"Canal Help You?" and other tales...

This week's tales include a ghastly gate, hazardous helpfulness, a disastrous (first) date and a trying teacher. We take a look at the new items on the Parish Notice Board, listen to some of the best reactions to the confessions and Simon reads some more 'non-compliant confessions'. Plus another tale unearthed from the Confessions Crypt! If you have a Confession or want to get in touch with Father Simon and the Collective, then email confessions@bbc.co.uk