about the value of pain as a catalyst for change, the idea that addiction is a spectrum that doesn’t just involve substances, terrible breakups, finding a deeper spirituality, lessons from Rich’s financial struggles, his career running a top podcast, and much, much more. Use the code IDGAF to get 20% off your one-time order at ⁠https://livemomentous.com/⁠ Get rid of unwanted subscriptions by signing up for Rocket Money at ⁠https://rocketmoney.com/idgaf⁠ Take my podcast survey ⁠https://markmanson.net/tellme⁠

The way you think about the world and your place in it can have a huge impact on your life. And yet, when it comes to evaluating the way we think, we’re rarely able to smell our own bullshit. So today, Drew and I break down five different mindsets you can adopt to live a more examined, successful life. This requires you to reject many of the mindless beliefs you’ve been force fed your entire life. Let’s do it. Get one month of Shopify for $1 at ⁠https://shopify.com/idgaf⁠ Use code IDGAF for 10% off your health services at ⁠https://MarekHealth.com/idgaf⁠

Let's be honest: the modern dating landscape is a shit show. From declining marriage rates and rising infidelity to the nightmare of using dating apps—it's brutal out there. With all these supposedly "easy" ways to meet new people, why are the people who want long-term, stable relationships so fed up with the dating world? I invited dating and relationships coach Sadia Khan on the pod to discuss how the skills we use to excel in modern dating often sabotage long-term happiness. Sadia brings a refreshing, thought-provoking perspective to the conversation that will help you navigate the complexities of today's dating world. We dive into the role of self-esteem in successful relationships, the pitfalls of modern dating advice, and the skewed expectations shaped by social media, dating apps, and pornography. Enjoy. Get 10% off your first order of Mitopure at ⁠timeline.com/idgaf⁠ Get 3 extra months on your SurfShark VPN subscription at ⁠surfshark.deals/SubtleArt⁠ Get 10% off your first month of therapy at ⁠betterhelp.com/idgaf⁠

So many people seem to be obsessed with feeling good all the time. They’re always looking for “hacks” to an easier, happier life. But what if the easy way actually makes it harder to have a life full of meaning and purpose? Today, Drew and I take on the ugly truths that give life its beauty. Some of these might be a little hard to stomach at first. But if you see them through, you might be surprised at what’s on the other side. Get a free one-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 and 5 AG1 Travel Packs: ⁠drinkag1.com/idgaf⁠ Get one month free at ⁠listening.com/idgaf⁠ Get 10% off at Marek Health at ⁠marekhealth.com/idgaf⁠

In an era where “quiet quitting” and “self-care” obsessions seem to be all the rage, there’s a huge opportunity to set yourself apart from everyone else—and it’s not as hard as you might think. Codie Sanchez set herself apart by buying “boring businesses” and turning her venture into a multi-million dollar enterprise. But for Codie, it’s about so much more than the money. Her simple mantra is, “question everything”, and it has given her a unique perspective on life, relationships, and happiness, which we explore here in this week’s pod. This was a fun interview, check it out. Get 20% off + free shipping at ⁠manscaped.com⁠ using the promo code IDGAF Get a one-month trial of Shopify for just $1 at ⁠shopify.com/idgaf⁠

A week ago, we hit 2M subs on YouTube and 10M podcast downloads, and I promised a special Q&A episode of the pod—which turned out to be more fun than I expected. Jump in on this celebratory episode, where I rapid fire through some of the most interesting questions sent in by you guys. Get all the goodness with AG1, if you use this link, they'll throw in a free one-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 and 5 AG1 Travel Packs: https://drinkag1.com/idgaf Try a free sample pack with any drink mix purchase, using my link: https://drinklmnt.com/idgaf

There’s an ancient philosophy that could actually help you give fewer f*cks, and unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard of it. Stoicism has been helping people manage their stress and anxiety for thousands of years and today, it’s more relevant than ever. @ryanholiday is the New York Times Bestselling author of multiple books on Stoicism. He believes that Stoicism is the framework that can help you be a normal person in an increasingly crazy world. Today’s episode dives into the life-altering benefits of following a philosophy that encourages you to focus on what you can control, and fuck the rest. Get 10% off BetterHelp by signing up via my link: ⁠https://www.betterhelp.com/markmanson⁠ And get your nutritional goodness with AG1 using my link: ⁠https://drinkag1.com/idgaf⁠ And of course, check out The Tim Ferris Show here, available on all podcasting platforms: ⁠https://tim.blog/podcast/⁠

