We Need To Talk with Paul C. Brunson

In episode, Paul sits down with Ashley Cain, a former professional footballer and reality TV star, who bravely shares his transformative journey of grief and healing following the devastating loss of his daughter, Azaylia, to leukemia. Ashley opens up about the struggles he's faced, the lessons he’s learned, and the powerful mission he’s now embraced to raise awareness for childhood cancer and men’s mental health. Through this heartfelt conversation, Ashley discusses the emotional challenges men often encounter and how understanding and addressing these needs can lead to personal growth. We explore the sudden end to his football career, the impact that trauma has had on his life, and how he's used his experiences to help others find strength, even in the darkest of moments.Ashley offers valuable advice on finding happiness, achieving well-being, and transforming relationships—with ourselves and others—through a process of healing. His work with The Azaylia Foundation continues to inspire people all over the world, offering hope and support to families facing similar tragedies. Please note: This episode covers sensitive topics like child loss and grief, which may be difficult for some listeners. -- Ashley's Book: Strong - https://g2ul0.app.link/Ow8Hgaq5HNb Ashley's Instagram: https://g2ul0.app.link/SWyyCc2UGNb Ashley's Charity - The Azaylia Foundation https://g2ul0.app.link/YP3IHk8UGNb -- Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod -- 02:19 - How Are You Feeling Right Now? 03:18 - Growing Up Mixed Race: Challenges And Experiences 04:57 - How Race And Upbringing Shaped Ashley's Identity 08:01 - If You Could Change Your Past, Would You? 10:06 - How Football Transformed Ashley's Life 11:42 - Life After Football: Losing Fame And Status 13:49 - Becoming A Dad For The First Time 15:38 - When Ashley Discovered Azaylia's Illness 22:57 - Staying Positive And Advocating For Azaylia's Health 32:35 - How To Cope With Trauma 38:50 - Supporting Men Through Trauma: Advice For Partners 42:08 - The Male Mental Health Crisis: What Needs To Change 50:39 - Shopify And Tinder Ad Break 52:32 - Is Ashley Truly Happy? 54:36 - Ashley's Wellness Journey 56:31 - The 6 Dimensions Of Psychological Wellbeing Explained 01:00:10 - How To Handle Trauma In Relationships 01:02:50 - What Ashley Would Change About His Past Relationships 01:03:27 - Relationship Advice: Loving A Man Like Ashley 01:05:00 - Is Ashley Single Right Now? 01:05:55 - Is Ashley Open To Dating? 01:07:00 - Who Should Make The First Move In Dating? 01:08:00 - Chirpsing Roleplay: How To Approach Someone 01:12:10 - How Opening Up Has Affected Ashley 01:12:46 - The Most Memorable Conversation Ashley's Had 01:15:09 - Paul's Key Takeaways -- Sponsored by: Shopify - www.shopify.co.uk/needtotalk Tinder - https://tinder.com/en-GB

In this episode, Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman, world-renowned relationship experts and founders of The Gottman Institute, share their research-based insights into what truly makes relationships work. With over 50 years of research on marital stability and parenting, they dive deep into key issues like how contempt can destroy your immune system, and why certain toxic behaviors—like criticism and stonewalling—are major red flags in relationships. They also debunk common myths such as "Never go to bed angry" and explain how empathy and emotional intelligence are critical to lasting love. The Gottmans provide practical advice on how to manage conflict, heal from childhood trauma, and create deeper emotional connections. Whether you're navigating daily disagreements or looking to rebuild trust after betrayal, this conversation is filled with valuable takeaways to help you strengthen your relationship and build a healthier, more fulfilling partnership. Find the Gottmans here: The Gottman Institute - https://g2ul0.app.link/H16ipH9ywNb Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/CJZlSOczwNb Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod Topics: 00:00 - Intro   02:02 - Do People Still Believe In Marriage Today?   09:23 - What Defines A Successful Marriage In Modern Times?   13:09 - What Percentage Of Couples Are Truly Happy In Their Relationships?   15:47 - Inside Paul’s Matchmaking Process On MAFS (Married At First Sight)   17:51 - Are Successful Couples Less Exciting? The Truth About Stability   21:24 - What Is The Love Lab And How Does It Work?   22:38 - Shocking Discoveries From The Love Lab: What Science Says About Love   26:18 - The Power Of The 'Six Second Kiss' In Relationships   29:38 - Do The Gottmans Use Their Own Research In Their Marriage?   32:51 - How Important Is Sex For A Healthy Relationship?   37:46 - Why Date Night Matters More Than You Think   40:37 - The Ingredients Of A Perfect Date: How To Get It Right   43:03 - Paul's Ultimate First Date Test: Does It Predict Success?   45:52 - The Key Principles Of A Successful Marriage Revealed   49:46 - The Top Reason Couples Fight And How To Avoid It   50:45 - The Different Conflict Styles In Marriage: Which One Are You?   55:27 - Is Conflict Good For Your Relationship? Here’s The Answer   57:22 - How Important Is Compatibility In A Relationship?   58:40 - The Questions You Should Ask To Truly Understand Your Partner   01:06:16 - How To Resolve Conflicts And Strengthen Your Relationship   01:08:57 - Should You Stay With A Partner Who Won't Resolve Conflicts?   01:11:10 - Tinder Ad: How Modern Dating Apps Are Changing Relationships   01:12:12 - The Four Horsemen Of Relationships And Why Contempt Is The Worst   01:14:47 - When Is It Time To End A Relationship? Key Signs To Watch For   01:16:24 - What Is Flooding In Relationships And How To Manage It   01:18:46 - How To Self-Soothe When You’re Emotionally Overwhelmed   01:21:17 - Should You 'Never Go To Bed Angry'? The Real Answer   01:22:22 - Can You Rebuild Trust After Infidelity? Here’s How   01:28:33 - How To Know If Your Relationship Is Failing: Warning Signs   01:31:26 - What’s The Most Memorable Relationship Conversation You’ve Had?   01:35:00 - Outro   01:35:28 - Paul’s Final Takeaways On Love And Relationships Sponsored by: Tinder - https://tinder.com/en-GB

