Ladies Who Lunch

Ladies Who Lunch

By Ingrid Nilsen & Cat Valdes

Ladies Who Lunch lets you sit at the table and explore topics often left out of polite conversation with YouTubers Ingrid Nilsen and Cat Valdes. Write in to join their dialogue about sex, relationships, social phobias and more as they approach life's dilemmas with compassion and a sense of humor. New episodes every week.


The Last Episode of Ladies Who Lunch

This is it! Our last episode of the podcast. We’re celebrating 2 amazing years by answering letters sent in by you, our listeners. We’re talking about toxic friendships, divorced parents, motivation and more, plus sharing what we’ve loved most about making this podcast. Thanks to everyone who has listened, written in, tweeted us and approached us in real life... we’ve had an incredible time with this project, and we hope, by listening, that you’ve learned a little more about yourself and the people around you. PS. Thanks to Away for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! For $20 off a suitcase, go to and use promo code lwl at checkout.
12/06/181h 12m

Comparing Pain + the Silence Around Miscarriages

This week’s episode is inspired by a letter from a listener who wrote in to discuss how people often compare their own pain to another’s. We know that empathy creates connection, and sympathy can create disconnection. Empathy is a vulnerable choice because you have to connect with something within yourself that might be painful. This conversation began another conversation about miscarriages, and the silence that often surrounds them when they happen. In order to move past the shame, we need to first acknowledge that the shame and silence are there. The only way to banish the stigma surrounding loss is to share our stories. PS. Thanks to FabFitFun for supporting our podcast! To get $10 off your first FabFitFun box, go to and use the code LWL.
05/06/1845m 18s

Saving Yourself from Tech Addiction

After being inspired by a recent Katie Couric doc about our brains and technology, we’re diving into our own relationships with tech. Tech use and addiction is something that’s heavily accepted and even expected of us. Social media, video games, apps, and other digital products are carefully engineered to keep you coming back for more. App notifications, autoplay, likes, messages are scientifically proven to compel us to watch, check in, and respond right now — it’s either that or FOMO. With all of these factors working against us, it’s clear why it’s so easy to become addicted (there’s even tech rehab centers popping up in the US). Ingrid shares how she has been working to implement some behavioral changes to combat the signs of her own tech addiction, and we answer a letter from a viewer who is worrying she is wasting her life on her phone.
29/05/181h 1m

When What You Think Will Make You Happy Doesn't

This week, we're talking about the desire for a quality or situation that you think will make you happy once you get it: a raise, a perfect body, a relationship, etc. We’ve bought into the myth that happiness is something we achieve when everything in our life finally looks the way we’ve been thinking it should. These things alone don’t create lasting happiness, so happiness becomes an elusive thing that we desire but don’t actually know how to achieve. The truth is that happiness is not circumstantial. Actually, we don't have to control anything outside of ourselves. Becoming aware of this means we can choose happiness in this moment. When we feel happy first, our outward experience begins to shift. PS - Thanks to Dagne Dover for supporting our podcast! Go to to get 20% off your order with the code LWL.
22/05/1841m 30s

What Happens When You Envy Someone?

This week, we’re talking about feelings of admiration and envy. Sometimes, these feelings can come up in response to encountering someone who you consider to be more successful, more beautiful, funnier, smarter or better. Admiration is seen as a noble sentiment, but envy, by contrast, is thought to be inherently bad. When we admire someone, we do so from a distance. When we envy someone, we picture ourselves in their place and feel that in order for us to be desirable, we must possess the same advantages they have. This episode was inspired by a recent epiphany Ingrid had while looking into her own feelings of envy. When does envy arise, and how can we re-frame it so it becomes productive and not destructive? PS - Thanks to Dagne Dover for supporting our podcast! Go to to get 20% off your order with the code LWL. + Thanks to FabFitFun for sponsoring this episode! Go to and use the code LWL for $10 off your first box.
15/05/1853m 52s

Getting Over Getting Older

This week, Ingrid is joined by her long-time friend and professional makeup artist / beauty editor, Francesca Giaimo, to talk about the beauty-related pressures that women feel as they grow older. From the moment we are born, society sets expectations for women. How we look and act is what moves us up the ladder of what this culture deems as successful. Aging is inevitable, but it's barely acknowledged in our culture. We are frequently told that the world is our oyster and that we can do anything, but women of a certain age are not revered. Why are we not commending older women for their strength and longevity? Why are we not paying tribute to their achievements and accomplishments? We also answer a letter from a listener who has found herself obsessing over the changes to her face and body that come with age. As a woman, it can be easy to feel like you’re disappearing into the black hole of what you “used to be”...unless your life isn’t built around your looks. Unless your self-worth isn’t wrapped up in whether or not someone thinks you’re pretty. Unless you have an obsession for things other than what you see in the mirror.
08/05/181h 40m

When Courage Meets Compassion

This week, we're talking about the balance between courage and compassion. If you have too much courage, you can become destructive to yourself and to others, but if you have too much compassion, you can be paralyzed by your desire to please others. Finding balance can be hard, but it's important. We believe that courage opens you open to everything, including compassion. If we are courageous, we are free to be compassionate when and where we are inspired to do so. Sometimes, we see courage as a big huge act that completely shifts your life in a moment - but more often it's little acts of courage that, when practiced over time, shift the course of your life. PS. Thanks StoryWorth for sponsoring our podcast! Get $20 off when you subscribe at
01/05/1851m 30s

When Your Needs Don’t Align With Your Partner’s

Learning to live alongside and love another person is tough, but it's only made harder by the many issues you face in a long-term relationship. Compatibility is only the first step. Factors like timing, current circumstances, goals, and uncontrollable occurrences will often get in way of something great and turn it into a challenge. Sometimes these things can be surpassed, and the two of you will come out on the other side better for it, but there is always the chance that one factor could be the breaking point. If your dealbreakers don't match with theirs, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship. This week, we're talking about what happens when your needs aren't the same as your partner's, inspired by a letter from a listener who wants kids, but her partner doesn't. PS. Thanks to Away for supporting Ladies Who Lunch. Go to and use the promo code lwl to get $20 off a suitcase!
24/04/1857m 45s

Body Wisdom with Holistic Health Coach Cara's Kitchen

This week is all about body wisdom. We're joined by Cara Cifelli from Cara's Kitchen, a holistic health coach who has a personal mission of helping others love the skin they are in and develop a balanced relationship with food. Our relationship with food and our bodies can influence every aspect of our life, and unfortunately, 97% of women surveyed have body image issues. It takes time to cultivate an awareness about your body, but ultimately, your body won't lie to you. Listen to your gut! If you can replace strict meal plans and a diet mentality with patience, respect and love for yourself, your life will undoubtedly change. Cara also helps us answer a letter from a listener who doesn't want to stand back while her friends struggle with an eating disorder. How can you approach someone who might have a problem without upsetting them? Our lives are often hectic — many of us feel undernourished mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. We often sacrifice our own best interests in our efforts to meet the demands of our lives. You deserve to be able to tune into yourself and connect with your body, mind, and heart.
17/04/1853m 0s

A Desire to Belong

This week, we're talking about a human need: a sense of belonging. Belonging to a greater community improves your motivation, health, and happiness. When you are connected to others, you learn that all people struggle and have difficult times, and you feel less alone. If you feel like you don't belong anywhere, you might have inner dialogue that says: who you are isn’t okay. In the end, there are usually some core beliefs, emotions and blocks that dictate this sense of not belonging and loneliness. Most of the time, no external community will make that feeling disappear -- you need to deal with the pain inside directly or it will follow you around. PS: Thanks to TrueReligion for sponsoring LWL. Use the code LWL to get 20% off your order! + Thanks to FabFitFun for supporting us! Get $10 off your first box by using the promo code LWL.
10/04/1844m 10s

When Does Self-Care Become Selfish?

