Heart UK

The F Plus

The people over at r/EscapingPrisonPlanet are obsessed with the concept of something called "Loosh". So what it loosh? Well, we read about it for about 45 minutes and we're not sure. What we do know is that they consider themselves vaguely gnostic and haven't really read a book before, but they have seen the extremely ugly Seth Rogan movie Sausage Party, and that's given them all the religious text they need.
This week, The F Plus makes the penis fit, but should it?

415: Prison Planet Sausage Party

It's the first episode of 2026! What better was to celebrate the new year than an episode that won't mention 2025 at all. This episode of cryptocurrency songs was recorded in September 2024, and is now ready to be released to your podcast wallet. The only criteria for inclusion in the document is that the songwriter mentions Bitcoin at least once, so there are pro-Bitcoin raps, anti-Bitcoin protest songs, and some steampunk bullshit found its way in there, too.
This time, the F Plus asks why won’t you let me play my gaaaaaaaaames?

414: Songs On The Bzock Chain

So, pretty much every chain restaurant has its own subreddit, and we''re gonna look at at least half a dozen in this episode. From annoying customer complaints to terrible menu ideas to lots of poop problems to conspiracy theories, and even time for poetry at the end, this is really the Rax Salad Bar of F Plus episodes.
This week, The F Plus is a purely transactional podcast.

413: Episode Royale (Without Cheese)

Named after its founder, The Keshe Foundation speaks of something called “Plasma”, which has absolutely nothing to do with any definition of the word you've ever heard previously.  There's also something called GANS, which is entirely new state of matter which has been named using a heretofore unprecedented method for writing an acronym. So what do “Plasma” and GANS do? Well, they cost money. But apparently they cure Coronavirus? So that's nice.
This week, everyone in The F Plus needs a way to distinguish their cummycups.

412: Dr. Keshe and the Plasmaniacs

You probably don't know what The Pooh's Adventures Wiki is, but as of this episode, it has over 80,000 pages. Comprised mostly of fanon crossovers with other popular media franchises and embarassing self-inserts, this is a wiki where eventually all of popular culture can exist parallel to Tigger.
This week, The F Plus enters the Ryaniverse.

411: Winnie-the-Pooh Meets The F Plus

Rosemary Doll is an online retailer of sex dolls that cost $2,000 or more apiece. And in addition to many many horrifying yet extremely funny photos, it also hosts a forum where sex doll enthuasiastscan talk about how great their lives are and yet how all the men on this forum seem to experience constant aching disappointment for some reason.
This episode, The F Plus will say "tossed so half a day come in" and you can't even stop us.

410: The Lifeless Eyes of Sexual Purgatory

Eva Draconis has had sex with multiple transdimensional lizard beings  (Reptilians, Orions, and regular old dinosaurs) including a red Dragon Turtle named Hamish who she communicates with telepathically, and who sleeps in her bathroom on a rug and gets jealous of her Sims characters. And I know you're thinking you've heard all of this before, but just wait til we get to the bologna sandwich.
This week, The F Plus gets waterboarded, no big deal.

409: I ❤️ Hamish

Shortstory1 is an extremely prolific author of (appropriately enough) short stories, mainly horror one-shots or absurdist premise pieces. Are the stories well written? Absolutely not. Are the stories good? Depends on your definition of good. Are the stories entertaining? Extremely so.
This episode, The F Plus thinks you're beautiful... in your own way.

408: The Short Stories of Shortstory1

The website niteflirt is a directory of phone sex operators, all of whom are looking for customers interested in paying them $2 a minute (minus fees) for a phone call. As you'd expect, the operators are primarily interested in financial domination, and many of them have profiles that are fun, but we're most keenly interested in Goddess Eriko who wants to introduce you to the concept of freedom through slavery.  You see, Eriko wants to improve your life, and how that works is, you give her money. The end.
This epsiode, The F Plus watches the pilot episode of Just A Couple of Fuckholes.

407: Bangin' On The Telephone

The subreddit of r/morbidquestions is (I suppose) meant to ask and answer thought-provoking yet dark questions. However, this is a subreddit, so therefore most of the questions are stupid edgelord nonsense, and the replies are banal upvote jockeying.  But there's a lot of posts, so we've got plenty to work with.
This episode, The F Plus wants to know: Is Christmas Carol a good porn name?

406: We Found The Stupid Questions!

RAW Confessions is an anonymous confession site with very lax moderation. Naturally, this means the content on this website is extremely dire. So what you have is anonymous people sharing anonymous opinions that run the gamut from "pregnant women shouldn't have sex" to "The Matrix is trying to turn me gay" to "I'm in love with the electric chair".  Buckle up.
This week, our mom lambasted us for releasing 405 episodes.

