The Nick Abbot Habit

This week, a child takes a crooked maths test and we find out what the government spends on itself when we're not looking.

This week's clips include a man calling on an old phone, there's a problem with fish and we find a replacement for Prime Minister Boris Johnson but he might need lots of naps.

This weeks clips include some wet news from a loch, a reminder of who is responsible for a controversial traffic measure and I pick a place for us all to escape to.

It was autumn 2020 and I made a prediction about Donald Trump that Donald Trump tried to make come true and we were laughing in the face of what the world had sent us. Think of it as an historical document with giggles.

This week's clips are from October 2020 when a famous American flew in, a woman was freaked out by her phone and there's some controversy about a classic film.

This week, we were talking cars, there were some rules about eating that we had to get our heads around, Titchi Suitsize had a plan in his old job and some undeserving types got a massive pay rise

This week, there's a bang-up-to-date call from last weekend featuring a disgruntled man in Blackpool, some clips from October 2022, which include the 'C' word (not that one) and a rant about bus lanes.

This week's clips feature a no-fun Tory conference, we were in the midst of The Thing while getting the B word done and Donald Trump takes a test.

This week's clips include a four legged film star, we pull a rat out of the ground to see what the weather will do and a man finds a sexy Brexit benefit

This week's clips are from the day after we got our sovereignty back and feature me ordering things a restaurant had run out of, Nigel Farage unveils a picture and we got some bad news from China

This week's clips are from the day after we got our freedom back, we go over the Brexit festival playlist and I get what I suspect is a joke call from a radio star.

This week, I was struggling to sneeze, there was news of exploding meat and fun with a very small camera.

This week's clips from four years ago feature an uninvited guest in my head, an apocalyptic call from Australia and a dyspeptic Boris Johnson fan.

Rummaging round some old tapes, I found the one where I tried to break in to my own house. I think you'll like it more that I did!

This week, it's a hilarious mash-up of the start of the A-Z of 2019, with a highlight of the A-Z that we just compiled, of 2023. Enjoy!

This week's clips from 2019 feature President Trump being himself, I get a call from a spaced man, there's fun with glue, a woman goes off-grid and an alien pays a visit.

Carrying on from last week, there's reaction to an electrical expert's electrical problem, a hairy conundrum, a problem with the weight of time and political sense goes up in smoke.

This week, we find what Britain is number one at, which war has gone up in a puff of smoke, I have a brief chat with a man who wants to spread the word and an electrical expert calls.

This week is a special all-Donny episode in celebration of the time his plans for a state visit to these shores were turned upside down.

This week's clips from Spring 2019 feature Theresa May as Prime Minister, some Tories were alarmed at the thought of Boris Johnson replacing her, as though that would ever happen, and there's some instructions from high up. Very high up.

This week, an old adversary calls, I duck out of imitating Ann Widdecombe for health reasons and there's an incident in the kitchenette.

This week's clips are mostly from April 2019 when the right wing couldn't make up their minds on whether they wanted actors to talk politics, there was a wave warning, a smoking police officer with a suspicious lock-up and it ends with a brand new clip from last weekend from a caller who has become something of a favourite

This week's clips from 2019 include me getting mistaken for my twin Diane Abbott, a man calls with a solution to stress and ladybirds attack.

This week's clips from 2019 include me buying a car, Jacob Mee-Smugg says something stupid, a man calls in on hemp and there's two bang-up-to-date calls from last weekend that you may enjoy.

This week's clips are of a protest to skirt round, we go looking for sea life and find an alarming recipe for soap.

It was a week of protests against protests, there was a pink boat with a celebrity onboard and we found a possible benefit of sea levels rising. 

This week's clips include talk about polls, I make a prediction in 2019 that came true in 2023 and we were looking forward to the last series of the biggest show on Earth.

This week, in clips from 2019, Mrs M was having a 'mare, we saw a picture of something invisible and take a trip on a magic dolphin.

Following on from last week, there was some disagreement about the next James Bond, a woman falls foul of a dress code and there's a cab on the way that will never arrive.

This week, there's an 007 issue and an irate call from an irate man, I call out Twitterers, predict Donald Trump's future and wonder at French people.

This week, I get an appointment with the head doctor, everyone disagrees with everyone all the time and there's a chemical warfare experiment update.

This week's clips are a mix of old and very new. From 2019 an old lady picked a fight with all young people, an American explains what Britain was going through and Nigel mentions the war. From last weekend, there's a world exclusive: the resignation letter that Nadine Dorries didn't write.

It's 2019 and I make a prediction about Donald Trump, have a heated chat with a Leaver who I bet has changed his mind since we talked four and a half years ago, and we remember when Paulie Walnuts got his nails done. 

It was 2019 and we were comparing sizes, a lot of people were ringing to tell me I'd "lost, get over it" and there was an eye-witness to Nigel Farage's super-human abilities.

In this week's clips from 2019, we were trying to name a prominent Mark, I accurately predict our future, we hear of some unpleasant place names and there's a tale of two marches.

This week, I am at the end of a 16 show-in-a-row stretch and high on carpet cleaner, I plan a total radio takeover and we search for a Good Mark.

This week I overdose on dandruff medicine, Donald Trump attacks Mrs M. and there's a comedy parade of the permanently furious.

This week, I get a second dose of chemical warfare, we take a trip to see Led Zeppelin for next to nothing at all and Uncle Nigel gets wet.

This week, Nigel takes a stroll, there's the secret to happiness and I get high on carpet cleaner. Those last two are not connected.

This week, I see vapour trails coming off everything, we get a spy report from Denmark and there's a LOT of happiness about.