Self-care is having a moment -- it's a great way to strengthen yourself and take care of yourself at the same time. People approach self-care in different ways. For some, it's a bubble bath and Netflix night. For others, it’s disconnecting from the Internet when the news cycle gets sad and overwhelming. A lot of the time, it's taking time to yourself. Some people think that practicing self-care is unacceptable because it sends the message to others that your well-being is your ONLY priority. This episode, we're discussing the difference between selfishness and self-care + answering a letter from a listener who has been cutting people out of their life due to stress and anxiety. We only have a finite amount of resources with which to operate. Taking care of ourselves really isn’t a matter of selfishness -- making sure our own needs are met only makes us more well-equipped to support others. PS. Thanks ModCloth for supporting our podcast! For 15% off your purchase of $100 or more, go to and enter code LWL at checkout. Hurry this offer expires on April 21, 2018! Thanks to Audible for supporting our podcast. Get a free audiobook with a free 30 day trial at or text LWL to 500-500.
27/03/1843m 7s

What If?

This week, we're talking about that dreaded question that enters our mind in times of anxiousness: "what if?" Worriers think that worrying helps them to prepare for every possible outcome, but in reality, it interferes with problem solving. Our worries may seem specific: “What if I lose my job?” “What if I never fall in love?” -- but the consequences that we’re really worried about stay vague because we never think past the “what if?” Other times, "what if?" questions can be about feelings of regret. You want more than anything to be able to rewind time and get a do-over. You’ve replayed scenarios over and over in your head, thinking of all the things you could have done or said. We're talking about our own anxieties and regrets and what's worked for us. We also answer letters from listeners who are trapped in their heads, constantly repeating to themselves... what if I go for it? What if things were different? PS. Thanks to True Religion for sponsoring LWL! Use the code LWL for 20% off a pair of jeans! + Thanks to LegacyBox for supporting our podcast. Go to to get 40% off your first order.
20/03/1850m 35s

Moving On and Letting Go

Letting go of something is complex. It can be from a relationship, a home, a job, an idea about yourself and who you are. Just because something was right for you in the past, doesn’t mean it still is. You discover more about who you are and what you want out of life, and then you realize there are deliberate changes you need to make to keep up with the changes happening around you and within you. In this episode, Cat shares how she needs to re-home her dog -- that change has been a really hard decision, but ultimately it's one she knows she has to make. We also answer letters from listeners who are having trouble moving forward: one from a breakup and one from a dream job that isn't working anymore. The more we can accept each moment as it is, the less we suffer. Making the decision to let it go also means accepting you have a choice to let it go. PS. Thanks to FabFitFun for sponsoring our pod! Go to and use the code LUNCH for $10 off your first box.
13/03/1846m 41s

When People You Love are Sexist

This week, we're talking about how we deal with sexism from people we love: how it relates to people who mean well but may be ignorant, how to navigate through conversations with people who are actually sexist and oppressive, and how to deal with a lack of respect for people who are complacent with sexist people. At some point in every woman’s life, she will face sexism somewhere - in a relationship, in a workplace, walking down the street. We are all part of social systems or environments where women face hostility and oppression because they’re women in a man's world. Navigating sexism can be difficult, but there's another level added when it's coming from the people closest to you. The only way we’re going to change anti-woman culture is if we have each other’s backs. PS. Thanks to RXBAR for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get 25% off your first order at with the promo code LWL. Thanks to FabFitFun for sponsoring our pod! Go to and use the code LUNCH for $10 off your first box.
06/03/1845m 3s

Being On the Cusp of Change

This week, we're talking about change. Whether a relationship starts or ends, you're moving, you have got a new job, or you've lost someone you love, change (whether it's good or bad) causes stress. You never know exactly what you're going to get, which often frightens us. When we experience the world or ourselves in a certain way for an extended period of time, we develop core beliefs that make up what we think life is supposed to be. We tend to see change as a loss rather than just as part of an inevitable conclusion. Ingrid shares what it was like when her life changed after her father's unexpected passing and the grief that came with it. We also answer a letter from a listener who has recently come out as a trans boy and is now having a hard time accepting what his gender identity means in terms of accepting his sexuality. Feeling shocked by change can be the most significant feeling in a new experience, but being aware that you’re probably going to feel overwhelmed, anxious and exhausted can help you to prepare for it. PS - Thanks to LegacyBox for supporting LWL. Go to to get 40% off your first order. Thanks to FabFitFun for sponsoring our pod! Go to and use the code LUNCH for $10 off your first box.
27/02/1841m 52s

Competition and Comparison

This week, we're talking about competition. For some people, competition forces you to give your best. Having that challenge right on your heels pushes you to run faster, work harder and think deeper. You can also learn from the successes and failures of other people. Our insecurities become stronger whenever we experience disappointments and challenges in our personal and professional lives. It's important to acknowledge this pain and address it. We're diving into our own competitive natures and talking about how competition and comparison affect us on a daily basis. What can you learn from competition? Is “ignoring the competition” ever really doable? How can you handle competition at work or school? Competition will always be there, but it's important to free yourself of negative energy so you can be your best self.
20/02/1850m 49s

Content We Love

This week, we're spreading the love. As people who create content for a living, we want to share some love and appreciation for the TV shows, podcasts, movies and content creators we are into right now. Sometimes it's good for the soul to take a break from the world around you and indulge in some feel-good, interesting, or inspiring stories. Note: We discuss minor plot points in this episode, so here's a small spoiler alert!
13/02/1846m 18s

Our Obsession with Celebrity

This week, we're talking about celebrities and the desire to know all about them. Why do we, as a culture, value fame over almost everything else? The celebrity serves as both an object of worship and of disgust, and all of this falls into the arc of fame. Thanks to social media platforms, it’s easier than ever for people to gain fame. A large amount of followers can launch someone into stardom with little effort, sometimes even by accident! Just as quickly, celebrities can disappear from the limelight for a multitude of reasons. Fame has become a quickly changing facet of our culture because we have so many ways to connect with the world. We also answer a letter from a listener who is worried her fangirling might cross the line into obsession.
06/02/1844m 38s

