S1, Ep 7 Best Friend Therapy: Competition - What does winning mean? Why does it matter? Who are we really competing with?

S1, Ep 7 Best Friend Therapy: Competition - What does winning mean? Why does it matter? Who are we really competing with?

By Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell

Welcome to this episode of Best Friend Therapy, where we chat about what's on our minds, to get deeper in our minds.

This episode is all about competition - how it can become a problem when it comes from a place of scarcity and how we can learn to develop an abundance mindset that allows us to reach our goals more securely and meaningfully. We look at competition through the lens of attachment theory and explore the difference between belonging and fitting in.

Elizabeth takes a break from training for Paris 2024 to unpack her relationship with jealousy, and Emma tucks into some cheese that she made on her own sustainable dairy farm.


You can listen to Elizabeth's conversation with Brené Brown in Season 13, Episode 1 of How to Fail here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/how-to-fail-with-elizabeth-day/id1407451189?i=1000547612407

Emma references various psychological concepts in this episode, including:
Drivers: Kahler, T. (1975). Drivers—The Key to the Process Script. Transactional Analysis Journal, 5:3 http://changingminds.org/explanations/motivation/kahler_drivers/kahlers_drivers.htm#nav

Process Scripts: Kahler, T. (2008). The Process Therapy Model: The Six Personality Types with Adaptations, Taibi Kahler Associates, Inc. http://changingminds.org/explanations/models/kahler_scripts.htm

Reparenting and Redecision therapy: these and many other concepts are covered in this brilliant introduction to Transactional Analysis https://www.amazon.co.uk/Today-New-Introduction-Transactional-Analysis/dp/1870244028

There is a wealth of information available about attachment theory but one of Emma's favourite books is: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Attachment-Psychotherapy-David-J-Wallin/dp/1593854560

Edit: thank you so much to Gemma who emailed us with a reference for the mice! From the Prologue of: Pearce, C (2016). A Short Introduction to Attachment and Attachment Disorder (Second Edition). London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers


Best Friend Therapy is hosted by Elizabeth Day and Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp. To contact us, email contact@bestfriendtherapy.co.uk


Social Media:

Elizabeth Day @elizabday

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell

Best Friend Therapy @best.friend.therapy
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