405: Confessions In The Raw

At some point in the 1970s, an American named John Swigart changed his name to Aajonus Vonderplanitz, insisted he had a PhD, and started writing books insisting that people should eat raw meat exclusively. Then he died. Later, a group of redditors started r/rawprimal, where the #1 rule is "You cannot give advice that Aajonus didn't already give first." The result is what is very possibly the dumbest group of motherfuckers we've ever covered on this show.
This episode, The F Plus observes The Moldy Berry Protocol.

404: I Got Sick From Raw Meat!???

Jo Joe Skies started a forum. On that forum is a single thread. That thread has 300,000 replies. If we exclude the posts made by bots, each and every post is Jo Joe Skies replying to himself with a new important message. What kind of things does Jo Joe Skies post? Well, if I told you the forum's color scheme is yellow on cyan, does that give you an idea?
This week, can The F Plus live with you? Can The F Plus move in with you right away?

403: Jo Joe Skies In Stroke Trouble

Okay, so here's the premise: Neal sent us a document of Magicakal Recipes from Plentiful Earth, and Smallest Sasquatch sent us a document annoying nerd reference recipes from various blogs. And while each of those selections are irritating on their own right, we decided to see what would happen if we did both of them at once.
This week, the F Plus  needs to apologize to Turkey.

402: Magickal Preambles & Dumb Dork Recipes

While the internet has made us more interconnected, the world remains a massive place. And travel is a way to build a greater understanding of The Human Condition: To live among others in unfamiliar settings and experiences, you can learn more about yourself, and grow to be a more compassionate and empathetic person. Like, hypothetically. Or you could just go on Trip Advisor and write a poem about getting drunk in Cabo San Lucas. Your call.
This week, The F Plus is all DIRTNASTY.

401: Travel Morons

One night, Lemon and four ridiculists read a document made entirely from stories from Not Always Right which were tagged as "inspirational". Then (six months later), Lemon and four other ridiculists read the exact same document. This episode is the result of those two recordings.
This week, The F Plus is releasing our 400th episode which means we have to show up two hours early and get thrown right into the mix with no time to sit down and make a cup.

400: The Inspirational Stories of Not Always Right

We're only one episode away from our 400th episode, and we're gonna spend it on the quadfecta of tumblr, reddit, fandom and deviantart. Today, we're looking at the Reality Shifting community - people who are certainly not dreaming (oh no no no), but they're using their own positive intentions to transform themselves into a completely different and better world (like the kind where you have an orange), while your clone body does all the chores your mom keeps bugging you about.
This week, The F Plus also likes the pop culture thing you like. Enjoy!

399: Check This Shift Out

The term "Lightworker" describes a person who.... uhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... so uh, let's see, there's energy? And there's injustices in the world? Okay, it's not really clear, but the thing we've learned is that there's a community of people who call themselves lightworkers whose have no purpose other than to give a purpose to other lightworkers who have no purpose. Is that clear?
This week, The F Plus bought tickets to see Horny n' Sleepy.

398: I Am The Light In The Dork

Replika is a service that provides AI-powered "artificial companion" chatbots to sad and lonely redditors, who then will immediately try to use it to talk about Harry Potter and indulge in their fetishes. They will then opine about the nature of consciousness, and the results aren't great.
This week, The F Plus is taste so gooding.

397: w[ai]fu

While their name might confuse you, the NoPoo community is actually dedicated to abstinance from the use of shampoo. They have all realized that by not using any cleaning product in their hair, they will all end up with hair that is healthy, luxuriant, and beautiful. So their only question: Why is my hair thinning, waxy and smelly?
This week, The F Plus is tried for warcrimes at the Showerhaig.

396: No Poo For My Real Friends

The Anal Only Lifestyle is a community where heterosexual men who only like one thing  can overshare about their hyperspecific sexual fantasies, brag about how great their lives are going, and opine about the futility of the female vagina. It gets real gross real fast, but if you make it to the end there will be quite a bit of poetry!
This week, The F Plus needs to prepare you for a shareholder meeting.

395: This One Is Exclusively About Buttsex

The promise of the website Spells of Magic is very compelling: Over 16,000 spells to help you do things like turn into a dragon, make friends with a dragon, look like a dragon, or be a mermaid (who is also a dragon). And while that all sounds great, Tadashi and Nekoshema are in the comments and... well, they've got bad news for you.
This week, The F Plus buys tickets to see Dub Mumbledoor.

394: These Spells Don't Work

While potentially obscure, Natural Body Magic is an oblique and unhelpful term which describes a specific fetish for the removal and displacement of various body parts which then go on to live separate and individual lives with their own consciousness. The people in this fetish community will insist that the whole "cutting a person up" obsession isn't indicative of anything, so... let's consider this episode a counterargument.
This week, The F Plus reads all of Victor's favorite sentences.