Love Letters

So many of the letters we get in our inbox are about love, so we decided to dedicate an entire episode to them! We're talking about what it's like to crave "the chase", how to appear more approachable when you're independent, long distance relationships and much more. A listener opens up to us about her bisexuality and how her upbringing may have stifled her freedom to explore it -- now, her marriage to her husband is stable but sexless. We also answer a letter from a listener who isn't sure what kind of relationship she should have with an ex whom she treated badly. As we get closer to Valentine's Day, the ins and outs of love are in the air - use this time to reflect on your feelings and remember to be patient with yourself and those you love. P.S. Thanks to RXBAR for supporting Ladies Who Lunch. Get 25% off your first order at with the promo code LWL.
30/01/1841m 21s

On Being Judgmental

This week is all about judgment. We are all inundated with explicit judgments, like the number of likes, faves, retweets, positive and negative comments on our social media. People who interpret their worth from things like the approval and attention of others are especially vulnerable to depression, especially in this environment saturated with judgment. We're talking about how we deal with judgment and criticism in our daily lives. Ingrid and Cat share some things they've done to dive into compassion and stop judging others. We can't always control the adversity we experience in our lives, but we can control how we respond to it. P.S. Thank you to LOLA for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! For 60% off your first order, visit and enter LWL when you subscribe.
23/01/1850m 14s

Non-Romantic Rejection with Chris Klemens

Our friend Chris Klemens joins us this week to talk about rejection. Being involuntary forced to leave a job or professional relationship can swirl you into a downpour of emotion: embarrassment, depression, worthlessness, self-pity and shame. As someone who recently got fired, Chris gives us insight into how that feeling of failure affected his self-worth. Cat unexpectedly reached the end of a professional relationship, and her confidence took a massive hit. Your identity is deeply embedded with what you do, so how does being rejected affect your relationship to vulnerability in your life?
16/01/1858m 25s

Mistakes We've Made in Our Careers

We're both on what some people would consider an "unusual" career path. We're so grateful for the opportunity we have to share our passions with the world, but we still have those "I wish I knew this before I started" times of reflection. In these moments, it's important to revisit our true intentions onto this less traditional career path. Ingrid shares a story about the worst feedback she's ever gotten and how she came up with a solution that allowed her to move forward. Cat tells us that she recently faced backlash from something she said on her YouTube channel and shares how the experience made her more mindful for the next time around. When you mess up, how do you own your piece in the puzzle and not place blame on other people? How do we navigate times of uncertainty in a world that demands self-confidence?
09/01/1843m 15s

Our Highs + Lows of 2017

Happy New Year! Reflecting on the past year is something that we all tend to do around New Year's Eve. Looking back on the year is not about beating yourself up and seeing what you need to do better, it's about reflection and gratitude. Even if you have plenty to be thankful for, it can be tough to know where to start, and it's easy to dwell on disappointments. We talk about how we've both been feeling stuck and uninspired this year. What can we do to look inward, move forward and focus on what we're passionate about? Ingrid shares her feelings about an unexpected loss of a family member and how it has changed the way she's looking at other relationships in her life. Cat has admittedly had the hardest year ever, and while she knows she'll probably deal with anxiety and depression for a long time, she explains how she's going to channel a feeling of change into a fresh start for 2018. Breaking down the highs and low of the past year can make you feel more capable and prepared to take on anything that come your way in the new year.
02/01/1854m 35s

Money Matters: How Making It and Not Making It Affects Relationships

This week, we’re talking about the thing a lot of people try not to talk Dating and navigating a relationship can be tough as is, but add in that tricky conversation about money, and things can get uncomfortable. Does income equality contribute to the way we choose our partners? How does money affect the dynamic between you and a partner? Is it something that can make or break a relationship? Too often, disagreements about money have little to do with money itself and more to do with issues of control, security, self esteem and love.
19/12/1751m 17s

Emotionally Surviving the Holidays: Dealing with Family, Lying and Loss

The holidays offer many reasons to be anxious and stressed. There are office parties, last-minute gifts, crowded malls and social pressures. But for a lot of us, the biggest source of holiday stress is family -- the dinner, the obligations, the conversations. As the holidays approach, some of us may be preparing ourselves for potentially uncomfortable, awkward or even unsafe situations that may happen when you get together with family. What do you do when you can't be yourself around the people you're supposed to love the most? What if the one person you relied on most for your comfort and tradition is no longer with you? With holiday family reunions right around the corner, what are some ways that you can prepare yourself to cope and really enjoy the spirit of the season?
12/12/1736m 39s

Sexual Harassment in Hollywood and Beyond

Sexual harassment and assault claims have been all over the news recently as more and more people are accused of it. In this episode, we're sharing a few of our recent experiences with harassment and speak to an entertainment lawyer about the legal process when dealing with these allegations. With so many people being accused of sexual misconduct, it can be tough to make peace with accusations against your favorite comedian, actor, public figure, or even someone you know in real life. Sexual harassment and assault isn't exclusive to why do we think Hollywood is changing the conversation? Why is NOW the moment for the #MeToo movement?
05/12/1755m 19s

How We Stay Informed Without Losing Our Minds

Politics can be overwhelming, especially right now. We both make it a point to stay informed on what's going on, but we do it in different ways. We're sharing our favorite ways to get our news and our tips on how to choose what's right for you. It can be hard to navigate through feelings of guilt and anxiety when deciding what to focus your energy on. There are so many things that deserve our time and work -- but just because you're not personally invested in something, doesn't mean it isn't important. Rather than getting into fights and initiating never-ending debates, how can you activate yourself and your friends to make real change?
28/11/1752m 56s

New Beginnings

We're back! We're filling you guys in on what we've been up to and why we've been gone for so long. We're in brand new places with both the podcast and in our own lives! Cat shares what it's been like for her to go back to school in her late 20s. Why did she decide to go back and what's different this time around? We're also discussing our experiences when we moved away from home and what it was like to start again.
21/11/1739m 6s

Color in the Queer Community (with Melantha Hodge)

As Pride Month comes to an end, we chat with our friend Melantha Hodge about working in the music industry as a gay woman of color. How has it affected the way she's been treated by men in the business? Why do certain cultures react differently to members of the gay community? We also debate whether or not the LGBTQ flag should also represent race, and help a listener who doesn't feel the need to come out about her sexuality. Society's constant need for labels can pressure you to publicize parts of yourself, even if that's out of your comfort zone. Whether you announce this personal information, or keep it private, how will you ultimately stick to your own decisions? P.S. Thank you Vanity Planet! Go to and get 50% off your first order with the code LWLvibe
27/06/1755m 40s

The Journey of Gender Fluidity

We continue Pride Month with special guest Connor Manning, who shares the experience of identifying as gender fluid. What is gender fluidity? How do you know if you're non-binary? We also ask Connor about which pronouns are preferred, how to deal with frustration when you're misunderstood, and how to identify as a male even if you don't relate to society's idea of masculinity. It could take a while for others to fully accept your gender fluidity, but all that matters is that you accept yourself. You're free to become whoever you want to be - so take charge and start leading the life you deserve. P.S. We love RXBAR! Get 25% off your first order at and use promo code LWL P.P.S. Thanks to Sunbasket! Go to and get your first three meals FREE
20/06/1758m 45s

Taking Pride in Your Bisexuality (with Alayna Fender)

This week, our friend Alayna Fender shares her personal story of being bisexual. What are the ways we define bisexuality? Why does the LGBTQ community scrutinize people who are bisexual? We also explore the negative stereotypes surrounding this identity, and help a listener who fears that she'll be deemed "not queer enough" for having a boyfriend. Although it's common to feel these insecurities, just know that you are always worthy of your sexual identity. How will you own up to it and celebrate who you truly are? P.S. Thanks to Jet for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get 20% off your first 2 orders over $35 at by using the promo code LWL at check out. P.P.S. Thanks to LOLA for supporting this podcast! To get 60% of your first order, visit and enter LWL when you subscribe.