It was Spring 2019 and Julian Assange had just emerged from the Ecuadorian embassy, I appear to lose my mind and am disappointed by both the French and a black hole.

This week, banker waves his money at me, I admit to doing Top Secret work and a man finds something great on a bus.

This week, in clips from 2019, I get threatened with half a billion people, there's a car nightmare and from this weekend, two bang-up-to-date callers, one is a Humphrey and the other does the Wokey-Cokey.

This week, the nation gets told off by a Rose, there's a lesson in chocolate, a report from a Ramones gig and I find the origin of a favourite sound clip I play.

In Spring of 2019, the word "flextention" had just been coined, Mrs M was doing her best, I'd had a face full of something poisonous and the Dad's Army recreation society was having a moment.

This week, a lady has a make-up crisis, there was intense discussions between the clown shoe lady and the bearded weirdo and people were stockpiling in case Brexit went badly.

It was Spring 2019 and the thought of Boris Johnson becoming Prime Minister came up (oh how we laughed), a man muttered something about the royals taking charge and the House of Commons was spouting sewage.

In this episode, I get picked on by the mayor, we talk artificial intelligence (years before Chat GPT came along) and there's an unfortunate incident with a monkey

This week I get messages from numpties, we talk man-caves and a man called about something we weren't discussing and rather takes over.

This week, we were being dazzled, Nigel Farage was planning a protest march, Theresa May was busy negotiating and a prince was telling us to live more sustainably

In this week's clips, we find out who is responsible for a big TV game show, I fail to win a million pounds on another game show, I get a call from an odd hatchback driver and, in a bang up to date clip, we hear from a person who can speak when he says nothing at all.

This week, there's two clips that are bang up to date, one of which is confusing, the other a bit frightening. For the rest of the time, we are in 2019 and it was International Women's Day.

This week's clips from 2019 include talk about money, Tubular Bells and grits. It ends with a very recent pair of calls from last month, one is a Boris Johnson fan who calls to defend him and a nice lady has a horror story about pets.

This week's clips from 2019 include Nigel Farage on a mission, we were concerned about American food and threatened with riots. There's also a very clip from about a week ago in which I was taken to task by a Boris Johnson fan.

It was 2019 and I'd had a win on the Lottery, Defence Secretary Gavin Williamson was trying to be frightening, Donald Trump got a health check and Nigel Farage organised a march.

It's a bit different this week - there's clips from 2019 when Mrs M was in power and the Tories were fighting with anything that moved, there's a question about where's London and this week I've included a very recent clip from this month that I think you may enjoy. I know I did!

This week's clips include talking about billionaires, a caller expressed themselves in an artistic manner and I give a firm but fair opinion on rugby.

This week's clips are from four years ago when we were having an oddly familiar conversation, took a peek at the internet and took the bus to Wetherspoons.

This week's clips are from this time four years ago when the weather was fantastic, Tories were fighting with each other and there was a crisis in a coffee shop.

This week's clips are from early 2019 when Donald Trump was going on about his huge and tremendous wall, we found that the internet is lying to us and we got bad news about Bournemouth.

It was 2019 and the kids were having a grand day out to protest about climate change, I learned something about Bournemouth and people were fearing what was coming from the skies.

This week's clips are from 2019 when a certain personage had crashed his car, school pupils decided to do something because adults weren't and there was an issue with bugs.

This week's clips are from February 2019 when there was a weather forecast that should give up hope for next month, a new political party had been formed that you may already have forgotten existed and we found we were about to get sent back to the Stone Age.

This week's clips are from 2019 when we thought we were living in odd times. If only we knew what was round the corner! In these clips, we help an isolated man in Yorkshire and a farmer is very angry with me.

It was February 2019 and a British colony was under attack, I got animated about the national antem, there was David Beckham news and some billionaires got told off.

This weeks clips are from 2019 and there's some funny stuff here. There was warnings of food shortages, someone thought that KFC running out of chicken was their way of scuppering Brexit, a caller tried to explain things based on what he understood and some light winter weather had had the usual consequences.

This weeks clips from 2019 feature me getting confused about cricket, having a fight with some callers, choosing a favourite song and comparing Jeremy Corbyn to a Star Wars character.

This week's clips are from 2019 when we were staring at windmills, dreaming of island living, ruining Pink Floyd and I had an electricity crisis.

We dance around the years in this one. Starting in 2020 for a little light conspiracy theorising, then back to 2019 for a road safety fail and I get a request, which sounds like a demand.

It was Autumn 2020 and a man picked fight about pubs, another honours list was announced, a lady had a controversial cure for the mad bat disease, we looked forward to an important announcement and noticed a household design fault.

This weeks clips include Donny goes to hospital, as really stupid idea from Gavin Williamson and an even stupider one from Pritti Patel and a rat gets its just deserts.

It was Autumn 2020 and there was a rush on in the supermarkets, people were confused about restrictions, some callers sounded very refreshed and there was revolution in the air

This week, Donald Trump's fans are confused, it was two years ago and we were all about the bubbles and I get a little too much praise for my part in fighting the Mad Bat Disease.

This week's clips are from Autumn 2020 when a certain Boris Johnson insisted we shouldn't have parties, we were envious of Swedes (not the vegetable) and there was a protest parade about pretty much everything.

It was two years ago and there was the curious case of the see-through premier, confusion about Level 42, some concern about burgers and a slight communication breakdown.

This week, Donald Trump's fans get that sinking feeling, the government threatened us to get back to teh office, I lose track of time and a man shares a little too much

This week's clips are from when the English football team proved a disappointment, David Blaine did something odd with ice and Donald Trump flipped out when he saw where he was staying in London.

