The Art of Charm

In today’s episode, we cover emotions and empathy with Karla McLaren, a renowned expert in emotional intelligence and empathy development. As an award-winning author, educator, and social science researcher, Karla dedicated her career to helping individuals and organizations understand and harness the power of emotions. She developed the "Six Essential Aspects of Empathy" model, which breaks down empathy into accessible and actionable steps, making it possible for everyone to enhance their emotional skills. Karla's books, including "The Language of Emotions," "The Power of Emotions at Work," and "Embracing Anxiety," offer transformative insights into revaluing even the most challenging emotions, turning them into pathways for self-awareness, effective communication, and healthier relationships.  Join us for an enlightening conversation with Karla McLaren as she unpacks the intricate language of emotions and the vital role they play in our daily lives. Ever wondered why certain emotions feel so overpowering or why we struggle to articulate what we're feeling? Karla breaks down the complexities of emotional intelligence and empathy, offering practical tools to expand your emotional vocabulary and improve your communication skills. We explore how emotions are not the enemies of rationality but essential allies in decision-making and relationship-building. Discover how to manage challenging emotions like anger and jealousy, set healthy boundaries, and develop a deeper connection with yourself and others.  What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:00 Why do we often feel strong negative emotions even in our most loving relationships? How does vulnerability play a crucial role in the intensity of emotions experienced in close relationships? Introduction to Karla McLaren and her journey into exploring the language of emotions and empathy. Understanding Emotions – 00:02:46 What are emotions, and why are they essential to our rationality and decision-making? Why is it unhelpful to label emotions as simply ‘good’ or ‘bad’? How does expanding your emotional vocabulary improve your self-awareness and emotional regulation? Building an Emotional Vocabulary – 00:05:28 What are the benefits of having a broader emotional vocabulary? How can identifying the intensity of emotions help you manage them more effectively? Practical steps to enhance your emotional vocabulary and how it can lead to better communication. Anger and Boundaries – 00:16:01 What is the true purpose of anger, and how does it relate to setting boundaries? Common misconceptions about anger and how they can lead to unhealthy expressions or repression. Strategies for managing anger constructively to maintain and reinforce personal boundaries. Resist Emotional Manipulation – 00:27:20 What easy questions can you ask yourself to figure out if/how someone is trying to convince you to do something or think a certain way? The Role of Jealousy – 00:32:36 What triggers jealousy, and why is it considered a crucial social emotion? How to differentiate between healthy jealousy that sets boundaries and unhealthy reactions driven by insecurity. Tips on addressing jealousy in relationships through clear communication and understanding personal needs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we dive into the psychology of influence and brand growth with Leslie Zane, a pioneer in the field of behavioral science and marketing. As the founder and CEO of Triggers Brand Consulting, Leslie has been at the forefront of helping top brands like Coca-Cola, McDonald’s, and Nike accelerate their growth by understanding the subconscious drivers of consumer behavior. With a background that spans behavioral science, marketing, and brand strategy, she is also the author of “The Power of Instinct: The New Rules of Persuasion in Business and Life”, where she reveals how tapping into the instinctive mind can lead to unparalleled success in business and personal branding.  Join us for an eye-opening conversation with Leslie Zane as she reveals the power of the instinctive mind in shaping our decisions and brand preferences. Have you ever wondered why some brands stand out effortlessly while others struggle to make an impact? Leslie uncovers the subconscious drivers that influence our choices and explains how businesses—and individuals—can leverage these insights to gain a competitive edge. Leslie also shares practical tips for crafting a compelling personal brand that resonates on a deeper level. Discover how to tap into the instinctive mind to enhance your influence, master persuasion, and set yourself apart in both your professional and personal life. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:00 What drove Leslie Zane to pioneer the field of brand connectomes and behavioral science in marketing? How did Leslie’s early career experiences shape her understanding of consumer behavior and influence her approach to brand consulting? What are the key principles behind Leslie’s book, The Power of Instinct, and how can they be applied to both personal and business growth? The Instinctive Mind and Brand Connectome – 00:01:55 What is the instinctive mind, and why does it play a more significant role in decision-making than the conscious mind? How does the brand connectome influence consumer choices, and why is it crucial for brands to expand their connectome in consumers' minds? Why do brands need to stand for multiple associations rather than a single attribute to be successful? Building a Personal Brand with Subconscious Triggers – 00:07:22 How can individuals apply the principles of the brand connectome to develop a strong personal brand? What are growth triggers, and how can they be used to build positive associations quickly and effectively? Why is it important to create a holistic personal brand that connects with various aspects of people’s subconscious? Overcoming Legacy Brand Challenges – 00:11:49 Why do legacy brands have an inherent advantage, and how can new brands compete effectively? What are some examples of small brands overtaking legacy brands by using strategic triggers and targeted messaging? How can legacy brands continuously evolve their connectome to stay relevant and combat negative associations? Actionable Advice for Personal and Professional Growth – 00:21:55 How can listeners apply Leslie’s insights on brand connectomes and subconscious triggers to accelerate their careers and personal growth? What are the critical steps in building a personal brand that resonates with employers, clients, and networks? Why is it essential to control your narrative and make strategic connections between your brand and your target audience? Navigating Negative Associations and Competitive Strategies – 00:29:21 Why are negative associations so powerful, and how can they become significant barriers to brand growth? How can brands effectively address and replace negative associations with positive triggers? What competitive strategies can brands use to leverage the relativity principle and contrast against competitors? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we discuss the hidden forces that shape human behavior and global challenges with Kristian Rönn, a leading thinker in sustainability and evolutionary psychology. As the CEO and cofounder of Normative, Kristian revolutionized how businesses approach sustainability accounting, helping large enterprises achieve their net zero targets. With a rich background in mathematics, philosophy, computer science, and artificial intelligence, he is also the author of "The Darwinian Trap: The Hidden Evolutionary Forces That Explain Our World (and Threaten Our Future)", where he unpacks the evolutionary pitfalls that hinder long-term success and offers insights into how cooperation and high-value behaviors can lead to better decision-making and a brighter future for all. Join us for a thought-provoking conversation with Kristian Rönn as he uncovers the evolutionary forces that silently shape our world and the challenges we face in both personal and global contexts. How do these hidden forces drive human conflict and short-term thinking? What can we do to avoid the Darwinian traps that hinder long-term success? Kristian shares his deep insights into the psychological underpinnings of our behavior, the impact of competitive pressures on society, and the importance of fostering cooperation to create a better future. Discover actionable strategies to navigate these evolutionary pitfalls, enhance your decision-making, and become a more high-value, cooperative leader in your career and beyond. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:00 What sparked Kristian Rönn’s passion for understanding the evolutionary forces behind human behavior and global challenges? How did Kristian’s journey from Oxford’s Future of Humanity Institute to founding Normative shape his perspective on sustainability and global risks? What is the central thesis of Kristian’s book, The Darwinian Trap, and why is it crucial for our future? The Darwinian Trap: Evolutionary Forces in Action – 00:06:13 What is the Darwinian Trap, and how does it explain the short-term thinking and conflicts we see in society? How do evolutionary pressures influence everything from nation-state conflicts to personal career competition? What are the "Darwinian demons" we must be aware of, and how can they impact decision-making on both a personal and global level? The Hidden Costs of Short-Term Thinking – 00:24:26 How can short-term evolutionary strategies be both beneficial and harmful in different contexts? What are some real-world examples of how short-term thinking has led to long-term problems, and how can we avoid these pitfalls? Why is it easier to destroy than to build, and how does this concept relate to the challenges we face today? Navigating the Complexities of Modern Society – 00:36:20 How has globalization and the interdependence of nations both helped and hindered global cooperation? Why is decentralized power important in creating a more equitable and cooperative future? Building a Better Future: Cooperation and Governance – 00:45:27 How can we overcome the cooperation failures that drive global conflicts and environmental degradation? What role can reputational markets and decentralized governance play in solving these complex problems? What are the potential dangers of technological advancements, particularly in AI, and how can we manage these risks responsibly? What actionable steps can individuals take to contribute to a more collaborative and sustainable world? Concluding Thoughts and Optimism for the Future – 00:56:23 Despite the challenges, what gives Kristian optimism about the future of humanity and our ability to overcome the Darwinian Trap? How can meditation and introspection help individuals maintain a positive outlook in the face of global challenges? Where can listeners learn more about The Darwinian Trap and Kristian Rönn’s work on sustainability and global risks? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we explore the crucial mindset shift from doing the work to winning the work with Mo Bunnell, a renowned business growth expert and founder of the Bunnell Idea Group. With decades of experience helping organizations scale and thrive, Mo has dedicated his career to teaching professionals how to elevate their approach to relationship-building and business development. As the author of "The Snowball System: How to Win More Business and Turn Clients into Raving Fans" and host of the "Real Relationships, Real Revenue" podcast, Mo brings a wealth of knowledge on how small, consistent actions can lead to exponential growth in your career and business.  Join us for an engaging conversation with Mo Bunnell, where he reveals the secrets to shifting from simply doing the work to winning the work in your career. How can you overcome the internal obstacles that hold you back from building meaningful relationships and growing your business? What are the small, consistent habits that can lead to exponential success over time? Mo shares his expert strategies on developing a winning mindset, the art of giving to grow, and the critical shifts in communication that can help you move from being a good performer to a top performer. Discover actionable insights to elevate your career, deepen your professional relationships, and unlock new opportunities in both your business and personal life. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:00 What inspired Mo Bunnell to focus on the mindset shift from doing the work to winning the work? How has Mo’s extensive experience in business growth shaped his approach to relationship building and business development? What key principles from "Give to Grow" can help you elevate your career and business relationships? The Mindset Shift: Doing the Work vs. Winning the Work – 00:02:16 What is the crucial difference between doing the work and winning the work, and why is it essential for career growth? How can you start thinking 10x, not 1x, to overcome internal fears and embrace opportunities? What are the key habits that successful professionals use to transition from a delivery-focused mindset to a growth-oriented one? Overcoming the Lies That Hold You Back – 00:13:47 What are the five common lies we tell ourselves that hinder our success in relationship building? How can you identify and counteract these lies to maintain momentum in your career? Why is it important to act through discomfort and rejection to achieve long-term success? Integrating Relationship Development with Daily Work – 00:19:47 How can you seamlessly integrate relationship building into your daily tasks without feeling overwhelmed? What are practical examples of small, consistent actions that can lead to significant career growth? How can face-to-face interactions dramatically increase your chances of success in building relationships? The Power of Giving to Grow – 00:31:39 What does it mean to “give to grow,” and how can this mindset transform your professional relationships? How can you provide value even when you feel you have nothing to give? What are the four types of gifts you can offer to deepen relationships and create opportunities? Strategic Giving and Setting Boundaries – 00:43:38 How can you be a strategic giver without getting taken advantage of? What are the boundaries you need to set to ensure that your giving leads to mutual growth? How can asking for small commitments from others help you identify who’s worth investing in? Building Habits for Long-Term Success – 00:51:47 How can you create routines and habits that naturally lead to winning the work? What is the importance of maintaining a list of key opportunities and relationships, and how can this practice drive your success? How can focusing on three most important things (MITs) each week create unstoppable momentum in your career? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we dive into the art of productive discourse, the challenges posed by modern technology, and the 10 essential habits of a peacemaker with Steven T. Collis, a distinguished law professor and expert in First Amendment rights. As a scholar dedicated to understanding and navigating the complexities of free speech and religious liberty, Steven has spent years engaging in some of the most contentious topics of our time. His insightful perspectives have been shared across North America, where he educates audiences on the sophisticated tactics used by social media companies to keep us addicted and the importance of intellectual humility in today's polarized world. In this episode, we explore key insights from his upcoming book, "Habits of a Peacemaker," available this September. Join us for an insightful conversation with Steven T. Collis, where he discusses the challenges of modern communication and the critical role of peacemaking in today's polarized society. How can we break free from the habits that social media companies have engineered to keep us addicted and instead foster more productive and meaningful discourse? What are the essential habits that can help us navigate difficult conversations and bridge divides? Steven shares his expert insights on cultivating intellectual humility, the power of real learning, and the surprising ways humor can be a tool for connection. Discover practical strategies to become a more effective peacemaker, enhance your relationships, and contribute to a more respectful and understanding world both online and offline. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:00 What inspired Steven T. Collis to write "Habits of a Peacemaker" and why is peacemaking more important than ever? How does Steven’s background in First Amendment law influence his approach to productive discourse? What challenges do modern technologies, especially social media, pose to our ability to engage in meaningful conversations? The Art of Productive Discourse – 00:03:00 What habits can help you engage in more productive and respectful conversations? How can you overcome the addictive nature of social media to focus on real learning and intellectual humility? Why is it important to seek out differing viewpoints, and how can this practice improve your understanding of complex issues? Social Media's Impact on Communication – 00:10:45 How do social media platforms use psychological techniques from the gambling industry to keep users engaged? What are the dangers of echo chambers and how can they hinder productive discourse? What strategies can you use to protect yourself from the negative effects of social media on your communication habits? Developing Intellectual Humility – 00:16:14 What does it mean to have intellectual humility, and why is it crucial for productive dialogue? How can you reframe conversations to focus on learning rather than debating? Why is it important to recognize the limits of your knowledge, especially when discussing complex topics? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we explore the rise of cynicism, strategies to cultivate hope, and the crucial difference between skepticism and cynicism with Dr. Jamil Zaki, a distinguished professor of psychology at Stanford University and director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Laboratory. Dr. Zaki has spent nearly two decades studying how people connect with each other, how these connections benefit us, and how we can improve our ability to connect. His groundbreaking research has been featured in top-tier publications such as The New York Times, The Atlantic, and Scientific American. In this episode, we explore insights from his upcoming book, "Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness," available this September. Join us for an engaging conversation with Dr. Jamil Zaki, where he unpacks the rise of cynicism and offers practical strategies to foster hope and trust. How can you recognize and combat your own cynical tendencies in a world that often feels increasingly distrustful? What are the key differences between healthy skepticism and detrimental cynicism? Dr. Zaki shares his expert insights on cultivating a more positive outlook, drawing from his extensive research and groundbreaking work. Discover effective strategies to nurture hope, improve your relationships, and create a more trusting and cooperative environment both personally and professionally. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:00 How does Dr. Jamil Zaki's extensive background in psychology and social neuroscience inform his approach to combating cynicism? What personal experiences inspired Dr. Zaki to focus on the rise of cynicism in his research? How does Dr. Zaki define cynicism and its impact on both personal and professional relationships? Recognizing and Combating Personal Cynicism – 00:06:28 What are the key differences between healthy skepticism and harmful cynicism? What strategies can you use to cultivate a more hopeful and trusting mindset? The Contagion of Cynicism – 00:13:45 In what ways is cynicism contagious, and how does it spread through groups and organizations? How can you counteract the spread of cynicism within your own social and professional networks? How does organizational cynicism from leaders affect employees and company culture? What are the consequences of micromanagement and lack of trust in a work environment? Strategies to Foster Hope and Trust – 00:18:04 How can you build trust and positivity within your immediate team or social circle? Demographic Trends in Cynicism – 00:24:27 How can you identify your own cynical tendencies? What demographic groups are experiencing the highest rise in cynicism, and why? How do generational differences impact levels of trust and cynicism? What are the implications of increasing cynicism among younger generations for the future of society? What factors contribute to the increasing levels of cynicism in today's society? How have historical trends and recent events, such as the pandemic, influenced collective trust and cynicism? Cultivating Hope and Trust – 00:34:14 How does Dr. Zaki differentiate between hope and optimism? What are practical steps to foster hope and maintain a positive outlook? How can you support friends and family members who are struggling with cynicism? What is the concept of "trusting loudly," and how can it enhance your relationships? How can collecting more social data help you challenge and overcome negative assumptions about others? Final Thoughts and Resources – 00:45:34 Where can listeners learn more about Dr. Jamil Zaki's research and his new book, "Hope for Cynics"? What additional resources are available for those looking to improve their social and emotional health? How can listeners apply the insights from this episode to their own lives and relationships? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we explore the vital importance of social health, strategies to foster meaningful connections, and the transformative power of relationships with Kasley Killam, a renowned expert in social health and connection. Kasley has dedicated over a decade to advancing global well-being through her work with organizations like Google, the US Department of Health and Human Services, and the World Economic Forum. Her insights have been featured in prestigious publications such as The New York Times, Scientific American, and Psychology Today. In this episode, we uncover key takeaways from her book, "The Art and Science of Connection: Why Social Health is the Missing Key to Living Longer, Healthier, and Happier," available now. Join us for an insightful conversation with Kasley Killam, where she explores the essential components of social health and the art of building meaningful connections. How can you enhance your social well-being in a world increasingly driven by technology and individualism? What are the fundamental practices to nurture quality relationships that truly enrich your life? Kasley shares her expert strategies for assessing and improving your social health, drawing from her extensive research and impactful work. Discover the transformative 531 guideline for social connection and the steps to integrate diverse, fulfilling relationships into your daily life. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00:27 How does Kasley Killam's extensive background in social health and public health shape her approach to building meaningful connections? What inspired Kasley to focus on social health and connection in her career? How does Kasley define the concept of social health and its significance in today’s society? How Can You Understand and Improve Your Social Health? – 00:02:15 Why does Kasley believe that social health is as important as physical and mental health? How can you accurately assess your own social health? What are the three core characteristics of being socially healthy? How Does Technology Impact Your Social Health? – 00:10:28 How does technology influence our social health, both positively and negatively? What are the pitfalls of relying too much on technology for social connections? How can you use technology thoughtfully to enhance your social health? What is the 531 Guideline and How Can It Transform Your Life? – 00:19:22 What is the 531 guideline and how can it help improve your social health? How can you implement the 531 guideline in your daily life? What are some practical examples of connecting with five different people each week? How do you bring connection back into your life if you feel isolated? What are the signs that the relationships you are in are not mutually beneficial and holding you back? Why Should You Cultivate Diverse Relationships? – 00:36:18 Why is it important to have a diverse social portfolio? How do connections with people from different backgrounds and cultures benefit your social health? What steps can you take to build and maintain diverse relationships? How Can You Prioritize Connection in a Busy Life? – 00:41:14 What small steps can you take to weave connection into your busy schedule? How can you be present and prioritize quality over quantity in your interactions? Why is it essential to balance alone time and social time, especially for introverts? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we explore the art of conflict resolution, negotiation strategies, and transforming challenging relationships with Dr. William Ury, a distinguished expert in the field of negotiation and conflict mediation. Dr. Ury is the co-founder of Harvard's Program on Negotiation and has nearly 50 years of experience in resolving some of the world's toughest conflicts. His seminal works include the bestsellers "Getting to Yes" and "Getting Past No," which have sold over 5 million copies worldwide. In this episode, we explore insights from his latest book, "Possible: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict," available now. Join us for an enlightening discussion with Dr. William Ury, where he unravels the nuances of conflict resolution and high-stakes negotiation. How can you turn a seemingly insurmountable conflict into a collaborative opportunity? What are the key techniques to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for tough negotiations? Dr. Ury shares his top strategies for avoiding common negotiation pitfalls and engaging constructively, drawing from his vast experience and groundbreaking work. Discover how to build a "golden bridge" in negotiations and the essential steps to transforming difficult relationships into productive partnerships. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00 How does Dr. William Ury's extensive background in negotiation and anthropology shape his approach to conflict resolution? What drew Dr. Ury to the field of negotiation and conflict mediation early in his career? How does Dr. Ury define the concept of a "possibilist" and its significance in today's world? Understanding Conflict – 05:02 Why does Dr. Ury believe that more conflict is necessary for growth and change? How does he differentiate between destructive and constructive conflict? What is the importance of "going to the balcony" in managing conflict effectively? The Power of Pausing – 13:04 What role does pausing play in reducing emotional reactivity during negotiations? How can the simple act of pausing transform a negotiation's outcome? What is the magic question you can use to find the best compromise in a negotiation? Building the Golden Bridge – 25:15 What is the "golden bridge" strategy and how can it facilitate successful negotiations? How does listening actively help in building a golden bridge for the other side? Why is it crucial to understand your own objectives and the underlying interests behind them? How can you prepare effectively for a negotiation by considering the other side’s perspective? What You Must Avoid in Negotiations – 30:14 What are the three common pitfalls in negotiation and how can you avoid them? What steps can you take to create a collaborative atmosphere in negotiations? Leveraging Curiosity and Creativity – 33:21 How does curiosity drive creativity in finding solutions during negotiations? What are some effective "what if" questions to ask that open up new possibilities? How can separating evaluation from creation enhance the brainstorming process in negotiations? Transforming Relationships through Conflict – 39:31 How does engaging in conflict with curiosity and respect transform relationships? Why is focusing on long-term relationship building more beneficial than seeking short-term wins? How can understanding and articulating mutual interests lead to successful conflict resolution? The Victory Speech Exercise – 52:23 What is the "victory speech" exercise and how can it shift the negotiation dynamic? How did Dr. Ury use this exercise to help de-escalate tensions between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un? Why is envisioning the other side’s victory speech a powerful tool in negotiation? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we dive into the intricacies of workplace dynamics, career satisfaction, and professional growth with Tessa West, a leading expert in the science of interpersonal communication. Tessa is a professor of psychology at New York University and one of the world's top researchers on social perception. Her acclaimed work includes the books "Jerks at Work: Toxic Coworkers and What to Do About Them" and her latest release, "Job Therapy: Finding Work That Works for You" available July 23, 2024.  Join us for an insightful conversation with Tessa West, where she unpacks the complexities of workplace dynamics and career satisfaction. How can you turn a difficult coworker into an ally? What are the exact questions to ask when networking to ensure you land the best job offers? Tessa shares her top strategies for identifying the top 5 career frustrations and navigating them effectively, drawing from her extensive research and personal experiences. Discover how to leverage your network in salary negotiations and the critical steps to finding work that truly fulfills you. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How does Tessa West's background in social perception and psychology inform her insights on workplace dynamics? What are the psychological tensions people experience at work that Tessa identifies in her book? How can fear of uncertainty and status loss impact career decisions? The Five Key Drivers of Career Frustration – [00:11:59] What are the top sources of career frustration that Tessa outlines in "Job Therapy"? How can understanding these drivers help in navigating career satisfaction? Balancing Fulfillment and Compensation – [00:17:14] What are the common trade-offs between career fulfillment and financial security? How does being embedded at work complicate career changes and personal fulfillment? How can strong team cohesion negatively impact individual recognition and promotion prospects? Strategic Networking for Career Growth – [00:26:45] What specific questions should you ask when networking to explore career fit? How can you create a coherent and compelling narrative of your career journey? What are the risks of taking on non-promotion-relevant roles in search of fulfillment? Articulating Your Contribution to Company Outcomes – [00:38:02] Why is it crucial to understand and articulate how your work contributes to broader company goals? How can you effectively communicate your role in achieving company outcomes? What is the importance of having a broad network beyond your immediate workplace? How can networking outside your organization enhance your career prospects? Asking Tough Questions During Networking – [00:45:15] Why should you ask tough questions about status and promotion prospects when networking? How can feedback from former colleagues provide insights into your career advancement? Effective Networking Strategies – [00:51:27] What practical advice does Tessa give for effective networking? How can you approach potential contacts and ask the right questions to build meaningful connections? Insightful Questions During Job Interviews – [00:56:07] Why insightful questions should you ask during a job interview? What specific questions can help you ensure a good fit with a potential employer? How can embracing awkwardness and having tough conversations lead to finding fulfilling work? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we explore the complex intersections of military service, intelligence work, and mental health with Dave Fielding, a decorated US Army Green Beret turned intelligence officer and mental health advocate. David's distinguished career includes service in high-stakes operations such as Operation Inherent Resolve and Operation Enduring Freedom, earning him a Bronze Star. As the author of Into the Darkness: A Journey of Love, War, and Emotional Freedom, David brings a unique perspective on emotional intelligence, the struggles of returning to civilian life, and the silent battles faced by veterans.  Join us for an enlightening conversation with Dave Fielding, where he unveils powerful strategies for navigating the challenges of military life and transitioning to civilian life. How can emotional intelligence transform your relationships and leadership skills? What are the secrets to building rapid rapport across diverse cultures? David shares his personal battle with suicidal thoughts and how he overcame them, offering invaluable insights for those struggling with similar issues. Discover the significance of understanding motivations and learn practical advice that can help you foster stronger connections. Don't miss this episode, filled with heartfelt stories and actionable tips. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How does David Fielding's unique background shape his perspective on emotional intelligence and mental health? What pivotal moments in David's career as a Green Beret and intelligence officer define his journey? The Green Beret Secret to Building Rapid Rapport – 12:40 How can understanding motivations help you build instant connections with others? What techniques does David use to create deep connections across diverse cultures? How to Overcome Your Darkest Struggles – 17:40 Why did Dave go from Special Forces to mental health advocacy and what was that shift like? What strategies did David employ to overcome his suicidal thoughts? How can others facing similar struggles find their way out of the darkness? How to Reframe Challenges into Life Changing Opportunities – 33:13 How can reframing your perspective help you tackle seemingly insurmountable challenges? What practical steps can you take to reframe and find meaning in difficult situations? The Power of Understanding Motivations – 43:16 How can understanding the motivations of others improve your leadership and relationships? David discusses the significance of asking “why” in conversations. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we delve into the fascinating world of behavior design with BJ Fogg, a renowned behavior scientist and founder of the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford University. BJ’s pioneering work focuses on understanding and influencing human behavior through innovative models and methods. His groundbreaking research, including the widely acclaimed Fogg Behavior Model and the Tiny Habits method, has been featured in prominent publications such as The New York Times and Forbes. BJ shares his insights on how tiny changes can lead to significant transformations, debunks common myths about habit formation, and offers practical strategies for creating lasting positive behaviors. Join us for an insightful conversation with BJ Fogg, where he reveals the secrets to designing behaviors that lead to lasting change. Discover how tiny habits can transform your life, why common myths about habit formation are misleading, and how to create positive habits effortlessly. Plus, explore the importance of celebration and positive emotions in reinforcing new behaviors. Don't miss this episode packed with practical tips and strategies to help you build habits that stick and achieve your goals! What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the most common myths about habit formation and why they are misleading? What are tiny habits and how can they lead to significant changes? Practical examples of tiny habits you can implement in your daily life. How can you leverage your emotions to rapidly create great habits – 10:57 Why are positive emotions crucial for habit formation? The concept of celebration and how it accelerates habit development. Practical Application of Tiny Habits – 16:01 How do you design tiny habits into your existing routines? Real-life examples of how tiny habits can transform your behavior. The Secret to Breaking Bad Habits – 32:30 Strategies for untangling bad habits and creating lasting change. The three phases of the Behavior Change Master Plan. Technology and Behavior Change – 43:01 How does technology positively and negatively impact your habits? Practical tips for managing screen time and fostering positive behaviors. Tiny Habits for Kids – 49:20 How parents can use tiny habits to instill good behaviors in children. The importance of creating an environment that celebrates and reinforces positive change. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we explore high-value dating with Liesel Sharabi, an associate professor and Director of the Relationships and Technology Lab at Arizona State University. Liesel’s research delves into the impact of communication technologies on romantic relationships, particularly through online dating and mobile apps. Her work, featured in top journals and media outlets like The Wall Street Journal and NPR, examines how AI and virtual reality are reshaping modern romance. Liesel shares her expertise on creating authentic online profiles, managing choice overload, setting realistic expectations, and using AI to find meaningful connections. Join us for an insightful conversation with Liesel Sharabi, where she reveals the secrets to creating an authentic online dating profile that ignites meaningful connections. Discover how to navigate the overwhelming choices on dating apps to make better decisions, manage your expectations, and find serious relationships in the digital world. Plus, explore the game-changing role of AI in modern dating. Don't miss this episode packed with tips and strategies to enhance your online dating experience! What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who is Liesel Sharabi, and how did she get involved in the world of dating at an academic level? How did online dating change the way we perceive dating and what we look for in potential partners? The Hidden Impact of Dating Apps on Long Term Relationships – 13:51 How are dating apps hurting your ability to connect on a deeper level with potential partners? What mindset should you adopt if you actually want to find a partner on dating apps and not get stuck in an endless loop of matches that don’t go anywhere? Is more technology really the solution to the dating hellscape – 23:45 What are companies in the dating “industry” doing to solve the problems many people are encountering around loneliness and how are those “solutions” making things worse? Should you use AI to improve your results on dating apps? Are people still meeting other people in real life? – 31:14 What is easier about starting relationships with people you meet in real life and what is harder about starting relationships with people you meet online? How have dating apps changed cultural norms and expectations for each gender? The effects of dating apps on marriage/divorce rates – 41:39 How have dating apps changed the landscape of marriage and long term commitment? What does the future of dating and dating apps look like, and how can you prepare for it? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we help you avoid low value behaviors and master high value ones with AJ and Johnny. In this episode of The Art of Charm, AJ and Johnny delve into the dynamics of high and low value behaviors and their impact on your personal and professional relationships. Ever wondered how to take control of your social interactions and ensure they lead to meaningful connections? AJ and Johnny explore the crucial distinctions between high value and low value behaviors, offering practical insights on how to elevate your social value. Learn how to harness the power of responsibility and cooperation, and discover why honesty and generosity are pivotal in forming strong, lasting relationships. How can you balance being cooperative without being taken advantage of? What steps can you take to become a high value individual in every aspect of your life? Tune in to uncover actionable strategies backed by science and real-life experiences to transform your interactions and boost your value. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do you identify patterns of high and low value behaviors in yourself and others, and what can you do to change those behaviors in yourself? What specific behaviors lead to long-term success and positive relationships? The 3 low value behaviors you must avoid – 5:36 How to navigate social interactions by giving value and avoiding common pitfalls. What behaviors consistently build strong relationships? The role of attention in building value – 10:14 What is the most powerful (and easiest) form of value you can give when talking to someone? What two behaviors transform your social interactions? Most people miss the connection between value and responsibility – 18:30 Why do high value people seek out more responsibility than everyone else? How do low value people avoid responsibility to shift blame when things go wrong? This one thing is crucial if you want to be high value – 23:52 How does honesty build trust and strengthen relationships? What are the detrimental effects of lying and manipulation on your value and relationships? The long-term benefits of giving value – 28:15 Real-life examples of how giving value without expecting immediate returns can lead to significant long-term benefits. How do you build a supportive social circle that pushes you to succeed and helps you out when you’re going through tough times? Practical Tips for Giving Value – 40:58 Simple and practical ways to give value in everyday interactions. Examples of how giving value can lead to unexpected rewards and strengthen relationships. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we help you identify and avoid low value behaviors with AJ and Johnny. In this episode of The Art of Charm, AJ and Johnny dive deep into the psychology of value and behavior. Have you ever wondered if your actions unknowingly sabotage your social interactions? What behaviors might be holding you back from forming meaningful connections? AJ and Johnny explore how to identify and eliminate low value behaviors that keep you from connecting with others. Discover the three critical elements of value—attention, approval, and acceptance—and learn how to nurture high value behaviors that attract positive relationships. What does the science say about the benefits of being a high value individual? How can you balance being generous without being taken advantage of? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why is understanding value important in forming meaningful connections? What will you learn about identifying and eliminating low value behaviors? What are low value behaviors you need to avoid? – 02:08 What are supplicative behaviors, and how do they manifest in social interactions? How does the victim mentality negatively impact your value? Why is it important to avoid combative behaviors, and how can they harm your relationships? The dangers of social media most people ignore – 14:06 How does social media manipulate our need for attention, approval, and acceptance? What are the dangers of seeking validation through social media? Most people fail to escape this mindset that cripples them – 24:48 Why is a competitive mindset still considered low value? How does the scarcity mindset fuel unhealthy competition? What are the pitfalls of constantly comparing yourself to others? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we dive into the dynamic world of sports and leadership with Craig Robinson. Craig is a distinguished college basketball coach, basketball executive, and podcaster. A former standout player at Princeton, he was twice named Ivy League Player of the Year. Transitioning from a successful finance career, Craig pursued his passion for coaching, leading teams at Boston University and Oregon State University. He has held executive roles with the New York Knicks and Milwaukee Bucks and is now the Executive Director of the National Association of Basketball Coaches. Craig co-hosts the podcast "Ways to Win" with John Calipari, sharing life lessons and strategies from his extensive on-court experience, making his insights valuable beyond the basketball world. Craig Robinson shares his insights on the evolving landscape of leadership and coaching. How has the role of empathy and communication transformed modern coaching? What strategies can you use to build momentum in both your personal and professional life? Craig also delves into his courageous transition from a successful finance career to pursuing his passion for coaching—what challenges did he face, and what rewards did he reap? Additionally, discover practical advice on how to identify and nurture young leaders, manage setbacks effectively, and leverage likability to foster team cohesion. Join us as we uncover these answers and more with Craig Robinson, a leader whose experience spans from the basketball court to the executive office.  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who is Craig Robinson, and how has his diverse career from finance to coaching shaped his approach to leadership? What are the key differences between the authoritarian coaching styles of the past and the empathetic approaches of today? What motivated Craig to transition from a successful finance career to coaching basketball? Empathy and Communication in Leadership – 19:27 Why is empathy crucial for modern leaders and coaches? How can understanding and meeting people where they are enhance your effectiveness as a leader? Insights from "Ways to Win" Podcast – 25:38 Key takeaways from Craig’s podcast, including building personal relationships with team members and creating a culture of accountability. Lessons from prominent guests like Dave Roberts and Dawn Staley on leadership and team dynamics. Identifying and Nurturing Young Leaders – 30:29 What attributes and talents should you look for when identifying potential young leaders? Strategies for nurturing and developing leadership skills in young individuals. Managing Setbacks and Defeat – 34:17 How can you quickly recover from setbacks and losses in both sports and professional environments? Practical advice on managing the psychological impact of defeat and maintaining a forward-looking mindset. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we dive into the world of human connection with David Robson. David is an award-winning writer specializing in the psychology and neuroscience of human relationships. With a rich background in scientific journalism and a degree in mathematics from the University of Cambridge, David has dedicated his career to exploring the intricate ways we bond and interact with each other. His work has been widely recognized and featured in top-tier publications such as The Guardian, The Atlantic, and BBC Future. David is also the author of The Laws of Connection, a profound exploration into the science behind how we form lasting connections. In today’s episode, David Robson reveals the secrets to building stronger social connections through the latest psychological research. He explains the profound impact of social ties on our physical health, the importance of overcoming the "liking gap," and how to effectively use follow-up questions to create shared realities. David also shares strategies for rebuilding our social skills post-pandemic, the power of expressing appreciation, and how the Benjamin Franklin effect can strengthen our relationships.  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who is David Robson, and how can his insights on human connection and psychology transform your personal and professional relationships? How do social connections affect your health, and what diseases can they help protect against? Why is it important to recognize and manage ambivalent relationships effectively? What barriers prevent you from connecting with others – 10:40 What is the "liking gap," and how does it prevent you from forming deeper connections? How can you recalibrate your perceptions to overcome these psychological barriers? What questions can you ask to rapidly build deep connections? – 24:24 What types of questions are most effective for building deeper connections? How can you move past small talk quickly to create meaningful conversations? What overlooked expression can drastically improve your relationship with anyone at work and in your personal life? How can you rebuild your social skills post-pandemic? – 47:51 How has the pandemic affected our social skills, and what strategies can help you rebuild them? Why is practicing daily interactions with strangers crucial for maintaining social confidence? What is the Benjamin Franklin Effect and how can it strengthen relationships? – 51:30 What is the Benjamin Franklin effect, and how can asking for small favors strengthen your relationships? How can you apply this effect in your daily life to enhance your social bonds? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle the art of building deep connections with Topaz Adizes. Topaz is an Emmy award-winning director, writer, and experienced design architect. With a background in philosophy from UC Berkeley and Oxford University, Topaz has made significant contributions to the fields of intimacy and human connection through his groundbreaking project, The And. His work has been showcased at prestigious festivals such as Cannes and Sundance, and featured in top publications like The New Yorker and The New York Times. Topaz is also the author of 12 Questions for Love: A Guide to Intimate Conversations and Deeper Relationships. In today’s episode, Topaz Adizes shares why questions are so powerful for creating deep bonds, how to create space for intimate conversations in our lives, when to bring logic in to deepen a relationship conversation, and the secret to developing emotional articulation with your partner. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who is Topaz Adizes, and how can his insights on communication and relationships transform your career and personal life? How can asking the right questions unlock deeper connections and enhance your leadership skills? What’s the secret to creating a space where your team or partner feels safe to be vulnerable and authentic? Surprising revelations from over 1200 intimate conversations – 11:00 What surprising revelations did Topaz uncover from over 1200 intimate conversations, and how can they apply to your high-stakes professional environment? Practical tips for emotional articulation – 20:15 How can mastering emotional articulation make you a more effective leader and improve your team’s performance? What are the 12 questions that can revolutionize your personal and professional relationships, and how should you use them? Real-life applications that will change your life – 32:29 How have others used Topaz’s methods to transform their relationships and careers, and what can you learn from their experiences? How can you create intentional spaces for deep conversations that foster trust and innovation within your team? Lessons on communication that no one tells us – 45:11 What techniques can you use to enhance your communication skills and build stronger connections with your team and loved ones? How do different cultures approach intimate conversations, and what can you learn from their methods to improve your own interactions? Why is it crucial to ask better questions in your professional and personal life, and how can this practice accelerate your career growth? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle making friends as an adult with AJ, Johnny, and coach Michael Herold.  Delve into the complexities of making and maintaining friendships as an adult. Why do many adults struggle with loneliness and how can propinquity—or the strategic use of proximity—open doors to new and lasting connections? Whether you're a seasoned professional or a social novice, this episode offers actionable strategies to enhance your social life and deepen your relationships. Tune in to discover how you can turn social opportunities into a thriving network of genuine connections, and learn why mastering the Art of Charm is more essential today than ever before. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How can understanding propinquity transform your approach to forming social connections? What alarming trends about loneliness were revealed in recent global surveys? How do you start building new relationships and make new friends? – 11:24 How does remote work affect team cohesion and personal relationships at work? What scientific principles can help in forming deep and lasting friendships? Many underestimate the value of this when it comes to making friends – 24:38 How can re-engaging with old hobbies or exploring new passions rejuvenate your social life? What practical steps can you take to weave social opportunities into your everyday activities? What are you doing to push new people away from being your friend? – 34:06 How can recognizing and reducing friction in social interactions facilitate the formation of friendships? What practical steps can you take to lessen the burden on potential friends and make it easier for them to engage with you? How do develop a plan for a vibrant social life – 28:32 What are the benefits of having a structured plan for social interactions? How does consistency in social activities lead to stronger and more meaningful relationships? What practical steps can you take to lessen the burden on potential friends and make it easier for them to engage with you? Introducing the Social Sales Funnel Concept – 44:55 What is the Social Sales Funnel, and how can it help you build a thriving social network? How can hosting a monthly event streamline the process of turning acquaintances into friends? What strategies can ensure the success of such gatherings, encouraging new connections to flourish? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle death with Jodi Wellman. Jodi is a former executive turned executive coach. She has a Master of Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, where she's an instructor in the master's program and a trainer in the world renowned Penn Resilience Program. And she is the author of You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets.  Jodi Wellman reveals essential strategies for transforming your professional stagnation into dynamic success and underscores the importance of quantifying your remaining Monday mornings to infuse purpose into your career, eliminating regrets before they hinder your progress. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How can thinking about death enhance your career and life ambitions? Why should you calculate how many Mondays you have left? Focus on this to improve your performance and happiness at work – 10:15 Gain insights on the value of time and how precise awareness of it can enhance your decision-making and prioritization at the managerial or C-suite level Most people are held back from success by their ‘dead zones’ – 18:10 What are 'dead zones' and how can identifying them transform your professional growth and personal fulfillment? How can facing the reality of mortality inspire urgent career and personal development? How does the pandemic influence our perception of time and opportunities for growth? – 26:17 Understand the psychological impacts of COVID-19 on our ambitions and social interactions, with tips for re-engaging with life and work post-pandemic. How do you bake your own 'happiness pie' and take charge of your life satisfaction? – 31:19 How do you start moving from 'dead zones' to 'astonishingly alive zones'? How can the concept of fighting for your life goals redefine your approach to career and personal ambitions? – 42:39 What is the importance of self-compassion and forgiveness in pursuing a life without regrets? Episode Sponsors: Indeed Kajabi Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle mind magic and manifestation with Dr. James Doty. James is an inventor, an entrepreneur, and philanthropist. He is a clinical professor of neurosurgery at Stanford University and the founder and director of Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education with the Dalai Lama himself as the founding benefactor. His new book is titled Mind Magic: The Neuroscience of Manifestation and How It Changes Everything.  We break down the systems in the brain responsible for shaping your beliefs and actions, how you can harness the power of your subconscious mind to reach your goals faster, why you need to visualize your success in detail to make it a reality, And James shares his own experiences with the magic of our mind. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is mind magic and what does science say about the legitimacy of manifestation? This is where most people go wrong trying to manifest their desires – 10:15 Where do most of us go wrong with manifestation versus what should we be focusing on with our manifestation to actually be whole, to be living a rich and fulfilling life? How can we use our neural networks to increase the chances of manifesting what we want? The secret to focusing in a world of neverending distractions – 24:17 How are self-compassion, focus, and manifestation linked together? How should you define success if you are trying to manifest success for yourself or others? What should you focus on if you want to manifest what you want – 34:21 What is the most important aspect of life you need to focus on if you want physical and mental health and a long life? How does commitment to action transform intentions into reality? – 39:06 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle the world of high stakes hostage negotiation in a divided world with Scott Walker. Scott is one of the world’s most experienced kidnapped-for-ransom negotiators. He served 16 years as a Scotland Yard detective specializing in covert policing, then supported organizations, governments, and private individuals in negotiating the release of hostages all over the world, and is the author of his the latest book, Order Out of Chaos: A Kidnap Negotiator's Guide to Influence and Persuasion. You’re going to learn how to prepare for high stakes situations like a hostage negotiator. We discuss how to quickly build rapport with people that you do not share common interests with, what to listen for in negotiations to create a winning outcome, how to develop your emotional intelligence to be successful under stress, and the secrets hostage negotiators use to bring back hostages safely. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How frequently do people get kidnapped and held for ransom? What are the biggest challenges that hostage negotiators face? The first 30 seconds of a hostage situation are crucial for this reason – 15:53 What secret do hostage negotiators use to rapidly build trust with anyone? What 30 second practice do hostage negotiators use to prepare themselves for every high stakes situation? What consequences do kidnappers actually face? – 24:25 How do you cultivate the right mindset to be a master negotiator? What can you do to predict the biggest hurdles you’ll need to overcome in any negotiation? What are the 3 elements to every negotiation and how can you use them in your everyday life to build strong relationships? Most people mistakenly think this is when the negotiation ends – 39:34 How should you think about negotiations on a short- and long-term basis to make sure you don’t hurt your reputation or future potential opportunities? Hostage negotiators have to care about the kidnappers – 48:36 How do hostage negotiators raise their self awareness before entering high stakes situations? How do you master your emotions like a hostage negotiator by simply asking yourself specific questions? What are the biggest takeaways from Order Out of Chaos: A Kidnap Negotiator's Guide to Influence and Persuasion? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle building relationships in a divided world with Dr. Kurt Gray. Kurt is an award-winning researcher and moral psychologist with deep insights into human behavior and polarization. As a professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, he directs the Deepest Beliefs Lab and the Center for the Science of Moral Understanding. He is also the author of The Mind Club: Who Thinks, What Feels, and Why It Matters, exploring the intricacies of how we perceive and judge others in society.  Have you ever considered how rising polarization affects our ability to forge strong, meaningful relationships? What if bridging the vast divide between differing viewpoints could be achieved by examining our moral compass and the inherent blind spots it creates? Dive into a compelling discussion with Dr. Kurt Gray, who sheds light on the subtle yet profound ways morality shapes our perceptions of others. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are Dr. Gray's strategies for strengthening relationships across ideological divides? How do our default settings of fear and the search for allies affect our political and social views? This is why most people can’t engage in tough conversations – 14:09 Why is it challenging to discuss politics and morality today?  What are the key strategies for overcoming polarization and enhancing communication in today's divided world? The secret to bridging political polarization – 24:38 Why is validating someone's views crucial in conversations, and how can it be done without agreeing? Why are personal stories more powerful than facts in changing perspectives? The evolving nature of political identities – 36:17 How have our political identities evolved over time, and what does that mean for our current views? How significant is the overlap of values shared between different political parties, and why is it often overlooked? What misconceptions do we hold about political polarization, and how can understanding the past help us better navigate the present? The predator vs prey narrative in politics – 47:17 How does viewing political opponents as predators or prey affect our ability to engage in meaningful conversations? What are the 3 steps to connecting with people who you disagree with? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle the Ask Approach with Jeff Wetzler. Jeff is a world expert in learning and human potential, has more than 25 years' experience in business and education as a management consultant at the world's top organizations, and is the author of his latest book, Ask: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs In Leadership and Life.  Have you ever pondered why analytical thinkers often find themselves at a crossroads in communication and networking? What if the key to unlocking exceptional leadership and life-changing relationships lies in the questions we ask? How can shifting our approach from problem-solving to curiosity-driven conversations revolutionize our connections? Dive deep with us as we explore the Ask Approach, a transformative framework designed to bridge the gap between analytical prowess and emotional intelligence. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who is Jeff Wetzler, and how can his "Ask Approach" transform your leadership skills and life? What holds people back from sharing vital information, and how does it affect decision-making? The secret to strengthening your curiosity muscle – 10:52 Why is curiosity essential for building stronger personal and professional relationships? How can curiosity unlock problem-solving and collaboration in the workplace? Make people feel safe enough to tell you anything – 17:41 What can you do if you want to make people feel safe and comfortable telling you information they normally would not? How to start on the right foot in a new management position – 24:29 What questions can you ask to make sure your team feels safe following your leadership and comfortable enough to help you understand where the weaknesses are in the organization?  Is it possible to ask too many questions – 34:14 What types of questions foster deeper understanding? How can you listen more effectively? How can reflecting and reconnecting based on conversations enhance your communication skills? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle attachment with Nicholas Epley. Nick is an expert on human behavior and decision making, a professor of behavioral science and faculty director for decision research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, the author of the highly acclaimed book Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want.  Ever wonder why some people excel in social situations while others struggle? How can understanding the biases that lead us to believe we're effective mind readers of friends and strangers alike transform our interactions? And what simple strategies can we employ to build real connections quickly? Join us as Nick Epley sheds light on these intriguing questions, offering insights from his acclaimed book "Mindwise" and revealing the secret to truly understanding what others think, believe, feel, and want. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the biggest problem that stops us from being able to better understand and predict what other people think? How well do we really know what others think and feel? Dispelling the biggest myth about our brains – 13:36 Why does the biggest myth about how we use our brains continue to persist and why is it wrong? How does perspective drastically change one person’s understanding of a situation and what can you do to alleviate the inevitable friction that difference in perspective causes? The biggest hurdles most people struggle with when reading minds – 18:55 What are the dangers of typing vs. talking in our ability to convey sarcasm and understand each other? How does our prediction of future behaviors or reactions in extreme situations often mislead us? When are stereotypes useful and when are they harmful? Dispelling the biggest myth about political polarization – 35:47 Is the country actually becoming more polarized politically or is something else going on that makes us think we’re becoming more polarized? The importance of direct communication most people miss – 41:59 What is the best way to make any interaction with a stranger into a positive one that can lead to friendship or romance?  Most people won’t do this to create deeper relationships in their lives – 58:40 What do most people avoid doing even though it’s the best way to create the deep relationships they want in their lives? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we dive deep into rewriting your life story with AJ, Johnny, and Michael Herold.  How do you rewrite your personal narrative to align with your core values and set meaningful goals for your future? Can understanding and rewriting your story spark real change in your life? This episode of The Art of Charm delves into these critical questions, offering you a unique opportunity to explore the power of storytelling in personal development. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do our brains use stories to predict the future, and why is this relevant to you? How can acknowledging both positive and negative stories shape your future? The Biggest Myth About Rewriting Your Story – 10:36 Why doesn't changing your past narrative work, and what should you do instead? Why isn't revising your past the key to a brighter future? The Most Important Step to Take When Rewriting Your Story – 23:24 Why is your next action step more important than your past narrative? Values vs. Goals: How do they work together to attract success into your life? Recognizing and Acting on Choice Points – 31:00 What are action points, and how can they be game-changers in your life? How to deal with resistance from others as you start to change your narrative? The Critical Role of Self-Compassion in Rewriting Your Story – 37:25 Why is self-compassion important in rewriting your story, and how can you cultivate an empowering level of self-compassion? How can embracing your new narrative and taking action today transform your life? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we dive deep into the essence of leadership and personal transformation with a stellar lineup of guests. Brad Lomenick brings his expertise on impactful leadership and personal growth, drawing from his experience as a consultant and author of influential books including H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle. We hear from Brett Crozier, whose distinguished career in the US Navy offers invaluable lessons on resilience and integrity. Dan Luna, with his rich background as a Navy SEAL and leadership coach, shares insights on developing leadership skills under pressure. John Mackey, the visionary behind Whole Foods Market, discusses the principles of conscious capitalism and leadership that have guided his successful career. Leadership expert Patrick Lencioni provides practical advice on building effective teams and organizations, while Jake Wood, co-founder of Team Rubicon, talks about the power of vulnerability and integrity in leadership.  How can you bust leadership myths and embrace humility, hunger, and hustle to drive success? What are the key traits all leaders need, and how can embracing vulnerability and integrity transform your leadership style? This episode of The Art of Charm answers these questions and more, providing you with the tools and insights needed to become a stronger, more conscious leader. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are common misconceptions about leadership roles and titles? Why is self-leadership crucial in today's career landscape? Most people don’t understand this about group dynamics and leadership frames – 10:10 How does the concept of "herd mentality" apply to leadership and fitting into social environments? Why is focusing on your team or people fundamental to leadership success? How do you master leadership skills in your everyday life? – 19:00 Why is practice crucial in developing leadership skills? What makes conscious leadership different from conventional leadership? How effective leaders deal with criticism and their inner critic – 29:44 What can you do to not feel anonymous in your organization and not be that cog? How can leaders effectively show vulnerability to their team? What are the three things employees need to avoid feeling miserable at work? Leading with integrity and handling no’s – 39:05 What is the importance of facing rejection and criticism for a leader? How can leaders remain steadfast and true to their values in the face of adversity? Traits that make leaders effective – 47:48 How do humility and vulnerability contribute to leadership effectiveness? How should leaders approach crisis situations to maintain team confidence and trust? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle attachment with Dr. Judy Ho. Dr. Ho is a clinical neuropsychologist and a tenured professor and researcher at Pepperdine University, works as a forensic expert and media consultant, and last time she joined us to talk about her book, Stop Self-Sabotage, and today, she's back to talk about her latest book, The New Rules of Attachment: How to Heal Your Relationships, Reparent Your Inner Child, and Secure Your Life Vision. Everyone knows how attachment styles influence romantic relationships, but how do they hold you back in your career, why do you need to understand your attachment style to build healthy relationships, and what can you do to change your attachment style and raise children with secure attachment styles? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is attachment theory and what are the 4 attachment styles? How do parenting styles produce different attachment styles in their children?  How to avoid raising insecure children – 13:14 What do you need to avoid to raise children to have a secure attachment style?  If you have an insecure attachment style, what can you do to change it to a secure attachment style? How do you change your attachment style – 20:13 What can you do to break the pattern of avoidant attachment and develop a secure attachment style? What are the strengths and weaknesses of the avoidant attachment style? How do I connect with an avoidant attachment style? The secret to living with an insecure attachment style – 33:14 What simple 10 second exercise can you do to accept your attachment style while you’re working to change it so it doesn’t sabotage your relationships? How to deal with your partner’s attachment style – 40:23 What can you do if you’re putting in a lot of work to understand your attachment style and your partner’s, but your partner isn’t interested in doing the same work? What are you supposed to do when a family member’s attachment style creates conflict with yours?  Breaking free of your avoidant attachment style in your career – 49:33 How does your avoidant attachment style sabotage your career and your ability to advance? Should everyone be striving to have a secure attachment style? A Word From Our Sponsors Bombas crafts ridiculously comfortable socks, tees, and underwear, and for every item sold, they donate one to help those facing homelessness — over 100 million essentials donated so far. Not only are their clothes designed for ultimate comfort with features like arch support and buttery-soft fabric, but they also ensure customer satisfaction with a 100% Happiness Guarantee for hassle-free returns and exchanges. Ready to get comfy and give back? Head over to Bombas.com/CHARM and use code CHARM for twenty percent off your first purchase! $75 SPONSORED JOB CREDIT to upgrade your job post at Indeed.com/CHARM. Offer good for a limited time. Ready to start your ecommerce business? Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/charm. Grow your business–no matter what stage you’re in. Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you?  That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone?  Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle slow productivity with Cal Newport. Cal is a leading productivity expert and the author of several best selling books, including a A World Without Email: Reimagining Work in an Age of Communication Overload, Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World, Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World, and So Good They Can't Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love. His newest book is titled Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout. What if slowing down was actually the secret to achieving more? In this episode, we dive into the intriguing world of slow productivity: Can embracing a slower pace truly catapult your career success? What are the three foundational principles of slow productivity, and how can you apply them to revolutionize your work ethic? Moreover, why is transforming your relationship with productivity essential for not just professional achievement, but for crafting a fulfilling life? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is pseudo productivity and how does being pseudo productive at work damage your relationships and personal life? What’s wrong with how we think about transparency at work and what is the best level of transparency to maximize team productivity? The evolution of workplace productivity – 13:49 Why did productivity decrease when we have so many tools to be more productive? What can you eliminate from your daily schedule to be 10x more productive than your competition? How do you limit communication to maximize productivity? The reason most people can’t leave their work at the office – 28:18 Why is it important to slow down if you want to increase productivity? What are the 3 biggest takeaways from studying traditional knowledge workers that you can use to maximize productivity? Can you be more productive without using any email? – 40:45 What happpened the productivity of 12 employees in a study where the experimenters disabled their email accounts? What simple framework can you implement on your team to improve transparency, reduce stress, increase productivity, and increase the collaboration between employees and managers? The little known technique to most effectively distribute your team’s workload – 52:23 Why do rude people get promoted faster? What mistake do people make that prevents them from getting promoted without even knowing it? How do you apply slow productivity to being a more productive writer – 1:08:16 What principles of slow productivity should you apply to your writing practice to increase your productivity and efficiency as a writer? What simple trick can you implement in your hybrid work situation to decrease time spent on email, increase communication effectivity, increase meeting effectivity, increase productivity, and increase deep work? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle meaning and purpose with Samuel T Wilkinson. Sam is a professor of psychiatry at Yale University, an associate director of the Yale Depression Research Program, and the author of his latest book Purpose: What Evolution and Human Nature Imply about the Meaning of Our Existence. In this episode, we explore the two sides of human nature and how they guide us to find our true purpose. We dive into free will's role in achieving a good life, look at how committed relationships affect our happiness, and share new scientific findings on evolution that help explain our life's meaning.  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How does understanding the duality of human nature enhance your leadership and communication strategy? Is our success and decision-making process truly random, or is there an underlying order that can be leveraged for personal growth? How do different religious beliefs about free will influence our life choices and purpose? – 14:48 Can exploring various beliefs on free will unlock a deeper sense of purpose and direction in life and career? What are the implications of Monogamy vs. Promiscuity on society and personal well-being? – 20:10 How do shifting norms around relationships impact societal stability and individual well-being? How do relationships define our happiness and purpose, according to the longest running study on human development? How do deep meaningful relationships fuel our search for purpose? – 33:00 How do relationships and attachment theory play a critical role in finding purpose and fulfillment? What are the actionable steps to deepen your connections and harness the power of meaningful relationships in your personal and professional life?  How does parenthood reshape our priorities and enhance our sense of purpose? – 40:16 How does parenthood transform one's priorities and contribute to a greater sense of purpose and societal contribution? What are the unique rewards and challenges of raising children, and how do they impact personal growth and career advancement? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle supercommunicators with Charles Duhigg. Charles is a Pulitzer prize-winning reporter, writer for The New Yorker magazine, and the author of two New York Times bestsellers, The Power of Habit, and his second book, Smarter Faster Better. His latest book, Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, is available February 20, 2024. We discuss how supercommunicators use 3 types of conversation to their advantage. Charles shares a 3 second preparation routine you can use instantly to make your conversations better. How to skip small talk and take conversation deeper to create connection with anyone, and why recognizing social identities can help you manage difficult conversations effectively. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do you recognize a supercommunicator in your life, and what impact do they have on your personal development and well-being? What do supercommunicators do so well that most people suck at? The thin line between authentic conversation and interrogation – 16:29 What simple mindset shift can you make to turn boring conversations into fulfilling conversations that engage the other person and make them look forward to talking to you? Social media gets toxic because most people don’t know these rules – 24:13 Why are there rules for communicating through different forms of technology and how do those rules cause social media to be so toxic? If you want lifelong happiness, what do you need to have by age 45 and 65? The little known technique that makes hard conversations easy – 34:28 What are the 3 types of conversations and how do you know which type you’re having with someone so there’s no disconnect? How do you build out the skill set to be more comfortable expressing vulnerability? Quick guide to prepare you for any conversation – 47:43 What are practical ways to mentally prepare for emotional and social discussions, even if you're not accustomed to expressing vulnerability? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle learning excellence with Eric Potterat and Alan Eagle. Eric is one of the world's leading performance psychologists, a retired US naval commander, a lead psychologist for the US Navy Seals, the Los Angeles Dodgers, and co-author of Learned Excellence: Mental Disciplines for Leading and Winning from the World's Top Performers. His co author, Allan Eagle, is a colleague of Dr. Potterat’s at Google and best selling author himself. He was blown away by Dr Potterat’s lessons and wanted to co-author a book To share Eric's knowledge with the world.  How can the mental disciplines used by the world's elite performers transform not just your career, but how you connect with others? We uncover the secrets to achieving unparalleled success and fulfillment, learning from experts who've coached the best, from Navy SEALs to top business leaders, on learning excellence, becoming visible in elite circles to unlock career opportunities, and the 6 pillars of performance you need to master to become elite.  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What simple exercise can you do to improve your performance in every area of your daily life? The mindset shift most that causes most people to give up – 14:00 What do you do when effort and hard work are not enough to perform at your best or reach your goals? What is the key to becoming excellent at anything you choose to pursue, even if you’re currently terrible at it? How do you know if you’re on the right path – 27:20 What can you look for to figure out if you’re on the right path or using the right process to solve your problem? What can you do to get yourself ready before a big speech or pitch to manage stress, and how do you manage the stress in the moment? How do elite performers take valuable experience from everything they do – 37:50 What are the 6 pillars you should always maintain in life to create the greatest resilience before life inevitably kicks you in the face? Unlocking elite performance in your children – 45:54 How do you help your children learn excellence? What questions can you ask your kids everyday to achieve their potential? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle empathy with Michael Ventura, Paul Bloom, Geoffrey Cohen, and Rick Hanson. Michael Ventura is the author of Applied Empathy: The New Language of Leadership. Paul Bloom is a professor at the University of Toronto and author of Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion. Geoffrey Cohen is a Stanford professor and author of Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides. And Rick Hanson is a psychologist and senior fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center and NYT bestselling author of Taking in the Good. How can empathy revolutionize your personal and professional relationships? Have you ever considered that empathy could be more than just understanding others' feelings? What if we told you that empathy is not just about being nice, but about wielding a deep, objective perspective that could unlock your true potential and transform your approach to social interactions? Discover how to identify your empathy archetype, why empathy is crucial in leadership, and how it can be a superpower in your interactions. Are you ready to challenge your perceptions and cultivate a skill that guarantees meaningful connections and success? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the most common misconception about empathy? How do you develop empathy and why does it seem like so many people lack it these days? Do psychopaths have empathy? – 13:02 What do most people get wrong about empathy and sympathy?  What are the 7 empathy archetypes? Forging a strong and confident brain – 19:12 How do you strengthen your brain and make it confident, and why would you want to?  What tiny habit can you work on for moments each day that will enable you to build relationships with whoever you want? The approach to empathy most people avoid – 31:39 What is the most time-efficient way to maximize your empathy? What is the best way to stand up for yourself if someone says something that makes you or someone else uncomfortable? Leaders ignore this one skill to the detriment of their business – 39:31 How can leaders and team members integrate empathy into their work environment to improve dynamics and outcomes? What 15 minute exercise can you do every morning to cultivate deeper empathy? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle likability with AJ, Johnny, and Michael Herold.  In this episode, we unpack the secrets to becoming irresistibly likable, mastering the art of propinquity, and leveraging your network effectively. We tackle burning questions such as how to build a vibrant social life irrespective of your location, the role of technology in networking, and how to make every social interaction count. Whether you're starting anew in a different city or looking to inject new energy into your current social circle, this episode is a goldmine of strategies and insights. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is propinquity, and how can it drastically improve your ability to make friends anywhere you live? Stop unknowingly sabotaging your social life – 11:38 Are you unknowingly sabotaging your social life? Learn the common pitfalls to avoid and boost your social presence Want to know how propinquity can boost your career? Discover how one client dramatically improved his professional life using this concept Turn mindless activity into great networking opportunities – 19:12 Why is mindless social media scrolling a missed opportunity? Learn how to turn your social media habits into networking gold How can your reputation skyrocket your likability and networking success? Find out the power of social proof in expanding your circle The secret to boosting your likability – 30:01 How can showing curiosity in others' interests boost your likability? Feeling like your interests are too niche for others? Learn how to find common ground in any conversation The hidden psychological principle that draws people in – 40:15 What psychological principles drive our attraction to others and how can you use those principles to boost your likability? How can you leverage online platforms to showcase your personality and interests? A Word From Our Sponsors Bombas crafts ridiculously comfortable socks, tees, and underwear, and for every item sold, they donate one to help those facing homelessness — over 100 million essentials donated so far. Not only are their clothes designed for ultimate comfort with features like arch support and buttery-soft fabric, but they also ensure customer satisfaction with a 100% Happiness Guarantee for hassle-free returns and exchanges. Ready to get comfy and give back? Head over to Bombas.com/CHARM and use code CHARM for twenty percent off your first purchase! $75 SPONSORED JOB CREDIT to upgrade your job post at Indeed.com/CHARM. Offer good for a limited time. Ready to start your ecommerce business? Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/charm. Grow your business–no matter what stage you’re in. Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you?  That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone?  Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle perfectionism with Thomas Curran. Thomas is an associate professor in the Department of Psychological and Behavioral Science at the London School of Economics, and the author of The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough. We tackle the critical issue of how perfectionism can be both a driving force and a relationship killer, dissect the three key dimensions of perfectionism, and guide you on self-assessment to understand your personal perfectionism traps. We also delve into managing perfectionism's impact on work ethic and productivity, especially in the era of social media. Lastly, we provide actionable strategies for high performers to avoid perfectionism pitfalls, ensuring a balanced approach that fosters achievement without sacrificing personal connections or mental well-being. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the 3 dimensions of perfectionism? How perfectionism destroys relationships – 11:17 What do you need to do to foster healthy relationships with perfectionists? What first steps can you take to overcome perfectionism so it doesn’t destroy your relationships and professional success? Where do you fall on the perfectionism scale? – 20:19 How do you measure perfectionism and what questions can you ask to find out where you fall on the perfectionism scale? How much of your perfectionism is genetic, and how do you manage perfectionism when you have kids who might inherit that trait? Perfectionists sabotage their own work ethic because of this – 30:54 How do you make sure your perfectionism doesn’t have a negative impact on your productivity and work ethic? How should you approach social media as a perfectionist since social media can present you with many opportunities for your perfectionism to take a toll on your psyche? The perfectionism traps 90% of people fall into – 42:31 How do you avoid the perfectionism traps so you can accept imperfection, make mistakes, and be kind to yourself and others, so you can accomplish what you need to get done without leaving a wake of destruction? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle friction with Bob Sutton. Bob is an organizational psychologist and professor at Stanford, a New York Times bestselling author, and is here with us to discuss his upcoming book, The Friction Project: How Smart Leaders Make the Right Things Easier and the Wrong Things Harder.  Bob Sutton sheds light on the double-edged sword of 'friction' in both professional and personal interactions, so why is friction a double-edged sword that you need to master to be successful, what strategies can you use to identify (and minimize) friction in your daily interactions, and how can you use positive friction as a tool to maximize your problem-solving capacity, boost productivity, and profitability? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do you identify the friction you bring to relationships that makes people not want to work with you or hang out with you? What can you learn from the California DMV about the importance of reducing friction to maximize productivity and boost customer satisfaction? 3 Ways to Make Friction a Force for Good at Work – 19:57 If friction slows things down, how do individuals and businesses use friction to amplify results? What strategies can individuals use to become friction fixers and accelerate their careers? How can understanding a company's culture of handling friction help you in job interviews? Power Poisoning and its impact on Organizational Friction – 34:00 How can leaders avoid falling into the trap of power poisoning so they don’t hurt their own bottom line by introducing unnecessary friction into the organization? The Impact of AI and Technology on Organizational Friction – 44:12 What are the best practices for integrating AI into the workplace without increasing friction? How can listeners apply the insights from The Friction Project to their professional and personal lives? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we tackle burnout with Dr Debbie Sorensen. Dr Sorensen got her PhD in psychology from Harvard University, is the cohost of the Psychologists Off the Clock podcast, runs a private practice in Boulder, Colorado, and is the author of ACT for Burnout: Recharge, Reconnect, and Transform Burnout With Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Today’s conversation delves into the signs, impact, and strategies to recover from burnout. Gain insights into recognizing burnout, addressing its root causes, and exploring Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) as a means to tackle burnout. From personal experiences to practical advice on navigating burnout, this episode offers a wealth of information to help listeners develop resilience and regain a sense of balance. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the obvious indicators of burnout that everyone overlooks when they’re burnt out? This one thing prevents most people from overcoming burnout Which of these 5 burnout cycles do you suffer from – 12:45 What are the most prevalent burnout cycles, and how do they trap individuals in a cycle of stress and recovery? Are certain personalities more susceptible to specific burnout cycles, and if so, why? The secret weapon against burnout that anyone can acquire – 25:51 What are the first steps someone can take to cultivate psychological flexibility in their daily life? Are certain personalities more susceptible to specific burnout cycles, and if so, why? And what can you do to reduce your susceptibility? The psychological toolkit to overcome burnout – 36:14 How can you use Acceptance Commitment Therapy tools to give yourself some breathing room and not allow your burnout to destroy the relationships you care about? The road to burnout recovery – 46:07 What are the necessary steps to go from burnout to some semblance of normal? How can you bring up the topic of burnout with someone you care about who is showing signs of burnout? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side. Visit lifemd.com/CHARM to get started! In today’s episode, we tackle networking secrets with four leading networking experts. The experts on this compilation are Karen Wickre, author of Taking the Work Out of Networking, Matthew Pollard, the author of The Introvert's Edge to Networking, David Siegel, a close friend of ours and the CEO of meetup.com, and Susan McPherson, the author of The Lost Art of Connecting. With insights from experienced guests Karen Wickre, Matthew Pollard, David Siegel, and Susan McPherson, we explore the art of networking, both in person and online, while debunking common misconceptions about introverts and showcasing their unique strengths in the networking game. Join us as we explore the importance of storytelling, the value of research and preparation, and the significance of maintaining genuine connections over time.  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How could mastering the art of professional networking unlock doors you never knew existed in today's dynamic career landscape? As an introvert, what hidden strengths do you possess that could turn networking from a daunting task into your greatest ally in success? 5 Strategies to Crush Networking Events that Most Will Ignore – 13:10 Discover the ultimate strategies that transform ordinary networking encounters into life-changing connections — are you missing out? What if I told you that in just 5 minutes, you can turn a casual chat at a networking event into a lasting, impactful relationship? The Key Component of Networking Everyone Overlooks – 22:26 Ever wonder what makes certain people magnetic in any room? Uncover the key component of networking that ensures you're never forgotten Are you approaching networking events all wrong? Learn how to research potential connections effectively and transform your next event into a goldmine of opportunities Feeling lost at networking events? Set these simple yet powerful missions for yourself and watch how drastically your experience changes Tips to Not Be Forgotten After an Event – 32:08 What's the one crucial step you must take after a networking event to ensure your new connections turn into meaningful, long-term relationships? Should You Be Direct or Indirect – 41:50 How does adopting a more direct approach in your interactions lead to more meaningful connections, and what might you be risking by avoiding this strategy? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side. Visit lifemd.com/CHARM to get started! In today’s episode, we hand selected the best clips from 2023 to prepare you for the New Year. Check out the resources section down below for links to every interview in this episode. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! If you've ever found yourself pondering how to navigate life's unexpected challenges, master the art of influence, or forge deeper connections, this episode is your guide. We uncover the secrets to turning envy into empowerment and inspire those around you. From the psychological tricks that make you irresistibly interesting to the key strategies for maintaining vibrant friendships and marriages, we've got you covered. Tune in to discover revolutionary solutions for avoiding burnout and fostering enduring relationships. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How can you stay prepared for any unexpected hurdle in life? The secret to framing questions to get people to do whatever you want  What can you do to leverage envy to help you instead of making you feel bad about yourself? The Key to Inspire Everyone Around You – 19:12 What is the psychological trick to be so interesting to the people around you that everyone wants to spend time with you? What is the key to exude confidence when talking to someone you’ve just met? The Secret Language of Relationships – 32:50 How should you respond to your romantic partner if you don’t want to get dumped or divorced? Why is it important for us to make small talk with strangers everyday? The Little Known Way to Make Friends When We’re Older – 40:47 What can you do to create solid friendships when you’re older while also maintaining your youthful energy and child-like curiosity? What are the 5 layers of listening that will supercharge your communication skills? The Revolutionary Solution to Saving Marriages – 56:21 What signs do you need to pay attention to if you don’t want your marriage to fail? The Ultimate Approach to Avoiding Burnout and Relieving Stress & Anxiety – 1:02:40 What can you do to alleviate any feelings of burnout and relieve stress and anxiety immediately? How do you make replacement friends as you get older and why is it important to maintain peak performance later in life? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side. Visit lifemd.com/CHARM to get started! In today’s episode, we tackle the price of greatness with Morgan Housel, the author of The Psychology of Money and Same as Ever: A Guide to What Never Changes which is already a NYT bestseller. Today we’re redefining success and happiness, starting with a myth-busting take on the 1950s' nostalgia. Discover the unconventional yet effective strategy of finding happiness, gain unique insights into how embracing failure is a secret weapon used by top comedians to achieve greatness, including wisdom from the legendary Jerry Seinfeld on the art of timing and knowing when to walk away.  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Most people overlook this simple mindset shift to be happy  Why do we feel so nostalgic about the 1950s and does that nostalgia have a basis in reality? The psychological trick to making effortless changes in behavior  – 18:12 What is the simple strategy most people overlook to streamline your path to accomplishing your goals? If you want to be successful, when is the best time to walk away or move on from something you’re invested in? This is more important than competitive advantages in the long run – 26:50 What can we learn from why once-dominant businesses collapsed in order to stay competitive in a hyper competitive market? The secret to going viral on any platform – 37:55 What do you have to do to go viral that most people will never try?  The unspoken painful price of greatness – 52:20 Why would most people give up on the pursuit of fame if they knew this price they would have to pay? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side. Visit lifemd.com/CHARM to get started! In today’s episode, we tackle achieving the impossible with Dr Mike Massimino. Dr Massimino served as an astronaut from 1996 to 2014 and went to space twice, he was the first human to tweet from space, the last human to work inside the Hubble telescope, and is the author of Moonshot: A NASA Astronaut’s Guide to Achieving the Impossible. In this installment, we have a truly out-of-this-world guest, Dr. Mike Massimino, who brings us inside the captivating world of space exploration as he delves into Hoot's Law and the art of handling mistakes in the unforgiving expanse of space. He shares invaluable insights into building a team culture that leads to unparalleled success at NASA, and explains the secrets behind the 30-second rule, a powerful tool for overcoming regret and performing at a high level in critical situations.  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the most surprising challenges Dr Massimino had to overcome to become an astronaut after being rejected several times? What is the value of teamwork most people have forgotten – 14:02 What are the psychological benefits of being on a team that greatly increase your ability to succeed? What is the most important thing to nurture in your team as a leader in order to avoid catastrophe? The danger signs that trust is about to break – 27:38 What signs should you pay attention for if you’re concerned about What is Hoot’s law and why is it crucial to consider when you find yourself in a stressful or dangerous situation? The astronaut’s secret to effortlessly overcome regret and perform – 40:54 How do you overcome regret in a high pressure situation so you can perform at the highest level regardless of the circumstances? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side. Visit lifemd.com/CHARM to get started! In today’s episode, we tackle decision making with some of the world’s experts on the topic. First, Annie Duke, a former professional poker player now a coach and author of Quit, The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away. Next, David Siegel, CEO of Meetup.com and author of Decide and Conquer, shares his expertise on leadership decision-making. Dan Ariely, a Duke University professor and renowned author, who delves into overcoming indecision and regret. Finally, former intelligence officer and author Shane Parrish talks about his book Clear Thinking: Turning Extraordinary Moments Into Extraordinary Results. From the influence of regret on our choices to the impact of blind spots on decision patterns, our guests offer practical strategies to enhance your decision-making skills. Join us as we explore the power of timely action, the significance of embracing change, and the transformative potential of making better decisions. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Most people have no idea that this one mindset shift will lead to life changing improvements in decision making Most people make bad decisions because of these factors – 9:28 How do most people get stuck in making decisions and what can you do to get unstuck? What are the most common biases we have to overcome to make the right decisions? How do you overcome the sunk cost problem so you don’t waste years of your life trying to make a prior bad decision work? This bias stops people from reaching high levels of success – 21:39 Why are most people stuck making decisions that keep them where they are instead of making decisions that put them on track to where they want to be? Use these tools to avoid making terrible decisions – 33:55 How do you create a habit so you make great decisions and avoid terrible decisions without even thinking about them? Most people will never ask this simple question to obtain a mentor who could change their lives forever People don’t prioritize this area of decision making enough – 44:09 How do you create rules for automatic success? When is the right time to quit something you’re invested in? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side. Visit lifemd.com/CHARM to get started! In today’s episode, we tackle the epidemic of loneliness elite performance with AJ, Johnny, and Michael Herold.  With loneliness reaching epidemic levels in today's society, our hosts explore the detrimental impacts it can have on our health and well-being. They share their expertise in communication, confidence, and relationships to provide practical tools for combating loneliness and building meaningful connections. From recognizing the signs of loneliness to fostering strong networks, this episode offers valuable insights and strategies for navigating the challenges of isolation. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the loneliness epidemic, how did people get to be so lonely, and what can we do about it so it doesn’t get worse? Most people don’t know the health risks of this – 14:33 How does loneliness cause detrimental effects to your physical health? This type of self-talk stops people from asking for help – 20:02 What simple mental switch can you flip to strengthen the relationships in your life? Who is to blame for the loneliness epidemic? This exercise is crucial to figure out who your real friends are – 28:00 What can you do to figure out if the people in your life are helping you or holding you back? What can you do today to build rock solid confidence? Only a small handful will take this step to end the loneliness epidemic – 38:36 What can you do today to strengthen existing relationships in your life while simultaneously helping to end the loneliness epidemic? A Word From Our Sponsors Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. $75 SPONSORED JOB CREDIT to upgrade your job post at Indeed.com/CHARM. Offer good for a limited time. Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you?  That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone?  Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side. Visit lifemd.com/CHARM to get started! In today’s episode, we cover elite performance with David Goggins. David Goggins achieved the extraordinary, being the sole individual to conquer the grueling training regimens of the SEALs, Army Rangers, and Air Force Tactical Air Controllers. His resilience has seen him cross the finish line of over seventy ultra-marathons, frequently securing top positions, and his iron determination once earned him a Guinness World Record for an astonishing 4,030 pull-ups within a mere seventeen hours. Goggins isn't just a physical marvel; he's also a masterful orator, inspiring audiences worldwide with his insights on mental fortitude.  In today's episode, we are joined by the incredible David Goggins, a true embodiment of mental and physical resilience. Goggins has transformed his life, bringing himself from a place of insecurity and doubt to becoming a renowned ultra-marathon runner and motivational speaker. Join our hosts as they unravel the inspiring story of David Goggins and explore his strategies for overcoming self-doubt, finding inner strength, and pushing beyond our perceived limits.  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do you balance a relationship if you’re extremely ambitious so both of you can pursue goals? What do you say to people you love who don’t support your lofty aspirations?  The secret to lose 100+ pounds in 3 months – 10:12 How did David Goggins lose 106 pounds in 3 months? How do you flip that mental switch on days you don’t feel like working out? What you’re looking for is on the other side of this – 21:14 Most people will never push themselves beyond this point to accomplish everything they want in life The most successful people in history have a great relationship with this side of themselves that average people ignore David Goggins’s secret to breaking crippling habits – 30:40 What can you do to eliminate all distractions right now? How did David Goggins stop caring about what other people think? This one thing makes you completely unrelatable – 46:51 This belief is the number on factor in David Goggins’s life that helped him build the self discipline to do what he does What does David Goggins want to be remembered for? A Word From Our Sponsors Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. $75 SPONSORED JOB CREDIT to upgrade your job post at Indeed.com/CHARM. Offer good for a limited time. Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you?  That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone?  Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side -> lifemd.com/CHARM In today’s episode, we cover communication with five elite communication experts. We have Dr Carole Robin, who's been teaching the legendary course, interpersonal dynamics at the Stanford Graduate School of Business. Chuck Wisner, the author of The Art of Conscious Conversations, Karen Wickre, the author of Taking the Work Out of Networking, Jonah Berger, professor at Wharton School and the author of several best selling books on influence and social Dynamics, including Magic Words, and Susan McPherson, the author of The Lost Art of Connecting. From the significance of open-ended questions to the impact of language on emotions, our guests share strategies to influence and connect with others. We'll also uncover the keys to building high-value relationships, the role of vulnerability in leadership, and the importance of active listening in meaningful conversations. Join us as we uncover actionable steps and insights to elevate your communication skills and unlock hidden potential. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Break this one habit before it breaks your budding relationships How do you create better quality conversations and open up dialogue with anyone? What is the worst question you can ask when someone is sad or upset?  