Being a Gay Woman (with Cammie Scott and Alexis G. Zall)

We start our LGBTQ+ month with special guests Cammie Scott and Alexis G. Zall to talk about all things lesbian. Is there more pressure to look or behave a certain way after coming out? How can you deal with people who don't believe that you're gay? We also debate our feelings on the term "lesbian," investigate the stereotype that gay women hate men, and help a listener who is struggling with internal homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality. We all tend to label ourselves and consequently stress about people's opinions on our sexual identities. But how will you dump that mentality, embrace your sexual fluidity, and explore your true self? P.S. Thank you Pet Parcel for supporting our podcast! Go to and get 10% off your first order with the code LWL10. P.P.S. Thanks to Wag! Check out the Wag app and you’ll get your first walk FREE
06/06/171h 3m

Reflecting on Mental Health Month

As May comes to an end, we review our conversations focused on mental health. What were the biggest surprises we learned? Did we change our opinions about "13 Reasons Why"? We also share a listener's new journey with antidepressants after moving to a foreign country, and read a letter about dealing with a bipolar relative whose behavior has taken a complete 180 for the worse. Mental illness doesn't discriminate, and it affects more people than you might think. The pain and shame is often swept under the rug - but just by starting a dialogue around it, we can support those in need of healing. P.S. Thanks to Audible! Listen to Audible’s new original series Where Should We Begin? Details at Audible and Amazon Prime members listen free. P.P.S. Thank you ShopSpring! Get 20% off your first purchase with code LWL at checkout.
30/05/1754m 3s

The "13 Reasons Why" Controversy

This week, we share our "13 Reasons Why" debate from Playlist Live with special guests Kati Morton and Lisa Filipelli. Where did the show succeed, but also fail? Was the graphic visual of Hannah Baker's suicide just a ploy to get attention? We also explain why we're frustrated with the depiction of mental health treatment and school counselors, why this show panders to vulnerable teens, and where to get help if you're struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. There are resources and people that will help you, so stay strong and know that there is hope. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem - but much better solutions are out there too. P.S. Thanks to Audible for supporting our podcast! Listen to Audible’s new original series: Where Should We Begin? Details at Audible and Amazon Prime members listen free. P.P.S. Thank you Pet Parcel! Go to and get 10% off your first order with the code LWL10.
23/05/1748m 15s

Overcome Your Eating Disorder

To continue Mental Health Awareness Month, Kati Morton is back to help us address the biggest questions on eating disorders. What causes people to have anorexia, binge eating, or bulimia? How can you get treatment for your ED? How can you support someone who is in the recovery process? We also discuss the dangers of going into starvation mode, how we can use positive language about our bodies, how to tell your parents that you have an eating disorder, and how to fight through the anxiety of eating out. The ED voice can be loud, but change is possible if you take the steps to beat it. How will you start switching your inner dialogue about food and repair the relationship with your body? P.S. We love ShopSpring for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get 20% off your first purchase with code LWL at checkout. P.P.S. Also thanks to Wag! for supporting our podcast. Download Wag! on iTunes or Google Play and sign up to get your first walk FREE
16/05/171h 29m

What Is OCD?

This week, licensed therapist and professional mental health expert Kati Morton helps us answer your questions about obsessive compulsive disorder. What are the symptoms of OCD? How can you treat it? Is self-diagnosing reliable? We also dive into your letters about overcoming the stigma around mental health, differentiating intrusive thoughts vs. homosexual thoughts, and telling your therapist that their methods aren't working. Taking care of yourself is your number one priority, so get the help that fits you best. It's going to be a challenge to sit with the discomfort, but you can also sit with the comfort of knowing that it will get better. P.S. Thank you LeTote for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Go to and use promo code LWL to get 50% off your first month.
09/05/171h 17m

Trying Out Therapy

In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, we take an exploration through therapy. What should you expect from a therapist? Why do people go to therapy? Do you always have to talk about your deep emotional issues? We also compare different types of therapy, psychologists vs. psychiatrists, and the ways we interact with our own therapists. Meeting with a mental health professional can be like dating - it's a little awkward at first, and it might take a few tries before you discover a type who fits your needs. But once you find the right therapist, you'll soon learn that the search is totally worthwhile. P.S. Thanks to Jet for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get $10 off your first 3 orders over $35 at by using the promo code LWL at check out.
02/05/171h 14m

Forgiving Your Parents

Our journey through reconciliation finishes up with the difficulties of forgiving our parents. How can you move past the inevitable pain that enters this relationship? If you forgive them, are you condoning their behavior? We also help a listener who resents her mother for creating an unstable childhood, and answer a letter about receiving an apology - but still feeling unheard. Parents aren't perfect, and they're going to affect us whether we like it or not. How will you leave the wounded child behind, make room for compassion, and take responsibility for your future with or without them? P.S. Thank you ShopSpring for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get 20% off your first purchase with code LWL at checkout.
25/04/171h 1m

When Women Say "I'm Sorry"

Apologizing is an important step towards reconciliation, but sometimes we say "sorry" too much. Why do women typically apologize more than men? Can you still be a feminist and use these undermining words? How can you be more aware of them in your everyday speech? We also investigate the issues of assuming girls are "more difficult," the dilemma of policing how women speak, and a letter from a listener who wants to stop over-apologizing at work. Language is one of the essential ways we express ourselves, and ultimately your vocabulary is your choice. How will your use of words make you feel you proud and confident about who you are? P.S. Thank you LeTote for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Go to and use promo code LWL to get 50% off your first month.
18/04/171h 4m

Releasing Resentment Towards Ourselves

Our reconciliation theme continues with forgiveness towards ourselves and our past. How do you transition from bitterness towards compassion? Can you take too much responsibility for painful events in your life? As adults, how can we help younger generations recognize when they aren't accountable for difficult times? We also discuss a listener's guilt for unintentionally hurting her ex, another listener's choice to not reconcile with her absent father, and a letter from a victim who hates how her past self reacted to a traumatic event. Although you should allow yourself to feel anger and frustration for the dark memories, you can't let them haunt you for the rest of your life. How will you free yourself from this shadow and instead, start celebrating your successes? P.S. Thank you thredUP for supporting our podcast! Go to and enter promo code LWL to get an extra 40% off your first order.
11/04/171h 6m

