Best Friend Therapy

This week on Best Friend Therapy, we're tackling the thorny issue of self-worth, or the lack of it.Emma explores the difference between self-esteem and "others-esteem" and why we can fall into the trap of outsourcing our sense of self to other people.Elizabeth compares her self-worth to a solar panel and reveals why chunky socks are a better way to keep warm. ---Emma references the psychoanalytical theory of object relations and the work of Donald Winnicott: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object_relations_theory---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. ---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

This week on Best Friend Therapy, we are lucky enough to have an access-all-areas, behind the scenes pass to Elizabeth's brand new book, Friendaholic: Confessions of a Friendship Addict, published by 4th Estate on 30th March 2023. She tells us why she felt this subject was one she had to write about, how the language of friendship has been lacking so far and left us ill-equipped to set boundaries and evolve our friendships into something more authentic.Emma talks about the difference between being friendly and being friends, and Elizabeth explains why her previous friendship strategy was all about finding safety in numbers.Friendaholic explores friendship break-ups, ghosting, the fetishisation of friendship in our culture, the impact of social media and why one size does not fit all. We chat about the masks and mirrors of friendship, why we shouldn't judge a friendship by text turnaround times and why we all have to be responsible for spending our friendship budgets wisely. ---Elizabeth references Glennon Doyle's podcast "We Can Do Hard Things", the work of Robin Dunbar on friendship numbers and Frederick Nietzsche on stars.Friendaholic is available to pre-order here: https://amzn.eu/d/7TUbwYG---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. ---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

This week on Best Friend Therapy, we are responding to the many requests we've received for a conversation about therapy itself: when to seek therapy, how to find a therapist, how to become a therapist, where to start and what to expect.Emma shares the path she took from selling perfume to private practice and Elizabeth shares some of her experiences as a client in therapy.---We reference the work of Windy Dryden and you can read more here: https://www.windydryden.comEmma trained at the following institutions: The Gestalt Centre https://gestaltcentre.org.uk, Peter Symonds College https://ahed.psc.ac.uk, Metanoia Institute https://www.metanoia.ac.uk For anyone wanting a taster of Transactional Analysis, The Berne Centre offers a fantastic introductory course: https://theberne.com/ta101---introduction-to-taMind has pulled together this comprehensive resource all about finding a therapist, including how to access NHS services, charities, workplace and educational services and private therapists: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/talking-therapy-and-counselling/how-to-find-a-therapist/HIIT therapy sessions with Emma are bookable at emmareedturrell.as.me or for more on her work on people-pleasing, you can get a copy of her book Please Yourself here: https://amzn.eu/d/hiLPoRL ---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp.---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

TW: Trauma, miscarriage.Welcome back to season four of Best Friend Therapy!We wanted to open this new beginning with a conversation about ending because the two go hand in hand and because grief is a subject that touches us all.It has been one of our most requested topics and we hope we can do it justice, as we discuss aspects of grief such as anticipatory grief, traumatic grief and collective grief, how to support others who are grieving, and how to parent children through loss.Emma explains the the 'concertina' effect we can feel when past losses catch up with us in the present and Elizabeth shares the stories of people she has interviewed, that have helped her understand how to live alongside loss. Not only dealing with bereavement, we cover the ending of friendships, the loss that comes with house moves and empty-nest syndrome, to understand how we can make meaning of grief and why its purpose is also positive.And, if you're grieving right now - know that we see you and you're not alone.---Elizabeth references these books that she has found to be helpful: "A Heart that Works" by Rob Delaney, "The Year of Magical Thinking" by Joan Didion, and "After You" by Natascha McElhone.And you can hear Elizabeth interviewing Mo Gawdat on her podcast How to Fail here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-to-fail-with-elizabeth-day/id1407451189?i=1000436244962---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. ---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Happy New Year from Best Friend Therapy!We're so delighted to be back with you for another year of conversations where we talk about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds.And we're kicking off with this bonus episode on the timely topic of flexibility - from flexibility in exercise, to worklife and relationships. We explore how we can tune in to our emotional equalizers to tell us what we need and what we have to give, as we head into the new year.Emma explains why a balance between acceptance and change is important and tells us why we need to drop the rope and get on the seesaw, and Elizabeth explains what happens when we hyperextend and shares some of the warning signs we can all look out for. ---You can learn more about Myers Briggs here: 16personalities.com or thepersonalitylab.org---This episode is sponsored by Peloton – a fitness experience for your body and mind, so motivating and exhilarating that you’ll come back to it time and time again. Find out more by visiting https://www.onepeloton.co.uk---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. ---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Merry Christmas from Best Friend Therapy! Or not. Because, however your festive season has been this year, and however you chose to celebrate, you’re welcome in this conversation. So join us, as we ease our festive hangovers together (both literal and metaphorical). Special occasions and holidays can be a flashpoint for emotions, and expectation can be the thief of joy. We’re not responsible for other people’s enjoyment of Christmas and yet the pressures to shop, socialise, cook, dress, eat and drink in festive form, can overwhelm even the most hardened people-pleasers among us. Emma and Elizabeth share their best and worst Christmasses and offer advice if you’ve had a tough one this year. And we look forward by looking back, because the Christmas run-up can be one big set-up, and it’s something we can learn from for the future. *genuine hangover advice also provided* --- Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk --- Social Media: Elizabeth Day @elizabday Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

