What's Your Problem With Nick Abbot and Carol McGiffin

By Global

Nick and Carol are back! Nick and Carol care about your problems. No, seriously. In this podcast they try to solve your issues. If they fail, that is not Nick and Carol's fault - it's probably down to the EU, or something. Send your problems to nickandcarol@global.com and prepare to be happy. (Happiness not guaranteed, terms and conditions apply, always read the label).

Episodes

The delivery man buzzes twice

This week, Carol has a fight with a washing machine, Nick gets picked up in Los Angeles, there's an issue with a bad boss and an incident with a reclining seat

04/10/221h 7m

A problem with cheese

This week, Carol is a pain in the neck, Nick imagines people naked, there's some unpleasantness on a Zoom meeting and they get the feeling they're being watched.

26/09/221h 5m

A Thai massage and a bag of chips.

This week, Nick and Carol talk about competitive emoting, Carol loses her numbers, there's an encounter with Taylor Swift and something unpleasant about wind.

20/09/2257m 55s

Pill packet rage

This week, Nick and Carol help out on Southend Pier, have an issue with drugs, find problems filling up and watch a festival of cheating.

12/09/2258m 1s

The bums episode

This week, Nick and Carol get to the bottom of it, Nick has an incident on a boat, Carol appears on the news, they identify a problem with sports fans and launch an attack on estate agents.

05/09/2259m 28s

Carol does the dance

This week, Nick is in a rush, Carol gets on stage, they cling to old friends, navigate a roundabout and almost make a pizza.

29/08/2254m 41s

The flashing gnome

This week, Nick and Carol pick a fight with computers, Carol shares too much about her decor, there's a unique way of eating Jaffa Cakes, Nick still hasn't had his dinner, there's a problem with Kent and panic on a plane

22/08/2259m 41s

The Lost Tape

This week's is the one that should have gone out last week, that we thought had been lost but was found thanks to the nice people at Zencastr. Carol gets in a fight with a washing machine, Nick amuses two nuns and there's pudding.

15/08/221h 11m

The rise of the chipmunk

This week, Nick and Carol go star spotting, listen to a hospital machine rocking out and hear of some unpleasantness at a tourist attraction

02/08/221h 2m

Never next to a pool

This week, Nick and Carol actually give some pretty good advice about renting or buying a place to live, Nick goes on a controversial night out and Carol recovers from a bender.

25/07/221h 5m

Bopping in the shop

This week, Nick and Carol get up on the good foot, Carol promises not to behead her waiter, Nick decides where not to go on holiday and they help out with rude people.

18/07/221h 0m

Rethinking dogs

This week, Nick and Carol hitch a lift, Carol gets her fur rubbed the wrong way and Nick admires vandalism.

11/07/2258m 19s

Carol’s got a code id her dose

This week, Nick gets a drink in prison, Carol makes a stink and they compare plastic surgery and star signs.

04/07/221h 1m

Nick and Carol do art

This week, Nick and Carol take in the view, Carol makes a legally enforceable promise, they help with the ringing in your ears and avoid watching snuff videos.

27/06/221h 3m

The Restaurant Incident

This week, Nick gets crowded, Carol has a long lunch, they both give surprisingly good holiday advice and suggest where not to stick a camera.

20/06/221h 2m

Fun with candles

This week, Carol makes a smell, Nick tries the juice of the jungle, they help someone who doesn’t know whether to speed up or slow down and have an incident with the law.

13/06/221h 3m

Warning lights flashing

This week, Nick and Carol fix a car, sympathise with Wills, hear noises in their heads and figure out why we are here.

06/06/2256m 23s

Talkin’ proper

This week Nick and Carol help with diction, assist with a broken mirror, decide on a big move and find some lost sunglasses.

30/05/221h 3m

A holiday expert speaks

This week, Nick goes on about his holiday, Carol gets bitten by a thing and there’s excellent advice on getting away from it all.

23/05/221h 0m

The Breast Stroke Issue

This week, Nick and Carol get their certificates, help out a student with his Latin and give great advice on attending an awards ceremony.

16/05/221h 1m

Birds, cats and rats

This week, Carol tries to please her fans, Nick gets patted on the head, there’s problems with birds, cats and rats, they have too much choice and go searching for trees and rhinos but not in the same place.

09/05/221h 3m

Blowing in the wind

This week, Nick and Carol explain when it is acceptable to have a small personal accident in front of your partner, Carol gets stuck in a festival, Nick tries to stop electricity leaking out and they both help with an eating problem.

03/05/221h 10m

Artificial unintelligence

This week, Nick and Carol decide whether not play tennis or golf, Carol gets assaulted at the airport, Nick sleeps in late and they both get some paella in.