393: The Whole Thing Comes Right Off

When looking for writing advice, who better to ask than the helpful Redditors at r/fantasywriting? That is a rhetorical question, don't bother answering it.
This 👏 week 👏 The 👏 F 👏 Plus 👏 doesn't 👏 use 👏 commas 👏👏👏

392: Fantasy Writers on Reddit

The formalized lottery exists in most of the United States and lottery tickets are purchased at a rate of more than $100 billion a year,  yet when it comes to the matter of actually winning the lottery, we're supposed to believe it's all random chance? Surely the people at Lottery Post know better; It's a forum where people share lottery numbers and lottery number systems, and we can confirm the numbers totally work, except for the whole "winning the lottery part", but other than that, they're great.
This week, 4.

391: Your Winning Lottery Numbers

Well, it seems we haven't explored all the ways that Reddit can encourage its own userbase to cause irrepairable harm to their own bodies and minds in the pursuit of sexual gratification, so let's continue our journey with r/estim; It's a subreddit for "Anything Erotic Electro Stimulation", and a place to watch people make their own lives worse on purpose.
This week, The F Plus has some work for a very desperate notary public.

390: Do Not Advocate For Unsafe Play

The subreddit of r/CreepyEncounters is a place where redditors post true stories of lived experiences that are disurbing, strange, paranormal, or somehow otherworldly. I mean, ostensibly. In our experience, the stories are dubious, meandering tangents of fictional self-inserts that frequently fail to meet the definition of "story". But if you were looking for a preamble of what an allyway is, you're in the right place.
This week, The F Plus wanted mythological beats, but Socretes is just a man.

389: Creepy Encounters With Total Idiots

We just learned that Bubblegum Fetish is a thing, so we're going on a world tour. After learning a bit more about the fetish, we're spending a considerable amount of time with a man who needs to fulfill his very particular fetish in an Amsterdam brothel, then it's over to Girls Ask Guys before we buy some ABC gum and then finally close out with an erotic story that surprisingly has actual sex in it.
This week, The F Plus gets arrested trying to smuggle Super Bubble into Schiphol.

388: Confessions of a Bubble Slut

This episode is all about medbeds. So what is a medbed? Well, first of all it isn't a bed, so let's just get that out of the way right now. It's possibly an MLM scheme, or maybe it's a bucket, but sometimes it's a mobile phone app that takes a picture of your bed, which may or may not prevent and cure all diseases.  Do you have any questions? Great, so do we. In fact, this episode is mostly us asking questions.
This week, The F Plus learns the true meaning of Technotronic's Pump Up The Jam.

387: MedBed: The Bed That Treats

I really don't know how the people of royalcello dot website toolbox dot com found each other, but they've found each other. And all of the posters here believe in a single inalienable right: The Right To Rule, or rather, to be ruled, sometimes by royalcello himself who gets very testy if you say anything unkind about Charles III. Look, none of the people featured in this episode know much (if anything) about The Monarchy, but they do know they like it, and at least one of them knows The Hapsburgs belong in Spain.
This week, The F Plus wants Catherine The Great to sit on our face.

386: No Gods, Yes Masters

This episode is about pee fans such as fannywatcher, uniloo, Wet Man J, Iron Bladderman, Greedy Needy Girl, P155wet, girlwipes, Slick Gracey, Miss Piss, wet wulf, Al Fresco, and MegaPoop Tech. I'm just writing down those usernames because I found them all very funny.
This week, The F Plus learns the term for a manager who is somehow also a woman.

385: Pee Fans

Self described appleist Brian Frange has some serious-assed opinions about different types of apples, and he wants to share all of them. And that's... honestly, that's entirely what this episode is about, Brian Frange's opinions about different types of apples.
This week, The F Plus sees a tasty unwipe anus.

384: The Angry Apple Nerd

Song lyrics are an indelible part of our collective cultural confidence, but can often be a puzzle. For all of these popular songs, what do the lyrics actually mean? Well, we're visiting SongMeanings.com to hear a bunch of bad theories explained amongst infighting and sex bragging.
This week, The F Plus is with the bear, and the bear is with the bear, and the bear is with the boat (you nimno).

383: What Is The Meaning of Song?

Let's speak honestly for a moment: We're all intelligent, thoughtful, sexual beings, right? And as such, we desire intelligent, thoughtful, well-written pornography, don't we? I dunno, but anyway here's some crap.
This week, The F Plus learns the meaning of banal anal.

382: Good Reads for Bad Needs

Of course, there's a lot of different ways for people to internalize their own effect on the environment, but the subjects of this episode have become super horny about it. We're starting things out on clips4sale reading the description of videos where women pollute the environment, then over to F List for some perverted pollutin' profiles, and finally closing with some Lorax/Fern Gully slashfic that probably didn't need to happen.
This week, The F Plus is a maybe on canonballing.

