The Gender Knot

2021 is giving 2020 a run for it’s money… sorry we’ve been away, but want to point you to a investigative podcast Nas put out recently for BBC Radio 4. It’s called The Orgasm Cult and looks at a Californian wellness company focusing on female sexuality called One Taste. Gwyneth Paltrow and Tim Ferris were fans. Except there are allegations it may be a sex cult. And the FBI is making enquiries.The podcast goes into questions about why women turn to wellness, the search for community and purpose in a secular age, and where exactly is the line between healing and harm. It’s on all major podcast platforms, or get listening right now here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p08xzk5h

We’re back with a bonus hiatus episode and we’re talking about victim blaming, especially as it pertains to sexual assault. This is when a victim of an alleged assault is blamed, ranging from being asked what they were wearing, if they’d drunk alcohol, all the way to people not believing their story. Sometimes friends also don’t know how to handle the situation so either engage in victim blaming or simply disappear. Nas recently made a documentary exploring the reasons behind victim blaming, and interviewed the NY Times’ Megan Twohey and Jodi Kantor, who broke the Harvey Weinstein story, as well as Gender Knot favourites Dr Mithu Sanyal and Dr Jackson Katz. Check it out here for background: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3csyv0q In this episode Nas and Dan talk about ways we can help victims instead. We’d also like to know your experiences if you’ve been in this scenario, as either a victim or someone being told of an assault, and any tips you have for how to help victims. We also talk about an excellent podcast from Slate you should check out called Man Up... check it out here: https://slate.com/podcasts/man-up We’re on hiatus and will be back with a new season in March. Keep writing to us until then. Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel Carroll Producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com https://www.thegenderknot.com/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

We close season 6 with journalist Liz Plank. She’s just written a book about mindful masculinity and tells us about the general scripts we have about men and if these help or hinder our wider conversations. We then delve into her thoughts more.We will be back with a new season in March 2020, and will pop up for some bonus episodes in January and February – share the show, leave reviews and write to us until then! And happy 2020!Guest:Liz Plank, journalist and author of ‘For the Love of Men: a vision for mindful masculinity’ http://www.elizabethplank.com/Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellWrite to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com https://www.thegenderknot.com/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

We revisit this important topic just once more to really hammer out the purpose of an apology and some dos and don’ts.We get some tips and insight from Harriet Lerner’s book ‘Why won’t you apologize?’ https://amzn.to/38hWsBzAs well as some wisdom from Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg’s powerful twitter threads which you can delve into further here http://bit.ly/344bnMg and here http://bit.ly/38nOszcHosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel Carroll Co-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Write to us at thegenderknot@gmail.comwww.thegenderknot.com Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

We talk a lot about what men can be doing right now, but we revisit a chat with Esther Perel on what women can be doing right now, and how we can all best be allies to one another. Guest:Esther Perel, therapist, author of ‘Mating in Captivity’ and ‘The State of Affairs’, host of the podcasts Where Should We Begin? and How’s work? Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel Carroll Co-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Write to us at thegenderknot@gmail.comwww.thegenderknot.com Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Everyone’s talking more about consent but where does this start? Educator Ellen Frederichs joins us to chat about how consent starts with kids and why we all need to be more specific about our experiences. Guest:Ellen Frederichs, educator and author of ‘Good Sexual Citizenship: how to create a (sexually) safer world” https://www.sexedvice.com/good-sexual-citizenshipHosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellWrite to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com https://www.thegenderknot.com/Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Journalist Hussein Kesvani writes a lot about the internet, and about masculinity, and about the intersection of the two. He recently interviewed people about apologies in a piece for The Huffington Post, focusing on men and their understanding of an apology and if many men have been taught how to give one. He was inspired after Aziz Ansari’s attempt at one with his recent Netflix show ‘Right Now’, which is when we at The Gender Knot also delved into this same question a few weeks ago.He joins us to explore this further, and we also re-visit Eve Ensler’s book ‘The Apology’ during our conversation. Check out Hussein's article on men and apologies for the Huffington Post http://bit.ly/2CSjn8g Guest:Hussein Kesvani: journalist, Europe editor at Mel magazine, and author of 'Follow me, Akhi: the online world of British Muslims' - buy it here: https://amzn.to/2OnMgOK and more on Hussein here: https://twitter.com/HKesvaniHosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel Carroll Co-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Write to us at thegenderknot@gmail.comwww.thegenderknot.com Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

We re-visit some wisdom from the sex and relationship advice columnist and host of the Savage LoveCast Dan Savage, who tells us what straight couples can learn from same sex couples. Guest:Dan Savage, sex and relationship advice columnist and Savage Lovecast host Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel Carroll Co-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Write to us at thegenderknot@gmail.comwww.thegenderknot.com Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Journalist and author of the book ‘For the Love of Men: a vision for mindful masculinity’ tells us about meeting women who support who Trump, and what this tells us about our attitudes towards men and the role women play in upholding these. We also find out about Dan’s backstory on this show, and how we can all take things a bit less personally.Also, the Grace Digital Founders Campus app has all the tools female business founders need to succeed. Go and pledge your support here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/grace-digitalcampus/grace-digital-founders-campusGuest:Liz Plank, journalist and author of ‘For the Love of Men: a vision for mindful masculinity’ http://www.elizabethplank.com/Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellWrite to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com https://www.thegenderknot.com/Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

We’re back with Season 6. We talk to author Jeannie Vanasco who interviewed a friend from her teenage years who raped her 15 years ago. Vanasco got in touch with him to find out if and how the rape impacted him, and wrote about it in her new book ‘Things we didn’t talk about when I was a girl’. We talk to her about the role we all play in supporting victims, holding perpetrators accountable and how to make apologies. Also, support the Grace Digital Founders Campus app with all the tools female business founders need to succeed https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/grace-digitalcampus/grace-digital-founders-campusGuest:Jeannie Vanasco, author of ‘Things we didn’t talk about when I was a girl’ https://www.jeannievanasco.com/Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellWrite to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com and https://www.thegenderknot.com/Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

We're back with a bonus episode during our hiatus to discuss an email we received about none other than everyone's favorite topic: Emotional Labour! Is emotional labour gendered? Or should we just all focus on doing the right thing and stop segmenting these problems as male or female? Hosts and producers:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel Carroll Co-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

We revisit a conversation from earlier this year where we explored how men can be allies if their behaviour towards women has been problematic. Our guest Omar talks about being called out and having to question his role as an ally.We’re on hiatus until October, we’ll be back with another episode before then.Guests:Omar Aziz, co-host of The Samovar Network podcast http://www.thesamovarnetwork.com/podcast/ Hosts and producers:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel Carroll Co-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

From Aziz Ansari to Eve Ensler to why on earth apologies are so hard, we dive in and also discuss the best way to give an apology.We’re on hiatus and will be back with a new season in October. Another bonus episode will be out next month.Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links:Eve Ensler on WTF with Mark Maron http://www.wtfpod.com/podcast/episode-1028-eve-enslerNas’ radio documentary about Emotional Labour https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3csytzdLouis Theroux’s documentary ‘The Night in Question’ https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m000327c/louis-theroux-the-night-in-questionPatreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

We end season 5 by hearing Mark Manson’s tips for men during these confusing times, including how men can help each other out and his predictions about how we'll all get along in the future. Check out his new book ‘Everything is fucked: A book about hope’ and catch him on his speaking tour, more details here https://markmanson.net/speaking-tourWe are going on hiatus until October, and we'll be back with a bonus episode every few weeks until then. Have a great summer!Guest: Mark Manson, author https://markmanson.net/New book ‘Everything is Fucked: A book about hope: order it here https://markmanson.net/books Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

You’ve been writing to us about vulnerability following our previous two rounds and we’re going to delve into your thoughts and experiences. This journey started with us talking about men and vulnerability in relationships. Now we want to know if vulnerability culture is useful at all, and how does it benefit or hold back men and women differently. Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

LBC radio host Matt Stadlen joined us to chat vulnerability recently. This time we go into men talking about sex: how much and how do men really talk about sex and how does this impact their relationships?Guest: Matt Stadlen, journalist and LBC radio host, tune into his show here: https://www.lbc.co.uk/radio/presenters/matt-stadlen/Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Author of the book ‘Rape’ Mithu Sanyal fills us in on ways we can approach talking about rape and giving support, and why consent culture is tricky in societies where we are taught not to express our needs and desires clearly in the first place. Guest: Mithu Sanyal, author of the book ‘Rape: from Lucretia to #MeToo’, get a copy here https://amzn.to/2WrqnEi Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

We recently talked to LBC’s Matt Stadlen about vulnerability and how especially men can struggle with this in relationships. We delve back in and also hear your thoughts and experiences with opening up.Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

The hit author talks about his new book ‘Everything is fucked: A book about hope’, and how technology and choice are impacting how we live and make decisions on the modern world. Mark is also off on a speaking tour, head here to check out dates and details https://markmanson.net/speaking-tourGuest: Mark Manson, author https://markmanson.net/New book ‘Everything is fucked’ out on 14th May, order here https://markmanson.net/books Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

