Three Bean Salad

Most of us can only dream of the splendour of the internal spaces occupied by London’s elite. A lucky few might have a neighbour who’s made it big on the pools, bought one of those glossy magazines with photos of a Londoner in their parlour and invited the whole street round to have a squiz. This week on the Three Bean Salad Podcast, the beans are knocking dreams and glossy magazines into cocked hat as their very own topflight Londoner gives the inside scoop on some of his earliest interior design choices. With thanks to Lynne from Highbury (also London of course) for picking interior design as this week’s topic du week (as they say in London one imagines).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Steven of Utrecht gets the beans wagging them tongues about the Netherlands to kick the new season off. And why the bloody hell not? After all the beans have all visited that great nation in the past and therefore it’s safe to assume each has taken a deep, deep, deep dive into its history, culture and miscellaneous to the point where an informative yet entertaining conversation will surely be second nature. ¡Feliz cumpleaños!Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until December).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday October and we only do four episodes a month - take it up with our lawyer, Julian Calendar)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Put your seat back into the reclining position (but only if you have the express consent of the person behind you who has also ideally reclined their seat with the express consent of the person behind them ad infinitum etc), shove a lukewarm bean in each ear and enjoy a third bean as a mid-flight snack for only €79.99 for Joe from York has suggested budget airlines as this week’s topic. That may mean BYO sandwich, BYO magazine and BYO sick-bag but the lukewarm chat is complementary. Bean voyage.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes, a monthly bonus episode and more: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Dan from Bremen chooses sharks for this week’s topic as well he might. After all, just as the shark is a perfectly evolved apex predator, so is the bean a perfectly evolved apex legume. No one wants three sharks to team up: that would simply lead to a bloodbath. Three beans on the other hand means a lukewarm banter bath and everyone’s invited (special rubber socks will be supplied for those with untreated athlete’s foot or verrucas).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

True to form, Tutankhamun from the Nile Delta has selected the pyramids as this week’s topic. Were these structures named after the shape or was it the other way around? Were they meant to be that shape in the first place or did they just run out of bricks? If they’ve REALLY been there for thousands of years how come they aren’t totally covered in graffiti tags and pictures of willies and stuff? For answers to all these questions and more why not try Wikipedia or Reddit or something? For a lukewarm take - press play.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Adverts: lifeblood of the nation, engine of the economy, coal of the mind. What could be more splendid then than a podcast episode which already contains adverts also being about adverts? Thank you to Andrew from Leeds for feeding this suggestion into the bean machine for a listening experience which flicks a cold, hard finger-swear at the skip-forwards-by-30-seconds button.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

It’s drive time on Bean FM and this week the lukewarm hits are in the key of “pasta” thanks to Matt of Bremen! We’ve got all the latest celebrity gossip, updates from Bonjamin’s traffic drone, weather from The Onion Child, something about sport presumably and unlimited adverts!! Call 0800-RIGATONI now with your crazy pasta story and you could win a sieve moulded from the face of Chris Tarrant!!!With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

The beans doff their caps (FUNGUS PUN!) to Adam of Bremington Spa for providing this weeks topic: mushrooms. What (or who???) are mushrooms? And why? And how come none of the other podcasts are getting to grips with them? Fear? Lobbyists? No matter. Just sit back, chuck some beans together with some mushrooms in a pot, set the hob to lukewarm and let’s see what bubbles up.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Looking for a clear explanation of the syncopated contrapuntal elaboration of static half-diminished harmony tritone substitution turnaround? Then look no further as Cameron of Milton Keynes has the beans talk about jazz this week and, unless some sort of technical catastrophe has taken place resulting in a comprehensive explanation and discussion of music’s crown prince genre being replaced some quantity of bollocks, the beans have got you covered groove-style.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladSTREAMING TICKETS FOR OUR LONDON PODCAST FESTIVAL LIVE SHOWS:Friday 13th Sept 2024, 7pm: https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/30561/30562Saturday 14th Sept 2024, 7pm: https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/30530/30531With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Play this episode directly in front of a mirror and no reflection of it shall ye see because this episode, the first of season fourteen, is all about vampires thanks to Stan of Manchester. Little is known of the elusive Stan of Manchester other than he always travels with 50 boxes of Transylvanian soil. Make of that what you will.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday July and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month on the basis of hard won workers' rights)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

This week the beans are scraping away the topsoil of knowledge and softly brushing away the woodlice of friendship to reveal a hoard of lukewarm banter for your pleasure. This is all thanks to Pat from Ely who buried archaeology into the bean machine in the distant past naively assuming it would never be disturbed and would be allowed to rest in peace in perpetuity. Hard cheese, Pat!Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

"Why is that Wikipedia doesn’t bother having any pages about aquatic craft these days?”, you might ask if you’d had your head stuck in a honey badger’s front porch for the last 3 years. The answer, of course, is that people come to Three Bean Salad for comprehensive data batches on this subject as well as the very hottest of takes. Previous “searches” by listeners have included submarines, the Titanic and cruise ships. This week Rowan completes the set by asking the beans to unravel the mysteries of the final category of water going vehicles: boats.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Rebecca from (The?) Wirral selects haircuts as this week’s topic for the beans. Presumably this was a cynical attempt to silence Henry for an episode - an attempt which, of course, failed. Rebecca has been referred to the Bean Standards Select Committee and is suspended without pay pending their findings.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