This type of language pushes most people away – 11:50 Most people won’t do this one thing in order to improve their relationships How do you master the skill of listening so you can avoid relationship-breaking problems while also building the strongest relationships? Most people hide who they are because of this – 22:15 This is the one key to being the greatest version of yourself How do you turn acquaintances into friends and friends into allies? The key to creating lifelong connections – 32:20 Most CEOs will never do this even though it supercharges the output of their employees The secret to resolving marital conflict that people ignore at their own peril The 3 little known phrases to get your point across – 45:20 How do you train your inner dialogue to be constructive instead of critical? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side -> lifemd.com/CHARM In today’s episode, we cover thinking fast and talking smarter with Matt Abrahams. Matt is a leading communication expert with decades of experience as an educator, author, and coach. As a Lecturer at Stanford University's Graduate School of Business, he teaches popular classes on strategic communication and effective virtual presenting. He hosts the award-winning podcast Think Fast, Talk Smart, and is the author of the book Speaking Up without Freaking Out, as well as his newest book Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You're Put on the Spot. Being able to think on your feet in every conversation can yield life-changing opportunities and relationships, so how does maximizing mediocrity better prepare you to think on your feet, what is the 3 step framework to listening so you know how to respond, and what is the secret to gracefully exiting any conversation so you avoid awkward goodbyes?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the anxiety spiral and how does it trip you up in critical moments? What 3 ways does anxiety manifest and how do you deal with each one so they don’t trip you up in important conversations? This common practice works against you – 9:59 What is scripting and why should you avoid it if you want to make a great first impression? How do you communicate effectively when people’s attention spans are still on the decline?  Having this mindset makes communication effortless – 22:41 Why is storytelling important when it comes to communicating and building relationships, and how do you get better at telling stories? What 3 simple questions can you ask yourself to provide the perfect response to any communication? The secret to make small talk impactful when it counts – 31:39 How do you make small talk fun and meaningful for everyone you talk to so it leads to better relationships and more opportunities? What is the “white flag” trick to leave any conversation without making it awkward? How to fix a mistake when mis-speaking in a crucial moment – 44:16 What should you do if you make a mistake in an important conversation or presentation? How do you acknowledge it without making the situation worse? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover self-mastery with Dr. Michael Gervais. Michael is one of the world's top high performance psychologists and leading experts on the relationship between the mind and human performance, and the author of The First Rule of Mastery: Stop Worrying about What People Think of You. Being social creatures is a double edged sword because we can rely on others to survive and get ahead in life, but with that comes the crippling concern of what others think about us, so how do you disregard the opinions of others so you can focus your efforts on what you need to do to reach your potential? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is FOPO and why is one of the greatest constrictors of human potential? Why is FOPO the first step to mastery? Overcome the doubt that crushes everyone else – 12:17 How do you stop worrying about what everyone thinks of you? How do you make yourself significantly more attractive without changing anything about your outward appearance?   What do pros do under pressure that no one else does – 23:20 What is Ricky Fowler’s secret to excelling under the same pressure that crushes amateur athletes? What is the difference between a performance-based mindset and a purpose-based mindset? The secret to living a life most people never can – 33:38 What steps can you take to focus on your purpose and disregard the opinions and expectations of everyone around you? Lone wolves will never reach the same level these people do – 44:58 What prevents loners from reaching their full potential? Why do you need other people in order to reach your full potential? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover what it takes to be a Green Beret with Nick Lavery. Nick is an active duty member of the United States Army Special Forces. On his 2nd combat rotation to Afghanistan 10 years ago, he and his detachment fell victim to an insider attack that led to Nick losing his leg. Refusing a military medical retirement, Nick set his sights on returning to operational status. Nick is considered the 1st special forces operator to return to combat as an above-the-knee amputee. Lastly, he's the author of the book Objective Secure: The Battle-Tested Guide to Goal Achievement. The Green Berets are the elite special forces of the U.S. Army, but what separates the elite from the rest, why is relationship building critical to the Green Beret’s mission success, and what does it take to rapidly build trust and camaraderie with people across different cultures and language barriers? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why did Nick Lavery enlist in the Army Special Forces?  Most people never enlist this way – 11:30 What separates the Green Berets from other special operations forces in the military? How do elite special forces learn to rapidly develop trust with people across different cultures and language barriers?   The military secret to building unbreakable teams – 23:26 What do elite special forces do to forge bonds among teams to ensure mission success in life or death situations? The only Green Beret to return to active duty without a leg – 27:27 How did Nick Lavery lose a leg and return to active duty as the only Green Beret with an above-knee amputation? The moment he rejoined his band of brothers – 46:15 What was it like for Nick to finally rejoin his team of Green Berets? The 3 reasons soldiers crave the chaos of war when they’re away from the battlefield The key to building relationships that most people overlook – 1:01:30 What do most people not do when they’re trying to build new relationships? How do you crush self-doubt like the elite special forces? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the value of pursuing your passions with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael Herold. You’ve heard people tell you to follow your passions, but how do you define a passion, how do you combine your passions to create a unique skill set that sets you apart in your industry, and how do you share your passions with people to strengthen your network and friendships? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the most relevant definition of passion? What is the opposite Dunning-Kruger effect and how do you overcome it? Inspire people with your passion – 11:55 How do you bring your passions and interests into conversation to deepen your connections even when the people you’re talking to don’t share your passions and interests? What’s the secret to mastering any skill? Forge the unique passion skillset no one else has – 20:20 How do you combine your interests and passions to set yourself apart from 90% of people in your industry? Leverage your passions to squeeze the most out of life – 32:27 How do you use your passions to define your purpose and craft goals that sling shot you toward your dreams? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover building relationships with Geoffrey Cohen, Dr Carole Robin, Colin Coggins and Garrett Brown, David Siegel, and Susan McPherson. Geoffrey Cohen is a professor and the author of Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides. Dr Carole Robin teaches a legendary course called Interpersonal Dynamics at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Colin Coggins and Garrett Brown are the authors of The Unsold Mindset: Redefining What It Means to Sell. David Siegel is the CEO of MeetUp. Susan McPherson is the author of The Lost Art of Connecting: The Gather, Ask, Do Method for Building Meaningful Business Relationships. Relationships are one of the most important factors in your happiness, fulfillment, and success, but how do you build exceptional relationships that actually last, what is the real problem with building relationships and how do you overcome it, and what is the secret to turning acquaintances into real friends? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the secret to building lifelong friendships and relationships? How do you come across as authentic when meeting new people so they don’t think you’re manipulative or deceptive? The mindset you need to be successful in relationships – 13:37 What mindset shift do you need in order to be successful in relationships? How do you develop resilience so the inevitable road bumps in life don’t crush you? How do you reframe rejection so you embrace it rather than avoid it? The ultimate strategy for making friends with like-minded people – 24:26 Where is the best place to meet people you want to build lasting friendships with? How do you build an epic social circle from scratch no matter where you live? The 3-step networking strategy 90% of people will never implement – 36:33 What simple pattern can you implement in any networking event to make connections with anyone you want? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the art of decision making with Shane Parrish. Shane is an expert on mental models and frameworks for effective decision-making, a former intelligence officer, founder of Farnam Street (the world’s most read blog on clear thinking), and the author of Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results. Every day is filled with countless decisions you don’t think twice about, but those little decisions have a larger impact than the “life-changing” decisions you spend days, weeks, or months contemplating, so what is the secret to ensure those everyday decisions you make are not pulling you away from the life you want, what 4 psychological traps must you avoid to make the best decisions, and what rituals can you put into place to propel you toward the life you want? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How to use the small everyday decisions to get ahead of everyone worrying about the big “life-changing” decisions? What is more important than doing your best? Rules for success that 90% of people never follow – 15:05 How do you ensure you only make the best decisions in stressful or high pressure situations? How to love doing something you hate – 27:47 What systematic routine can you implement to turn any task into one you look forward to and excel at? What mental trick can you use to achieve any goal you set for yourself? Are you chasing the right goals? – 39:51 How can you know if you’re chasing the goals YOU want for yourself or if you’re chasing the goals OTHERs want for you that you have internalized as your goals that you will later regret wasting your life in pursuit of? What proven template can you use to learn from every mistake you make and have made? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover how to make friends with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael Herold.  It is an unfortunate statistic that we lose friends as we get older, but why does that happen, what can you do to make and maintain friendships that last a lifetime, what are the 3 traits you need to be the friend everyone wants, and proven system can you implement tomorrow to attract dynamic high value people into your life?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why do you have fewer friends today than you did 10 or 20 years ago and what can you do to rebuild friendships you’ve lost? Make dynamic high value friends that turbocharge your life – 10:05 What can you do to find and build friendships with high value people who share your values and interests? 3 steps to be the rock star of your social circle – 20:38 What 3 traits do you need to master to be the guy (or girl) everyone wants to be around? How do you pinpoint the valuable social capital you bring to friendships so you can leverage it to accelerate the building of future friendships? Build rock solid friendships effectively and efficiently – 38:46 How many hours does it take to build friendships that last a lifetime? What is the most effective AND efficient strategy to funnel the best prospects for friendship into your life so you don’t waste time getting to know people who don’t meet your standards? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover getting unstuck with Adam Alter. Adam is a renowned academic and speaker known for his work in marketing and psychology, the New York Times bestselling author of Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked and Drunk Tank Pink: And Other Unexpected Forces That Shape How We Think, Feel, and Behave. His newest book is Anatomy of a Breakthrough: How to Get Unstuck When It Matters Most. It can feel crippling to get stuck in life and not know how to move forward, so what psychological traps keep you stuck and how do you avoid them, how do you manage your emotions so you don’t waste time staying stuck longer than necessary, and what can you do to create a hot streak every time you get unstuck?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How can you recognize when you get stuck so you don’t waste your life away?  What is the secret Lionel Messi uses to overcome his performance anxiety? Your mind is tricking you into staying stuck – 16:42 What are the psychological traps that keep you stuck in life and how do you avoid them or get out of them? Managing your emotions to get unstuck – 27:10 How do your emotions help you or hinder you when it comes to feeling stuck in life and how do you deal with them? Fishy life lessons – 39:25 What can we learn from specific fish about the value of patience and always trying to be first? How do you use failure to get unstuck? Creating your own hot streak – 44:16 What can you do to create a hot streak of success in your career regardless of where you are in life? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the 4 pillars of happiness with Arthur C Brooks. Arthur is the best selling author of 12 books on topics ranging from economic opportunity to human happiness, and his newest book Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier that he co-wrote with Oprah Winfrey. Happiness is a feeling anyone can cultivate but one that is increasingly difficult in a tech-centric world, so what is the best way to manage your emotions to achieve happiness and success, why are extroverts happier than introverts and what can you do to decrease your unhappiness as an introvert, and what is the difference between pleasure and enjoyment that most people don’t know even though it makes the difference between fulfillment and loneliness? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 When is intolerance and hatred necessary? Why do humans crave social interaction with family and friends?  The secret to happiness – 14:08 What is the key to increasing your happiness no matter what is going on in your life? How do you manage envy so it doesn’t prevent you from being happy? Why you need to feel unhappy – 24:08 Why is unhappiness just as important as happiness when it comes to managing your mood from day to day? What are the 4 pillars of happiness? What is the most important thing loners need to understand if they want to be happy in their solitude? Real Friends vs Deal Friends – 37:00 What are the two types of friends we all have and which group contributes to your loneliness? What are the 5 challenges we face in building strong and healthy relationships? The right choices to build relationships – 50:36 What two things should you be focusing on to build lifelong relationships with friends, family, and your significant other? What is the neurochemical difference between pleasure and enjoyment and why does one make you feel empty and lonely? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover happiness with 4 of the world’s leading experts on the topic: Arthur C. Brooks, Dr. Robert Waldinger, Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, and Christoph Schnedlitz.  Happiness and purpose make a life worth living, but what factors contribute to and take away from your ability to be happy, what role do relationships play in your happiness, and how do you build happiness that doesn’t depend on what’s happening in your life?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who are the world’s leading experts on happiness?  Building Happiness – 3:50 What simple question can you ask yourself to build life-changing happiness? Success Addiction – 12:00 How do you get addicted to success and what can you do to break the addiction? Harvard Happiness Study – 14:24 What is the Harvard Happiness Study and what can you learn from the results to foster happiness in your life? Social Media and Happiness – 24:25 How does social media affect global happiness and what can you do to protect yourself from its effects? Relationships and Happiness – 29:02 How much do your relationships influence your lifetime happiness? What can you do to maintain the relationships in your life that bring you happiness? What are the biggest happiness myths? The 3 Happiness Skills – 40:35 What skills should you work on to build resilient happiness? Why is boredom an important component of happiness? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the 3 pillars of powerful communication with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael Herold.  Humans are social creatures and history has taught us that powerful communication can help anyone achieve any goal we have in life, but what are the 3 pillars of powerful communication, how can you strengthen each one, and what are you risking by never becoming a powerful communicator?  What to Listen For First pillar of powerful communication – 0:00 What is the difference between hearing what someone is telling you vs actively listening to someone? What are the 3 layers of listening you need to understand so the people around you feel like they are important to you? What is the crucial skill you are missing to get ahead professionally, personally, and romantically? Second pillar of powerful communication – 22:17 What is the biggest pitfall you make in conversation that can kill a connection and make people not want to talk to you? How do you give people value in a conversation so they want to know more about you and spend more time with you? Third pillar of powerful communication – 35:53 What is the one thing you should pay attention to if you don’t want your friendships, relationships, or even your marriage to fail? What is an emotional bid and how do you recognize each of the 9 types in conversation so you can build long lasting connections with anyone you meet? A Word From Our Sponsors Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you?  That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone?  Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover relationship building and repairing with Michael Bungay Stanier. Michael is the founder of Box of Crayons, a learning and development company, and the author of several books including his bestseller The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever and his newest title How to Work with (Almost) Anyone: Five Questions for Building the Best Possible Relationships. Relationships are not easy to maintain and the best relationships take work, so how do you build the best relationships, what can you do to repair broken relationships, and how do you know you should just walk away?   What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the negative impacts of not having psychological safety in the workplace? Why is it important to seek relationships that go beyond safety? What questions can you ask so you can work with almost anyone? Increase productivity with language – 15:20 What is the best way to make a to-do list so you’ll actually complete it? What question can you ask to understand why people don’t like working with you? Repair the relationship – 31:20 What questions can you ask to stop a relationship from failing? What questions can you ask to repair a broken relationship? Can you reset a relationship? Choose your battles – 41:37 How do you know when you should walk away from a relationship or friendship? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover influence with Jonah Berger, Zoe Chance, and Vanessa Bohns. Jonah Berger is a professor at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, a best selling author, and world expert in social influence and consumer behavior. Zoe Chance is a professor at Yale School of Management and a researcher, speaker and consultant who specializes in persuasion, influence and behavioral economics. Vanessa Bonds is a social psychologist and professor at Cornell University, and her research focuses on how people make judgments and decisions in social contexts. Humans are social creatures so we are always influencing others and being influenced by others, but how does influence work, how do you protect yourself from being influenced by others, and what can you do to become more influential?   What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do others influence you without you being aware of it? What is the most common mistake we make when trying to influence the people around us and what should you do to avoid making the same mistake? The 3 layers of listening required for influence – 9:02 Why do you need to listen to others in order to influence them? What 3 things do you need to listen for so the other person knows you understand them and thus is more susceptible to your influence? One simple change to boost your influence – 15:07 What one word will amplify your ability to influence the person you’re talking to? What common mistake do people make when speaking that makes others less likely to respect what they have to say? Power of the pause – 31:20 Why is silence in conversation so impactful and how can you use it to your advantage?  The number one reason you don’t try – 33:42 How do you reframe rejection so you can embrace it and grow from it rather than avoid it and stop yourself from achieving your goals? What’s the best way to reject someone so you don’t hurt the person’s feelings? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover how to master change with Brad Stulberg. Brad regularly contributes to the New York Times and his work has been featured in the Wall Street Journal and the Atlantic, and he is the bestselling author of Peak Performance, The Passion Paradox, The Practice of Groundedness, and his newest: Master of Change: How to Excel When Everything Is Changing – Including You. Change can rock your world when you’re not prepared for it, so what can you do to become more resilient to change, how do you develop rugged flexibility, and what role does change play in our relationships?   What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How many major changes will you encounter in life and how do you prepare for them? How can you embrace change and use it to grow? What steps can we take to find balance in our own lives during times of change? Rugged Flexibility – 13:25 What is rugged flexibility, why do you need it, and how do you build it in your life? How to be resilient to change – 23:45 What are the two requirements to be resilient to change? How do you whittle down a list of values to your 3-5 core values and what impact can living in alignment with your core values have on your overall well-being? Control vs Expectations – 38:03 How do you balance the control you have over a situation with the expectations you have? How do you handle relationships with people who change in different ways from you? How do you set expectations with friendships to make your friends feel like they can always come to you?  The 4-P framework to handle change – 57:58 What is the 4-P framework and how can you use it to handle any change you encounter in life? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover the expectation effect with David Robson. David is an award winning writer who specializes in psychology and neuroscience, and is the author of The Intelligence Trap: Why Smart People Make Dumb Mistakes, and his most recent book, The Expectation Effect: How Your Mind Can Change Your World. Your expectations can mean the difference between failure and success, but why do your expectations have such a drastic impact, how can you reframe your expectations to achieve success whenever possible, and how do you use visualization techniques to boost your performance in any area overnight? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the expectation effect and why do your expectations impact everything you do? Reframe expectations to reach your goals – 10:47 How can you reframe your expectations to enjoy working out and achieve the body you’ve always wanted? Why is it important for you to feel stress and how do you know what too much stress is? What can you do to reframe expectations to be comfortable with public speaking? Visualization and Performance – 26:22 What visualization technique can you use to increase your strength by 10% and recover from injury faster? How do you use visualization to decrease your stress and anxiety? How do the expectations of people around you affect your performance and what can you do to decrease their impact? Do not do this if you want to be happy – 40:10 What do you need to avoid doing if you want to maximize your happiness and minimize your daily suffering? How can you use science to increase your willpower? How can you harness the science of expectations to build the top performing routine that will reach any goal you set for yourself? How do you reframe frustration to help you grow? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your  dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover culture with Dr Marcus Collins. Marcus is an award-winning marketer and cultural translator, the head of strategy at Wieden+Kennedy New York, a clinical assistant professor of marketing at the Ross School of Business, University of Michigan, and the author of For the Culture: The Power Behind What We Buy, What We Do, and Who We Want to Be.  Introduction Culture is as much a part of everyday life as the air we breathe, but how do we define what a culture is, what is the secret that marketers use to tap into culture and motivate you to take action, and how do you build your own culture (or find a new one)? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What does the word culture mean and why is culture so important to us? What are the three systems that make up culture? Fast Culture vs Slow Culture – 15:15 Why do certain aspects of culture move faster than others and how do they influence each other? Why is it taboo to talk openly about politics, religion, and money?  Role Theory – 30:11 What is role theory and how is it embedded in every culture? What is the difference between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation? How do you turn a trend into a cultural phenomenon – 45:28 What is a cultural contagion and what two factors determine whether something becomes an official part of a culture? If you’re not part of a culture, how do you understand a culture to appreciate it and understand where members of that culture are coming from? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover how to grow your charisma with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael Herold.  Charismatic people can light up a room and make everyone want to be around them, but what even is charisma, how does your charisma impact your career and relationships for better or worse, and what can you do to unlock your inner charisma to be more memorable and interesting? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What 3 skill sets do you need to work on to develop your charisma?  How to Grow Your Charisma – 10:50 How do you practice being more present so people feel like you are not ignoring or dismissing them? What can you do to develop your empathy so people don’t feel judged by you and pushed away? How do you be more enthusiastic so people don’t think you’re boring? Emotional Climate – 25:00 What emotional climate are you creating around people and how do you make a fun, positive, inviting emotional climate that makes people want to spend more time with you? Why is pessimism detrimental to your charisma and how can you become optimistic? Confidence – 36:02 How do you exude confidence that draws people in everytime you walk into the room? Why is vulnerability key to showing confidence? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your  dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover deception and fraud with Chris Chabris. Chris is a research psychologist, Senior Investigator at Geisinger Health System, visiting fellow at the Institute for Advanced Study, and associate professor of Psychology and co-director of the Neuroscience Program at Union College in New York. Scammers and con men are everywhere these days, but how can you recognize when you’re being scammed, what behaviors or habits of your own should be aware of that tip you off as a potential victim, and what tactics do scammers, businesses, and governments use on us to get what they want?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why are people fascinated by conmen and scammers? How did AJ get scammed in Thailand and what can you learn to avoid being scammed anywhere? How scammers choose their targets – 13:44 What 4 key cognitive habits do scammers exploit in their targets and how can you stop them from exploiting those habits in you? How we help scammers to scam us – 33:50 What do we unconsciously do to help people deceive us? How do people get away with large scale fraud and deception? What are the 4 hooks that businesses and governments use to deceive us? The weapons of scammers – 52:30 How do scammers and con men use words and memories against us? How does your memory deceive you every time you try to remember something? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your  dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover body language with former FBI agents Jack Schafer and Joe Navarro, trust and body language expert Abbie Maroño, and CEO of The Behavior Company Anne Maartje Oud, some of the leading experts in body language. We all possess the ability to read body language before we can form words, but in today’s world we seem to disregard this incredible ability early on, so what happened, why is it more important than ever, and what can you do to quickly relearn this invaluable skill?   What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why we (now) suck at reading body language – 3:01 How did we get so bad at reading body language in the west when we’re born with this ability? What is the only thing you can do to change a first impression? How do you build trust rapidly and effectively? What makes sincere human connection – 11:22 What are the 3 components you need to build a sincere human connection?  FBI advice for introverts – 23:01 When approaching a group of people, how do you know who is easiest to talk to? How do you know if you’re making someone uncomfortable and what can you do to make the other person comfortable? Body language myths – 31:25 What are the biggest misconceptions people have about body language? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your  dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box.  In today’s episode, we cover breaking the ice with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael.    Taking the first step is often the hardest, so when it comes to breaking the ice what is the most effective way to strike up a conversation, what mindset can you cultivate that will make conversations flow effortlessly, and what can you do to become unforgettable in the eyes of people you meet?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do you start conversations with strangers without coming off as awkward? The Conversation Formula – 7:50 What are some examples of simple questions to ask in social, romantic, or professional environments to start a conversation?  Why is it important to focus on "we" moments in conversations rather than just talking about yourself? What questions should you avoid in conversation? What Should You Say Next – 21:24  Why should you avoid asking questions over and over again, and what should you say after someone answers your question? If curiosity is the key to great conversations, how do you cultivate your own curiosity so conversations don’t feel awkward and forced? What topics should you avoid when talking to someone new? Become Unforgettable – 27:57 How do you create a positive, memorable impression so people never forget you and look forward to spending time with you? What exercise can you use in a conversation to create a stronger bond with anyone? With all of these tips in mind, it's important to remember that building meaningful relationships still takes time and effort. It's not a one-time event; rather, it's an ongoing process that grows with each new connection. Working on developing meaningful relationships may bring success in the professional or personal goals desired. Nevertheless, it also requires a commitment to get out of your comfort zone, acknowledge different points of view, listen more than you talk, and ask thoughtful questions about the person and what they stand for. Ultimately, when we put care into connecting to others on a more focused level and look beyond our surface interests or intentions, we can create stronger connections that have a lasting impact on our lives. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your  dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover journaling with Ceri Samvilian. Ceri is an expert on journaling, a certified life coach, author of Journal and discover your authentic self, and speaker with 20 years of experience in human resources.    The most important relationship you can have in life is with yourself, but how do you use journaling to nurture and strengthen that relationship, what simple journal prompt can you use to defeat overthinking, and when is it more important to journal so you are better capable of handling the inevitable tough times in life?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 If you’re feeling stuck in life, what can you do today to get unstuck and start building unstoppable momentum? How can you use journaling to figure out who your authentic self is? The Principles of Effective Journaling – 19:45 How do you start journaling? What questions can you ask yourself to make journaling productive? How can journaling help individuals become more self-aware? Who should journal? – 30:50  Why do men need to journal? When is it more important to journal? What questions can you ask yourself to improve your journaling practice and make it more enjoyable? The one thing all humans need in order to be happy? – 47:20 How does journaling help you find the one thing you need in order to be happy? How do the “masks” we wear prevent us from achieving our dreams? How do you identify the masks you wear around different people so you can understand where your road blocks are between you and your potential? Journaling is a powerful practice that helps bring clarity and understanding to even the most confusing of inner voices. It just takes a few simple steps to start living an empowered life, starting with choosing a pen, grabbing a notebook or opening an app, and selecting a prompt that works for you. Although self-development is often a bumpy road, Ceri's journal can help you navigate it more easily and string those bumps together into mountains of success and joy for your future. Don’t let the intimidating thought of taking that first step prevent you from reaping its rewards. You deserve to be authentic, so set aside some time today for self-reflection and overthinking prevention—start journaling now! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your  dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover leadership, relationship building, and feedback with Brett Crozier. Brett graduated from the United States Naval Academy, served as the Commanding Officer of a combat F/A-18 strike fighter squadron, the world’s largest and most advanced communications ship USS Blue Ridge, and the aircraft carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt before retiring from the Navy in 2022. Brett is the author of Surf When You Can: Lessons in Life, Loyalty, and Leadership from a Maverick Navy Captain.   On this episode of The Art of Charm, we interview Brett Crozier, retired Captain of the US Navy and former Commanding Officer of the USS Roosevelt. We dive into the importance of teamwork and leadership in implementing successful missions and running a floating city. Brett shares his experiences launching fighter jets and navigating the challenges of COVID-19 on the Roosevelt. He also provides valuable insights on building relationships and feedback mechanisms as a leader.  