No Such Thing As A Fish

No Such Thing As A Fish

By No Such Thing As A Fish

Award-winning podcast from the QI offices in which the writers of the hit BBC show discuss the best things they've found out this week. Hosted by Dan Schreiber (@schreiberland) with James Harkin (@jamesharkin), Andrew Hunter Murray (@andrewhunterm), and Anna Ptaszynski (#GetAnnaOnTwitter)

Episodes

439: No Such Thing As A Finger Fish

Dan, Anna, Andrew and James discuss Brontes, Bergs, Bugs and Big Ol' Boulders. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at nosuchthingasafish.com/apple or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon
11/08/221h 3m

438: No Such Thing As A Candyfloss Blimp

Dan, Anna, Andrew and special guest Malcolm Gladwell discuss Silicon Valley regrets, aeroplanes dangling from hooks and whether Dan should be a billionaire. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. Join Club Fish for ad-free episodes and exclusive bonus content at nosuchthingasafish.com/apple or nosuchthingasafish.com/patreon
04/08/221h 2m

437: No Such Thing As A Face Mite With A Laptop

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss mites, miles, Mayflowers and mucky movies. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
28/07/221h 2m

436: No Such Thing As An Alexa In Heaven

Dan, James, Andy and special guest Ed Yong discuss good uses for bad medicine, what hummingbirds do in a bed of roses, and why America is livin' on a prayer. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
22/07/221h 5m

435: No Such Thing As An Arm-Wrestling Chihuahua

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss huge heads, bloated batsmen, lopsided lighthouses and 'armful arm-wrestlers.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
15/07/2257m 27s

434: No Such Thing As Robinson Two-Soe

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Puerto Rican primates, epicurean pirates and painting princes.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
08/07/2257m 38s

433: No Such Thing As A Golden Chicken

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Francis Fitzgerald's fame, full-to-bursting fish, and a frankly phenomenal fruit.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
01/07/221h 0m

432: No Such Thing As Sexygesimal Time

Dan, Andy, Anna and special guest Bobby Seagull are discussing charts, talking clocks, and having a chit chat about Kitcatts.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
24/06/221h 0m

431: No Such Thing As A Vampire From Devon

Dan, James, Andrew and special guest Rachel Parris discuss piano prodigies, snow-struck skiiers, urine luck, and the Devon Dracula.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
17/06/2253m 39s

430: No Such Thing As The Assistant Honcho

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the letters A (for Airport Complaints), B (for Birdman Cults), C (for Crafty Caterpillars) and D (for a Dodgy Dewey).  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
10/06/2251m 38s

No Such Thing As A Royal Seal

Happy Platinum Jubilee Bank Holiday! Here's a little extra something from Dan, James, Anna and Andrew get you through the four-day weekend. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
03/06/2233m 25s

429: No Such Thing As Newsbite

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss magnificent moustaches, mating moles and Miniscule Maltese Mothercare.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
02/06/2256m 21s

428: No Such Thing As Free Urine In The Uber

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss surprise sedans, sustained smears, squatting ships and seldom-seen sticks. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
27/05/2256m 53s

427: No Such Thing As A Magnetic Skateboard

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss a cupboard full of clown heads, the robot that doesn't jump over the moon and the rock and roll side of pension planning. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
20/05/2253m 57s

426: No Such Thing As The Man-Trap Of Walford

James, Anna, Andrew and special guest Lucy Porter discuss Korean aging, Chinese quizzing, Dot Wordsworth and Dot Cotton.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
13/05/221h 2m

425: No Such Thing As The Ken Ages

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the hedges of England, the river of Mississippi and the snowflake early universe.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
06/05/2251m 45s

424: No Such Thing As An Ark For Peanuts

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss pilchard performances, banyan behemoths, thai tastes, and fun foley.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
29/04/221h 0m

423: No Such Thing As A Seminole Sorting Hat

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss seal sex, cricket contraptions, hard rock, and controversial colourful cafes.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
22/04/2257m 57s

422: No Such Thing as The Long Kiss Good Brie

In our Easter Special Compilation, James, Anna, Andrew and Dan send lawbreaking emails, potentially libel the Royal Family, get a warm welcome in Dublin and are hounded out of Newcastle.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
15/04/2244m 5s

422: No Such Thing as The Long Kiss Good Brie

In our Easter Special Compilation, James, Anna, Andrew and Dan send lawbreaking emails, potentially libel the Royal Family, get a warm welcome in Dublin and are hounded out of Newcastle.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
14/04/2244m 5s

421: No Such Thing As An Elephant On A Chessboard

James, Anna, Andrew and special guest Tim Harford discuss vital vitamins, stinging schemes, and the practice of pyrography.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
08/04/2257m 13s

420: No Such Thing As An Actor Called Macbeth

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss paddling pachyderms, fatalistic funfairs and audacious actors.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
01/04/2254m 12s

419: No Such Thing As SpongeBob with Worms

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss skaters' skirts, comedians coats and the worst thing you can possibly bring to the top of a tree.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
25/03/2255m 9s

418: No Such Thing As A Pub Full of Corgis

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Dean Martin's massive hands, Tasmania's lovely butts, and James's sexy mosquito legs.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
18/03/2248m 43s

417: No Such Thing As A Guide Dog Called Neil

Live from Belfast, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss e-mail, y-fronts and MRI scanners. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
11/03/2246m 38s

416: No Such Thing As The Turin Towelette

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss bear toys, bare humans, and a museum that is barely there. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
04/03/2248m 2s

415: No Such Thing As Tiddlywinks In The Wild West

Live from Bath, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss top tiddlywinkers, poking pork, and bathing in Bath. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
25/02/2251m 43s

414: No Such Thing As Miles Davis's Jazzercise Workouts

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Army squads, Leggy squats, and heady squabs. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
18/02/2242m 55s

413: No Such Thing As Squid Playing Games

Live from York, Dan, James, Andrew, & Anna discuss squids, sticks, artichokes and arty jokes. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. 
11/02/2254m 36s

412: No Such Thing As A John Lennon Statue in Svalbard

Dan, James, Andrew, & special guest Deborah Frances-White discuss fake foxes, fake Drug habits, and fake Tina Turners. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. 
04/02/2238m 55s

411: No Such Thing As Cristiano Ronaldo Eating Pistachios

Live from Manchester, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss postcards, pistachios, postcards and a glamorous guillotiner. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
28/01/2250m 10s

410: No Such Thing As A Cheesus Christ

Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss dogs that escape, robbers who can't escape Detective Cumberbatch, and where best to escape the dreaded 'girlitis'.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
21/01/2238m 32s

409: No Such Thing As Reverend Christian Book

Live from Poole, Dan, Andy, Anna and Andrew discuss tardigrades, tigers, testicle theft and trendy priests.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
14/01/2248m 40s

408: No Such Thing As A 'Waiting For Godot' Action Figure

Live from Chesterfield, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss monkey bashing grannies, monkey bashing Beatles, and how the number the beast can get you on the road to Armageddon.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
07/01/2242m 45s

407: No Such Thing As An Echidna With An After Eight Mint

Happy New Year! It's the Fish Live Compilation Special! Dan, James, Anna and Andrew show why they're absolute pro podcasters, with a new bunch of outtakes and near disasters from our live shows.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. 
31/12/2141m 16s

406: No Such Thing As Batman And Thrush

Live from Birmingham it's the Fish Christmas Special! Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Christmas birds and Christmas paintings, and wish you a Randy Christmas.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. 
24/12/2144m 10s

405: No Such Thing As Caviar-Flavoured Water

Live from Canterbury, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss soup bombs, military llamas and the annual explosion of worm sperm.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. 
17/12/2142m 41s

403: No Such Thing As The Buckingham Palace All-Day Breakfast

Live from Oxford, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the longest baseball match, the highest wedding ceremonies, the largest carpets, and the holiest trees. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. 
10/12/2140m 51s

402: No Such Thing As A Pig Playing Fortnite

Live from Barnstaple, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss smells in Southampton, screens in the sea, and some spectacularly suspicious sawing. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. 
03/12/2143m 58s

401: No Such Thing As Scandalnavia

Live from Ipswich, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew ask the questions: did a plant cause the American Revolution of 1776? What the hell actually is a red panda? And who really was Cotton Eye Joe? Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. 
26/11/2146m 35s

400: No Such Thing As A Pope In A Helicopter

Live from the London Palladium, our 400TH SHOW (!!) Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss microwaves, Microsoft and microlights. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. 
19/11/2155m 4s

399: No Such Thing As Larry Grayson's Shut That Cock

Live from Exeter, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss a puzzle in prison, a chicken on the road, and the lone vegetable detective of the high seas. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. 
12/11/2140m 28s

398: No Such Thing As An Upside-Down Upside-Down Bat

Live from Peterborough, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss murderous midwives, Mexican mouths and motorcycling mothers-in-law. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes. 
05/11/2146m 40s

397: No Such Thing As Sexy Toda Milkman Time

Live from Reading, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Toda, Yoda and Tereshkova. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
29/10/2142m 25s

396: No Such Thing As The Echidna Prince Charming

Live from Richmond: Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss echidna wooers, death eschewers, hailstone rescuers, and drug filled sewers. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
22/10/2142m 5s

395: No Such Thing As A Kryptonite Drill

Live from Nottingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the lunar hammock, Titanic panic, Aussie officials and how to cook pizzles. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
15/10/2146m 39s

