Simon Mayo's Confessions

Brace yourselves for a purr-fectly scandalous episode as Father Simon and the Confessional collective hear some truly cat-astrophic tales of sin and mischief.Reverend Timothy dealings with a parishioner may or may not have included a suspicious nudge towards an open grave (and a funeral plan that was less than divine). Babs recounts her chaotic stay in a fancy Singapore hotel where her toddler caused a five foot floral and water disaster. Dad's confession is equal parts heat warming and horrifying: keeping the family cat, in the fridge for a final farewell, while spinning an increasingly tangled web of lies about the feline's untimely demise. And Gez's golf holiday prank on his forgetful mate with a fictional Spanish romance, doesn't go too well with his wife. Plus the Not For Broadcast Section debates questionable brownies and special sauce. We also talk shame stain colour theory and Matt's perfect Christmas gift.It's a wild ride of redemption, laughs and the occasional feline wizard. Don't miss it!

Prepare yourself for a bumper batch of belly laughing inducing confessions as Father Simon and the Confessional collective open their ears to a new generation of sinners and mischief makers. Alastair shares the tale of his dad's ingenious flat security measures, which left an entire family hostage until a coat hanger and a helpful neighbour saves the day. Damien recalls his Christmas job in a catalogue shop, where his clever use of a Talkboy turned festive cheer into Christmas Eve chaos. Monty meanwhile shares the grim tale of a portaloo walkie-taklie rescue that went...unwashed! La Di Da Gunner Graham’s mischief turns a marching band into a marching disaster. Plus the 'Not For Broadcast' section features a floating fish and debates on what constitutes "very illegal". We also talk Christmas confession submissions. Oh and Simon may have rebranded a social media platform with a chocolate theme. Don't forget to follow wherever you get your podcasts. Listen, laugh and remember - it's never too late for redemption

Sit back and enjoy four new confessions as Tom, Stuart, Cybil and Butcher's boy, seek forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! Including covering a young waiter in hot English mustard, denting your dad's car an letting him take the blame, to setting fire to the school assembly curtains and making up fake metal bands to add to your Christmas —no tale is too outrageous. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including those just too naughty for Greatest Hits Radio. Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too shocking to pardon?

Brace yourselves for another batch of hilarious confessions as Becca, Tufty, Chaz and Carl Jim seek forgiveness from Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! From a school music prank, to stag do revenge, telephonic travesty with an adult personal virus and a medical mistake that will make your eyes water and cross your legs. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including one that is just too illegal for Greatest Hits Radio. Matt also confuses pickled eggs and chutney and a dog wees on some cheese. Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too shocking to pardon?

Get ready for some astounding confessions this week as Thomas, Mike, Freddy and Jim seek forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! From a mum that dropped her children off to school and then emigrated to Canada with a car sales man who was 'hot a mustard', to a sitcom style electrical job in a funeral home, the prefect chid who was full of lies when it came to a fruit machine win and a grand theft gateaux —no tale is too outrageous. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including one just to wrong for Greatest Hits Radio that involves a Stag do!! and the team celebrate 1 Millions listens. Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too shocking to pardon?Be sure to follow the podcast wherever you get your podcasts!

It's another batch of confessions from a new generation of sinners as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! This week is filled with laughs! From an escaped gorilla to a Iron Maiden t-shirt causing convulsions , a minesweeping local and a magnesium mishap —no secret is safe from this crew. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including those far too disgusting for Greatest Hits Radio! Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too hilarious for even Brother Matt to forgive?

Prepare yourself for laugh out loud confessions from a new generation of mischief-makers as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! From Emergency Roman umbrellas, to a cash point disaster than ended up in a topless ride home, and a vending machine lucky mistake plus a stolen cable that causes a lot of offence—no secret is too outrageous for this crew. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including those too spicy for Greatest Hits Radio! Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too hilarious to absolve? Plus a Podcast Exclusive Not for Broadcast confession that is honking good!Don't forget to follow wherever you get your podcasts.

