The Failing Writers Podcast

Some will be sad. Some may be happy for what has been. Many will call it an “end of an error”. Well, you know what, they might all be right. This week we share some of our old writing from years ago, as we bring season two to an end… ish. We say “ish”, because we promise be back soon for a one-off special, in which we’ll be pitching our Poker Night comedy project to a TV exec. But until then, goodbye and thanks for listening!

Comedy star Lucy Porter joins us this week, to have a good old natter about comedy, quiz shows and cephaloporn. Plus she throws a few shiny pearls of wisdom in along the way too.  Fancy seeing Lucy on tour? https://www.lucyporter.co.uk/gigs/ Fancy seeing Lucy in an embarrassing ad?   Digital Cell Phones TV Commercial 2000 youtu.be Any other links we need??? I don't know. Should we delete this bit? Yes, probably. On it...

A little bit of a spooky special this week, as we reveal the winner of our Trick or Tweet Halloween writing competition and we welcome author of The Book Eaters, Sunyi Dean, on the show. We have a lovely chat with Sunyi about her writing, vampires, the world of publishing and few other things too.      Check out Sunyi's great blog here - https://sunyidean.com/   Buy Sunyi’s excellent debut novel here: https://uk.bookshop.org/books/the-book-eaters/9780008479442 Sunyi’s inspiration for her blog: https://www.kameronhurley.com Sunyi's recommendation for writing emotional connection: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Emotional-Craft-Fiction-Beneath-Surface/dp/1440348375  Get yourself in a write panic, right here - https://www.squibler.io/dangerous-writing-prompt-app/ - Check out our twitter for all the Halloween stories - https://twitter.com/failingwriters/status/1581891373933830145 

This week we're after some tips and tricks to help us when we pitch our Poker Night idea. So, we've asked Sakia Schuster to come on. She's worked for loads of TV companies over the years, and is now Head of Scripted at Fullwell 73 Productions. It's fair to say that she knows her onions. And we're going to take some of those onions, and unwrap them... hoping that they don't make us cry.  

Well, we weren't actually going to do an episode this week. What with our various domestic dramas and general time shortages, we thought our time would be better focussed on doing more work on our Poker Night project. So that's what we did... until we had an idea, that we just had to share.     

We celebrate National Poetry Day with some “free writing”, as we go for a little paddle in the stream of consciousness. Four minutes of furious writing which we are brave stupid enough to share with the class.  We also take the opportunity to share one last favourite from our love story competition.  And here's a link to our lovely special guest's lovely book https://www.waterstones.com/book/where-theres-muck-theres-bras/kate-fox/9780008472894

Our love story flash fiction competition (in association with the delightful folk at Scrivener) comes to a thrilling finale as we announce the two runners up, each winning a copy of the fantastic Scrivener software - AND our £300 first prize, gold medal, top of the class, cream of the crop, tippity of the toppoty, overall winner - as chosen by our lovely guest judge; comedian, and author of the Breakup Monologues, Rosie Wilby! Enjoy!!   Check out our supreme courting judge’s book here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Breakup-Monologues-Unexpected-Joy-Heartbreak/dp/1472982304 And her fabulous podcast right here: http://podfollow.com/breakupmonologues Get your hands on probably the bestest writing software EVER! And get 20% OFF with the code FAILING https://www.literatureandlatte.com   Oh, and many thanks to our lovely voice actors - The inimitable Alex Hall and of course Katie Rand. http://www.alexhallvoice.com https://randmade.co.uk

Have you entered our Love story flash fiction competition? Well, we're announcing the winner next week, but this week we're giving you a sneek peak of some of the entries for which we've fallen head over heels. They might go on to win or we may read others that we like more as we digest our way through the mountain of entries. Either way, we just thought that these were too good not to share. So, are you sitting comfortably? Then we'll begin...     And a link to Scrivener (get 20% off by using the code FAILING) https://www.literatureandlatte.com/store/scrivener?tab=macOS  

This week, a guest we're expecting doesn't show up... and we've got no other time to record the show. So, we just have to go with it, put our big boy pants on and deliver some high quality, unscripted content. You can probably guess how that went. Or maybe you can't, and you're still going to listen. Which we thank you for.      Loads of great writing comps at https://www.globesoup.net/ And a link to Scrivener (get 20% off by using the code FAILING) https://www.literatureandlatte.com/store/scrivener?tab=macOS  