This week, Bonjamin Partridge centralises power, unilaterally suppresses any viable opposition and brings all bean media under executive control. “Big deal!” we hear you cry. “He’s just tapping into the Zeitgeist!”. Perhaps you’re right. Perhaps such a man understands that the people need to hear a story about a hot air balloon ride even when they might not think they need to hear a story about a hot air balloon ride. Tune in again next week when Bonjamin turns his sights on the judiciary!Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes, a monthly bonus episode and more: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Is it true what they don’t say that the world is on the brink of sliding back into a system of feudalism? If so where will you be in the pecking order? And more importantly where will podcasters be? Clergy level? Perhaps Cody from America has a take on all this? Perhaps not. Perhaps definitely Cody asked the beans to discuss feudalism and they did after a fashion.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Allison of Penistone has the beans talk about gameshows this week and by gum they don’t disappoint. Or do they? Why not play the ultimate game of chance and find out? Simply “Spin That Bean!”* and you could stand to win the best part of an hour of lukewarm banter.*conceptual bean only. Sorry. You’ll need to click the link as per.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comLivestream tickets for our shows at London Podcast Festival on Friday 13 Sept and Saturday 14 Sept 2024: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/kplayer/performer/three-bean-salad/Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

It is said that there as many books in the libraries of the world as there are atoms in a book (although not sure which book. Actually that doesn’t make sense given the variation in the size of books. Perhaps it was in a grain of sand. Or is that the thing about there being the same number of stars in the sky as grains of sand in a beach. But which beach? West Wittering is massive. Actually forget it). Freya of Bremen has chosen libraries for this week’s topic so for once can we all just ruddy well put those phones away and read a bleeding novel?!Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comLivestream tickets for our shows at London Podcast Festival on Friday 13 Sept and Saturday 14 Sept 2024: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/kplayer/performer/three-bean-salad/Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

A brand new series kicks the talon of lukewarm banter through the paper-thin shell of rules before squawking truth bombs from the beak of freedom and watching its unhatched siblings being gathered by the smallholder of something else and incorporated into a pretty decent ham and cheese omelette. That’s right, thanks to Katie of Hull, the first topic of the first of episode of series 13 is eggs.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June).Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.

This week the beans doff their Harris Tweed flap caps to Chrissie of Bremen whose topic suggestion of farming has slipped out of the bean machine’s birth canal, glistening with the lukewarm goo of banter before landing softly on the (also lukewarm) straw of compelling, independent broadcasting and bleating with the timbre of nature’s very own promotional jingle. The beans shall return come the radish harvest (June).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

The Industrial Revolution, the assassination of Julius Caesar, the debut performance of “Wang Dang Doodle” by Howlin’ Wolf, the wedding of Jérôme d'Ambrosio and Eleonore von Habsburg, The Black Death. What do these things have in common? All of them took place within spitting distance of some quantity of wine probably. No wonder then that Charlie of St. Louis has selected wine as this week’s topic for the beans - served lukewarm.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Trigger warning for any misophonia sufferers this episode (although Henry probably weeded these people out long ago). Olives is this week’s topic with thanks to Lewis of Lewisham. Obviously no one really understands what an olive is so it’s a tough one for the beans but the beans battle on gamely nonetheless. Giant snails also get a mention and about ruddy time.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Cloche Bleue: noun 1) Term used to denote a blue bell or a cat named Bluebell by a French speaker or by members of London’s metropolitan elite 2) archaic Obsolete Royal Naval punishment also known as the “Arctic Arse Spinnaker” 3) A curate’s egg of an episode in which the podcasters forget to find a proper topic to discuss after being mesmerised by the work of a French jinglist called SamuelJoin our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpodMusic includes:An der schönen blauen Donau, Op.314 (Strauss Jr., Johann) by Das Orchester TSUMUGI. (Creative Commons Attribution 4.0)

Matt from Newcastle gets the beans chatting about the beach this week. Sure they cover the hits (your shingle, your windbreaks, your snorkels and so on) but they also cast a bean smeared lens over the behavioural psychology, the paleoanthropology and yes the very mythos of the towel/bare arse interface.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpodLIVE SHOW TICKETS:MANCHESTER: https://www.seetickets.com/tour/three-bean-saladBRISTOL: https://tobaccofactorytheatres.com/shows/three-bean-salad-podcast-live/MACHYNLLETH: https://machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2024/three-bean-salad-three-bean-salad-podcast-live-2/

This weeks topic is tough guys and that’s thanks to Joe from Bremen in the Cotswolds who clearly understands what this podcast is actually about. Naturally the beans thrive in this chatosphere. After all, one of them has at least seven extremely small scars, one of them has driven a convertible with the top down in Wales and one of them is a card carrying beefcake.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Isaac of Bremen recommends the beans set banter to spooky and discuss ghosts this week. As you’d imagine they put what has long been a contentious subject to bed once and for all and they’re very brave about it at the same time but in an unassuming and modest way (and we’re not talking false modesty mind you). Benjamin Partridge also reveals the secret fuel of the Jingle Meister.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Did the druidic architecture firm that designed Stonehenge make their pitch with a scale model made of beans? Were the stones moved halfway across Britain by crabs? (NB on a map the direction of travel is sideways!) Was Stonehenge the location of King Arthur’s stag do? There’s absolutely no way of knowing any of the above as it’s a prehistoric structure (ie built in a zero red tape environment so non-existent record keeping/planning protocols etc). But if there’s one thing that’s never stopped the Beans’ flow of lukewarm banter it’s a complete lack of concrete knowledge. So lie down, think of Albion and enjoy this Stonehenge based episode with thanks to this week’s topic suggester Ian of Stone.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until March).Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday January and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month on the basis of cosmic health and safety)Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.