I just heard about the “bed rotting” trend on social media and I think I need a minute. Because if the kids think staying in bed all day eating pizza and doom scrolling is a form of rejuvenation then I’m calling bullshit on self-care. Today’s episode is a fun one. Drew and I have a long list of common self-improvement practices and I’m scoring them as overrated or underrated or, “it depends.” Try out Shopify for just $1 for the month by signing up via my link: ⁠https://shopify.com/idgaf⁠ Get 15% when you shop at ⁠oneskin.co⁠ using my code: IDGAF Get one month free at ⁠Listening.com⁠ using my link ⁠listening.com/IDGAF⁠

If the story of humanity is about loss, privation, suffering, and resilience, why are kids having nervous breakdowns about bad grades? In today’s episode, I talked to Abigail Shrier about what parents and mental health experts are inadvertently doing to rob young people of the resilience and grit that past generations had. It’s a spicy one. Enjoy. Get 50% off your first Factor Meals box and 20% off the next box using my link ⁠https://factormeals.com/idgaf50⁠ And use my code “IDGAF” for 20% off + free shipping when you purchase online from ⁠https://manscaped.com⁠

Making friends is hard, and unfortunately, as you get older, it gets harder. In this episode, we look at research behind friendships, plus the complicating factors people experience in making new friends as they get older. And for anyone struggling with their social lives, we share practical tips on how to meet and keep new friends. Enjoy and, good luck out there.

Social media messes with our expectations because it convinces us that we should be doing everything, everywhere, all at once. But the reality is that we should focus on doing one or two things extremely well, in one place, consistently over a long period of time. Today on the pod, I talk to Noah Kagan, multi-millionaire and multi-business owner, about the type of consistency and habits that lead to wealth. Noah created his own wealth out of self-belief, learning from failing and being careful with what he gives a fuck about. Noah’s story is compelling as he shares how he found success over decades, by never ceasing to try. If you’re looking for some raw talk to get you motivated to go out and do cool shit, this is the episode to sink your energy into. Enjoy. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at: ⁠https://shopify.com/idgaf⁠ Get 15% off your first order of OneSkin by using checkout code IDGAF at ⁠oneskin.co⁠

I came across some mildly terrifying statistics on loneliness and wanted to figure out what was going on. In this episode Drew and I break down three paradoxes we're calling “The Three Paradoxes of Modern Loneliness” and they are as follows: We are more connected than ever, yet loneliness is at an all-time high The more urbanized our lifestyles become, the lonelier we become Despite being more social, young people are becoming lonelier than older people Join us as we dig into the data and discuss why this all might be happening and what we can do about it. Check it out.

What if there was a way accomplish meaningful work—without the associated relationship breakdowns or stress? What if “making an impact” didn’t require massive amounts of energy or sacrifice? What if you could get more done by doing less? In this episode, I talk to Cal Newport about how knowledge work has got it all wrong. We discuss the subtle dangers of remote/digital work and the key to avoiding burnout, all while still being able to grind on the things you love. If you’re a stressed out, overworked remote worker, this one is for you. Get a one-month Shopify trial for $1: ⁠shopify.com/idgaf

What if the answer isn’t to do more? What if the answer is to want less? I’ve always believed that subtracting from your life can produce better results than trying to add something. Generally, quitting a bad habit, or a bad mindset, or anything distracting, will have a bigger impact on your life than learning more. This episode covers a few things I think we should stop doing to live a better life. Enjoy. Get 10% your first month of therapy at ⁠betterhelp.com/idgaf

Successful people talk a lot about what made them successful. But they're rarely asked about all the things that went wrong. What about all of the things that failed? Or all the times they got fired? Embarrassed themselves? Spent time in jobs that were just plain weird or awful? No one asks this stuff. Until now of course. In this episode, I talk to my friend Derek Sivers about the weird and awful jobs that eventually led him to become a millionaire. From circus ringleader to founder of one the most successful music start-ups of our time, this guy has a story to tell. Derek Sivers is the author of four books, founder of CD Baby which he sold for $22 million (then gave most of it away), and just an all-around badass.