This week, LBC's Matt Stadlen joins us to talk about vulnerability. We try to uncover some of the reasons why men and women have a hard time opening up, especially in intimate relationships. Be sure to check out Matt's show on LBC: https://www.lbc.co.uk/radio/presenters/matt-stadlen/We’d love your experiences and to talk about this topic more so please write to us at thegenderknot@gmail.comHosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellNas’ BBC documentary on emotional labour https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3csytzdPatreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

The author of hit book ‘The subtle art of not giving a fuck’ talks to Dan about how pornography and the way it’s impacted men’s interest in sex, and tips on how to have more fulfilling sex. Also check out Mark’s upcoming book ‘Everything is fucked’ and his speaking tour by heading over to https://markmanson.net/speaking-tourDan and Nas also have a quick talk about expectations on women due to the increasing use of pornography. We’d love your experiences and to talk about this topic more so please write to us at thegenderknot@gmail.comGuest: Mark Manson, author https://markmanson.net/Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links:Kasia Urbaniak’s masterclass at The School of Life in London on June 22nd 2019, get tickets here https://www.theschooloflife.com/london/classroom/a-masterclass-with-kasia-urbaniak-ruben-flores/Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

This episode we discuss the line between courting someone and stalking. What can often start off as something innocent looking can very easily turn into a frightening situation. Laura Mucha, author of the book Love Factually, joins us to discuss this and more! For help with stalkers, abuse, etc visit www.thehotline.org in the US, or https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-body/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/ in the UK.Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Welcome to Season 5! We’ve re-branded the podcast, and going to be focusing on trying to get men and women to get along. We chat about this new direction a little and catch up on some of your mail from over the hiatus period. Hosts:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Daniel CarrollProducers:Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

All female episode this week, Nas and Sam chat about self care and ask if it’s bullshit. Self care has become very popular among women, especially on Instagram. Does self care empower women to take care of themselves or is it just another thing to add to our to-do lists and stress us out even more? We are on hiatus until 15th April, when we’ll be back with a new season. Sponsor:Blinkist - key takeaways from the world’s best nonfiction in audio or text. Get your free 7-day trial by heading over to: www.blinkist.com/thegenderknot Hosts and producers:Nastaran Tavakoli-Far and Sam BakerAdditional links:Buzzfeed article: ‘How Millennials became the burnout generation’ by Anne Helen Peterson https://bit.ly/2YAAIfiNas’ BBC documentary about women and wellness https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3cswrknPatreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

As a man, who do you talk to about sex? What about feelings? How about everything else? This week Dan and Jonny are hosting a Men Only episode with guest German Villegas to discuss who men can talk to about what’s going on in their lives. And yes, we make sure to plug mens groups! Be sure to check out German’s podcast Modern Manhood https://modernmanhood.org/ and his organization Next Gen Men https://nextgenmen.ca -- Also, we are on hiatus until 15th April when we'll have a new season. Sponsor:Blinkist - key takeaways from the world’s best nonfiction in audio or text. Get your free 7-day trial by heading over to: www.blinkist.com/thegenderknot Hosted by: Daniel Carroll and Jonathan Blackwell Co-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast https://www.thegenderknot.com/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

So, you’ve hurt someone or done something bad and want to make amends? We run through our experiences on the best ways to do this. We also revisit last week’s topic of emotional labour and hear from our audience on what is a very messy, very difficult and very real dilemma. Also, we are on hiatus until 15th April when we'll have a new season. We'll be back in 3 weeks with a mini-episode.Sponsor:Blinkist - key takeaways from the world’s best nonfiction in audio or text. Get your free 7-day trial by heading over to: www.blinkist.com/thegenderknot Host and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far Co-host:Daniel Carroll Co-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Interview about emotional labour with Arlie Hochschild in The Atlantic https://bit.ly/2DPkpUd Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

What exactly is emotional labour? Nas talks about it all the time, Dan is still unclear about what it is, so he speaks to Gemma Hartley, Author of ‘Fed Up: Emotional labor, women and the way forward’, to find out more. Guest:Gemma Hartley, author of Fed Up: Emotional labor, women and the way forward http://www.gemmahartley.com/Host and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far Co-host:Daniel Carroll Co-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Sign up to our newsletter via our contact page https://www.thegenderknot.com/contact/ Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Last week we talked about the importance of men being allies even if they haven’t been perfect in their behaviour towards women, but is there a line to this? Today’s guest tells us of a time he was called out and ended up having to question his role as an ally to women, and we hear from author and educator Jackson Katz on this dilemma. Guests:Omar Aziz, co-host of The Samovar Network podcast http://www.thesamovarnetwork.com/podcast/ Jackson Katz, author and educator, TED talk on 'Violence against women, it's a men's issue' https://www.ted.com/talks/jackson_katz_violence_against_women_it_s_a_men_s_issue?language=enHost and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far Co-host:Daniel Carroll Co-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

We brainstorm a list of things men can do to be allies to women, and how women can best encourage men trying to be allies. And we want to hear from you on what has or hasn’t worked in your own lives. Sponsor:Blinkist - key takeaways from the world’s best nonfiction in audio or text. Get your free 7-day trial by heading over to: www.blinkist.com/thegenderknot Host and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far Co-host:Daniel Carroll Co-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com Gender Knot merch available at TeePublichttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-gender-knot White Fragility: Why it’s so hard for white people to talk about racism https://robindiangelo.com/ and New Yorker essay https://bit.ly/2JNOEdj The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Why are meltdowns gendered? Do we ever talk of men having meltdowns? If not then why not, and what does this mean about our expectations of how women and men can express themselves? We get some help from our friends at the hit podcast A Gay and a NonGay to figure this out. We’re off to rest over the festive season and will be back on 7th January 2019 – speak to you then.Guests:A Gay and a NonGay podcast hosts James Barr and Dan Hudsonhttp://www.gaynongay.com/ Host and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far Co-host:Daniel Carroll Co-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a latte!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot The Gender Knot podcast https://www.thegenderknot.com/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Nas often feels like she’s walking on eggshells on this show; she has to be honest with men but also keep them engaged and not annoy them so much that they tune out of the show, and these conversations, altogether. Dan and Nas try to figure out this delicate balance. We also hear more from Kasia Urbaniak, the former Taoist Nun, former Dominatrix and women’s power coach who told us how women can ask for what they want a few weeks ago. Kasia fills us in on the ways in which women silence each other in a bid to survive and how telling a man the truth is an act of love. Guest: Kasia Urbaniak , women’s power and influence coach and founder of The Academy https://www.kasiaurbaniak.com/Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far Co-host: Daniel Carroll Co-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links: Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a latte!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknotFormer Gender Knot episode: How can men best help feminism? https://radiopublic.com/the-gender-knot-Wk23py/ep/s1!b623bWhite Fragility: Why it’s so hard for white people to talk about racism https://robindiangelo.com/ and New Yorker essay https://bit.ly/2JNOEdj Gender Knot merch https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-gender-knot The Gender Knot podcast https://www.thegenderknot.com/ and Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

You’ll have noticed we’ve been changing the direction of the podcast over the past few weeks, with there being fewer abstract explorations of ideas and more delving into the nitty gritty of how men and women can actually better relate in these confusing times.As such we’ll have having more audience participation, so send us your thoughts. Men’s coach David Lion helps us to help an audience member with a dilemma, and tells us about his online summit called Evolving Men, which is all about helping men figure out how to live more wholeheartedly. The summit features exclusive talks from 25 expert men and runs until 8th December.And we also delve back into the topic that keeps on coming up: disenfranchised men. Guest: David Lion, men’s coach and founder of the Evolving Men online summit, running until 8th Dec 2018 https://summit.evolving-men.com/ Host and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host:Daniel CarrollCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a coffee!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Write to us at: thegenderknot@gmail.com Gender Knot merch available at TeePublichttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-gender-knot The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Porn is pervasive in today's internet culture. But does the typical male gaze leave women out of the viewing audience? And what does this one-way perspective do to our real-life sexual and personal relationships? As Nas and Dan take a break this week, co-producers Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell tackle the subject of porn and real world sex and how we can make online content for everyone. We talk to sextech entrepreneur and pioneer, Cindy Gallop from MakeLoveNotPorn and education and psychology lecturer, Sam Carr, from the University of BathGuests: Cindy Gallop, Consultant & Founder/CEO of Make Love Not Porn https://makelovenotporn.tv/Sam Carr, Senior Lecturer in Education and Director of Studies for Education with Psychology, Department of Education, University of Bath, UK https://theconversation.com/profiles/sam-carr-156110/articlesHosts and co-producers: Sam Baker & Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links: Patreon page – [support the podcast](https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot) for the cost of a latte!Gender Knot merchhttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-gender-knot Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Our listeners are annoyed! Many of you were unhappy with our take on disenfranchised men last week after we interviewed former New York Times reporter and author Andrew Yarrow, who has written Man Out about men on the sidelines of American society. We read out some of your emails and invite one of our audience members to figure out: what do we do about disenfranchised men? Should we do anything at all, and exactly who should be getting involved?Guest: Alex, listener of the podcast Host and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host:Daniel CarrollCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a latte!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknot Gender Knot merch available at TeePublichttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-gender-knot The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Former New York Times journalist Andrew Yarrow joins us to talk about why so many men in America feel disenfranchised, and how this is impacting everyone else.Men around the world have seen their position shift drastically over the past few decades. Some of the key reasons given include the rise of women and big changes in the global economy, leading to some of the political unrest and upheavals of the past decade. So, what do we do with disenfranchised men?Guest: Andrew Yarrow, journalist and author of ‘Man Out: Men on the sidelines of American life’https://www.andrewlyarrow.com/Host and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host:Daniel CarrollCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a latte!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknotGender Knot merch available at TeePublichttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-gender-knot The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