You’ll never be left out from Best Friend Therapy, but if it’s a feeling you know elsewhere in your life, this week’s episode might be for you.We’re talking about FOMO, not being invited to the party, or sitting at home in your pyjamas while everyone else is out having fun (although, this sounds like Emma’s idea of heaven).Born into the world dependent on others and racked with self-consciousness throughout puberty, it’s no surprise that humans are sensitive to feeling left out. We’re here to help you feel more grounded and better able to build connections by becoming the most *you* version of yourself, and starting from a place of self-belonging. We talk about the joy of being left out and the importance of saying no to some invitations, to be able to say yes to the ones that count. Elizabeth admits that she hates Glastonbury and Emma finds her spiritual home in the M&S café. They both also lose the plot when trying to talk about a rustle in the bush and will endeavour to be more professional in future.---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

It’s a bit of a different episode this week, as Emma takes Elizabeth through a live therapy process of dream analysis. Listen along while Elizabeth unpacks her deepest subconscious, meet her happy-go-lucky island and her all-seeing sky, and hear what Emma has to say about the meaning behind the dream. And learn for yourself how to interpret your own dreams, so that you too can unpack the valuable insights that your night-time mind has to offer. ---You can read more on Carl Jung here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carl_JungAnd "Dreams" was sung by Gabrielle, not Annie Lennox. But she did sing "Sweet Dreams", so Elizabeth was on the right track.---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

This week, on Best Friend Therapy, we’re talking about feeling anxious (and we're feeling quite anxious while we’re doing it). Anxiety can take many forms, be it seasonal, situational, or a post-pandemic hangover. As a diffuse term, it's not always helpful, so we’re here to break it down and challenge some of the assumptions attached to those sensations we get when we’re living with ambiguity, coping with life outside of our control or, dare we say it, even a bit excited?Emma shares her blissful morning moments and liberates us to journal in whichever way we want. Elizabeth calls out the anxiety attached to our anti-anxiety efforts and tells us why reality TV is her wind-down go-to. ---Alain de Botton on pessimism: https://youtu.be/Aw1oLtuJOXQ And in case you didn’t recognise Emma’s rendition, here’s the real Minnie Riperton, singing Lovin’ You: https://youtu.be/9I3UTG1dSTc---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

Lots of our lovely listeners have asked us what it’s like to work with your best friend, so this week we’re here to spill the tea. It’s take your bestie to work day.We talk about what we've loved, from sharing a joint purpose, to finding out more about each other (and sneaking off for lovely recording weekends!) We talk about what we’ve learned, including our fear of letting each other down, what our different metrics of success can teach us, and how to keep the relationship at the heart of everything we do.And we talk about how to do it if you want to give it a try yourselves - with boundaries, clear communication and tons of mutual respect.Whether it’s co-parenting or partnering in a business, working with a loved one can be so rewarding and we’re here to share our top tips for making it a success.---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