Get ready for four fantastic confessions from the Crypt for this weeks Crypt Special with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! From meeting the wrong 'hot neighbour', to getting your Granny to commando craw under the barrier of the gent's toilets, turning up at the wrong funeral or accidentally exposing an affair—no secret is too outrageous for this crew. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including those just not suitable for Greatest Hits Radio! Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too hilarious to absolve?Don't forget to follow for updates and send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

It's another batch of confessions from a new generation of sinners as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! This week is filled with laughs! From smuggling booze on a cruise to a backpacker causing poultry pandemonium at a chicken factory, a lonely heart column mishap plus a very unwise newspaper slogan and a toilet freshener error —no secret is safe from this crew. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including those far too disgusting for Greatest Hits Radio! Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too hilarious for even Brother Matt to forgive?

Get ready for laugh out loud confessions from a new generation of sinners as they seek forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! From a spooky prank that ended in divorce, a French exchange that ended abandoned on a tennis court, a catapult catastrophe and a confession that happened just last week —no secret is safe from this crew. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including one just to wrong for Greatest Hits Radio that involves a hamster!! Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too hilarious to absolve?Be sure to follow the podcast wherever you get your podcasts!

It's another batch of confessions from a new generation of sinners as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! This week is filled with lots of number 1's and number 2's and not all of them in the not for broadcast section! From karaoke in a toilet to camping revenge on the noisy family at the campsite, teenage love and a new mother's stress levels —no secret is safe from this crew. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including those far too disgusting for Greatest Hits Radio! Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too hilarious for even Brother Matt to forgive?

Get ready for side-splitting confessions from a new generation of mischief-makers as they seek redemption with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective! From wild camp pranks at Camp America, to a year 9 trip in Germany that ended in Malibu-fueled chaos, and a birdwatcher’s embarrassing encounter with a wildlife camera—no secret is too outrageous for this crew. Expect tales of debauchery, deceit, and regret, including those too spicy for Greatest Hits Radio! Will these sinners be forgiven, or are some sins too hilarious to absolve?Don't forget to follow wherever you get your podcasts.

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

We’re back with an inbox full of new sinners willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness. Season 6 starts next Friday but until then enjoy this mini holiday postcard from Simon & the team.Send your confessions and correspondence for the parish notice board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

The second instalment of holiday themed confessions from the crypt - plus find out how the drivetime team are finding it in their holiday caravan, with talk of a holiday poo and chemical toilets. Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio. Simon is on holiday so the team have selected some of our favourite confessions from the crypt for a summer special.

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio. Plus a podcast exclusive confession - never heard before!

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio. 

If you're a fluent Spanish speaker you might find this week's podcast a bit more coarse than usual but you'll also enjoy the accents. If you don't speak Spanish you'll enjoy a good laugh and a couple of PG-rated confessions.Featuring blood, lies, bikini malfunctions and miscommunication. Colin, Jane, Lucy, and Sarah all come in search of absolution. We have more bonus confessions from the producer's file marked 'Not for broadcast' and your messages proudly pinned on the Parish Notice Board.Plus, we unearth another confession from the crypt; 'Mother knows best', a classic case of pranking the in laws.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk 

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio. 

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. This week the Confessional Collective take over the podcast. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

A collection of hilarious revelations from the Confession Crypt in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. This week is a crypt special featuring five confessions not featured on the podcast yet. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

A septic ploppy run, an accidental country invasion, a stinky fish prank and church entertainment all feature this week.There’s more bonus confessions from the producer’s file marked ‘Not for broadcast’, including one from bus driver Jerry.Plus, we delve deep into the crypt for a classic confession with a very BIG twist we called You can Keep the Costa Brava and All That Palava - I'm off to Margate.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

Have you ever been tempted to leave your clothes on the beach for a spot of skinny dipping? Would you betray King and country for life on a Bulgarian goat farm?Introducing Debbie, Tracey, Maxine, Dora, and the super secret Commander who come in search of absolution for past misdemeanours - will they get your forgiveness?There are more bonus confessions from the producer's file marked 'Not for broadcast'. We resurrect another classic confession from the crypt, and Brother Matt has new glasses.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Hilarious revelations from a new generation of sinners, willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness with Father Simon and the Confessional Collective. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes including those confessions we could never broadcast on Greatest Hits Radio.