For the last episode of the season place your head in the jaws of podcasting and let its lukewarm slobber cascade into your ears because the theme, with thanks to Stephen of Ireland, is the circus. The beans will be away for the month of Frerbrurary investigating whether or not fleas actually enjoy circus skills training or performance work but shall return full of the proverbial in March.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Tickets to see Mike's tour show Zusa can be found here: https://littlewander.co.uk/show/mike-wozniak-zusa-2/Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

“Frankly, 007, I don’t give a damn!” That’s right, this week’s topic, courtesy of Diogo of Lisbon, is James Bond. We’ve all seen the movies, sure. But has the world actually taken the time to just stop for a second and listen to what some blokes have to say about them?With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Holly of Portsmouth blesses the beans with the ancient chat topic of castles for this week’s episode. They get close harmony groups and genetically engineered toads out of the way in short order and before you know it are on to an absolutely watertight movie pitch that will probably redefine cinema for a generation.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Ali requests that the Beans explore the topic of architecture and they do their best to take the roof off, knock through the kitchen and dining room to create a greater sense of space, and install a cantilevered lukewarm sauna. As always, listeners will benefit from a working knowledge of former professional tennis player and BBC sports anchor Sue Barker.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Emma has the beans discuss fairy tales for the last episode of 2023. It’s nasty business on the whole as anyone who has actually read an original fairy tale or had a fairy tale based upon their own life experiences will know. If you’re too busy to listen and are simply after this week’s take home message it’s probably that you ought to be very, very, very, very, very cautious about making any sort of bargain with a goblin/sorceress/folkloric twat.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comFind Crowleytime by today's email jingle maker here: https://crowleytom.com/crowley-timeGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

It’s only a matter of time before the beans’ merch empire knocks the competition into a cocked hat with the launch of Beantopia: Three Bean Salad’s very own maxi cruise ship experience. Prebook for the maiden voyage of the as-yet unbuilt vessel now to enjoy a floating paradise replete with an all-you-can-eat bean buffet, ocean going velodrome, manmade desert, Punch and Judy musical flume experience, secret Stanford behavioural psychology experiment and super realistic waste ground with suspended building works. Thanks therefore to Becky of the Bremen Borough of Barnet for feeding “cruises” into the bean machine and giving the beans a topic they have a real passion for.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Tickets for our live shows at Machynlleth Comedy Festival can be found here: https://machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2024/three-bean-salad-three-bean-salad-podcast-live-2/Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Hats off to Ross of Vancouver and then immediately put a different hat on along with a rubber nose and a set of matching eyebrow wigs because Ross has got the beans wagging their false chins about disguises this week. This episode also includes an update on Henry’s Beefcake Journey and the secret to success. With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladTickets for our live shows at Machynlleth Comedy Festival can be found here: https://machcomedyfest.co.uk/show/2024/three-bean-salad-three-bean-salad-podcast-live-2/Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

The beans are back! A bumper episode to kick off the new series. Lots to cover. And Samuel steers the beans towards the topic of assassinations which absolutely classic Samuel frankly. Knuckle down and let’s get through this together people.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until December).Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.

To round off series whatever it is Isabella feeds surfin' into the bean machine in the hope of crystal clear, effluent-free lukewarm banter. Will the beans turtle roll some ankle slappers? Or will they hang ten on a shubie’s mushburger? Why not tombstone a paddlepuss and find out?Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Definitely a cursed episode this one. No one’s fault. Worth knowing going in though. If you’re brave enough to take the plunge you’ll discover that Rowan had the beans grapple with the Trojan War and you’ll probably say to yourself “That shouldn’t present a problem to the beans although I bet they end up being a bit reductive about calzones” and you’d be right.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Muriel from Illinois has the beans discuss The Higgs Boson/Particles this week. Listeners might be concerned the beans are entering knowledge-gap territory here but it turns out between them they average 2 ⅔ science GCSEs a piece*.*grades attained unavailable and what do they mean anyway really???Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Thank goodness one of the beans is a jewel-encrusted member of London’s glitterati because this week’s topic, thanks to Catherine of Bremen, is fashion. What do your chinos say about you? What do you say about your chinos? And what would your chinos say about what you’d said about them if they’d overheard it? All questions the beans are unable to answer for you of course but while you’re working them over why not strike a pose and tune into the lukewarm banter based podcast du jour.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

It’s widely accepted that if Elvis Presley were alive today he would have made a really decent podcaster. Where better then to discuss his life and legacy than on a podcast which, at the time of writing, is ranked as Finland’s 245th most popular sleep aid? Thanks to Dan (presumably of Bremen) for feeding The King into the bean machine.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