Reconciling With An Ex

To start this month's theme of reconciliation, we dive into the process of amending past romantic relationships. How do you know if you should let an ex re-enter your life? What red flags indicate that getting back together is a bad idea? We also debate the ways we show forgiveness, and read three letters about reconciling with past partners - all which end in very different ways. You're entitled to the feelings of pain and bitterness from a breakup, but replaying the past can prevent you from moving forward. What will you do to stop harboring those emotions and start living in the present? P.S. Thanks to ShopSpring for their support of Ladies Who Lunch! Get 20% off your first purchase with code LWL at checkout.
04/04/1756m 54s

A Wrap Up on Honesty

Now that we've thoroughly explored this month's theme of honesty, we wrap it up by sharing your responses and experiences with this incredibly complex topic. When should someone seek professional help for their compulsion to lie? How do you come clean about your past false claims? We also read a listener's story about the consequences of over sharing, and reflect on the biggest takeaways we learned from this month's discussions with each other and of course - all of you. P.S. Thanks to LeTote for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Go to and use promo code LWL to get 50% off your first month.
28/03/1740m 56s

When Silence Becomes Lying

We wrap up our honesty series with the murky grey topic of lying by omission. Is a white lie just as bad as a straight out lie? When is it okay not to share all the information? Should you tell your partner about harmless flirting and all your exes? We also read a letter about the consequences of hiding your past from your kids, and help another listener who fears that being honest will ruin a relationship that has already survived so much. You might think that withholding details from someone will protect them from the harsh pain of the truth. But if staying silent will save your own neck, that's when you should reevaluate - whose self-interest are you really serving? P.S. Thanks to ShopSpring for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Download the Spring app in the App Store and use code LWL for 20% off your first purchase.
21/03/1753m 0s

Being Honest with Yourself

Our journey through honesty travels into the difficulties of being truthful with ourselves. How can you be more aware of your shortcomings? Are you necessarily a bad person for lying about who you are? Should we always strive for self-improvement, or is there a point when we should just accept our faults? We also determine why we lie to ourselves, explore the fear of judgment for revealing our raw identity, and help a listener who is finally comfortable with her sexuality - but now she has to be dishonest with everyone else. You can work on your imperfections, or let them box you in. Ultimately it's in your control. How will you acknowledge your flaws and break through the labels that you've stuck on yourself? P.S. Big thanks to thredUP for supporting our podcast! Go to and enter promo code LWL to get an extra 40% off your first order.
14/03/171h 10m

The Bitter Feeling of Being Betrayed

To continue this month's theme of honesty, we travel through the frustrating process of being betrayed. How do you overcome trust issues after a friend or partner has lied to you? Why do we gaslight other people? We also share a letter from a victim who can't hold a grudge against his betrayers, and help another listener whose boyfriend became far from the man she once loved. We're often deceived by those we love most, which makes the experience so painful to bear. But their redemption is not your responsibility. How will you move past their cloud of deception and recreate your own reality?
07/03/1759m 39s

When Fake News Becomes a Real Problem

We launch our new, month-long honesty series by sifting through the issue of fake news. How do you know which news stories and sources are trustworthy? Should social media sites be responsible for news accuracy and neutrality? How can you avoid getting trapped in your own echo chamber? We also discuss the dangers of Drumpf's war with the press, the appeal of clickbait titles, and a letter from a listener who is a minority, a feminist, and a Drumpf supporter - but hasn't felt discrimination until the media and liberals started outcasting conservatives. Although it takes a lot of effort to read and research accurate stories, we need to support the outlets that take the time to really investigate the truth. If their voices are silenced, how will we ever know what is fact or fiction? P.S. Thank you ThredUp for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Go to and enter promo code LWL to get an extra 40% off your first order.
28/02/171h 15m

Dealing with Depression

This week, we sink into the isolating, yet common experience of depression. What causes depression? What are the symptoms? Why are women more likely than men to suffer from this mental disorder? We also share Cat's journey with antidepressants, different ways to treat depression, and a listener letter about helping a loved one who won't take the initiative to get better. These negative emotions can be completely random, or born out of crisis - but either way, you're not alone in this battle. How will you get back on your feet and stop depression from consuming who you are? P.S. Thanks to Audible for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get a free audiobook with a free 30 day trial at
21/02/1755m 19s

Embracing Insecurities

This week, we dive into the universal experience of feeling insecure. How can you break the cycle of self-hatred and accept yourself? Can your poor self-esteem ruin a relationship? How can you stop comparing your life to what you see on social media? We also explore insecurities between women and men, discuss ways to deal with high school and workplace bullies, and help a listener who fears she'll stay single forever if she can't change her negative inner dialogue. No one is perfect, but you can't constantly beat yourself up for your flaws. How will you start the stream of positive thinking and finally love who you are? P.S. Thanks to ShopSpring for supporting this episode of Ladies Who Lunch! Go to and use code LWL for 20% off your first purchase.
14/02/171h 5m

Can Guys and Girls Be Just Friends?

The platonic friendship is a subject of much debate - and this week, we attempt to find the answer. Can men and women really have a close, but non-romantic relationship? Should you talk to your "just friend" about the sexual attraction and sexual tension? Why do most guys seek these friendships, and what makes them stay in it? We also discuss what this friendship looks like in the LGBTQ+ community and the YouTube community, how to respond to the doubters, and how to deal with jealous partners. Just because someone has certain genitalia, it doesn't always mean that they're interested in something more. Will you open up the door of friendship and welcome them in? P.S. Thanks to thredUp for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get an EXTRA 40% off your first order at and use the code LWL
07/02/1749m 26s

When to Let Go of Your Dreams

This week, we determine when it's time to set aside your dreams. How do you move on after you say goodbye to your aspirations? Why is failure and rejection good for us? How do you find out what really fulfills you? We also compare self-confidence vs. entitlement, explain why we should approach goals with a healthy dose of pessimism, and help a listener who thinks perseverance is taking her nowhere. Although we should all have dreams, the harsh truth of reality is that we can't always get what we want. But sometimes when you let go, you find an even better option that provides you with a meaningful life.
31/01/1746m 2s

The Different Ways We Fall In Love

Finding that perfect partner is a fantasy that's been spoon-fed to us since we were born. This week, we take a realistic look at the different ways we fall in love. How do you know when you're in love? How long does it take? Are we more likely to stay in a relationship without the idea of "til death do us part"? We also compare emotional vs. rational love, explain why we hate grand romantic gestures, and help a listener who is considering a passionless arranged marriage. Falling in love could be an instantaneous spark, or a slow, eventual realization. But don't expect to check off that "perfect soulmate" and "happily ever after" on your bucket list - because life and love sure are messy. How will you adjust your expectations to sustain a lasting, loving relationship? P.S. Thank you ShopSpring for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Download the Spring app in the App Store and use code LWL for 20% off your first purchase.
24/01/1744m 2s

Seeking Social Acceptance

In this week's episode, we cope with the feeling of not being accepted by your friends and family. How do you climb out of the pit of self-hatred? How has the internet affected our self-acceptance? We also determine when the need for approval becomes unhealthy, why a comment about Miley Cyrus sparked an argument between Cat and her mom, and whether you can change someone whose values don't align with your identity. Sometimes we don't make the most popular decision, and it steers us away from the easier path. But in the end, what is right for you - living an admiral life that doesn't reflect your authentic self, or living your truth?
17/01/171h 2m