394: No Such Thing As A Fourteen Humped Camel

Live from Tunbridge Wells, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss Canyons, Kanye, Space Invaders and Spies' Masqueraders. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
08/10/2139m 33s

393: No Such Thing As Charlie And The Sperm Factory

Dan, James, Andy and special guest Mary Roach discuss vomiting vultures, bootleg truffles, hairy astronauts, and the seediest postcards ever sent.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
01/10/2154m 18s

392: No Such Thing As An Ancient Persian Badger

Dan, Anna, Andy and special guest Craig Glenday of Guinness World Records discuss triple-decker tattoos, hidden codes, pre-Biblical air-con and extremely elderly balloons.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
24/09/2156m 49s

391: No Such Thing As A Sausage Swingboat

Anna gets exasperated about Tin Tin, Dan is vindicated in a fact about camels, Andy tells the best joke you'll ever hear about the Umayyad conquest of Hispania, and James finally learns what a giraffe looks like.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
17/09/2155m 38s

390: No Such Thing As The Chronicles of Chelmsford

Dan, Andy, Anna and Shaparak Khorsandi discuss hero adventure dogs, how to find God in the sidecar of a motorbike, and the mafia book with the world's most bizarre subplot. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
10/09/2148m 11s

389: No Such Thing As A Semen Chest

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the high-pitched president, inflatable shoes and likin' lichen.    Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
03/09/2159m 35s

388: No Such Thing As A Danquito

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss melodious bridges, murderous dragonflies, made-up politicians and magnificent wigs.    Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
27/08/2156m 11s

387: No Such Thing As The Northern Lights

Dan, James, Anna and special guest Robin Ince discuss hidden sounds, flashing lights and lots and lots of dancing. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
20/08/2148m 14s

386: No Such Thing As Enough Bathtubs

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss flying urine, sinking floaters, Keaton and Kazakhstan.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
13/08/2159m 38s

385: No Such Thing As Crossing the Futility Boundary

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Albatrosses, Cheetahs, Mangles, Rocking Chairs, Dolly Parton and plenty more besides. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
06/08/2147m 46s

384: No Such Thing As Jiminy's Cricket Shop

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the unsexiest striptease imaginable, the Michaelangelo of fake rocks, and a mysterious ascent of Mont Blanc. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
30/07/2151m 4s

383: No Such Thing As A Mead-Based Maasai Gameshow

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss shark exfoliators, droopy Concordes and who belongs behind a snob screen Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
23/07/2159m 5s

382: No Such Thing As A Waiter Made Of Potatoes

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss delicious dissections, tempting tatties, provocative publications and rearing rocks. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
16/07/2155m 56s

381: No Such Thing As A Safe Toothpick

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss popular plaques, pioneering puppets, pointy picks and powerful people. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
09/07/2148m 56s

380: No Such Thing As The Virgin Mary Toast Reunion Tour

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss 19th century dogbandittis, uncommon methods for removing a tooth, and the greatest knobheads in Science Fiction. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
02/07/2154m 29s

379: No Such Thing As A Ping Pong Ballbag

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss fighting fire with fire, moon minerals, incontinent snakes and the weirdness of watermelons Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
25/06/2143m 47s

378: No Such Thing As A Reverse-Waterslide

James, Dan, Andy and Anna discuss forest foods, pachyderm pints and where bald eagles get their takeaways. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
18/06/2154m 35s

377: No Such Thing As The Mole Street Journal

James, Dan, Andy and Anne discuss mole-ologers, beard-botherers, actors' special rings, and textual deviants.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
11/06/2150m 50s

376: No Such Thing As Hamil-Son The Musical

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss polite British invasions, Lin Manuel Miranda's next big broadway hit, and what a Ptaszynski really means.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
04/06/2148m 50s

375: No Such Thing As A Holiday On Uranus

Anna, James, Dan and Andy discuss bowling, bonging, fighting and farting.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
28/05/2155m 2s

374: No Such Thing As Tarzan In A Waterpark

Anna, James, Dan and Andy discuss song sheets, short streams and service stations.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
21/05/2157m 12s

373: No Such Thing As The Handshake Police

Anna, James, Dan and special guest Ella Al-Shamahi discuss unhealthy handshakes, pioneering pilots and Seattle's favourite shrink.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
14/05/211h 0m

372: No Such Thing As A Dinosaur For Goldilocks

Anna, James, Andrew and Dan discuss boxes in Eastbourne and boxes of newborns.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
07/05/2155m 25s

371: No Such Thing As A Welcome Lasagne

Anna, James, Andrew and Dan discuss Tetris, cow piss, and a leg that left the premises.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
30/04/2153m 41s

370: No Such Thing As George Clooney In A Blackcurrant Suit

Anna, James, Andrew and special guest Athena Kugblenu discuss sexism for babies, an international coffee conflict, and a political Corrector gone mad.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
23/04/2159m 19s

369: No Such Thing As Quartz For The Courts

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss skillful french bunnies and ancient chinese sunnies.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
16/04/2156m 16s

368: No Such Thing As The Knipper And The Corpse

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss haemolacria, Olga Chekhova, butterflies and buttered muffins.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
09/04/2153m 12s

367: No Such Thing As A Horse Drawn Segway

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss drugs with colourful names, a prince with a colourful grotto, and a country without colour TV. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
02/04/2152m 47s

366: No Such Thing As Listening To Your Marmalade

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss historical blocks, indecisive baboons and who acted sly when it came to Stallone. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
26/03/211h 2m

365: No Such Thing As A Smart Cheetah At Harvard

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss slow cheetahs, smart cushions and why doing long charity broadcasts might be a terrible idea. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
19/03/2150m 58s

No Such Thing As Enough Money For Comic Relief

In addition to your regularly scheduled weekly episode, here is a clip from last week's No Such Thing As A Fish 20-hour podcast, streamed live from last Friday for Comic Relief! 
17/03/2121m 39s

364: No Such Thing As Kylie Minnow

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss hungry marines, thirsty police and sleepy snooker players. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
11/03/2154m 41s

363: No Such Thing As A Squiggly Pineapple

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss clothes pegs, pineapple burgers and a very Nortey footballer.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
05/03/2153m 26s

362: No Such Thing As Batman and Robinette

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss where to find Randy Andy, who Neil Armstrong's quarantine cockroach was, and why you start a fake dust company.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
26/02/2154m 27s

361: No Such Thing As The Mosquito Effect

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss how many mosquitos you can fit on to your cutlery, how to disguise yourself as street furniture, and why every diver in the world should be thankful to goats.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
19/02/2156m 13s

360: No Such Thing As May Pole Syrup

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Polish dragons, turkey trots and leopard dentistry. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
12/02/2150m 2s

359: No Such Thing As A Sneaky Badger Swapsie

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss badgers, bombers, bees and books ...of the audio variety Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
05/02/2152m 36s

358: No Such Thing As The Gunfight At The Amazing Corral

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss unexploded bombs, unexpected shootouts and a very unpleasant way to go.   Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
29/01/2155m 51s

357: No Such Thing As A Rapidly Deflating Walrus

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss spectacular lost films, sensational Victorian plays and orgiastic tupperware parties.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
22/01/2157m 24s

356: No Such Thing As Potter The Great

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss double-thrones, rocking chairs and a load of old molluscs.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
15/01/2159m 3s

355: No Such Thing As The Big Bad Virginia Woolf

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the grammar police, termite pizza and the practical jokes of one of the great poets of our time.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
08/01/2156m 34s

354: No Such Thing As Worrying About What Might Happen

An all-new bumper compilation of silliness with Dan, Anna, James, Andy, Jenny Ryan, Tom Scott, Rhys Derby, Alan Davies and Sandi Toksvig Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
31/12/201h 30m

353: No Such Thing As Hans Gruber's Silent Night

Dan, Anna, James and Andy discuss crap cracker jokes, Zen monk Grinches and the dangerous world of carol singing.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
24/12/2056m 59s

352: No Such Thing As Loki-day

Dan, Anna, James and Andy discuss a warrior who was Trieu, letters that are false, and why nobody seems to know what day it is Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
18/12/2059m 4s

351: No Such Thing As Pop Charts for Bagpipers

Dan, Anna, James and Andy discuss remote Russians, minted Madagascans and a very brazen Dane. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
11/12/201h 0m

350: No Such Thing As Tickling Baseball Players

Dan, Anna, James and Alan Davies discuss people lending, perilous landing, rigid fishes and frigid dishes.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
04/12/2057m 1s

349: No Such Thing As Tug of War for Clowns

Dan, Anna, Andrew and James discuss humidity, humility and a highly dangerous activity.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
27/11/2053m 25s

348: No Such Thing As Infinite Toilet Paper

Dan, Anna, Andrew and James discuss burglary tools, hornet tales, and infinite tiles.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
20/11/2052m 37s

347: No Such Thing As A Bacon Scented Sleep Mask

Dan, Anna, Andrew and James discuss prisons, escapes, chess and why you can never have too much spam.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
13/11/2054m 13s

346: No Such Thing As An Unsexy Astronaut

Dan, Anna, Andrew and Major Tim Peake discuss an out of this world diet, the last species on Earth, and what Tom Collins has been saying behind all of your backs.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
06/11/201h 0m

345: No Such Thing As A Sideways Treadmill

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss a swearing mongoose, gangster candy and the wickedest man in the world in this year's Hallowe'en special. 
30/10/2054m 58s