This week's clips are from Autumn 2020 and follow on from last week's podcast, in which a chap thought I should give away all my money, we were reminiscing about the days before Bodger Johnson took over, our new trade deal-maker was announced to be an Australian, and a man in Johnson's constituency was not totally satisfied with everything, especially me.

It was Autumn 2020 and I get interrupted by a digital intrusion, I have a heated debate wit a bloke who thinks I am the problem, pick a fight with Australia and America and at the end there's a great call from this weekend just gone.

This week's clips are from a pretty important period in which the wheels started coming off the clown car, I take a fiery call from one of the usual suspects and fail to recognise some celebrities.

This week's clips have people fighting like cats and dogs, I talk about waiting for the music, the government were telling us to go outside after telling us to stay indoors and there's a curious tale about a balcony invasion

It was August two years ago and the government were telling us to go back to work after telling us not to, I have some good advice for a TV show set to return and we remember when no-one was allowed in the front room.

This weeks clips include me explaining what's wrong with other drivers, I prove that no-one is interested in a cultural institution at the centre of a BIG row and I make a prediction about Donald Trump

This week's podcast follows on from last week's clips and features a square sheep, a silly song and raging at roads.

This week's clips we were perplexed by the world's most expensive sheep, I measured the size of Nigel Farage's mouth and people were getting wound up by a song

This week’s clips are from the start of the Mad Bat Disease. It hadn’t hit yet but van drivers were thinking about getting security and tourists were told not to act like they were on holiday!

This week’s clips are from Spring 2020 and a man calls from his zoo, a woman calls from her fire engine and I buy a bowler hat.

This week’s clips are from Spring 2020, in which a lady recreates Noah’s Ark, there’s things you don’t want to see in a pandemic, The Goop Woman Strikes Back, being late for the Sex Pistols and the War of the Worlds.

This week’s clips are from the start of the Mad Bat Disease, there were reports of disappointment at the supermarket, we learned how not to get divorced, I had a holiday disaster and received one of the most mystifying calls ever.

This week, there’s new rules about money, a loo with a view, the musty aroma of a pub and I look forward to a dental appointment.

This week’s clips are from early 2020 when we were just hearing about the Mad Bat Disease and some people were taking advantage, there’s a phoney French listener with material and a confusing message from New York.

This week’s clips are from when we were just hearing about the Mad Bat Disease and include a restauranteur with an idea, a man who offers to subject himself to free beer and panic buying was afoot.

These clips include science advice from a self confessed genius, we were trying not to touch our faces and were frightened of running out of toilet paper

This week’s clips include a mystifying call about the truth, there’s a worrying development in the animal kingdom and Bodger Johnson spies a job creation opportunity.

This week, there’s the rules of the bathroom dance, we were freaking out about washing our hands and I found that animals are playing catch-up.

This week’s clips from two years ago include me not getting calmed about a dental visit, the Eurovision Song Contest was imminent and no-one had seen the Dear Leader in a while.

This week’s clips are from two years ago when people were wondering where Bodger had got to, as he seemed to have disappeared. Turns out he was selling himself to the highest Russian bidder, a man called with something unfathomable and listeners pick fights with each other.

In this week’s clips we were trying to save the planet, one plastic bag at a time, there was alarming news on the price of a kitchen gadget and we hear about the surprising stuff people found in the street.

This week we were enjoying our all-new passports, a voter is not entirely satisfied with how his decision turned out and I explain why some footwear is ill advised.

This week’s clips are from two years ago when Bodger Johnson had done one of his disappearing acts, people had started to turn anti-packaging and we get a lecture from a bank.

This week, we find out something alarming about the pandemic, people were upset about the environment, there was a Friends reunion and we discover where the Queen is to be found.

In this episode we have lots of fun with weather and Bodger Johnson’s place gets a touch-up.

These clips from two years ago include our first taste of panic buying, a listener with material manages to get one by me and a nice lady shares her breakfast routine.

This week’s clips are from two years ago when people were panic buying lettuce, Meghan Sparkles had not yet been dubbed the Wicked Witch of the West, I was trying not to touch my face and we learned something alarming about pasta.

This week’s clips are from the start of our journey through the mad bat disease, when we were experiencing our first supermarket sweeps of toilet paper and we were trying not to touch our faces.

These clips are from a couple of years ago when I had a Nesquik disaster, we were starting to panic about toilet paper and everyone was going germ-free.

This week’s podcast has me not complaining about feeling ill, I make a prediction about government policy, we talk about the artist Banksy and we were just starting out on our journey with the invisible menace.

This week’s clips are from when I had a cold and was also suffering from inhaling a foreign object in my sleep but as you can imagine, I wasn’t complaining about it at all!

This week there’s more talk of the Death Bat, Donny and Bodger’s relationship sours and I have a go at SUV drivers.

This week’s clips from two years ago include several animal nightmares, a boat load of people get sent to Milton Keynes, something other than the disease was giving us reason to be concerned about China and we got into James Bond’s car.

This weeks clips are from two years ago when we were expecting a storm, we hadn’t yet started on our Covid nightmare, I had a row with a nice lady about an awful man and I was suffering from a fluffy vermin attack.

This week’s clips include Donald Trump’s weird attraction to a certain animal, there’s an alarming prediction about our future, I take in something that disagrees with me, we were at the very start of the virus thing and Dominic Cummings had yet to test his eyesight, Boris Johnson was our new leader and I get called something I’ve never been called before.