In this episode, dance power couple Oti Mabuse and Marius Iepure sit down for their first joint interview. Together, they share the highs and lows of their relationship, revealing how hey transitioned from dance partners to life partners, and navigated the challenges following their daughter’s premature birth. Oti opens up about how her obsession with winning Strictly strained their marriage and how Marius supported her during her lowest moment as a professional dancer. Join Paul for an inspiring conversation about resilience, unwavering support, and the vital importance of showing up for one another in life’s toughest moments. Oti's Instagram: https://g2ul0.app.link/EyHZ8NAnjNb  Marius's Instagram: https://g2ul0.app.link/Qc1t4kFnjNb Oti and Marius' Website: https://g2ul0.app.link/SrgkUdenjNb Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod Sections: 00:00 - Introduction 02:17 - Why Share Your Private Life Now? 04:48 - How Childhood Lessons Shape Your Life Today 13:25 - Building Strong Connections Despite Differences 17:49 - How Dance Brings People Together 21:35 - The Global Impact of Afrobeats and Dance 24:58 - Redefining Masculinity in African Culture 28:12 - Navigating Power Dynamics in Modern Relationships 32:44 - Why Failure and Rejection Are Essential for Growth 36:10 - How Setting Boundaries Transforms Your Life 40:23 - Does Fame Change Who You Are? 44:56 - The Pressures of Being a Role Model 49:12 - How to Stay True to Yourself in a Demanding World 53:39 - Your Path to Self-Acceptance and Confidence 58:27 - Why Mental Health Should Be a Priority 01:02:14 - How Vulnerability Can Empower You 01:07:06 - Living Authentically in a Digital Age 01:11:35 - Mastering How to Handle Criticism 01:16:02 - How to Find Inner Peace in a Busy World 01:20:47 - Discovering Your Life's Purpose 01:25:33 - Overcoming The Fear Of Being Judged 01:29:50 - How to Become Your Best Self Sponsored by: Tinder - https://tinder.com/en-GB

We Need To Talk: In this thought-provoking episode, relationship expert and coach Sadia Khan openly shares her own perspectives on modern dating, masculinity, and the evolving nature of intimate relationships. Paul and Sadia dive deep into the impact of the sexual revolution, which Sadia believes has led to a decline in masculinity among men and an enhancement of masculinity in women.  They also examine how adult media platforms like Only Fans are eroding intimacy, while fuelling infidelity in modern relationships. Sadia shares her beliefs on the importance of being a 'high-value man’ and offers her perspective on whether non-monogamous relationships can truly work within the structures of marriage. By the end of this conversation, listeners can expect to gain a deeper understanding of the struggles in modern dating, the challenges young men face, and the reasons why many modern relationships are failing, all while exploring the conflict between traditional values and today’s evolving dating culture. Learn more about Sadia’s work here: https://g2ul0.app.link/SadiaKhan — 00:00 - Introduction 01:59 - The First Time You Felt Love 03:07 - Are You A Feminist Or Misogynist? Discover Your True Self 03:37 - Sadia's Journey Through Love And Relationships 05:18 - Why Infidelity Is A Major Fear In Relationships 08:37 - How The Sexual Revolution Transformed Modern Dating 11:10 - Defining Masculinity: What It Means Today 13:06 - Do Men Really Only Want Sex? 14:50 - Exploring Paul's Love Life And Intimacy 18:47 - How Feedback Can Strengthen A Marriage 21:19 - The Dangers Of Pornography On Relationships 23:36 - Are There Any Benefits To Watching Porn? 26:09 - Are Polyamorous Relationships Destroying Dating Norms? 27:20 - Is Marriage The Right Choice For Everyone? 32:42 - Is OnlyFans Changing The Face Of Modern Dating? 36:52 - Perspectives On OnlyFans: Empowerment Or Exploitation? 43:54 - What Is The Narcissistic Movement? A Deep Dive 45:11 - How Ethnicity Affects Your Dating Preferences 46:17 - Are Women Becoming More Narcissistic? 48:06 - Does Racial Preference In Dating Make You Racist? 49:59 - Colonialism's Impact On Modern Dating Preferences 50:49 - The Two Types Of Men According To Sadia 53:11 - Dating Advice For Single Men Looking For Love 55:12 - The Biggest Red Flags Men Should Avoid 58:12 - What Makes A Woman Truly Attractive? 01:03:01 - How Wellbeing Influences Partner Choices 01:07:26 - Why Men React Negatively To Attractive Women 01:07:53 - How Jealousy Affects Self-Worth In Relationships 01:10:12 - How Sadia Handles Negative Comments Online 01:12:01 - Paul's Biggest Takeaways From The Conversation — Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB

We Need to Talk: In this episode, Paul dives into the critical role status plays in our relationships. He explores why couples engage in "status games" and how our evolutionary drive for status impacts our pursuit for sexual partners. His guest this week is Will Storr, award-winning journalist and Sunday Times bestselling author of The Status Game, The Heretics, Selfie, and The Science of Storytelling. Together, they unpack how understanding status can help us build stronger, long-lasting relationships. Learn more about Will Storr's work here: https://g2ul0.app.link/lV7aQOFvTMb (00:00) Introduction (1:30) What Is Status and How Do We Define It? (2:23) Why Is Status So Important in Modern Society? (2:58) 1st PTC (3:22) How Status and Connection Impact Happiness (4:15) The Role of High Status in Tribal Societies (5:52) How Status Shapes Our Identity (6:56) The Difference Between Superficial and Meaningful Connections (10:20) 2nd PTC (11:44) Are We Doomed to a Culture of Doom and Gloom? (13:30) How to Handle the Loss of Celebrity Status (16:17) Navigating Multiple Status Games in Life (18:32) Sponsor - Tinder (19:33) The Link Between Status and Suicide: What You Need to Know (21:31) How to Support Someone Losing Their Status (22:24) 3rd PTC (22:54) Is Modern Dating Being Destroyed by Dating Apps? (24:41) Does Social Media Affect How We Behave in Real Life? (26:16) How Status Displays Differ in Hookups vs. Serious Relationships (30:23) 4th PTC (31:41) What Is 'Detect and Protect' Mode in Relationships? (34:44) Why We Crave Connection with the Same People (38:18) Why My Partner and I Decided Not to Have Children (42:51) How Childhood Unhappiness Can Lead to Adult Success (44:22) How to Overcome Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships (45:48) Why Loving Yourself Is Key to a Healthy Relationship (48:56) The Most Meaningful Conversation I’ve Ever Had (51:42) My Biggest Takeaways From This Discussion -- Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB

We Need To Talk: In this episode, we uncover the untold truth behind TV superstar Lauren Goodger. Lauren, a TV icon, entrepreneur, and mother, rose to fame on The Only Way is Essex (TOWIE) from 2010 to 2012 and made a much-anticipated return in 2024. For the first time, Lauren opens up about her personal journey—reflecting on her relationships, the intense scrutiny of high-profile romances, and how she found self-love through life's many evolutions. In her own words, Lauren reveals her path to healing and growth, offering listeners a candid look at her struggles and triumphs. We hope her story not only brings healing to Lauren but inspires others to talk more openly about mental health and overcoming tragedy. Follow Lauren here: https://g2ul0.app.link/i2ghg6YrMMb (00:00) Intro (02:07) When Was The First Time You Fell In Love? (05:36) Your First Serious Relationship Revealed (09:04) The Most Challenging Moment In Your Relationship With Mark (11:05) The Beginning Of TOWIE: How It All Started (12:12) A Turning Point In Your Journey (13:12) How TOWIE And Fame Affected Your Relationship With Mark (17:36) Why People Are So Intrigued By You (18:24) The Real Reason You Broke Up With Mark (21:42) Lauren And Mark: Why They Stopped Speaking (22:49) Reflecting On Major Life Events (23:39) Your Second Relationship With Jake After Mark (26:35) How To Pick The Right Partner (27:17) Breaking Up With Jake, What Really Happened (31:12) Your Relationship With Joey (34:13) What Attracts You To Bad Boys? (36:44) How You Earned Thousands From A Photoshoot (39:01) Why You Started OnlyFans And What It Meant To You (42:36) Your Relationship With Charles: The Truth (45:26) The Emotional Impact Of Having An Abortion (47:07) The Journey Of Becoming A Mother (47:59) Why It Takes So Long To Get To Know Someone (53:40) The Tragic Loss Of Your Unborn Child (59:30) Feeling Lonely, How You Handled It (01:00:58) Steps To Recover From Trauma (01:03:17) The Three Essential Groups We Need In Life (01:07:43) What You Did To Change Your Life For The Better (01:13:12) What You Would Tell Your 12-Year-Old Self (01:13:51) The Most Impactful Conversation Of Your Life (01:16:07) Why You Want People To Know The Real You? Sponsors: Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB Shopify: www.shopify.co.uk/needtotalk

Paul C Brunson, the world’s most influential matchmaker and TV star, brings his insightful commentary on how to create and sustain successful relationships through vulnerability, connection and understanding. From weekly conversations with industry experts and familiar faces, Paul promises to support your personal growth, provide practical insights, and deliver actionable advice that will add value to your relationships.