344: No Such Thing As The Icelandic Trampoline Corps

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss American Spooks, Indian Athletes and French Donkeys.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
23/10/2052m 42s

343: No Such Thing As A Dolphin In An Escape Room

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss bodacious inventions, heinous nuclear errors and most triumphant costume design. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
16/10/2044m 3s

342: No Such Thing As A Presidential Fight Club

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the most badass members of the Roosevelt family, the legend of Barry Towncouncil, and what on Earth a not-a-bird is.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
09/10/2055m 40s

341: No Such Thing As A May-I Sandwich

Dan, James, Anna and Rhys Darby discuss dog dramas, wacky walks, and killer Kiwis.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
02/10/201h 2m

340: No Such Thing As A Didgeridoo in a Bar

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss immobile fish, inedible sandwiches and incredible traffic jams. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
25/09/2058m 9s

339: No Such Thing As A Penguin in a Nightclub

Anna, James, Andy and Tom Scott discuss flashing lights, measuring trees and naughty penguins Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
18/09/2056m 12s

338: No Such Thing As Carthaginian YouTube

Dan, James, Andy and Jenny Ryan discuss criminal times, baffling crimes and spurious rhymes. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
11/09/2053m 38s

337: No Such Thing As A Triangular Rectangle

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss advanced spatial mathematics, linguistic philosophy and a really really big cow Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
04/09/2053m 45s

336: No Such Thing As A Delicious Emergency Salad

Dan, James, Andy and Sara Pascoe discuss DNA, 747s and TMI from a certain beetle. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
28/08/2052m 15s

335: No Such Thing As A Cardigan For Ginger Rogers

Dan, James, Andy and Sandi Toksvig discuss Bargain Hoovers, Hidden Rivers and Ginger Rogers Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
21/08/2055m 44s

334: No Such Thing As A Babysitter's Trade Union

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss swimming, wrestling, necking, and a very unfortunate giraffe. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
14/08/2053m 19s

333: No Such Thing As Fingerprints On The Avocados

A show of outtakes from the last four months. Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Fingerprints, silly walks, figs, dunes and much much more.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
07/08/2050m 58s

332: No Such Thing As An Innocent Apple

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss stickers, smartphones and a man who spent a lot of time cooped up. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
31/07/2041m 8s

331: No Such Thing As A Queen In A Fig Tree

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Kings of Leon, debate some Mule-y Chambers, and find out Whose Snacks are on Fire Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
24/07/2050m 8s

330: No Such Thing As An Antarctic Vindaloo

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss rocks of ages, cool treads and disco moles. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
17/07/2053m 3s

329: No Such Thing As A Female Cereal Mascot

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ostriches, tigers and a history's loneliest crab Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
10/07/2053m 6s

328: No Such Thing As A Romantic Lollipop

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Summer Homes, Summer Treats and Sunday Trading Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
03/07/2053m 43s

327: No Such Thing As A SCUBA Diver In A Tree

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Spies, Flies and Tornado Lies Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
26/06/2048m 55s

No Such Thing As The iSausage

Extra Bits Special: Dan, James, Anna & Andy discuss Sausages, Eels and Unusual Swords in a bonus episode to raise money for the Care Workers Charity. Donate here: qi.com/donate. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
22/06/2059m 31s

326: No Such Thing As An Infortunate Occurrence

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss a sure fire way to get a million quid, the secret of word peace, and why some people are more gullible than others.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
19/06/2051m 37s

325: No Such Thing As An Earwig Family Zoom Chat

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss medieval knights, 1001 nights, and French day trippers.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
12/06/2049m 40s

324: No Such Thing As Mambo No. 2

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Shameful Tunes, Moving Dunes and Historic Cartoons Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
05/06/2047m 55s

323: No Such Thing As Floating Vaseline

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss what vaseline does in water; why an owl was found in an owl; and why you need to always keep in the lines. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
29/05/2053m 25s

322: No Such Thing As A Crown Of Willie Thornes

James, Anna, Andy & Dan discuss dizzy monks, soggy cheese and slimy sausages.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
22/05/2054m 53s

321: No Such Thing As A Frothy Beer

James, Anna, Andy & Dan discuss chalk giants, corn circles and what the Mayans got right in 2012.   Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
15/05/2048m 2s

320: No Such Thing As A Hairy Gearstick

James, Anna, Andy & Dan discuss the Greatest Showman, the Longest Limo and the World's Most Dangerous Mirrors Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
08/05/2044m 45s

319: No Such Thing As 19th Century Feudal Japanese Monopoly

James, Anna, Andy & Anne Miller discuss the Amazon, Jumanji, Loofahs and Ooya! Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
01/05/2053m 26s

318: No Such Thing As 'Of Quails and Men'

James, Anna, Andy & Historian Greg Jenner discuss forks, eggs, ants, and why American audiences can be a little too Kean.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
24/04/2051m 57s

317: No Such Thing As Panic Buying Frankincense

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss innovations in socks, a sure-fire way to win the lottery, and the worst place to keep your small change.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
17/04/2055m 19s

316: No Such Thing As a Leg Made from Milk

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Meaty Biscuits, Leather Baths and Other Strange Tails.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
10/04/2038m 59s

315: No Such Thing As Tedious Moss

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Plato, pizza and pliable planes.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
03/04/2047m 51s

314: No Such Thing As A Tiny Ferris Wheel

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss 4-D, I.D., STDs and why we're all a little bit jealous of Jessica Alba.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
27/03/2048m 1s

313: No Such Thing As A Dangerous Coconut

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss fruit that's expensive and dangerous; and people who got very hot and very cold.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
20/03/2053m 28s

312: No Such Thing As Quentin Tarantino's Bambi

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss dangerous Roman toilets, what shoes were thrown at a Bush, and the love life of a Lothario turtle called Diego. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
13/03/2046m 12s

Episode 312: No Such Thing As Quentin Tarantino's Bambi

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss dangerous Roman toilets, what shoes were thrown at a Bush, and the love life of a Lothario turtle called Diego. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
13/03/2051m 37s

311: No Such Thing As A Michelangel-ogram

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss a bank that was too warm, a bottle that was too full, and a nose that was just right.  Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
06/03/2046m 52s

310: No Such Thing As A Mungmonger

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Romans vs Vandals; Artists vs Artists; Door-to-Door Sales; and Bear-on-Bear action. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
28/02/2048m 24s

309: No Such Thing As The Best Bubble

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss get-fit schemes, bubble extremes, Norma Jeane, and an olm's routine. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
21/02/2045m 29s

308: No Such Thing As The Land Of Flying Sheep

Dan, Anne, Anna and Andrew discuss Ringo Starr's exorcism, driving with a pavlova, and the tiniest classified thing at GCHQ. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
14/02/2040m 19s

307: No Such Thing As EastEnders, The Opera

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the never-ending opera, whether worms are carbon neutral, and how Edgar Allan Poe helped to create Scrabble. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
07/02/2043m 7s

306: No Such Thing As Heavy Snuggle-Pupping

Dan, James, Anna and John Lloyd discuss correct gambling attire, the inventor of Vaseline, and Athens' sixteen thousand secret swimming pools. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
31/01/2046m 37s

305: No Such Thing As A Sentient Jelly

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the world's first electric cargo ship, jelly wobbliness testing Edison's near-miss with a flying badger. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
24/01/2039m 8s

304: No Such Thing As A Phantasmic Foot

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss parachuting beavers, why hotdogs are called hotdogs, and how your emails are warming the planet. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
17/01/2048m 28s

303: No Such Thing As Suckling's Column

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss 11th century rental eels, Nelson's lesser-known brother, and how to break into Alcatraz. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
10/01/2051m 11s

302: No Such Thing As A Hedgehog Circus

Happy New Year! Enjoy a  bumper compilation of deleted bits from 2019 - all the facts, flubs and terrible terrible puns that somehow didn't make the edit. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
03/01/201h 21m

Audiobook Of The Year 2019 Preview

A clip from the audiobook version of the latest Book Of The Year instalment - buy it now from audible.com! Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
27/12/1929m 32s

301: No Such Thing As The Queen's Christmas Burlesque

Merry Fishmas! Live from Birmingham, Dan, James Anna and Andrew discuss the earliest known pornography, Mariah Carey's Christmas tree, and how a poodle saved the Queen's speech. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
25/12/1948m 1s

300: No Such Thing As Swimming In The Sky

Live at the Heinz Oberhummer Award ceremony in Vienna, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss edible sleds, the first attempt at laser eye surgery, and our shithole universe. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
20/12/1958m 56s

299: No Such Thing As A Conscientious Brunette

Live from Washington D.C., Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the goats that guard Reagan's library, poppy field crop circles, and which Apollo moon landing was faked. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
13/12/1952m 49s

298: No Such Thing As An Emotional Support Amoeba

Live from New York, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Hornigold the pirate, support animals for other animals, and why the French can't decide on what to call a pencil.
06/12/1946m 5s

297: No Such Thing As A Shrimp Conga

Live from New York, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the loudest birds on earth, the astronaut who ate shrimp cocktail 48 times in a row, and who really gave us all syphilis. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
29/11/1940m 24s

296: No Such Thing As A Glowing Ballet Dancer

Live from Philadelphia, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss crash test moose, radioactive slippers, and the multi-presidential inventor of chewing gum. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
22/11/1942m 59s

295: No Such Thing As A 200m Baguette

Live from Boston, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Bastard baguettes Saddam Hussein's campaign song, and the first ever criminal to be put in Boston's stocks. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
15/11/1942m 32s