The topic of orange is wmg’s gift to the beans this week and you can bet your bottom dollar the beans don’t just squeeze every last drop of chat juice out of it. No siree! They candy the peel, compost the pith and pulverise the pips to extract linoleic acid which could be used in the production of organic varnishes for example (metaphorically).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Popo (THE Popo?????) decides the beans ought to discuss pencils this week. Henry manages to crowbar in Andie MacDowell (surprise, surprise), congressional hearings get a mention as do several Roberts and Benjamin shares a top tip for increasing your household acreage without planning permission.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladTo buy streaming tickets for our upcoming live shows:Saturday 16th September 2023, 7pm (UK time) https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29411/29415Sunday 17th September 2023, 2pm (UK time) https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29666/29667Sunday 17th September 2023, 4.30pm (UK time) https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29412/29416Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

The beans are back and Sean of Exeter has given them the topic of beer, the cheeky old rascal!!!!! As luck would have it the beans just so happen to know one end of a pint from the other cor bloomin’ heck don’t they just the bloody legends so don’t be surprised if the banter isn’t just served lukewarm but has a ruddy lemonade top to boot weh hey!!!Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladTo buy streaming tickets for our upcoming live shows:Saturday 16th September 2023, 7pm (UK time) https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29411/29415Sunday 17th September 2023, 2pm (UK time) https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29666/29667Sunday 17th September 2023, 4.30pm (UK time) https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29412/29416Get in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September).Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.Tickets to stream our upcoming live shows:Saturday 16th Sept, 7pm: https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29411/29415Sunday 17th Sept, 2pm https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29666/29667Sunday 17th Sept, 4.30pm https://shop.kingsplace.co.uk/29412/29416

It’s the last episode of the season so thank goodness Gavin (of Bremen most likely) furnished the beans with the humdinger zeitgiest chat-nip topic that is…oats! The beans lurch from the grain-of-now to trouser physics and back again all for YOUR listening pleasure. Summer good and summer true dear friends. Three Bean Salad shall return at Septembertide.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLive-stream tickets for our live shows at London Podcast Festival:16th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-16-09/17th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-17-09/Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

The beans have to get to grips with urban legends this week thanks to Tabby from Edinburgh. But before that Henry tells an anecdote so long that it begins to develop its own atmosphere and gravity. Finally they get stuck into urban legends and it gets scatalogical IMMEDIATELY for which Tabby surely has to take some of the blame. In fact large chunks of the episode are pretty unpalatable so please don’t listen to it anywhere near an impressionable child or unripe AI.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLive-stream tickets for our live shows at London Podcast Festival:16th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-16-09/17th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-17-09/Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Ben from Cardiff (WE KNOW RIGHT???!!!) submits the topic of whales and the Beans waste no time getting into some radical new theories of aquatic taxonomy and evolution. If you’re wondering whether or not they’re qualified to handle that stuff let’s not forgot that Mike’s got a biology A-level, Ben lives a mere 4 hour drive away from the Rhyl SeaQuarium and Henry can draw a ruddy good haddock. This episode also contains a dose of the Old Testament which never did anybody any harm.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLive-stream tickets for our live shows at London Podcast Festival:16th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-16-09/17th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-17-09/Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Megan from Bremen sends beans a-yappin’ about cults this week. It proves to be an episode packed with jaw-dropping revelations, not least of which is Henry’s confession to a major personal creed-shift.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLive-stream tickets for our live shows at London Podcast Festival:16th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-16-09/17th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-17-09/Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

How did scientists explain theories of time travel to laypeople before the invention of paper napkins? This is just one of the many questions surrounding this week’s topic of time travel (courtesy of Ben of Horsham) that the Beans simply don’t touch. Talc makes an appearance though. Content warning: contains audio of the podcast’s first partial nude.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLive-stream tickets for our live shows at London Podcast Festival:16th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-16-09/17th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-17-09/Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

It takes every ounce of the beans’ strength to keep the banter lukewarm this week as they take on Phil of Baltimore’s inherently hot topic of volcanoes during the most violent heat wave the British Isles have ever seen. Does heat melt away their satirical fangs? No! (Listen if you dare, Tony Blair!) Does it stop them from catching up with what Silvio Berlusconi was up to in 2006? No way! Do the energy levels audibly drop towards the end of the episode? Arguably.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLive-stream tickets for our live shows at London Podcast Festival:16th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-16-09/17th September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-streaming-three-bean-salad-17-09/Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

To Ben’s horror, the theme this week, thanks to Dedan-Jah Jonker the rheumatic Dutchman, is his bête noire: tea. To make things worse for poor, sweet, bean-machine laden Ben, this episode also finds him forced to confront his most recent near death experience at the hands of a certain type of central European bastard the guide books don’t warn you about.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Hazel of Bremen throws lukewarm caution to the wind and has the beans discuss FIRE! Some sage words on friendship (and eyebrow) management are included and it will come as no surprise that Henry’s employment history is once more in the mix.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June).Join our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad for bonus episodes.