We thought it was time we got a bit of expert advice from a professor of sitcomology, to help us progress our Poker Night project (which we've been regretting making the focus of this season for some time now). So who better to get than the bloke who is the author of the book Writing Television Sitcoms, Prof Evan S Smith?   And, there's only one week left of our writing competition!! So, hurry up and get your entry in to failingwriterspodcast@gmail.com for your chance to win £300, thanks to our friends at Scrivener! The beat sheet article Evan talked about - https://scriptmag.com/features/comedy-writing-every-script-deserves-good-beating Evan's book - https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/304655/writing-television-sitcoms-by-evan-s-smith/ www.literatureandlatte.com - get 20% off Scrivener using the code FAILING      

Having trouble developing your characters in your writing? Well, we are too. Thankfully though, Jon has had a clever little idea that we explore in this episode. Will it be helpful? Who knows. Will it be worth an hour of your valuable time? Probably not. But you're going to listen anyway, aren't you? Admit it, you're a little bit addicted to the Failing Writers Podcast. Go on... one more listen won't do you any harm will it? You could quit whenever you want. Course you could.      Find our most favouritist writing software, Scrivener, right here - www.literatureandlatte.com (and remember "FAILING" will get you 20% off!) See if you have a personality here - https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test    

Looking for all the info on how to enter our £300 competition, brought to you in association with Scrivener? Well, you’ll find it right here - along with a tale of two Rands. Our very own Jon Rand and American playwright Jon Rand. Two completely different people… or are they??  Find the other Jon Rand here https://jonathanrand.com/ And a link to Scrivener (get 20% off by using the code FAILING) https://www.literatureandlatte.com/store/scrivener?tab=macOS 

Interviewees. Every podcast needs good interviewees. And with a little understanding, you can find the perfect chap - that's when good interviewees, become good craic. This week we talk to Aussie comedian and novelist, Benjamin Stevenson. Talking about his fantastic new book, "Everyone In My Family Has Killed Someone (spoiler alert - everyone from the family in the book has probably killed someone), getting optioned by HBO and we also talk about his even better unpublished work "Not Expecting Dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom".  Plus, there's details of our upcoming writing comp, where you can win hundreds of pounds!!!      Here's a link to Benjamin's book - https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/452671/everyone-in-my-family-has-killed-someone-by-stevenson-benjamin/9780241594933 And a link to Scrivener (get 20% off by using the code FAILING) https://www.literatureandlatte.com/store/scrivener?tab=macOS 

As well as having a lovely, lovely chat with Janice about her romantic fiction work, we also subject her to our own "love" stories. She's kind enough to offer her thoughts and feedback on all three of of our stories, as (unsurprisingly!) we push back the boundaries of romantic fiction to breaking point.    https://thebackpackinghousewife.com/   https://romanticnovelistsassociation.org/

This week we are honoured to welcome Emmy award winning writer David Quantick. We talk window goats, having big ideas, getting the sack and chat to David about the reams and reams of amazing work he's done. It's fair to say we think this episode is Quanticky AND quality.      LINKS   https://davidquantick.com/ The first EVER internet sitcom "The Junkies" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFOayYFu7Fs That Star Wars bit from "The Thick Of It" - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cg-pnGFbwMQ New novel "Ricky's Hand" - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Rickys-Hand-David-Quantick-ebook/dp/B09DV2CVCB “How to Write Everything” https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Write-Everything-David-Quantick/dp/1783191031 “All My Colours”, David's novel about a failing writer:  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41840158-all-my-colors

This week we unironically appoint ourselves as judge Judy and executioner when it comes to deciding what constitutes "good" and "bad" writing. We wade, like treaclenauts through the metaphorical linguistic molasses, to address profligate supererogatory expatiated prose as well as the down right boring and clunky – in a quest to get to the bottom of the question; “So, what exactly makes bad writing bad?”