A few weeks ago Dan tried to convince us that the stereotype of men having commitment issues was exaggerated and false, and he made a good case for this. But Nas was still left wondering where these assumptions come from and realized that Dan had evaded the key issues entirely! So this week we come back for a second round to delve in further. Host and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host:Daniel CarrollCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a latte!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknotGender Knot merch available at TeePublichttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-gender-knot The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Sponsor: E-squared Fitness – a pay as you go app to book fitness classes in London.https://www.esq2.com/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

It’s a year since allegations against Harvey Weinstein broke, leading to a real opening of conversation about sexual harassment and assault against women, be it at the hands of powerful men or in day to day life.We speak to a Hollywood insider about the situations and we also dig into the mixed messages men have been getting over the past year: what exactly do women want from men during these sensitive but important times? Guest:Steph, works in the film and entertainment industry in Hollywood Host and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host:Daniel CarrollCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a latte!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknotGender Knot merch available at TeePublichttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-gender-knot The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ BBC documentary on why women have taken to wellness, mentioned in the episode https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3cswrknMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Hit podcast Slow Burn just spent their second season looking at the saga around Bill Clinton’s impeachment. They revisited Bill Clinton’s affair with then 22-year old unpaid intern Monica Lewinsky, and looked at the varied reactions from feminists, as well as Juanita Broderick’s allegations that the president had raped her. The season went out at while Brett Kavanaugh’s senate confirmation hearings were happening, which made for especially timely and important listening, and allowed the audience to compare current events to those of the recent past, with often some of the same politicians and political operatives being involved in both situations.We wanted to know about how making this season affected Leon’s own perceptions of gender in US politics, and how he looks back on President Clinton as a result. Guest:Leon Neyfakh, host of the podcast Slow Burn and journalist https://slate.com/slow-burnHost and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host:Daniel CarrollCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a latte!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknotGender Knot merch available at TeePublichttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-gender-knot The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Sponsor: E-squared Fitness – a pay as you go app to book fitness classes in London.https://www.esq2.com/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Former dominatrix and Taoist nun Kasia Urbaniak teaches women about power and influence at her school The Academy. She walks us through this unique time where women are finally speaking openly and honestly and expressing their rage, and how we can best get men and women to support each other through the necessary but transformative mess ahead.Guest:Kasia Urbaniak, women’s power and influence coach and founder of The Academyhttps://www.kasiaurbaniak.com/Host and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host:Daniel CarrollCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Patreon page – support the podcast for the cost of a latte!https://www.patreon.com/thegenderknotGender Knot merch available at TeePublichttps://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-gender-knot The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ Sponsor: E-squared Fitnes – a pay as you go app to book fitness classes in London.https://www.esq2.com/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

The love, sex and relationship guru and host of the Savage Lovecast gives us his thoughts and tips!Note: this episode is very Not Safe For Work – save for later if that’s relevant!Also, co-host Jonathan Freeman is leaving us and signs off!Finally, The Gender Knot is on hiatus until 15th October. We’ll be back with a new season then.Guest:Dan Savage, sex and relationship advice columnist and Savage Lovecast host Host and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host:Jonathan FreemanCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:Gender Knot merch available at TeePublicThe Gender Knot podcast and Facebook GroupMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

It’s a big cliché that men are scared to commit, don’t want to be tied down, are always ‘hitting the road’ and leaving promising relationships with women. Today’s guest thinks this is a simply not true and actually leads to us all suffering and having worse relationships. We dive into the nuances. Note: The Gender Knot will be back in early October - we are taking a break during September but will be back in a few weeks. Write to us in the meantime! Guest: Dan Carroll, co-host of the podcast Fine and Dandy with Dan and Andy https://fineanddandypod.com/Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host: Jonathan FreemanCo-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell  Additional links: Gender Knot merch available at TeePublic https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-gender-knotThe Gender Knot podcast https://www.thegenderknot.com/ and Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Why is shame such an issue for men despite the privileges men still have in almost all societies? Is privilege itself part of the problem, and what can be done to tackle this issue? Women are also being vocal about their experiences due to toxic masculinity and also male shame. Where does this leave men as they try to grapple with their own experiences?Guest: Rob Kandell, coach and consultant, host of the podcast Tuff Love https://robertkandell.com/episodes/, and co-founder of One TasteHost and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host: Jonathan FreemanCo-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links: The Gender Knot merch by TeePublic https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-gender-knotThe Gender Knot podcast https://www.thegenderknot.com/ and Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

In April, a report by the UK governments and the Equalities and Human Rights Commission showed that 80% of large companies still paid male employees more than the women. In the US, in 2017 women still earnt just 82% of men’s salaries, according to data by the Pew Research Center. There are structural changes that still need to take place, how do men and women approach pay negotiations differently? How receptive are bosses to women asking for more money, and what are the best ways women can negotiate to be paid more? Guests:Gillian Orr, journalist and content director, Refinery29Caroline Elliot, Managing Partner of the Quattrain training partnership and former producer, editor and board member at BBC radioHost and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host:Sam BakerCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links:‘Building Resilience’ – Quattrain blog post by Caroline ElliotThe Gender Knot merch from TeePublic https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-gender-knotThe Gender Knot podcast https://www.thegenderknot.com/ and Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Men’s groups can’t be a substitute for therapy, says today’s guest. We recently looked at men’s groups and had some interesting feedback. Despite all the positives we hear, that can be problems which are worth knowing about. We speak to someone who actually runs men’s groups and also works helping teenagers develop healthy relationships. We delve into the potential problems, and how to best utilize men’s groups, both if running one and if attending.Guest:German Villegas, host of the Modern Manhood podcast, teacher, educator, man-at-large at Next Gen Men https://modernmanhood.org/Host and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host:Jonathan FreemanCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Additional links: The Gender Knot podcast https://www.thegenderknot.com/ and Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Jonathan is stuck in the library in DC, and Nas and Sam and Jonny in London are all swamped, so we decided to play you an episode of one of our favourite podcasts while we work on more Gender Knot material for you for next week onwards.The Ministry of Ideas is a podcast about the ideas that shape our world, and is from Harvard Divinity School. Their episode ‘White Balance’ looks at how understanding race in American also requires understanding its relationship to class. It’s a compelling and deeply moving episode and features the poet and writer Dr Joshua Bennett, and the author of the book ‘White Trash’, Nancy Isenberg.We’ll be back next week and have episodes coming up on men’s groups (a follow up), how women can negotiate for better pay, and male shame.Guest podcast episode: Ministry of Ideas podcast from Harvard Divinity School https://www.ministryofideas.org/The Gender Knot - Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host: Jonathan FreemanCo-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellAdditional links: The Gender Knot https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-gender-knot[The Gender Knot podcast https://www.thegenderknot.com/ and Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/ and contact us at thegenderknot@gmail.comMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

‘Transformative’ is a word we’ve heard from so many men who’ve benefitted from men’s groups. It’s a topic that’s comes up on this podcast a lot. Why are so many men getting together with other men to talk about their lives and experiences? How do these groups work and what do they talk about in them? And can they provide men with the support that they need?Guests:Kenny Mammarella D’Cruz 'The Man Whisperer', men’s group founder and personal development consultant http://www.kennydcruz.com/Chad Howse, fitness and lifestyle blogger and host of the podcast Man Up with Chad Howse podcast http://chadhowsefitness.com/Anonymous member of a men’s groupRowan Andrews, men’s group coach and facilitator and a business coach https://www.meetup.com/Mens-group-NoMoreMrNiceGuy-UK/Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-hosts: Jonathan Freeman and Jonathan BlackwellCo-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellSponsor: Beer52 – head to https://www.beer52.com/gender for a free case of British craft beerAdditional links:The Gender Knot podcast https://www.thegenderknot.com/ and Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/The Gender Knot: Mark Manson on men’s groups https://radiopublic.com/the-gender-knot-Wk23py/ep/s1!4ccadThe Gender Knot: Women’s groups, Men’s groups https://radiopublic.com/the-gender-knot-Wk23py/ep/s1!b483fMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)5 Pieces by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