Without a care in the world, Zachary of Bremen tosses the spine-chilling topic of “The Essence of Fear” into the bean machine quiver and expects the beans to just deal with it once it’s fired out. Of course - they do. They dive deep. Gossamer deep. Listen only with extreme caution (one ear?). Also contains a forbidden jingle.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

This week the Bean Machine, having been pre-loaded by Luke (of Bremen?), spits out the topic of teachers. It’s time for the beans to think about how many Alsatians is too many Alsatians. Also the dear listeners are called upon to help solve a cereal based codger mystery.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

This week’s topic comes from none other than Phillip Kerrigan of Kerrigan’s mustard. His choice: dentists. It’s a thorny one, sure, but that doesn’t put off the beans. They chat hard and true and, arguably at the top of their podcasting game, find a way to incorporate crabs. This episode is dedicated to the late, wonderfully funny and much missed comedian Gareth Richards.Gareth's website: http://www.garethrichards.net/Gareth's EP: https://garethrichards.bandcamp.com/album/these-songs-could-be-used-in-adverts-epJoin our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Neil (presumably of Bremen) offers up the topic of TV crime shows. At least one of the beans is like a pig in the proverbial with such a fearsomely strong topic but nevertheless the beans do make time to touch upon French impressionism, infini-hills and aquatic apex predators. Also contains hot new intel on a drop-dead decent storage solution.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday March and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month on the basis of human rights, the will of the moon and natural justice)

Sarah of Bremen pressgangs the beans into chatting all things pirates this week. With a fair wind at the stern they sail through the alphabet and the landlocked city of Nottingham and have time to spare to drop the chat anchor into the depths of what happens when a potato is left to its own devices.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladTickets to our live show on 30th April 2023 at Machynlleth Comedy Festival: https://machcomedyfest.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/shows/873644688Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Gemma in Bromley has the beans wrap their chops around ice-cream this week and by gum are the beans happy about it. This may be the most on-topic episode of the podcast so far although there is time to squeeze in hairy omelettes, creamy cream and a trip down memory lane with Lou from Neighbours.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladTickets to our live show on 30th April 2023 at Machynlleth Comedy Festival: https://machcomedyfest.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/shows/873644688Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

This week your old friend Neil (of Bremen) sends the bean chat to the magisterial tundra of the Arctic. Nozzles, aisle seats and the future of powder all come into play. Also this is a tremendous episode for anyone hoping to hone their spatial awareness or sense of direction which, let’s be honest, is something very few other podcasts are offering right now.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Michael of Bremen gets the chat ball rolling in this brand new series by suggesting this week’s topic of zeppelins. Mechanised frogs, hamperisation and of course buououououoys all play a vital part. Also the beans thwart a possible attempt at an AI world takeover (or unwittingly enable it - hard to tell at the time of writing).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Take yourself back to December 2021/January 2022 and enjoy this compilation of highlights from our third series. From coffee shop toilets to a terrible banana.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until March) but if you want extra bonus episodes you can sign up at our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad

What’s that? A crossover ep? Has the world turned upside down? No. Behold! What lies in store is an exclusive, once in a lifetime piece of podcasting as Three Bean Salad get sent their topic of the week by none other than The Chatatar Podcast - the world’s foremost source of Avatar based lukewarm banter. That topic? “Avatar 2: The Way Of Water”. What else.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

The Loch Ness Monster is Harvey’s idea of a strong topic for the beans this week. Can they avoid offensively poor Scottish accents? Possibly. Will Helen Hunt come up? Probably. Will a fictional character played by a volleyball dominate the conversation? You betcha!Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Matt from The Cheese Deli sets thrusters to lukewarm and launches the beans towards the topic of the Moon this week. Expect solid Louis Armstrong chat, Connect 4, a hearty to nod to Liam Neeson and of course, more hot and fresh reaction to the second movie in the Avatar franchise.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Rebecca Abrey’s son (of Bremen) has Rebecca Abrey get us to talk about dogs and by golly heck but don’t we just do that. The lukewarm, canine banter is appropriately seasoned with paprika, subaquatic telepathy and a hot take on the cultural event of the millennium.Tickets for Mike Wozniak's tour can be found here: https://littlewander.co.uk/show/mike-wozniak-zusa/Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Lynsey of Bremen offers up crisps to get the beans juices flowing. As per there’s heavyweight chat with attention to detail so expect to hear about taxonomic rank, golden staircases (divine) and the worst possible situation from which to mount a revolution.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Forests is this week’s lukewarm topic for which Rowan of Bremen is responsible and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Henry blindsides the Beans with a revelation about his foresting past, Benjamin is exposed as a ruthless negotiator and Mike is forced into discovering a skill he never knew he had (albeit one that could land him in in hot water). Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

It’s Ryan from Bremen’s turn to direct the bean chat and he has them get busy on board games.Tim Rice pops up of course. There’s a tiny knight’s helmet and a hot tip for those hoping to thrive socially in any suburban cul-de-sac. All this AND a rare audio visit to the toilets in the Barbican Centre.

Welcome back to Season/Series 7 (we think) of Three Bean Salad and what an opener the beans have for you as Michael from Bremen proposes the topic of animal husbandry. Expect a deeper understanding of little Christmas trees that dangle off rearview mirrors, an explanation of the principle use of passata and a rare insight into the life of Joanna Lumley.