It's finally Dave's turn to lay bare his work for the other Failing Writers to critique. Will he be happy with the advice he receives? Will Jon and Tom enjoy his work? Will Dave just have a tantrum and decide to quit writing for ever? Well, we’re not going to tell you in the show notes are we?! You’re gonna have to go and have a listen! Plus, we also have flash-fiction-meister Tim Craig back on to have a chat about his debut book (link below if you fancy buying it).     BUY TIM'S BOOK HERE!!!  https://bookshop.adhocfiction.com/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=65&products_id=235 And we gave a nudge to Anuj who very kindly added us to his Feedspot.com list of writing podcasts.  Nice one Anuj.  https://blog.feedspot.com/writing_podcasts/

This week we're joined by a lovely chap by the name of Paul Quinn. He's just won a rather interesting "Best Unproduced Screenplay" award for his script, Pushing Daisy. So, we have a chat with him about where he's been on his writing journey so far and where he hopes it might take him in the future.          

Writers... erm... thingy. Does it... erm... errrrrr... y'know, is it a wotist. A thingy-majig. Or not? We answer these perfectly formed questions and many, many, many, many* others in this week's thrilling installment of The Failing Writer's Blockcast.      *we probably only answer about two other questions if we're honest -  but let's not pretend you thought otherwise. https://www.decodingcreativity.com/ Write Without the Fight: Master Your Creative Process to Write with Ease & Satisfaction - preview: https://amzn.to/3bmjzBb

This week we have a chat with Joanna Penn - author, podcaster, entrepreneur - and she shares her views on the business side of writing and being a successful author. Really interesting stuff!      https://www.thecreativepenn.com  Let us know what you think of this AI voicing stuff https://deepzen.io/      -- 

This week we acknowledge that maybe our group writing project isn’t exactly racing ahead (surprise, surprise!) and try to actually get things moving on our stalling Poker Night sitcom. Plus we also have nice little guessing game, as Jon introduces a mystery guest.  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Started-Swipe-Shelly-Smith/

This week it's Jon's turn to open himself up to some honest feedback from the other Failing Writers - and also, somewhat bravely, from an unfailing writer too. Will Jon just want us to leaf him alone? Will his story take root in our imaginations? Will Dave and Tom's critique sap Jon's enthusiasm or is their bark worse than their bite? (Will anyone read this far or will they give up due to all the awful tree puns?) Find out, in this week's exciting instalment of... The Failing Writers Podcast!!      

This week we talk to Nels Abbey, author of Think Like a White Man, and mostly cover all the same old subjects really. You know; stripper politics, Jim Davidson, Didcot Parkway and how to solve racism worldwide. (We also definitely don't give a plug to the release of the paperback verison of Chris Palling's A Very Nice Rejection Letter either).    https://twitter.com/nelsabbey  And if you want your very own copy of his wonderful book, to love and cherish and keep forever, you can... https://www.amazon.co.uk/Think-Like-White-Boulé-Whytelaw/dp/1786894343 

So the time has come for Tom to get some honest feedback from Jon and Dave, as he bravely submits his silly little sales book for appraisal from his fellow podcast hosts. Take a listen to find out what they thought of it, what Tom thought of what they thought of it, and what they thought of what Tom thought of what they thought of it. And if you're brave enough to make it through to the end, there's a lovely little surprise for all you tree lovers out there......    

We have a fantastic, illuminating and thought provoking chat with Will Storr this week. Delving into the human psyche and our fundamental core need for storytelling and narrative. Plus we continue to progress with our joint writing project for the season and Tom gets persuaded to share his work with Jon and Dave so they can offer "constructive criticism" next week. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Will_Storr https://twitter.com/wstorr https://www.thescienceofstorytelling.com/

In preparation for finally actually, maybe, starting to possibly begin to put pen to paper on our TV comedy pitch - this week we have a chat about our favourite (and less favourite) sitcoms and comedy dramas.    

This week we welcome author, comedy writer, performer (and all round massively talented) Emma Kennedy on to the podcast. We find out about her writing, she throws a few home truths our way and she gives us some good old fashioned advice as we start out on our Season 2 quest to write a sitcom comedy drama. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emma_Kennedy https://twitter.com/EmmaKennedy https://www.waterstones.com/book/letters-from-brenda/emma-kennedy/9781529371970

In this episode we discuss writing competitions. And linked into that, we talk with a few people involved with The David Nobbs Memorial Trust - a bursary scheme that Dave entered recently (spoiler alert... he didn't win, but we speak to the person that did, Zoe Tomalin). We also have a delightful chat with trustee Margaret Cabourn-Smith, to find out more about the trust and its aims.     David Nobbs Bursary Website: https://www.davidnobbsmemorialtrust.org.uk Writers HQ website - for writing competition listings: https://writershq.co.uk/writing-resources/writing-competitions-and-submission-opportunities/