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why has surfing always been important to Brett? What goals did Brett have when he first entered the Naval Academy? How did Brett’s fighter pilot experience influence his leadership abilities? Building Trust Cross Culturally – 10:08 How do you build trust with someone from a different culture? Why are sports important to building relationships in structures of hierarchy? Relying on Instincts When Training isn’t Enough – 23:47  What do you do when you encounter a situation that wasn’t covered in class or training? How do you make sure you get quality feedback from the people who matter? What two traits do you need to develop to be an effective leader? Navy Captain Sends Email, Gets Fired – 37:55 Why did Brett Crozier lose his position as Captain of an aircraft carrier when COVID started? Leadership is more than simply a position of authority; it's an opportunity to build relationships, bridge divides, and promote safe and healthy practices. From this discussion we can take away valuable lessons for not only overcoming challenges but also directing a team towards sustainable success. We can treat each situation as an opportunity to learn, grow, and build meaningful connections while developing skills that will aid us when leading others anywhere be it at home or work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your  dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover how to become the super connector everyone wants to know.    Super Connectors aren't born with some special talent. By understanding what others value from a connection, focusing on how each person can help the other rather than focusing on what's in it for themselves, and making sure all interactions leave both parties feeling inspired and motivated, super connectors make invaluable connections that open doors to success. In this episode we explore what makes a successful super connector as well as simple steps to get on track towards becoming one yourself. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Adam Grant and the Secret to Effective Networking – 3:35 How do you amplify your social capital and build a high value network in five minutes? What is the secret to making your networking efforts more effective? Super Connector Toolbox – 28:40  What is the best way to introduce two people you think will benefit from knowing each other? What’s the best way to follow up with someone you meet at a networking event? Keith Ferrazzi and Upgrading Acquaintances to Friends – 36:50 What are the 8 attributes of a high performing relationship? How do you turn an acquaintance into a lifelong friend? Building a high value network and amplifying your social capital need not be a long, drawn out process. Just five minutes a day can go a long way in making your connections more valuable and meaningful. Start by introducing two people that you think could benefit from knowing each other, as this is a great way to get the ball rolling. Following up with someone soon after meeting them at an event is important to foster a new relationship. Connecting on an emotional level, being sincere, and sharing your knowledge are all essential pieces for creating strong bonds with others.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your  dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover how patterns from your childhood impact your current relationships with Vienna Pharaon. Vienna is a licensed family and marriage therapist, the author of the national bestseller The Origins of You: How Breaking Family Patterns Can Liberate the Way We Live and Love,   We all have behaviors that help and hurt us, but the behaviors that hurt us aren’t always obvious, so what can you do to identify the behavioral patterns that negatively impact your life and relationships and what can you do to overcome them so you can build confidence and long-lasting fulfilling relationships? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do our childhood experiences create patterns in our relationships, behavior, and communication? Identifying old wounds you don’t know about – 14:40 What are the obvious signs you have detrimental thought patterns left over from your childhood that are negatively impacting your relationships today? How do you stop dating people who aren’t good for you? Breaking patterns and healing old wounds – 29:00  What steps can you take to break harmful patterns in yourself and heal the wounds that cause the patterns to keep repeating? The value of grief – 39:50 What is grief exactly and why is it important to feel and process grief when we experience it? How does dealing with your grief improve your relationships and prevent them from failing? Breaking childhood patterns is something that can take time, but it is an important step for anyone in order to create relationships that are healthy and fulfilling. Whether you are trying to build healthier relationships with friends or a romantic partner, understanding your family system is key. Taking a closer look at the childhood patterns that show up in adult life can provide insight into how we interact with others and sabotage our social and romantic relationships. By implementing the four-step process laid out in this episode, you can start breaking these patterns today, pivot in directions that bring joy and confidence, and create more dynamic relationships as a result of it. After working through this process, you will be empowered by the new-found understanding of what brought you to your current reality - giving yourself permission to make different choices going forward will reward you mentally and affirmingly for many years to come. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your  dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover dating and building attraction effortlessly with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael Herold. Technology has made it easier than ever to stay connected, so why are we dealing with a pandemic of loneliness and what can you do to lift yourself out of it and create a vibrant social life? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Does the pandemic of loneliness affect men or women more and what can we do about it? What 3 areas in your life is technology hindering you the most and what can you do to develop them, unlocking your true potential? Go from Ordinary to Extraordinary – 13:02 What can you do to be extraordinary and remain authentic to who you are? How do you learn to be funnier and more charming? Building Rock Solid Confidence – 25:35  How do you build confidence and why do you need to work on it in order to maintain it? All Men Need a Vibrant Social Life – 35:23 Why is it important to have a vibrant social circle if you want to find a quality romantic partner? How do you build a social life women will be excited to be a part of? Loneliness affects us all. To conquer this sadness we need to work on ourselves and embrace technology but also find ways to have genuine human interactions. Begin by building confidence which comes from pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, openly expressing your feelings and striving to be the best version of yourself. Socializing with others is also essential for living a fulfilled life, as it helps you build connections and find prospective romantic partners. By being authentic, striving for excellence and working on self-improvement you can become an extraordinary individual while also valuing companionship without disregarding your independence. Start making connections today that will help you release the pandemic of loneliness in your life and boost your chances of living an enriching life full of quality relationships! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your  dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover the importance of improvising with Kelly Leonard. Kelly's career in the theater industry began by accident. He was hired as a dishwasher at Second City in Chicago, where he met John Favreau. He realized improv was not magic, but a skill that could be practiced and applied in business, parenting, and relationships. Kelly established himself as an executive producer for Second City, coordinating performances for generations of comics, actors, and writers. Kelly has written a book, "Yes, And," outlining how he believes the core principles behind improvisation can be applied to spark and drive collaboration. In this episode of The Art of Charm, we explore the world of improvisation and its many benefits in communication, comedy, and creativity. From empathy and collaboration to resilience through failure, our guest speaker shares his experiences using improv to navigate ambiguity and uncertainty. We discuss the importance of listening, reframing, and storytelling, as well as the concept of post traumatic growth.  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How did Kelly Leonard get started in improv? Why is improv important for innovation? The Core Principles of Improv – 10:58 What are the core principles of improv and why do they apply to many areas of life? How do you lead a healthy conversation with someone you disagree with? The Magic of Mistakes – 24:02  How do we leverage mistakes to create success or make progress toward your goals? What simple exercise can you use to reframe negative events in your life to be positive? Creating Comedy – 42:30 How do you formally create comedy? How do you give status to people you’re talking to? What simple tool can you start using today to make conversations easier, engaging, and more fun for anyone involved? Many of us are familiar with improv comedy but did you know the principles of improv can be used in business, parenting, and relationships? Every time you have a conversation with someone, you are improvising because you can’t predict what the other person will say and so you must improvise every time the other person responds to something you say. The best conversations are fluid and dynamic, making both people feel comfortable and natural. But to be good at improvising, you must practice it just like you would any other skill.  Resources from this Episode Yes, And: How Improvisation Reverses "No, But" Thinking and Improves Creativity and Collaboration by Kelly Leonard Kelly Leonard on Twitter Second City’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. In today’s episode, we cover harnessing the five senses to level up your life with Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen is an author and speaker who discovered the power of connecting with the five senses. After a visit to the eye doctor, where she learned she was at risk of losing her vision, she realized how much she took her senses for granted. Her epiphany led her to explore how we can use our senses to be happier and more fulfilled. Gretchen now shares her insights on how to pump up, calm down, get focused, get creative, and connect with others by tapping into the power of the five senses. On this episode of The Art of Charm, we delve into the fascinating topic of how our senses shape our perception of the world around us. We learn that while preferences for taste are innate, preferences for smells are learned associations that vary by culture and personal experience. We explore how we can use our senses to improve our well-being, including listening better, using touch to calm anxiety, and substituting sensory stimulation to curb unhealthy snacking habits.  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why do we prefer certain senses (touch, taste, smell, sound, sight) over others and how do we tune into our neglected senses to get more out of life? How do our senses help connect us with other people? How your culture influences your five senses – 16:01 How does the culture you grow up in influence the way you perceive the world through your senses? How do you use your senses to make time slow down so life doesn’t fly by so quickly? Nurture neglected senses to get more out of life – 23:58  What simple exercise can you do to make everyday experiences feel new and exciting again? Use your senses to conquer weaknesses – 31:22 How can you tap into your five senses to overcome cravings for unhealthy foods? How do you use your sense of touch to overcome anxiety? Delve into the fascinating topic of how our senses shape our perception of the world around us. While preferences for taste are innate, preferences for smells are learned associations that vary by culture and personal experience. We can use our senses to improve our well-being, including listening better, using touch to feel calm, and substituting sensory stimulation to curb unhealthy snacking habits. We also delve into the power of our brains to recognize faces and the challenges of navigating open-plan offices. Tune in for a thought-provoking discussion on the role of our senses in our daily lives. A Word From Our Sponsors Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle? We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Gretchen Rubin’s website Gretchen Rubin | Happiness and the Four Tendencies Life in Five Senses: How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and Into the World by Gretchen Rubin Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your  dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover the most valuable lessons Navy SEALS have shared with us over the years. Navy SEALS are some of the toughest guys on the planet, so what can they teach you about motivation, overcoming your deepest fears, rising to be the best leader you can be, and setting goals to help you achieve your dreams and unlock your potential?    What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 David Goggins – 3:28 How did David Goggins find the strength and motivation to unlock his potential and overcome all of his limiting beliefs? What helped David Goggins pull off superhuman feats like running over 70 ultra-distance races and doing 4000 pull ups in 17 hours?  Rich Diviney – 21:30  What’s the difference between anxiety and insecurity and what can you do to overcome both? What can you do to feel more confident about the present and your future? Why do we feel fear and what can you do to overcome your fears so you can unlock your potential? How do you become a better leader? Dan Luna – 47:25 What can you learn about goal setting from a Navy SEAL so you can achieve your wildest dreams? How do you stop being so hard on yourself? True confidence comes from knowing you can perform no matter what the environment is like around you. Fear is a combination of uncertainty and anxiety, but you can control both by asking yourself what you can control in the moment and taking action towards it. Exposure to fear helps train your brain to step through fear and get less afraid. Developing our attributes takes self-motivation, self-direction, and a willingness to step into discomfort and uncertainty. And remember, practicing stepping into fears can lead to greater confidence and resilience.  Resources from this Episode Master Your Mindset with David Goggins (Episode 730) Rich Diviney | 5 Navy Seal Attributes To Annihilate Any Obstacle 5 Tips To Lead Like A Navy SEAL In Any Setting | Dan Luna Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your  dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover self development and acceptance commitment therapy with Art of Charm alumnus Nishant Patel. Nishant went through the Art of Charm bootcamp 15 years ago and went on to become a successful practitioner of Acceptance Commitment Therapy. The stories we tell ourselves define how we see the world and interact with the people around us, so what are these stories we tell, how do you tell if they’re helping or hindering you, and how do you tell yourself better stories to achieve your dream life?    What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How did the pickup era start? Why was the Art of Charm started?  The origin of self-development for men – 11:49 Why do men get into self-development? What is life like after an Art of Charm bootcamp?  How do humans see the world? – 28:06  What stories do we tell ourselves that shape how we live in this world and interact with other people? How do you learn to be better at life? Why should you meditate? – 43:22 What is meditation and how can it reduce your suffering? What are the 4 practical benefits of meditation that will change your life?   We are gifted powerful minds as humans but without any documentation to explain how to use them. Self-development acts as a manual to understand and leverage the minds we are given. Men often find their way into self-development through dating because in order to have success in the world of dating, men need to be high value to consistently attract women. And becoming high value takes a lot of work. Self-development allows us to understand who we are and what we need to do to get to where we want to be. A Word From Our Sponsors Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode The Art of Charm Bootcamp The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz The Voice of Knowledge: A Practical Guide to Inner Peace by Don Miguel Ruiz The Work of Byron Katie Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your  dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm.  Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover breakups with AJ, Johnny, and Michael Herold.  Breakups are painful whether you’re breaking up with someone or being broken up with, so what is the best way to handle a breakup, what is the worst thing you can do after a breakup, and what can you do to stand out in a sea of unlimited options when you start dating again? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What damage is hookup culture doing to you and the people around you? What is the worst thing you can do after a breakup? What is the best way to handle a breakup? Rejection can cause anger and lower IQ – 13:35 How does rejection affect your mental state? What can you do to overcome your fear of rejection and start dating the people you’re attracted to? Stand Out in the Modern Dating Market – 25:21  What steps do you need to take to stand out from the crowd in a dating market of unlimited options? How do you spark attraction on the first date? What are some ways to effectively build a social circle? Core Values and Dating – 40:13 Why do you need to identify your core values to be successful in dating and what can you do to figure out what your core values are? How do you build a weekly routine that filters in high quality dating prospects? Explore the ups and downs of dating in today's world! We dive deep into the pain of rejection and what it does to our brains, as well as the damage caused by breakups. We also discuss the best ways to build a successful social life and the importance of physical self-care. Join us as we share tips on how to stand out in a world with unlimited options and how to improve your online dating profile. We also touch on the power of weak ties and how they could be the key to finding your perfect match.  Resources from this Episode The Art of Charm Bootcamp Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. In today’s episode, we cover happiness and fulfillment with Prince Ea. Prince Ea grew up as a shy, introverted kid who discovered conscious hip hop in high school and was inspired to make music to educate others like the rappers he admired did for him. He pursued a career in hip hop but found himself constantly comparing and competing with other artists which led him to question the meaning of happiness. He stopped rapping and began reading books on Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, and psychotherapy to find the answer. He found that happiness is inside all of us and began sharing his insights through poetry and informative content. He continues to be the change he wants to see in the world and helps others find peace in their own lives. The journey to find fulfillment in life is filled with obstacles and distractions, so what can you do to overcome them, what resources can you use to find happiness and fulfillment, and how can you know who to bring with you on your journey so they don’t hold you back? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What advantages does being shy grant you over people who are extroverted? How do you avoid the comparison trap of social media so you don’t get lost in beating yourself up over not doing or having enough? Failure and Self-Criticism – 12:48 How do you view failure so you don’t bogged down when something you create doesn’t have the reception or impact you thought it would? What can you do to be more patient? Maximize the Value You Take From Books – 23:06  How do you approach a book to get the most value out of it? What can you do to unlock your inner confidence and create lasting changes in your life? Filtering People In and Out of Your Life – 32:28 How do you know who to allow into your life and who to remove from your life? We explore stories of self-discovery and inner growth, ranging from the importance of self-love to the power of books and the pivotal role of relationships in our lives. We hear about a rapper's journey to finding peace, the value of prioritizing one's own world, and how comparing oneself to others online can lead to a trap. Additionally, we take a closer look at the significance of friendships, how to find a tribe that aligns with our energy, and the role language plays in our relationships. Tune in for insights and tips to cultivate personal growth and create a more fulfilling life. A Word From Our Sponsors Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle? We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Prince Ea’s YouTube channel Prince Ea on Instagram Prince Ea on Twitter Prince Ea’s website The Mood Cure: The 4-Step Program to Take Charge of Your Emotions--Today Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. In today’s episode, we cover the myth of normal with Gabor Mate. Gabor is a renowned physician and author who has dedicated his life to exploring the themes of health, normality, and mental health. With a background in medicine, Gabor challenges existing norms and values, advocating for a world in which our practices reflect the true needs of individuals and society. He has written a number of books, including his best-selling work The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture, in which he questions traditional ideas of what is normal and challenges readers to think critically about our assumptions. Modern society is rewarding us for unhealthy behavior and punishing us for healthy behavior, but how did this come to be, how is it affecting you and everyone you care about, and what steps can you take to protect yourself and your loved ones? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the myth of normal? How has culture become toxic to the human condition? Why is being nice harmful to your mental health? Modern culture is destroying parent-child relationships – 15:37 How does modern culture erode a child’s ability to form bonds with their parents and what can you do ensure you have a healthy relationship with your kids? Why do we feel the need to escape reality and pursue virtual relationships and virtual experiences? What is trauma? – 25:11  How do we misuse the word “trauma” and how does it lead us to ignore serious problems in our relationships? What can you do to heal your trauma so it stops harming you and your relationships? Can we use anger to heal? – 35:40 Why is anger important for self-respect and feeling good about yourself and what is the difference between unhealthy and healthy anger? What 5 steps can you take to overcome your limiting beliefs so you can unlock your potential and achieve your dreams? What does it mean to be “normal” in a society where normal behavior seems increasingly harmful to our health and relationships? All the time we spend inside, alone, and on devices is not doing us any favors. But how did this happen? What pushed humans to develop lifestyles that are making us unhappy and unhealthy? It starts with the parents and how we have structured our lives to promote relationships that don’t serve us, discourage healthy expression of our emotions and boundary setting.  A Word From Our Sponsors Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle? After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks. We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture by Gabor Mate Gabor Mate’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. In today’s episode, we cover how to forge a thriving life with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael.  We are at war with the modern world when it comes to leading lives of satisfaction and fulfillment because technology and society are pushing us to be depressed and isolated, so how do you overcome it, what can you do to build a thriving social life, and how do you determine a mission that keeps you focused and driven? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the key to health, wellness, and success in the modern world? Navigating daily life, office politics, and media can lead to feeling isolated – 10:23 How is the modern world pushing us to isolate and how do you overcome it so you don’t end up sad and lonely? How to build a new social circle – 21:11  Where do you start if you want to create an exciting social life? What do we use to add value to peoples’ lives and enrich the relationships in our lives so people value us and want to spend time with us? How do you reconnect with old friends? Define your mission to attract high value connections – 31:32 Why is it important to spend time figuring out one's mission and becoming mission-driven, and how do you figure out what your mission is? How do you create a high value network so you never worry about being lonely, unemployed, or single? Building relationships is key to success in many areas, including the workplace, and cannot be replaced by hard work alone. And despite external factors such as nepotism and favoritism playing a role in success, building social capital in the form of value you can add to the relationships in your life is key. This episode offers strategies and frameworks for reconnecting with old relationships that have drifted away, including reaching out and inviting people into one's life. Find and connect with people who share similar goals and mindsets. Tune in to this episode for insights on building momentum in life through a high-value network and community.  A Word From Our Sponsors Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle? You are one relationship away from changing your entire life. Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career. But there’s something you can do about it. After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks. We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode The Harvard Happiness Study & What it Takes to Be Socially Fit | Dr. Robert Waldinger | AOC Podcast Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. In today’s episode, we cover magic words and the impact of language with Jonah Berger. Jonah is a Wharton School professor, an expert on natural language processing, influence, and consumer behavior, and is the internationally bestselling author of Magic Words, Contagious, Invisible Influence, and The Catalyst. Questions are the key to connecting with the people around you, so what kinds of questions should you ask when getting to know someone, what questions should you avoid, and how can you word questions in a way to get people to do what you want them to do? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why are questions so powerful when talking to people? What kind of question should you ask if you want other people to like you or perceive you better? What should you say if someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer? Questions that Push People Out and Pull People In – 14:53 What questions do we ask that put people on the defensive and how do we reword the same questions to get the answers we actually want? What questions can you ask to turn strangers into friends? How many questions can you ask before a conversation gets uncomfortable? Identity and Agency Questions – 26:29  What questions can you ask to motivate people to take the action you want them to take? How do many of us use self-talk the wrong way and how does it sabotage our goals and dreams?  What is hedging and how does hedging make us seem less confident? When we use questions as tools, they become powerful. They can build bridges or break them; it's up to us to decide which kind of question we want to use. If you want other people to like you and view you better, the best type of question should be open-ended, positive and interesting. Avoid questions that put people on the defensive and instead choose phrases that invoke thought and curiosity. Asking questions to strangers is a great way to get them interested in knowing more about you and forming new relationships.  A Word From Our Sponsors Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle? You are one relationship away from changing your entire life. Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career. But there’s something you can do about it. After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks. We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Jonah Berger’s website Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way by Jonah Berger Jonah Berger | The Art of Persuasion | AOC Podcast  Jonah Berger | Invisible Influence | AOC Podcast BetterHelp Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. In today’s episode, we cover anger and compassion with Russell Kolts, PhD. Russell is Professor of Psychology at Eastern Washington University, an internationally recognized trainer in compassion-focused therapy (CFT), a TedX speaker, and the author of several books on compassion-focused therapy including CFT Made Simple: A Clinician's Guide to Practicing Compassion-Focused Therapy and Buddhist Psychology and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: A Clinician's Guide. Many men struggle with anger, especially today because society condemns the emotion, so what does it mean to express anger in healthy ways vs unhealthy ways, what can you do to manage your anger effectively, and how can you use self-compassion to ensure your anger doesn’t destroy your relationships? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the biggest misconceptions around compassion and why is compassion important to your ability to dominate life with finesse and courage? Is it bad to use anger as fuel for action and growth? How to Manage Anger – 12:40 What exercise can you implement today to make sure you don’t blow up at someone you care about the next time they make you angry? The worst way to resolve conflict – 22:46  How do you handle conflict and arguments when your anger feels overwhelming? How do you manage shame effectively? Why is a problem solving approach problematic in relationship conflicts? Tools for Building Self Compassion – 41:20  What 2 questions can you ask yourself to develop self compassion so you can be as patient and understanding with yourself as you are with the people you care about?  Self compassion doesn’t come naturally, especially for men, but it’s crucial for not allowing anger to control us. Also, it’s important to recognize the difference between using anger for positive things like motivation for taking action or problem solving versus letting anger consume us. It takes awareness, intention, and practice to be able to show the same compassion to yourself as you do the people you care about. When done effectively, showing compassion can transform any kind of hostile situation into something more meaningful, both in relationships you’re part of and in life in general.  A Word From Our Sponsors Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle? After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks. We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Anger, Compassion, and What It Means To Be Strong | TEDxOlympia Russell Kolts on Twitter CFT Made Simple: A Clinician's Guide to Practicing Compassion-Focused Therapy Buddhist Psychology and Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: A Clinician's Guide BetterHelp Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover self mastery with Connor Beaton. Connor is the founder of ManTalks, a TEDx speaker, runs a top ranked podcast called ManTalks, and is the author of Men's Work: A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom.  We are facing a crisis of masculinity, so what can we learn from other cultures when it comes to helping and encouraging boys to become responsible and powerful men, why is it important for men to have strong friendships with other men, and what are modern men missing that lead them to fail in relationships? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why are initiation rituals important for men and what price is society paying for not having initiation rituals? Why do men abuse power and what can we do to prepare our sons so they don’t abuse power when they become men? Initiation Rituals – 10:56 Why do cultures across the planet use initiation rituals for young boys to enter into manhood? How does your self-talk hold you back from being the person you want to be and how do you improve it? Why is it important to have groups solely for men to be men and talk about men’s issues? Men and Self Development – 26:14  What is the most important thing men should focus on to achieve and maintain their happiness and fulfillment in life? The Secret to Non-Neediness in Relationships – 40:05  What are men lacking in their lives that lead them to be needy in romantic relationships, causing those relationships to fall apart? Initiation rituals have been used throughout history to help transition young boys into manhood. These rites of passage can teach us many things, but the most salient theme that remains is the need for men to face failure and powerlessness so as to enter manhood with a strong sense of self and humility. With positive self-talk we can stop ourselves from believing any false disclosures we face and learn how to think positively and productively. It is also important that men find male-only spaces where they can be men and talk about their issues.  A Word From Our Sponsors Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle? You are one relationship away from changing your entire life. Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career. But there’s something you can do about it. We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Men's Work: A Practical Guide to Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, and Find Freedom by Connor Beaton Connor Beaton’s website Connor Beaton on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the unsold mindset with Colin Goggins and Garrett Brown. Colin and Garrett are sales leaders, teachers of the popular USC course Sales Mindset for Entrepreneurs, co-founders of Agency18, keynote speakers and guest lecturers, and the authors of The Unsold Mindset: Redefining What It Means to Sell. Sales can be brutal if you don’t have the right mindset, so what makes the best salespeople so great, what is the one quality you should express in every interaction with a potential customer, and how do you build resilience to push through all the rejection?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What makes for a great salesperson and why don’t the best salespeople consider themselves to be salespeople? Transformational vs Transactional Sales – 22:10 What is the difference between transformational and transactional sales and which one do customers prefer? Why is it a strength to be intentionally ignorant when meeting/speaking with customers? What is the most important quality you can express when interacting with a potential customer? Rejection and Resiliency – 34:18  What can you do to build resilience in sales so you don’t get hung up on rejection? What is the difference between toxic positivity and pathological optimism and why is one off putting while the other is necessary to accomplish great things? Goal Setting – 56:32  How should you view and set goals so they help you rather than hinder you? How do you find a meaningful purpose in your work when you feel your work is meaningless? Salespeople are great connectors, and success in sales not only takes hard work but also the right mindset. Building resilience is key to sustaining energy in sales, so techniques like positive self-talk are incredibly important. By setting achievable goals and adopting motivation techniques like vision boards, you’ll be able to tackle any challenges that arise in the workplace. Attitude is everything when it comes to finding purpose and passion in your work; no matter how mundane it may seem, every task can bring joy and meaning if you choose to make it worthwhile.  