381: Let's Pollute The Planet!

Project DigiClipse may or may not be a cult founded upon the spiritual belief in the childrens' cartoon Digimon. And it's time for us to learn more. We're starting at Facebook, but moving into several forums thru the ages to listen to brothers and sisters of the faith testify.
This week, The F Plus get head from Gurlemurglemon.

380: The Gospel of Digimon

I know, we were surprised as well. But here we are, visiting r/UnpopularOpinion and it turns out there's some bad opinions in here. We weren't gonna watch what happens, but it says "watch next".
This week, The F Plus stands still and moves the goalposts around.

379: Unpopular Opinions? On Reddit!?

Okay, so for this episode the plan was for us to read the worst-rated stories on Creepypasta.com, but we spent like half that time on some dude's insistence that his boner for the Venom symbiote is the cure for liberalism.
This week, The F Plus vows to never turn left again.

378: The Worst Creepypastas

Are you looking for love? Well as it happens there's a lot of people on Reddit, so that's probably a good place to start. We're going to be looking into a few different subreddits for personals ads, including r/cf4cf (childfree hardcore) r/AgeGapPersonals, r/VirginityExchange, r/MBTIDating and r/RandomActsOfBlowjob in search of available singles, and we're going to learn exactly why they're single.
This week, F Plus is offering distance kink education.

377: Your Chance At Love Has Been Removed By A Moderator

Good news everybody! The forum members of OverUnity have solved all our energy problems. They've created perpetual motion machines, 3 million terawatt batteries, balloons which are heavier than lead and other assorted contraptions that provide much more energy than they'd ever require. Only one problem: They can't tell you any specifics, because of Google. We're spending an hour and a half solving all the world's problems, and we're getting rich besides.
This week, The F Plus will sue you if you infringe our Boomer Blocker® patent.

376: The Secrets of Infinite Energy

If your chakras are all out of wack and you're in the market for new ugly jewelry, Skydin Zeal would love to be your supplier. The owner of a website with where every single word is printed in every single color (and with bevels and gradients besides) you may get lost along your way, but when you're done you'll lose weight because your flatware will physically prevent you from eating.
The week, The F Plus wants one of those big pussy cars like what Joey Rembrandt paints.

375: Brought To You By Magic Spoon

Health & wellness is a complicated issue, and so is the butthole, but fortunately this is an issue that combines both those things. This is an episode of enema recipes - from coffee to dish soap to cocaine, and all points in between, and we're going to have a whole lot of fun with this until Auntie Flo shows up. Also apparently Lemon is a boomer for the first half of this episode? Gross.
This week, The F Plus takes a handful of Debbie Downers.

374: This One Is Mainly About Butt Chugging

The redditors of r/SemenRetention are believers in a clandestine warfare they believe has been waged to keep down the underclass by continually robbing them of their semen. These true believers therefore are determined to maximize their personal inventory of semen... by any means necessary.
This week, The F Plus summons The Aetheric Ass.

373: Private Lessons in the Cultivation of SEX FORCE

Loohan doesn't care much for Reptilians. Or anyone else for that matter. You see, Loohan's general worldview is... actually, really hard to suss out out. He believes in space monsters, and religious conspiracies, and some weird race/gender stuff we cut out of this episode, but he has the intellectual thruline of a streetcorner man wearing a sandwich board. It's a delight!
This week, The F Plus needs to consult with The Committee.

372: Loohan vs The Lizartarians

Rather than describe what's happening on The Crytpidz Wiki, I'll let the site describe itself: 

Cryptids are monsters... except that cryptids could actually exist! When talking about Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster you're talking about something that could live right on this Earth right now! On Cryptid Wiki, we document all of the possible information you can get about cryptids and determine if they're real or not.

This week, The F Plus likes Utah, and that's pretty dang interesting!

371: Hopscotch Goblin

Hucows (a portmanteau of "human" and "cows") is a word to describe a special kind of lactation fetishist — a gender-divided community (the cows and the farmers), who are into the idea of woman as lactation machines. And sure, you assume this community is bonkers, and you're right, but there's still a number of surprises in here.
This week, The F Plus wants you to punch our milk bags.. NICE!!!

370: I Am Hucow, And I Need To Be Milked

In 1996, Diana The Valkyrie set up a website using raw HTML and her own computer in order to provide erotica for people who like the idea of strong women crushing weak men. And now, 25 years later, there's an entire library of material, plenty of it absolutely horrific... If you're new to The F Plus, just be aware this one gets pretty brutal pretty quickly.
This week, Kathy Lee Hulks Out, so just like... prepare yourself emotionally for that.