294: No Such Thing As A 15-Hour Working Week

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss hand-drawn stockings, raccoon-damaged temples, and the doomsday aircraft destroyed by a single bird. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
08/11/1953m 25s

293: No Such Thing As A Sexy Ceiling Fan

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss prehistoric sippy-cups, Rasputin's litigious assassins, and the coolest ever publicity stunt. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
01/11/1952m 18s

292: No Such Thing as a Blatant Plug for the Book of the Year 2019

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss four facts taken from The Book Of The Year 2019, including Greta Thunberg's adventurous middle name, the polling station with only one voter, and the worst way to dispose of a speeding ticket. The Book Of The Year 2019 is out now! Amazon:https://www.amazon.co.uk/Book-Year-2019-Such-Thing/dp/1786332019 Apple Books: https://books.apple.com/gb/book/the-book-of-the-year-2019/id1462378633 Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
24/10/1951m 58s

291: No Such Thing As A Quintruple-Cooked Chip

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss marrying chips, geese-rearing astronauts and the restaurant with tables in two different countries.
18/10/1953m 35s

290: No Such Thing As A Winter Fax Machine

Alex, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Tolstoy's hat-wearing habits, nuclear-powered icebreakers (literal, not conversational) and how to hack a fax from the moon.
11/10/1955m 46s

289: No Such Thing As A Horse Called Brian

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss leaping maggots, the point of motion sickness and why you shouldn't put on too much red lipstick. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
04/10/1945m 41s

288: No Such Thing As An Elephant In The Airport

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss elephantine super-sniffing, Thomas Jefferson's version of the Bible, and André the Giant's all-night bender. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
27/09/1948m 16s

287: No Such Thing As Pets In Heaven

Live from Antwerp, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss diamond vacuums, North Korean app stores, and what happens when you give an elephant a gold enema. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
20/09/1939m 57s

286: No Such Thing As A Banana With Wifi

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the invention of ball pits, a fisherman's unluckiest fruit, and how the internet was nearly  called The Information Mine. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
13/09/1936m 34s

285: No Such Thing As Giving Birth Up A Climbing Wall

Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss special mud for baseball, why YouTube was invented, and Brazilian caesarian section parties. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
06/09/1949m 26s

284: No Such Thing As Salty Yeti Bones

Live from Paris, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss odour-analysing t-shirts, New York under meteor attack, and self-pricking porcupines. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
30/08/1938m 48s

283: No Such Thing As A Lost Shadow

Live from Geneva, Dan, James Anna and Andrew discuss selling shadows, exploding aphids and the emerging blimp driving industry. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for news about live shows, merchandise and more episodes.
23/08/1938m 26s

282: No Such Thing As A Bored Shrew

Live from Copenhagen, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss Bjorn Borg's karate-tennis instructor, singing teachers for canaries, and what happens when a shrew gets brain-freeze.
16/08/1942m 2s

281: No Such Thing As A Chatty Cow

Live from Amsterdam, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss how to clean warship guns, the anti-Valentine's march, and interviewing a cow.
09/08/1938m 19s

280: No Such Thing As A Permanently Latvian Bear

Live from Oslo, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss medically-induced drunkenness, how to avoid being eaten by wolves on holiday, and what happens if you go clubbing with millipedes.
02/08/1941m 30s

279: No Such Thing As A Backflipping Doctor

Live from Berlin, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss chicken lifeguards, carrot concrete and the most-signed birthday card in history.
26/07/1940m 35s

278: No Such Thing As A Herring-Okapi Hybrid

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Richard Herring discuss Hitler's feet, greeting hyenas and George III in a house on fire.
19/07/1949m 17s

277: No Such Thing As An Elephant Polo Rider In A Sombrero

Live from Stockholm, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Swedish cyborgs, swimming pools for horses, and self-destructing Game Of Thrones scripts.
12/07/1939m 28s

276: No Such Thing As A Ninja With A Cat

Live from Gothenburg, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss ninja snorkelling, Spiderman's fall from a traffic light, and waiting at a train station for 120 years.
05/07/1940m 19s

275: No Such Thing As A Squashed Microbe

Live from Oxford, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss lethal hippopotamus poo, ice cream-making warplanes, and how to avoid upsetting microbes.
28/06/1946m 2s

274: No Such Thing As A Polite Baby

Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Japanese musical floorboards, how much meat is in a Pepperami, and where you'll find the rudest babies.
21/06/1943m 20s

273: No Such Thing As A Scuba Diver Covered With Meat

Live from Sheffield, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss urine-tasting, relocating entire buildings and the thing that's more painful to tread on than fire.
14/06/1937m 44s

272: No Such Thing As A Non-Judgemental Herring

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the world's most fashionable accountant, disapproval-based herring migration, and the invention of veganism.
07/06/1944m 5s

271: No Such Thing As A Safe Robot

Live from Birmingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss underwater dog treadmills, hitchhiking robots, and the late, late Elizabeth Taylor.
31/05/1937m 54s

270: No Such Thing As BIG SHERLOCK HOLMES

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss the Mona Lisa's wandering eye, coffee cups that grow on trees, and ancient Roman earlobe specialists.
24/05/1939m 24s

269: No Such Thing As Singing The Sport

Live from Salford, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss canine height restrictions, finch bite quotients, and the Manchester Of The East.
17/05/1938m 3s

268: No Such Thing As Welsh Guinness

Live from Dublin, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss miniature miniature trains, bees in mourning, and unholy transplants.
10/05/1945m 33s

267: No Such Thing As Mission Impossible For Slugs

Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss superglued frogs, how to get into an Ancient Turkish house, and the Oscar won by nobody.
03/05/1935m 37s

266: No Such Thing As An Innocent Pisces Sign

Live from Cardiff, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Comic Sans engravings, nut products with no nuts, and transient jellyfish anuses.
26/04/1939m 46s

265: No Such Thing As A Hole In The Bowl

Live from Redruth, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss Disney-themed punishment, grandfather clocks, and George Eliot's massive right hand.
19/04/1939m 46s

264: No Such Thing As Bikes In Space

Live from Barnstaple, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss live scarecrows, the first ever caravan holiday, and the billionaire with only three things to say.
12/04/1935m 18s

263: No Such Thing As Millipede Lipbalm

Live from Cambridge, Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss silk-spinning goats, the invention of the scooter, and millipede PR problems.
05/04/1935m 37s

262: No Such Thing As A Man In A Wine Bottle

Live from the Eventim Apollo in Hammersmith, Dan, James. Anna and Andy discuss time-travelling swordfish, the actor who reviewed his own plays, and Waddington's cattle semen trading board game.
29/03/1935m 25s

261: No Such Thing As A Chocolate Train

Live from Uffculme, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss chocolate gramophones, licking your own forehead and Icelandic sheep dating.
22/03/1938m 12s

260: No Such Thing As A Giant War Sausage

Live from Aberdeen, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the banning of sliced bread, broken turtle penises and muscly bums.Episode 260 - No Such Thing As A Giant War Sausage
15/03/1934m 5s

259: No Such Thing As Flyagra

Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Andrew and Anna discuss fly dating, 69ing on American roadways, and predicting the future with asparagus
08/03/1936m 30s

258: No Such Thing As A Brutally Honest Yoga Mat

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss plumbing detectives, guinea pigs in the freezer, and the Head of Cybersecurity who's never used a computer.
01/03/1942m 44s

257: No Such Thing As A Squilkman

Dan, James, Anna and Andrew discuss kissing hedgehogs, the time on Saturn, and competitive ploughing.
22/02/1935m 23s

256: No Such Thing As A Puddle Photographer

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss flirty cuttlefish, rooster beer and the best weather for starting a business.
15/02/1939m 53s

255: No Such Thing As A Bouncy Asteroid

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss skimming meteors, snowy bacteria, and incorrectly formatted declarations of war.
08/02/1944m 35s

254: No Such Thing As A Toilet In The Car

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss gingerbread in the toilet, the invention of wing mirrors, and silent movie bags.
01/02/1934m 53s

253: No Such Thing As Dolphins At The United Nations

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss talking NASA dolphins, Robert Louis Stevenson's death and how any parents have a favourite child.
25/01/1940m 11s

252: No Such Thing As The Shark Tooth Fairy

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss baby sharks, bankrupt lottery winners, and the city where the streets are paved with used toilet paper.
18/01/1940m 34s

251: No Such Thing As An Accidental George

Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss undercover restaurant reviewers, weightlifting cockroaches, and what to pack for a trip on the Orient Express.
11/01/1944m 3s

250: No Such Thing As The Mysterious Chamber

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss demolishing the Great Pyramid of Giza, with the WWF logo is a panda, and psychopathic teenage angst.
04/01/1943m 53s

249: No Such Thing As A Pint Of Wine

A compilation of the best deleted bits from the last year of Fish. Happy New Year!
28/12/1836m 28s

Merry Christmas from Dan, James, Anna and Andy

Merry Christmas! Here's a bonus extract from the The Audiobook of The Year 2018, available to download. Visit nosuchthingasafish.com for more.
25/12/1840m 51s

248: No Such Thing As The Shatner Bunny

Live from Union Chapel, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the world's oldest krill, the £20 million bed, and the Christmas decorations that go up in September.
21/12/1844m 2s

247: No Such Thing As Footprints On The Sea

Anna, James, Andy and Ed discuss whistling oysters, Captain Cook's goat, and King Lear's happy ending.
14/12/1841m 7s