The most important truths in life are the ones we don’t like to hear. In fact, I managed to make an entire career out of sharing these types of truths because the stuff we don’t like hearing is often what we need to hear the most. In this episode I have a lot of fun going through—one-by-one—six nuggets of wisdom, designed to make us all less awful humans. So saddle up bitches, I’m here to break hearts today. Get your nutritional goodness with AG1 using my link: ⁠https://drinkag1.com/idgaf⁠ And get a whopping 50% off with Factor Meals using my link: ⁠https://factormeals.com/idgaf50⁠

Could it be that today’s increased awareness about emotions, and our obsession with mental health issues, are actually causing more mental health issues? More people are doing therapy, but are those people potentially doing it wrong? Therapist, counselor, and author Lori Gottlieb says that a lot of our culture’s approach to mental health is wrong. In today’s podcast, we discuss what it takes to do therapy effectively. We discuss the prevalence of mental health content online and why that may be a bad thing. We talk about how people’s misunderstandings of vulnerability and boundaries can backfire. And we get into the effect social media might be having on this. Enjoy. Signup with Rocket Money and start for free: ⁠https://rocketmoney.com/idgaf

We all overestimate how much you have to do to actually be happy. But what if I told you that achieving happiness is much simpler than you think? That’s right, the smallest lifestyle changes can have the most unexpected knock-on effects towards positive change. It’s actually quite incredible once you experience it. In today’s episode of the pod, we delve into the 3 of the most important questions that you can ask yourself in determining your own levels of happiness. These are questions worth asking. Make me happy by liking and reviewing the episode. Make someone else happy by sharing it with them. Get 10% off your first month with BetterHelp at: ⁠https://betterhelp.com/idgaf

What do you do when trying to improve your life makes you feel worse? What if trying to be better comes across as ‘try-hard’? What if setting more goals is just your way of avoiding your own bullshit? This is the topic of discussion in today’s episode, “The Self-Improvement Paradox”—or in other words, why sometimes trying to be better makes you feel worse. It turns out improving yourself is nuanced and complicated. Who would have thought? Check it out.

Imagine if you could sit down with one of the world’s leading happiness researchers and ask her, one by one, what actually makes people happier and what doesn’t? Well, that’s basically what I did. In this episode, Sonja and I get deep into the subject of happiness. One by one, we conclude which of life’s simple and not-so-simple pleasures are underrated or overrated. Some of the answers will definitely surprise you. Do yourself a favor—watch, like, and share the happiness.

If you’ve ever been stuck working some BS desk job thinking there’s got to be more to life, then you were right. There’s travel. High-quality, intentional travel is one of the most transformational experiences a person can have. Without a doubt, my 10 years living abroad made me more confident, more self-assured, and ultimately more educated about the world and the people in it. It also informed a lot of the philosophy that I've written about over the past 10 years—the counterintuitive approach that so many people have come to love. This episode dives into the key takeaways I got from my years of traveling. I can’t be sure, but I think they might inspire you as much as they have me. Enjoy. Get started with BetterHelp today and receive 10% off your first month when you use my link ⁠https://betterhelp.com/idgaf

People are becoming increasingly lonely and are unable to relate to one another. Yet we have more access to more people than ever before. What's going on? Is it technology? Is social media replacing our sense of community with the empty calories of the sweet, sweet For You feed? Or maybe it’s the deterioration of the nuclear family — fewer kids are being born and being raised by fewer parents. Or is it the lack of religion in public life? Or the geographic exodus from small towns and communities towards big anonymous cities? Or the economic inequality and complete loss of work/life balance? These are questions that I, and renowned journalist and author David Brooks, unpack together as we nose dive into the social and emotional disconnect of millions of people. Need lessons on how to talk to the barista making your coffee? Looking to build a better relationship with Gary from across the fence? This episode won’t make you a master of communication overnight, but it’s a fascinating conversation packed with useful insight from beginning to end. Listen to it. David Brooks on Twitter @nytdavidbrooks: https://twitter.com/nytdavidbrooks David Brooks’ column: https://www.nytimes.com/column/david-brooks David's new book “How to Know a Person:” https://www.amazon.com/How-Know-Person-Seeing-Others/dp/059323006X

It’s 2024 and hopefully you haven’t already given up on your goals for the year. Today, we’re going to talk about the best and worst ways to set goals. We’ll talk about the factors that make you more likely to achieve your goals, why you lose motivation by week three, and the most common error everyone makes when deciding to change themselves for the better. We’ll also be sharing some of our personal goal disasters along the way to learn what not to do. We’d also like you to share your goals with us! Details on how to do that are here. Happy New Year.

It’s easy to assume that the hustle culture or “the grind” is all about pain and suffering. But as you’ll learn today, this simply isn’t true. In today’s episode, I’m talking to Ali Abdaal, a former medical doctor turned YouTuber and author of the new book, Feel-Good Productivity. Ali has attracted millions of global followers to his ideas on productivity and working because he’s managed to do what others have not: actually make it fun. It turns out that finding ways to make your work fun doesn’t just make you hate your life less, it actually makes you more productive.