369: Destroy Weak Men

In 2012, Dr. Seuss' widow and the Despicable Me company released a movie called The Lorax. It is entirely valueless, but that's not the point. The point is that the movie had a skinny boy who sang and Tumblr has horny girls on it and so the inevitable happened: The Once-ler Fandom. It mostly involves a character with no traits whatsoever making out with clones of himself. But also, there's a weird part?
This week, The F Plus trades our panties for a half a peck of sanity.

368: Not Even Once-ler

After over 15 years of cultivating some of the dumbest questions The Internet has ever pondered, a series of truly horrific business decisions forced Yahoo Answers to shut down permanently on May 4th of 2021. Our memorial episode may not be timely, it may not be well thought out, and it may not be informative - but in all those ways, this episode is representative of Yahoo Answers itself.
This week, The  F Plus is burning all our documents (but unrelated to that, Jeff had a fantastic orange)

367: Goodbye! Yahoo! Answers!

Hang on, didn't the F Plus do a Mandela Effect episode before?  Well, this reality has us going to the r/MandelaEffect subreddit, before realizing that r/Retconned is even stupider and spending all our time there instead.
This week, The F Plus is gonna drink Goldschläger until the loaf shifts.

366: Let's Do The Time Loaf Again

Inteligence iz a u konw, relativ concept, and of absolutely kinda relativ uz. While many wudd venerate intellect and self-determination as key factorz of absolutely living a ful life, dere are otherz hu feal, like, such qualitiez are inherently unladylike. Now, dat may be concerning enugh by itself, butt it'z even more concerning when yah consider people are geting a boner fwom it. WE're spending ur evening on Tumblr and looking dwugh a absolutely considerable amunt of feederism in order to transform into bimboz.
Thiz weak, Thi F Pluz believez in ya. U can do it cockbwain!

365: The Bimboification of The F Plus

The Urban Dictionary defines sploshing as “a sexual/sensual food exchange, in which at least one person covers another person in foods of different tastes, textures, and temperatures.” So with that, let's go to Shokolada's Messy Story archive and get ourselves properly gunged.
This week, The F Plus opens our panties for you.

364: Sploshing Sploshing Sploshing! Oi Oi Oi!

Predating some of the more well-known question and answer sites, the website Advicinators dates back all the way to 2003, and it hasn't changed a whole lot in the decades since. Teenagers will ask a question, typically about sexual health, and "columnists" will offer advice, typically unhelpful. And then at the end, we'll play a game about what site we're on.
This week, The F Plus gets a real nice Fing Ring.

363: Here Come Da Advicinators

Jeroen Wagemakers has a fetish, and he's been blogging about it since 2006. You see, Jeroen likes perms, but like, a lot. A whole lot. It really cannot be overstated how much Jeroen loves perms, and I know that because he's been trying to do just that for 15 years but he doesn't seem to be nearly done.
This week, The F Plus makes a joke once or twice.

362: A Permanent Predilection

The Sorceress Cagliastro is an author, a teacher, a necromancer, a bloodwitch, a haunted doll maker, a 3D printmaker, and a relentless huckster. To that end, she has a whole lot of crap you can buy and classes you can take, as long as you promise you won't ever share anything you've learned with anyone else. It's a blood oath, I suppose.
This week, The F Plus is filling your head with graveyard dirt.

361: Night of the Blood Sorceress

Do you have alien-human hybrid children you've never met? Well it turns out that simply reading this means that you do. We know, we were surprised too. We're visiting the Hybrid Children Community - a group of people of similar class and ethnic makeup who want to tell you about their imaginary children. And then they want to share recipes.
This week, The F Plus is screaming with a huge smile.

360: All My Starchildren

This episode is all poetry, and that poetry is entirely sourced from Fetlife.
This week, How more intense is The F Plus' hunger, Cameron?

359: It's Time For Erotic Poetry

The Dream Fiction Wiki is a place where people work very hard to catalog, annotate and describe fake things that never happened. And while this may seem like a useless exercise, the actual determination of "which fake thing is a canonically real fake thing" is a topic that has caused a significant amount of drama in the community.
This week, uhhh.... so what's this episode about?

358: Fighting Over Nothing

None of the websites we read in this episode are still online outside of archive.org, but all of them follow one basic rule: Every conspiracy theory must have been written before 50 Cent's In Da Club. In stark silence, do you hear children crying?
This week, Victor finally wins an episode.
Lemon's note: I'm still very much interested in an Artainment cassette. Contact me.