246: No Such Thing As The Worm Revolution

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Royal Anagrammist, the man from M.O.U.L.D, and Darwin's publisher's not-so-helpful notes.
07/12/1850m 1s

245: No Such Thing As The Very Sexy Caterpillar

Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the police force made up of criminals, why mice walk so loudly, and the world's first crossword.
30/11/1838m 24s

244: No Such Thing As A Fishman

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Stephen Fry discuss frogs with regional accents, Canada's official tagline, and streaking in museums.
23/11/181h 15m

243: No Such Thing As Jean-Paul Sartre's Crabs

Live from the Union Chapel in London, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snail backpacks, the band from space, and Alexander Graham Bell's talking dog.
16/11/1852m 27s

242: No Such Thing As The Ancient Monty Python Dynasty

Live from York, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss scaring moths out of the sky, Sir Walter Raleigh's improv act, and why a robot would say 'poop'.
09/11/1854m 3s

241: No Such Thing As Tom Cruise In A Manger

Live from Nottingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Nativity with celebrities, giraffes with asthma, and chucking hospital patients into a bush.
01/11/1846m 39s

240: No Such Thing As An Easy Tweet

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Maxïmo Park frontman Paul Smith discuss banned bananas, earthquake-sensing belts, and the Great Lost Massive Toilet Of London.
26/10/1853m 52s

239: No Such Thing As The Queen Maaaaaaary

Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss why wombats have the best bums, how to build an extension on a cruise liner and Who Do You Think You Are?'s rejected celebrities.
19/10/1832m 5s

238: No Such Thing As A Low Sofa

Dan, Andy, Anna and Anne discuss the world's worst poetry recital, where all the world's hazelnuts go, and the first ever advert on Channel 5.
12/10/1834m 13s

237: No Such Thing As A Closed-Minded Tortoise

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss facial recognition for chickens, the whales older than Moby Dick, and the European Space Agency's rockin' sound system.
05/10/1842m 13s

236: No Such Thing As A Brie Sculpture

Anna, James, Andy and special guest Alex Edelman discuss illegal canoe practices, the funniest poo joke in history and Henry VIII's favourite pudding.
28/09/1845m 14s

235: No Such Thing As Trousers For Spiders

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss how to make spiders less scary, the oldest message in a bottle, and unusual features of the Mastermind chair.
21/09/1839m 3s

234: No Such Thing As The Lemur Police

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss earwax grubs, armadillo sex and selfies with sunflowers.
14/09/1846m 6s

233: No Such Thing As A Sexy Question Mark

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Beefeaters' birthdays, Roman ice and metal umlauts.
07/09/1848m 14s

232: No Such Thing As A Seven Foot Bond

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spiders with eyeliner, biblical teeth gnashing, and the sumo wrestler with silicone in his scalp.
31/08/1834m 59s

231: No Such Thing As A 24-Minute Podcast

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss the first ever stripper to jump out of a cake, the Queen of Sweden's business cards, and why holding your breath underwater is cheating.
24/08/1824m 3s

230: No Such Thing As Tinder For Sloths

Live from the Wilderness Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss how the Macarena could save your life, the secret penis code in the Bayeux Tapestry, and the one thing more painful than childbirth (for sloths).
17/08/1836m 14s

229: No Such Thing As The Great Modesto

Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss gold in the sewers, Robert Burn's homemade ink, and why Sweden's highest point isn't any more.
10/08/1837m 21s

228: No Such Thing As Seatbelts On Your Sofa

Not live and not from Bristol, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss indoor hot air balloon shows, McBaseball and what you'll find inside a giraffe's armpit.
03/08/1833m 6s

227: No Such Thing As A More Ambitious Crossover Event In History

Live (partly at least) from the Wellington Opera House, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss how to birth a lamb, the most niche Netflix categories, and Elton John's travel arrangements.
27/07/1849m 5s

226: No Such Thing As A Turtle Painting The Ceiling

Live from Auckland, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss painting pants on portraits, why Moscow's politicians don't kiss each other, and how often men really think about sex.
20/07/1846m 15s

225: No Such Thing As An Interesting Riddle

Live from the Sydney Opera House, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss BBC stock orgies, being buried with a chicken and why you might cycle the Olympic marathon.
13/07/1845m 25s

224: No Such Thing As Mixed-Species Martial Arts

Live from Brisbane, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spider wrestling, policemen dressed as statues, and Ozzy Osbourne's no-so-last tour.
06/07/1844m 9s

223: No Such Thing As A Worthless Doorstop

Live from Melbourne, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss death by meteorite, the Manhatt-ant and the downhill history of the slinky.
29/06/1840m 56s

222: No Such Thing As A Warmongering Pigeon

Live from Melbourne, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss superloud fish sex, taxiing to a war zone and why these facts probably aren't true.
22/06/1841m 32s

221: No Such Thing As A Fully Carpeted Country

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Alan Davies discuss the street value of football sticker albums, anti-diving shin pads and instructional chat-up pamphlets for Argentinian footballers.
14/06/1830m 56s

220: No Such Thing As A Million Dots

Anna, James, Andy and other James discuss bouliganism, flying on Titan, and tiny, tiny wasps.Episode 220 - No Such Thing As A Million Dots
08/06/1846m 11s

219: No Such Thing As Jeremiah Wingdings

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss cosmetic surgery for Fish, how to get the edge in the Tour de France, and competitive typesetting.
01/06/1844m 52s

218: No Such Thing As Tennis On The Moon

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss cavemen living on the moon, Victorian reaction times, and the mystery of The Mystery Of Edwin Drood.
25/05/1853m 8s

217: No Such Thing As A Trapezium-Shaped Hankie

Live from Liverpool, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss bob.com, how to eat an avocado, and what the Ancient Greeks used for toilet paper.
18/05/1836m 22s

216: No Such Thing As A Lobster War

Live from Perth, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the most annoying man in history, the regretful inventor of the Australian labradoodle, and how lobsters nearly started a war.
11/05/1835m 38s

215: No Such Thing As A Chihuahua Dog Sled Team

Live from Dublin, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the monumental conception of Victor Hugo, when North Korea is the safest place to be, and why you should bring 600 pairs of shoes to a dog sled race.
04/05/1844m 50s

214: No Such Thing As A Criminal In A Fabulous Hat

Dan, James, Andy and special guest Original Elf Molly Oldfield discuss blue whale birthing, ceramic pillows and how to cast for a police line-up.
27/04/1836m 41s

213: No Such Thing As Panda Gladiators

Live from Reading, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the world's first waterskier, Harvard for pandas, and the the record-holding mat holder called Matt Hand.
20/04/1845m 4s

212: No Such Thing As A Hipster Pharaoh

Live from Belfast, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss smuggling pasta, the Queen's tri-annual review and the designer chickens of Silicon Valley.
13/04/1844m 9s

211: No Such Thing As A Photograph Of A River

Live from Edinburgh, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss dinner party etiquette for 5-year-olds, ugly American shoes and divorcées falling down the stairs.
06/04/1847m 31s

210: No Such Thing As A Sheep's Bedside Table

Live from Leeds, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss sheep in a lift, the cocktail-endorsing pope, and why the RAF have banned Tunnocks Teacakes.
30/03/1837m 35s

209: No Such Thing As A Sexy Black Hole

Live from Glasgow, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss denim arson, and why 1p on the ground isn't worth anything.
23/03/1841m 35s

208: No Such Thing As A Female Egg Thief

Live from Oxford, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss the man with an egg stuck in his mouth, Lost Wife posters and Edward VII's driving-drink.
23/03/1836m 25s

207: No Such Thing As Harry Potter And The Great Overreaction

Live from Brighton, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss suspended babies, computer-generated sweet nothings, and the man who waters his house every day.
09/03/1838m 30s

206: No Such Thing As A Pig In Court

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Victorian fern mania, why stripes are a fashion crime and ice golf championships.
02/03/1841m 21s

205: No Such Thing As The Number Six

Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss ski lift thefts, the world's largest wine cellar and what would happen if all the bacteria disappeared in the world.
23/02/1848m 48s

204: No Such Thing As A Mean Butterfly

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Great Maple Syrup Robbery, a musical Russian invasion and the great Greek god Doris.
16/02/1841m 3s

203: No Such Thing As A Muscular Butterfly

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the secret Matrix sushi recipes, why our skin doesn't leak and butterfly sperm trickery.
09/02/1838m 56s

202: No Such Thing As A Deadly Birthday Cake

Live from Coventry, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss trousers for horses, swimming the Atlantic, and why the inventor of basketball was so bad at teaching it.
02/02/1843m 11s

201: No Such Thing As Lobsters At The Lobster Festival

Live from Dunstable, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss King Ferdinand's Orient Express phobia, the giant magnet roaming Glastonbury and Foyle's unorthodox method of wartime shop defence.
26/01/1850m 36s

200: No Such Thing As A Jigsaw For The Queen

Live from Birmingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the squatting Queen impersonator, misplace nuclear launch codes, and the statue in Belgium commemorating Peter the Great's sick.
19/01/1851m 33s

199: No Such Thing As An Heroic Fire-Goat

Live from Leicester, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss meerkats' inside-out bottoms, California's imprisoned firefighters, and the risk of finding a golf ball in your crisps.
12/01/1838m 30s

198: No Such Thing As Cleopatra Movie Trivia

Live from Up The Creek In Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the dead author under the bed, the first ever sports bra, and Poopy the Ambassador.
06/01/1847m 54s

No Such Thing As Wasted Material 2017

All the outtakes and deleted bits from Fish 2017. Happy In-between-Christmas-and-New-Year-bit!
29/12/171h 19m

Merry Fishmas!