This week, on Best Friend Therapy, we’re talking about attachments. No, not the Velcro and poppers kind, but the way we *emotionally* attach to other people. We look at the work of psychologists like John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, to get a better understanding of the way we develop expectations of other people, and how we might have created emotional defences to protect our vulnerability.We explain how strategies that set us up for safety in childhood might actually get in our way as adults, when it comes to making successful friendships, romantic relationships and professional connections. Emma tells us a story about a picnic blanket and Elizabeth reminds us of those mice and their cheese machines that we first encountered in Season One. ----This week's references include:"A Short Introduction to Attachment and Attachment Disorder" by Colby Pearce: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Short-Introduction-Attachment-Disorder-Second-dp-1785920588/dp/1785920588/ref=dp_ob_title_bkThe work of John Bowlby: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_BowlbyAnd Mary Ainsworth’s Strange Situation experiment: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strange_situation---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. ---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

This week's episode of Best Friend Therapy *cue gravelly trailer voiceover* tells one woman's courageous journey through the world of online dating, and what it took to survive on the apps... Only joking, Elizabeth, it wasn't that bad! We do discover how good she is at succession planning, however, and we offer our advice for how to navigate all the different dating advice that's available (see what we did there?).Rejection may be one reality of dating but we also look at its potential for data acquisition and self-discovery. We explore how online dating has made meeting people seem more disposable and Emma proposes a new dating app that kicks you off the platforms and into real life. Elizabeth tells us how she went from a definition of eligible as “not creepy”, to being married to the lovely Justin, and brings a voice of hope and understanding to anyone still looking for their Happily Ever After.---Elizabeth references:“The Age of Innocence” by Edith Whartonhttps://www.waterstones.com/book/the-age-of-innocence/edith-wharton/lionel-shriver/9780099511281https://www.sosyncd.com---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Welcome back to Season Three of Best Friend Therapy!We are so delighted to be with you for another season of conversations and this week we’re talking about something that gets a bad rap in our society and is often misunderstood – it’s the feeling of anger and it’s one of Emma’s favourites.We talk about the difference between anger management and anger expression, understand why Elizabeth shut herself in a cupboard and gave herself a good talking to, and we explain why guilt and anger are so often muddled up.We take a magical mystery tour through female rage from Rosa Parks to Lorena Bobbit, stop off with Michael Douglas in Falling Down, and end up at the dog park with Emma and Betty (her golden retriever), to hopefully bring you a better understanding of what anger is, and what it isn’t.---Elizabeth's understanding of anger was informed by:"Anne of Green Gables" by L. M. Montgomeryhttps://www.waterstones.com/book/anne-of-green-gables/l-m-montgomery/9780349009308and:"Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women's Anger" by Rebecca Traister https://www.waterstones.com/book/good-and-mad/rebecca-traister/9781501181818---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Season Three of Best Friend Therapy is coming very soon!We can't wait to be back with you next week, for more conversations about the topics that get us all talking... starting with the things that make our blood boil.Subscribe now and make sure you don't miss a single episode!

Welcome to Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds, and we've come to end of Season Two already!So we're throwing in the towel, we're giving up, we're admitting defeat - oh no, wait a minute, we're not actually quitting, we're just *talking* about quitting this week. Phew!We would never abandon our lovely listeners because quitting is a bad thing... it's an admission of failure... it's a sign of weakness. Right?Well, it turns out we're not so sure and this week we'll be exploring whether quitting gets a bad press it doesn't deserve. Whether quitting can also be an active way to end something with agency. Whether fear of the unknown keeps us doing what we know, even when that unknown could be a better job, a happier relationship or an outcome that feels right.We explore how to quit aspects of a situation if you aren’t ready or able to quit altogether, and we ponder whether, if something quits you, was it even right for you in the first place? Elizabeth wrestles with how to quit therapy and Emma quits trying to save everybody else.---Elizabeth references 'Adapted Child' from Eric Berne's P-A-C model which is brilliantly explained in this text: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Today-New-Introduction-Transactional-Analysis/dp/1870244028/ref=sr_1_2?adgrpid=52680008869&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9ZGYBhCEARIsAEUXITUSzQNTHrxFAt0SFN2S32O6YIlGcfQ533iG6z_dqO5i5w2s9oBuMdYaAmnUEALw_wcB&hvadid=259035468682&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9045783&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=9682401238517000128&hvtargid=kwd-298703266987&hydadcr=3222_1824632&keywords=ta+today&qid=1661272526&sr=8-2You can listen to Eckhart Tolle on Super Soul Sundays with Oprah Winfrey here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/eckhart-tolle-session-the-awakening-of-consciousness/id1264843400?i=1000443295402Elizabeth Kubler Ross on the Grief Cycle: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Grief-Grieving-Finding-Meaning-Through/dp/0743263448Emma uses the Gestalt terms, 'figure' and 'field' and a great introduction to Gestalt psychotherapy can be found here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Gestalt-Counselling-Helping-People-Change/dp/0863881335---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Welcome to Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds, and this week we're doing something a little bit different. We're going down the rabbit hole and we're taking you with us, as Emma therapises the hell out of Elizabeth.Using Transactional Analysis techniques, Emma takes Elizabeth on a journey of self-discovery and hopefully sets you up to do the same. Bring a question or a situation of your own and follow along, as you discover your internal voices and find your way to an Adult way of seeing things. Find out why Emma loves a game of hopscotch, and why you wouldn't want to meet Silvana down a dark alley. ---This episode is based on the work of Eric Berne, who you can find out about here: https://ericberne.comAnd you can learn more about Transactional Analysis in a brilliantly accessible text here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Today-New-Introduction-Transactional-Analysis/dp/1870244028/ref=sr_1_2?adgrpid=52680008869&gclid=Cj0KCQjw9ZGYBhCEARIsAEUXITXUrgNprG_RpeBC-2woMc3QgCJdfhqCTO2i_dkAsPSPWv-_e4s0EBYaAi9OEALw_wcB&hvadid=259035468682&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9045783&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=3426000332817789466&hvtargid=kwd-298703266987&hydadcr=3222_1824632&keywords=ta+today&qid=1661272287&sr=8-2---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Welcome to Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds, and this week we're turning up the volume on some Tammy Wynette (not Dolly Parton, Emma) to talk about D.I.V.O.R.C.E.Stigmatised by society as a shameful failure, or presented as an opportunity to grow and evolve, divorce (as the name suggests) can be divisive. We challenge the notion that a long-lasting marriage is a successful one, draw a distinction between "fair" and "equal" when it comes to co-parenting, and discuss the friendship and family fall-out that can come as a by-product of divorce. Elizabeth shares her personal experience of divorce and takes Emma on a magical mystery tour through Elizabeth's experiences of dating in the aftermath. Roar.---"Conscious Uncoupling: The 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After" by Katherine Woodward Thomas is available here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Conscious-Uncoupling-Steps-Living-Happily/dp/1473619327/ref=asc_df_1473619327/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=310973726618&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14366100668256074437&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1007093&hvtargid=pla-453601331467&psc=1&th=1&psc=1"For One More Day" by Mitch Albom is available here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/One-More-Day-Mitch-Albom/dp/0751537500/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3R5XSEXF4TC61&keywords=for+one+more+day&qid=1660723850&s=books&sprefix=for+one+more+day%2Cstripbooks%2C111&sr=1-1---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Welcome to Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds, and this week we're bringing you a Feelings 101 - everything you ever needed to know about what we feel, why we feel, and how feelings can be our best guides when it comes to meeting our needs.Sadness, anger, fear, joy, jealousy, envy, guilt or shame. Pick your poison. There's a feeling for every situation and an action required for every feeling. This week we join the dots to help you know what action you need to take, to feel more authentic and empowered in life.Emma explains the 'core feelings' and the needs they signal, and Elizabeth tries to disarm her with the cuteness of a baby deer.---This week we reference some previous episodes of Best Friend Therapy: Games, Competition, Imposter Syndrome from Season 1, and Jealousy from Season 2."Good Reasons for Bad Feelings" is by Randolph M. Nesse: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Good-Reasons-Bad-Feelings-Evolutionary/dp/0241291089Accessible and informative summaries of Richard Erskine's work on 'Racket Feelings', Jackie Schiff's work on 'Reparenting' and Eric Berne's 'Parent-Adult-Child' model can all be found in a fantastic book called "TA Today" by Ian Stewart and Vann Joines: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Today-New-Introduction-Transactional-Analysis/dp/1870244028And thank you Merriam-Webster for confirming the true etymology of the 'fawn' response: Middle English speakers adapted an Old English word meaning "to rejoice" to create the verb faunen, which shifted in spelling over time to become fawn. That Old English word, in turn, derives from fagan, meaning "glad." Fagan is also an ancestor of the English adjective fain, whose earliest (now obsolete) meaning is "happy" or "pleased." This fawn is not, however, related to the noun fawn, referring to a young deer. For that we can thank the Latin noun fetus, meaning "offspring." Sorry Liz.---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Welcome to Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds, and this week we're talking about a hotly requested topic - toxic friendships.We talk about how the pandemic reset friendship protocol for many of us, how introverts and extroverts get along, different definitions of friendship and what a co-dependent friendship feels like. We practice using conflict constructively to negotiate healthy friendship boundaries and we tackle that dreaded question, how do you break up with a friend?Elizabeth gets her head around the concept of friendship dating and Emma introduces the idea of a friendship Venn diagram. She loves a diagram.---Elizabeth refers to our first episode of Season 2 about People-Pleasing, which you can listen to here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/s2-ep1-best-friend-therapy-people-pleasing-why-do-we/id1614793299?i=1000570241594Glennon Doyle's podcast "We Can Do Hard Things" can be heard here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/we-can-do-hard-things-with-glennon-doyle/id1564530722---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Welcome to Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds, and this week we're talking about jealousy.Do you have a touch of the green-eyed monster?Well, that might not be a bad thing. Because jealousy can show up to tell us when a relationship we value requires some maintenance - we jealously guard something because it matters to us.Sometimes that relationship will be with a friend or loved one, but sometimes the relationship that needs our attention is the one we have with ourselves. In this episode, Elizabeth and Emma share with brutal honesty the times in their lives they have felt jealous, and Emma challenges the dangerous idea that we should feel flattered or gracious when someone else is jealous of us. Emma reveals her avoidant side and why she'd rather just play in a different sandpit, and Elizabeth reveals that she can get you whatever you need from the Dark Web. JK.---Elizabeth's How to Fail episode with Alain de Botton can be heard here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-to-fail-with-elizabeth-day/id1407451189?i=1000452022015Emma talks about the work of Freud and Bowlby in terms of attachment and object relations, you can read more about it here:https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/best-friend-therapy/id1614793299?i=1000556922612You can listen to the BFT episodes of Shoulds and Oughts and Special Occasions here:https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/best-friend-therapy/id1614793299?i=1000556922612https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/best-friend-therapy/id1614793299?i=1000556922612---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