357: Vintage Conspiracy Theories From 2002 Or Earlier

-----
thoughts drift by:
-----
< alt.fan.dragons is over 25 years old >
< indifferent to time, immortal beings reside >
< saying dumb shit with weird formatting >
--
TheFPlus*

356: Dragons On Usenet

Rather than looking at a single website, we're going on a world tour to experience SWEATER FETISH in lots of different places: Custom-knitted skintight wool catsuits, gay sweater kindle singles, people who get off on feeling itchy, people who haven't had a woman talk to them in over two decades... it's all here, and it's all very hot. But not in that way, in the other way. Whichever way you're thinking of, it's the other way.
This week, The F Plus isn't enjoyable (except for the sweater parts) if you are a straight (not gay) guy. Why do all podcast episodes have to be gay?

355: SWEATER FETISH

The Aesthetics Wiki has devoted itself to the cataloguing of hundreds and hundreds of aesthetics and subcultures which are seemingly identical to each other. This may seem like a pointless excercise, but that's just because you're being real Grandparentcore right now, and I'm experimenting with Darkest Academia.
This week, The F Plus is trying to get your attention. BLUT BLUT BLUT BLUT!

354: This One Is For My Gull Girls

The people over at Rainwear Central have a fetish for rainwear. Whether it's ponchos or mackintoshes, wellingtons or sou'westers  – they've got a lot of words to write, and they're all written with a British accent. Bunnybread is the only person in this episode who is able to do a British accent, but unfortunately that doesn't stop the others from trying.
This week, The F Plus is fit to tit.

353: Boobs In Raingear

For years, a Tumblr user by the name of Sylphiste was trying to turn normal brains into galaxy brains with his pontifications on conformity, pop music, feminism, hostile alien invaders, psychiatry, dragons, The Mandela Effect, and things tagged "red pill" for no good reason.
This week, The F Plus is teddity tubbily Reddited.
Side note: This episode was recorded on February 5th, 2021 - before the deaths of both DMX and Shock G (better known as Humpty Hump), and thus those jokes end up oddly timed. Shock G will be missed.

352: We're All Prisoners On A Borg Ship

The Fake Countries Wikia is a place where people can catalog countries that are not real, have never been real, and have never appeared in any piece of fiction or writing before this wiki. As an excercise it's not the most fruitful, and we intended to read about a whole bunch of different countries, but pretty quickly we found our home.
This week, The F Plus meets The Alley People.

351: Hail Britannica

Similar Worlds is a website where users can share their own allegedly true life experiences in a quest for acceptance, comfort and camaraderie. Naturally, this means going off on insane rants and getting really excited about being strangled by nerd thighs.
This week The F Plus sees two things, but mostly your vagina.

350: The Similar Worlds Project

I don't know what you'd expect when visiting MC Stories Dot Com, but what you'll end up with is a minimalist website hosting over 12,000 stories of mind control being used for sexual reasons. Some of these stories are very long, but fortunately some are really weird, so let's dig in.
This week, The F Plus is feeling electrahorny, so let's have sex... with each other!

349: Erotic Stories of Mind Control

The heavily art directed magickians over at BECOME A LIVING GOD have a number of products they'd like to sell you, and about half of those are supposed to help you get laid. There's a slut water kit, PDFs that call themselves grimoires, and there will be time for poetry.
This week, The F Plus ensourcles Ally Sheedy The Character (not Ally Sheedy The Person).
SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM PORTAXX: Hello again! After this episode I entered a frozen hell and saw the face of the Lord of the Flies himself. It looked like Ü. Terrified, I had to capture the moment before making my heroic escape.

348: Do Not Summon Beelzebub

Men love to go on the internet and compare length. In this case, it's just their hair. We're going to be surfing The Information Superhighway and logging on to The Men's Long Hair Hyperboard; a community which has been supporting long hair-having men since at least 1997. It's actually kind of charming.
This week, The F Plus wants you to call us to let us know when you're not posting.

347: That Hyperboard Over Thair

There's an amazing array of food out there in the world today, and yet we're still struggling with the question “How can a person get fat?” But, fortunately, “Doctor” Feeder has taken it upon himself to answer that very question... Provided you're a woman with not a whole lot of clothes on.
This week, The F Plus is taking The Wall Test.

346: How To Get Fat

Crucially, this episode is not about the television show Supernanny. It is about the Supernanny Fanon Wiki, a website with over 10,000 pages devoted to alternate universe fanfiction wherein it's the near-future, but the only cultural touchstone worth documenting is what happened in these fictional episodes of the television show Supernanny and its spinoffs.
This week, The F Plus will see you at The Creepy Zoo.

345: Thisepisodeis Verycrazy

The website MeetFighters is a social network for men who want to inflict pain on one another. This manifests in a number of different ways, plenty of them horrifc, and at least one involving President Abraham Lincoln.
This week, The F Plus is gonna punch that dad dad.

344: Meet, Fight, Jizz.

Chris Cantelmo is no longer with us, but his teachings remain. He described himself as a Yale Biochemist who, at some point in his life, started taking DMT and had some profound revelations about God. And has it happens, most of those revelations are about DMT itself.
This week, The F Plus has a stroke.... a stroke of genius!