This week’s guest emailed 700 people asking to be set up on a date, and followed up with everyone a year later detailing what happened. The most interesting part of her results are that the people she knew the least were the ones who set her up with someone.Our friends know our best and yet why do we under utilize our friends in the search for fulfilling romantic relationships? Should friends set each other up more? And why is it likelier that people we know less well are the ones who may actually introduce us to someone who could change our lives?Guest:Erica Berger, journalist, host of the TBD podcast https://www.livetbd.com/Host and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host:Jonathan FreemanCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Sponsor:Beer52 – head to www.beer52.com/gender Additional links:Erica Berger’s piece: “Swiped out: I emailed 700 friends asking to get set up after deleting dating apps. Here’s what I learned about love in America” https://bit.ly/2w7PQGMInterview with Erica Berger: “What one woman learned after asking 700 people to set her up on a date” https://go.brit.co/2XAE0Pp The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)5 Pieces by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Male Shame lies at the root of so many problematic dynamics between men and women, whether on an individual or a society-wide scale. The problem is many men have a very limited space where they can explore their shame, if they even have that space at all. How can women play a role in this and what’s the best way to make a man aware of the consequences of his shame based behaviour? A coach and consultant helps us figure this out.Guest: Rob Kandell, coach and consultant, host of the podcast Tuff Love https://robertkandell.com/episodes/, co-founder of One TasteHost and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far Co-host: Jonathan FreemanCo-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Sponsor: The Economist Additional links: The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Financial Times review of The Gender Knot https://on.ft.com/2IPHObYMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) 5 Pieces by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Speaking more forcefully, being more assertive (or even aggressive), over-confidence and being unrealistic about outcomes; these are just some of the ways in which women in technology are told to approach investors if they are to raise money. But is this advice fair or even accurate? Why is it harder for women in tech to raise investment money, what needs to be done to change things around, and what advice to women get which doesn’t work and is even damaging? A tech investor tells us more. Guest:Jonathan Sposato, investor, author of “Better Together: 8 ways working with women leads to extraordinary products and profits” https://amzn.to/2SFYF0KHost and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host:Jonathan FreemanCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Relevant Links:The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)5 Pieces by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

We got a curious email from the folks at Ashley Madison recently – that’s the dating website for people looking for discreet encounters, such as affairs. They’ve seen a rise in the number of women signing up, and there’s evidence showing that more women are cheating on their spouses – or perhaps women are now more open or honest about their affairs.We delve into why this is happening. We speak to a woman who has had an extra-marital affair to find out her reasons for the affair and her experience of it, and sex therapist Dr Tammy Nelson tells us about the wider social reasons for women seeking extra-marital affairs. Guests:‘Mary’, woman who has had an extra-marital affairDr Tammy Nelson, psychotherapist and sexuality expert, author of the book ‘The New Monogamy; redefining your relationship after infidelity’ https://drtammynelson.com/Host and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host:Jonathan FreemanCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Sponsor:The Economist Relevant Links:The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook groupMore women are cheating. Why?We got a curious email from the folks at Ashley Madison recently – that’s the dating website for people looking for discreet encounters, such as affairs. They’ve seen a rise in the number of women signing up, and there’s evidence showing that more women are cheating on their spouses – or perhaps women are now more open or honest about their affairs.We delve into why this is happening. We speak to a woman who has had an extra-marital affair to find out her reasons for the affair and her experience of it, and sex therapist Dr Tammy Nelson tells us about the wider social reasons for women seeking extra-marital affairs. Guests:‘Mary’, woman who has had an extra-marital affairDr Tammy Nelson, psychotherapist and sexuality expert, author of the book ‘The New Monogamy; redefining your relationship after infidelity’https://drtammynelson.com/https://www.amazon.com/The-New-Monogamy-Redefining-Relationship/dp/1608823156/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1339618990&sr=8-4 Host and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host:Jonathan FreemanCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Sponsor:The Economist Relevant Links:The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Ashley Madisonhttps://www.ashleymadison.com/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)5 Pieces by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

In season 2 we explored why we’re scared of ambitious women, and talked to our co-producer Sam and a teacher about the roots of this problem. It was an episode which really resonated with so many women who listen to this show and a dilemma we just had to revisit. Mark Pagan has talked about his mixed attitudes to dating ambitious women on his own podcast Other Men Need Help. Mark finds ambitious women attractive but is also threatened by them, this being a dynamic which isn’t all that rare, and one we delve into more with him, trying to figure out the personal and wider social reasons behind this paradox.Guest:Mark Pagan, host of the podcast Other Men Need Help https://othermenneedhelp.com/Host and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host:Jonathan FreemanCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Related links:The Gender Knot t-shirts are now available hereOther Men Need Help’s episode Manual Men https://othermenneedhelp.com/season-1/episode-4-manual-menOther Men Need Help are looking for stories for their next season, get in touch at othermenneedhelp@gmail.com - they are looking for men partnered with significantly younger people, men who can talk about financial insecurities related to partners, men with significant others who are more sexually experiences, men who are bald/balding and men up for sharing something about their appearance they privately want to change or hide. The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

This is the century where men need to rethink their identities at home and at work, says world renowned therapist Esther Perel, and that things will only change for women once men do this. We hear about her experiences working with couples and the unique challenges men face when trying to navigate their inner lives, and she advises us on how men and women can better communicate with each other. Guest:Esther Perel, therapist, author of ‘Mating in Captivity’ and ‘The State of Affairs’, host of the podcast Where Should We Begin? https://www.estherperel.com/podcastHost and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host:Jonathan FreemanCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Sponsor:The Economist Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)5 Pieces by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Stephanie Butnick of the Unorthodox podcast and Tablet Magazine joins us to kick of season 3 where we ask if the men accused of sexual assault and harassment under the #MeToo movement can make comebacks. Note: There are rumours that Charlie Rose may have a show where he interviews other accused men, that Mario Batali will be opening more restaurants and that Louis CK may be making a comeback, along with rumours about many others too. Is now the right time for a comeback, and should they even comeback at all? Guest:Stephanie Butnick, one of the hosts of the Unorthodox podcast and deputy editor of Tablet Magazine https://www.tabletmag.com/tag/unorthodoxHost and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host:Jonathan FreemanCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Related links:The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Pulitzer Prize winning author Junot Diaz recently joined a line of men such as Louis CK and Aziz Ansari who had been looked to by some people as being allies to women, but who have recently been accused of sexual assault or harassment in the wake of the #MeToo movement. These men have helped some men grapple with their own masculine identities and are people who have ‘gone there’ and have tried to attempt being better towards women, especially given it can be hard for men to talk about these issues with each other. But where can men turn when these heroes are also shown to be deeply flawed – and is flawed even the right word given the gravity of these allegations? We’ll be back with Season 3 in June. Guest:Mark Pagan, host of the podcast Other Men Need Help https://othermenneedhelp.com/Host and producer:Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host:Jonathan FreemanCo-producers:Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Related links:Junot Diaz: “The Silence, the legacy of childhood trauma” – published in the New Yorker on 9th April 2018 https://bit.ly/2HiRlEb “In the darkness men leave behind the women and emerge in the light clean and free” – by Briana L Urena-Ravelo, published on 10th April 2018 https://bit.ly/2EI2deW“Author Alisa Valdes on Junot Díaz: ‘He Mistreated Me, and I Was Severely Punished for It’” – by Amanda Arnold, published in The Cut on 6th May 2018 https://bit.ly/2tNUFB9“We can’t protect Junot Diaz at all costs” – by Christine Emba, published in the Washington Post on 4th May 2018 https://wapo.st/2TeYoXwMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

A man going off on a solo expedition into the wilderness when he’s having a dilemma or a tough time or when he needs to make a difficult decision is a staple of so much literature, and especially of fiction aimed at boys. It also seems to be a thing in reality too.Is this simply a form of romantic escapism or can it help men to solve their problems and to deal with difficult times? And do men actually need to spend time in nature to become better men? An outdoors-y Californian man helps us untangle this, with the help of some great essays too.Note: We are on hiatus until June, when we’ll be returning with Season 3\. There will be another bonus episode of The Gender Knot again before then.**Guest:** Seth Miller, founder of [Justice TVA](http://www.justicetva.com/)**Related links:**Farther Away: “Robinson Crusoe”, David Foster Wallace and the island of solitude - by Jonathan Franzen, New Yorker April 2011 https://bit.ly/2Hjqie7 Pond Scum: Henry David Thoreau’s moral myopia – by Kathryn Schulz, New Yorker October 2015 https://bit.ly/2vkJpgQThe Miseducation of John Muir: A close examination of the wilderness icon’s early travels reveals a deep love for trees, and some ugly feelings about people – by Justin Nobel, Atlas Obscura July 2016 https://bit.ly/2XwG0YOThe Gender Knot podcast https://www.thegenderknot.com/ and Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/?ref=br_rsHost and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host: Jonathan FreemanCo-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