A Word From Our Sponsors Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle? You are one relationship away from changing your entire life. We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode The Unsold Mindset: Redefining What It Means to Sell by Colin Coggins, Garrett Brown Colin and Garrett’s website Colin and Garrett on Twitter Colin and Garrett on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the science of subtraction with Leidy Klotz. Leidy studies the science of design, his research has appeared in both Nature and Science, and his book, Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less, was ranked as one of the most influential titles in the fields of design and behavioral science. As humans, we gravitate toward acquiring things and activities to add value to our lives, but many times we can add value to our lives by removing things from it—why is our biology working against us, how can you determine what to subtract from your life, and how do you get your family, friends, and coworkers on board? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How can you make your life more fulfilling by removing things from your life? Why does our biology prime us to add things to our life even if those things don’t enrich our lives? Reduce Distractions to Increase Fulfillment – 16:28 What questions can you ask to determine what you should remove from your life to improve your life? What pushes you to add unnecessary things to your life – 31:53  What are the forces around you that are always nudging you to add things to your life that end up unnecessarily complicating your life? Getting people on board with the concept of subtraction – 44:40  What can you say to people to convince them that removing things from their lives will improve their lives? Many of us go through life without taking the time to analyze what brings value to our lives and what doesn’t. Our biology drives us to seek out things that we think will make us happy but often those things don’t actually bring long-term fulfillment. Consider evaluating what you have in your life and see if there are any areas where you could declutter your life for more contentment, or to free up time to focus on the things that do bring value to your life. When was the last time you took inventory of your life and considered ways you could simplify?  A Word From Our Sponsors Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle? You are one relationship away from changing your entire life. Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career. But there’s something you can do about it. We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Additional Sponsors: Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charm Hello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65 Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charm NextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charm Resources from this Episode Leidy Klotz’s website Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less by Leidy Klotz Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover fun with Mike Rucker. Mike is an organizational psychologist, behavioral scientist, recovering entrepreneur, and the author of The Fun Habit: How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life. The pursuit of pleasure has been beaten into us as an unhealthy one by many thought leaders throughout history, but what role do fun and leisure play in increasing our productivity, how can you leverage pleasure to make daily work more enjoyable, and what can you do to create more space in your day for pleasurable activities if you find yourself burning out on work? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How does focusing on happiness lead to rumination and depression?  Hedonic Flexibility Principle – 16:02 What role do fun and leisure play in maximizing productivity and life satisfaction? How important is it to take a sabbatical periodically to recharge and regain a healthy focus on life and work? Activity Bundling – 34:03  What can you do to add fun and pleasure to your daily activities to make them more enjoyable and thus encourage you to do them better? Creating Options for Fun in Your Life – 43:28  What little decisions can you make everyday to make your life more fulfilling? What simple framework can you use to create space in your life to integrate more fun activities and decrease the number of soul-sucking activities? It is evident that happiness does not necessarily lie in big accomplishments or major life changes, but rather in the small choices we make each day. When we focus on making those choices fun and enjoyable, we are more likely to stick with them and see lasting results. What are some small decisions you can make today to add a little bit of fun and pleasure to your daily routine? A Word From Our Sponsors Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle? You are one relationship away from changing your entire life. Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career. But there’s something you can do about it. After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks. We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Additional Sponsors: Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charm Hello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65 Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charm NextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charm Resources from this Episode The Fun Habit: How the Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life Mike Rucker’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover peak performance aging with Steven Kotler. Steven is one of the world’s leading experts on human performance, an award-winning journalist, and is a New York Times bestselling author of 11 bestsellers including The Art of Impossible, The Future is Faster Than You Think, Stealing Fire, The Rise of Superman, and Bold and Abundance, and his newest book, Gnar Country: Growing Old, Staying Rad. Aging gets a bad rep because many people don’t age gracefully, but you don’t have to be one of those many—so what is it about aging that makes us feel old, what is the key to maintaining your youth into old age, and what is the secret to excelling at new skills no matter how old you are? A Word From Our Sponsors: Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charm Hello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65 Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charm NextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charm Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the four horsemen of relationship dynamics with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael.  We all encounter four dynamics in our personal and professional relationships, so what are they, what is the best way to approach each one to minimize conflict, and in the case of conflict, what makes for the best and worst apologies? What to Listen For The Four Horsemen of Relationship Dynamics: Criticism – 0:00 What are the four primary relationship dynamics? What’s the best way to handle criticism in a relationship? How do you effectively give criticism in a relationship without angering or upsetting your partner? Defensiveness – 15:35 What are the 3 ways defensiveness shows up in relationships and how should you approach each one? What is the worst kind of apology? What makes a good apology? Stonewalling – 27:42  What is stonewalling and why does it do so much damage to relationships? What is the best way to handle a friend or partner who stonewalls in response to potential arguments? The Final Straw: Contempt – 44:14  What is the best predictor of divorce? Why do you start feeling contempt for your partner? What strategies can you use to break the cycle of feeling contempt for someone?  Nobody likes feeling criticized, but it’s an unavoidable part of every relationship and we have to know how to give and receive criticism effectively in order to grow. The key is to learn how to give criticism in a way that doesn’t damage your relationship or make your partner feel defensive. If you can learn how to recognize and manage stonewalling, defensiveness, and contempt, you’ll be on the right track to maintaining a happy and healthy relationship with your partner, friends, family, and coworkers.  A Word From Our Sponsors Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle? You are one relationship away from changing your entire life. Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career. But there’s something you can do about it. After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks. We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Additional Sponsors: Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charm Hello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65 Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charm NextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charm Resources from this Episode The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover chasing your dreams with Ben Nemtin. Ben is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, co-founder of The Buried Life movement, and inspirational keynote speaker who has delivered over 500 keynotes to brands and Fortune 500 companies. Introduction It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and forget about all the things we want to accomplish in life, so what can you do to create a bucket list that excites you, surround yourself with people who encourage you to chase your dreams, and share the bucket list in such a way that fires you up and motivates you? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How did The Buried Life tv show get started? Discomfort Means Growth – 13:36 What are the 3 kinds of people around you who will encourage or discourage you from chasing your dreams? How do you find people who will support you in accomplishing your goals and dreams? Creating the Best Bucket List – 25:46  What’s the best way to create a bucket list to accomplish all the things you want to in life? What should you avoid when planning your bucket list to make sure you actually get your bucket list done? The Power of Sharing Your Bucket List – 40:14  Why does sharing your bucket list and talking about what’s on your bucket list make it easier for you tackle it? A Word From Our Sponsors Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle? You are one relationship away from changing your entire life. Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career. But there’s something you can do about it. After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks. We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode The Bucket List Journal Ben Nemtin’s website Ben Nemtin on Instagram The Buried Life Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover quitting with Annie Duke. Annie is a national best-selling author, former professional poker player, corporate speaker, and consultant in the decision-making space, as well as Special Partner focused on Decision Science at First Round Capital Partners, a seed stage venture fund. Annie’s latest book is Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away.  Quitting has acquired a bad reputation in a culture of grit and hustle, but even the most successful people quit things they’re working on frequently, so what is stopping you from quitting a failing project or relationship, and what questions can you ask yourself and others to determine when the right time to quit is? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why is knowing to quit just as important as grit and determination? How do you know when to quit? – 14:58 Why do many of us quit things too late and waste valuable time that we could be spending on the next success? What are some great examples of people making the right decision to quit? Opportunity Cost Neglect – 33:26 What is the blindspot that keeps us from quitting at the right time? What happened to the game Glitch before Slack was created? How do you break the Sunk Cost Neglect cycle so you stop wasting your time? Other Biases and Blindspots – 44:30 What is Escalation of Commitment? What is the Status Quo Bias? What is the Omission Comission Bias? The Questions to Determine When You Need to Quit – 1:01:20 After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks. We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! A Word From Our Sponsors: Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charm Hello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65 Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charm NextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charm Resources from this Episode Annie Duke | The Secret Ingredient to Making the RIGHT Decision When It Really Matters Quit: The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away by Annie Duke Annie Duke’s website Alliance for Decision Education After School All Stars Renew Democracy Initiative Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover happiness with Dr. Robert Waldinger. Bob is the director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, a 75-year-long Harvard study of adult life, and the co-author of The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness. Our social fitness was shaken over the last few years thanks to the lockdown, so what can we use from the longest study on happiness to improve our social fitness and rebuild lost relationships? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How did the “Harvard Happiness Study” come about? What is the Harvard Study of Adult Development and how did it start? Social Fitness – 13:01 What is social fitness and how did the pandemic affect your social fitness? The Biggest Motivation for Self Development – 24:18 What gives you the greatest motivation to improve your life? What is the secret to happiness and how do you implement it at any age? How do you make new friends? – 37:11 What should you say when you want to reconnect with someone? How to stop feeling lonely? How do you start a conversation with a coworker? What are unhappy marriages missing? – 46:00 How do happy couples stay happy forever and how can you implement in your relationship? The Harvard Study of Adult Development turned out to be the longest running study about what makes people happy. Considering the increase in mental health issues and loneliness that we experienced over the last few years, the wisdom learned from the study has the potential to help us recover our pre-pandemic social fitness and get back enjoying life again. A Word From Our Sponsors Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle? You are one relationship away from changing your entire life. Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career. But there’s something you can do about it. After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are from referrals in our personal networks. We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Additional Sponsors: Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charm Hello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65 Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charm NextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charm Resources from this Episode Harvard Study of Adult Development website The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study on Happiness Dr. Robert Waldinger’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover money and love with Abby Davisson. Abby is a social innovation leader and career development expert, was the president of the Gap Foundation at Gap Inc and a senior leader on the Environmental, Social & Governance team, and is the co-author of Money and Love: An Intelligent Roadmap for Life's Biggest Decisions.  Making big decisions in relationships can be intimidating, so what frameworks and strategies can you use to simplify the decision making process and how should you handle conversations around money and having kids with your partner? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What proven framework should you use to approach major decisions about money and love in relationships? Thinking about Consequences of Making Big Decisions – 19:06 How should you think about the consequences of decision making? How do you know if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone? Relationship Compatibility – 29:26 How can you find out if you are compatible with your partner in the long term? How do you approach the conversation of having kids with someone you just married? Divorce and Money – 48:30 How should you approach the conversation around money when you’re thinking about getting married? Making major decisions about relationships can be daunting, but if you break it down with a framework and consider all of the potential consequences with regular communication, it becomes much easier. Money is a major factor to consider when getting married because it can cause a lot of arguments and stress in a relationship, to the point that it is one of the most common reasons people state when getting divorced. If you approach these conversations openly and honestly with your partner, you will be able to make the best decision for both of you. Are you ready to take your career to the next level in 2023? Looking to grow your high-value social circle? You are one relationship away from changing your entire life. Listen: your social circle, professional network, and lack of confidence are thwarting your attempts at accelerating your career. But there’s something you can do about it. After coaching over 10,000 clients including military special operators and Fortune 500 executives we’ve learned a thing or two about what it actually takes to grow your network. In fact, over 90% of the amazing guests on this show are referrals in our personal networks. We’ve packaged our best insights inside a course called, Social Capital. And, as a thank you for being a podcast listener, we want to give you this training for FREE to start 2023. To get your hands on this training and immediately start improving your relationships, go to theartofcharm.com/sc Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Additional Sponsors: Babbel - https://www.babbel.com/charm Hello Fresh - https://hellofresh.com/charm65 Athletic Greens - https://athleticgreens.com/charm NextEvo - https://nextevo.com/charm Resources from this Episode Abby Davisson’s website Money and Love: An Intelligent Roadmap for Life’s Biggest Decisions Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the Art of Charm’s best episodes from 2022 with AJ and Johnny.  Turbocharge your social skills going into 2023 with highlights from the best of the Art of Charm podcast in 2022! What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Avoid these Low Value Behaviors – 2:41 What 3 behaviors do you need to avoid if you want to attract high value friendships and relationships? Eye Contact for Different Situations – 16:34 How do you decide what kind of eye contact you should give in personal, professional, and romantic situations? Overcome Perfectionism – 19:22 What steps can you take to overcome perfectionism? What are the warning signs that perfectionism is controlling your life? Setting and Enforcing Boundaries – 28:22 How do you enforce boundaries you set with other people who keep violating your boundaries? Overcome Nice Guy Syndrome – 38:02 What are covert contracts and why do “nice guys” make them with people they meet? What is the biggest flaw of nice guys and how do you stop being a “nice guy” if you are one? The Infamous Awkward Pause – 45:17 How do you make awkward pauses into powerful pauses that command attention? What mistakes do most people make that kill their charisma? 2022 was a great year here at the Art of Charm. We hope you had a great year as well and wish you nothing but the best in 2023! See you next year! A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Avoid These 3 Low Value Behaviors (Toolbox) How To Read Body Language | Abbie Maroño Perfectionism: The Enemy Of Progress | Jennifer Kemp Build and Maintain Boundaries | Nedra Tawwab Overcoming Nice Guy Syndrome | Dr. Robert Glover How to Influence and Persuade People | Zoe Chance Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover social media with Dr. Nicholas Kardaras. Dr. Kardaras is an Ivy League educated psychologist, best-selling author, internationally renowned speaker and an expert on mental health, addiction, and the impacts of our digital age. Social media has gripped us by the neck with socially inept nerds calling the shots, so what exactly is going on, how is social media amplifying mental health issues, and what steps can we take to break social media addiction? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is a social media algorithm and why can they be dangerous to society? What is the Online Safety Act and how does it serve to protect us from algorithms on social media? The social world is engineered by the socially inept – 16:42 Why is there so much friction between what is going on in the real world and the virtual world? How does social media amplify mental health issues and pressure young people to imitate the mentally unwell? Who should we trust – 28:46 How do we know who to trust online and why is it risky to allow anyone to determine what is true and false? Are younger generations more fragile than older generations? Social media and depression – 41:46 How does social media use lead to depression? Does an easier or harder life lead to a more fulfilling and happy life? What practical steps can you take to deal with social media addiction? Social media algorithms are created with the intention of getting users to spend more time on a platform, but they can have harmful consequences. By curating content and limiting the exposure to certain views, social media platforms can create an echo chamber that amplifies mental health issues and leads young people to believe that imitating the mentally unwell is normal behavior. Social media use can lead to depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Dr. Nicholas Kardaras’s website Digital Madness: How Social Media Is Driving Our Mental Health Crisis--and How to Restore Our Sanity by Dr. Nicholas Kardaras Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover parenting and the CIA with Christina Hillsberg. Christina is a former CIA intelligence officer, writer, and recognized expert on women in espionage, intelligence tradecraft, and parenting, and the author of License to Parent:  Being a parent is hard enough already and now we have so much technology to worry about, so how do you teach your kids to build trust and to know who to trust, how do you properly regulate their access to video games and the internet, and how do you teach kids to recognize and avoid danger? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What should you study or work toward if you want to eventually work for the CIA or other intelligence agencies?  Teach kids to build relationships – 14:22 How do you teach your kids to deal with bullies in school? How do you build trust with your kids or stepkids? Dealing with kids and videogames – 30:30  How do you regulate the access to video games and the internet that your kids have to keep them safe? How do you teach your kids what information to trust online as well as who to trust online? Avoiding danger – 42:50  How do you teach your kids to avoid danger? What can you do to alleviate the worry and anxiety you feel as a parent? Raising kids in the digital age is a daunting task. It seems like every day we are faced with new challenges and questions about how to keep our children safe and help them grow into well-adjusted adults. But it’s important to remember that we aren’t alone in this struggle. There are plenty of resources available to us, both offline and online, and it’s important to make use of them all. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Christina Hillsberg’s website Christina Hillsberg on Instagram Christina Hillsberg on Twitter License to Parent: How My Career as a Spy Helped Me Raise Resourceful, Self-Sufficient Kids by Christina Hillsberg Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover leadership with John Bacon. John is an American journalist, a sports commentator on TV and radio, and author of books on sports and business including his latest best seller Let Them Lead: Unexpected Lessons in Leadership from America's Worst High School Hockey Team. Coaching a poor performing team to victory is no easy task, so what can you learn from a high school hockey coach who did just that, how high should you set expectations, and what can you do to set them up to lead themselves to success? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why did John Bacon decide to coach the worst high school hockey team in America and how did he take them from losers to champions? The Value of High Expectations – 15:15 Why is it important to set high expectations for your team? What does it mean to separate the behavior from the results and why is it important for you to understand if you want to be a great leader? Rules and Leadership – 30:18  What is the best approach to set rules and regulations as a leader and how can rules hurt your team’s performance? What’s the best way to deal with parents as a high school athletics coach? Questions, Questions, Questions – 42:10  How should you handle questions and concerns from your team to get the best out of them? How to allow your team to lead themselves to achieve their goals? Leaders should set high expectations for their team and give them the freedom to lead themselves. When team members know what is expected of them, they will be able to work more productively towards common goals. Giving your team the ability to find their own solutions and make decisions will help foster a sense of ownership and responsibility. This in turn can motivate team members to go above and beyond what is expected of them.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode John Bacon’s website Let Them Lead: Unexpected Lessons in Leadership from America's Worst High School Hockey Team John Bacon on twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover self-esteem with Dr. Steven Hayes. Steven Hayes is an American clinical psychologist and Nevada Foundation Professor at the University of Nevada, Reno Department of Psychology, where he is a faculty member in their Ph.D. program in behavior analysis, and the author nearly 670 scientific articles and 47 books including the best selling Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life.  The last couple of generations grew up in a world that focused on high self-esteem, but what exactly is self-esteem, why was it catastrophically wrong to focus on it, and what should you strive for when raising kids? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is self-esteem? Why is it dangerous to artificially inflate self-esteem? What is that critical voice you hear and how does it affect your self-esteem? What is confidence – 18:30 Why are many people who appear confident not? How does social media make it difficult for you to be self compassionate and stay true to yourself? Stop focusing on self-esteem – 30:20  Why is it catastrophic to focus on teaching kids to have a high self esteem? What can you do to develop your self-compassion to boost your confidence? Friends, values, and life fulfillment – 49:42  Why are values important and how do your friends influence your values for better or worse? Is too much self-compassion a bad thing? We’ve seen that it can be dangerous to artificially inflate self-esteem and that it is much more important to focus on teaching kids how to have a healthy self-compassion. When we develop our self-compassion, we become better equipped to stay true to ourselves, even when faced with difficult situations or negative feedback from others. With values clarification and by choosing friends who share our positive values, we can work together to encourage each other in living out our best selves.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life by Steven Hayes, Ph. D. Is Self Compassion More Important Than Self Esteem by Steven Hayes, Ph. D. Alex Banayan Episode Self-compassion protects against the negative effects of low self-esteem: A longitudinal study in a large adolescent sample by Sarah Marshall Steven Hayes TED Talk Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover becoming unstoppable with Michael Herold.  We all have the potential to achieve unstoppable confidence, but what are the 3 obstacles that stand in your way, what can you do to overcome them, and how do you identify your core values so you can find every day fulfilling? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the 3 obstacles you need to overcome to have unlimited confidence?  What can you do to separate yourself from your thoughts so they don’t get in the way of achieving your goals and dreams? What question can you ask yourself to instantly quiet your thoughts? Overcome negative emotions to achieve unstoppable confidence – 18:27 How do you overcome discomfort so you can get the most out of life? Why do we need to redefine happiness and what should the new definition be so we can pursue a more fulfilling existence? Find your core values –29:00  What are core values and why are they important for you to find for yourself if you want to live a rich and meaningful life? Why are goals overrated compared to living a life inline with your core values? What four ways can you use to identify your core values? There is a lot you can do to separate yourself from your thoughts and achieve your goals. You need to find what works for you, but some helpful tips are: be mindful of your thoughts, practice meditation or mindfulness, and write out your thoughts and goals regularly. Discomfort is a part of life, but it doesn’t have to stop you from achieving great things. In fact, it’s often through discomfort that we learn and grow the most. Core values are important because they provide a guide for how you want to live your life. They help us make decisions when we’re faced with difficult choices and help us stay on track when things get tough. Identifying your core values is an important step in finding meaning in life.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode The Art of Charm Instant Connection Kit Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the pursuit meaning and fulfillment with Yael Schonbrun. Yael is a clinical psychologist, assistant professor at Brown University, co-host of Psychologists Off the Clock, and the author of Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much).  The pursuit of meaning has taken a back seat in the last few decades and we’re paying the price, so what can you do to introduce more meaning into your life, how should you balance meaningful and pleasurable pursuits, and how can you you strengthen the relationships that already give you meaning? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Is it more fulfilling to be great at one role in life or divide your time between multiple roles? How should you balance the pursuits of meaning, pleasure, and purpose? Prioritizing the different roles in your life – 16:16 How do you determine which roles you should prioritize in your life when you have to take other people in your life into consideration? What should you do to preface regular one-on-one check-in conversations with your significant other and kids to strengthen the important relationships in your life? Strategies to Create Space for Strengthening Relationships – 29:40  What strategies can you implement on a weekly basis to make sure the relationships you care about don’t fall apart?  Adding for improvement vs subtraction for simplicity – 46:54 Should we prioritize adding things to our lives or subtracting things from our lives if we want to be happier and more fulfilled? It can be difficult to determine how to balance the different pursuits of meaning, pleasure, and purpose in our lives. We often have a lot of competing demands on our time and energy. But if we want to live happier and more fulfilling lives, it’s important that we take the time to figure out what’s most important to us and then put in the effort to make sure those things stay a priority. There is no one perfect answer for everyone – each individual will need to find what works best for them.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much) Dr. Yael Schonbrun | Dos and Don’ts of Modern Dating Dr. Yael Schonbrun on Twitter Katy Milkman | Eliminate Unhealthy Habits Today with 3 Scientifically Proven Strategies Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover talking to strangers with AJ and Johnny.  You never know what friend, business partner, or love interest you’ll meet by striking up a conversation with strangers in your daily life, but how do you create engaging conversations with anyone, what two things do you need for great conversations, and how do you make an unforgettable first impression? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How is technology harming our ability to hold conversations and how do we overcome it? Why is it important to your health and social life to make small talk with strangers? Simple Techniques for Talking to Strangers – 23:16 What tips can you use to have fun conversations with strangers? How do you know what to talk about with strangers? How do you give a compliment to a stranger? The Art of Charm Conversation Formula – 37:05 What is the formula for great conversations? How do you have a good conversation with anyone? What are the two things you need to have great conversations? Why is vulnerability important in conversations and how can you be vulnerable without being too vulnerable? Small talk is important because it helps us to get to know other people, learn about new things, and build relationships. It can also help you feel more connected and socialize when you may be feeling lonely or isolated. To know what to talk about with strangers, think about the setting you’re in and try to find a common ground or interest that you share. The formula for great conversations is simple: ask open-ended questions, listen attentively, and then share something personal about yourself. Having a good conversation with anyone is all about being vulnerable and letting your guard down a little bit. Don’t be afraid to share some of your own experiences or feelings, as long as you do so in a way that isn’t overwhelming or off-putting.  A Word From Our Sponsors Athletic Greens Right now, it’s time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient, daily nutrition! It’s just one scoop in a cup of water every day. That’s it! No need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health.  To make it easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit https://athleticgreens.com/artofcharm.  Again, that is athleticgreens.com/artofcharm to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance! Join Our Private Facebook Group Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Conversation Magic Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode The Secret to More Engaging Small Talk Toolbox | 3 Steps to Break Out of Small Talk and Instantly Build Rapport Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover masculinity with Richard Reeves. Richard is a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution, where he directs the Future of the Middle Class Initiative and co-directs the Center on Children and Families, and is the author of several books including his latest, Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It. Western culture is experiencing a masculinity crisis, so what does mature masculinity look like in today’s society, what defines toxic masculinity vs mature masculinity, and how do we start instilling masculinity in our boys? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the trends in education and how are they impacting the genders? Why is there a lack of male teachers? The Crisis of Fatherhood – 24:07 What role should fathers play moving forward? What does mature masculinity look like in modern society and how do we instill it in our children? Toxic Masculinity – 38:15  What is the difference between mature masculinity and toxic masculinity? What role do rites of passage play in the transition from boyhood to manhood and what consequences do we face as a culture without them? Where do we start if we want to revitalize the masculinity in our society?  The Gender Pay Gap is a Parenting Gap – 59:07 What is the reason for the gender pay gap? Masculinity is not a dirty word. It’s time to reclaim it and redefine it for the modern world. We can start by teaching our children what mature masculinity looks like, modeling healthy behavior ourselves, and creating spaces where men can gather to discuss these issues. Together we can shift the paradigm of toxic masculinity and work towards a more inclusive society that celebrates all forms of masculinity. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Richard Reeves website Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It by Richard Reeves Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover social engineering and corporate espionage with Robert Kerbeck. Robert is the founder of the Malibu Writers Circle, his essays and short stories have been featured in numerous magazines and literary journals, and his new memoir, RU$E: Lying the American Dream from Hollywood to Wall Street, is a thrilling look into his career as a secret corporate spy. Espionage has been around for as long as people have kept secrets, but what do corporate spies do to get information from unsuspecting employees, what should you be on the lookout for to protect yourself and your company, and how do you become a corporate spy? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do you become a corporate spy? How do corporate spies prepare for deceptive calls with competitors? Corporate Espionage Tools of the Trade – 13:36 What is a false time constraint and how do scammers and spies use them to manipulate you? How do scammers and corporate spies manipulate you to get whatever information they want? How do corporate spies receive new assignments? The different ways Corporate Espionage is used – 31:24  How do corporations use corporate spies to find new employees and executive leaders? How do corporate spies leverage fear to get what they want out of you? In order to protect yourself from becoming a victim of corporate espionage, it is important to be aware of the tools and tactics that scammers and spies use. By understanding how they operate, you can be better prepared to defend yourself against their attempts to manipulate you into giving away sensitive information. Remember, always be skeptical of unsolicited calls or emails and never give out personal information or passwords without verifying the caller’s identity first.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Robert Kerbeck’s website RUSE: Lying the American Dream from Hollywood to Wall Street by Robert Kerbeck Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover hunting discomfort with Sterling Hawkins. Sterling is the CEO and founder of the Sterling Hawkins Group, a research, training and development company focused on human and organizational growth, and is the author of Hunting Discomfort: How to Get Breakthrough Results in Life and Business No Matter What.  Discomfort is an inevitable aspect of getting anywhere in life, so what are the 5 kinds of discomfort we all face, what are the ways we all deal with discomfort that make it worse, and how can you leverage discomfort to turn your dreams into a reality? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why do you risk everything you’ve worked for when you avoid discomfort? What are the 3 default ways we try to deal with discomfort that only make the discomfort worse? How to Evolve through Discomfort – 11:20 What can you do to adopt a mindset that embraces discomfort and leverages discomfort to evolve as a person? What are the 3 kinds of beliefs and how do they drive everything you do? Hunting Discomfort vs Danger – 20:11  What is the difference between seeking out discomfort and doing dangerous things because they’re dangerous? What are the 5 types of discomforts we all face? The Necessity of Discomfort – 40:50 What can you commit to in order to force yourself to get comfortable with discomfort? Discomfort is a part of life. It’s what we do with discomfort that determines whether or not it will have a negative impact on our lives. When we avoid discomfort, we risk everything we’ve worked for. But when we embrace discomfort, we can grow as individuals and achieve things we never thought possible. So how do you start embracing discomfort? You can start by making a commitment to yourself get comfortable with discomfort. And then you can begin to experiment with different ways of introducing discomfort into your everyday life so that it becomes a regular part of your existence. Are you ready to take the challenge?  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Sterling Hawkins’s website Hunting Discomfort by Sterling Hawkins Hunting Discomfort Quiz Sterling Hawkins on Instagram Sterling Hawkins on Twitter Sterling Hawkins on LinkedIn Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the different work genius skills with Patrick Lencioni. Patrick is founder and president of The Table Group, a firm dedicated to helping leaders improve their organizations’ health and the author of ten business books including his most recent work, The 6 Types of Working Genius: A Better Way to Understand Your Gifts, Your Frustrations, and Your Team. Knowing what kind of work your personality is inclined toward can make the difference between loving your work and hating it, having an innovative team and a failing team, so what are the different types of work and how can you leverage them to achieve incredible success? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why do we get frustrated at work and what is triggering this?  What are the skills necessary to fully function in any work environment? Different Kinds of Working Genius – 5:32 What are the different types of working skills we already have and the skills we still need to develop? What are the benefits of learning and knowing how these skills can change our work environment? What Type of Worker Are You? – 18:28   How do you behave within the team and how do you react to different situations? Are you tenacious, love to push things forward, and make sure they get done? Interpreting the Assessment Results – 32:54 What can you do when you think your co-workers are outsmarting and outperforming you? What is the concept of quiet-quitting and why is it causing companies to lose their genius talents? A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode The 6 Types of Working Genius by Patrick Lencioni The Table Group Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the science behind the hidden power of relationships with AJ and Johnny.  The people in your life can you lead you to success or failure, joy or frustration—so how do you know what influence people and their friends are having on your life, how can you be a high value person to attract high value friendships and relationships, and what steps can you take to upgrade your social circle? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What influence do the people around you have on your happiness and ability to achieve your goals? How do you handle relationships that have a negative influence on your life? High Value vs Low Value Behavior – 10:55 What does it mean to be high value and why should you avoid low value behaviors if you don’t want to lose great friendships and relationships? What are the benefits of being high value as much as possible? Inescapable Influence of Friends and Family – 23:01  How can your life be influenced by the friends of friends you don’t even know and what can you do to mitigate the harm they cause? Can you filter out the negative influences of certain friends so you can keep them around for the positive influences? Curate Your Social Circle – 47:30 What steps can you take to upgrade your existing social circle so your friends, family members, and coworkers support you rather than bring you down? What is the difference between venting and gossiping and how should you respond to each one? Other people are capable of having a significant impact on your life. If you let them, the right ones can set up conditions for success while leaving behind only pleasant memories and happy moments in their wake - but how do we determine which individuals will provide us with these opportunities? And more importantly: what can we do when our friends begin steering clear-cut paths towards failure or discontentment instead by trying to guide themselves into successful futures through less than honest means such as cheating at sports games etc. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode What Are Social Skills? A Value Vampire Has No Clue Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover conscious conversations with Chuck Wisner. Chuck is a business and personal consultant and an advisor to leaders in high-profile companies in several industries such as Google, Rivian, Apple, and Tesla, and is the author of The Art of Conscious Conversations: Transforming How We Talk, Listen, and Interact.  Conversations are an important aspect of running a business with employees, so what conversations should you be having with your employees and what types of questions should you ask? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How many different kinds of conversations are there and why do you need to know them all? Advocacy vs Inquiry – 22:55 Why is it important to balance advocacy for yourself and inquiring about others? The 4 Questions to Ask in Conversations – 34:16  What kinds of questions should you ask yourself when you’re talking to someone if you want to spark more engaging conversations? Conversational Bypass – 48:30 Why is it important to touch on all four types of conversations in business and planning meetings in order to get the most out of your team?  The next time you’re in a meeting, think about how you can use all four conversation types to get your point across. When you advocate for yourself and inquire about others, it will create a more balanced and engaging discussion. Asking the right questions of yourself before talking to someone can help set the tone for a more productive exchange. Touching on all four conversation types is important in business because it allows for different perspectives to be explored and helps everyone feel heard.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode The Art of Conscious Conversations by Chuck Wisner Chuck Wisner’s website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover groundedness with Brad Stulberg. Brad coaches executives, entrepreneurs, physicians, and athletes on health, well-being, and sustainable excellence, and is the bestselling author of The Practice of Groundedness: A Transformative Path to Success that Feeds -- Not Crushes -- Your Soul. Being present is harder than ever in a world with a million things fighting for our attention, so what can you do to stay grounded in a world of distractions, what mindset can you adopt to work hard without burning out, and build a community that keeps your carries your momentum forward? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is groundedness and what does it mean to practice groundedness? The Principles of Groundedness – 10:22 What practice can you implement to accept where you are in the moment so you can make better decisions about where to go next? What is the best thing you can do if you feel like you’re in a hole and time has slowed down to a crawl?  The Key to Feeling Good and Being Happy – 20:31  What piece of ancient wisdom is repeated throughout history when it comes to feeling good and being happy? What can you do to limit the distractions in your life so you can start your day productively and with a clear mind?  Vulnerability and Confidence – 41:50 How can you leverage vulnerability to build more confidence? What is deep community and how does it help you achieve groundedness? When it comes to happiness, feeling good, and crushing life, there is one ancient wisdom that keeps popping up throughout history. That ancient wisdom is groundedness. Groundedness means living in the present moment, being connected to your body and your surroundings, and having a clear mind. It’s about being fully aware of what is happening around you and within you. Practicing groundedness can help you limit distractions so you can start your day productively, build more confidence by leveraging vulnerability, and feel happier and more content in life. What will you do today to start living more grounding? A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Brad Stulberg’s website The Practice of Groundedness: A Transformative Path to Success That Feeds--Not Crushes--Your Soul by Brad Stulberg Brad Stulberg on Twitter Brad Stulberg on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover leadership and motivation with Dan Luna. Dan formed 3LX Consulting in 2019 to empower leaders through coaching products that combine academics, consulting, and coaching, after a twenty-year career in the United States Navy SEAL Teams.  Leadership is a skill that requires conscious effort to develop, but how do we define leadership, what daily practices can you utilize to improve your leadership, and what can you do to lead and motivate your team to achieve their potential? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What does leadership mean to a Navy SEAL? Leadership Skill Transference – 10:42 How do you transfer your leadership skills from one area of your life to another? What can you do to develop self-awareness so you know where you are lacking when it comes to leadership? How to Start Journaling for Leadership Development – 30:51  What can you do start journaling from a leadership perspective to develop your leadership skills? How do You Motivate Other Leaders – 43:10 How do we define motivation so we are better able to motivate other leaders and team members? What areas can we highlight for team members to help them uncover the motivation to achieve their goals? What can you do to give great feedback people will listen to?  Leaders are not born but they are made. You can become a better leader by taking the time to journal your thoughts and experiences from a leadership perspective. This will help you develop an understanding for what motivates you and how you can motivate others. When it comes to giving feedback, make sure that you take the time to understand the person’s perspective before offering any criticism. Feedback is most effective when it is specific, actionable, and positive. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Team 3LX website Dan Luna on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the concept of belonging with Geoffrey Cohen. Cohen is the James G. March Professor of Organizational Studies in Education and Business, professor of psychology and, by courtesy, at the Graduate School of Business at Stanford University, and the author of Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides.  Humans are social creatures and our health is tied to our social bonds, so what happens when we lose the sense of belonging, what can you do to improve your ability to foster that connection with others, and how do you develop the empathy necessary to connect with people from all walks of life? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What does it mean to belong and what happens to us when we don’t feel a sense of belonging? Situation Crafting – 20:48  What is situation crafting and how can you leverage it to accomplish your goals? What simple tricks can you use to accelerate your progress toward changing or improving your behavior? Turning Knowledge into Action – 35:30 How do you take information you learn in one area and apply it to other areas of your life to save time and energy? What are the three ingredients necessary to effect change on an individual level? How to connect with people across different beliefs – 45:10 What obstacles get in the way of connecting with people who have different beliefs than your own? How do you develop empathy for cultures or belief systems you have no experience with? We all want to feel like we belong, that we are a part of something larger than ourselves. When we don’t have that sense of belonging, it can be damaging both mentally and emotionally. But what if there were ways to create a sense of belonging for yourself? What if you could use the power of situation crafting to your advantage? There are simple tricks you can use to get started on this journey and develop empathy for cultures or belief systems that are new to you. The bottom line is that developing a sense of belonging is crucial to our well-being as humans. With the right tools and information, you can find belonging in even the most difficult situations. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides by Geoffrey Cohen Geoffrey L Cohen’s website Geoffrey L Cohen’s Stanford Faculty page Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover navigating college and your career with Belle Liang and Timothy Klein. Belle is a professor of Counseling Psychology and Principal Investigator in the Purpose Lab and Tim is an award-winning urban educator, clinical therapist and school counselor, and together they wrote How to Navigate Life: The New Science of Finding Your Way in School, Career, and Beyond. Society places a ton of pressure on kids to follow a certain path through life, but does that path set them up for success or failure, what mindset should we be instilling in kids before they choose a college, and why is the pursuit of happiness leading them away from a fulfilling life? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What mindset do we learn at an early age that sets us up for failure? What is the career and college navigation crisis? What’s wrong with how we perceive higher education – 12:20  What do we get wrong about guiding students into the higher education system and what should we do to set teens up for success after high school? The Three Mindsets for Success – 18:50 What are the three mindsets you need to chart the correct path through higher education? Why is it a bad idea to follow your passions? Why is it important to balance passion with performance and purpose? The Value of Being Purpose-Driven – 34:00 What does it mean to live with purpose and how do you figure out what your purpose is in college? Committing to only pursuing your passion places an unnecessary focus on only doing things that make you feel good and avoiding discomfort and hard work. That is the same as living a life in strict pursuit of happiness. If we chase happiness as a goal in life there will always be a gap between where we are now and the happiness we desire. That leads to a constant state of never being happy enough, thus defeating the purpose of trying to lead a happy life.   A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode How to Navigate Life: The New Science of Finding Your Way in School, Career, and Beyond by Belle Liang and Timothy Klein How To Navigate Life website Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover quieting your inner critic with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.  We all have an inner critic for a reason, so what is that reason, what is it doing to stop you from living your dream life, and what tools can you implement today to quiet your inner critic and start leading the life you deserve? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why do we have an inner critic and what purpose is it supposed to serve? Quieting your inner critic – 24:30  What are the benefits of quieting your inner critic? The tools to quiet your inner critic – 34:30 What can you do to quiet your inner critic? How do you use self-compassion to make your inner critic into a supportive voice for growth and development? Do you find yourself losing the battle with your inner critic? That inner critic is there to save us from danger from how much danger are you genuinely in on a daily basis? The first mistake many people make is treating their inner critic as if that voice knows what is best for them. Rather than taking your inner critic seriously, start by asking yourself, “The way my inner critic is speaking to me now, would I talk like to my best friend?”  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode David Goggins & The Art of Mastering Your Mindset Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover peak performance with Steve Magness. Steve was two seconds away from breaking the 4 minute mile, he is a world-renowned expert on performance, coauthor of Peak Performance, and the author of the new book Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong. Performing at your best will attract countless opportunities in all areas of your life, but expectations and poor goal setting will hold you back, so what can you do to set the correct goals and expectations for yourself and how do you build the resilience necessary to achieve your potential?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do expectations alter the way we live our lives without us being consciously aware of it? What does toughness mean today? – 19:36  What is the difference between safety and security and how has the confusion between the two led to weaker humans? Transition from discomfort to action – 33:01 How do you take the discomfort you feel in a situation and convert it into meaningful action and goal setting? Goal setting and training resilience – 40:07 Why do many of us set goals that lead us to fail and how can we set goals that pull us to success instead? How do you train resilience? Expectations play a huge role in our lives, and often we aren't even consciously aware of them. Our expectations can lead us to discomfort, but if we learn how to convert that discomfort into meaningful action and goal setting, we can achieve our potential. Setting goals is an important part of this process, but it's essential to be realistic about what we can achieve and not set ourselves up for failure. With the right mindset and some practice, we can all work towards building a more resilient self. What are you going to do today that will help you meet your long-term goals? A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Steve Magness’s website Steve Magness on Twitter Steve Magness on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover leadership with Dr. Karyn Gordon. Dr. Karyn Gordon is the CEO and co-founder of DK Leadership, a TED Talk speaker, and the Wall Street Journal Bestselling author of The Three Chairs: How Great Leaders Drive Communication, Performance, and Engagement.  Leadership skills are great for anyone to have, but they are crucial if you want to get ahead professionally, so what are the signs you need to work on your leadership skills, what can you do to work on them, and what’s the best way to ask for feedback so you know you’re improving?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the five components of emotional intelligence? Signs your leadership skills are lacking – 18:11  What are some signs you need to work on your leadership skills before you shoot for a leadership position? What exercise can you do with your team at work to identify weak spots in your leadership skills? The best way to ask for feedback – 24:45 What can you do to ask your manager or supervisor for feedback that shows your willingness to excel within the company? What are the three chairs of leadership? – 41:03 Who has the hardest time setting boundaries and what can you do to improve your ability to set better boundaries? Leaders with a high emotional intelligence can inspire their followers to achieve great things. If you’re aspiring to be a leader, or are currently in a leadership position and feel like you could use some improvement, start by working on your emotional intelligence. There are many ways to do this, but one of the best is simply to ask for feedback. Let your manager or supervisor know that you want to excel within the company and that you’re willing to work hard to improve any areas where they see potential for growth. Then take that feedback and turn it into action. Finally, remember that setting boundaries is an important part of being a good leader. It can be difficult to say no sometimes, but it’s crucial if you want to maintain your own sanity (and health) while leading others.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Dr. Karyin Gordon’s website The Three Chairs: How Great Leaders Drive Communication, Performance, and Engagement by Dr Karyn Gordon Why Confidence Is The Secret To Great Leaders At Work & Home | TEDx Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the value of sorrow and longing with Susan Cain. Susan is the author of the Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, and her newest book Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole is focused on sorrow and longing as inspiration to experience sublime emotions opposed to the constant positivity expected by society.  Modern society reinforces the idea that we should strive to be positive in everything we do, but is positivity always better for you, why do we then seek forms of entertainment that evoke feelings like sadness, and how should we treat these emotions that society tells us we need to dismiss or get over? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Is there a link between creativity and melancholy? What is the difference between melancholy and depression and why does one support creativity while the other suppresses it? Why are we drawn to entertainment that evokes sadness – 15:21  What is it about sadness and beauty that we are drawn to? Why is it important to have a creative outlet for our emotions and what consequences do we risk by not pursuing a healthy outlet? What is the best way to process grief? What can leaders do to provide a healthy work environment – 29:48 What can you do to support your employees to minimize the chances of burnout and poor productivity? How do you figure out what you want to do with your life – 39:00 What should you do if you’re worried about hitting the milestones everyone expects of you (career, marriage, house, kids, etc)? How to figure out what you want to do with your life? The state of introversion vs extraversion – 49:12 What has changed in society with respect to understanding and empowering introverts? It’s important to take care of our mental health and process our emotions in a healthy way. It’s also crucial that we don’t shy away from the things that make us feel sad or down. There is something powerful and beautiful about sadness, and when we allow ourselves to explore it we can often find new ways of looking at the world and new sources of inspiration.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole by Susan Cain Susan Cain’s website The power of introverts | Susan Cain TED Talk Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover emotion efficacy with Dr. Aprilia West. Dr. West is a psychologist and executive and team leadership coach who works extensively with artists, creatives, and entertainment execs to increase their emotional intelligence, psychological flexibility, and resilience. Emotions influence our thoughts and actions everyday, so what can you do to understand them, understand where they come from, and understand how to manage them so they don’t lead you to make harmful decisions? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is emotion efficacy? What is the emotional default world and how does it shape your behavior? The importance of emotion efficacy – 13:33  What is the difference between feelings and emotions? The signs of low emotion efficacy – 27:00 How do you know if you have low emotion efficacy? What questions can you ask yourself to understand where you have room to grow emotionally? Five Steps to Increase Emotion Efficacy – 35:10 What can you do to increase your emotion efficacy? What does it look like to have great emotion efficacy in times of intense uncertainty? The Loneliness Epidemic – 40:05 What role does emotion efficacy play in your ability to connect with others and build friendships? Emotion efficacy is the ability to understand your emotions and express them in a healthy manner. It’s what allows you to stay in a positive emotional state and navigate challenging situations. In times of intense uncertainty, it can be one of the most important things you possess.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Dr Aprilia West’s website What You Feel Is Not All There Is by Dr. Aprilia West Dr Aprilia West on Instagram Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover narcissism with Lily Walford. Lily is an international dating coach and the survivor of a toxic narcissistic relationship. Narcissists are all around us and can cause untold harm to our mental wellbeing, so what can you do to identify and disarm narcissists, how can you tell if you’re in a relationship with one, and what should you look for to avoid getting into a relationship with one? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What does narcissism look like? How to identify narcissists – 15:30  What signs can you look for if you think you’re dating a narcissist? How do you know if someone is a narcissist? Self-care after a relationship with a narcissist – 24:05 What can you do to take care of yourself after a toxic relationship with a narcissist? Disarming Narcissists – 31:15 What can you to disarm a narcissist? How will a narcissist stop you from disarming him or her? Dating after a narcissist – 41:07 What 4 elements should you look for in a healthy relationship? What can you do to reinvigorate a relationship? Narcissists tend to be charismatic and successful. If you surround yourself with top performers, chances are there is a narcissist among them. So it’s important to be able to identify them before they wreak havoc on your personal and professional life. Additionally, there are steps you can take to disarm narcissists so they lose their power over you and the people around you. And if you find yourself dating a narcissist, make sure you take time after the relationship to identify what went wrong and be on the lookout for the 4 elements of a healthy relationship so you don’t end up dating another narcissist. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Lily Walford’s website Love With Intelligence YouTube Channel Love With Intellgience Facebook Group Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the science of competition with Ashley Merryman. Ashley is the Non-Resident Senior Fellow for the Joint Special Operations University and author of Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing. Competition can be healthy and unhealthy, so how do you know the difference between healthy and unhealthy competition, what are the differences between how introverts and extroverts handle competition, and how does gender play a role in competition? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the biggest myths surrounding competition and trying to be number one? What are the benefits of competition? Healthy vs Unhealthy Competition – 9:00  What is the difference between healthy competition and unhealthy competition? Where does the fear of failure come from? Overcome Fear of Failure – 15:30 What is the difference between a challenge and a threat and how can one lead you to failure while the other leads to success? What can you do to overcome the fear of failure when you know people are watching you? Don’t Think About Pink Elephants – 29:40 What can you do to start being competitive again after a severe loss? What are the differences between men and women when it comes to competition and competitive environments? What role does gender play in competition? Introverts vs Extroverts in Competition – 56:20 Why do introverts and extroverts approach competition differently and how can you use that knowledge to improve your ability to compete whether you are an introvert or extrovert? Competition can be a powerful motivator, but it’s important to make sure that you are using it in a healthy way. When competition becomes destructive and fear-based, it ruins our relationships and keeps us from achieving our goals. By understanding your own tendencies and working on overcoming your fears, you can learn to use competition in a positive way that unlocks your full potential. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Top Dog: The Science of Winning and Losing by Ashley Merryman Ashley Merryman’s website Ashley Merryman on Twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover networking to survive the recession with AJ and Johnny.  People rely on those they trust in times of economic hardship, so what can you do to grow your network before the next economic downturn and what value can you offer to strengthen your existing network so you’re in a better position when the next recession hits? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why is networking so important when you’re starting in a new field or trying to move up in your current field? Why is a strong network important to have before a recession begins? What everyone gets wrong about networking – 13:03  How do you network effectively so you’re not shooting yourself in the foot at every networking event? What is social capital and why do you need to understand it to network effectively? What three ways can you provide value to anyone in your network? The 4 levels of support value you can offer to anyone – 23:20 What can you do to stand out from the crowd when congratulating or supporting someone in your network?  Leverage your network to provide value to others – 33:50 How can you use your existing network to grow it while also offering value to people inside and outside of your network? What simple strategy can you use to grow your network from nothing on LinkedIn? It’s not a question of if the next recession will hit, but when. So, it’s important to start building your network now. A strong network can help you weather any storm. The more people you know in different industries and positions, the more resources you have at your disposal. Social capital is key to networking effectively; make sure you understand what it is and how to use it to your advantage.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode How to Attract High Value People & Opportunities | Toolbox Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover  with Angie Morgan. Angie is the co-author of Bet on You: How to Win with Risk, a book about discovering the formula for success and decision-making confidence to transform even the most risk-averse mindset. We have to take risks in order to become great at anything, but what do you do if that risk stops you dead in your tracks, who should you seek out for advice, and how can you manage risk so you can accomplish your dreams? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do you break something down that appears to be a large risk? Who are the three types of people you should look out for when getting advice on a big risk you want to take, and who should you avoid? How to Find High Value Communities – 13:05  Where can you go to find high value communities that will support you and help you on your journey to achieve your dreams? How to Grow Your Confidence – 20:20 What are the three components of confidence you need to focus on in order to become more confident? How to Mitigate Big Risk – 39:30 What three strategies can you implement to effectively manage the risks you take in life? When it comes to making big decisions, it’s important to get advice from the right people. Seek out those who will give you honest feedback and support you on your journey. Avoid getting bogged down by negative people or those who are not willing to help you achieve your dreams. With the right mindset and a supportive community, anything is possible. What risks are you ready to take in order to achieve your goals? A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Bet on You: How to Win with Risk by Angie Morgan Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover building high value relationships with AJ & Johnny.  Building high value relationships requires vulnerability, but what does it mean to be vulnerable, how do you know when to be vulnerable, and what are some simple strategies you can use to be more effective in relationship building? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why is it important to build high value relationships? How do you start making new friends? Turn Small Talk into Smart Talk – 12:00  Why is vulnerability important when building connections with people? How do you bring vulnerability into your social interactions? The Three Levels of Vulnerability – 17:00 What is the first level of vulnerability and how do you know when to use it? How do you know when to go to the deepest level of vulnerability? What red flags should you look for in the way people react to your vulnerability? The Cave Analogy of Vulnerability – 37:50 Why is it important to lead with vulnerability before expecting others to be vulnerable? We hope that you walk away from this episode feeling empowered to build high value relationships with others. By being vulnerable and authentic, we create opportunities for true connection and intimacy. When we lead with vulnerability, it sets the tone for a more open and connected relationship in which both parties can be their true selves. What are you waiting for? Start building those connections today! A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode The Strength of Weak Ties by Mark S. Granovetter Art of Charm Small Talk Cheat Sheet Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover social engineering with Christopher Hadnagy. Chris is an IT entrepreneur, IT security consultant, and the best-selling author of five books including his latest Human Hacking: Win Friends, Influence People, and Leave Them Better Off for Having Met You. Social engineering is an effective tool to get what you want, but what is social engineering, how can you use it to instantly build rapport with complete strangers, and what should you look for if you think someone is using it against you?