343: Keeping Cantel Moist

You might have guessed, but Root Beer Review is a site that hosts reviews of different root beers. What you might not have inferred is that all of these reviews are (probably) written by the same person, and the other people on the website have opinions, not just on the root beer, but on the person reviewing the root beer as well.
This week, The F Plus smells terrible like vitamins and raisins.

342: Root Beer Advocates

The people on r/LucidDreaming have figured two things out. 1: If they touch the top of their heads while they fall asleep they'll be able to control their own dreams. And 2: Real life sex is absolute garbage compared to dream sex. Sounds like some people with helpful advice.
This week, The F Plus watches out for Wife Killer Man. He killed his wife!

341: Lucid Dreaming For Horny Reasons

The website ayahuasca.com has a forum, and its 21,000 members are (as you might guess) fans of the psychoactive drug ayahuasca. Their conversations are quite profound as they understand both gravity and Antarctica.
This week, The F Plus gets namasty.

340: Everyone Here Is On Ayahuasca

The topic of male circumcision is a contentious one, but fortunely we're able to avoid all of that by simply reading the words of dullards who are doing horrific things to their own skin while complaining about their mothers.
This week, The F Plus would like to remind you foreskin fetish does not make sense because the foreskin is part of a man's sex organ.

339: Afterskin

The capitalist innovators over at Chakrubs have a whole bunch of different crystals to sell you, and they know where you can cram it. From yoni eggs to yoni nunchucks, for spiritual healing, emotional welness, to get over a bad breakup, or just because you're bored - the answer was inside you the whole time.
This week, The F Plus is troubled to hear a click.

338: Let's Stick Crystals Up Our Vaginas

Five lucky ridiculists from The F Plus Podcast were selected to visit the forums of VacuumLand.Org and read what they found there.
You’ll be happy to know that a love of vintage vacuum cleaners totally isn’t a fetish, except for the times when it is.  But they’ve got some pretty incredible vacuum collections that they bring to conventions, and also, eventually, it will be time for poetry.
This week, The F Plus will need you to hide this in your closet for our boyfriend to smell.

337: Living In A Vacuum

The website Bigfoot Eruption has a whole lot of things to say about Bigfoot. Now, Few of those things make a lot of sense, and fewer still seem to be internally consistent, but the important thing is that Cain and/or Adam and/or Satan is involved, it's a conspiracy, and it's not a bear. Pay attention to your dog.
This week, The F Plus gets a lot of milage out of that poo.

336: Hungry Like The Sasquatch

Just thought we'd get to today's news after a quick rundown of our court-ordered recognizance.

klap: Friday Morning w/ Pooner & The Snizz

The redditors over at r/NSFWworldbuilding are constructing intricate creative universes for one reason: To make themselves horny.
This week, The F Plus can say so much with ellipses; please listen.

335: Planet Horny

The forum posters over at Fembot Central are (as you might have guessed) aroused by the idea of robotic humanoid women. And they're all too happy to explore the many facets of their specific fembot obsession, despite how often or how loudly you try to protest.
This week, The F Plus finds out what Joss Whedon has been up to.

334: Doing The Robot

Occultist author S Rob is an incredibly prolific... typist. His work spans the mediums of advice books, spellbooks, instructional videos, essays, general self-aggrandizement and, of course, poetry. We can't cover everything he's written in a single episode, but we can just cover the general tone. Including reading his bio twice.
This week, The F Plus sets sail on the SS Metathree.
Correction: Boots' original reading of S Rob was at F Plus Live 5: The Finnish Incident
Additional correction: Further evidence demonstates that Open University is a legitimate educational institution. Apologies for the assumption, apparently two seconds of Wikipedia is not enough to base a conclusion on in this case.

333: Wyt & Wyttycysm & Wytchcraft

Here's a simple concept: All of the material in this episode was sourced by searching BitcoinTalk for the word "female".
This week, The F Plus (like women) really is a paths duck.

332: Why Don't The Females Understand Bitcoin?

Since 2000, Sex Stories Dot Com has been trying to serve its titular goal: Providing the people willing to look at the website with stories of sexual activity. However, that's not all the site has. There's also essays, product reviews, self-help guides, jokes, and poetry. And that's the stuff we'll be looking at.
This week, The F Plus gives you something to listen to during your 15 minute jerk break.

331: Everything But The Sex Stories

User reviews on Amazon drive a lot of purchasing decisions, so let's have another look at the two most important categories: Cosplay accessories and erotic gay shapeshifter novels. And then when that's done, we're playing The Rites of Price.
This week, our dick plumped.