26/04/221h 5m

That’s a fat cat!

This week, Nick and Carol order a low alcoholic beverage, help and insomniac, peer at a dripping tap and have trouble on a train.

19/04/221h 5m

Peanuts stuck in your teeth

This week Nick and Carol help out with a dental problem, wonder whether to risk a holiday and Carol fails to hit an important button.

11/04/2258m 9s

Rocking, not rolling

This week Nick and Carol share a lack of love for Shakespeare, construct a forbidden playlist and help out on the school run

04/04/2252m 59s

Eating dirt does you good

This week, Nick and Carol watch something stupid, there’s advice about chewing gum and keeping your hands smooth and Carol’s hubby gets an indecent proposal.

28/03/2259m 42s

Shooting potatoes

This week, Nick and Carol help with other people’s dogs, get pedantic about grammar and make a racket walking down the street.

21/03/221h 1m

Snogging in the coal shed

This week, Nick and Carol help a Nigel, Nick finds it hard to remember anything, Carol shares too much and they learn when you can’t have any pudding.

14/03/2257m 44s

Chucked out of parliament.

This week, Nick and Carol help a dissatisfied radio listener, battle a big fly, accept cookies and go (separately) to have a drink in the Houses of Parliament. Guess which one got thrown out?

07/03/221h 3m

Don’t swallow that gum!

This week, Nick ad Carol protest that they ain’t done nuffink, Carol buys something huge by mistake, Nick admires the view from the edge and they both overdose on cookies.

28/02/221h 8m

Fun with dairy!

This week, Carol is back from her holidays, Nick gets an offer he might refuse, they help find a person’s mojo and there’s party fun with the contents of the fridge.

21/02/221h 0m

The problem with babies

This week, Nick and Carol get updated, Carol defends her wardrobe, Nick is attacked while driving and they have excellent advice for friends of new mothers.

14/02/221h 4m

The least helpful episode of all

This week, Carol paints her nails, Nick drives round Croydon and they compare there’s a guessing game about holidays.

07/02/221h 5m

You saw a mouse? Where?

This week, Nick and Carol help someone who takes their life in their hands driving through Croydon, deal with rodent issue, remember the last time they cried and upset a Garry.

31/01/221h 10m

A tip: Don’t tip twice!

This week, Nick and Carol help a person with a LOT of problems, get shown to a bad restaurant table, discuss forcing people to watch Carol on the telly and Nick makes a mistake in a cab.

24/01/221h 8m

The 100th Episode!

This week, Nick and Carol go shopping, help an unread writer, discover something weird about Nick and about Carol’s pen pal. Plus, their favourite clips from the past 100 episodes, including the all-time most requested moment.

17/01/221h 14m

A bit too much happiness

On the 99th episode, Nick and Carol make someone laugh at a vaccinator, help a worker whose colleagues are too cheery and another whose flatmates are too messy and Carol recalls what happened in a previous life.

10/01/221h 7m

The Proper Stopper

In this week's Christmas special Nick and Carol are full of festive spirit and help a LOT of people. No, really.

20/12/211h 3m

Doing stupid things

This week, Nick remembers not to turn left and Carol goes under the influence, they help with a mother's texting, hiding the presents and chopping down trees.

12/12/211h 7m

The latest f*****g episode.

This week, Nick and Carol go to the doctors, bleep out the rude bits, suck water out of the air, advise an old thrill seeker, choose a table in a restaurant they can't have and tell someone how to avoid a friend's boring husband.

06/12/211h 14m

Don't tell your boss!

This week, Nick and Carol think you should keep some things to yourself, decide not to go to the theatre, plan an escape from jail and Nick gets cold while Carol gets sexy.

28/11/211h 9m

50 years too late

This week, Nick and Carol help someone who needs a time machine, over-share, crash into things, spot a James Bond lookalike, try not to pick fights with airline stewards and spot some mimers.

22/11/211h 13m

Drifting

This week: Carol overindulges, Nick gets done for going backwards, they take a trip round a festive tat sale, help someone addicted to calling the radio and give bad career advice to a lawyer.

15/11/211h 9m

The Land of the Frozen Poop

This week, Nick and Carol send their pizzas back, help with some winter blues, get asked to go on Strictly Come Dancing, find the best place for your toothbrush, and pick the safest place on a sled.

08/11/211h 14m

Don't eat that bun!

This week, a dive into Carol's CD collection, getting the other half to rake the leaves, being weird while shopping, paying a ransom for your doodle and something awful in a burger joint.

01/11/211h 10m

Snogging the boss

This week, Nick and Carol talk about being inappropriate with the management, getting wound up, Punch and Judy shows, old James Bond films, insulting your wife and being serious

26/10/211h 6m

An offer you shouldn't accept

This week, Nick and Carol accept rides from strangers, help someone say "missing you", appear to be married and have fun at the dentists.

17/10/211h 7m

Telling your boss what you think

nick and Carol are back and just as helpful as they ever were. This week, getting off Fortnite, boozy lunches, telling your boss what you shouldn't and being slowed down.

11/10/211h 12m

The unreleased practice session

This week there is no new episode, instead this is the tape from June 2019 of the first time we got together after decades apart to try out what became the podcast you know.

03/10/211h 8m

Not ordinary, extra-ordinary

Nick and Carol attack the breakfast buffet, pack for Belfast and sound drunk but it's not their fault.

26/09/2154m 18s

A bad influence

This week, Nick and Carol affect someone's behaviour, help with a toilet issue, knit their own blanket and discover the new Victor Meldrew.

19/09/211h 13m

Nick and Carol for dinner

This week Nick and Carol get invited to dinner but no food for them, worrying news about Thailand, the pregnancy minefield and being intolerant of intolerance.

12/09/211h 9m

The Nickers Issue

This week, Carol is getting ready for her tour but has forgotten something important, Robert Redford tells a joke, there's tips on buying a house and Bryan Ferry touches someone's knee.

06/09/211h 2m

The Kiss of Death

This week, Nick and Carol are a danger to celebrities, discuss not doing dogs and how to be more rock'n'roll playing the piano

30/08/211h 2m

Nick's Birthday Special

This week, what ghosts wear, the boredom of being a barrister, blaming your parents, having an accident and Carol's late for lunch.

23/08/211h 4m

Can you hear me? A History with Nick and Carol.

In this bumper summer edition, Nick and Carol talk drinking on a plane, falling asleep with a stranger, ghosts, fizzy pop, getting your bus pass and the Rolling Stones.

17/08/211h 20m

Lying about your age

This week, Nick and Carol give advice on telling the truth on dating sites, cutting your sandwich in half, selecting a password and arguing with friends.

09/08/211h 14m

So, it is what it is.

This week Nick and Carol get uptight about language, help a man with a dentist habit, attack a spaceman and forget everyone's name.

02/08/211h 13m

The things you can find in a library!

This week, Nick and Carol's hair goes flat, they root about in the picture box, contemplate a breakfast sausage, refuse flip-flops and Carol gets discovered in the last place you'd look.

26/07/211h 8m

Chucking bottles with Sophia Loren

This week, Nick and Carol jump into a hot tub, hob nob with a major film star and buy a yogurt.

20/07/211h 5m

Back to front

This week, Nick and Carol drive on the wrong side of the road, can't start laughing or stop laughing and take the end and stick it at the front.

12/07/211h 5m

Rooting through the bins

This week, Carol is back in France and still complaining, we tackle Sunday builders, fail to water the plants, sing along to the kettle, are forced to accept party invitations and go bowling.

04/07/211h 6m

The Whacky Waving Inflatable Tube

This week, Nick and Carol skip sports, get stared at by a baby, spot a Boris Johnson look-a-like and don't like likes.

28/06/211h 7m

Picking the wrong queue at the supermarket

This week, Nick and Carol endure multiple shop nightmares, get a little something in the post and take a lesson in pronunciation.

20/06/2159m 8s

Unwrinkling your pants

This week, Nick and Carol iron their smalls, exercise under the desk and try to get the world's most annoying song out of their heads.

14/06/211h 3m

Walking naked through a restaurant.

This week, Nick and Carol suffer a wardrobe malfunction (actually, just Carol), an anonymous helper steps into the light, they help a wallflower mingle, are placed on hold a lot and take on an airline executive.

06/06/211h 9m

A tattoo of what on your where?

This week, Nick and Carol get floored by perhaps the best email yet, drop their biscuit in their tea and swear A LOT.

31/05/211h 0m

Pudding for breakfast

This week, Nick and Carol get their eyes fixed, forget where they put their keys, find the booze shelf bare and go on a sausage hunt.

24/05/211h 11m

Where's Cher?

This week Nick and Carol turn their phones very off, talk cruising, almost hang out with Beckham and Clooney and have a mild disagreement about...everything.

17/05/2158m 25s

Sailing close to the wind

This week Nick and Carol finally unravel The Great Red Ball Mystery from last week, find an unflattering thing to say about new cars, try to remember what normal looks like and go in search of their mojos.

10/05/211h 8m

The Great Red Ball Mystery

This week, Nick and Carol fix Saturday Night TV, select some casual wear from the Grattan Catalogue and investigate the hidden device that you didn't know you had.