This week’s clips are from two years ago when someone wanted to give Bodger a chance, a man had an interesting idea for dinner and there was a storm-a-coming.

This week’s clips are from two years ago, when we had not yet experienced the delights of Covid or a Boris Johnson leadership. The nation was gripped by a wardrobe malfunction and worried about the state of bees and there’s advice on what not to put in your neighbour’s letter box.

This week the nation was gripped by an off-the-shoulder number, bees were a problem and a wide range of experts called to talk about things they knew nothing about.

This week, I have a fight with the equipment, someone doesn't quite understand a Labour Party promise, a storm is coming in, some people get stuck in Milton Keynes and we realise we are not the brightest things on Earth.

This week's clips are from the first day of our freedom from the Evil European Overlords, I get a proposal from a lady in Croydon, we fail to spot a celebrity, find a dog's worth £10m and discover something awful about a certain cuddly bear.

This week's clips are from the day after we escaped the clutches of the European Socialist Superstate and we were having a LOT of fun. There was a playlist to guess, a portrait to marvel at and a suspicious call from someone who might not be who they said they were.

It was the day after our glorious escape from our evil European overlords and everyone was in a great mood, including me. There was a small cloud on our horizon of a mysterious invisible menace brewing in China but apart from that we were all fired up and full of beans. This show was a hoot.

It is the day this podcast has been building up to for a while now and it finally arrived. We left the EU on the 31st of January 2020 and Nick Ferrari was on air for the glorious moment. I followed afterwards and here's a flavour of what happened, with some predictions of what might happen next, which were either very right, or very wrong.

This week, Australia was on fire, China was reacting to a virus that hadn't got here yet, I had a dicky tummy and Donald Trump allowed companies to pollute America's rivers - good job that wouldn't happen here, eh?

This week's clips are from the week before we left the Evil European Socialist Superstate, President Tangerine Scream reclassified food, I was bravely putting up with a dodgy stomach and Boris Johnson said something stupid.

We were just a week away from our glorious future outside the evil EU superstate, word was coming from China about a mysterious new illness and I was recovering from a dodgy oyster.

This week's clips are from when we were hearing of the invisible menace from China for the first time and I may have been one of the first people in this country to get it. Or it might have been a dodgy bivalve

This week, it was the week before we left the European Union to access our perfect new lives, a man calls to tell me about his organ and we solve global warming in one easy step.

This week, in clips from January 2020, Donald Trump announced his Space Force, we were a week away from our glorious future outside the Evil European Socialist Superstate and I declare war on trees.

This week, in clips from January 2020, a man wakes up from what sounds like a coma and sees who our prime minister is, the church talk about sex a lot and there's the very first inkling from China that things may be going downhill.

This week's clips were from just before we escaped the Evil European Overlords, one lady was very upset about it, there's a spooky prediction about empty shelves and quite a lot of eccentric callers.

This week, there's some calls so impenetrable you'd need to be Alan Turing to figure them out, Sajman Jav slips up and we learn who is the backbone of this great country.

This week's clips come from when Hazza and Sparkles were causing consternation by not following the script we had written for them, we were about to be free of our European Socialist Overlords, The Tangerine Scream was still in the Whitehouse and quite a few callers were not completely satisfied with me.

This week, people were obsessing about the colour of their passports, there's crisps and chocolate at the same time and Hazza and Sparkles were threatening to leave.

This week's clips are from just weeks before we gained our freedom from the Evil Socialist Superstate and someone was planning a celebration. I get a call from an old enemy and one from a customer who is not completely satisfied.

This week's clips are from days before we ascended the sunny uplands of our glorious future and left the Evil Socialist Superstate, the nation was searching for loose change, Donito Mussolini was flexing his muscle and it was all a bit "Dad's Army".

These clips are from just weeks before we first heard about an invisible menace in China and we were occupied by other matters like what Hazza and Sparkles were going to do next and, most pressingly, how we should celebrate our glorious exit from the Evil European Superstate.

We are in January 2020 when we were bathing in the glory of a new leader and the invisible menace was yet to be heard of. There's the best TV shows, a unique way of funding the nation's favourite institution and all eyes were on Hazza and Sparkles.

These clips are from January 2020, just before we left the EU and before we heard of the invisible menace that was just around the corner. There's quite some chat about the royals and an old friend of the show calls to talk about "algorithms".

This week's clips are from January last year and we were talking then about many of the things we are still talking about now. A heartless, evil woman from far, far away had come to steal our precious puppy, World War 3 looked like it was about to begin and an "expert" calls.

This week is a bit spooky as a good few months before we had ever heard of the virus, the idea of wearing masks and working from home came up, along with something odd in a farmer's field and even weirder up a skyscraper.

Hi, Nick Abot listener, We’ve got another brand new podcast we think you’ll enjoy. ‘I’ve Been Thinking’ is a new weekly show hosted by Peter Frankopan. As well as being a best-selling author (Silk Roads), Professor of Global History and Oxford and voted as one of the World’s Top 50 Thinkers, Peter uses this podcast to speak with some incredible guests looking at topics from around the world that help understand and explain the past, present and future. Guests include former Director of the FBI James Comey and Chinese artist & activist Ai Weiwei. This is a taster of what you can expect from the show. If you like what you hear please search for I’ve Been Thinking with Peter Frankopan on Global Player or wherever you get your podcasts.

This week's clips are from the end of a marathon run of shows over Christmas 2019. Donald Trump had just bombed Iran, Australia was on fire, someone commits a milk crime and I declare war on daytime TV.