We’ve heard a lot about the dilemmas surrounding men and their feelings on this podcast: how boys are raised with little acknowledgement of their feelings or disallowed from expressing or exploring them, to the destructive impact this has when they grow up, be it through high rates of depression and suicide in men or potentially violent behaviour. And then there's the huge amounts of emotional labour that many women end up performing in many areas of life as a result. Last time we tried to discuss this topic, the co-hosts had an argument! This time around, we’re joined by another podcast host to help us see what we can all do going forward: what are things we can all do to help men who want to explore their feelings, and how should we be having these conversations in the first place? Note: we are on hiatus and will be back with a new series in June. We will have a few more mini-episodes coming up for you before then. Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host: Jonathan FreemanCo-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Guest: Dan Carroll co-host of the podcast Fine and Dandy with Dan and Andy Related links: The Gender Knot podcast https://www.thegenderknot.com/ and Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/?ref=br_rsMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

We just made Time Magazine’s list of 50 best podcasts - http://time.com/5178078/best-podcasts-2018/ - and they recommended this episode from earlier in season 2, which is also one of our favorites, so we’re replaying it now.We explore the best things men can do if they want to help feminism, and the things they should avoid. We also look to the push for racial equality to see what lessons can be learnt and applied to the movement for gender equality.We are on hiatus and back with our next season in June, though we will have mini-episodes every few weeks, with the next one in a fortnight.Note also: Nas will be taking part in a salon with the website and social network [Ideapod](http://ideapod.com/), discussing this topic Salon: [Why men need to spend more time with just men](https://ideapod.lpages.co/webinar-why-men-need-to-spend-more-time-with-just-men/). It takes place on Monday 2nd April, 11pm BST / 6 pm EST / 3 pm PST with Ideapod founder Justin Brown. Follow the link to join.Host & producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far Co-host: Jonathan Freeman Co-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Guests:Jackson Katz, author and educator, TED talk on 'Violence against women - it's a men's issue' http://www.jacksonkatz.com/Eugene Ellis, psychotherapist, director of The Black, African, Asian Therapy Network Related links:Jackson Katz’s Ted talk: ‘Violence against women, it’s a men’s issue’ https://bit.ly/1iXu34BMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Ambitious women get held to tricky double standards; there’s the expectation that they should have the drive and vision of ambitious men but are also expected to ‘be nice’, to care take others and to not threaten men. And women are often harshly judged for many of the more negative downsides to ambition – such as being less considerate of others and demanding your worth – which are either seen as positives or neutral when done by men.We’re living in an era when there is probably more acceptance of female ambition and championing of women’s potential than ever before. But still, why do we have these impossible double stands for ambitious women?Note: this is the final episode of Season 2\. We will be back with Season 3 on 19th June 2018, and we will also be releasing a few mini-episodes before then.Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host: Jonathan FreemanCo-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellGuests: Sam Baker, co-producerAlice, teacherRelated links:‘Jill Abramson and the wholly sexist narrative of the woman in power’ by Emily Bell, The Guardian https://bit.ly/2Tb64dw‘Jill Abramson loses the newsroom’ by Dylan Byers, Politico https://politi.co/2Ts8Iec‘Good Jill, Bad Jill’ by Lloyd Grove, Newsweek https://bit.ly/RSz1XtThe Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Recommended podcast: A Therapist Walks Into a Bar https://www.atherapistwalksintoabar.com/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) 5 Pieces by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Former Apprentice contestant Michaela Wain and journalist Chris Hemmings help us figure out if women can break into boys clubs – those industries where men favour each other for jobs and create an atmosphere which makes it hard for women to get ahead.Michaela runs several businesses in the construction industry, which is also very male, and her assertive drive and ability to crack on and get things done inspired many people during her stint on The Apprentice. Chris has written about macho culture and his experiences in the Rugby Club while at university in his book ‘Be a Man’. He reports on masculinity and how it’s changing and what needs to be done to create healthier male cultures.Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host: Jonathan FreemanGuests: Michaela Wain, entrepreneur, contestant on The Apprentice https://twitter.com/Michaelawain1Chris Hemmings, Journalist, author of ‘Be A Man’ https://twitter.com/hemmchLive show sponsor: The Balvenie https://www.thebalvenie.com/ and Piper Heidsieck https://www.piper-heidsieck.com/Co-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellBusiness development: Cynara VetchLive show sound engineer: Richard AndrewsLive show venue: Ziferblat http://london.ziferblat.net/Related links: The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

James Barr, co-host of the hit LGBTQ+ podcast A Gay and a Non-Gay, posed this question to us and joins as a special co-host for this episode.Gay men have been gaining more rights and visibility, and yet homophobia exists, both in and outside the community. Why are some gay men still homophobic despite the strides that have been made for acceptance, and exactly what forms does this type of homophobia take today?Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host: James Barr, co-host of the podcast A Gay and a Nongay https://shows.pippa.io/gayCo-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellGuests:Matthew Todd, author of the book ‘Straight Jacket’ https://twitter.com/MrMatthewToddMatt Cain, editor of Attitude Magazine https://twitter.com/MattCainWriterMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)Related links: The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

We have our live show on Monday 26th February! We’ll be joined by guests Michaela Wain entrepreneur, contestant on The Apprentice, and Chris Hemmings https://twitter.com/hemmch journalist, author of ‘Be a Man’ as we discuss: can women break into boys’ clubs?As we’re busy with our live show, we revisit the season 1 archive again this week and bring you our episode asking: should men be involved in feminism, and if so how?There’s been a trend for more men to get involved in feminism and it makes sense; if women are to overcome hurdles, many men need to learn what these are and how they can do their job in creating a more equitable world. But sometimes men who want to help out do more harm then good. Do male feminists help the cause, or simply hijack it for their own gains? Should women learn to cater messages to get men on board, or that part of the problem? And what are some things that even progressive men think about but don’t share about feminism?Note: Episode was first published on July 17th 2017.One week-hiatus: We are taking next week off to rest after our show. We will be back with new episodes on Monday 12th March 2018.Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host: Jonathan FreemanCo-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellGuests:Anonymous male essay writerLucyMichelle Lim, Relationships coach https://www.michellelim.co/Shea WilsonRelated links:Jackson Katz’s Tedx talk “Violence against women, it’s a men’s issue” https://bit.ly/1iXu34BSheila Kelley’s Tedx talk “Let’s get naked” https://bit.ly/2EKEY4gThe Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Recommended podcast: Humans of Bitcoin](https://www.acast.com/humansofbitcoin/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) 5 Pieces by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

We’re gearing up for our first live show next week, so are replaying one of our favourite episodes from season 1.Mark Manson is a self-development expert and the author of the book ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck’. He writes about how to improve your career, relationships and life in general. He told us about the so-called masculinity crisis that is going on right now; whether it exists, and if so what the crisis is exactly. He also tells us about the struggles of masculinity and how to make it healthier.Live show: Monday 26th February, Ziferblat in London, 7 – 10 pm Guests:Michaela Wain - Entrepreneur and former The Apprentice contestant https://twitter.com/Michaelawain1Chris Hemmings, Journalist, author of ‘Be a Man’ https://amzn.to/2Fc08tu Question: Can women break into boys’ clubs? Tickets: Available here https://bit.ly/2o9yBOq Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far Co-host: Jonathan Freeman Co-producers: Cady Voge, Sam Baker and Jonathan Blackwell Guests: Mark Manson, author of ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck’ https://markmanson.net/Sponsor: A False Report: A true story of rape in America, by T Christian Miller and Ken Armstrong https://bit.ly/2Dzj3xE Extra notes: The interview with Mark Manson was done on 12th October 2017 and we talk about current events within the context of that time. It was first published on 30th October 2017 . . . . .Related links: The Gender Knot Podcast https://www.thegenderknot.com/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) and 5 Pieces by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Many men seem to struggle with expressing their feelings, and with generally dealing with their feelings in the first place. It’s a complaint women often have, but how much truth is there to this? What’s the deal with men and their feelings? Why do so many men struggle, and what can be done about it?Note: Live show in London on Monday 26th February – get your tickets here https://bit.ly/2tNUlT6Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host: Jonathan FreemanCo-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellGuests: Rotimi Akinsete, psychotherapist, Director of Wellbeing at the University of Surrey, Founder of Black Men on the CouchShad Tembo, early years teacher, leadership team at the Bristol Men in Early Years Network https://www.bmiey.co.uk/Sponsor: White and Green – makers of luxury organic bed linen. Get a 15% discount with the promo code: GENDER https://www.whiteandgreen.ie/Recommended podcast: Burst Your Bubble http://www.burstyourbubblepodcast.com/**Related links:The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) 5 Pieces by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