Birth Control Choices

This week, we lay out some popular birth control methods that could work for you. Which form of birth control is the most reliable? How do you maximize the effectiveness? Why else would you want to use birth control, other than to avoid pregnancy? We also explain why we're both anti pill, why older women were skeptical of Cat's IUD, and what side effects we dread the most. The range of options can be intimidating, and it takes some experimentation (with the possibility of physical pain). But remember - it's always better to be safe than sorry.
10/01/1738m 34s

The Quarter-Life Crisis

Now that 2017 has arrived, we all feel a little anxious about what we still haven't accomplished - but believe we "should." So this week, we sort out the struggles of the common quarter-life crisis. Why do we experience these growing pains at this particular age? How can you find out what fulfills you and turn it into your career? We also share Ingrid's prescription for having a good day, the dilemma of loving your job but needing more purpose, and a letter from a listener who feels guilty for abandoning her 12-year dream. As evolving creatures, we'll inevitably want to stir up the status quo and start a new journey - even if the path or the ultimate destination isn't clear. How will you say goodbye to the life you know and move forward to find what's meaningful to you?
03/01/1742m 54s

Marriage: True Love or a Trap? (Rebroadcast)

We're off for the holidays, but we'll be back with new episodes next week! In the meantime, we're sharing one of our favorites, when our best friends Eileen and Carrie joined us to discuss the hype around marriage. Why has marriage become the ultimate goal? Will we ever tie the knot? Can a couple still love each other but not be in love? We also share our biggest fears about marriage, the media's impact on our views, and the fate of our last names after the honeymoon. Marriage has been redefined from a transaction, an evolutionary necessity, a testament of love - but honestly, it's whatever you want it to be. What does marriage mean to you?
27/12/161h 2m

Living in Post-Election Limbo

Now that we've had some time to digest the results of the election, we dig into our experiences through the aftermath. As Hillary supporters, how are we dealing with Trump fans? What have been the benefits of this outcome? We also explain why we're glad this burst our bubbles, how you can be more active about issues that worry you, and how to politely confront relatives about their dismissive political comments. Regardless of the results, we're all human beings with different ideas of the truth. So instead of labelling each other as good or evil, we need to recognize and respect that everyone has a right to their own beliefs. What will you do to keep an open mind and listen to the hearts of others in all political parties? P.S. Thank you to Texture for supporting this episode of Ladies Who Lunch! Go to for your free 14-day trial.
20/12/1646m 50s

How to Survive Family Time During the Holidays

The holidays are fast approaching, which can be exciting - but also incredibly stressful. So this week, we help you define your own holiday joy. How can you prevent holiday loneliness? What should you do when family conflict arises? We also reveal a game plan for surviving the parties from beginning to end, suggest ways to create your own holiday traditions, and share advice to a listener who dreads family gatherings because of a past traumatic event. Tis the season to celebrate, but don't let the expectations of others to ruin it. What will you do to enjoy your own holiday cheer?
13/12/1658m 36s

Losing the Fear Of Losing Your Virginity

This week, we break into some common problems about virginity. How will you know when you're ready? What are the consequences you should consider before losing your virginity? How can you get over sex anxiety? We also explain whether or not you should practice with a vibrator, and how to talk to your partner about having your first sexual experience. No matter how your sex ed class defined virginity - as a gift, a stigma, a rite of passage, or a natural thing - it's yours to own, and you can do whatever you darn well please with it. Will you choose to ditch the fears and let virginity empower you?
06/12/1655m 37s

Figuring Out Family Dynamics

This week, special guest Meg DeAngelis joins our exploration through the impact of family in personal growth. What's the difference between being an only child, sharing families, and having a twin? Why are we more likely to fight with parents instead of friends? What are the perks of living alone? We also discuss how we survived past roommates, why Cat actually wants her sister to move to LA, and how to protect yourself from your concern for toxic family members. We can't control who ends up in our family tree - but we can control our expectations of them. Through the ups, the downs, the hugs, the tears - how will you let your family relationships affect your individuality?
29/11/161h 6m

Fetishes & Fantasies

In this week's episode, we strip down the conversation around sexual fantasies and fetishes. How should you talk to your partner about your fantasy? Why is it considered weird if a woman joins the "locker room talk"? Would we ever try group sex? We also reveal what scenarios turn us on, what sexual device every lady should carry around, and whether or not it's wrong to shame the kink. Sharing your fetishes or fantasies can be awkward and uncomfortable. But once the idea is out in the open, just have fun with it. Will you lift the taboo and seek out your sexual desires?
22/11/1654m 50s

Unveiling the Mask of Makeup

This week, we peel off the layers of issues surrounding makeup. Does makeup undermine feminism? Why do - or don't - people use makeup? At what point does your self-worth rely too much on your beauty routine? We also debate why wearing makeup in the workplace can be a lose-lose situation, why Cat had a makeup-free meetup, and how to stop seeking validation for your appearance. Whether you use makeup as a creative outlet, a way to have "me time," or as a confidence booster, it should always be your choice. How do you define your own beauty?
15/11/1641m 18s

Attacking Your Anxiety

This week, we dive into the deep, dark pool of anxiety. What are some common anxiety symptoms? How can you calm yourself during panic attacks? How do you find an anxiety treatment that works for you? We also explore the effects of therapy and medication, explain why sometimes it's best to give up, and help a listener whose anxiety is affecting her personality. Battling your anxiety seems like a daunting task, but avoidance will only make it worse. Will you take the baby steps to stop living in fear?
08/11/1655m 38s

No Shame in Sex Drives

In this week's episode, we take a trip through sex drives. Why do we assume men have higher sex drives than women? Will your libido die out as you age, or does it get stronger? How can we prevent the shame placed on women for acting on their sexual desires? We also explore how to break free from a suppressed sex drive, why women in their 30s are especially horny, and how to communicate to your partner if you want sex but they're never in the mood. Everyone's sex drive is different, so we shouldn't let general cultural standards dictate our sexual behavior. When will you proudly claim your spot on the sex drive spectrum?
01/11/1645m 46s

Don't Tell Me How To Dress

This week, we dissect the problematic idea of "dressing your age." Why are we so quick to criticize the appearances of older women? Is there really a certain way adults should dress? How do you know if your beauty routine is feeding into cultural expectations? We also share our opinions on wrinkles, the effects of advertising in the beauty industry, and the best responses to judgment about fashion decisions and big boobs. Society has convinced us that you need to behave, look, and dress a certain way as the years go by - but at the end of the day it's your body, your choice. How will you embrace your body's natural progression and grow comfortable in your own skin?
25/10/1651m 1s

Break the Habit of Lying

In this week's episode, we sort through the many factors of lying. Why do people lie? Are there situations when too much honesty can be cruel? How do you stop lying? We also compare compulsive liars vs. pathological liars, explore lying as a coping mechanism, and help a listener forgive herself for being untruthful about her sexuality. Confessing the facts is often followed by guilt, shame, and pain. But accepting a life of deceit is a lie to yourself, which can be the most dangerous of all. Will you overcome the fear and take a chance on the truth?
18/10/1648m 4s