We're honoured to have one of our favourite writers on the podcast this week - as we welcome Jeremy Dyson. He shares some fantastic tips and a fair few 24-carrat-knowledge-nuggets with us too. So, sit back... relax... and soak it all up. League of Gentlemen: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/video/detail/B00ET0LXIU/ref=atv_dp_season_select_s1 Funland: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Funland-William-Windom/dp/B07C45J6YK The Cranes That Build the Cranes https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6738208-the-cranes-that-build-the-cranes Ramsey Campbell ghost stories: https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/32463.Dark_Companions

Big ideas, rude t-shirt slogans, misplaced confidence and our infallible master-plan – The Failing Writers return for season 2 of their potentially award winning podcast. 

So, we're back! And this time we're having a BIG idea. (Hopefully. At some point. Maybe. If we get round to it).

Some people are on the podcast* - they think season one's all over... it is now!!    *(those people would be Adrian Poynton, Caimh McDonnell, OMJ Ryan, Andy Stanton,  Beth Chalmers and Simon Griffin - to whom we offer our thanks for dropping back in to have a catch up with us).    Thank you to everyone who has listened to, supported and championed the podcast in our first season. We've had a great time putting it together and can't wait to bring you more thoroughly average chit-chat and moderately interesting happenings in March!    Happy new year!!  Music by Dano Songs (and Jon & Tom & Dave)

The end is nigh. The first part of our two part End of Season Spectacular sees us catch up with some of the guests that have helped make The Failing Writers Podcast one of the best (and as yet, pretty much undiscovered) podcasts of the year in the whole wide world. We have a quick catch up with poet Kate Fox, novelist Chris Paling, comedian and author Rosie Wilby, fabulous flash fictioner Tim Craig, children's author Adam Bushnell and international spy Tim Glister.  Music by Dano songs

Wrap yourself in tinsel, stuff 12 pigs in blankets in your mouth and get yourself comfortable to listen to this festive treat. In this seasonal spectacular, we proudly present the Failing Writers Podcast Panto (ohhhh yes we do!) and also a journey back through our first season, via some of our favourite songs from the series, in our top ten silly little ditty countdown (with a mystery celebrity DJ presenter!) Enjoy... and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!  Music by Dano Songs (And Jon and Tom and Dave)

Sally Wainwright OBE joins us on the show this week! What do you ask a multiple BAFTA award winning screenwriter with an impressive string of hit TV series to her name; like Happy Valley, Last Tango in Halifax and At Home With The Braithwaites? Oh really? You’d have asked her that?  OK… OK… So... nothing about her bus driving career and her favourite crisps? You sure? Music by Dano Songs

Undaunted by our ignominious failure in the previous NYC midnight flash fiction competition, we once again put ourselves through the short story wringer and present our writing for all to see and to praise/laugh at/mock/experience as an epiphanical life changing moment (delete as appropriate). And as well as giving our honest, frank and uncompromising feedback on each other’s 250 word "masterpieces", we also wrap up our NaNoWriMo adventure and review some writing software while we’re at it.  Find out more about NaNoWriMo here... https://nanowrimo.org/ Scrivener here... https://www.literatureandlatte.com/scrivener/overview And the HG Wells story that Jon blatantly ripped off is here... https://www.gutenberg.org/files/23218/23218-h/23218-h.htm Music by Dano songs

So, this week its' time to have a little chittertychat with Mr Simon Griffin, author of F*$%ing Apostrophes'. We talk about review's and how Simon pretty much almost became an author by accident! Enjoy's! Find Simon's lovely book here https://iconbooks.com/ib-title/fucking-apostrophes/ And, now Jon's little feature is finally off and running, you can find David Lucas' book here https://www.amazon.co.uk/Uprooted-Vietnamese-Familys-Journey-1935-1975-ebook/dp/B019DIW1DS Music by Dano songs  