The world of work was mostly made by men for men. As more women enter and rise through the economy, there’s a lot of dissatisfaction and discussion about how things are done; why is everything about achievement? Is making money really the be all and end all? And what’s the obsession with competition anyway?Many women are forming their own ways of working to suit how they want to do business, which brings forth the question: does gender shape business?Note: Live show – coming up on Monday 26th February, details below.Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host: Jonathan FreemanCo-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellGuests:Alain de Botton, writer, philosopher, founder of The School of Life https://www.theschooloflife.com/Emma Sexton, founder of [Make Your Words Work, co-founder of Flock Global and co-host of Badass Women’s Hour http://talkradio.co.uk/badass-womens-hourCharles Michel, cook http://charlesmichel.co/Sponsor: White and Green – makers of luxury organic bed linen. Get a 15% discount with the promo code: GENDER https://www.whiteandgreen.ie/Related links: The Gender Knot LIVE - Mon 26th Feb in London, tickets and details here https://bit.ly/2tNUlT6The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Recommended podcast: Srsly by The New Statesman https://www.newstatesman.com/srslyMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) and 5 Pieces by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Being understanding, empathetic, seeing the other side of the story, being compassionate: these are many very classic feminine traits. But the upside of someone who is too compassionate is often also someone who lets others walk all over them, or someone who doesn’t hold other people accountable for poor behaviour.Women are often expected to be compassionate and to keep the peace in social situations. Why is this, and what are the consequences if they don’t? And should women simply stop being so compassionate if they want to live more fulfilled lives and help others too?Note: Live show – coming up on Monday 26th February, join our Facebook group to find out more – details will be announced soon.Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host: Jonathan FreemanCo-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellGuests:Lindsey Adler, journalist https://twitter.com/lindseyadlerElizabeth Gray, Jungian AnalystRecommended podcast: Out There http://www.outtherepodcast.com/Related links:Lindsey Adler’s article: ‘Harvey Weinstein wouldn’t take no for an answer’ https://bit.ly/2EKFNdmLindsey Adler’s article: ‘Why would this time be any different?’ https://bit.ly/2GXUCLSThe Broad Experience podcast: ‘2018: a year for women?’ https://bit.ly/2NMEvS1The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) and 5 Pieces by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

The pressure to achieve is often a big deal for men across many cultures. Notions of success and failure are closely tied in with masculinity. At the same time, the past decade has seen huge changes in the global economy, and together with the rise of women, many men are losing their places in society.An MC and a teacher help us delve into this question of whether men can fail, a question that is key to so many men’s personal lives, as well as the big social and political changes taking place right now.Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host: Jonathan FreemanCo-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellGuests:Dizraeli, MC and poetAlice, teacherRecommended podcast: That’s when you get a dog https://renayrichardson.com/getadogpod/Related links:Dizraeli http://www.dizraeli.com/The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) and 5 Pieces by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

We explore some differing experiences: from a young man who tried to get respect from men through sleeping with women, to sex in a long term monogamous relationship, to the in-betweens. And can we ever really get self-worth from sex in the first place?Host and producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host: Jonathan FreemanCo-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellGuests: MattRose and Gail Reid, hosts of the podcast Details Please http://www.detailsplease.org/Related links:The Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

We kick off season two with a question for men who want to be better allies to women: how can men best help feminism?It’s a pivotal moment in history, and so many men want to help out, but what should they do more of and what should they avoid? And what can we learn from the push for racial equality which can be applied to the movement for gender equality?Host & producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host: Jonathan FreemanCo-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellGuests:Jackson Katz http://www.jacksonkatz.com/), author and educatorEugene Ellis, psychotherapist, director of The Black, African, Asian Therapy Network https://www.baatn.org.uk/Related links:Jackson Katz’s Ted talk: ‘Violence against women, it’s a men’s issue’ https://www.ted.com/talks/jacksonkatzviolenceagainstwomenitsamensissueThe Gender Knot podcast and Facebook Grouphttps://www.thegenderknot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/182851532302085/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Many people have expressed concern about what behaviour is or isn’t appropriate when it comes to dating, including dating in the workplace. We explore the nuances.We also welcome our co-host for season 2: Jonathan Freeman.Host & producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-host: Jonathan FreemanCo-producers: Sam Baker, Jonathan BlackwellGuest: Daniel Carroll, co-host of the podcast Fine and Dandy with Dan and Andy https://fineanddandypod.com/Related links: The Gender Knot https://www.thegenderknot.com/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

The actor and model Nico Tortorella has talked about being sexually fluid, and explores his sexuality and his relationships in his podcast The Love Bomb. The star of the hit TV series Younger talks to us about his experiences with coming out to his family, as well as something he wishes he’d said but never did.This interview with Nico was recorded in October 2016, so he talks in the context of his life back then.We’ll be back with series two of The Gender Knot on January 8th 2018.Host & producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-producers: Sam Baker, Jonathan BlackwellGuests: Nico Tortorella, actor and modelRelated links: Nico’s podcast The Love Bomb http://thelovebomb.us/The Gender Knot https://www.thegenderknot.com/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

The transformational power of men’s groups have come up several times on this podcast, but men’s groups often have a pretty bad and misleading reputation. The author of ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck’ talks about a men’s group in Boston which transformed his life and tells us what actually happened in this group in the first place.Also, this is the final episode of season 1. We will be back with season 2 on January 8th 2018.In the meantime, check out the cool podcast The Broad Experience, which is all women and the workplace.Host & producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-Far Co-producers: Sam Baker, Jonathan Blackwell and Cady Voge Guests: Mark Manson, author of best seller ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck’ and self-development expert Alec Molloy, guest from the episode on Redefining and Owning MasculinityRelated links: The Gender Knot https://www.thegenderknot.com/ Podcast recommendation:The Broad Experience http://www.thebroadexperience.com/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

Dizraeli had a breakdown last year. The MC and poet found it hard to talk about what was going on with him, and also found little support from men when he did reach out. He managed to seek help and is now focused on exploring why men don’t talk and how to get men to open up and to communicate honestly.Dizraeli tells us about how masculinity leaves little room to explore the inner life, and to even have a language to describe what they are going through, and helps us delve into the question: Why don’t men talk?Host & producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-producers: Sam Baker and Jonathan BlackwellGuests: Dizraeli http://www.dizraeli.com/, MC and poetRelated links: The Gender Knot https://www.thegenderknot.com/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

Theresa May recently attended the Pink News Awards – the first sitting UK Prime Minister to do so. These awards recognise people who have worked to improve LGBTQ plus life in the UK. Some people praised her for this and for a speech she gave at the awards, but others have seen it as a cynical move from a PM trying to look good in this community, because Theresa May’s voting record hasn’t always been supportive of the LGBTQ plus community.We try to untangle this with the hosts of the UK’s leading LGBTQ plus podcast: A Gay and a Non Gay – that’s James Barr and Dan Hudson.Host & producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-producer: Cady VogeGuests: James Barr and Dan Hudson, hosts of the podcast A Gay and a Non Gay https://shows.pippa.io/gayRelated links: A Gay and a Non Gay present: David Bowie made me gay, event on 9th November at Waterstones, Tottenham Court Road http://bit.ly/2yYlq9STheresa May’s article for Pink News, July 2017 http://bit.ly/2hIueanSection 28 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Section_28Theresa May’s voting record on LGBTQ plus issues http://ind.pn/2oJNmq9The Gender Knot https://www.thegenderknot.com/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

Mark Manson, the author of the New York Times bestseller ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck’ and self-development expert, has spent a decade or so working closely with people, helping them improve all aspects of their lives, and has written insightfully and entertainingly about how to improve all aspects of your life, be it emotional, professional or romantic. He’s also worked closely with men, doing one-on-one coaching, as well as writing about masculinity, and his own journey to where he is now. So, given all the current debates about the problems in masculinity, we just had to talk to him!We ask Mark: is there a crisis in masculinity? We also talk about the problems with certain elements of masculinity and the solutions to these, and also touch on some of the better parts of masculinity.We also give a shout out to the podcast Details Please, with mother and daughter duo Gail and Rose Reid.Host & producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-producer: Cady VogeSponsor: Casper, state-of-the-art mattresses  https://casper.com/uk/en/Guest: Mark Manson, author of best seller ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck’ and self-development expert https://markmanson.net/archiveRelated links:Mark Manson’s article ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck’ https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a-fuckPodcast recommendation:Details Please http://www.detailsplease.org/The Gender Knot https://www.thegenderknot.com/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

#MeToo has seen women around the world sharing their experiences with sexual harassment and sexual assault. Now two other hashtags have grown in response, and these are about experiences on the other side of #MeToo.With #IHave and #IDidThat men who have harassed or assaulted women publicly confess to this. But we argue that this doesn’t do women or the whole point of #MeToo any good. These hashtags take the focus away from actually listening to women’s experiences, and are deeply problematic on a host of levels.Host: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-producer: Cady VogeGuest: Lucy, guest from the episode on Men and FeminismSponsor: Casper mattresses https://casper.com/Relevant Links: The Gender Knot https://www.thegenderknot.com/