The #Debate

In this episode, we jump into the storm of the 2016 presidential debate. Are Trump's obscene comments justified as common "locker room talk"? As feminists, could we ever empathize with Trump supporters? What topics do we want them to discuss in the next debate? We also share our political evolutions from conservatives to liberals, Clinton's biggest weaknesses, and our greatest fears about a Trump presidency. Neither candidate is perfect, but take a good, long look at the options. Do you want a president who breaks societal barriers and actually understands federal policies? Or a racist who perpetuates violence and sexual assault?
11/10/1657m 58s

The Female Orgasm

This week, sex educator Laci Green joins us to clear up the fog surrounding the female orgasm. What are the different ways to have an orgasm? How can you overcome the stigma around women having orgasms? We also debunk the worst media myths about sex, share the details of Ingrid's most intense orgasm ever, explore the female sexual anatomy, and explain how to effectively communicate to your partner to achieve an orgasm. Since this topic has often been considered taboo, the confusion can make it difficult to climax. How will you break down these walls to get the orgasm you deserve? P.S. This episode is brought to you by Casper. Thanks Casper!
04/10/1646m 13s

The Complications of Cheating

In this episode, we dip into the murky grey waters of cheating. What pulls people into infidelity? Can that betrayal ever make the relationship stronger? How can you tell if you're walking down the path to cheating? We also debate if a cheater should always confess to their partner, investigate human nature in monogamous relationships, and share the dilemmas of being "the other woman." Although we're quick to blame cheaters as bad people, there are often underlying reasons why someone would enter a tangled situation. What's really keeping you involved in this toxic triangle? P.S. Thank you to Smile Direct Club for supporting our podcast! Get 50% off your $95 evaluation fee by visiting
27/09/1648m 19s

Period Problems

This week, we explore one of our favorite topics - periods! As a bonus, Cora founder Molly Hayward joins us to help answer some menstruation mysteries. How is your poop affected during this time of the month? What is the one period color that you should worry about? How can your period make sex more exciting? We also share our most horrifying period stories and guide a listener through tampon 101. Nowadays, there's a huge variety of products to suit all types of comfort levels. But there's still a ton of progress we can make, both nationally and globally. How will you open up the conversation and help erase the taboo? P.S. Thank you to HelloFresh for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Go to and use the code lwl to get $35 off first week of deliveries.
20/09/1657m 48s

Protection Against Toxic People

This week, we explore the different tools to handling toxic people. What are the red flags of a toxic person? Should you confront them about the situation or just let it go? We also discuss getting involved in a friend's toxic relationship, depersonalizing someone's projected negativity, and protecting yourself from a loved one who is constantly unstable and unsupportive. There are plenty of ways to deal with these types of people, whether it's by establishing boundaries or killing them with kindness. What will you do to stop their poison from seeping into your life? P.S. Thank you to Glossier for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! Get 20% off your first purchase at by using the promo code lwl.
13/09/1645m 36s

Are You Racist?

This week we sink deep into the topic of racism - not an easy conversation, but undoubtedly a necessary one. How do you know if you're racist? Are ignorance and silence harmful? Can we ever be completely free of prejudiced thoughts? We also explain why the term "white privilege" perpetuates a racist mentality, why good intentions don't excuse discriminatory behavior, and how to confront someone you love about their bigoted remarks. It may be 2016 but there's still a lot of progress to be made. How will you be active, bring about awareness, and combat the sugarcoated reality our society uses to deal with racism?
06/09/1654m 4s

Breakups, Part Four: Dating Your Ex

For this bonus finale of our breakup series, we debate the dilemma of getting back together with an ex. How can you tell if you actually want to rekindle the relationship, or just be friends? How much time should pass after the initial breakup? Even though the good times might convince you to get back together, you both need a mutual understanding about the ugly times, too. Can you acknowledge the past, forgive your partner, and start anew? P.S. Thank you to ELOQUII for supporting this episode of Ladies Who Lunch! To receive 50% off your first item and 40% off any additional items, go to and use the promo code LWL at check out.
30/08/1631m 45s

Breakups, Part Three: Friend Breakups

In the third installment of the breakup series, we dig into the sometimes more painful, more awkward predicament of the friend breakup. How do you know when you should deactivate a friendship? How did we prevent our own conflict from ruining our relationship? We also share how to minimize the drama in a friend group, and help a listener who is skeptical of her ex-friend's intentions for returning to her social group. Even though it's easier to walk away and quietly let a sour situation die, some people are worth fighting for. Are you willing to confront the issue, communicate the problem, and heal your broken friendship?
23/08/1646m 1s

Breakups, Part Two: The Rejectors

Our second episode of this breakup series delves into the dilemma of being the rejector, the one to call it quits. How do you know if there's a right time to break up? How can you break up with someone by being direct, and without being an asshole? We also compare the pros and cons of taking a break, and discuss how pressure from society may convince us to stay in an unwanted relationship. Debating a breakup is often riddled with guilt for hurting your partner and fear of never finding "the one." But honestly ask yourself - Do you really want that person? Or do you just want the relationship?
16/08/1640m 32s

Breakups, Part One: The Rejected

We kick off our breakup series with a topic that floods our inbox: rejection. How do you deal with the heartache of getting dumped? Is it ever healthy to stay in touch with your ex after they break up with you? What do you do when you have the urge to obsessively follow your ex on social media? Surviving the emotional aftermath of a breakup is complex and exhausting. How do you move forward with seemingly unbearable heartache?
09/08/1649m 6s

Freedom From Regret

Regrets -- we've all had a few. This week, we explore the different ways to handle those situations that didn't quite end in our favor. What have we regretted the most? Is it possible to have no regrets? Can you ever overcome the remorse that results from your decisions? We also share how Ingrid's second grade haircut spiraled into regrets over friendship, how to use FOMO to your advantage, and help a listener who can't shake a life-changing loss. When we dwell on the "what ifs" that could've been, it's natural to feel ashamed, disappointed, or even hopeless. But if that paralyzes your ability to move on, you might be in trouble. How will you climb over the barriers of regret and embrace the life that is yours?
02/08/1642m 3s

How We Turned Our Hobbies into Careers

This week, we discuss the ebb and flow of using passion to pay the bills. How do you deal with judgment and criticism from friends, family, or reputable companies? We also talk about the pros and cons of working for yourself, the fear of selling out, and the anxiety around career paths that come with no guarantees. How do we navigate times of uncertainty in a world that demands self confidence and doesn't always embrace the humbling moments of mediocrity we all experience?
26/07/1652m 50s

An Honest Look at Friends With Benefits

Entering the friends with benefits situation is like stepping into a pool of honey - it's sweet at the moment, but it can get real sticky real fast. So why do we seek these types of relationships? Can you ever go back to "just friends"? We also discuss the pros and cons of being FWB with your ex, and the fear of losing a best friend once that label is gone. These relationships can be fun, but if you aren't honest with yourself and your FWB partner, someone can get really hurt. What can you do to prevent this can-be complicated friendship from becoming a big mess?
19/07/1638m 44s