03/05/211h 1m

Didn't we do well?

This week, Nick and Carol congratulate us all for being good little conservers, Carol refuses to take a call, Nick gets drowned in paper, they eat in the bath and attacked by a Pole.

26/04/211h 0m

Bond...Mr and Mrs James Bond

This week, Nick and Carol get cosy with a super-spy, spot a listening device in their homes, plan to avoid a pub garden and get bored of their friends.

18/04/211h 8m

What species is that?

This week, Nick and Carol get light headed, groan a lot, swerve Zoom and help a man who doesn't know what his problem is.

12/04/211h 9m

How this all started

This week, Nick and Carol remember how they met, forget what it is like to see street life and experience a Japanese toilet.

06/04/211h 13m

Nick's never gonna give you up!

This week, Nick and Carol help a kid with his homework, spend too long in the bath, fight with the census and enjoy lock-in a little too much.

29/03/2159m 27s

Carol hums!

This week, Nick and Carol help with expressing sighs of contentment, playing spot the witch, try edible maggots and definitely don't repeat themselves.

22/03/211h 7m

My brain's all shook up.

This week, Nick and Carol go rollercoasting, catch cows, fight with a kettle and ask the internet for free money.

15/03/211h 4m

Welcome to the future!

This week, Nick and Carol have helpful advice on finding out passwords with an axe and a power tool, marvel at the date and find out how to get maximum value for money from your taxes.

08/03/211h 6m

Learning to love again

This week Nick and Carol bring people together but also pull people apart, find something to do under lockdown and help bring a little grumpiness into the world.

01/03/211h 3m

Someone famous is following me

This week, Nick and Carol forget what they are supposed to be doing and fail at their jobs, try on some very old clothes, look themselves up on the internet and there's swearing in a Scottish accent.

22/02/2159m 1s

Slip sliding away

This week, Nick gets stuck on the ice, Carol finds out where she works, why the TV news always sends weather reporters outside in storms and who is worth nine million dollars?

15/02/211h 10m

Filthy habits

This week, Nick and Carol clear some cupboard space, practice good dental hygiene, tackle armed police and do mental arithmetic

08/02/211h 8m

Nick and Carol do electrical engineering

This week, Nick & Carol get schooled on science, give weight loss advice, peek behind the scenes of a huge TV and groom a pooch

03/02/211h 0m

Excellent names for a rock band.

This week, Nick and Carol come up with some names for a rock'n'roller, fail to tip the removal men and leave the dishes in the sink.

26/01/2157m 58s

How to be not funny

This week Nick and Carol wonder how the world would ever get on without us humans, advise someone who tries too hard to please and say something insensitive (no surprise there).

18/01/211h 1m

The word is: "ritual"

This week Nick and Carol swap recurring dreams, help out a chap whose friend has the hump with him and then compare seats.

11/01/211h 9m

A Christmas Carol and Nick

In this extra long festive edition, Nick and Carol talk baubles, help a man who sees his girlfriend as a fish and stop two brothers fighting in the back seat. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

21/12/201h 15m

Getting your tubes cleaned

This week, Nick and Carol have their homework marked and are told they must do better, find out what goes on in Norfolk and have a major dispute about what to do with jam. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

14/12/2055m 52s

Too much googling

This week, Nick and Carol join the Flying Squad, send a message on a machine from another age, talk Saturday Night TV and help a desperate man in a pub. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

08/12/201h 1m

The all singing episode

This week, Nick and Carol suffer through a blast from the past, help people that don't really need helping and go riding in their cars. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

30/11/2052m 41s

Breakfast in a tin

This week, Nick and Carol start the day the old fashioned way, discuss the desperation of Britain's most famous couple, get a thumbs up from outside their target demographic and get buried in stuff. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

23/11/2054m 24s

Where to find love up a country lane

This week Nick and Carol actually do help someone who has a problem with his car being unattractive to the opposite sex, Carol has technical issues, Nick gets spam, and we learn how to avoid getting your hand chopped off. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

16/11/2054m 59s

Winning the National Lottery!