This week, the clips are from just after New Year 2020 and we take a trip round the new Prime Minister's love nest hideaway, wonder why there's no female equivalent for a "toyboy", dampen a singed wallaby and get a foretaste of panic buying in the supermarkets.

This week's clips are from early 2020 when it looked like World War 3, there is a lot of rage around, just like today, and I go into what I think that is all about.

Hi Nick Abbot fans – we have a new True Crime podcast we think you’ll enjoy called ‘If It Bleeds It Leads’ Could you be a criminal? What separates the way you think, from the criminal mind? Join the world’s leading professor of criminology, Prof. David Wilson and star of Silent Witness Emilia Fox as they discover what’s really going on behind some of the most notorious crimes. What do you do with have-a-go heroes who try to stop you robbing a bank? What's it like inside an escalating prison riot? And how do you deal with Britain’s most infamous hitman telling you he's been ordered to kill you? In this podcast series you’ll hear from offenders, the police, crime experts and investigators as we delve into the workings of the criminal mind. Here’s a sneaky peak and the first Episode drops on Monday 14th June. If you like what you hear search for ‘If It Bleeds It Leads’ on Global Player or wherever you get your podcasts.

This week we go behind the scenes (allegedly) of doctor wotsit off the telly, I get attacked by a fan of the kooky president of a kooky country and there's an incident in the Pound Shop.

This week we are forced to pick a seat in the cinema, the EU take our windows away, a strange argument is used for eating on the bus and I get put right off my breakfast.

This week we cover everything in chocolate, find something awful on the bus, wash our shopping long before covid appeared and eat off a tree.

This week: Kier Starmer's hair, what to do with a squirrel, getting a takeaway from the zoo and what not to eat on a train.

This week, some time traveling between when Boris Johnson was elected leader of the Tories and how we felt about him two months later, there's a certain Nigel getting hit with a tasty treat and something weird about baked beans.

This week, in clips from two years ago, which proves that nothing much changes, Boris Johnson has a fight over furniture, I get schooled in the delights of Bon Jovi and we find out which country's people think they are going in the right direction (not who might think).

This week's is a hoot - there's a reminder of how unreliable summers can be and a tantrum on the tennis court but mostly there's a lot of shouting and crashing coming from Boris Johnson's girlfriend's flat.

This week, we were contemplating the Tory leadership contest horror show, there was a spy report from a certain woman-group concert and I pick a fight with a heavy metal band.

This week a re-match with an old sparring partner, trying to see Madonna from the cheap seats, how to get a new bike and who to blame if thing's aren't going your way.

This week, there's a shocker about Madonna, I get interrogated about drugs, there's a disagreement about Genesis and Donito Mussolini picks a fight with one of ours.

This week, the comical demands of the Tangerine Tornado when he wanted to stay with the Queen but couldn't, an up-to-date shocker about the world's most expensive room and a young person calls and gets caught in a game show.

This week, the return of the naked cyclists, Donny kicks balls and I explain magnets.

This week, magnets in space, naked cyclists and how to catch a social disease (not related).

This week, in the race to become our next Prime Minister, the candidates have a spliff-off, Donald Trump titillates the Queen and what a San Francisco tram smells like.

This week, a news clip that will delight a certain section of the country who will never get tired of hearing it, having a laugh with the Marxist Brothers and how to spend £40 billion.

This week, how we avoided World War Three, which politician looks like a Lord of the Rings character, what 5G will make more difficult and who's fault is everything!

This weeks clips are from Spring 2019 when the country held its breath for the arrival of Cheeto Mussolini. The Baby Tornado was going to blow into town and some people had made special preparations.

This week, a cat goes cold turkey, we find a use for the spice jar at the back of your cupboard and a certain orange tornado was planning to visit.

This week a certain Baby Tornado was due to arrive at the Palace in April 2019, there's a mystifying call about drugs from a person who may be familiar with them and some alarming news of very personal outer-space visitors.

This week, a man complains to an unlikely individual about his electricity, I conduct a very brief chat with an old "friend" and we talk pot a lot.

This week I mix clips from April 2019 with one bang up to date from last weekend in honour of the departure from the Whitehouse of the Tangerine Scream. Plus there's some alarming news for people who like to...you know...do it.

This week, a certain tangerine nightmare was planning an invasion of this country. This week's clips are from two years ago, when everything that happened this month seemed entirely predictable.

A bumper festive issue that has aliens, commandments and meat and is stuffed full of fruits and nuts.

This week, I see into our future, mix a cocktail for a tube train and fight a dwarf warrior in Middle-earth

This week there are a LOT of facts thrown about and even I learn something. There's a very surprising piece of information about solar panels, we learn why cows are better than boats and there's a little hot fracking action.

This week, a boat gets dismantled by law experts, how to shame Denmark and there's a hint of automotive trouble to come.

This week, we get educated about things that go boom, some eco-ists get threatened with bascules and an airborne menace that's not the virus.

This week, there is nothing like a dame on a mission, the next best thing to having a car and the answer to our stressed out, frantic lives.

Hi Nick Abbot fans LBC have a new podcast we think you’ll enjoy - Hosted by legendary reporter John Sweeney, Hunting Ghislaine is a 6 part series about Ghislaine Maxwell, the daughter of a disgraced billionaire and the former partner of a super-rich paedophile who killed himself while awaiting trial for sex trafficking. After hiding for almost a year, she now finds herself facing multiple charges for helping Jeffrey Epstein sexually exploit and abuse under-age women which could lead to her spending the rest of her life in jail. In this new podcast series, Hunting Ghislaine, reporter John Sweeney investigates a fairy story which happens the wrong way round, of how a princess ends up accused of being the monster and no-one at all ends up happily ever after. First Episode available 19th November. Listen on Global Player or wherever you get your podcasts

This week, the IQ of frogs, buying a car while your head is swimming and the slightly controversial but sustainable way to clean yourself.

This week, we're off to sea on a beautiful bright pink boat, a Dame hoves into view and London is given back to the people.

This week, we find that we are melting while zooming through space while out of control. I school the youth to do their bit and the EU is corrected by a furious lady in Blackpool.

This week, the clips are taken from a year before the virus had been heard of but there is a spooky message of what was to come, we marvel at the size of a politician's tubers and if you want to make your own Donald Trump, the recipe is right here.

Hi Nick Abbot fans LBC have a new podcast we think you’ll enjoy - Hosted by Lionel Barber, the former Editor of the Financial Times, What Next? focuses on life after COVID-19 and sees the multi-award-winning journalist and author discover how the world is adapting to the pandemic, what needs to change and, most importantly, what lessons we have learnt that will shape our lives for the future. Each week, Lionel will be speaking to some of the biggest leading influential figures in the health, politics, business, technology, arts and environment world, such as former Prime Minister Tony Blair; Elizabeth Cousens, President and CEO of the United Nations Foundation; ITV’s Chief Executive Dame Carolyn McCall and many more. Follow Lionel on Twitter: @lionelbarber. Listen and subscribe now on Global Player or wherever you get your podcasts

This week, in clips from Spring 2019, there's a prediction about where the next financial crash would come from (subsequently proved to be WAY out), an automotive expert calls to correct me and I have a go at Donito Mussolini (so unfair!).

This week's podcast is from a show recorded before the world had ever heard of that bloomin' virus and includes a little light altercation about a subject that used to occupy us before all this hit the fan, multiple people raise a complaint, a man finds a winning ticket and one chap who has no idea who I am, and barely knows where he is, calls after getting completely refreshed.

This week's podcast is from last year when I went to war with the Mayor of London (he started it), I survive a builders' dust incident and there is a horrible image of two people kissing.

This week, the cleanest party launch ever, a man with a weird way of saying things rings in to say a lot, the perils posed by poorer people and the price of a cab.

This week I find myself agreeing with some people I never thought would be on my side, I have a stand up row about money and a woman calls who swears she isn't drunk.

This week, top of the non-season to you. As a helpful primer, we learn when to tell your kids there's no Santa, an orange giant rails against windmills, there's the smallest and most disappointing food delivery ever and what not to put in your bath.

This week, we celebrate Christmas very, very early. Jesus' personal friend calls in, I am bemused by Quentin Tarantino, Boris Johnson is revealed to have a cunning plan, I have an altercation at the lights and how to avoid get ripped off.

This week, there's a crush at the shops, I spy Steve Allen's Bentley and a listener with material gets a joke past me without me noticing.

This week, we investigate the similarity of electing Boris Johnson and waiting for a new Star Wars film, I have a right old row about a subject that used to be top of the news before a certain little something unseated it, and the alarming state of what's outside.

This week I make a prediction which could not have been more wrong, there's a close encounter with a personal explosive problem, I launch an attack on a weapons manufacturer and have a shouting match about politeness.

This week: there's a lot of weather about, all of it the wrong sort; a man has an issue with electric cars; an upper class twit fails a test and what ice caps are really for.

This week I have a frighteningly accurate guess at the future, we hear a couple of plans to save the world, a man uses a device to get in touch that I bet you haven't used in decades and we hear how valuable our opinions are.

This week: the danger on your dinner plate, how to greenify your car, ripped jeans and the total destruction of Planet Earth.

This week everything breaks but makes a very nice colour, a man is scared of Trumpists, Super Puff Planets (whatever they are) and one of those give-up-something-for-a-month things.

This week, a listener with material gets one by me, a weather update from Sudan, my glamorous assistant gets corrected, I give bad advice about what to do during a roadside sobriety test and we find out what makes Dutch people laugh.

This week, I get shouted at a lot by people who don't believe in climate change, I wonder if you can switch off the internet and make plans to re-purpose Australia for the benefit of the planet.

This week, we learn how to say "Bowie", I recount everything I learned at university, a mystery is solved and there's a happy encounter with a star.

This week, I am deluged by weather, a listener with material manages to get a joke on air and a very confusing man explains who he is disappointed with.

This week it is an educational podcast full of verifiable facts, some of which are also true. There's bumps in space, weather control machines and the price of tomatoes.

This week, a reminder that a certain controversial beanie hat model has been making news for quite a while, what to eat for the most important meal of the day, what happens when ice melts and are breaks important on a car.

This week I have a major rant about climate change, we learn what to have with a beer, how to prevent your car from being stolen in South Africa and what to do when presented with something that makes you look bad.

This week: how to ruin a planet and where to live when you're done; what goes with beer, cider and blackcurrant; the way to raise children and how many is too many.

This week: how to ruin a perfectly good beverage, defending Marmite, funny badges and titles and a LOT of weather.

This week: Steve Allen's Bentley, the B-side that became an A-side, why DIY usually fails and I'm asked how big is Boris Johnson.

This week a woman plots the path to eternal bliss, a man ignores his smoke alarm and we find who or what is a Victorian unit.

This week, I school a lady on the subject of the internet, there is an ingenius solution to a warning light problem and love the Belgian way.

This week: Star Wars, smart speakers fight back, a man tells me to get on my bike and I have to correct my glamorous assistant.

This week, I revisit the time when I locked myself out, a woman makes an emtional plea to the young, a chap has an altercation with a youth and...LOOK OUT!..Ancient Orange is coming our way.