A special Christmas Day extract from the audiobook version of The Book Of The Year.
25/12/1738m 22s

197: No Such Thing As Eurovision For Christmas Trees

A special Christmas episode with Dan, James, Anna and Andy, live from Up The Creek in Greenwich
22/12/1736m 30s

196: No Such Thing As Faking The Magic Dream

Live from Wimbledon, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss what makes flamingos pink, Cape Canaveral's dialling code, and the secret dream that lets you keep bees in the mountains.
15/12/1736m 16s

195: No Such Thing As A Hummingbird With A Greggs Steak Bake

Live from Manchester, Dan, James, Anna And Andy discuss how much Coke a human-sized hummingbird would drink, the world's first rollercoaster, and American grocery bag-packing competitions.
08/12/1735m 29s

194: No Such Thing As An Orange Crocodile

Live from Nottingham, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss green robins, Lenin’s unexpected accent and the Nottingham cheese riots.
01/12/1735m 2s

193: No Such Thing As Death By Conga

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss testifying in court through a window, the ant nests made of ants, and book the size of postage stamps.
25/11/1743m 59s

192: No Such Thing As A Restaurant Menu For Hats

Live from Cardiff, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss listening to the radio with your hat on, the useless mating call of the pumpkin toadlet, and salmon-shaped mountains.
17/11/1741m 8s

191: No Such Thing As A Cannibal Squirrel

Live from Bath, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Calvin Coolidge's robotic horse, the inventor of email, and the language it's easiest to speak while drunk.
10/11/1744m 0s

190: No Such Thing As A Magic Oven For Chimps

Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss British boomerangs, primate rock-paper-scissors, and why the Catalans are so anti-cat.
03/11/1737m 47s

189: No Such Thing As A Meringue-Utan

Live from the Cheltenham Literature Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Queen's nickname, the man beaten in a marathon by a tumble dryer, and the anus that is Making America Great Again.
01/11/1733m 30s

188: No Such Thing As A Mouth-Propelled Grenade Launcher

Live from Newcastle, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Mo Farah's only Guinness World Record, what's inside a Kit Kat, and how hamsters arrived in the UK.
27/10/1735m 57s

187: No Such Thing As An Ant On Its Gap Year

Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss how to get ants drunk, the stolen cities in China, and The Sound Of Julie Andrews Being Blown Over By A Helicopter.
20/10/1740m 51s

186: No Such Thing As Russian Hacking in the Cockroach Election

Anna, James, Andy and Alice discuss portable bridges, sneeze-based votes, and why you can't detect magnets with your mind.
13/10/1730m 48s

185: No Such Thing As Scottish Snow

Andy, Anna, James and special guest Cariad Lloyd discuss Unity Mitford's BFFs, how planes (don't) cure deafness, and why you shouldn't eat Scottish show.
06/10/1745m 18s

184: No Such Thing As Dinosaur Diaries

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snakes that eat snakes, mathematical street performers, and the celebrity most likely to give you a virus.
29/09/1739m 41s

183: No Such Thing As A Bouncy Theatre

Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss how to drive a submarine, Gainsborough's 6-foot-long paintbrushes, and where 1% of all the world's wood goes.
22/09/1732m 11s

182: No Such Thing As An Auction For Auction School

Dan, Anna, Andy and special guest Jason Hazeley discuss the British Lawnmover Museum, questionnaires for narcissists, how Christie's auctioneers get over their nerves.
15/09/1732m 0s

181: No Such Thing As A Shark Vending Machine

Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss Spielberg's Great White Turd, maverick train carriages and how bird always know when they're in Aberdeen.
08/09/1735m 2s

180: No Such Thing As Playing Snake On A Plane

Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss Hitler's Beatles cameo, how lobsters fly, and the most surprising place to find John Goodman.
01/09/1732m 15s

179: No Such Thing As Stare-Boxing

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss mail-order portraits, the first ever Encyclopaedia Britannica, and the country with only five star hotels.
25/08/1731m 46s

178: No Such Thing As A Cup Full Of Nessie

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss your amazing expanding liver, the land of ex-presidents, and scientists disguised as mooses...or is that meese?
18/08/1741m 28s

177: No Such Thing As A Barking Spy

Live from the Wilderness Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the invention of crowd barriers, bombs that lecture their victims, and Volkswagen's biggest product [hint: it's not cars].
11/08/1741m 47s

176: No Such Thing As A Communist Caterpillar

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss vomiting caterpillars, quarantined chocolate, and Russian news that's literally stored in the cloud.
04/08/1739m 15s

175: No Such Thing As A Rice Krispie With Feelings

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss expert plastic sushi artists, the world's first bendy straws, and how fake dog noses help detect bombs.
28/07/1745m 29s

174: No Such Thing As A Manta Ray

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss competitive tongue injuring, the popemobile for hire and Bogotan traffic mimes.
21/07/1743m 42s

173: No Such Thing As Symphony For Sizzurp In D Minor

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss weather-forecasting rainbows, Mexico's artistic tax policy and the mandatory Big Book of Tennis Rules.
14/07/1743m 17s

172: No Such Thing As A Cat-a-Cops Cartoon

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the police force for dead people, Indonesia's KFC CDs and Chinese mistress-dispellers.
07/07/1750m 32s

171: No Such Thing As A Half-Ape Vampire

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the man behind human chess, Agatha Christie's untranslatable book and deceitful camemberts.
30/06/1738m 45s

170: No Such Thing As A Love Potion For A Vole

Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss stinking ice, smart seeds and the world's greatest fly swatters.
23/06/1742m 30s

169: No Such Thing As Constantly Awake Beauty

Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss synchronised blinking, the ants the size of foxes, and nocturnal apple-counting robots.
16/06/1739m 41s

168: No Such Thing As Lord Cauldronhead

In a special episode covering the 2017 general election, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss policies regarding yetis, the underwater constituency, and (of course) the election in Kenya.
09/06/1739m 47s

167: No Such Thing As Milk From A Yak

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the growing Tibetan butter sculpting crisis, how to email a tree, and what to do with the world's hottest chilli (hint: don't eat it).
02/06/1742m 41s

166: No Such Thing As A Courgette In Your Ear

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss chicken egg orientation, drawing on your ear drums, and the Georgian garden of celebrity trees.
26/05/1745m 8s

165: No Such Thing As A Spider The Size Of A Sheep

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Wright brothers’ first flight, China’s latest speed limits, and why poo on a table may be further away than it appears.
19/05/1730m 30s

164: No Such Thing As A Poo Powered Plane

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss second-hand spacesuits, Jeremy Corbyn's luxuriant beard, and North Korea's flying taxi service.
11/05/1746m 20s

163: No Such Thing As Too Fast For A Fish

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest John Hodgman discuss draining the sea, why the Titanic really sunk, and how most of Britain isn't really in Britain.
05/05/1751m 38s

162: No Such Thing As Catastrophic Shoelaces

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the problem with HMS Victory, the science behind shoelaces and the age-old question of hobnob production.
28/04/1747m 47s

161: No Such Thing As A Magic Donkey

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the first ever lie detector, a robotic Cleopatra and the world's largest exporter of false teeth.
21/04/1738m 14s

160: No Such Thing As A Sausage Jacuzzi

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss snail spas, the world's largest porch swings, and the least practical way to wash clothes.
13/04/1745m 18s

159: No Such Thing As An Edible Jockey

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss falcon sex caps, a 73-year-old superhuman swimmer, and the morning routine of a seahorse.
07/04/1738m 35s

158: No Such Thing As A Weasel's Fridge

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the intricacies of Indian washing machines, ghost-hunting in GCHQ and why ferret racing is such a snooze-fest.
31/03/1743m 45s

157: No Such Thing As High-Fiving The Beatles

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the first ever high-five, an iceberg storage facility in Antarctica and how to put make-up on in space.
24/03/1740m 56s

156: No Such Thing As A Limited Edition

Dan, Anna, Andy and special guest Dr Erica McAlister discuss sperm whale-sized sperm, real-life Home Alone security measures, and why you've never really heard Churchill's famous speeches.
17/03/1739m 25s

155: No Such Thing As Hurricane Schmurricane

Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich to celebrate the third birthday of the podcast, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the weirdest storm name suggestions, President Johnson's johnson shower and the Old People Forecast
10/03/1738m 3s

154: No Such Thing As A Submarine Shepherd

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the UK's noisiest warships, how glow-worms go fishing and what happened to the world's first cannabis smokers.
03/03/1741m 30s

153: No Such Thing As Mulled Wine At The Dawn Of Time

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aphrodisiac sorbet, non-flammable newspapers and the world's Scilliest soccer teams.
24/02/1738m 50s

152: No Such Thing As A Sleepover With Lions

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss self-consuming breasts, eating lions' leftovers, and why we're thirty seconds closer to the end of the world.
17/02/1743m 17s

151: No Such Thing As A Komodo Dragon Restaurant

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss garlic-flavoured chocolate bars, Komodo dragon puberty and and why you don't want to french kiss a frog.
10/02/1737m 2s

150: No Such Thing As A Helium Filled Pufferfish

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the bits of Earth on the Moon, venom-swiping slugs, and when Mount Rushmore will finally be finished.
03/02/1737m 33s