We're pretty lucky that Jon's writing hero responded to his somewhat serial killer-esque letter of invitation in the affirmative, rather than pursuing it further through legal channels. But all's well that ends well! We had a proper funty time with Andy, his chair and loads of really good insights into "the craft". (Fortunately we managed to keep Jon from embarrassing himself and letting it slip that he's actually got an Andy Stanton shrine in his downstairs loo... oh, and that he nearly called one of his kids Jammy Grammy Lammy F'Huppa F'Huppa Berlin Stereo Eo Eo Lebb C'Yepp Nermonica Le Straypek De Grespin De Crespin De Spespin De Vespin De Whoop De Loop De Brunkle Merry Christmas Lenoir).   Find the wonderful world of Mr Gum here  http://www.mrgum.co.uk/ See Jon's...um...not at all creepy letter to Andy here https://www.failingwriterspodcast.com/blog/why-jon-wanted-andy-stanton-on-the-show-so-bad/ Music by Dano songs

We talk to Tim Glister, who is definitely not a spy. And he tells us about when he REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED at Cambridge Analytica, as well as the time he REDACTED. But what's probably most interesting is the REDACTED REDACTED and the REDACTED, with an ostrich feather umbrella.    Find out more (or at least as much as one can for such a secretive character) here https://www.timglister.com/ And buy his fabulous new book right here https://bit.ly/30aJaY1  Music by Dano songs (and Jon)

We invite poet Kate Fox back on the podcast to critique our work and help us improve our poetry. Which Failing Writer will come out on top? Find out in this week's exiting episode. (That's not a typo. After listening to our poems, you'll be pretty keen to leave). Enjoy dearest listener, enjoy!   If you're joining in with NANOWRIMO (or doing any writing at all) here's that handy little tool to stop you wasting time selecting character names.  https://www.name-generator.org.uk/ Music by Dano Songs 

Congratulations to the winner of our Halloween Flash Fiction competition! What? You don’t know who that is? Well, sounds like you need to get your old flappy head trumpets round this episode doesn’t it? Enjoy! Music by Dano Songs

Crazy kids names, rejection, tortoises - that's what writing for children and inspiring them to develop a passion for reading and writing is all about. We catch up with children's author Adam Bushnell to find out a bit more about writing for kids, teaching teachers and... well, look, we're not just going to tell you everything that's in this episode, are we? You'll have to listen to it.    http://www.adambushnell.co.uk/ https://www.wigtownbookfestival.com/ Tips for watching Jon perform Shakespeare - https://academyoffencingmasters.com/blog/fencing-with-glasses/ Diary of a bookseller - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGFljyfORi8   Music by Dano Songs

Thinking. It's hard. And this week we prove it. Join us at the start of a journey of creation. Like the big bang... but probably significantly smaller in terms of impact on the universe. And before you listen, try to guess which Sunday evening TV classic that we decide would be better equestrianised.  Music by Dano songs...and Jon

We welcome super talented (and all round super nice chap) writer and illustrator Jason Cockcroft on to the podcast to talk about his latest book, We Were Wolves. And, not to be outdone by Jason's fancy pen work, we try and draw a cow.     Jason's artwork - https://www.thelittleyellowbird.co.uk/ We Were Wolves book - https://www.waterstones.com/book/we-were-wolves/jason-cockcroft/jason-cockcroft/9781839130571    Music by Dano Songs  

It's here and we want you to be part of it! Our £100 Halloween flash fiction contest is now open! Just listen to this episode to get your ears round the phrase you need to include in your entry... and get writing! Plus, we've got fantastic flash fictioner Tim Craig on to give us all a few top tips on how to write great micro fiction stories. Enjoy! Find out more about our guest here https://twitter.com/timkcraig More short form top tips from this fella (not to be confused with the other Gaffney) https://www.davidgaffney.org/ Music by Dano Songs

This week we've got a big announcement, a great interview with Rosie Wilby, author of The Breakup Monologues, and there's also a rather sizeable announcement. Oh, did I mention we're announcing something? That's in there too.   Find out more about our fabulous guest here https://www.rosiewilby.com/ You can get her even fabulouser new book here https://www.amazon.co.uk/Breakup-Monologues-Unexpected-Joy-Heartbreak/dp/1472982304 And listen to her ridiculously fabulous (though not quite as fabulous as ours) podcast here https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-breakup-monologues-with-rosie-wilby/id1310409996 Have a go at writing for an hour with the, um, writers hour https://writershour.com/ And finally, get all the details of our BIG ANNOUNCEMENT here https://www.failingwriterspodcast.com/blog/    Music by Dano songs  