Take yourself back to August/September 2021 and enjoy this compilation of highlights from our second series. From King Kong to Amelia Earhart.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until December), but if you want to extra bonus content you can sign up at our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad

This week’s topic, courtesy of “Your Worst Nightmare” is glass. Having comprehensively and definitively covered the science of glass in the deep bean past the beans find time to get entrepreneurial (watch this space, dog owners), satirical (watch out, The Man) as well as sorting out their pension plans. They even manage to squeeze in a smidge of Gérard Depardieu for good measure. A bumper crop for the last episode of this season. The beans shall return in December. In the meantime, for heaven’s sake, don’t sit on your own arse.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

In what would probably the worst episode ever for a brand new listener to sample the show fresh, Phillip Kerrigan of Kerrigan’s Mustard gets his Bean Machine double dip and has the beans discuss mail. What follows is a feast for veteran ears but more of a sick bag for novices as the beans get into rat poison, Bonjamin and, of course, ham.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

This week in Three Bean Salad starring Henry Paker, Mike Wozniak, Benjamin Partridge, Neil of Bremen suggests Henry Paker and co tackle a subject close to Henry Paker et al’s heart - sandwiches. Included in this episode of Three Bean Henry Salad Paker with Henry Paker: Henry Paker ably interrogates second fiddle Benjamin Partridge on economical sandwich sourcing, Henry Paker discusses Mike “podcast linesman” Wozniak’s thoughts on sandwiches for him and Henry Paker tells a pakeresque story from the past of Henry Paker featuring Henry Paker.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Jen mines her own dreams this week to provide the beans with the topic of going to Disney World and not wanting to be dressed up as a ruffian. Silk worms get a shout out early doors, before the beans glide through Gary Lineker, glance briefly over Bulgarian politics and end up somewhere in the region of The Fonz. Enjoy but remember: you can’t sit on your own arse.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

The topic this week is no topic owing to an excess of intro prattling which the Bean Machine was unable to cope with. Did Henry forget to clean the Bean Machine slough-sump? Did Mike fail to de-scale the low-pressure waffle sprocket? Has Ben been at the raw prawns again? Or maybe rats got in. In time we may have answers for you but in the meantime here’s a hamless ham sandwich of a podcast episode to help you get to sleep.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpodFeat. "Shop Jazz" by https://freesound.org/people/Migfus20

Paul from Widnes (bot status unconfirmed) serves up the topic of Artificial Intelligence for the beans this week. Sure, to begin with they simply respond by making a series of vague futuristic noises, they’re only flesh and blood (confirmed), but soon enough they get busy and deliberate crab newspapers, an unusual use of hair conditioner and the truth about the Netherlands.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Steph of London isn’t shy about getting the beans to tackle hats and tackle hats they do. For the sake of completeness they incorporate oral tomato snooker, pencil sharpeners and Dobermann puppies. Also expect to hear a hot, fresh exclusive about Ben’s upcoming rebranding.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLivestream tickets for our live show on Saturday 17th Sept: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-three-bean-salad/Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Away we go for Season 6 which begins with the topic of teeth as suggested by Josh of Bremen. Tune in for tales of sea snakes, how close the world came to seeing its first coin-operated man and why you should be suspicious of anything that costs £78.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLivestream tickets for our show in September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-three-bean-salad/Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until September), but if you want to listen to extra bonus content you can sign up at our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad

For the final episode of Season 5 Maddie of the USA hurls the beans towards the hot topic of swords. The Great Ham Cultures feature heavily, the lid is lifted on the art of car servicing and you’d better believe they cover hot pebbles (about ruddy time). The beans will return in September, fresh of face and fleet of professionally medicated foot.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLivestream tickets for our show in September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-three-bean-salad/Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

George of Canada has drawn inspiration from the fact he’s in Canada and picked the theme of “Canada” for the beans this week. Little could he have imagined he’d prompt a nation-ruining exposé as the beans unveil the gris(zz)ly truth about SBAJ!Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLivestream tickets for our show in September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-three-bean-salad/Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

This week the juicy topic of service stations is thrown the beans’ way by none other than Hannah Kohler of London. The episode is crucial listening for anyone at risk of being trapped in a well. In addition, geese get more than honourable mention and Henry drops a hot-dog bombshell.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladLivestream tickets for our show in September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-three-bean-salad/Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Emma of the Seychelles sends the beans on something of a busman’s holiday with the topic of sitcoms. Ben gives our the listeners the scoop on his latest project, Mike digs his heels in on his wolf identification skills and Henry unlocks the secrets of his own past.Livestream tickets for our show in September: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/online-three-bean-salad/ Tickets for Mike Wozniak's tour of his new stand-up show Zusa: https://littlewander.co.uk/show/mike-wozniak-zusa/ Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday June and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month on the basis of human rights), but if you want to listen to a new bonus episode (and all of our bonus output going back to the Genesis bean) you can sign up to our PATREON at www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

Thanks to Dr P this week the beans get to grips with that fundamental unit of life: tubes. Essentially if looks like it tube and it sounds like a tube it’s a tube and if it doesn’t there’s a good chance it’s a tube after all if you think about it. Also we find out how Henry takes a bath.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

France is this week’s topic thanks to the theme nudging of Michael. Lifelong francophilobean Henry Paker is a cochon in the proverbial merde and gives us his hot take on croissants, the quotidien life of French bakers as well a live translation of La Marseillaise for those without a firm grasp of the French language or decent wifi.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Phillip Kerrigan of Kerrigan’s Mustards gets the beans talking about prizes. They offer up a lesser known travel tip for the Philippines, an approach for undergraduate exam preparation and Ben finally shows his true colours (listener discretion advised - they ain’t a pretty shade).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Welcome back for SEASON 5 which Henry thinks means we’ve been going for either 70 episodes or 70 years. Thanks to Steph of London the season kicks off with the topic of bears. Literally and figuratively full of beans from their hiatus, the actual beans manage to steer on course for an admirable chunk of the episode but do manage to give glancing chat blows to Paul Hogan, Thug and Nicky the Pygmy Hippos and what might have happened to Henry’s missing bag of CDs.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until June), but if you want to listen to new bonus episodes you can sign up to our PATREON at patreon.com/threebeansalad

