How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends | Dr. Marisa G. Franco

How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends | Dr. Marisa G. Franco

By Ten Percent Happier

Did you know that having friends can make you less depressed? One survey found that the average American had not made a new friend in the last five years but 45% of people said they would go out of their way to make a new friend if they only knew how.   

Our guest today, Dr. Marisa G. Franco, has written a bestselling book about how understanding your own psychological makeup and attachment style can help you make and keep friends. Franco is a psychologist and a professor at the University of Maryland. Her book is called Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make–and Keep–Friends.

This is episode three of a four part series in which we are doing some counter programming against the typical Valentine's Day fair. 

In this episode we talk about:

Why friendship is undervalued in our society (while romantic love is overvalued) and why this is damaging on both a societal and individual levelThe impact of technology on our relationships as explained by something called “displacement theory”The biological necessity of social connection and the devastating physiological and psychological impacts of loneliness Attachment style and its relationship to our friendshipsWhat you can do to make friends, including being open or vulnerable (without oversharing)How to reframe social rejectionThe importance of generosityHow to handle conflict with your friendsThe difference between flaccid safety and dynamic safety in your friendshipsWhen to walk away from a relationship How to make friends across racial, gender, and socioeconomic linesHow to deal with social anxietyAnd how our evolutionarily wired negativity bias can impact the process of making friends

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