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is social engineering and how do people use it every day? How to Build Rapport  – 10:10  Why is it important to learn how to build rapport and how do you go about learning it? The Four Questions of Trustworthiness – 25:18 What are the four questions we ask ourselves to determine whether or not we can trust someone? How can you build rapport instantly with someone you’ve just met?  When is flattery NOT ok? – 41:30 When should you avoid complimenting someone? What’s the best way to compliment someone? Social engineering is a powerful tool that can be used in positive or negative ways. By learning how to build rapport, you can use social engineering for good – to make connections with people, learn their stories, and understand them better. When you know how to spot red flags and protect yourself against social engineers, you become a more informed and empowered individual who can help keep themselves and others safe.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Human Hacking: Win Friends, Influence People, and Leave Them Better Off for Having Met You by Christopher Hadnagy Christopher Hadnagy’s website Christopher Hadnagy on Twitter Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover contextual behaviorism with Dr. Emily Sandoz. Emily is a professor of social sciences in the psychology department at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, the director of the Louisiana Contextual Science Research Group, as well as the Editor in Chief of the Journal of Contextual Behavioral Sciences, and has co-authored three books on acceptance and commitment therapy. Changing or eliminating problematic behavior is not as simple as flipping a switch, but what role does your environment play, how can you identify contextual problems in your daily life that are affecting your behavior, and what is the best way to learn new behaviors? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is contextual behaviorism and how does the environment influence your ability to change your behavior? Using  – 11:50  How can you use contextual behaviorism to change your problematic behavior? What does it mean to have access to certain behaviors and how do you what behaviors you do have access to? Learning new behaviors – 23:07 What is the best way to learn new behaviors? How can you use contextualism to manage your perfectionism? Give better advice with context in mind – 33:00 How can you set up your environment to be more conducive to the life you want? How do you shift from a goal-driven mindset to a value-driven mindset and what’s the difference? Context matters. That couldn’t be more true than with our behavioral development. Our behaviors impact the world around us and the world around us impacts our behaviors. So if you’re struggling to change your behaviors, one of the best places to look for a solution is your environment. What is it about your environment that is making it more difficult for you to change?  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Dr. Emily Sandoz Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover high value behaviors with AJ and Johnny.  Being a high value person opens doors to opportunities you never thought possible, so what does it mean to be high value, what high value behaviors should you look for in yourself and others, and what simple steps can you take to filter high value people into your life? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why are high value behaviors important if you want to have a healthy social circle and fulfilling life? What does it mean to be high value – 16:10  What is the difference between high and low value behaviors and why should you avoid low value behaviors if you don’t want to be miserable? How do you deal with friends who want to hold you back when you’re trying to grow and be a better person? How to Build a High Value Social Circle – 28:00 What steps can you take to build and maintain a social circle of high value individuals who will support you and be there for you when you need them? Examples of High Value Behavior – 37:50 How can you identify high value behavior in the people around you so you know who to connect with and who to avoid? So, what are high value behaviors? They’re the things that help us grow and become better people. They make our lives more fulfilling and meaningful. And they attract other high value individuals into our social circles. We all want to be happy and have a good life, but too often we get stuck around low value behavior that keeps us from reaching our goals. If you want to break out of this cycle and build a better life for yourself, start by making some changes in the way you interact with the people around you. Replace low value behaviors with high value ones, and surround yourself with positive people who will support your growth. It won’t be easy, but it’s worth it.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Avoid These 3 Low Value Behaviors (Toolbox) Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover winning your breakup with Natasha Adamo. Natasha is a high-performance coach, relationship coach, speaker, blogger with over two and a half million readers, and the author of Win Your Breakup: How to Be The One That Got Away. Breakups can be painful and get drawn out, so what can you do win your breakup, what does it mean to win, and how can you avoid falling into another toxic relationship? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the signs of toxic relationships? How do you win your breakup? Breaking the Toxic Relationship Cycle – 19:48  How do you break the cycle of jumping from one toxic relationship to another? What signs should you look for in a potential partner? Stay on your white horse after a breakup – 27:20 What steps should you take after a breakup to speed up the recovery process? What should you avoid doing after a breakup if you want to move on? Emotional Entrepreneurship – 45:36 What is an emotional entrepreneur and why are people drawn to emotional entrepreneurs? Winning a breakup is not about getting your ex back. It's about gaining back control of your life and becoming emotionally stronger. So how do you win? You need to understand what it means to win. Identify the signs of toxic relationships, break the cycle of jumping from one toxic relationship to another, and take steps to speed up the recovery process.. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Natasha Adamo’s website Win Your Breakup: How to Be The One That Got Away by Natasha Adamo Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover mental health with Lori Gottlieb. Lori is a psychotherapist in Los Angeles, co-host of the podcast Dear Therapists, and the author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. Mental health is a priority now more than ever, so what are the overlooked signs that someone is struggling with mental health, how do you know if you should talk to a professional, and why is boundary setting crucial to positive mental health? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the overlooked signs that someone is struggling with mental health issues? What is the value in seeing a therapist versus talking to your friends and family about issues you’re experiencing in life? The self-sabotaging stories we tell ourselves – 11:12  Why do we tell ourselves stories about what happens to us and how do those stories have lasting negative impacts on us and the people around us? What impact do the people around us have on our mental health and what can you do if your friends aren’t healthy for you? Setting and maintaining boundaries – 24:24 How do you set boundaries and maintain them with people who constantly violate them?  Finding the right person – 47:05 What is the number one question you should ask yourself when on a first date? Mental health is something many people struggle with, but often don’t talk about. The signs that someone is struggling can be easily overlooked if you’re not aware of them. It’s important to be there for your loved ones and help them get the help they need if you see any of these signs. If you’re experiencing mental health issues, it’s valuable to seek out therapy. Friends and family are great sources of support, but sometimes talking to somebody neutral who isn’t invested in our lives can be really helpful, even lifesaving.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Lori Gottlieb’s website Dear Therapists with Lori Gottlieb and Guy Winch TED Talk: How changing your story can change your life | Lori Gottlieb Overcoming Nice Guy Syndrome | Dr. Robert Glover Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover influence with Zoe Chance. Zoe is a teacher, writer, researcher, climate philanthropist, earned her doctorate from Harvard, teaches Mastering Influence and Persuasion, the most popular class at the Yale School of Management, and is the author of Influence is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen. Influencing the people around you is a superpower, but how do you develop that ability through your charisma, what common mistakes are you making that kill your charisma, and what is the most important skill you need to influence people?   What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why is your ability to influence others a superpower? What are the three paradoxes of charisma? Anti-charismatic statements – 15:15  What are diminishing statements, why do so many of us use them, and how do they kill your charisma? Charming vs Manipulating – 23:14  How can you tell the difference between people using strategies and tactics to build genuine connections and using them to manipulate others to get what they want? How do you say no if you’re a people pleaser and what can you do to get comfortable with saying no? What does it mean to reframe something? – 32:30 What is reframing and why is it a powerful tool in communication? What is the worst way to try and get someone to see your point of view? The levels of listening – 47:30 What are the 5 levels of listening, and which level is the most important if you’re trying to connect with someone? You have the ability to influence others, and that is a superpower. It’s time to start using your power for good. When you become aware of diminishing statements and how they kill your charisma, you can start reframing your communication in order to build genuine connections with the people around you. With practice, this will become second nature, and you’ll be able to use your newfound superpower for good in all areas of your life. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Influence Is Your Superpower: The Science of Winning Hearts, Sparking Change, and Making Good Things Happen By Zoe Chance Zoe Chance’s website Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam Grant  Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover metabolic health with Dr Philip Ovadia. Dr. Ovadia is a board certified Cardiac Surgeon, founder of Ovadia Heart Health, and the author of Stay Off My Operating Table: A Heart Surgeon’s Metabolic Health Guide to Lose Weight, Prevent Disease, and Feel Your Best Every Day.  What you put into your body has a direct impact on your metabolic health, but what is metabolic health, why is it important, and what can you do to support a strong metabolic health so you don’t end up on the operating table or in an early grave?  What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is metabolic health and how does it impact the other areas of your life including mental health? The big medical myths – 13:17  What is the biggest medical myth that is making us more unhealthy every year? Should we be consuming supplements? How did unhealthy food become so normalized that we serve it in hospitals where we’re supposed to go to get better? The 5 metrics of Metabolic Health – 26:09  What metrics should you and your doctor pay attention to if you want to avoid ending up on the operating table? What is the biggest pitfall of intermittent fasting and what can you do to work around it? Nutrition and Metabolic Health – 35:44 What should you eat to support your metabolic health and what should you avoid? How do nutrition and your metabolic health affect your mental well being? It’s clear that metabolic health is critical for overall well-being. Unfortunately, unhealthy food has become normalized to the point where we are now serving it in hospitals. If you want to avoid ending up on the operating table, make sure you and your doctor are paying attention to the following metrics: fasting blood sugar, blood pressure, cholesterol levels, and waist circumference. To support your metabolic health, make sure you eat plenty of fiber-rich fruits and vegetables and other whole foods. Avoid processed foods high in sugar and seed oils. By making small changes to your diet, you can improve your metabolic health and reduce your risk of developing chronic diseases like heart disease or diabetes. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Dr Ovadia’s website Stay Off My Operating Table Podcast hosted by Dr Ovadia Stay off My Operating Table: A Heart Surgeon’s Metabolic Health Guide to Lose Weight, Prevent Disease, and Feel Your Best Every Day by Dr Ovadia Dr Ovadia on Twitter Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It by Gary Taubes Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover trust and cooperation with Abbie Maroño. Abbie is the Director of Education at Social-Engineer, is a lecturer in Psychology, has a PhD in Behavior Analysis, was mentored by the body language expert Joe Navarro, and performs academic research specializing in nonverbal communication, trust, and cooperation. Trust is important because our survival depends on our ability to cooperate with the people around us, so why do we place a strong emphasis on competition, what signals should we look for to determine someone’s trustworthiness, and how do we build trust in the first place? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the definition of trust according to modern science? How fast can trust be built and destroyed? The big myth about competition and survival of the fittest – 10:10  What do we get wrong about competition vs cooperation in modern society, and why does this misconception lead to unhappiness and discontent in the workplace? What nonverbal signals should you look for to determine if someone is trustworthy? The trust problem with Zoom and Facetime – 24:52  What 3 common mistakes should you avoid when talking to someone through a video call if you want to build trust and comfort? How does your lower body signal your approachability to the people around you, and how should you be standing if you want to be approachable? How to rebuild trust – 37:48  What is the best way to apologize and rebuild trust after you break it? What are the biggest myths surrounding eye contact and trust? Trust is essential for both our personal and professional lives, but it can be difficult to build and easy to destroy. By understanding the signals we send when it comes to trustworthiness, we can take the necessary steps to build trust or rebuild trust after it’s been broken. And by fostering a cooperative environment, we can create happier relationships and more productive teams.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Abbie Maroño’s website Abbie Maroño on Twitter Abbie Maroño on LinkedIn Joe Navarro | Become an Exceptional Communicator by Mastering These 5 Traits The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals by Charles Darwin Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover negotiation with Barry Nalebuff. Barry is a Professor at Yale where he has taught negotiation, innovation, strategy, and game theory for thirty years, and recently authored Split the Pie: A Radical New Way to Negotiate, which is based on his negotiation course. Negotiating can be intimidating if you don’t do it on a regular basis, so what simple tips can you remember to make your next negotiation a win, how do you negotiate with people who are clearly more experienced than you, and what is the best question to ask when negotiating your salary? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What’s the difference between Split the Pie and Never Split the Difference? How to negotiate with unfair people – 10:55  What can you do to negotiate with people who don’t care about fairness? How can you “be ready to walk away” from a once-in-a-lifetime deal? Dealing with people who don’t see the win-win outcome – 21:10  How do we use empathy to get the other person’s perspective and come up with a deal that satisfies both parties? How much information should you disclose in a negotiation if you’re worried the information might be used against you? How to build your negotiation skills – 35:30  What can you do to develop your negotiation skills? How can you get the other party to see the pie you’re negotiating over? What advice should you avoid when negotiating? Negotiate the salary you deserve – 44:08 What questions can you ask so you know how to ask for the best compensation package without losing the offer? It is important to remember that the goal of any negotiation should be a mutually beneficial agreement, aka the pie. Both parties need to feel like they’ve won something and achieved their goals in order for negotiations to be successful. If you can walk into a negotiation with empathy and an understanding of the other person’s perspective, you’re already on your way to building better skills. What have been your biggest challenges when negotiating? Let us know in the comments below. We would love to help! A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Split the Pie by Barry Nalebuff Co-Opetition by Barry Nalebuff Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the brain with Lisa Barrett, PhD. Lisa is among the top one percent most cited scientists in the world for her revolutionary research in psychology and neuroscience, and is the author of the best-selling Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain. As we learn more about the brain we realize how mistaken we once were, so what have we been getting wrong about the brain, what have we learned, and how can you use that information to eliminate the unhelpful patterns and bad habits holding you back from living a fulfilling life? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Where did the myth about the lizard brain come from and why is it such a popular belief? Moving beyond the Lizard Brain – 10:47  What is the correct way to think about the conflict between rationality and what we mistakenly believe is the lizard brain so we can work toward becoming the people we want to be? How is our brain functionality connected to our metabolism and how can you use that information to increase your brain’s performance and longevity? Busting the Memory Myth – 26:10  How do our memories influence the way we operate in life and what can you do to overwrite old patterns that aren’t helping you anymore? How does your metabolism Do we have control over our actions? – 35:10  How does your body react to things before you are consciously aware of them and how can you use that to recognize unhelpful patterns? What can you do to deconstruct unhelpful patterns and habits, and make it easier to build healthier habits? Why does anxiety make things harder? – 43:30 What can you do to make it easier to do things that would normally cause you a lot of stress and anxiety? How do our brains wire to connect and influence the brains of the people we interact with? Science has shown us that our words and behavior have a measurable impact on the health of people around us. This means if we want to have a positive impact on those we care about, it’s crucial that we are thoughtful and intentional when interacting with others. Be mindful of the words you use, the eye contact you make, the body language you use, and how you treat people. Every person you influence will in turn influence you, so if you want to live in a positive, supporting environment, make sure you are treating others with love, respect, and encouragement. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Lisa Barrett’s website Seven And A Half Lessons About The Brain by Lisa Barrett How Emotions are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain by Lisa Barrett Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover low value behavior with AJ and Johnny. We all exhibit low value behavior that can push people away from us, so what are low value behaviors, what makes us exhibit low value behavior, and what can you do to stop these low value behaviors from destroying friendships and relationships? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are low value behaviors, how do they push people away from us, and how can you notice them so you stop exhibiting them? Why do low value behaviors make it difficult to create lasting friendships and relationships? Why do we need attention, approval, and acceptance? – 14:20  What do we need from other humans to feel safe and why does every human need it? How does your childhood shape the way you seek out value in the world and what can you do if your childhood influenced you to exhibit a lot of low value behaviors? How to Identify Low Value Behaviors – 24:27  What is the difference between a high value person and a low value person? What is supplicative behavior and what are some examples so you can make sure you don’t exhibit supplicative behavior? When is being agreeable considered low value behavior? Combative Behavior – 43:02  Why is it low value behavior to be argumentative and confrontational? What are the verbal and nonverbal signals of combative behavior? The Third Low Value Behavior – 50:05 When is it low value behavior to be competitive? What is it about these low value behaviors that repel high value people from your life and what can you shift to high value behavior instead? One of the worst blindspots people have in social situations is the way we go about satisfying our need for attention, approval, and acceptance. And we refer to attention, approval, and acceptance as value. We all have a need for value whether you like it or not. The difference between low value people and high value people is the way they go about getting that value. Low value people beg for it, fight you for it, and compete with you for it. High value people simply recognize their own value and seek to highlight the value in the people around them.  A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Resources from this Episode Mira Kirshenbaum | The Biggest Myth About Arguments Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover passive communication with Dr Robert Glover. Robert is an internationally recognized authority on the Nice Guy Syndrome, has helped thousands of nice guys transform from being passive, resentful victims to empowered, integrated males, and is the author of No More Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan For Getting What You Want in Love, Sex and Life. Trying to be the nice guy is a fatal step many men take to get what they want out of life, but what makes being a nice guy so bad, how can you identify your nice guy tendencies, and what can you do to get what you want without being a jerk? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is Nice Guy Syndrome and why is being a nice guy (or nice girl) counterproductive to getting what you want out of life? Does Nice Guy Syndrome also apply to women? Being a Nice Guy makes people like you less – 13:30  Why does being a nice guy lead people to trust you less and like you less, and what should you do instead? Why do Nice Guys seem inauthentic and untrustworthy? The Covert Contracts of Nice Guys – 19:38  What are the three secret contracts Nice Guys have with other people and why are these contracts harmful to them and their relationships? Identify Relationships that are not serving you – 32:34  What are Cooperative Reciprocal Relationships and what exercise can you do now to understand what relationships are not helping you and what relationships you should add to your life? Setting Boundaries and Expressing Your Desires – 44:25 What can you do if you know you should set boundaries but aren’t sure how to set them or defend them when people around you push back? If you feel shame related to your sexual desires, what can you do to work through it and develop a healthy relationship with your needs and wants, as well as expressing them confidently instead of hiding them? Being a nice guy sounds like a good idea, doesn’t it? Why would it be a bad thing? Turns out, when a man is trying to be a nice guy, it almost always means he’s not being authentic. Many times, a nice guy is nice because he thinks that’s what other people want him to be. He thinks being nice will result in people liking him and treating him better and sleeping with him. Instead, people see the niceness as a facade masking his true intentions and feelings. This makes him untrustworthy and unlikable. People respect and are drawn to others who are comfortable being themselves and being honest with the people around them. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Dr. Robert Glover’s website No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert Glover Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover the art of insubordination with Todd Kashdan. Todd is among the world’s top experts on the psychology of well-being, psychological strengths, mental agility, and social relationships.  Being a dissenter in today’s society is hard, but it is more important now than ever, so what can you do to raise questions about problems you see without being silenced, and how can you get your message across so people rally behind you instead of condemn you? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the art of insubordination and why should you care? Why is it important to have a public square where people can meet and exchange ideas? The crucial importance of a clear consistent message – 12:07  If political polarization isn’t our biggest issue in society, what is and how do we overcome it? How does technology speed up how quickly we self-segregate and isolate ourselves from different ideas and why is this dangerous to society? Why does the use of labels get us into trouble and how do we overcome the stigma of labels? Why We Must Understand the Art of Insubordination – 25:17  Why is the act of dissent important? What can you do to persuade friends and family when you are a dissenter? How can you introduce dissent into the mainstream without getting canceled? How to be a Principled Rebel in Modern Society – 35:12 What does it mean to be a principled rebel and why does every society need principled rebels? What is the best way to get your message across if you are part of a struggling minority influence? Why do we need to expose ourselves to ideas that run counter to our own beliefs and worldview? Dissenting is about more than just holding ideas and beliefs counter to mainstream thought. You must be willing to get involved in mainstream conversations, listen to what people have to say, and provide a legitimate path forward so people can see where your ideas lead. This allows them to be more comfortable following your ideas and handling any discomfort that might come from trying to change their worldview and the world around them. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog w,hen you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Todd Kashdan’s website The Art of Insubordination: how to dissent & defy effectively Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover leadership and decision-making with David Siegel. David is the CEO of Meetup, the largest platform for finding and building local communities, and the author of Decide & Conquer: 44 Decisions that will Make or Break All Leaders. Success is determined by the decisions you make and the people you surround yourself with, so how can you know when you’re making the right decision for your future, what can you do to surround yourself with people who will help you create success, and how do you maintain firm boundaries along the way? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What does it take to be the CEO of a great company like Meetup and how can you apply that knowledge to your own goals? Build a powerful network like a CEO – 19:28 What can you do to build a network that will get you to the next level of your career? How do you create luck in your life so more and more opportunities present themselves to you? What can you do to set firm boundaries as you become more successful? Navigate difficult conversations with ease – 38:14 When is the right time to have a difficult conversation and what can you do to make difficult conversations easier? How do you move your ego out of the way so it doesn’t sabotage your success as a leader? Build a thriving company culture – 49:03 What can you do to foster a company culture that is open to change and willing to cooperate on effecting change? What’s next for Meetup? CEOs know the importance of having a powerful network and tough decision-making. It’s what gets them through difficult conversations and allows them to build a thriving company culture. But, it doesn’t happen overnight. You have to be intentional about who you connect with and how you engage with them if you want to reap the benefits. What are some things you can do this week to start building your own powerful CEO-style network and decision-making framework? A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode The fall of WeWork’s Adam Neumann Decide and Conquer: 44 Decisions that will Make or Break All Leaders MeetUp Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover setting boundaries with Nedra Tawwab. Nedra is a licensed therapist, sought-after relationship expert who has practiced relationship therapy for 14 years, and author of the instant New York Times bestseller “Set Boundaries, Find Peace”. Boundaries are a challenging concept to implement for many, but it can be simplified once you understand them, so what are boundaries, what does it mean to communicate and defend your boundaries, and how do you handle situations where people are repeatedly crossing your boundaries? What to Listen For Introduction to Boundaries – 0:00 Why did Nedra Tawwab write a book on boundaries? Why is boundary setting pushed out of us as children only to be demanded of us as adults, and what can you do to reclaim your ability to set boundaries so you can avoid unhealthy relationships? What does it mean to set a boundary and how do you know when you should set a boundary? Respecting Your Boundaries – 11:00  What should you say if you need to back out of a commitment? Should you feel bad about backing out of a commitment? What leads someone to ghost you and how should you handle it? Building & Defending Your Boundaries – 24:50  What should you say if someone disrespects your boundary? How do you set new boundaries with someone? What can you do to show up for your team while setting healthy boundaries so you can get your work done? Healthy vs Unhealthy Consequences for Boundaries – 34:40  How do you know when a relationship should end if the other person keeps crossing your boundaries? How do you handle family members who are unwilling or unable to respect your boundaries? Boundaries are important because they allow us to build healthy relationships with people who respect us as individuals. If you don’t communicate to someone what it means to respect you and treat you well, you’re gambling on their ability to read your mind. I don’t know any mind readers so I’d call that a bad gamble. A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month! Resources from this Episode Nedra Tawwab on Instagram Nedra Tawwab’s website Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Tawwab Set Boundaries Workbook Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover procrastination and perfectionism with Jennifer Kemp. Jennifer is a leading expert on perfectionism and builds flexibility and self-compassion when working with therapeutic clients. Many of us experience perfectionism in different ways but they all hold us back from where we want to be, so what are the different ways perfectionism shows up in your life, what are the warning signs your perfectionism is unhealthy, and what can you do to overcome your perfectionism?   What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is unhelpful perfectionism and how is it different from the perfectionism we understand today? What 4 signs can you look for to identify whether your perfectionism is healthy or not?   The importance of adapting vs perfecting – 13:40  How does the pursuit of perfection lead to less progression when you’re trying to learn or improve a skill? What classes can you take to improve your conversational ability, sense of humor, and perfectionism?   What makes Art of Charm training programs so effective – 25:39  How do AoC alumni maintain their development after the program so they don’t fall back into their old behavior? How does skill development become self-reinforcing so it feels fun rather than a lot of work?   The warning signs of perfectionism – 39:20  How is perfectionism linked to other mental health issues and how can you identify them? What exercises can you do if you’re struggling with a harsh inner critic?   Is perfectionism keeping you from the success you’re after? You’re not alone. Perfectionism can show up in your life in several ways, including procrastination. Perfectionism can be a strength when it helps you create quality results, but it’s not doing you any favors if it stops you from taking action.    A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way. Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!   Resources from this Episode Jennifer Kemp’s website The ACT Workbook for Perfectionism   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we cover being an awesome human with Nataly Kogan. Nataly is a former writer for Verywell Mind, the co-founder and CEO of Happier, a leading wellness company on a mission to make millions of people happier, and the author of The Awesome Human Project.   Burnout can be a deadly trap you don’t recognize until the damage is done, so what can you do to avoid it (and still be successful), how does perfectionism make it worse, and how do you find your “why” so you can push through tough times and criticism?    What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are some obvious signs of burnout? What is the biggest lie entrepreneurs and leaders tell themselves to keep pushing through burn out?   Be an Awesome Human – 12:47  How do you edit your thoughts to help you be the best version of yourself? What two questions can you ask yourself to edit your thoughts and stop your mind from sabotaging your work, relationships, and goals? What does it mean to treat yourself with compassion and why do we ALL need to treat ourselves with more compassion?   Perfectionism is the Enemy of Completion – 31:00  How can you reframe perfectionism so it doesn’t stop you from finishing what you start and putting your work out there for others to enjoy? Why is it detrimental to your success to value every piece of criticism you receive?   Find your “why” and flourish in any job – 41:31  Why is it important to know your “why” when it comes to long term success and fulfillment in any line of work? What is emotional fitness, why is it just as important as physical fitness, and how do you develop it?   It’s easy to undervalue our physical and mental needs when pursuing ambitious goals. You can get lost in devoting countless hours to building a company and push aside physical exercise because it takes time away from the company. You can get lost in spending all of your free time at the gym and push aside quality sleep because “sleep is for the weak.” But we tend to forget the only reason we can do any of these things is because we have one precious life to work with.    A Word From Our Sponsors Do you LOVE the toolbox episodes? Did you know that every week we give a LIVE mini-toolbox lesson inside our Private Facebook Group? Best of all it is FREE to join. Join today and get access to all of our live training and level up your communication, leadership, influence and persuasion skills. With 14,000 members it’s a great place to network, learn and overcome any obstacle that’s in your way.   Did you know that you can get the whole Art of Charm catalog when you subscribe to Stitcher Premium using our link? That’s 15 years of podcasts featuring expert guests and toolbox episodes! Sign up today and use Code “CHARM” to get a free month!   Resources from this Episode Nataly Kogan’s website The Awesome Human Project by Nataly Kogan Awesome Human Hour hosted by Nataly Kogan   Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices