Keirnocchio: When You Wish Upon A Starmer

'Tis the season and Matt has a new pantomime. 

This is the story of Keirnocchio, a wooden MP who desperately wants to become a real boy politician. 

When you wish upon a Starmer your dreams come true, and even if it means changing your mind, your poll lead will grow faster than your nose. 

Plus: Some of our favourite Times columnists join a festive focus group and debate the best Christmas song, and tell us their Christmas day traditions.

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