For the final episode of the season, tusk monomaniac Jerome of Indiana, locks the beans onto his favourite dental protrusion. It will come as no surprise to Jerome that the beans prod their chat fangs deep into the definition of true art, the ethics of umbrella storage and Henry’s arena-filling splinter project.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpodJoin our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

Sarah of Bremen decides this week’s topic for the beans is maps and they can’t be blamed for delving into the unchartered chat territories of compressed meat biscuits, what you should rub in Luton for luck and why Ben’s career as a fantasy novelist is doomed before it’s even begun.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpodJoin our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

At the behest of Immanuel of Bremen, this week’s subject is mountains. The intrepid beans nearly perish in a conversational crevasse early doors, but can they get back on track and make it to the summit of Mount Chat?Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpodJoin our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

What’s that? A light entertainment podcast has dared to dance across the the conversational minefield that is the antimacassar? That’s right. And that podcast is Three Bean Salad. And if Lauren from Bremen hadn’t got the beans onto the topic of snow in the first place this podcasting milestone might never have been achieved at all.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpodJoin our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday March and we simply will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month because we respect the natural order of the universe), but if you want to listen to a new bonus episode you can sign up to our PATREON at www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

Chase (Bremen?) proclaims that goblins are the topic of the week. The beans tackle it with their usual rigour and in no time at all are back on the deck of the RMS Titanic. Spaniels get an honourable mention and we learn about Mike’s lesser known sub-specialty within the movie-making industry.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpodJoin our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMusic"That's Alright"Podington Bear soundofpicture.com

Hazel presumably of Bremen steers the beans towards the topic of bicycles and they absolutely chat the hind legs off it. Tonic wine, castanets and Noel Gallagher all find a place, Ben is slighted, Mike discovers new sopping kin, and Henry is taunted by a toddler.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

WARNING: chunks of this episode are foul but that’s not the Beans’ fault. The blame squarely lies on the shoulders of Devonshire Megan who bade them discuss slippers. Thoughtfully they soften the blow by veering into Thai massage, ovine mince categorisation and how to tell if Mike is behind a serious crime.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpodJoin our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

Roll up, roll up for E1 of S4 of Three Bean Salad in which Luke of Hertfordshire directs the beans towards the topic of dinosaurs. Tune in as hitherto unplumbed depths of ignorance are brought to the surface and listen to the beans discover they don’t know what they should know they don’t know about some of the basics.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpodJoin our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until March), but if you want to listen to new bonus episodes you can sign up to our PATREON at www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

Casper places the beans in grave peril by instructing them to discuss spies. They squeeze in the sub-topic of Japanese breakfast cereals but, to their great credit, largely stick to the main theme and in doing so discover Ben’s embroidered personal motto, Henry’s pushy side and that Mike isn’t only boring about guitars.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpodJoin our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

WMG prompts the beans to roll up their sleeves and get their hands dirty with the topic of aliens. Ever thorough, they are careful not to neglect Newcastle or bananas and even dare to lift the lid on the secrets of the Mafia.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpodJoin our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

Holly reckons it’s high time the beans talked about museums. Sure, they get a little embrangled in decommissioned hangars and Eastern European concrete but do also expect to learn the meaning of an onion in a renaissance painting and how to conduct a 16th century eye test.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpodJoin our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

Thanks in no small part to Elizabeth (monarch status unknown) the beans forge THE DEFINITIVE chat on the topic of elevators. Gird your ears for the secrets of conducting low-cost business meetings, Henry’s criminal past and the criteria for both the ideal door and a decent canteen.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpodJoin our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week, but if you want to listen to two new bonus episodes you can sign up to our PATREON at www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

Ryan suggests the beans discuss zombies and so they slowly drag themselves towards the topics of Boots the chemists, aristocrats and bicycle puncture repair.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpodJoin our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

SPOILER ALERT (sort of): the Beans get a bit bogged down with Squid Game early doors (obviously) so please bear that in mind. Non-spoiler alert bit: this week Hayley from America hoofs the beans towards the topic of biscuits. Helpfully they include advice on how tell if what you’re bucking is a bronco and how to identify Joss Stone, although the whole thing is ruined when Henry breaks the ultimate conversational taboo.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpodJoin our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

Listener Sam gets the beans talking about immortality. They peregrinate around the topic, taking in clown eggs, tuna salads and getting a biscuit named after you. Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpodJoin our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode; www.patreon.com/threebeansalad

The Beans are back! It's the start of series three and this time they're working up a sweat talking about exercise. Also featuring peregrination, shuttlecocks and the crab living between Ben's warm bumcheeks.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

We present the final episode of Series 2 in which Dustin (of Bremen?) has the beans discussing the luckless Titanic. In this spooooky edition of the podcast, house dust mites get a long overdue mention as do hurled milkshakes, interspecies breeding and the benefits of a sub-aquatic moth. Please stay tuned to this frequency as the beans shall return SOON!Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Portraiture is this week’s topic, responsibility for which lies squarely at the feet of Phil of Baltimore. The beans gab hard and true and, ever thorough, gab seven bells out of ham (again), Helen of Troy, lying to barbers and coastal face erosion.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpodFeaturing "superhero fanfare.wav" by humanoid9000 of Freesound.org