TW: MiscarriageThis week's episode is on a subject that's incredibly close to our hearts - fertility. We wanted to do it justice by sharing some very personal stories and so it feels important to say that, if you are going through a fertility journey right now and don't feel this is the episode for you, we see you and we will be here for you if you want to come back to it another time. If you do want to listen, we see you too, and you'll hear us talk openly about miscarriage, IVF and the realities of parenthood. You'll hear Elizabeth coin a phrase that everyone has to hear - "fertility privilege" - and you'll hear first hand how to support someone else who is going through their own journey to parenthood.If this episode resonates with you, we hope you feel less alone after listening. ---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

We're back!We're so happy to be coming to you with Season Two of Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds.And we have felt SO bad about having left you for so long. We've been worried that we'd let you down, or you wouldn't like us anymore. So we stayed up all night thinking about how to make it up to you, how to please you... hmmn. Hang on a minute, I see what we're doing here.So this one's for the people-pleasers, the people-pleasers in recovery, and the people who'll avoid the pressures to please at any cost.We talk about why outsourcing our sense of self to others is a risky business, the four (yes, four!) different types of people-pleasing, how to raise your stock at work and renegotiate your friendships, and why straight talking in romantic relationships is the new pillow talk.---Correction: When we're talking about 'heeding the seed', we're referring back to Season One, Episode Three on 'Shoulds & Oughts', not Episode 7 on 'Competition' as Emma thought. So it's 1-0 to Elizabeth. That'll please her. Emma is so passionate about how to stop people-pleasing that she's written a book about it, and you can buy it from all good book stores, but here's a link to make it easy: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Please-Yourself-Stop-People-Pleasing-Transform/dp/0008409374The episode of How to Fail with Elizabeth Day, featuring Emma, was Episode Seven from Season Ten and you can listen to it here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-to-fail-with-elizabeth-day/id1407451189?i=1000513387472---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Welcome to this episode of Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds.Well, we've reached the final episode of season one (sob!) so it seemed only fitting to make this a conversation all about endings. But don't panic, because we also look at the beginnings that follow endings - including the beginning of season two of Best Friend Therapy, which will be here before you know it!We talk about the endings that arose through the pandemic, how friendships and relationships evolve, and what quitting really means. Elizabeth shares a personal experience of bereavement and Emma shares her perspective of grief through a therapy lens. It's not an easy listen at times, but one we hope will help anyone who has experienced loss themselves.We hope that you've enjoyed this first season of Best Friend Therapy as much as we have and would love to hear from you! So why not email us or slide into our DMs and let us know what you'd like us to talk about next time. We'll be back soon with another conversation for the soul but, in the meantime, if you could rate, review and subscribe, we'd be so grateful. ---Elizabeth references "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.Emma talks about the grief cycle, developed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and made famous in her book, "On Death and Dying", in 1969.Both are available from all good book stores. ---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Welcome to this episode of Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds.This episode is all about competition - how it can become a problem when it comes from a place of scarcity and how we can learn to develop an abundance mindset that allows us to reach our goals more securely and meaningfully. We look at competition through the lens of attachment theory and explore the difference between belonging and fitting in.Elizabeth takes a break from training for Paris 2024 to unpack her relationship with jealousy, and Emma tucks into some cheese that she made on her own sustainable dairy farm.---You can listen to Elizabeth's conversation with Brené Brown in Season 13, Episode 1 of How to Fail here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-to-fail-with-elizabeth-day/id1407451189?i=1000547612407Emma references various psychological concepts in this episode, including:Drivers: Kahler, T. (1975). Drivers—The Key to the Process Script. Transactional Analysis Journal, 5:3 http://changingminds.org/explanations/motivation/kahler_drivers/kahlers_drivers.htm#navProcess Scripts: Kahler, T. (2008). The Process Therapy Model: The Six Personality Types with Adaptations, Taibi Kahler Associates, Inc. http://changingminds.org/explanations/models/kahler_scripts.htmReparenting and Redecision therapy: these and many other concepts are covered in this brilliant introduction to Transactional Analysis https://www.amazon.co.uk/Today-New-Introduction-Transactional-Analysis/dp/1870244028There is a wealth of information available about attachment theory but one of Emma's favourite books is: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Attachment-Psychotherapy-David-J-Wallin/dp/1593854560Edit: thank you so much to Gemma who emailed us with a reference for the mice! From the Prologue of: Pearce, C (2016). A Short Introduction to Attachment and Attachment Disorder (Second Edition). London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Welcome to this episode of Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds.TW: eating disordersThis episode is all about bodies - how we can divorce our bodies from our minds if we're not careful, how we feel about our physical appearance and what getting older means for us. Covering areas such as fertility and menopause, social media and dress sizes, we share our relationships with our own bodies on a journey to befriending them, and hope that it can help you do the same.Elizabeth reminisces about a time before exercise was popular and Emma dusts off her leg warmers to resurrect her role as student aerobics instructor.---Elizabeth references an exhibition called "Body Worlds", showcasing the work of Dr. Gunther Von Hagens.---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Welcome to this episode of Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds.This week we're talking about special occasions - from the happiest day of your life to the most wonderful time of the year - and why they're not always what they're cracked up to be. Ironic, given that today is actually Emma's birthday (but don't mention it, will you?)Whether it's a wedding, Christmas Day, a birthday dinner, or simply a Sunday lunch, we talk about why special occasions can bring more pressure than pleasure, and how to design an occasion that's special for *you*.Find out why Emma is allergic to birthdays and take a chilling trip down Memory Lane with Elizabeth, as she relives her magic candle nightmares.---Gary Chapman's book "The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts" is widely available. You can take the Love Language quiz here: https://www.5lovelanguages.com/---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Welcome to this episode of Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds.This week we're talking about Imposter Syndrome and why, if you've ever felt like the odd one out, you're in good company.Join us on an Inception-like head-scratcher as we experience Imposter Syndrome whilst talking about Imposter Syndrome in an attempt to make the episode "good enough", learn why tennis remains Elizabeth's Achilles heel and why Emma will never have a job as a pizza chef. ---Malcolm Gladwell talks about 10,000 hours of practice is his fantastic book, 'Outliers'.https://www.amazon.co.uk/Outliers-Story-Success-Malcolm-Gladwell/dp/0141036257Emma and Elizabeth talk about the original study into Imposter Phenomenon, for which the reference is: Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). The imposter phenomenon in high achieving women: Dynamics and therapeutic intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice, 15(3), 241–247.Brene Brown speaks about belonging versus fitting in within her book 'The Gifts of Imperfection'. shorturl.at/bmxIXThe School of Life has produced a great video on Imposter Syndrome: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqhUHyVpAwE---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Welcome to this episode of Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds.TW: miscarriageThis week we're talking about shoulds and oughts and why we feel compelled to live our lives by some pretty tough rules at times. Elizabeth shares times in her life when structure has helped her to feel in control and Emma explains why criticism can sometimes be tough to take. Correction: Emma did not know that Tetrapak cartons were now widely recyclable. She *should* know better.---Emma refers to personality adaptations in this episode (as distinct from disorders) and you can read more about obsessive-compulsive and passive-aggressive processes in the book 'Personality Adaptations', by Vann Joines and Iain Stewart, available from all good booksellers or at https://www.amazon.co.uk/Personality-Adaptations-Understanding-Psychotherapy-Counselling/dp/187024401X Claude Steiner's book, 'Scripts People Live', offers great insights into the behavioural templates we lay down in early life. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Scripts-People-Live-Transactional-Analysis/dp/0802132103/ref=sr_1_1?adgrpid=51732384845&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIlZWvoZXz9gIVycLtCh08vgU7EAAYAiAAEgKtePD_BwE&hvadid=259059343144&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9045896&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=17815643095787796303&hvtargid=kwd-299710077529&hydadcr=24405_1748889&keywords=scripts+people+live&qid=1648826478&sr=8-1Emma quotes Eric Berne's work on ego states and the Parent-Adult-Child model. You can find out more at https://ericberne.com.---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Welcome to this episode of Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds.This week we're talking about games. Not Monopoly, as Elizabeth discovered, but the shortcuts we take in relationships to try and get our needs met, without even realising.Relationship games are the emotional sleight of hand we use to defend our vulnerability but they rarely get us what we want. Emma explains where games stem from and why they get in our way at work and with friends, and Elizabeth looks back on her dating past to understand that what she'd needed was clear communication, not a soulmate who could mind-read. We also discuss the likeability of cheese.---Emma quotes the work of Eric Berne in this episode. You can find out more at https://ericberne.com/games-people-play/The Drama Triangle, is a model developed by Stephen Karpman and originally featured in his article: Karpman MD, Stephen (1968). "Fairy tales and script drama analysis". Transactional Analysis Bulletin. 26 (7): 39–43. You can read more about his work at https://karpmandramatriangle.com If you're interested in the therapeutic approach of Transactional Analysis, which Emma practices, a great entry point is a book by Iain Stewart and Vann Joines called TA Today, available at all good booksellers or at https://www.amazon.co.uk/Today-New-Introduction-Transactional-Analysis/dp/1870244028---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Welcome to the FIRST EVER EPISODE of Best Friend Therapy! Each week we'll open the doors to our friendship and chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds. And today we're starting with a conversation about something we all need in our everyday lives - boundaries.We explore what boundaries mean to us, how to set them and how to say no. Elizabeth tells us why she says sorry all the time and Emma gives us practical ways to renegotiate relationships at home and at work. Thank you so much for listening and we'd love to hear what boundaries mean for you! (Just don't phone Elizabeth, apparently she *really* hates the phone.) Two best friends. One therapist. Zero filter.---Elizabeth quotes Mark Groves, Human Connection Specialist, in this episode. You can find out more at https://markgroves.com ---Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk---Social Media:Elizabeth Day @elizabdayEmma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrellBest Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy

Best Friend Therapy is a brand new podcast where we open the doors to our friendship to and throw a light on the therapy we all need in our everyday lives. Each week we'll be chatting about a different topic - from coping with anxiety, to setting healthy boundaries; from misplaced guilt to people-pleasing - and plenty more besides. If you fancy joining us, be sure to subscribe now so that you don't miss our first ever episode, coming soon!