Do you worry that you might be wasting your life? That you’re doing things that don’t feel important? Are you constantly anxious about your to-do list? Is your mind blown that it’s 2024 already?!? This week, I’ve enlisted the help of my friend Oliver Burkeman, author of the bestseller Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, to help us get a handle on using time wisely. In this episode, we’re going to look at how our perception of time shapes our self-image, how it’s often advantageous to choose to be bad at something, why people-pleasing doesn’t actually please people, and a whole lot more. Oliver Burkeman is a renowned journalist and author, known for his unique ability to seamlessly blend philosophy and psychology to bring a fresh and counterintuitive take to classic self-help subjects.

Some of the most important truths in life are found in paradoxes. Paradoxes seem like opposites on the surface, but once you look deeper beneath what are seeming contradictions, there are real grains of wisdom that emerge. In this episode, I cover some of the most life-changing paradoxes I’ve ever come across, and discuss how they can improve how you approach your life.

In 2021, Matt from Yes Theory, one of YouTube's biggest channels, revealed he was quitting the platform. Despite being an internet celebrity, Matt's story is a common one—about someone who gave away too much of themselves to be liked by others, and now desperately trying to get themselves back. In this episode, Matt and I unpack this familiar dilemma, as well as covering topics like codependence, managing success, dealing with parasocial relationships, determining when vulnerability goes too far, and much more.

A comprehensive list of lessons you shouldn’t wait too long to learn. In this episode, I’m sharing 7 important lessons I learned far too late in life. I’m doing this so that you don’t have to live through as many clusterfucks as I did to find a bit of peace in life. Some of these lessons you may already know, some may surprise you. But they’re all guaranteed to help you live a better life. This is your one and only chance to not repeat my godawful mistakes. So get into it.

Do I exist if I’m not on social media? Can I fake it till I make it? What’s the secret to a good life? In this week’s episode, I enlist my old friend and host of the wildly popular The Psychology Podcast, Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD. to dissect our psyche in the social media age. Reflecting on his personal experience and drawing on a wealth of psychological research, Scott asks—and answers—questions that might reveal aspects of yourself you never knew were there, and set you on the path to a better life. We’re going to dive deep and get existential. We’re going to talk neurodiversity, vulnerability, and Batman. What more can you ask for? Exactly. Go get it.

Make up or break up? Knowing when to call it quits. If you’ve ever been through a rough patch, you know this is a painful question to answer. Do you stick it out? Do you cut the cord and run? Do you sacrifice more to make it work? Do you demand your partner give up everything and run away to Fiji and live happily ever after? These are the hard questions we answer in this episode. To help us figure this out, I’m going to be roasting viewers’ relationships with their partners. I’m going to go over five real-world examples sent in from you, fans struggling with relationships, and in the process I’m going to share the three questions we must all ask ourselves to figure out if it’s time to break up. So get your hot sauce ready, because shit’s about to get spicy. Maybe even have your partner join you for this one. It could be fun… or it could ruin your marriage.

Everybody wants to get rich. But is the pursuit of wealth really about the money, or are we actually chasing something much deeper? These are just a couple of the fun ideas I toss around in this episode with Morgan Housel, New York Times Bestselling author of the smash hit, The Psychology of Money, which has sold more than four million copies worldwide. We’ll dig deep to uncover our relationship with money, answer the timeless question “Will getting rich make me happy?” and share some of Morgan’s best investing tips. So put away your spreadsheets, step away from the credit card, and for god’s sake stop trading crypto for five seconds, and settle in for this one. We might just make you filthy fucking rich.

Why is it that the most important truths in life are also the most painful to hear? In this episode, I discuss five of the most uncomfortable truths that have changed my life and will likely change yours—from human suckage to the cheeriest truth of all… death. So put your safety harness on, the ride’s about to get bumpy…

Are you your own worst enemy? Ever think that your life would be so much easier if you could just change your mind about a couple things? Yeah, me too. In this inaugural episode, I am joined by my old friend Derek Sivers, the one person I know who is better at questioning beliefs and changing his mind than just about anyone… and a bona fide grandmaster at not giving a fuck. We dig into the most fundamental aspects of our psychology and happiness—our beliefs. We talk about how to change them, which ones should be changed and which ones should not, and the wide-ranging effects these beliefs have throughout our lives. I believe you will get a lot out of this podcast… see what I did there? I did the believe—eh, never mind.

Mark talks about the new pod.