This week we yet again prove we couldn't arrange an over consumption of alcoholic beverages in a place that makes alcoholic beverages, and we do it in the company of a special mystery guest who's primed and ready to give us some honest feedback on some previous writing we've done. It's all very exciting.     https://www.amazon.co.uk/Deadly-Caller-gripping-thriller-Detective/dp/B09F1CZTKS/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr= Music by Dano Songs

Another great guest this week, in the form of Gillian McAllister. Sunday Times best-selling author, with the TV royalty seal of approval from Richard and Judy, she chats about her journey, her work and the philosophical musings of Taylor Swift. Read all about Gilly here https://gillianmcallister.com/ Buy her latest smash hit best seller here https://www.amazon.co.uk/That-Night-gripping-psychological-thriller/dp/1405942444/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr= See her on the Richard & Judy Book Club here https://www.richardandjudy.co.uk/ And listen to her on The Honest Authors Podcast here https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-honest-authors-podcast/id1194154338 Music by Dano songs 

In this week's bl**dy episode, Jon reviews the mega-f***ing-successful screen-writing guide "Save the cat" - and then we have a motherf***ing chat about swearing. Listener discretion is f***ing well advised.  https://savethecat.com/ https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/aug/20/bloody-loses-its-place-atop-swearing-lexicon-as-british-use-of-expletives-falls Music by Dano Songs

Well, despite somehow failing to record the first 30 minutes of the interview, we still manage to have a rather interesting chat with TV comedy scriptwriter Adrian Poynton about his work and his adventures in the world of American TV in Los Angeles.  Music by Dano Songs

After entering a micro-fiction contest Tom, Jon and Dave rather maturely consider the judge's feedback, and deal with it in a level-headed and sensible fashion. Kind of. Apart from the stupid bits where the stupid judges stupidly got their stupid facts wrong. Welcome to Whingefest '21!  Music by Dano Songs

Some people thought it couldn't be done... they were wrong. Some said no-one would be daft enough to turn up... they were wrong too!! And some people said we wouldn't be able to create the greatest story EVER with nothing more than our wits and a willing audience. They were mostly possibly right, but it didn't stop us having a right old load of fun trying. Enjoy!!  Music by Dan-o Songs

It's a half and half treat this week! Half book review ("The Hidden Tools of Comedy" by Steve Kaplan) and half interview - a lovely natter with novelist, and writer of "A Very Nice Rejection Letter", Chris Paling. In addition to this we obviously also briefly discuss Lion dressage.    https://www.chrispaling.com/ https://www.kaplancomedy.com/product/book/   Music by Dan-o Songs

Ouhhhhhhh... it's a spooooooky horror episode! This week we present back our short horror stories. Then we try and teach Dave how to give something marks out of ten. (We have no idea if we did a good job of that. I mean, he gave us an 7/10... but who knows).  

This week we're joined by the superb Kate Fox, poet extraordinaire. Kate shows us around the secret world of poetry, enjoys Dave's catchphrase (I mean, what right thinking individual wouldn't?!) and she definitely doesn't violently drown someone shortly after chatting with us. Plus, Kate reveals which famous comedy favourite she inspired to get on stage and tell some gags. https://katefoxwriter.wordpress.com/ Music by Dano Songs

This week, we talk to brilliant thriller-mystery-horror writer C.J. Tudor. Topics covered: Dog walking, the 1980s and what it's like when one of the biggest authors in the world decides to say something rather nice about your book. Music by Dano Songs 

This week (as the more astute of you may have gathered from the title of this episode) we talk about rejections – including a surprise for Tom and Jon that Dave has been keeping up his sleeve for over a decade! Plus there's an exciting announcement about our first live show. Enjoy! Music by Dano Songs

This week we talk to multi-talented writer Caimh McDonnell about hecklers, dogs and successful self publishing. And we witness a huge moment in the history of podcasting; the release of Dave's brand new catchphrase!     https://whitehairedirishman.com/podcast/ https://whitehairedirishman.com/caimhs_books/ https://davidgaughran.com/ Gary Delaney - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qja1VIOBVcs    Music by Dano Songs  