Courtesy of Dr. P we present an episode on the theme of pagans. Fill your boots with golf, jet-skis, the history of rambling and the single moment at which the universe began, probably.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpodFeaturing "Castanets, Multi, A (H1).wav" by InspectorJ (www.jshaw.co.uk) of Freesound.org

Gavin has the beans unpack the topic of Jeffreys (Geoffreys?). In an episode stacked with boo boos and bungles the beans tackle Steves, Daves, rubber giraffes and whether or not scampi can ever be a verb.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpodFeaturing "Orchestral Strings, Warm, A.wav" by InspectorJ (www.jshaw.co.uk) of Freesound.org

Olana decrees that the beans have it out about islands. They comply and, in an effort to be thorough, cover ear growth, alternative aviation fuel solutions and how to avoid over-ordering in a restaurant.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Hoist the Jolly Beans! Kathy of Bremen invites the beans to discuss flags and they are careful not to miss out memory aids, brownies, sliced bread and the secret to royal longevity.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Accordionist Alex directs the beans towards the subject of buffets this week. Pile your plates high with UN etiquette, poker with The Boys and how best to handle a fire in a chemical warehouse.Tickets for Beef and Dairy Network live on 11th September 2021 are available here:In theatre tickets - https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/beef-and-dairy-network-podcast-3/Livestream tickets - https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/beef-and-dairy-network-podcast-11-9/Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Listener Sam steers the Beans towards the nightmarish topic of dystopia. Naturally they cover goat silos, national service for children and Andrew Lloyd Webber but they also reveal the true nature of Henry and Mike’s working relationship.Tickets for the livestream of the beans' live show on 2nd September 2021 are available here: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/three-bean-salad-online-streaming-event/Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Battling through a minor bean emergency, the beans take on the topic of romance. Roses, chocolates, candlelight, forcing an eel to swallow a wedding ring.Tickets for the livestream of the beans' live show on 2nd September 2021 are available here: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/three-bean-salad-online-streaming-event/Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

The beans are back! It's time for series two and they kick off by discussing condiments at the behest of a listener called Lloyd. Also covered are gnocchi, electricity pylon safety and shooting a toucan.Tickets for the livestream of the beans' live show on 2nd September 2021 are available here: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/three-bean-salad-online-streaming-event/Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Series two starts next week, but before that, here's a little bean tasting menu of the Beans' favourite bits from series one. The idea is that this might make be a good episode for confirmed Beanheads to point non-Beanheads in the direction of. Why not send it to a friend? Or a sibling? Or basically anyone whose email address you have. Even if that's the customer service email address for your energy supplier. It could be just what they need.

The Beans are doing their first ever live show (and livestream) and would like to tell you about it.London Podcast Festival, 2nd September 2021, 7pm (UK time)Tickets for the livestream can be found here: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/comedy/three-bean-salad-online-streaming-event/

Victoria (probably from Bremen) suggests the topic of purple and the beans roll up their silken sleeves and get stuck in. But not before they've talked about the fact that two of them have recently run into deceased dolphins (one of which was actually a porpoise). Regretably, Mike also talks about his guitar.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Lynzee (don’t know where she’s from, but one assumes Bremen) suggested that the beans talk about magic and in doing so, they discover that Henry used to work in the company of some professional sorcerors. They also read an email about a randy quail.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com   @beansaladpod

When Anna of Bremen suggested the beans hit the topic of musical instruments she could not have known how lethally boring Mike is when he starts talking about the guitar. Luckily the beans navigate away from this sub-topic with skill and cover Henry’s youthful golden flute obsession and why Ben should stick to badminton. Listeners of a sensitive disposition should be warned this episode contains a bean crisis plus Emergency Pompidou.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com   @beansaladpod

Victoria suggests that the beans talk about the subject of sleep. On their way they touch on Margaret Thatcher, soldiers in the jungle, and the act of eating a crab's memories. Plus bird stories.NOTE: do not listen to this episode while you are sleeping or it will reprogramme your brain and you'll wake up with the intellect of a small brown bird.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Someone called Michael suggests that the beans talk about asteroids. With this episode, the listener probably benefits from a working knowledge of six-time world snooker champion Steve Davis (also known as The Nugget, Steve "Interesting" Davis, The Ginger Magician, The Romford Robot, Romford Slim, Master Cueman, Golden Nugget) but crucially, it's still enjoyable even to a listener with no knowledge of this snooker titan. You'll really love it if you ARE Steve Davis.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

It's the first episode based on a listener suggestion, and what a suggestion. Someone called Fiona suggests that the beans talk about bags and the they go at it with gusto and laser-guided precision.  Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

Submarines is this week's topic, and inevitably the beans end up talking about flightless birds. And flightful birds. And flaming pedalos shaped like birds. And macadamia nuts.

Rome is the topic this week so Coventry, sponges and Russell Crowe all get a mention and that's just for starters. Once again, thanks to a man called Gareth for the theme. Soon it'll be your turn to point us in the right direction.

A man called Gareth suggests that we discuss the topic of lizards. And so we cover crabs, octopuses, wolves, and of course, the royal family.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod

A man called Gareth suggests that we discuss the topic of posters and see where it takes us. A counterfeit Santana. Prince Charles's toilet seat. Large and terrifying flightless birds.Get in touch:threebeansaladpod@gmail.com@beansaladpod