This week, there is a lot of Neil Young, a rant ot two about (un)social media, the importance of knowing how many animals you have, the pros and cons of Coldplay and how to get what you want by using pads.

This week a man admits to doing something we need but rarely see, there's a whole lotta boomer-bashing going on, where not to grow up in the 1960's and a stand-up row about class.

This week, I receive an alarming amount of praise, the plans to make you drive like a robot, Trump's family whines and an electrical expert speaks.

This week there's a little light to-do over the Queen's stuff, a man wants MPs to not do their job, the mystery of the disappearing cat and the Big Rice Debate.

This week, the story of a strange return, an illuminated jacket saves the world, top 11 reasons why Trumple Thinskin is nuts and a fight about babies.

This week, a rock and roll roadie refuses to spill the beans, there's cats on drugs, some concrete has a birthday and a home selling problem.

Description: This week: your personal, private rules of the road; a little light sarcasm; tracksuits; a message from afar and a tale from even further.

This week, I make the mistake of reading the leaflet that came with my pills, try to recall the name of the second best Star Wars film, Donald Trump tells us about his wand and how to cook chips.

This week there's squirrels, turtles, clapping and the perils of going to the cinema. I get asked a very difficult question and robots laugh at our culinary skills.

This week, an alarming discovery in Siberia, a lively disagreement about a particular sport, I read the pamphlet that came with my pills and insects doing maths.

This week, after Extinction Rebellion was briefly listed as a terrorist organisation, we revisit the time when the pink boat people took over central London and had a surprising effect. There's also a little light cat massaging, Pink Floyd ear worms and a very difficult way to earn money.

It turns out that it is frighteningly easy to lock yourself out and incredibly hard to break back in again

This week, someone overcomes the laws of nature and defies death, there's a chap with a delicious accent talking about Baby Yoda, a priceless chat with the "algorithm" man and I receive an unwelcome visitor in the dead of night.

This week , Donald Trump's scary blimp, a little light political fighting, the EU bans dying and I find a friend in a friend of Jesus.

This week, we go back to the summer and learn about Theresa May's Brasier, there's the Bob Dylan v Kylie Minogue Heavyweight Championship Ultimate Smackdown, we sing the praises of a certain type of cat and a man in Dallas speaks French.

This week, we learn about loos on the 8.03, the type of pills you should never run out of, there's a rant about drivers, the great insect war hots up and what one man looks for in a woman (not what you would ever think).

This week, I am pummeled by volume, a caller asks an incredible question, a discussion about economics that was decided by two falls and a submission and there's a peek behind the scenes of my radio show.

This week, I go to the seaside, get a lesson in science from someone who knows less than I do, there's a heated debate about the value of the royals and a woman complains about my volume.

This week is a hoot-and-a-half. There's tales of misdemeanours at the highest level, an offensive but cute cat story, what it means to be British and I get shouted at a LOT!

This week, a caller has a go at all of my other callers, a man doesn't like my atitude, a woman talks about her knees and I sign up for Mad Max Fury Road 2.

This week, we finger a guilty party, a woman has a bin rant, the problem with the England football manager and fashion.

This week, there's some controversial things said about political opponents, a classic call about cheese and a lot of rock and roll.

This week, we go back..way back...back into time, a great double act call in, I try to get a GP appointment and saving the planet with Prince Harry.

This week there's a message from a small green Muppet, we relive a famous domestic incident, a foreigner commiserates us for our choice of leader, the most miserable countries are ranked and I miss something that I always said I didn't want.

This week, we learn of a terrible use for hairspray (nothing to do with Donald Trump), a man complains about his job, how not to watch Pulp Fiction and what Boris Johnson's name says about him.

This week there's a lot of people calling me on the phone with terrible tales about using their phone and losing their phone. There's stories about flying phones, emergency dialing, a missing sixpence, getting lost in the Fens, extra chillies and keeping things for best.

This week, we stick our fingers in the socket to stop the electricity leaking out, I am left bewildered by a caller that I can't quite follow and we find the source of Boris Johnson's popularity.

In this week's riotous podcast, we hear there's (no) evidence of God, I hatch a shocking plan to deal with our most disappointing politicians, a man tries to come up with one good reason to leave something that doesn't exist and I try to make sense of what the hell is going on.

This week, we strike a trade deal with a very unlikely place, eliminate poverty, fit Jacob Rees-Mogg with a Home Guard uniform and broom handle, root around Steve Allen's sock drawer and I get schooled by a Jamaican man on ganja (he schooled me on ganja, not was ON ganja...although come to think of it...)

This week I play Simon Cowell and discover a star, there's lights in the sky and they aren't stars and I get a lesson in politeness.

This week we get skooled in writing proper by Jacob Rees-Mogg, we try to play Fortnite but we aren't dressed right, a man tries and fails to explain the weather and there's an alarming suggestion about how to stop global warming.

This week my glamorous assistant shares too much, I get a lesson in moaning from a man in the theatre, the moon people come out at night and a shocking revelation about what actually goes on in the loo.

In this episode we hear of an alarming way to combat crime, we discuss this nation's sporting excellence, a man calls in with his head in his hands and a woman clears up after herself because it is the right thing to do.

This week, I get a history lesson from Austria, the mystery of why people fall for the Tangerine Scream, a solution to your stress, and a man has a problem with his tool.

This week: a caller starts a massive fight about Europe, we learn the truth about democracy, I am taken to task about something I didn't say and Boris Johnson is challenged to go naked mud wrestling.