149: No Such Thing As The Train King Of Europe

Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss boot camp for trains, celebrity camels, and why Shell send sea shells back to the sea shore.
27/01/1734m 52s

148: No Such Thing As A Plummeting Moose

Andy, James, Anna and Alex discuss helicopter dung attacks, Sesame Street's Donald Trump and the best way to cover the smell of urine.
20/01/1729m 3s

147: No Such Thing As Burrito Party Boy

Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss the unluckiest politician in the world, the elephant on the River Thames, and the best way of getting invited to Buckingham Palace.
13/01/1737m 24s

146: No Such Thing As A Queen Orca

Dan, James, Andy and special guest Sara Pascoe discuss sympathetic pregnancy, the world's most famous umbrellas and the surprisingly romantic life of coral.
06/01/1748m 32s

No Such Thing As A Fish - Extra Bits

A compilation episodes of bits there weren't time for in the 2016 episodes of No Such Thing As A Fish. Happy New Year!
30/12/1633m 13s

145: No Such Thing as E.T. Part Three

A Christmas compilation episode in which Dan, James, Anna and Andy take facts from the audiences of Fish's spin-off topical news show No Such Thing As The News.
23/12/1630m 39s

144: No Such Thing As Garlic Superman

Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss historical ham sandwiches, edible passwords and why Jupiter is shrinking.
16/12/1634m 32s

143: No Such Thing As Chariots in Space

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss placebo pharmacies, Britain's 17th century space program, and the robot that cheats at Rock, Paper, Scissors.
09/12/1631m 35s

142: No Such Thing As Edward Binbag-Hands

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aeroplane-chasing bumblebees, spiky penises, and the weighing scales in the Oval Office.
02/12/1633m 39s

141: No Such Thing As Ancient Roman Pictionary

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the wisdom of Wisden, life in an elephant's footprint and why to strive for that 'classic poo look'.
25/11/1641m 56s

140: No Such Thing As Books For Pirate-Children

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ancient greek bathtubs, badgers on submarines and the logistics of Santa's Naughty and Nice List.
18/11/1642m 19s

139: No Such Thing As A Lobster Nappy

Live from the London Podcast Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Evel Knievel's jail time, the complete history of turtle soup, and a telescope too big to use.
12/11/1637m 17s

138: No Such Thing As Fluff Island

Andy, Anna, Alex and special guest Ed Brooke-Hitching discuss left-handed snails, non-existent islands and the White House press-pit-swimming-pool.
04/11/1637m 7s

137: No Such Thing As Churchill's Secret Parrot

Andy, Anna, James and Anne discuss Coca Cola copycat companies, places where compasses don't work and the dangers of farting on a plane.
28/10/1639m 26s

136: No Such Thing As A Wolf Diving For Clams

Anna, Andy, Piers Fletcher and Justin Pollard discuss Samuel Pepys's porn stash, boiling swimming pools and a sixty-year-long life hack to owning beachfront property.
21/10/1636m 9s

135: No Such Thing As Queen Of Clean, The Sausage Machine

Dan, Anna, Andy and Alex discuss animal babysitters, supermarket laser tag, and the best party in the history of the world.
14/10/1641m 20s

134: No Such Thing As Sauce For The King Of Sweden

Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss virtual grouse shooting, stolen Van Gogh paintings and what happens after you win a Nobel Prize.
07/10/1635m 56s

133: No Such Thing As Paranoid Ants

Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss ants in frogs, upside-down perception, and the best way to watch a presidential debate.
30/09/1636m 43s

132: No Such Thing As A Creepy Weather Forecaster

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss computer-playing cars, fratricidal kookaburras and what paper was first used for.
23/09/1645m 17s

131: No Such Thing As Walking The Life Jacket

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss duct tape for ducks, duck tape for ducts, Duck duct tape and ducks in ducts. And ducts.
16/09/1641m 18s

130: No Such Thing As Train Jam

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss toe wrestling championships, the ghost of Arthur Conan Doyle, and trains armed with lasers.
09/09/1637m 39s

129: No Such Thing As Jack The Stripper

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss hummingbird capes, spacesuits for ants, and the origin of the ballpoint pen.
02/09/1635m 30s

128: No Such Thing As A Million Dollar Bill

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss glow-in-the-dark fungi, presidential putters and reasons for spying your neighbours.
26/08/1635m 42s

127: No Such Thing As 'Carry On Colliding'

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss man-made earthquakes, the world's least favourite font, and how this episode will end up on the moon.
19/08/1631m 22s

126: No Such Thing As A Boy Called Blclintn

Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss literal sexual magnetism, Olympic races for old ladies, and all the children named after Tony Blair.
12/08/1634m 46s

125: No Such Thing As An Upside-Down Grand Prix

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss forte-pianos, spring-loaded hairstyles, and the not-so-gentle lemur.
05/08/1632m 13s

124: No Such Thing As A Screaming Scream

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss railroad glow worms, Marx & Spencer, and kangaroos on trampolines.
29/07/1632m 36s

123: No Such Thing As A Molten Lava Football Pitch

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss synchronised heartbeats, how to barbecue with lava, and the people who only read Playboy for the articles.
22/07/1635m 9s

122: No Such Thing As A Sticky Shell Spoon

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss holey spoons, the speed of snow and how to get more milk from a cow.
15/07/1634m 37s

121: No Such Thing As The Sword In The Carbon Fibre

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss wood-sucking catfish, wizard prison, and Ancient Egyptian butchers.
08/07/1633m 39s

120: No Such Thing As HMS Kevin

Live from the Udderbelly Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss houses made for burgling, flimsy warships and graffiti in the sky.
01/07/1634m 14s

119: No Such Thing As 4D Surgery

Dan, Anna, Andy and Steve Colgan discuss cage-reading, pigeons versus dinosaurs, and the schoolgirl spy from Devon.
24/06/1630m 47s

118: No Such Thing As Dinner On A Spider

This week Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss wristwatch thermometers, cheat codes for lifts, and glow-in-the-dark vomit.
16/06/1640m 37s

117: No Such Thing As Dr No Teeth

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Tim Minchin discuss performing racoons, blue hailstones, and the giant that provides constipation relief.
09/06/1638m 58s

116: No Such Thing As Notting Mountain

Dan, James, Anna and Alex discuss prehistoric butterflies, secret power stations, and Buddhist robots.
02/06/1642m 57s

115: No Such Thing As A Hummingbird Pilot

Anna, James, Andy and Anne discuss alarm clocks in space, ripped-off national anthems and crows holding grudges.
26/05/1637m 38s

114: No Such Thing As A Tantrump

Live from Up The Creek in Greenwich, and filmed as a pilot episode for QI's new BBC TV series No Such Thing As The News, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss elephant polo, robots replacing Royals, and everything that hasn't been discovered yet.
19/05/1631m 4s

113: No Such Thing As A Flycycle

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss underwater tailors, the overlord of all emojis, and the alphabet of the future.
13/05/1642m 32s

112: No Such Thing As A Lego Aircraft Carrier

Live from Edinburgh, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss jet plane catapults, the Hemline Index, and the world’s most expensive toilet paper.
06/05/1632m 57s

111: No Such Thing As Snappedy Chat

Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss personalised number plates, political sexting and the Queen's weirdest birthday presents.
29/04/1636m 48s

110: No Such Thing As A Dull Post Box

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Sara Pascoe discuss underwater postboxes, easily distracted hijackers and the Disney film all about menstruation.
22/04/1633m 40s

109: No Such Thing As A Speared Shrimp

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Belgian horseback fishing, flattop mountains and the world's first newspaper.
15/04/1633m 14s

108: No Such Thing As Samurai Olaf

Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss killer shrimps, poo-based space food, and handsome Japanese tear-wipers for hire.
08/04/1638m 21s

107: No Such Thing As Gorillas On The Beach

Live from Glasgow, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss spagnostic pastafarians, mystery pool pooers and the world's first speech bubble.
01/04/1637m 58s

106: No Such Thing As A Six-Tier Japanese Human Pyramid

Live from Bristol, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss colour-changing animals, caffeinated mushrooms and fashionable hay fever.
25/03/1634m 26s

105: No Such Thing As Pancakes For Perverts

Live from Newport, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss tweeting chickens, litigious hyenas and peer-reviewed romantic comedies.
18/03/1632m 1s

104: No Such Thing As A Herd Of Koalas

Live from Dave's Leicester Comedy Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss meteorwrongs, avian arsonists and the Norman Conquest of America.
11/03/1632m 36s

103: No Such Thing As A Boa Constructor

Live from City Varieties in Leeds, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss glass delusion, useful sphincters, and six foot tall otters.
04/03/1631m 55s

102: No Such Thing As A Water Mortar

Live from the Gulbenkian theatre in Canterbury, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss silly string, arrows in the air, frightened marmosets and the battle of the keyboards.
26/02/1628m 7s

101: No Such Thing As A Giant Robot Michael Jackson

Live from the Birmingham mac theatre, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss hedgehogs climbing walls, robots roaming deserts and cows wearing bras.
18/02/1632m 38s

100: No Such Thing As A Zillion And One

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Corey Taylor discuss noisy silent discos, squid holograms, and a trillion seconds of porridge for breakfast.
12/02/1641m 46s

99: No Such Thing As Bread Civilians

Live from the Birmingham mac theatre, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss sexy robots, samurai hairdressers and the world's oldest drive-through.
05/02/1635m 5s