A Prescription for Loneliness

In this week's episode, we investigate the spiral into loneliness. Why do we feel alone even when we're surrounded by people? Is the internet contributing to our feelings of isolation? It's common to feel withdrawn from the world around us, but if we blame others for not understanding who we truly are, we only fall further into solitude. What changes can you make to reconnect with the world and cultivate genuine relationships?
12/07/1642m 17s

Listener Letter Faves

Sharing your stories has been such a valuable part of this show. So this week, we honor you guys by bringing you some of our favorite moments from letter time - the fear of being forever alone, last name debates, and Greek god bods. We'll be back next week with more episodes, so join our conversation by emailing
05/07/1651m 41s

Own Your Shame

Trigger warning: This episode contains discussions of rape and sexual assault. In this week's episode, we investigate the dark, haunting feeling of shame. What moments have been our biggest source of shame? Why and how do we hide behind it? We also investigate why society is quick to blame victims, how to stop people from making you feel unworthy, and why it's important to share your shame. If we let the heavy weight of shame drag us down, it only makes it harder to climb out of the black pit of self-hatred. How will you free yourself from the chains of shame? P.S. Thank you to LOLA for supporting Ladies Who Lunch! For 60% off your first order of tampons, visit and enter LWL when you subscribe.
28/06/1638m 13s

Unpacking Personal Identities

This week, we take a long reflection at our ever-evolving identities. How have our personal identities changed the most? How can you overcome an identity crisis? We also examine how our families and mixed backgrounds have impacted our individual growth, why we feel pressured to label ourselves, and why we feel like failures when those labels no longer apply. Personal identities almost never stay the same - it's scary, but also just part of life. How will you accept this change and own the freedom to be your genuine self?
21/06/1654m 15s

Justifying Jealousy & Envy at PlayList Live

In this Playlist Live special, we explore the complications of jealousy and envy. What's the difference between these two emotions? How can you be less jealous in relationships? We also discuss why we have these feelings, how to stop comparing your friends' success to your own, and how to tell your significant other that you're jealous. We all experience jealousy and envy at some point. But how do you know if it's okay to act on it?
14/06/1630m 28s

Dealbreakers: The No-No's of Relationships

This week we spill about dealbreakers - the nah-nah-nah's, the romance ruiners. What are our biggest dealbreakers? Should cheating always result in breakups? Would we pick unconditional love over a million dollars? We also examine how our lists of red flags have evolved, discover why Cat is still single, and help a married listener find the balance between compromise and conformity. Of course, no one is perfect. But when your significant other does something that you absolutely cannot stand, are there other options besides change your views or get out? P.S. Big thanks to Audible for supporting our show! For your free 30-day trial, check out
07/06/1629m 49s

Balancing Independence & Validation

This week is a bit of a two-parter, as we investigate the relationship between independence and validation. Why are some of us more self-reliant than others? Is it dangerous to rely on external validation (especially from the internet) for personal confidence? Why is a stranger's compliment more fulfilling than the love from your significant other? We also help a listener who is afraid of falling into another codependent romance. Validation is important; but how do you channel that idea into a reality of empowerment and motivation, rather than destruction?
31/05/1651m 19s

Marriage: True Love or a Trap?

Our best friends Eileen and Carrie join us this week to discuss the hype around marriage. Why has marriage become the ultimate goal? Will we ever tie the knot? Can a couple still love each other but not be in love? We also share our biggest fears about marriage, the media's impact on our views, and the fate of our last names after the honeymoon. Marriage has been redefined from a transaction, an evolutionary necessity, a testament of love - but honestly, it's whatever you want it to be. What does marriage mean to you?
24/05/161h 2m

Complicated Crushes

Crushing on someone? Join the party! This week, we spill the beans on our current, very complicated crushes. What do we do with these feelings? How can you tell if you have a crush? Is it okay to crush on someone when you know they're in a relationship? We also compare our crush histories, explain how to protect yourself from a crush, and read a letter from a listener who is torn between new romance and an old friendship. Crushes can be a fun hobby, an unfamiliar beast - but most of all, a wild ball of emotions that you can't always control. What do you do when you're caught in a crush?
17/05/1647m 34s

The Meaning of Motherhood

In honor of Mother's Day, we try to make some sense of motherhood. How do we define motherhood? What kind of unconventional mother figures raised us? Will we eventually become mothers? We also discuss the belief that motherhood is a woman's ultimate purpose in life, share a listener's shattered dreams of raising her own biological children, and debate whether it's okay to regret having kids. Freedom and empowerment for any mom - as well as their child - is a difficult balance. How do you think our ideas of motherhood will evolve in the years to come?
10/05/1648m 11s

Introverts in an Extroverted World

We're both proud introverts, but surviving in a world built around extroverts can be tough. How can you thrive in a workplace that's surrounded by people? What are the pros and cons of dating introverts vs. extroverts? We also discuss how to break the fear of public speaking, how the internet gave power to introverts, and how to navigate an introverted vs. extroverted argument. Even though our world covets the noise of extroverts, there are plenty of benefits on the other side of the spectrum. How will you embrace the quiet space?
03/05/1647m 13s

Sexuality & Stereotypes

We've made tons of progress in the LGBTQ+ community, but there are many challenges that still exist. How do you keep heteronormative comments from pushing you further into the closet? Is it ever okay to ask someone if they're gay? As a lesbian, what do you do if a heterosexual guy is interested in you? We also discuss the pros and cons of coming out and the history behind queer stereotypes. The world is bigger and brighter, now, more than ever. How will you give yourself your best chance?
26/04/1648m 36s

Our Bodies, Our Stories

Our bodies are part of our story - including this week's conversation. Can you be too fat to be intimate? Is skinny-shaming just as bad as fat-shaming? Can too much body positivity be unhealthy? We also share our boobalutions and explore ways to deal with insecurities. Every body is different. So how do we navigate a world that often pressures us to fit into the same narrow standards?
19/04/1643m 36s

Online Dating: How Do You Do This Thing?!

This week we dive into online dating. How can you make the best profile? How do you build up the courage to meet an online match in person? What's the best way to break up after the first date? We also give tips on how to meet strangers safely, explain why Cat swipes left on hot guys, and help you avoid dates who could turn into bullies. Dating in general is nerve-racking, but is the internet making it easier for us or more intimidating? P.S. Take our survey! Go to to share your feedback with us.
12/04/1635m 10s

Feminism Now: Empowerment or Objectification?

In this episode, we debate the many aspects of feminism. Are Kim's nude photos an act of female empowerment or objectification? Do women deserve to be pissed off? Why are more females joining the porn industry? We also address a listener's question about why our society only values women for their looks. There's a fine line between empowerment and objectification. Where will you fall?
05/04/1638m 47s

Friendship or Friendless?

Welcome to the first episode of Ladies Who Lunch! In this episode, we explore the multifaceted world of friendship through the lens of our real life relationship. Can you have more than one best friend? How do you cultivate and maintain friendships as an adult? What do you do if you suck at small talk? We'll also be discussing a letter from a listener who is afraid of being friendless forever. If connection is something we all innately crave, why does it feel like good friends are so hard to find?
29/03/1646m 58s
Heart UK