330: The Rites of Price: Amazon Edition

The forums may be gone, but the stupidity still abounds on the Internet Movie Database. Good reviews of garbage movies, bad reviews of good movies, and generally creepy undertones to everything. There's more blood, boobs, and beasts than a document from National Geography.
This week, The F Plus' pokery is undoubtedly jiggery.

329: Mid Riff Movies

Fapp is a furry erotic tabletop roleplaying game. Now, credit where it's due, they own the domain balls dot horse, which is a fantastic name. However, as you're about to find out, everything they enjoy is profoundly disgusting.
This week, The F Plus requests a court-ordered explungement.

328: You Are Likely To Be Yiffed By A Grue

This time around, we're not just going to one subreddit, but five different subreddits, all of which are almost identical, and all of which ask the question "What if my preposterous hypothetical was real, would you upvote me then?" And also Satan really wants to watch you suck off ya boy.
This week, The F Plus is real, you family member?

327: Hypothetically This Is An Episode

The redditors at r/ZeroCarb have a particular diet they want to share with you, and here it is: Meat. Meat at the exclusion of literally everything else. Every other comestible on the planet contains toxins, so they've found perfect health. Also they're all getting hives and incontinence and a myriad of sexual, respiratory and sleep problems, but that's probably entirely unrelated. 
This week, we don't mention Jordan Peterson too much, so that's nice.

326: Carne Idiota

The folks over at Bulletproof tried selling coffee with butter in it. And not only did that plan work, but their customers were willing to pay a premium for the experience. So with that lesson learned they expanded the product line: Protein bars, tinctures, vibrating platforms, books, computers with pre-installed software. These are products designed to reverse the aging process. And if that sales pitch sounds compelling to you, please give me your credit card information.
This week, The F Plus puts the coconut in the fire to relieve this bellyache.

325: Butter Business Bureau

The Psi Wiki is an encylcopedia devoted to the art of pisonics, which takes great pains to make sure that all the information is completely accurate. So with that said, let's learn how to time travel.
This week, Venmo @TheFPlus and we'll tell you what your Radionic Box does.

324: I'm Not Touching You

The Redditors on r/BadRoommates are frustrated by their roommates. Why? Well, they'd like to tell you, but that would require a familiarization with the English language far greater than any of them are capable. But the roommates have been warned!
This week, The F Plus has a Sour Daddy.

323: Do The Dishes, Charles

Sourced from all over the internet, we're singing songs of praise and worship (25 of them to be exact) and we expect you to feel our love deep inside you, except not in a sex way this time.
This week, The F Plus begins The Upward Spiral.

322: The F Plus Praises!

Hey, this is a gross one!  We started reading a Clips 4 Sale document, and then very quickly realized was all about food. We've got recipes, we've got cooking tips, we've got women upside down with their head in a laundry basket, really - all your staples. It's very disgusting,  but also fun. And Jimmyfranks bought a whistle.
This week, The F Plus can't seem to sell any of this Cookie Puss!

321: Clips 4 Bake Sale

The uncredited former owner of ChemtrailsAreDemonic.org has a very straightforward message to explain to you, but if you think the URL will explain it all, you're going to be surprised on pretty much every turn here.
This week, The F Plus gets super efficient at releasing our sperm whales.
SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM PORTAXX: Hi! Shortly after recording this episode, I made the mistake of going outside and was sprayed by demonic chemtrails. When I came to, I realized I painted this adorable demonplane while in a possessed frenzy.

320: BBB BBB BBB Bind.

Alfredo Bowman (aka Dr. Sebi) made an interesting discovery about germ theory: Namely, that there is only one germ, which causes a disease called "disease", which causes mucus, which in turn causes disease. And germs. Also beets cause perpetual motion. It's all very sensible, so please buy this £40 tea.
This week, The F Plus is giving up the moisture.

319: The Alkaline Trip

On January 18th of 2020, The F Plus came to Portland in order to do something very stupid indeed. Sixteen players would come up to the stage, one by one, and read randomly selected content they have never seen before, in order to prove who is the motherfucking best.

Achilles' Heelies - From Nightmares & Rockets (an Elon Musk fanfic) by Tesla Pike
Frank West - How To Shave Your Genitals (Male)
Boots Raingear - How To Get Over Your Fear Of Slenderman
Victor Laszlo - How To Ignore Your Husband



I'm sorry, Dad.
Heat 2 | Heat 3 | Heat 4 | Final Heat

live8a: wikiHow The Game Show | F Plus Live 8 | Heat 1

King Lou Fernandez - How to Survive a Freestyle Rap Battle
Jack Chick - How to Become Pope
Lemon - How to Report Illegal Immigrants
Kumquatxop - B.A.B.E.S. (Bay Area Bug Eating Society)



Don't walk on the table, Jack.
Heat 1 | Heat 3 | Heat 4 | Final Heat