Bad Romance: Warlock 2

Bad Romance: Warlock 2

By Johnny Spoiler and Jordan Savage.

Tonight’s movie is Warlock 2, officially known as WARLOCK: THE ARMAGEDDON. A soft reboot of a sequel. Everyone considers it a sequel, however, it changes the origin story of the Warlock, and it disregards Warlock Part 1, so one deduces that this is a completely different Warlock all together.

Every 600 years, Satan’s Son has a chance to destroy the world if he gets his bastard hands on 6 magical stones protected by 6 druids.

6-6-6. There are also 6 signs of the Armageddon that signal to the Druids that the Anti-Christ is on his way.

A pair of predestined teens are chosen to duel the Warlock as a special class of druids called druid warriors, and just so the audience knows, all the mythology in this movie is total BS from the imagination of Kevin Rock, the screenwriter.   In history, yes there were druids.  There were armed bodyguards called Gothwella that had some relationship with druid factions but none of all the stuff in this movie. 

And the director has some beefy horror credits - it is Anthony Hickox who did Waxwork 1, and 2 as well one of our favorites Hellraiser 3, Full Eclipse, and also the horror-comedy Sunset: Vampires in Retreat.  He is a cult director.  

After we highlight some home video headlines we’ll drop our first impressions of Warlock 2.

Have you guys tried this Coke n Coffee thing?Nick found a great game emulator … he was playing Warlock SNES on it Kong will use telepathy in the new movie (which he did in cartoons)Cloris Leachman died. She won an oscar and was really funny.  She was in at least 2 movies with bad romances The Last Picture Show and its sequel Texasville.

Our first impressions of Warlock 2 include:

“So much fun. Better than Warlock 1.”“Commit. It’s awesome.”“Very disappointed.”“I got to find this movie after watching teaser.”

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Some of our favorite bits from Warlock 2 include:

The unnatural Warlock birthThe Piccasso killAll the more horrific stuff in act oneThe elevator kill

Since we are running a bad romance theme this month that includes bad relationships we analysed this movie and perhaps, the best relationship in this movie might be the Warlock’s connection to the magic rocks, but the worst one might be between the 2 main characters who are supposed to be in love!

Next week: YOUNG GUNS 2.

Music: Special Sauce

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