98: No Such Thing As Planet George

Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Snowmageddon, the most planety planet, and the world's unluckiest lottery winner.
29/01/1634m 34s

97: No Such Thing As Andrew Diplodocus Carnegie

Dan, James, Andy and special guest Helen Arney discuss the length of a jiffy, accidental sonic booms and totally astounding, gobsmacking and singularly amazing discoveries.
22/01/1634m 27s

96: No Such Thing As A Touch Of Worms

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss the Chill Pill, Socrates' imaginary friend, and levitating fridges.
15/01/1633m 28s

95: No Such Thing As A Millipede Embassy

Anna, James, Andy and Alex discuss Roman pig-dragons, cross-border sex and walking worms.
08/01/1632m 55s

94: No Such Thing As Sexy Mucus Pajamas

Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss aircraft-building ferrets, yeti custody battles and presidential colonoscopies.
01/01/1634m 25s

93: No Such Thing As A Christmas Treenis

Glad SCHREIBings we bring to you and HARKIN! We wish you a MURRAY Christmas ANNA Happy New Year! In a special festive episode, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss fluffy velociraptors, glass Christmas trees and the oldest turkey in Britain.
25/12/1532m 58s

92: No Such Thing As A Frozen Chicken Haunting

Live from the Up The Creek Comedy Club in Greenwich, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss coughing giraffes, naked Roman ghosts, and why we should stop punching glass.
18/12/1536m 40s

91: No Such Thing As Apocalypse 1988

Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss the Double-Cross System, biblical puns, and a week with Willy the worm.
11/12/1538m 56s

90: No Such Thing As The Brilliant Billion

Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss Einstein's twitter account, where water comes from, and The Great Wall Of Sticky Rice.
04/12/1550m 46s

89: No Such Thing As Utah Fried Chicken

Live from The Junction in Cambridge, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss one-tree forests, car-henge, and death-defying ticket inspectors.
27/11/1535m 0s

88: No Such Thing As A Moon Sausage Bullet

Live from the Lyric Theatre in London, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss William Wordsworth's nickname, lettuce grown in space, and Van Gogh's new ear.
20/11/1532m 54s

No Such Thing As A Fish: The One Show Special

In this bonus episode recorded in the BBC's The One Show studios, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss huge holes, criminal kestrels and how to park a van on Pluto.
19/11/1527m 37s

87: No Such Thing As The Pajama Police

Live from The North Wall Arts Centre in Oxford, Dan, James Anna and Andy discuss mining for jeans, what Jesus really looked like, and the most famous snail in Britain.
13/11/1538m 46s

86: No Such Thing As Ghost Nipples

Dan, James, Andy and special guest Mark Mason discuss coronation attire, Ancient Egyptian pornography and competitive puddle-jumping.
06/11/1532m 0s

85: No Such Thing As Michelangelo's Snowman

Live from the Brighton Comedy Festival, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss naughty Popes, attractive picnic tables and "fun facts" about hawks.
30/10/1532m 55s

84: No Such Thing As A Donkumentary

Dan, Andy, Alex and special guest Dr Karl Kruszelnicki discuss dangerous ticks, millennium bugs and a newly discovered Bastard.
23/10/1534m 41s

83: No Such Thing As A Flying Sniffer Dog

Live from the Salford Lowry theatre, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss courageous cats, extreme parking, weird awards and moths' invisibility cloaks.
16/10/1535m 51s

82: No Such Thing As A Sentient Iceberg

Live from Up The Creek Comedy Club, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss ancient lost property offices, the Town Crier World Championships and how to make fire from ice.
09/10/1540m 51s

81: No Such Thing As Jellyfish Jelly

Anna, James, Alex and Anne discuss glow-in-the-dark animals, Dr Seuss’s secret war films and what happens when you Google something.
02/10/1525m 13s

80: No Such Thing As A Mousetrap-Remote-Control

Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss magnetic ham sandwiches, the original use for bubblewrap, and the world’s first vending machine.
25/09/1530m 4s

79: No Such Thing As A Sad High Five

Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss Scrabble's unlikely champion, why you shouldn't pick a fight a hairy frog & all the latest in itch news.
18/09/1540m 8s

78: No Such Thing As An Ugly Pair Of Eyes

Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss trophies for trophies, Napoleon’s favourite food and the original IMDb.
11/09/1535m 48s

77: No Such Thing As Pee-Bay

Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the history of buttons, White House squirrel problems and sewer-powered street lamps.
04/09/1540m 12s

76: No Such Thing As Mould Juice

Live from The Edinburgh Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the first ever eBay auction, poo-flavoured ice cream, and the what happened to Fleming's mould.
28/08/1530m 17s

75: No Such Thing As Diarrhoea Drive

Live from The Aces and Eights Bar in Tufnell Park, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss facts suggested from the audience, including blue margarine, superstrong beetles and car-driving monkey butlers.
21/08/1545m 52s

74: No Such Thing As A Computer In The Oval Office

Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss the early days of MI6, donkeys with WiFi, and the world's only handwritten newspaper.
14/08/1533m 49s

73: No Such Thing As A Useless Condom

Dan, James, Anna and Anne discuss the preparations for D-Day, secret library porn, and cannibalistic cane toads.
07/08/1536m 37s

72: No Such Thing As A Bacon Telescope

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the first pneumatic tubes, photosynthesising sea slugs, and the worst zoo in North Korea.
31/07/1533m 17s

71: No Such Thing As A Somersaulting Long Jumper

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss humans versus horses, where to get new eyelids, and why you should never drink with Alfred Hitchcock.
24/07/1538m 34s

70: No Such Thing As A Rat Multiborg

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the age old debate of ‘Nike’ versus ‘Nikey’, telepathic rats, and 90 super-gripping babies.
17/07/1533m 4s

69: No Such Thing As The Pamplona Guinea Pig Run

Dan, James, Andy and Alex discuss less famous Last Suppers, a guinea pig gynaecologist, and a crime writer who can't read.
10/07/1535m 3s

68: No Such Thing As A Friendly Face Fondle

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the famous last words, the secrets of flirting, and drinking porridge through a straw.
03/07/1529m 53s

67: No Such Thing As The Hoo-Hah Monologues

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Communist Irish bars, the decline of marvellousness and a quarantine for diseased rocks.
26/06/1533m 37s

66: No Such Thing As A Robotic Margaret Atwood

Dan, James, Andy and Anne discuss the fate of London's bendy buses, lifts with toilets, and century-long book deals.
19/06/1534m 51s

65: No Such Thing As A Chickenosaurus

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss celebrity dinosaurs, beards entering Mexico and the professor of LEGO.
12/06/1535m 52s

64: No Such Thing As An Honest Saiga

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss banana bombs, disappearing lakes and a church for zombies.
05/06/1529m 29s

63: No Such Thing As An Anti-German Sock

Live from the Hay Literary Festival, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the world's first novel, a Beatle as Gandalf, and the inventor of the television.
29/05/1536m 5s

62: No Such Thing As The Ugly Panda

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and special guest Rufus Hound discuss the origin of The Sooty Show, an omelette-cooking tightrope walker, and the shepherds running America.
22/05/1541m 23s

61: No Such Thing As Jesus's Magic Wand

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss Benjamin Franklin's massive bed, knife-wielding referees and the longest movie in the world.
15/05/1544m 49s

60: No Such Thing As An Unenjoyable Bowel Movement

Dan, James, Anna, Andy and QI creator John Lloyd discuss Iceland's last McDonalds burger, the science of ignorance, and sea battles at Sadler's Wells.
08/05/1534m 29s

59: No Such Thing As Old Mother Bastard

In a special UK General Election episode, Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss animal politicians, saunas in the Sinai desert, and the first 'thing' ever.
01/05/1544m 16s

58: No Such Thing As Van Gogh The Elephant

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss copyrighted bum-slaps, pickpockets with chopsticks, and Louis Armstrong's passion for laxatives.
24/04/1540m 23s

57: No Such Thing As A Hoverhorse

Dan, James, Anna and Andy discuss supersmog, horses on treadmills and impossible colours.
17/04/1536m 50s

56: No Such Thing As A Killer Tomato

Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss mad NASA projects, WW1 spy tactics, and an old, new enemy to all mankind.
10/04/1539m 27s

55: No Such Thing As Samurai Nail Clippers

Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss internet for plants, smoke jumpers and super-wet water.
03/04/1539m 57s

54: No Such Thing As Domesticated Furniture

Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss eccentric dinner parties, the most pointless scientific studies and what happens to tattoos when they die.
27/03/1537m 15s

53: No Such Thing As A 3000km Tall Statue Of Liberty

Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss X-ray sellotape, the world's oldest chewing gum, and why you should never put Skittles up your nose.
20/03/1541m 42s

52: No Such Thing As A Worthless Bucket Of Urine

Episode 52: Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss Tutankhamun's fashion choices, how to get ahead in a marathon, a city full of socks, and the most boring day ever.
13/03/1551m 11s

51: No Such Thing As Dodecahedral Shredded Wheat

Episode 51: Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the most common safe words, the lizard of Oz, and why the world's happiest man isn't happy.
06/03/1542m 47s

50: No Such Thing As Doing It Dinosaur-Style

Episode 50: Live at the Soho Theatre, Dan, James, Andy and Anna discuss the history of striptease, Hitler-shaped kettles, how to win a goat, and Anna's favourite table.
27/02/1544m 41s
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