This week, someone's numbers come up, a chocoholic needs a fridge door lock and drinking rocket fuel. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

09/11/2051m 4s

The sizzling sex episode

This week, Nick and Carol are at the end of their tethers, Carol picks a peck of peppercorns, Nick has a fight with a leaf blower and they both end up s**t creek. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

02/11/2057m 8s

Caught short with nowhere to go

This week, Nick throws a fit in Greenwich, Carol defends herself against criminal charges and they both pick a fight with estate agents. Also, some people's problems are (sort of) solved (a bit). Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

26/10/2055m 26s

Neighbours that go bump in the night

This week Nick and Carol tell those next door to keep it down a bit, try to prevent a domestic incident and don't give up anything for Stoptober. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

19/10/2050m 59s

Carol does her nut

This week, Nick fails to help Carol with a travel issue, Carol goes into plumbing, they both hunt for Nick on the internet and choose the best place to see the world explode. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

12/10/2052m 54s

Carol gets corrected

This week, Nick is asked a fundamental question, Carol receives WAY too much information about airports and they tackle the booze cupboard. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

05/10/2053m 29s

Is everybody happy?

This week, Nick and Carol have a refreshing cigarette break in the surf, help the world with philanthropy and end up back in the toilet again. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

30/09/2037m 24s

Sausages and dingleberries

This week, Nick and Carol agree on a couple of safe words, help a man in a boring occupation become a superhero, finish doing thedishes and answer the biggest question of all time. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

21/09/2050m 28s

Saved by the banana

This week, Nick and Carol go caravaning on water, help a man in Barnsley who has a problem with China and deal with a pain in the neck. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

14/09/2047m 22s

Over or under?

This week, Nick and carol are stuck in the toilet being the paper police, Carol goes cruelty-free and they are asked the most profound question of this or any other time. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

07/09/2039m 46s

Caravanning with Mother

This week Nick and Carol try to help a person that won't say what the problem is, they get locked out but it wasn't their fault and its off to the caravan and mother's coming too, whether you like it or not. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

31/08/2052m 21s

Gone fishing

This week, Nick and Carol bait their hooks, Carol catches a goose and Nick ends up in hospital, there's a dash to the airport and there's a little light trolling. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

24/08/2050m 31s

Toilet roll origami

This week, Nick and Carol inspect a bathroom, say where they thought they'd be in the future when they were younger and less beautiful and they attack selective hearing. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

17/08/2043m 47s

Everyone annoys me!

This week Nick and Carol help someone who is irritated by absolutely everyone after being locked in for so long, tackle the tricky love life of the new normal and make a plan for the rest of your life. They really do help this week! Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

10/08/2041m 32s

Throwing your pint in someone's face

This week, Nick and Carol get an uncontrollable urge, recieve some whining at about Millenials and Carol finds she has a doppelganger, someone exactly like her aaprt from one important thing. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

03/08/2045m 1s

The fresh air between my sheets

This week, Nick and Carol refuse to work harder, dance like no-one's watching, pop into a pub and find a use for the cardboard tube in a toilet roll. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

27/07/2050m 56s

One word: MASSIVE!

This week, after a peek behind the scenes, Nick is subject to a personal attack and Carol answers a woman complainin' about dropped g's, while droppin' her g's and they both finally agree on something! Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

20/07/2045m 0s

Are you after some business?

This week, Nick and Carol get an indecent proposal, suffer the heat in Hong Kong, plan a surprise birthday party and help out a Hi-Fi hoarder. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

13/07/2041m 10s

Shut that drawer!

This week, Nick and Carol come to the assistance of a person who knows a Carole with an "e", that is not as funny as our Carol without an "e", they smooth over a relationship going sour because one person will not close the drawers after him and help out with an arrogant cat. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

06/07/2034m 13s

Letting out gas on a plane

This week Nick and Carol help a man who has got too used to his lockdown life, fail to assist a person with a neighbour problem by going on about the effects of champagne on planes and wonder why evolution hasn't kept up with the human race. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

30/06/2043m 12s

To shave or not to shave

This week, Nick and Carol help a man who thinks his girlfriend has an underarm landscaping problem, we attack backpack wearers on trains, advise on smoking cigars and try to help a person who doesn't need our help. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

22/06/2034m 55s

Keeping tabs on your stuff

This week, Nick and Carol try finding out which accent is funniest without offending anyone, help someone whose partner keeps moving things around and are foxed by a question from a 12 year old. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

16/06/2032m 19s

The perfect excuse

This week, Nick and Carol shout down from upstairs, drive a forklift over men in black hard hats and tackle boring parents. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

08/06/2030m 5s

We can see up your nose!

This week, Nick and Carol help a person who is having their peace disturbed by a Wendy House, ponder about whether bad people know they are bad and the big thing that Zoom users don't think about. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

01/06/2041m 11s

Spelling "HELP" with Alphabetti Spaghetti

This week, Nick and Carol assist a person who wants to be a good neighbor, disagree about food in interesting shapes and aid a man who wants to choose between his wife and his video games. Please subscribe and review! Follow Nick and Carol @NIAbbot & @McGiff

25/05/2039m 50s