What's a log line? How are they useful? How should you do them? These are all questions we really should have considered before recording a podcast about them. But as you'll hear, we get through it ok and actually find it really useful in the end. Plus, look out for an exclusive "arboreal narrative" reveal from Jon and the real highlight of the whole episode; Dave trying to be cool by making sounds like he's about to swallow a wasp. Music by Dano Songs  

We thoroughly enjoy a lovely chinwag with Beth Chalmers this week. She's a hugely successful writer with sketch shows, dramas, programmes like Horrible Histories and much, much more to her name. We talk about what goes on behind the scenes, the pitching process and eventually we manage to squeeze some top tips out of her too. Enjoy!! Beth's current TV series "Mystic" (co-written with long time collaborator Amy Shindler) is currently on the iplayer https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episodes/m000kxr2/mystic   Music by Dano Songs

In this week's audio smorgasbord (let's call it a smaudiosbord), inspired by our chat with OMJ Ryan in episode 7, we present back our first pages of our best-selling crime novels and then we have a bit of a natter about reviews - whether they're good, bad... or should just be blummin' ignored. We also find out about the time that Jon got blacklisted from the local writer's group and shortly after that, Dave unsuccessfully tries to find a book for 15 seconds.    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outliers_(book)  Music by Dano Songs

This week we talk to crime fiction author OMJ Ryan and we find out the answer to questions like; What happens when you quit your job to become an author? What do you call a competition where you have to dig up hidden snooker balls? And, what happens when you give a critical review of a book written by the person you're currently interviewing, which you thought was anonymous but it turns out it wasn't?! Awkward! (But also hilarious). Oh, and DON'T MENTION COATS.    https://www.omjryan.com/blog-avenue https://www.amazon.co.uk/OMJ-Ryan/e/B07RSZS4BP/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coats_in_detective_fiction Music by Dano Songs 

This time out, we talk about our "work in progress" and then touch upon important issues such as houmous on nipples, one of us being a better director than George Lucas and take the challenge to see if we can tell the difference between things written by us or by a super smart AI computer. Thanks for listening.      Links from the show...    Make your own pretend person. Maybe print it out and frame it, pop it on your desk and pretend you've got a friend!  https://thispersondoesnotexist.com  Music by Dano Songs    

Due to recent events we’ve had to swap our episodes around a bit. So this week we’re using our experience as advertising creatives to discuss creativity and where ideas come from. Then we take a long hard look into the future and begrudgingly welcome the unstoppable rise of our, soon to become, robot overlords Useful links TED talk on creativity - https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_harford_a_powerful_way_to_unleash_your_natural_creativity The Creative Penn Podcast. (12th Feb) episode https://www.thecreativepenn.com/2021/02/12/the-artist-in-the-machine/ Tom Scott’s YouTube AI generated episode  https://youtu.be/TfVYxnhuEdU 'Sunspring' short Sci-fi film: https://youtu.be/LY7x2Ihqjmc Write your own story/get AI to write one for you here shortlyAI.com Music by Dano Songs

Well, here it is. The episode literally no-one has been waiting for. Packed to the brim with smut and naughtiness, with a few rib-ticklers thrown in for your enhanced pleasure. Plus some very high quality chat about our worst jobs ever. Enjoy! (Well, try to enjoy it... or just lie back and think of England, it's up to you).  Music by DanoSongs

This week we have a good old fashioned chin-wag about our ongoing writing projects – including a unique take on the murder mystery genre and a truly amazing idea for a play. Then we seamlessly segue into talking about the time Dave and Tom met a Hollywood big-wig... and probably slightly embarrassed themselves. Oh, and we make foolish promises that will no doubt come back to haunt us all in Episode 4 next week. Music by DanoSongs

This episode sees us bravely digging out our embarrassing teenage poetry and sharing it shamelessly with the world. We talk about what writing we're trying to work on at the moment and a few other fantastically interesting bits and bobs as well. Which is nice.    Music by DanoSongs

In our first ever episode we have a chat about why we started the podcast, we talk about those little things that prevent us from becoming internationally renowned bestselling authors and about how we write. There's a bit more waffle in there too about various bits and bobs... but, y'know, it's our first ever podcast, give us a break.  Music by DanoSongs

Tom, Jon and Dave welcome you to the Failing Writers Podcast. Come on a journey of self-development with us as we attempt to transform ourselves, and maybe even you, from failures to nailing it-ers. Listen to this first to find out what it's all about. Music by DanoSongs