Being an activist is all about changing the world: from the structures that shape our societies down to the daily conversations we have with each other. Deray McKesson has been active in Black Lives Matter and he is closely involved with people and entire communities both on the ground, and online, and has worked in and with schools in various parts of the US. He also hosts the podcast Pod Save the People, discussing the important topics of each week with a host of experts, community organizers and journalists. He’s therefore on the forefront of some of the most important social changes and discussions taking place in the US today.Deray talked to us about masculinity in the context of his work as an activist, his race and his sexuality.We also discuss some of the news of the past week: namely, Harvey Weinstein, and we hear from the author Mark Manson as we try to understand the culture of silence surrounding Weinstein, from men as well as from women.Host & producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-producer: Cady VogeSponsor: Casper, state-of-the-art mattresses  https://casper.com/uk/en/Guests: Deray McKesson, Black Lives Matter activist, host of the podcast Pod Save the People https://crooked.com/podcast-series/pod-save-the-people/Mark Manson, author https://twitter.com/IAmMarkMansonRelated links: Deray interview by Jack Dorsey in Interview Magazine https://bit.ly/2Tn4HruThe Gender Knot https://www.thegenderknot.comMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

We recently asked if women politicians can call people out, a subject that was pertinent given Hillary Clinton’s latest book where she does just that. Now we turn to women journalists. Journalism is all about raising uncomfortable questions, speaking up and having to call people out, especially those in power. But women journalists face especially harsh abuse online, and the BBC’s Laura Kuennesberg even had to have a bodyguard at a recent party conference after receiving very violent threats online. We speak to Eleanor Mills, editor of the Sunday Times Magazine and the chair of Women in Journalism, and try to untangle whether women journalists can call people out, and the pros and cons of being a woman with regards to speaking up.We’ll look at some transgender terminology that people frequently use incorrectly, after Nas did just this on a recent episode, and we recommend two podcasts for you to check out: The Ministry of Ideas and Badass Women’s Hour.Host & producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-producer: Cady VogeSponsor: Casper, state-of-the-art mattresses https://casper.com/uk/en/Guests: Eleanor Mills, Editor of The Sunday Times Magazine https://twitter.com/EleanorMillsAsh, podcast listenerRelated links:The Sunday Times Magazine interview with Hillary Clinton http://bit.ly/2y4OdagThe Sunday Times Magazine podcast http://apple.co/2ySfPhVMoneyball clip ‘The first guy through the wall’ http://bit.ly/2xqmSSZThe Gender Knot https://www.thegenderknot.com/Podcast recommendations:Ministry of Ideas https://www.ministryofideas.org/Badass Women’s Hour http://apple.co/2xsbm4HMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)

Playboy founder Hugh Hefner passed away last week. There’s been a ton of debate about his impact on women: did he treat them as sex objects or did he liberate them from strict sexual values? And people have also been talking about his contribution to civil rights.We decided to take a different approach on this episode, and instead to delve into his vision for men. Hugh Hefner thought the modern man could be sexually liberated and sophisticated and interested in women and into material success whilst also being into intellectual pursuits. We explore what this actually means and how it impacted Hugh Hefner’s own life by talking to Nathan Robinson, editor of Current Affairs Magazine, and we also hear from comedians and podcast hosts Daniel Carroll and Andy Haynes on how Hefner went down for them.Host Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-producer Cady VogeGuests Nathan Robinson, editor of [Current Affairs magazine](https://www.currentaffairs.org/) Daniel Carroll and Andy Haynes, comedians and hosts of the podcast Fine and Dandy with Dan and Andy https://fineanddandypod.com/Relevant links:Nathan Robinson’s essay ‘Good riddance to an abusive creep’ https://bit.ly/2fwPqPp  The Gender Knot https://www.thegenderknot.com/

Hillary Clinton apparently isn’t authentic. Except for when she is, and then no one can handle it!Hillary Clinton’s new book ‘What Happened’ delves into the circumstances around her losing last year’s American presidential election to Donald Trump. She calls people out, and does so directly and by name, these being people who she believes are partially responsible for her losing the election. And she also points fingers at herself as well. Some people are loving her raw expressions, while many, many others are telling her to be quiet, and to sit down, or at least saying that it’s better to look ahead rather than to dwell on the past, which is a more polite way of saying that they don’t really want to hear it.However, what is most baffling is that a politician and an aspiring leader would be told to sit down and would be discouraged from speaking out when, after all, isn’t that what politicians and leaders are supposed to do – to stand up and to call people out?The question we’re trying to answer is this: can a woman politician call people out? Or is that a privilege reserved for men?Host & producer: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-producer: Cady VogeGuests: Hadley Freeman, columnist at The Guardian https://twitter.com/HadleyFreemanPeter, works in politics in Washington DC Jonathan Freeman, worked full time on Barack Obama's 2008 Presidential campaign, volunteered for Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign Russ Finkelstein, journalist, produced 2016 elections coverage for Fusion https://twitter.com/RussFinkelsteinClare Foran, political reporter at The Atlantic https://twitter.com/ckmarieRelated links: Hadley Freeman’s article ‘America’s vitriol towards Clinton reveals a nation mired in misogyny’ https://bit.ly/2x7xAMaMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

We’re trying to untangle the new masculinity and femininity, but is that even a relevant mission? Or should we be trying to figure out a post-gender world instead? Journalist Dina Newman was born in Russia and now lives in London. She believes the world is moving beyond masculinity and femininity and it’s more about untangling the new humanity. She joins us as we question the very premise of this podcast!Host & producer Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-producer Cady VogeGuest: Dina Newman, journalist https://twitter.com/DinanewmanRelated links:The Gender Knot www.thegenderknot.com

Gender neutral clothing is all over the news at the moment. Just a few examples include school children protesting why girls and boys have to dress differently from each other and therefore encouraging their schools to change dress codes, and department stores who are doing away with gendered sections for clothing.We talk to two guests who work in fashion and the clothing space. We talk the relationship between how they dress and their own gender identity, and how other people in society have responded to them. Both guests were born female, and one identifies as female while the other identifies as non-binary. How has clothing shaped their own gender identities? Should there be gendered sections in clothes shops? And what will happen if clothing becomes gender neutral?Host & producer Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-producer Cady VogeGuests Laura Kanaplue, producer of the London Queer Fashion Show Santina Sorrenti, founder of Gender SwapRelated links:London Queer Fashion Show https://londonqueerfashionshow.com/Gender Swap https://genderswapblog.wordpress.com/The Gender Knot https://www.thegenderknot.com/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

Dominating, debating, having to be right – these are just some behaviours that are often common in people with power. And they are often also used by in men in power (or are stereotypically more negative ‘masculine’ traits which end up being used in fields such as politics). Sometimes it’s like the world is run by teenage boys…Cady Voge – The Gender Knot’s new co-producer - and host Nas discuss some a-ha moments where they realized other people doing this, and they propose a different and more open approach to conflict, disagreement and decision making.Host Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-producer Cady VogeRelated links:The Gender Knot http://thegenderknot.com/

What is a man’s role in society these days? This question seems to be coming up again and again. The rise of women and feminism, together with changes in the economy, and globalization are some of the factors cited as having had a big impact on men and their sense of where they belong in society. For a while the expectation was that men were to work and to be providers for the family, but that’s not necessarily the case anymore, so where does that leave them?Men grappling with their role and trying to find a sense of purpose is also not just a personal dilemma. There is much talk that some of the political unrest happening around the world over the past decade or so is also related to this, to the changing position of men in society and this lack of purpose that many are feeling, whether they are young men still trying to figure things out, or older men who’ve been working and providing for years, but are seeing what they do increasingly fall out of place in the modern workplace, which is also increasingly filled by women, who are on average also more educated.You could say that everyone is after a sense of purpose, but there is a lot of talk about this with women and new roles and options and opportunities. I’d say it’s generally positive talk, as women open up more paths for themselves. In fact, pushing for equality itself gives one a huge sense of purpose. But what’s the deal with men? And why is there this insistence on men having to have a sense of purpose, can’t they just, you know, be? We chat to two men about their experiences with purpose and how it impacts men specifically, and take the untangling from there.Host & producer Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarCo-producer Cady VogeGuests Justin Brown, co-founder of Ideapod https://www.ideapod.com/Michael MichailidisRelated links:The Gender Knot https://www.thegenderknot.com/ Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

A male product manager at a tech company gives his take on the Google Memo that’s been a big topic of discussion in recent weeks.To bring you up to speed: a software developer at Google called James Demore wrote a memo about the company’s diversity policies. This memo spread fast internally before making it’s way outside Google and causing a lot of controversy, and led to him being fired by Google. Demore wrote largely about so-called scientific and psychological differences between men and women and how they explain the gender balance in tech, and provdes research to back up his claims. (See the links below for more details along with two very good articles discussing the memo.)Alec Molloy has been a product manager for the past five years, and has worked in San Francisco, London and Malmo. He talks about how in some ways the memo accurately describes the situation within the tech industry, how it’s calm language is both dangerous and also something he thinks these debates could benefit more from, and what he hopes future generations will take away from the discussions about gender diversity in tech.Host: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarGuest: Alec Molloy, product manager at a tech companyLinks: ‘The Google Memo’ http://bit.ly/2ubOmpP) by James Damore  On Google’s firing of Damore http://read.bi/2uMBV3c‘The email Larry Page should have written to James Damore’ http://econ.st/2vMFoAP ‘I’m a woman in computer science, let me ladysplain the Google Memo to you’ http://bit.ly/2uvAif6 by Cynthia Lee in Vox  ‘The most common error in the media’s coverage of the Google Memo’ http://theatln.tc/2vgKtCN by Conor Friedersdorf in The Atlantic  The Gender Knot www.thegenderknot.com