This time, we learn just how boring French TV is, there's a lot of talk about kebabs, a woman calls in with a question but doesn't like the answer and I have a special moment that I couldn't help but share.

In this episode: I am corrected by a furious cab driver; a lady complains about James Bond; a man asks many questions about Trump, Boris and God; we fly the flag for Britain and someone calls in with an answer to crime - all of it.

This week, I get told off for getting something right, a bewildering call comes from someone with qualifications, we get sniffy about phone boxes and the tale of the Sunday Laundry Criminals.

Glasto is not the only show in town but it is certainly the biggest and that's where we go this week, with a detour to Farageland, advice on tents and a little light arguing about the "B" word.

In the age of the 24 hour-a-day multiple news-gasms, let The Nick Abbot Habit be your guide. It's fast and funny and sometimes furious. All opinions are correct, apart from those that aren't. Plus Nick's favourite calls from his cult weekend talk show. Guaranteed no baking or dancing.

This week, we take a peek at 1970's bathroom suites, find out a lot about islands, I have a fight with a man about cars, someone spots A John Cleese (not THE John Cleese) and we discover what a major industrialist thinks of his old boss Donald Trump.

This week, helpful callers have excellent advice for Theresa May, who may not like it; there's an unseemly way to serve strawberries; how to say 'scone' and a man in a bra fills a bath with potatoes.

In this episode, I receive a very brief call from God's representative on Earth, we go yodeling in Holland and there is a minor altercation about Brexit and Trump.

This week, we learn how to save water by brushing your teeth funny, how to waste water by keeping your fake grass moist, how to lose money by letting politicians mark their own homework and I have a stand-up fight with a man who doesn't think I'm taking Brexit seriously.

This week: some people spoiled their ballot papers and one man was very proud about it; a perfectly believable theory on why that might not be a good idea and a pretty good joke about it; saving money without really trying and a woman has a beef with Scotland.

This week, the shortest call to my LBC show, a man gets a surge, a young woman deliberately shuts out the on-line world and the US Navy says aliens from space are here and a professor says they are breeding with us.

This week, we talk cars and pink boats, weird science, a man from the bank protests his innocence and we go fondling tubers.

This week: which pet makes you happiest, swinging with Nigel Farage, pronouncing Anunzianzioozit and a shouty woman bangs on about the war.

This week, the effect that Brexit is having on your personal facial area, the competing stories on the origins of Easter eggs, how we are paying for the private jets of the super-rich, the spy in your car, Game of Thrones returns and a very energetic senior citizen sets us straight.

This week, we terminate some superspy candidates, over-eat chocolate treats, there's a lot of marching going on and a confused man sets me homework.

In this episode, the inside scoop on Nigel Farage's Stroll to Nirvana, the army is on standby to keep a lid on things if our exit celebrations get out of hand and an American explains what's happening 6000 miles away in Britain.

This week, the perils of a day trip to the south coast, the worst drivers on the road, a little light heavy music and I get told I'm not doing my job correctly.

Some of my favourite calls from the past few months, which I think are properly hilarious. There's the man who got locked in the toilet, the lady with the sparrows in her garden, the shortest call about Brexit ever and the nice Liverpudlian who got a big surprise from Amazon she didn't really want.

A man goes mad about fish, two people fight over Theresa May and the secrets of the gorgeous pictures on the front of our food packets.

This week, we fail at walking the dog, we pay for the rich to go skiing, there's a new party in town and tips on where not to live by the people that live there.

In this episode: Career choices for teens; Donald Trump's physical shows he is part human; an arthritic slow moving political coup; France plays nice and two people shout at me about a member of the royal family.

In this episode: you are invited to a party but you might not want to go, the alarming dangers that come with our pets, the unfit-for-fighting army and the man who fell asleep while on-hold for my show.

We find out why Donald Trump is that colour, a menu leaves a bad taste in the mouth, the attack of the killer octopus, a man sues his parents for being his parents and two callers school me on Brexit.

Norman pushes drugs, Roger talks like a Mafia Don and global warming is a hoax because it is cold outside.

This week: Boris Johnson channels Churchill (again); relying on the Chinese to save us from the dark; the soothing properties of furniture packaging; who should not be the next James Bond and two absolutely furious callers to my LBC show.

Prince Harry's new boiler, the RAF's new toys and a VERY ANGRY VEGAN.

In this episode: Donald Trump saves his energy, zombies are alive (ALIVE!) beneath your feet, bore holes, Blackpool and babies.

In this Christmas-free episode: Chips, glorious chips, the gaming industry takes on the fishing industry and the gaming industry wins, Harry and Meghan play fixer-uppers, an insight into what motivates men to love Trump and in this week's favourite call from my LBC show, a very nice lady is not satisfied with her shopping exerience.

This week: Santa cracks the whip, Donald Trump has been a naughty President, Theresa May is popular (oh yes she is!) and the most rock 'n' roll story ever. Plus, two nice oldish ladies get confused by technology in the series of best-of calls to my Friday and Saturday night show on LBC.

Your next doctor will be a robot. The thing you ordered online will be delivered by an automaton using magnets. We are all about to have our jobs terminated by The Terminator. But don't fret - there's good news too. Full details inside.

In this episode: the destruction of everything we hold dear, a giant statue made of your money, why we work too hard for our own good, a very angry caller and a very famous actor sticks his oar in.

In the first of this series of brand new Nick Abbot podcasts: Donald Trump rates his sexual performance, Theresa May gets a lecture on the mating rituals of hedgehogs, Nick tells some jokes that made the actual news and a favourite call about the birds and the buffaloes to Nick's weekend shows on LBC