If you're the kind of person who runs or cycles to work - this might not be the episode for you. If you could pick Vanessa Feltz out of a police lineup - you'll probably enjoy 49% of this episode. If you enjoy a good laugh and a couple of PG-rated confessions - this, my friend, is the episode for you.Colin, Chloe, Stan, and Mr Mackay all come in search of absolution. We have more bonus confessions from the producer's file marked 'Not for broadcast' and your messages proudly pinned on the Parish Notice Board.Plus, we unearth another classic confession from the crypt; 'I don't want to be another page in your diary', a salient reminder of the pitfalls of digital diaries.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Cereal romantics, fancy dress fiascos, and Bali balls-ups. - Introducing Kevin, Ashley, Roger, and the Reverend ‘Nobby Trousers’ all hoping to find some forgiveness for their sins.There’s a unique insight into holidaying with our Matt, more bonus confessions from the producer’s file marked ‘Not for broadcast’, and Maddie’s old boss “looking for badgers”.Plus, we delve deep into the crypt for a classic confession we called ‘The Ugly Bug Ball’, in which Marky Mark outlines the dangers of metal mites.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

What's the honeymoon secret Johnny is hiding? Will you succumb to Huey's tracksuit charm? Who takes a vegetarian to a steak restaurant for Valentine's? All's fair in love and confessions, as we lend a listening ear to more of life's let-downs looking to find forgiveness for their sins – will they find it?There are bonus confessions from the producer's file marked 'Not for broadcast', the 'tat' cupboard is open for business, and we resurrect a classic confession from the crypt featuring what might be the greatest confession line of all time, as Jazzy Jeff seeks out; Ugandan Discussions Down The Disco.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Have you ever been a Cub Scout or a Brownie? – Both Bear and Tawny Owl are in search of some forgiveness in this episode. Along with Nobby and Toby, or should that be Mike?We go way back for a classic confession from the crypt to relive PJ’s story; ‘Voulez-Vous Confessey Avec Moi Ce Soir’ featuring another performance of Simon’s famous French accent.Plus, there are more confessions we could never broadcast on the radio. Your brilliant messages and reviews on the Parish Notice Board, and don’t forget to listen through to the end for the secret code phrase.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Would you sell your wife’s car to get to a concert or send your husband a fake invoice from the vet? – Introducing Karl, Fergus, Smudge, and ‘Puffing Billy’ all hoping to find some forgiveness.Simon recalls the infamous goat and hamster confessions from days gone by – different times (very different times). There’s some unmissable culinary advice if you’re unsure what to pair with your Angel Delight, and more bonus confessions from the producer’s file marked ‘Not for broadcast’.Plus, we delve deep into the crypt for a classic confession; ‘Dropkick Me Jesus Through The Goalposts Of Life’, in which Trisha finds herself in something of a tight spot at the crematorium.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

Be warned - this episode contains snakes, speedos, and possibly one too many banana gags. As Harry, Jonah, ‘Johnny Weissmuller’, and Sid seek absolution – will they find it?There are bonus confessions from the producer’s file marked ‘Not for broadcast’. Firm marriage proposal guidelines from Matt, and Karen recalls some questionable parenting and confessional gold on the Parish Notice Board. Plus, we venture into the crypt for a classic confession featuring visiting Sister Jackie Brambles in Robert’s tale; ‘Gee, Cousin Louie, you're doin' real good.’ – which has a starring role for the office jobsworth. You know the type.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

We’re back, and Simon’s declared this Season 5. Although, to be honest, it got messy, and we lost count. Anyway, Mitch, Julie, Harry and Nick come in search of forgiveness in this episode - do they deserve it?There are bonus confessions from the producer’s file marked ‘Not for broadcast’. Some profoundly vague advice about what to keep in the boot of your car, and a few early bits and pieces on the Parish Notice Board, including Bill’s confessional note regarding his prized Lynn Parsons clock.Plus, we venture into the crypt for a classic confession from ‘Knuckles’ entitled; I Was Born Under A Wand'rin’ Star’ - which illustrates the unexpected pitfalls of going travelling in your 30s.Send your confessions and notes for the Parish Notice Board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk

We’re back with an inbox full of sinners willing to share their secrets in search of forgiveness. Expect tales of greed, debauchery, deception, and honest mistakes. New episodes every Friday.Send your confessions and correspondence for the parish notice board to confessions@greatesthitsradio.co.uk