‘The future is female’ – it’s a slogan we’re seeing increasingly, on t-shirts and placards and social media feeds. And there are currently plenty of important and necessary debates about getting more women into the upper echelons of business: more women on boards of companies, in industries such as science and tech, talk of how to retain women in the workforce after they start having families and much more.But should we be focusing on just having more women in the most powerful positions in the economy, or should we be looking at reforming the nature of the economy itself? After all, capitalism and masculinity are closely entwined (a subject for an upcoming episode), in some ways good, and some ways less good. Instead of pushing to have more women in the economy, should we be pushing for the economy to embody more feminine traits instead? And what does a more feminine workplace and economy look like?Host: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarGuests: Eric Gade, trained historian and former intel analyst http://www.homoridiculus.com/Jess Rimington, Visiting Scholar at Stanford University’s Global Projects Center http://www.jessrimington.org/Related Links: The Gender Knot www.thegenderknot.comMastrMe http://mastr.me/ Rob Reich interview with Freakonomics https://bit.ly/2BJoIgkMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

What is masculine and feminine energy? This short and sweet episode lays down the basics!We’ll find out what we mean when we talk about masculine and feminine energies (and traits), and our own relationship with these within ourselves.Host: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarGuest: Jess Rimington, Visiting Scholar at Stanford University http://www.jessrimington.org/Related Links: The Gender Knot www.thegenderknot.com

Why are so many people around me suddenly joining men’s groups and women’s groups? Isn’t the notion of segregating ourselves due to gender a little… outdated? After all, so many of our social issues are related to us not knowing and being close to people who are different to us and experience the world in a way which we don’t. Don’t women’s groups and men’s groups just reinforce the notion of ‘the other’? And who said gender is so binary anyway?We delve into whether there is still value in having these groups, and what various individuals have gotten out of them, and also speak to a guest who slated men’s groups on this very podcast, but is now a big fan!Host: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarGuests: Michelle Lim, relationships coach https://www.michellelim.co Alex Linsley, founded a men’s group while a student Ankush Jain, life coach and leader of a men’s immersion programme http://ankushjain.co.ukAlec Molloy, member of a men’s groupRelated links: Tony Porter’s Ted Talk ‘The Man Box’ https://www.ted.com/talks/tonyporteracallto_men The Gender Knot www.thegenderknot.comMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

Confusion, frustration, empathy, being able to relate – just some of the reactions I received from you, the audience, to last week’s episode exploring men and feminism, where we asked whether men should get involved in feminism, and if so, how.Many female listeners unanimously related to one of the discussions last week, and I talk to two male listeners about the conversation on male feminists.This topic is huge, so I’ll be following it up in a few weeks’ time. Send me your thoughts and experiences at thegenderknot@gmail.com or message me via the Facebook page.Also, check out the fantastic podcast Fine and Dandy with Dan and Andy. This podcast is all about these questions! Comedians Daniel Carroll and Andy Haynes are straight-white-cis-American men, and they try to figure out how to be better men, in terms of gender, race, privilege, and much more! It’s a fun listen, while also tackling important topics with fantastic guests. Subscribe to their show via iTunes or the link below, and join their journey of figuring it out too!Host: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarGuests: Jens Weymann, German male Alec Molloy, American malePodcast recommendation:Fine and Dandy with Dan and Andy https://fineanddandypod.com/The Gender Knot www.thegenderknot.com

Should men be involved in feminism, and if so, how?Men are super involved in feminism these days – and there appears to be a cultural trend in getting men involved in the fight for gender equality.We’re seeing this daily: be it the UN’s HeForShe campaign which is all about this, or male celebrities like Pharrell Williams and Ashton Kutcher talking about rights for women (and of course, tennis player Andy Murray’s recent stand against casual sexism), and it seems like everyday there are articles in the world’s leading publications about all this too (a recent hit being the New York Times looking at how to raise feminist sons). It makes sense; men also need to change their attitudes and biases if we are to live in a world with gender equality, so of course they need to be part of the fight.But what about when some men mean well but end up doing more harm than good? This episode explores that.We look at male feminists – do they actually help the cause of feminism, or do they end up making everything about them, and in essence do they just talk over women, whose voices aren’t heard as much in first place? And should women ask for help from men to increase gender equality, and if so, how should they ask for this help so that it’s carried out most effectively? Or is catering the message so as not to upset men a problem in itself? We explore and untangle all this. And we also hear about the darker side too: the things that even progressive men don’t want to share publicly about their fears and resentments towards feminism…Host: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarGuests: Anonymous male essay writer from England Lucy, woman from England Michelle Lim, Relationship coach from the US and based in Sweden https://www.michellelim.coShea Wilson, American male living in SwedenRelated links: The Gender Knot www.thegenderknot.comJackson Katz’s Tedx talk “Violence against women, it’s a men’s issue” https://www.ted.com/talks/jacksonkatzviolenceagainstwomenitsamensissueSheila Kelley’s Tedx talk “Let’s get naked” http://tedxamericanriviera.com/sheila-kelley-lets-get-naked/Music: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

What sort of sexism takes place in the workplace that we still don’t acknowledge or talk about? There’s been a lot of talk about sexism in the technology industry, and over the past few weeks several high profile investors have publicly said that they may have contributed to a culture of sexism and harassment of women. In the debates surrounding all this, I’ve been struck by the very nature of the workplace itself, I’ve been hearing about the ways in which a lot of people degrade themselves on some level for investors, and that the workplace is a brutal and ruthless place for everyone, it’s just that the details are different for the genders. Some of this I agree with, some I disagree with, but I’d like your experiences. What sort of sexism takes place at work that we still don’t talk about? And besides just sexism, should we be overhauling the entire culture of many industries and workplaces in the first place?Send your thoughts to thegenderknot@gmail.com - or find us on Facebook as The Gender Knot Podcast, where you can also send a message. Let me know if you’re happy to have your message read out on the show, and it’s also ok to be anonymous, just state that. Otherwise let me know if you just want to pass a thought on or if you want to talk to me more about it all. Also voice memos are great, and so do send those along too. Host: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarAssociated links:Nas www.twitter.com/ntavakolifar The Gender Knot www.facebook.com/thegenderknot

Hillary Clinton was often criticised for being too ‘cold’ and ‘unemotional’ during her 2016 US Presidential bid. Many women in the West can relate to this: if they show emotions they are not taken seriously in the workplace, and yet if they control their emotions they are deemed ‘cold' and ‘calculating’ and ‘untrustworthy'. We try to get a perspective from two men - on purpose - to see if emotional expression helps or hinders women in leadership, and how emotions go down for male leaders.This episode will focus on the US. One of the guests is a journalist who covered the 2016 Presidential election campaign, and the other guest has actually campaigned for both Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton on the ground. We also get feedback from a young woman who voted for Hillary Clinton, and we dig into this phenomenon further.Host: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarGuests: Russ Finkelstein, journalist, produced 2016 elections coverage for Fusion https://twitter.com/RussFinkelsteinJonathan Freeman, worked full time on Barack Obama's 2008 Presidential campaign, volunteered for Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign Elizabeth, voted for Hillary Clinton in the 2016 US Presidential elections https://twitter.com/JFonIRRelated links: The Gender Knot www.thegenderknot.comMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

You’ve heard of Leaning In but how about Leaning Back? Over the past few years a lot of women have undertaken Sheryl Sandberg’s advice to assert themselves more, to speak louder and to sit at the table. But some women are questioning this and are thinking about the bigger picture of what success means to them and how exactly they want to go about it. Enter: Leaning Back!Leaning Back is about looking at the bigger picture. It’s about listening to yourself and doing what's right for you. We discuss the pros and cons of Leaning In, what’s worked and what’s hindered us, and we explore the cultural and gender dimensions of success and the workplace.Host: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarGuests:  Nomi, journalist and TV producer Bianca Praetorius, co-editor and co-author of The Lean Back Perspective https://www.ixds.com/the-lean-back-perspective-the-bookRelated Links: The Gender Knot www.thegenderknot.comMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons) Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

Masculinity gets a bad reputation these days. We hear a lot about what’s wrong with it, but what about the good sides, and also the messy sides? I talk to a woman about what role we women can play in redefining masculinity, and get one young man’s experiences with trying to fit into male stereotypes, and his journey with rejecting some of these and embracing others. Host: Nas aka Nastaran Tavakoli-FarGuests: Leigh Ware and Alec MolloyMusic: Government Funded Weed by Black Ant (used under Creative Commons)Sourpatch by Glass Boy (used under Creative Commons)

The podcast where we untangle the new masculinity and femininity. These are exciting times; we’re re-defining gender roles, but let’s be honest, we’re pretty confused about it all too, so let’s get untangling!